//------------------------------// // Escape from Canterlot, Why cant it ever be easy // Story: Equestria Zero // by isjor1 //------------------------------// (Present P.O.V James Heller) Where the Frick am I? I've been wandering these halls for what seems like hours. I swear they intentionally make castle's like mazes. Even with my perfect memory these halls still go on and on. Okay if I meet disco or whatever his name was again, then I am going to kill him. This is just ridiculous. Using the power of my rage, Iface the wall and unleash my unholy wrath. "Oh look. A window. How convenient." Of course my actions didn't go unnoticed as dozens of pegasus guards appeared. "Crap. Okay look, I don't want any trouble. I just want to leave and get out of your hai err manes." The guards are still glaring at me and then one raises a f****** assault rifle. Now they are smiling at me. I smiled back. Raising my arms, I shout, "Have it your way. Bring it on!" I hate myself for saying that. They opened fired and it hurt. Thinking faster then the bullets firing at me, I decided that fighting this many guards with firearms was a bad idea. So I ran. Ah Damnit! Why did that work on me? The bullets should of bounced off. A WILD REALIZATION APPEARED. What did that circus freak do to me. Bullets continued to rain from behind me. Okay less thinking more running. I came to a sudden halt. I had ran into a dead end. I hate this castle. The sound of pounding hooves were getting closer. I had 2 options to choose from. Break another wall or fight. "I was tired of running anyway." The guards finally caught up and the ring leader spoke. "We have you cornered. Surrender now or we will open fire" "I choose option c." The leader looked amused. "C?" Swinging my arms to the side I shouted. "For claws!" ......Nothing happened. *continued awkward silence.* I started to shake my arms wildly. "Claws, Claws, Claws, COME OUT ALREADY!!!!" The guards just continue to stare at me. I'm sure one was trying hard not to snicker. "I am so sorry. I swear this has never happened to me before. Just give me a minute and I will have it working again." Okay why aren't my abilities working. Oh well. If I can't use a blade. Then I will do this the old fashion way. Faster then the guards could react. I run up to the leader, take his gun out of his hand and with all the strength i could bring up. I kick the captain in the chest with enough force to ripple the air. He was sent flying into the other guards knocking them all away and clearing my path. I sling the gun over my back and made a run for it. The guards won't be getting up anytime soon. Turning around the corner I come back to the hole I made. "Lets try this again." I jumped out and started my glide. I love gliding. Nothing can beat the feeling of the air running past my face. I will never understand why some people are afraid of falling out of the sky. The adrenaline rush feels great and its almost euphoric. I mean they will be fine if they have a parachute right. Right? Anyway back to my tale. I was gliding out of my tower and surprise surprise I landed back in the statue garden. Back to square one. But with more guards. The area was surrounded by guards and they all spotted me. Before I could even get in a fighting position I was surrounded by a pink wall. "What?' "Finally caught you Blacklight." Turning around I looked at my captor. He was the typical white guard with blue mane but that is where the similarities end. He was wearing a purple, sleeve-less metal tunic with metal plates covering his thighs and wrists. His face was glowing in confidence. Guess I just have to shatter it. Readying my self. I punch the shield. Nothing happened. He is good. "You!" *hit* nothing still happened. "Can't!" *hit* cracks started to form. The guard's face look strained "Contain!" *hit* The shield started fading slightly as more cracks appeared. "Me!" With one final swing the shield completely shatters. Dust was thrown up from the force of my swing and the shield's destruction. All I can say is that I looked like a bada** coming out of the debris. "Congratulations. You had me trapped for a few seconds. Aren't you a special one." Saying this seemed to piss of a few of the guards. Why not taunt them further. "So tell me what rank are you?" Glaring at me the guard responds, "Open fire!" Deciding I didn't want to get shot I run up to the guard and take him hostage. If I am lucky I will get away and have a little snack for the trip. "Put the guns down or this one loses a life." I had my arms locked around his head and horn ready to end him at any moment while blocking off his magic. Of course this one wants to be the sacrificial hero. He shouts,"I gave you all an order!!! Shoot him and forget about me!!" Ah so this one is the captain. Looks like this just became a test of loyalty. The guards all faltered. The looks of conflict ran across all of their faces. In the end they each dropped their weapon. Look like things are finally going right for