//------------------------------// // Chapter 13 // Story: Ponystuck // by confoundtheseponies //------------------------------// In the centre of Skaia, the Battlefield had changed greatly from its days as a 3x3 chessboard on which two kings sat locked in eternal stalemate. Now, with seven prototypings, the planet on which the two armies fought was now a complex system. In addition to the central sphere which was now littered in mountain ranges and oceans, the entire planet was surrounded by a tangled ring of rock amongst which the two armies waged battles for air supremacy. Further afield than this surrounding ring, the Battlefield had two moons which orbited. One of these moons had its own little moon. At this stage in the fight, even those who did not know that the army of Darkness was always going to win would be able to see the clear victor. The skies were dominated by the army of Darkness, and the White King stood over the one patch of the Battlefield which the army of Light still controlled. The most generous estimates wouldn't have given the White King more than a day left to live. In reality, he had all of five minutes, as a powerful and twisted creature neared the Battlefield. *** In the midst of the Land of Shadow and Spirit, Acapella and Diamond Heart were both extremely bored. They had been struggling with the shadowy maze they were currently stuck in for over two hours, and it was beginning to get them down. Diamond suspected that the maze was actually changing shape around them as they continued onwards. Acapella suspected she was right. Then something happened to alleviate the boredom - but that only added to the confusion. [suspiciousSeraphim (Ss) began pestering homelessChicken] Ss: Hello! HC: Oh, hey... uh... HC: Wait, what? "Hey, Diamond. Come have a look at this." Beckoning her friend over to her laptop, Acapella pointed a hoof at the name of this new pony, whoever it was. Unfortunately pointing a hoof at one line of text was the same as pointing a hoof at anything else on the screen, but luckily Diamond was able to gather her meaning. "But... isn't... wait, no, I'm suspiciousSerpent." "Yeah, and your... uh, I mean..." Acapella thought about it for a moment. "Silver Edge's name is shiningSeraphim." "Right. So... who's this?" There was already one too many double S's running around, in Diamond's opinion. That said, ever since dying she had remained as Diamond - so that was one benefit, she supposed. Plus she could fly now, which was awesome. HC: I hope this isn't too forward, but... "Stop being so polite." Diamond chided her friend. "Whoever they are, they're suspicious. They can't be trusted!" Acapella decided to let that particular thread of logic go. It wasn't worth the argument. HC: What's your name? Ss: I'm Silver Heart! Well, wasn't that just perfect. Diamond and Acapella both turned to look at each other, the former covering her face with her hooves. HC: Uh... OK, um... HC: Why are you talking to me? Ss: Because all the other ponies in my group are talking to you guys, so I figured I may as well join in the fun! HC: Right... HC: I suddenly understand nothing. *** "I'm back!" Rainbow Dash called as she returned to Carousel Boutique, shaking the rain off of her feathers - and making sure to get as much of it as possible on the dresses Rarity had lined up near the entrance. It wasn't like she'd need them, anyway. In any case, Rarity only gave a vague murmur of recognition as she concentrated on her current task of building Sugarcube Corner. "So, Pinkie got in OK, yeah?" "Hm? Oh, yes, she's fine. Finally." Glancing over at the clock on the wall, and quickly making a few calculations, Rarity hummed thoughtfully to herself. "Two hours, and it's our turn." "Yeah. I suppose I should talk to Twilight, and make sure she's ready, right?" Rainbow waited for a response, but Rarity had already gone back to focusing on the building. Apparently she was finding it incredibly thrilling for whatever reason. "Yeah, I'll do that." [prismaticAscension began talking with crespucularMagicant] PA: Hey Twilight. CM: Rainbow! Hi! PA: What's gotten you so excited? CM: Well, I'm kind of-ARGH! CM: Multitasking! PA: :S PA: Should I come back later? CM: No! This is... fine... CM: What did you want? PA: I just wanted to check when you're going to be able to get us in. CM: Oh, right! Well, I'm... CM: Hold on. CM: This is going to require a bit of concentration. *** [FUTURE suspiciousSerpent (SS) began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] FSS: hey, Comet. FSS: specifically, Past Comet. Past Comet who's reading through this memo right now, answer. [CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] CFA: i assume you mean me, because that makes no sense and apparently it is the job of future selves to cause self-defeating time loop bs FSS: correct, on all counts. anyway. FSS: just so you know, our Reckoning has started, as of a few minutes before where you are on the timeline. CFA: