Urohringr

by Imploding Colon


Oh Please, Not This Again

Bellesmith shuddered with relief as she stared out the open windows of the Observation Room. She saw the Tarkington take off from the temple where it had previously been stranded. The vessel reeled about, gliding sideways through the clouds until it ascended to a position along the Noble Jury's side.

The mare leaned in, nuzzling Kera's green, rain-slicked mane. She heard a clatter of hooves and glanced behind her.

Zaid climbed down the crawlspace and landed in the doorframe beside Elma. He saw Belle and stood in place.

The mare smiled tearfully. She squeezed Kera in her grasp and murmured, "Thank you... thank you for keeping her safe..."

"Hey..." Zaid shrugged with a smirk. He spoke above the noisy wind, "I have respect for little bundles of cuddle drool, seeing as I tend to be one myself from time to time, especially when I dream of grilled cheese—" He bumped into a dazed changeling and glanced down at it. "Hello!" He flinched, blinking. "And who might you be when you're at home?"

"Zaid, that's... uh..." Belle gulped. "That's Elma Boreal."

"Yeah, no shit?" Zaid smiled. He turned. He looked past Belle, and his face paled. "Oh shit..."

"...?" Belle turned and looked directly into the ooze-spitting maw of a zombie pegasus. She fell back with a shriek, clutching Kera to her fuzzy chest.

The creature had wedged itself midway through the bars of the shattered observation window. What's more, it wasn't alone. Two more had flown up from the lower clouds and were struggling to squeeze through the circular metal frame. Their bones crunched and their flesh peeled as they wriggled their way further and further into the Noble Jury's interior. Soon, feathers and puddles of lavender muck rolled onto the lower bulkheads. All the while, more and more undead buzzed around the windy air immediately outside the ship's bow.

"Th-they must have swarmed us while the Tarkington took off!" Belle exclaimed. She scampered to her hooves with Kera in her grasp and backtrotted to the doorframe. "Blessed Spark, I had n-no idea they could be so quiet!"

"Who's judging them?!" Zaid exclaimed. "Just run and get yourself to the rear of the ship!" He called up the crawlspace. "Eagle! Josho! We have a problem!"

Belle's eyes were locked on the ooze pooling across the floor of the observation room. "Oh no... oh no no no no no no no!"

"What is it?!"

"It's too late!" She grimaced. "Their essence has invaded the Jury! They'll be spawning from the inside now!"

"The heck do you mean?" As Zaid saw that, he heard a sickening crunch noise—like cockroach shells breaking in the night—and he turned to see a slimy equine shape emerging from an impossibly thin pool of muck. "Ohhhhhhhhh-ho-ho-ho-ho that is the ickest!"

Josho descended the crawlspace, followed by Eagle Eye. "Ledo fluff it, Zaid, what's with all the commotion—whoah dayum!"

"How?!" Eagle's voice cracked as he shivered against the doorframe, pupils twitching. "How did they even?!"

"Never mind how!" Belle shouted, gazing wide-eyed at the others. "We gotta get them out before they infect the whole ship!"

"I thought you said it was too late!" Zaid said.

"We have to do something!"

"EE...?" Josho rushed forward.

"Oh jeez..." Eagle scampered by Josho's side. "Oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez..."

"Let's try combining our magic fields," Josho snarled, already illuminating his horn and aiming it at the purple-stained window. "Maybe we can sweep all the gunk out."

Eagle gulped, glowing his horn as well. "You really think so?"

"No. But let's try it anyways."

"What in the spit is going on down there?!" Floydien's voice hollered.

"Uhhhh... just a sec, sexy!" Zaid spun and kicked-kicked-kicked at a hammock's support beam on the starboard side. "Gnnngh!" Crack! He snapped the long bar loose and gripped it in the crook of one hoof. "You keep doing your voodoo, dudes!" He rushed forward and started stabbing at the necks and muzzles of the hissing pegasi. "I'll hold the mouth breathers back in the meantime!"

"Zaid, d-don't!" Belle winced. "For Spark's sake! They'll reel you in! Don't let them touch you! Nnnngh!" Nostrils flaring, she gently laid Kera down besides Elma, yanked another bar loose from where Zaid had kicked the bulkhead, and rushed to his side. "Here! I'll give you cover!"

"Could r-really use your David Clopperfield trick right about now, g-guys!" Zaid sputtered.

"Working on it..." Josho hissed with a sweating face.

"Your leyline is breaking, old stallion," Eagle Eye stammered. "You have to concentrate better!"

"You're the one with the weak field! I'm giving it my all!"

"Dudes, this isn't a contest!"

"Zaid! Your left side!"

"I see it! Guhh! If only Khao could see me now, fighting licorice monsters with a pole!"

