//------------------------------// // Coming Out // Story: I Am Not Gay // by DisneyFanatic23 //------------------------------// "What's a Coming Out Party anyway?" Fluttershy asked the next day when they were all gathered in the library. Rarity was about to answer when Applejack said, "A Comin' Out Party is when a mare of a fancy schmancy family comes of age and is introduced into society." The unicorn stared at the farm girl. "What? Ya think I wouldn't pick up a few things after livin' with my Aunt and Uncle Orange? They took me to one of those things, but…" She glanced around at the streamers and balloons. "It was nothin' like this." "Indeed," Rarity said, still surprised at Applejack's knowledge of such things. "I would've thought it would be more…formal." She glanced down at her pink debutante gown. "Well, at least the punch is exquisite." She took a sip of the purple liquid. "I wonder who's coming out." "You'll see!" Pinkie Pie piped as she held out a tray of cake slices. "Cake?" Rainbow Dash had been sitting quietly ever since Fluttershy, Applejack and Rarity had arrived. She was still unsure about this, thinking about her nightmare. Her eyes wandered upstairs. Twilight had been hiding up there for a while. She decided it was time to check on her. She found the alicorn lying on her bed, her face buried in her pillow. Rainbow flew cautiously up to her and gently nudged her shoulder. "Uh, Twi? You okay?" Twilight lifted her eyes to meet Rainbow's. "Do you really think we should be doing this now?" The pegasus bit her lip. "We don't have to. I'm just as nervous about this as you are, but…I've been thinking. Remember when I was too scared to tell you guys I liked to read? It got me doing crazy things like stealing books and getting chased by the hospital staff." The alicorn raised an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with this?" "My point is that keeping secrets like this never turn out good. If we keep hiding who we are, especially from our friends, it'll become harder and harder to hide it." She laid her hoof on Twilight's back. "Besides, they're our friends. They'll understand." "I don't know. You didn't even know about it until a few days ago. I'll bet they won't even know what we're talking about." Rainbow sighed, realizing that there was only one option left and she knew she was going to regret this. "Maybe all they need is a little," she groaned, "lecturing." Instantly, Twilight's head shot up. Then her mouth broke into a grin. "Yes," she breathed. "YES! It's perfect! Get them ready! I'll go get my blackboard!" Rainbow Dash smiled a bit. Twilight was always able to talk during lectures, but Rainbow dreaded the endless boredom that was to come. "Finally, there's omnisexuality," Twilight explained, "which is similar to pansexuality, except ponies in this group acknowledge the differences in gender but simply don't care. And that is all the different sexualities. Any questions?" Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack sat in their stools dumbstruck. Rarity's eyes were as wide as saucepans, Applejack was scratching her head and Fluttershy looked like she was going to faint. Meanwhile, Rainbow was just waking up from her nap and Pinkie Pie was clapping her hooves. Applejack was the first to break the long silence. "So…why are you tellin' us all this again?" "Because it's a Coming Out Party!" Pinkie Pie chimed. "And the three of us are coming out! Duh!" "Coming out?" Rarity repeated. "But aren't you all a little old for…?" She glanced at the list of sexualities on the blackboard. "Oh! That kind of coming out!" "But whadya mean the three of you?" Applejack inquired. "Me, Rainbow Dash and Twilight!" Pinkie replied cheerfully. "I'm panny, Twilight's demi, and Rainbow Dash is ace!" The three oblivious ponies blinked. "Huh?" Fluttershy uttered. "Let me get this straight," Applejack said, looking at Twilight. "You said panny is short for pansexual, demi is demisexual and ace is asexual?" Twilight blushed, but tried to lighten the mood with a joke. "If this were an actual class, you'd get a gold star." "Err, I only remember one of those things," Rarity said. "That ace thing means…attracted to no pony?" "Well," Rainbow chuckled nervously, "not sexually, anyway." The unicorn tilted her head in confusion. "So…you don't…want it?" The pegasus shrugged. "No, not really." "But…you like Soarin, don't you?" "Sure, I do. I just…there's no part of me that wants…" Her face turned red. This was a lot more embarrassing to talk about than she thought it would be. "Is that even possible?" "Rarity!" Applejack exclaimed, poking her in the side. "What? I'm just asking!" "It's okay, Rarity," Twilight assured her. "In our pony society, we're expected to want it. Asexuals like Rainbow are a…special case. Demisexuals like me are sort of the same, except…when we become really emotionally close to someone…" Applejack held up her hoof. "We get it, we get it. What I don't get is that if Pinkie is