seriously? FSS: yeah. but none of us had any idea because you'd left the foals to their own devices. they've now been sent on their way, as part of the meteor barrage currently heading for Skaia. FSS: we only know because I'm telling you now. CFA: oh. ok, that makes sense CFA: thanks, i guess FSS: no problem. [FUTURE suspiciousSerpent (SS) stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] CFA: ok everypony, you heard the lady CFA: action stations right the fuck now CFA: just when you thought shit couldn't get any real CFA: it just did [CURRENT fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] *** DD: Remind me again, how did you make this? ES: ok, BASICALLY ES: i combined your sword with a legendary umbrella DD: Seriously? ES: yes DD: XD DD: OK, I'm going to go test this thing out. After some experimentation, it had been discovered that the bladekind abstrata which Destiny used would accept any weapon that was technically any kind of blade - however slight the similarity. Using the latest code which ES had sent her, Destiny had produced her newest weapon which she was now testing. It was a slightly more traditional sword, in contrast with the other weapons which had mostly been a variation on the theme of 'sword with x attachment' - where x had covered 'sniper rifle', 'door handle', and everything in between. Confronting the Ochre Gliclops that she had finally tracked down, Destiny once again called upon her powers. Using the might of her ragey thing to focus her own ability and disrupt her opponent, the pegasus became a flurry of sword and more sword as she dodged around the gliclops. Unable to focus enough to actually hit her, the gliclops roared helplessly as Destiny gradually knocked away at its substantial health - until it was sufficiently weakened. Half jumping, half flying above the gliclops, she drove the blade downwards into its skull. Now, it was time to test the latest improvement to her weapon. Pushing in the button on the hilt and dragging the handle backwards, the blade opened outwards within the gliclops, its serrated edges tearing at the inside of the underling. As Destiny finally dragged the Killing in the Rain out of the gliclops, the blade was compressed back into its sheathed form, and the gliclops collapsed onto the ground before dissolving into a small pile of grist. DD: And that, children, is why you should never open an umbrella inside. ES: HA ES: WOW ES: that was awesome! DD: It really was. DD: Wait, you can see what I'm doing? ES: um ES: yes. didn't you know that? DD: No! Can all of your group see us, then? ES: well, YEAH DD: Oh. DD: I'm... not sure how I feel about that. ES: well never mind, it's NOT that big of a deal DD: I guess. DD: Anyway, this umbrella sword is awesome, thanks! ES: ^^ ES: no problem, but i should go now DD: Yeah, OK. ES: BYE [eclecticSage ceased pestering desertedDestiny] "Destiny?" Captchaloguing her laptop and turning around, Destiny was fairly surprised to see Summer standing before her, looking thoroughly repentant. "Uh... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for leaving for so long, and that we can go and take care of my denizen now. If, uh... if you wanted to." Well, it had taken her long enough to show up. Still, it was better late than never. Destiny nodded. "Yeah, let's go!" *** "Hey, Comet." The casual greeting seemed almost surreal when it was being delivered by a God. Regardless, Comet responded to Mild's arrival with a vague nod of recognition. "Having fun?" The God inquired, although he probably knew the answer already. "Not really. I wouldn't mind the frogs so much if it wasn't for the underlings I have to deal with whenever I venture outside." Come to think of it, he thought, it was odd that Ember hadn't liked adventuring on his planet. The enemies were completely unstoppable thanks to his stupid prototyping. "Speaking of which, you could - by which I mean you're going to - help me out." "Actually, I'm afraid I have business to take care of on LOSAC. Somepony has to take out my denizen, after all." "Oh, yeah." Right, Comet thought, the denizens. As he had come to realise from the hushed whispers of consorts throughout the Medium, each of the six planets in their session had a large, powerful creature that controlled the underlings. Sooner or later each of them needed to deal with their denizens in order to win the game, through some strange game mechanic that made even less sense than the frog thing. "I'll need to deal with Hephaestus as soon as I'm done here, now that I think about it." "True. But in any case, I have somepony here who can help you." Gesturing for the pony that had been hiding in the trees behind him to come forward, Mild stepped to one side to reveal... was that Diamond? "This is Silver Edge." Well, he was almost right. "Oh." Inside Comet's head, he quickly double checked that one plus one did indeed make one, when divided by two. Satisfied, he began to question exactly what Mild had just said. "I thought that Silver Edge was just Diamond in crazy mode." At that, Mild laughed, and Silver shot both of them an angry glare. "Not quite. It turns out that both Diamond Heart and Silver Edge are two entirely separate entities, who until recently have been... 