//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Getting Your Bearings // Story: No More Ponies // by TheBot705 //------------------------------// "Tada!" Derpy shouted as she stood on her hind legs and presented her so called house. There was a glass house, seeing through it you can see elegant furniture, paintings, and even a giant television. A few feet away from it was Derpy's house, a run down shack that had tears in the wood and broken windows. Travis's eye twitched when he compared the two houses, feeling pity for Derpy to live next to such a wonderful house's shadow. Christ this place is worse than the No More Heroes hotel, Travis said to himself, as Derpy slowly pushed him inside with the top of her head. When he entered the house, Travis lost his breathe as his own eyes could not believe what they were seeing. On the walls were posters of his video game No More Heroes, one with him holding his beam katana in an ever so bad ass pose, and another with him holding Sylvia in his arms saying, Heroes Paradise. Around Derpy's house was even more merchandise, a Wii with custom No More Heroes art, a fake replica of his beam katana Blood Berry, and he walked towards something that had caught his eye the most. He walked up to a table that had a manga titled, erotica comic, seeing Sylvia on the cover, a little blood ran from his nose as he began to slowly open it. But right before he could even see the first page, Derpy snatched it right out of his hands, threw it into a safe, locked it with a key, and then began to slowly the key as she chuckled softly and blushed a little. "Th-that was nothing. J-Just let me introduce you to your room!" Derpy skipped, although it looked a bit strange on a pony, into a room that resembled, no, looked exactly liked Travis's room in his own apartment. His mouth was wide agape, making it seem as if his jaw was about to fall off. What the hell? Travis thought. This chick, er mare, is really obsessed over me. Travis looked down at the grey mare, still thinking to himself.If it was any regular human girl I probably wouldn't care but, this is a god damn pony! And how the hell do you play the Wii with hooves?! Travis looked down at Derpy who looked at him with sparkling eyes that yelled, well what do you think? Travis smiled awkwardly at Derpy and nodded "Thanks it's nice! Really." Travis gulped before finishing his sentence "It's really close to home!" Travis suddenly remembered the note he had, he quickly opened it up and began to read it out loud "Dear Travis Touchdown, congratulations you have been selected to be our guest star on the show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic! Of course now renamed to My Little Pony: Fighting is Magic! We surely hope you will make a wonderful stay in you new home, besides, it isn't like you were going to get a sequel! Sincerely, Hasbro Studios...What the hell, you can't just sign your name as a whole company, it's just plain rude!" Travis flipped over the paper and saw the ridiculous names again as he had put up with enough bullshit he really didn't want to read them. Derpy got on the tip of her hooves to try to reach eye level with Travis as she smiled widely, hinting to volunteer to read the names for him. Not seeing any harm in it, Travis handed her the paper, but before she read it, she ran to her bathroom as the sounds of spray cans and a lawn mower could be heard. A few minutes of waiting and Derpy came out proud in a cosplay of Sylvia Crystal, everything to the white, tannish jacket, to the sunglasses Crystal would wear above her head. Travis actually a bit impressed and not freaked out, nodded to Derpy so she could read the names. Derpy with her chest out, her eyes proudly facing opposite directions, and a smile across her face, she began to read the note "Travis! You have faced against ranks for your own personal gain! But what will you do when it is your only way home! You must fight against 14 ranks in order to go back to your home! 14 Octavia Melody! But don't slack off for these ponies are to be reckoned with! 13 The Doctor, 12 Nurse Red-heart, 11 The Elegant Rarity, 10 The Great an Powerful Trixie, 9 Zecora," Travis yawned a bit for the count down was getting a bit boring, as a matter of fact Travis was so zoned out he missed 2 of the ranks until he snapped back into reality "The last 6 ranks are a surprise! But I'm sure you will feel the adrenaline flowing through your veins as you slash your way to the top! Slash your way to number 1!" Travis stood up with his fist in the air, smiled and said "Oh hell yeah now I'm really pumped about this!" Derpy continued "You can slash through the ranks!" She squinted at the note "For a mere fee of 100,000 bits which is how we keep currency in Ponyville." For a second Travis had stayed smiling in pure shock as his eyes were dilated in surprise. He feel to his hand and knees shortly after as a seemingly dark aura surrounded him. Travis yelled on the top of his lungs "This is bullshit! They expect me to pay for ranked matches even though I'm forced to do them!" Derpy trotted to Travis as she put her hoof on Travis's back to try and comfort him "There there, how about you come work with me?" Travis looked up to Derpy who smiled back. "Well it depends what your job is" Travis asked, in a less sorrowful town than before. "I'm a mail mare!" "Well I guess delivering mail isn't that bad" Travis stood up and rubbed his chin "Looks like things aren't going to be as bad as I thought they would be!" Derpy flew up and grabbed Travis around the shoulder with one hoof and yelled "NOW OFF TO THE GARDEN OF MADNESS!!!" Travis looked at Derpy with an annoyed sneer as she slowly flew down while chuckling to herself "Hehe, to loud?" Travis rolled his eyes as he thought over the recent events. First he arrives in this new world out of the blue, gets knocked out, and then doesn't even get a say if he wants to keep killing. As a mater of fact it wasn't very different from Santa Destroy when he had joined reluctantly joined the United Assassin Association. But Travis was just glad that nobody will be trying to kill him while he was trying to take a shit. Which reminded Travis of something. "Hey uh, Derpy?" Travis said "Yes!" She replied cheerfully. "You got anywhere I can drop a save?" Travis asked. "Oh the save station is just to your right!" She said while pointing to a door that was barely able to close. Though Travis didn't mind, considering he's had worse save points than what Derpy had to offer. Travis quickly pulled down his pants and sat on the toilet as he let out a long sigh. Derpy slowly picked her head in, blushing and smiling as she took out a camera and began snapping photos of Travis. The flash getting Travis's attention, he quickly looked towards Derpy and threw the pink toilet paper at him as she ran away still chuckling in success. "You god damn pervert!" Travis yelled "Wait hold on can you throw back the toilet paper!" The pink toiled paper slowly rolled into the bathroom as Travis sighed in relief.