pansexual…does that mean she's in love with…every pony?" "No, silly!" Pinkie snorted. "It means I can fall in love with any pony, whether they're a mare or stallion or transsexual! But I'm not in love with every pony! That would be crazy! For instance, I never once had a crush on you, Applejack!" "What?" "Yeah! And a good thing too, considering there's a possibility you're my fourth cousin twice removed, I mean imagine how awkward that would've been had I been in love with you when I found out we were related!" Rarity blinked again. "So…you never had a crush on Applejack?" "Nope!" The unicorn waited for her to say something else, but after another moment of silence, Rarity shook her head. "I don't want to know," she mumbled. "What I wanna know is," said Applejack, "how come y'all never told us any of this before?" "Well," Rainbow said, biting her lip, "I only found out a few days ago after Twilight lent me this book and…we were kinda scared." "Why would you be scared?" Fluttershy asked. "I thought you weren't scared of anything." "We just thought you'd think we were weird." "That there was something wrong with us," Twilight added, hanging her head. "Aw, gals," Applejack said, moving between Twilight and Rainbow and putting her hooves around them. "We're yerr friends. We don't care who you're in love with or whether or not you're…active." "Applejack's right," Rarity insisted. "We love you just the way you are, even if we don't fully understand it." "Really?" Twilight asked hopefully. "Of course," Applejack replied. "And…do ya think I could borrow that book y'all were talkin' about?" Fluttershy slowly raised her hoof. "Me…too?" "And me," said Rarity. "Not because I'm questioning or anything. I just want to know more about all this." Twilight smiled. "No problem. Rainbow, the book?" "Oh," Rainbow beamed. "Uh…I kinda left it at home?" The alicorn sighed. "Of course." "Hey! It's not due until Sunday!" "It's okay," Applejack shrugged. "We can wait." "So when are you going to tell Soarin?" Rarity inquired. The blue pegasus froze. "What?" "Well, he has to know. Doesn't he have the right to know whether or not you two will ever…?" Rainbow looked at Twilight for help, but she seemed just as nervous as she was. "He is your coltfriend." The pegasus sighed in defeat. They were right. No pony else had to know, but Soarin certainly did. But if he did know, would that mean the end of their relationship? Still, she couldn't keep this from him forever. She had to tell him. "Your free throws are getting better," Rainbow told Soarin as he flew her home from their date that Saturday night. "Well," Soarin blushed, "your coaching helped." When they reached Rainbow's house, she turned to her coltfriend. "Can you come inside for a bit?" Soarin bit his lip. "You sure?" "Yeah. There's something I need to talk to you about." The color drained from his face as he grew even more nervous. "Err, okay." She opened the door for him and he hesitantly flew inside. "You know," he said, "I didn't think you'd let me in here again after last time. Actually, I didn't think you'd ever go out with me again." "Yeah," Rainbow sighed. "That's what I need to talk to you about." "Aw, man! I came on too strong, didn't I? It's okay if you wanna take it slow! Or did my breath stink? Sorry! Carrot dogs make me gassy!" "Chillax! The problem wasn't you, Soarin. It's me." He put his hoof to his head. "I know this speech. You're breaking up with me, aren't you?" "No! At least, I hope it doesn't come to that…" "What?" "Just sit down." Soarin stared at her for a moment, nodded and then lowered himself on the couch. Rainbow sat beside him, but did not make eye contact. All night, she had been wanting to tell him this, and now the time had come. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for his reaction. "The day after…our last date," she began, "I…I couldn't stop thinking about…what happened…between us." "I couldn't stop thinking about it either," Soarin admitted. "Had I really upset you that much?" "It's not your fault. I just…couldn't figure out why I couldn't go through with it, or why I hadn't thought about it before." "Dash, it's okay if you're not ready…" "That's what every pony told me, but…I had never wanted it. Not while I was dating you, not before, not with any pony. Rarity suggested I was gay…" "Oh, darn it!" Soarin exclaimed, bringing his hoof down on the couch. "I didn't believe it though. I had never been attracted to a girl. So…I didn't think that was the answer." "Oh, thank Celestia! I mean… not that that would be a bad thing! It's just you know we can't date if…" "Let me finish. I went to Twilight and she gave me a book that would help me find my sexuality. And I found…I'm not gay, but I'm…not exactly straight either." Soarin stared at her in confusion, not sure what else she could be. Rainbow took another deep breath. This was it. "I'm…ace." He blinked. "You're what?" "Ace. It's short for asexual." He blinked again. "What does that mean?" "It