//------------------------------// // 171. Dreadful by Sankt Kaiser // Story: The Sun and the Stars: A Twilestia Prompt Collab // by Fuzzyfurvert //------------------------------// by Sankt Kaiser *** Twilight’s mind went off like a venerable encyclopedia during the pensive, hour long procession. Everypony around her carried a lurid expression; however, only few shed tears. She couldn’t pinpoint whether they mourned the pony in the casket or dreaded the sempiternal tristiloquy the priest was giving. Twilight and the royal mares beside her fell into the latter. If Luna had been allowed to give the eulogy it would have been brazen, acidulous to the point of no return, but most of all it would be breviloquent. The priest’s epicede was quickly becoming a lugubrious paean rife with extol. “Pfft…” Luna’s cheeks puffed out as she stifled her giggles to no avail. Nobleponies looked back at her irate, this only strengthened the intensity of her laughter. “Pffahaha!” An incisive guffaw followed Luna’s snickering capturing the scrutiny of everypony taking the funeral “serious”. Cadence was the unexpected perpetrator this time around, and unlike Luna who tried to suppress her callow snickering, hers was a clarion of mirth. Exhaling a calming breath, Twilight turned to her paramour for a reprieve from the foalishness displayed by her extended family, but low and behold, albeit very inconspicuous, Celestia had joined them.She remained regal and poised, lips pursed to a tenuous line, however, her shimmering eyes betrayed her mask of cool indifference. “You have got to be kidding me…” Twilight sibilantly mumbled lost in her own world. A curious white ear twitched in her direction. “This is so embarrassing.” “Is everything alright, Twilight dear?” Celestia asked her tender voice full of concern. She brushed her muzzle against Twilight’s affectionately trying to coerce the quiet mare to speak. The mulberry alicorn scrunched snout unsure of how she should react to the public display of affection. “No, everything's not alright.” she huffed deciding nopony saw any meaning behind the action. “There is nothing funny or nugacious about a funeral; it’s absolutely dreadful!” “But--” Luna chimed in only to be silenced by a moue of displeasure. “Nevermind.” “We are here to mourn your nephew and cousin!” Twilight jabbed both Cadence and Luna with glares. “Step-nephew/cousin.” the three alicorns flatly stated without a care. “He may have been vexing, but he still deserves some respect.” Twilight’s eyes darted left and right before whispering, “Some.” Celestia chuckled forgoing her solemn facade and asked, “Do you see this farce playing before us?” “Obviously, but what does that have to do with your giggling?” “Blueblood was many things. He was narcissistic, I’ll give him that, but he also had a penchant for comedy.” Stretching out a great wing, the ivory mare lovingly brushed Twilight’s mane. “Even you started to enjoy his company after some time. Laughing at posh earth ponies with sticks so far up their plots you’d think they were unicorns seemed to be the trending topic between you two.” “Our dearly departed nephew would rather we laugh than be somber.” Luna nodded her head smiling, “He would do the same should the tables be flipped. And in the eulogy he would do his best to idyllically portray our shenanigans.” “He’d also replace the knell with an orchestral pony polka.” Cadence added with a great grin as she embraced the selenian ruler. “I heard that Octavia pony played it rather well during the Grand Galloping Gala.” A small smile breached Twilight’s stoic face, she recalled adjourning a meeting early and remained seated with Blueblood after everypony left. He made an offhand comment about how a governor's toupe was askew. Celestia was right about her nephew, he loved to make ponies laugh. She quietly giggled along with the rest of her royal family, and as more memories flooded in their laughter doubled. “This funeral’s taking so long the only thing keeping me awake is my lexiphanic inner narration!” Twilight leaned on her lover in a hysterical fit. “HE CHOKED ON A PECAN!” Luna exclaimed in the Royal Canterlot voice to break the taciturn mood. She had her hooves wound tightly around her sides as she fell down in laughter dragging Cadence down with her. Horrified gasps echoed amongst the funeral goers, all eyes focused on the peanut gallery. The ponies who genuinely mourned Blueblood’s passing began laughing along with the dignified mares who were lost in their cachinnation. They recalled the prince’s charming smile as he mocked a pony’s fashion or the way he worried about his appearance. The Princess of Love was the next to disturb the crowd. “He was bluer than a blueberry that silly Blueblood!” “Worst of all, he didn’t even like pecans!” Celestia chimed in. “In fact he absolutely abhorred them!” By now the four alicorns had tears streaming down their cheeks as they laughed. They came to a final conclusion simultaneously: funerals were dreadful and awfully wordy. A simple reminder of who the pony was, was more than enough to send them off. But laughing at any other funeral is still a faux pas. Avoid it.