'sharing', shall we say, one body. However, after that body was killed on LOSAS, we now have two fully individual dream selves. Diamond is adventuring on LOSAS with Acapella, as you know. And I discovered Silver on Derse after we killed the Black Queen." "Right. That makes sense. So, is she in the group, or what?" Acceptance was probably the easiest way to deal with this turn of events, Comet decided. "Yes, of course I'm in the group!" Silver said, apparently almost hurt by the idea that she might not be in the group. "OK, fine. Well if you really want to be in the group, then I guess you can stick around here and help me breed frogs." It wasn't the most appealing job, Comet had to admit. And in all fairness, they had kind of forced Silver into this game by getting Diamond to play. But at least it would be more fun with two ponies. *** "Hello? Is anypony there?" It was just her imagination, Applejack tried to tell herself. There was nopony out here, besides her. She couldn't have just heard a faint rustling in the bushes, or seen a shadow darting through the fog. That was just ridiculous. But gog damn it was unnerving. Suddenly, Fluttershy. With a yelp of surprise, the pegasus suddenly appeared directly above Applejack, sending both ponies crashing to the ground in a tangled heap of pony and shrub. Seizing the opportunity, unknown to both ponies, the creature that had very nearly been discovered sprinted off into the fog, leaving Fluttershy and Applejack to pick themselves up. "What in tarnation was that about, Fluttershy?" If there was any anger in Applejack's voice, it was more because of the sudden terror of having an unknown pony fall onto you than because of any injury. "Ya can't just go around jumping on ponies that are clearly on edge!" Fluttershy, already embarrassed by the whole event, now bent even lower to the ground, hiding behind her mane as she always did in such situations. "I'm really, really sorry Applejack! I just pushed the button and it... I'm sorry." One baleful eye warily emerged from the side of her mane as the pegasus tilted her head, swiftly removing any remaining frustration towards Fluttershy that Applejack may have had. Nopony could ever stay mad at Fluttershy, after all. Applejack sighed, reaching a hoof out to help Fluttershy back up to her feet. "That's alright, sugarcube. But what are ya doing out here anyway?" "Oh, I'm apparently supposed to be going all around the Medium as part of my quest to find frogs." She paused, looking around the dense forest they were both standing in. "I don't suppose you've seen any frogs around here?" A short distance away, a twig snapped. "Can't say Ah have. Ya could try asking the folks who live round here, but it wouldn't help." The Land of Secrets and Lies certainly lived up to its name, to Applejack's continued annoyance - every single piece of information was locked away behind countless riddles and side quests. Nopony gave anything for free on this planet, and what they did give was probably stolen. Needless to say, the element of honesty found it a wholly terrible place to be. "Oh. Well, maybe I could just help you out for a little bit?" Now that was an idea that Applejack could get behind. "Sure! It'd be nice to have some company. And besides..." Taking a few steps forward, Applejack quickly looked around to check their surroundings before whispering into Fluttershy's ear. "Ah don't think we're alone." *** Having left Comet and Silver behind in the Land of Joy and Frogs, Mild used the opportunity to send a few messages to his supposed ally. PD: I couldnt help but notice you killed the white king. PD: That was a bit stupid of you. PD: Yes it makes no difference I realise that. PD: But even so you should have at least talked to me about it. His ally never responded to his messages, so Mild began closing his laptop immediately after finishing his little rant. Suddenly, however, he stopped, as the bleep of a new message caused him to reopen his laptop. Although simply printing the reply would waste perfectly good dramatic tension, the message itself was clear. The next time you try and tell me how to do my job... You'll wish you could die. For a few moments, Mild hovered in the middle of the Medium, currently several miles away from his planet. Panic swept over him. Was this just a threat, or was this a closing of their agreement? Should he be worried about this? What if he'd been a complete idiot in making this deal in the first place? His laptop bleeped again, and - after a quick prayer - he checked the message. Lol. *** Completely oblivious to the killer who was currently stalking her, Pinkie Pie happily bounced around the small village her first gate had taken her to. She