"There're more of them flying up!"

"For Spark's sake, concentrate!"

"I'm trying!"

"Floydien! Keep her steady, for the love of all that's holy!"

Meanwhile, Elma stared sideways, her face lying against the floor. She blinked, her green eyes twitching as she watched the panicked scene unfold. Despite the best efforts of the Jurists, the purple muck crept further and further into the Observation Room, consuming the hull of the ship from the inside out at a dramatic rate.

Just then, green columns of steam billowed from the corners of Elma's optics. She gasped, her face gaining tattoos and losing them in a blink. Biting her lip, she rolled over, staring at Kera's dormant figure.

The filly lay curled in a fetal position, her eyes forever gazing into some unseen abyss. The cries and struggles of her closest companions fell on deaf ears.

Elma's breaths came in short bursts. She slowly reached a hoof out, caressing the foal's tattooed chin. Belle's voice hollered once more, and the changeling flinched, glancing over at the dramatic struggle while Josho and Eagle Eye combined their magical telekineses.


"Grrgggh!" Rainbow Dash spun, effectively lopping off the skulls of three pegasi with a swing of the Sword of Solstice. With a spare moment to breathe, she hovered in place, spitting the hilt of the sword out of her mouth so she could grip the thing in two hooves. "Pilate, now would be a good time to start deus ex machining."

"I've... b-been trying... to pull this lever every w-way I can!" The zebra sputtered, yanking hard on the device located at the top of the dank room's central cylinder. "I refuse to believe that all it can d-do is summon the flying dead!"

"You sure you're trying everything?"

"Yes, Rainbow, confound it!" Pilate snarled as shadows swam over him and the skystone fastened to his back. "I swear, this is a dead end!"

"Haaaugh!" Rainbow skewered a shrieking pegasus and flung it back to the ooze-stained walls. She turned back to him, panting. "Okay, so maybe you're putting too much thought into it!"

"Point being?!"

"Duh. You're a stallion." She said, dodging a dollop of purple slime from the ceiling. "Be bone-headed for once!"

Pilate blinked, then blinked again. "...Haaaaaaaaaaaugh!" He thrusted his skull forward. The helm head-butted the lever, snapping it down along the hinge of its fulcrum. Clank! Vrmmmmmmmm! The cylinder rotated and sunk down into the center dais. Suddenly, the circular floor where Pilate was situated sunk down one granite plank at a time until—at last—a twenty-foot wide platform lowered like an elevator into uncertain darkness. "Uhmmm..."

"Now that's the way to unthink!" Rainbow grinned, then dove down towards the sinking platform. "Step aside! Quick!"

"Gah!" Pilate complied, stumbling.

"Hnnnt!" Rainbow stabbed the Sword of Solstice blade-first into the center of the lowering platform.

An aura of blinding gold light emanated from the impact, melting away any residual slime clinging to the platform. Even Pilate winced as his helm's sensors briefly fluctuated from the luminescent overload.

When the pulse of light dimmed, the two found themselves descending a deep cylindrical shaft far below the dark heart of Stratopolis where the undead-fueling ooze originated.

"So, where's that dang c-control room?" Rainbow stammered.

"Rainbow, you feel that?" Pilate panted as he stretched a hoof out. He tilted his helm towards her. "Air's rushing down with us—as if to fill a hollow space." His muzzle curved slightly. "I do believe the chamber Roarke spoke of awaits us!"

"Well, neato keano. Maybe we can take a photograph for her, since she sent us on a total death trip in the first place."

"Rainbow, if it wasn't for her—"

"I know, Pilate. I get it. This had to be done." Rainbow glanced aside at the circular walls of granite sliding up past them. "A part of me kinda wishes that I could have learned more before sending this place crashing."

"If you ask me, Rainbow, the pegasi who ran this facility eons before Hurricane took over were supreme victims of curiosity and hubris. No need for you to follow their exact—" The zebra suddenly jerked, tilting his helm upwards.

"What is it, boy?"

"A body," Pilate muttered. "Diving down swiftly."

"More pegasi?" Rainbow smirked and raised her sword, gazing upwards. "Zombie sushi, coming right up—!"

KAPOW! A blast of yellow mana shot down and struck Rainbow.

"Gaaugh!" the mare fell back with a splash of blood. The Sword of Solstice clattered to the floor in the center of the lowering platform.

"Rainbow!" Pilate reached for her—

Fwooosh! On a streak of amber rocket exhaust, a reptilian figure landed hard on the platform between Rainbow and Pilate. Clank! Razzar stood straight up, his joints tightening as he glared down at Pilate with a glinting mask.

"The ride stops here, my little ponies..."