means…I have no sex drive. It's not like I'm sick or anything, it's just the way I was born. Like if you're gay, it's not a choice." Soarin was still confused. "So…you don't…?" "I don't wanna have sex, okay?!" Rainbow shouted in his face. "There, I said it! And I understand if you don't wanna go out with me anymore because of this, but just because we might never do it doesn't mean we can't have a relationship! And frankly, I'm kinda glad! I was worried Rarity might be right that I was gay, but that would mean I would lose you as a coltfriend! And when I found out I was ace, I was afraid of telling you and I just loved ya so much, I didn't wanna lose ya!" "What did you say?" "I said I loved ya so much, I didn't wanna…" "You love me?" "Y…" She paused and locked eyes with Soarin as realization washed over her. In all the months they had dated, that was the first time she had ever said the words out loud. "Y-yeah," she stammered, her voice barely above a whisper. "I guess…I do." The two of them were silent, her red violet eyes staring into his green ones. Only after admitting her emotions did Rainbow realize they were true. No pony had ever made her heart beat as fast as it was right now. It was like a great weight had been lifted from her. However, his silence frightened her. Did he not feel the same way? Had her confession concerning her sexuality scared him? Her answer came when he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her towards him, so their lips would meet. Rainbow Dash did not slip blissfully into the kiss, but her eyes remained open in shock. When he finally pulled away, he smiled sweetly and said: "I love you too." It was her turn to blink in confusion. "You mean you're not all freaked out about me being…?" "Freaked out? No. Surprised? Maybe. I'm just glad I didn't mess things up between us." She blinked again. "So you'd still go out with me? Even though we might never do it?" "Dash, do you honestly think that's the reason I asked you out? I asked you out because you're the coolest girl I've met. You're pretty, fun to hang out with, you've saved my life twice, and you're the only girl I know who can memorize every Daring Do book word for word and do a sonic rainboom! Not wanting sex, that's something I can totally respect." Rainbow blushed. No pony had ever called her pretty before. She had never really cared before either, but the minute he said it, she felt warm and fuzzy inside. Look at yourself, Rainbow, she thought, acting like a filly over a guy. Maybe she really did love him that much. Her smile faded as a new thought came to her. "You know…just because I don't want to…doesn't mean we'll never do it. I mean…since I've been hanging out with Scootaloo…I kinda want kids someday…" "Whoa, whoa!" Soarin exclaimed, holding up his hooves. "We only just said 'I love you' like a minute ago!" "I didn't mean right now, but…if…if you wanna do it…we…we could. I…I wouldn't mind…as long as it's you." Soarin smiled and reached out to caress her cheek. "Dash, it's okay. We can wait as long as you want to. We could date ten years and never do it, but I wouldn't care." He blushed. "I may have gotten a little carried away last week, but it was only because I was so comfortable with you, and the moment felt right. That's all I really want out of this relationship, Dashie: you." Rainbow sniffed as she wiped away a tear. "Now look what you've done. You've gotten me all sappy." She pulled him into a passionate embrace and closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of being in his hooves. She really didn't want it to end, but already he was starting to slip away. She tightened her grip on him, determined not to let him go. "You don't have to leave, you know?" she whispered. "You could…stay the night." Soarin smirked. "I thought you didn't want us to do it." "We won't have to. We could just…stay right here and…cuddle." Her cheeks turned even redder. She felt silly to even suggest a thing. "That sounds great," Soarin whispered in her ear. They readjusted themselves so they could lean back on the couch. Thankfully, it was just big enough for the two of them. Rainbow Dash smiled as she rested her head on his shoulder. It was kind of sappy, but it just felt so right. She had never thought she would ever be doing something like this with any pony. She could see her and Soarin lying like this for many nights. Not speaking, not doing anything sexual, but just enjoying each other's warmth and falling asleep in each other's hooves. For a moment, she could even see themselves married, so that they could do this every night. She shook her head slightly. The future was a long way away. She turned her focus back to the present and thought about how lucky she was to have a coltfriend who respected her wishes and loved her as much as she loved him, even if their relationship could only go this far. They remained this way for the rest of the night, and Rainbow Dash never had that horrid nightmare again.