had only been in the Land of Presents and Laughter for a few hours, but she was already in love with the planet. Everywhere she looked in the village there were hedgehogs with huge sacks filled with presents, addressed to anyone and everyone. The whole planet seemed to be littered in cakes, and balloons, and all of the things which were the best things. Best. Planet. Ever. Hiding in the hills of presents, slowly edging closer to his prize, the Artillery Regulator watched as Pinkie happily danced around the village. Although she appeared carefree, he knew that she was one of the most dangerous of these ponies. The chances were she already knew exactly where he was, and was allowing him to live for her own amusement. Something about that made the regulator double check his equipment. There are few feelings more unnerving than being scared of a bright pink pony. *** [CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] CFA: there CFA: we're finally done with the frog CFA: i'd like to give a shoutout to silver, she's been very helpful, and i mean that genuinely. this took a lot of effort CFA: but in the end it was all worth it CFA: look at that glorious tadpole. look at it CFA: he doesn't give a shit about everything, swimming around in that little goldfish ball CFA: lucky bastard CFA: anyway, the frog is done, so me and silver are heading off to my planet to take out my denizen CFA: unless i have to deal with emmy's denizen as well because he is the most FUCKING USELESS HERO OF SPACE IN THE HISTORY OF CREATION [CURRENT mushroomAddict began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] CMA: hEY iM GOING TO KILL MY DENIZEN YOU DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT CFA: oh of course, it's a great quest when it involves just smashing stuff, then you're all over that quest CMA: nOT MY FAULT THAT THE FROG THING WAS STUPID CFA: i'm past the point where i actually believe any good will come of arguing CFA: so whatever. if you want to kill your denizen then that's fine [CURRENT homelessChicken began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] CHC: I thought we weren't supposed to kill the denizens? CHC: Mine was quite helpful, once he'd settled down. [FUTURE fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] FFA: yeah, there's a variety of ways that the denizens can be dealt with FFA: i talked to mine, and got a badass weapon out of it. i can't use it, but still FFA: i mean, i just had to solve a few riddles and then he forks over like 801 metric fucktons of grist CFA: really? is it that easy? FFA: yeah man. just go and take care of it CFA: ok [CURRENT fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] FFA: heh, poor bastard CHC: <:D FFA: so anyway, deal with them however you want, but i guess charging ahead and killing them is another option CMA: wELL THATS WHAT i DO BEST ISNT IT FFA: yes, yes, now go and kill your giant space lizard woman FFA: or whatever it is. as for the rest of you lot, you'd better clean up your planets and move out as quickly as possible FFA: finish your quests, kill/talk/whatever your denizens, then you can all meet up on skaia FFA: i'll have seen you there [FUTURE fractalAbomination stopped responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] *** CM: Hold on. CM: This is going to require a bit of concentration. Emerging on the Land of Trees and Frogs many hours ago, Twilight had been greeted by the bear consorts and taken to their village. Over time, she had been tasked with numerous quests to help the villagers in some way or another, which had eventually culminated in her current quest - joining the bears in driving back the underlings to the caves beneath the planet. After that, it would be easier for Fluttershy to perform her frog duties - as the underlings were programmed to attack frogs on sight. At that exact moment, Twilight was confronting a large Granite Lich. The bears all around her were keeping the remaining underlings preoccupied, leaving the unicorn to deal with the most powerful underling. She wasn't sure if the lich had any kind of magic of its own, but she did know that it was going to take a lot of effort to take it out. Fortunately, she had come to this fight prepared. Drawing the latest addition to her strife deck, the Murder, She Wrote (the latest in her series of sword/quill combinations), Twilight surveyed her surroundings as she rushed towards the lich. There were few trees in this area, the gap between bear and underling territory, and the landscape was covered in a thick layer of compacted ash. There wasn't really anything she could use. Luckily, she didn't need to rely on her environment any more. Reaching the lich, and quickly jumping to one side as it almost succeeded in crushing her beneath its foot, Twilight opened up the Historically Accurate which she had been floating beside her. Although she had owned this large history book since the first few hours of the game, it was only recently that she