me. Of course I spoke too soon as the bane of my existence appeared behind me with a familiar looking guard captain. I turned to address her. "About time you showed up Celestia." (1000 years ago P.O.V James Heller) Darkness is all around me. Am I floating or falling. I can't even tell. I feel nothing at all. In the darkness I am no one. I am nothing. I am everything.... Being dead or alive is irrelevant here. I stayed like this for hours just floating in the darkness when I came upon a light. It was blinding. I felt warm inside just being near it. Like I was safe. I closed my eyes in bliss. Then I started to feel something soft. I opened my eyes. I wasn't dead nor was I in some strange realm. I was laying on the ground with that strange girl staring at me. Continuing on with her description, she was wearing a red and white checkered shirt. Had a green coat and a red mane and her oversized eyes were amethyst. She opens her mouth and what comes out can only be explained as this girl being Shakespeare's b****. "Art thou well?" High school English don't fail me now. I stand up and turned to address her. I am still put off by her appearance and still can't wrap my head around her. All I know is that this is definitely not earth anymore. Dorothy be damned. As calmly as I can be, I addressed her. *high pitched voice* "I'mfineandthanksforsavingmeandpleasedon'tdisectmemissalienma'am." "Thou have a unique way of speaking." Deep breaths Nate. You need to calm down. Taking my own advise I try a second attempt at communication. "Can you understand me?" "I can. May I ask thy name." Okay she wants my name. Do I tell her the truth or make one up? On one hand she just saved me. On the other she is a total stranger who I know nothing about. Eh lets just roll with it. "I am James Heller." I stuck my hand out for her to shake. After a slight hesitation she does the same. "Annie Elizabeth Apple." Her last name is apple? Eh I heard stranger. Before I could respond the leaves and twigs on the ground started rising. "Maybe we should continue this talk later." "Agreed." And with that we started running towards the town where Annie came from. When we were a good distance away from the NOPE situation did we start talking again "Okay, can you please tell what those things were back there and what was going on." "Timberwolves. Nasty little varmints. Strike one and it will revive." "Okay now how about where are we," "On the path to my home village, Friesinatty." I would say something about that name, but I don't want to offend the girl with the giant stick and just decided to stay quiet about the name. "No, I mean where are we. What country, continent, etc." She just stares at me. "Thou art a strange one. We reside in Equestria." I give up with these names. The walk was shorter than expected as we arrived at the small farm town and I get ran over by something furry. "Run big sis! I will handle the monster!" I couldn't believe I let myself get knocked over by a munchkin. This kid was the shortest person I ever seen. His pounding on my chest only increased my annoyance. When it came to appearances, this kid was the inverse of his sister. Red coat with a green mane, blue overalls and a white t-shirt. "Adam Pearmain Apple! What has gotten into you! Hath thou forgotten thy manners!" She shouts as she pulls the brat off me.My kids will never be that wild. I make sure they behave mmm hmm. "But he was about to attack. I had to protect everyone." First visit into a town and I meet a racist. Please don't let this reflect on this place's parenting. "He wasn't going to attack our home. Now apologies to the man." I'm sorry Seriously. This kid is mumbling now. "What was that?" I'm sorry. Ann having enough of this smacks the kid upside the head. "Ah, I'm sorry, but if he isn't a monster then why does he talk funny." He is just a kid. Don't think about putting your hands around his tiny neck. Bad brain. Bad. I said stop. No get rid of the chainsaw. Don't you dare throw him into a lion pit. "Say one more rude thing and thou will not be having dinner tonight. Now return home and tell ma that we are having a guest tonight." The kid gave me one final glare and left. "I am sorry about that. Art though alright?" "You've been asking me that for a while now. And I still don't know the answer." I mean seriously. I was taken from my friends and thrown into this Equestria or whatever in the middle of no where. Was chased by a pack of wooden dogs. And was saved by some alien. Got reminded of how I failed my English class sophomore year and was attacked by said alien's little brother. How can this get any more weird. Throw the universe a bone and it will throw it back harder. There was a crash and then people started shouting. Being the curious person I am, I decided to investigate. I ran off and Anne followed shortly after. Using my well trained ears and detective skills I followed the commotion to a.... I think I am going to like this town for one reason. "This place has a bar!"