had discovered the extent of its time powers. Maybe because before she hadn't been trying to, or maybe because only now were her time powers strong enough, but now Twilight was capable of using the book to send herself backwards or forwards in time by small amounts. Which was just enough for what happened next. Twilight leapt towards the lich, stabbing it with her quillsword. Then she took a quick step to the left and sent herself a few seconds back in time. Then she carried on doing this. To the casual observer, about eighty Twilight Sparkles leapt forwards and stabbed the lich, stepped to the left, and then seventy nine Twilight Sparkles disappeared. The one remaining Twilight then jumped upwards to be eye level with the wounded lich, before quickly decapitating the underling with her quill. As the bears pushed forwards, some of them giving triumphant cheers as they went, Twilight remembered she was talking with Rainbow Dash. CM: I'll get back to you in an hour. PA: OK. [prismaticAscension stopped talking with crespucularMagicant] *** The seventh of the gates suspended above Summer's house had led deep within the Land of Brooks and Woods, to a hidden network of underground caverns. Presumably one of these would lead to the monstrosity that ruled over LOBAW - Cetus, which was apparently some kind of sea monster. To be frank, Summer didn't see the harm in letting Cetus stay down here. It couldn't hurt the surface. What was the problem? Sadly, the game seemed to have other ideas, so here she was. At least Destiny was here to help. "Just remember the plan," Summer reminded Destiny, for the fourteenth time. "We go in, we talk to it, we try to convince it to give us the grist hoard. That's all we're after, that's all we need, and then it can go back to whatever it does." "And when that doesn't work?" As far as Destiny was concerned, negotiating was a losing battle. The fact that they were only assuming that Cetus could speak was a factor in her reasoning. "We kill it, right?" "Yes. Now hold up, I think we're here." In front of the two pegasi, the tunnel took a sharp left, which - judging by the light coming from it - opened out into a larger room. A small puddle near the entrance to this room suggested the path would take them out onto some kind of underground lake. "Remember, no sudden movements." Counting to three, and nodding, both ponies stepped around the corner and into the large open area. Sure enough, they were at the edge of a large lake, the surface of which broke as an enormous creature cut through the water. Presumably, that was Cetus. The underlings had been getting larger recently, but not that large. Breaking through the lake once more, Cetus turned its head towards them, considering the two little ponies. The creature was shaped like a large sea serpent, its tail twisting around it as it floated on the surface. Besides the noise of the water being thrashed around by the tail, there was silence until Destiny attempted to speak. "Uh-" The moment the noise left Destiny's mouth, the monster screeched horrifically before darting towards them with its teeth bared. "FUCK!" *** "Comet." Given the circumstances, Silver's voice was admirably level. "I couldn't help but notice that we are about to die." Comet, to his credit, made a half-hearted attempt to not flip his shit before responding. "Don't you even think about getting smart with me. Don't. You. Even. Dare." A bone chilling roar, alarmingly close by, reminded the two ponies of their predicament. "How was I to know that my future self was trying to kill me?" "I don't know." Silver replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Maybe because of how you're trying to kill your past selves?" "That's different. Past me deserves it for being such a pretentious bitch. Future me is just being an elitist pile of-" Another roar, even closer, cut him off. Both of them knew exactly what he was going to say anyway. "And isn't that exactly what you said about current you when you were past you?" "I hope you realise that none of this is going to help." In all honesty, he was still mystified about the circumstances that had led up to the two of them being chased around the inside of LOCAR by Hephaestus. "But seriously, I call serious doubt on his so called 'riddle'." "Oh gog, not this again." "Excuse me, but that was not a riddle. It was a tongue twister. Yellow lorry, my ass." "OK, fine, it wasn't a riddle! We're still going to die!" While he was good at his job of noticing the little things, Comet all too easily forgot the bigger picture, as Silver was only just learning. "Yeah, but at least my intellect is no longer up for debate." As for common sense... Silver thought. "Now who's being elitist? Do you have any ideas for how to get us out of here, or not?" "Yeah, I do have one idea." Comet retrieved his laptop, and opened up the team chat memo. [CURRENT fractalAbomination began responding to memo TEAM FUCKASS] CFA: hey future me CFA: get your ass over here now you son of a bitch *** Applejack's quests on her planet seemed to revolve primarily around healing the land from the poisons that had tainted the world. Exactly what these poisons were was a point left vague, but it was clear from the context that it was either due to, or a cause of, the unpleasant crocodiles which lived on the planet. In this, Fluttershy was a very competent helper, even though she didn't share Applejack's powers and was incapable of fighting the occasional wave of underlings that attempted to slow the ponies down. More importantly than anything else, she provided company in the lonely mist, which Applejack couldn't imagine herself coping without. Or at least, not for this long. "So, as ya can imagine, the whole herd just-woah!" Taking a step forwards and finding nothing but open air, Applejack cried out as she tumbled forwards over the cliff face which the mist had obscured, falling into the trees below. Fluttershy, at the sound of Applejack's exclamation, had instantly dropped to the ground and attempted to hide underneath her hooves. After no further sounds came, she lowered her legs and peered over the edge of the cliff. "A-Applejack...?" She called down nervously, her temperamental fear of heights taking this opportunity to torment her once again. "Are you OK?" When the reply came, it was muffled by the trees as Applejack struggled to make herself heard. "Ah'm fine! Ah just... hurt my leg a little. Might be a good idea to rest it for a bit, can ya fly down here?" Fluttershy considered the drop. No, was the simple answer to that. She couldn't fly, not like this, not when she was scared and her friends’ life was in danger. No, she couldn't fly down there, but... Retrieving the MAP from her sylladex, Fluttershy carefully nudged the manual co-ordinate settings forwards and downwards, with all the precision of a true hero of Space. It kind of came with the territory. Appearing at the base of the cliff, near where Applejack was lying, Fluttershy's instincts kicked in the moment that she saw her friend's condition - although, as Applejack had said, it really wasn't that bad - and the pegasus instantly dropped everything and shot towards the injured earth pony. From the top of the cliff, the creature that had been following them throughout their adventures watched as Fluttershy tended to Applejack. It saw the MAP, discarded on the ground behind the two ponies. It grinned a slow, evil grin. *** "Ah, so the Prince of Space approaches me at last." Echidna smiled gently, stretching her arms wide. "I welcome you to my domain, my Prince." After smashing his way through legions of underlings, to be confronted by this seemingly docile - yet enormous - denizen had caught Ember Glow off guard. He now stood directly in front of Echidna, warhammer by his side. He nodded in greeting. "I know that you are here for the grist hoard, in order to achieve your ultimate goal. I believe that simply getting this far means you deserve this reward. But make no mistake - I will not be releasing the hoard lightly." "Yeah, I figured." Ember readied his warhammer. "Let's get this over with." If anything, Echidna seemed rather alarmed by his suggestion. "Wait!" Ember lowered his hammer. "I didn't mean you have to fight me! I simply require you to perform a task for me, in exchange for the hoard." Extending her hand, the denizen created a small model of a very familiar pony - Mild Darkness. "Your supposed friend, Mild Darkness, is planning to betray you. I know this, as I have seen its passing. All I desire is for this to not happen. I will give you the hoard freely, on the condition that your group will kill Mild Darkness before he is capable of perpetrating his evil." "You want me to kill Mild? No!" Ember was at least smart enough to consider that this was a trick - after all, the denizens were in charge of the underlings, who were undoubtedly enemies. "He's our friend!" "Is he?" Maybe not, Ember thought. He and Mild had never entirely seen eye to eye on certain matters. "Trust me when I say that you shall be forced to end his evil sooner or later. The sooner you do so, the greater your chances of success." "Yeah, I'm sorry but I don't really believe that. Sure, he likes to plan evil schemes, but he's not really the type to go through with them." So saying, he once again picked up the warhammer. "Plus it would be a whole lot harder than just killing you now." Echidna sighed, either accepting the futility of trying to change the future she had foreseen, or the futility of attempting to reason with Ember Glow. "Very well, you may endanger all of creation if you wish. But I would still prefer to not die. Lower your weapon; I will grant you access to the hoard." Ember considered the situation. On the one hoof, she was being very nice about this, and it would save time. On the other hoof, there was experience to be had, and he liked smashing stuff. "Actually, I think I'll just kill you." So he did.