When Twilight Sparkle finally got back to her peaceful library in Ponyville, she had only Heavens to thank for the peace of mind the smell of her books and aging wood of the library brought. Well, that, and Spike; it was topped perfectly with his surprise gathering of friends he organized in advance, knowing well how tiresome the whole ordeal might be for Twilight and how much she would miss her friends. It wasn't easy putting up with both the mischievous Spirit and the surprisingly boring politics for two days, and there was nothing like some Pinkie Pie-induced fun to get her into better spirits.
Speaking of the devil, just as Twilight was about to savor the taste of a crispy, fresh lettuce sandwich prepared by Applejack herself, she felt her teeth sinking into a sponge. With an expertly practiced frown, Twilight sat up straight and gave her best annoyed sigh, trying to indicate just how annoying the trick was.
"Hey! Ah' prepared that with ma' own two hoofs! Don'cha go ruinin' ma' effort!" Applejack was the first to complain; judging by both her and Twilight's face, the prank wasn't appreciated in the least, and the Spirit had to give up.
"My oh my, I didn't know you had so little appreciation for the Royal Kitchen." The Spirit snickered as the Princess dug into her restored sandwich but she shook her head, her mouth still full as she managed to let out:
"Ah jus' din' 'ave tahm chu eet."
"An image of a true Princess, ladies and gentlecolts." Discord captioned it effortlessly, and a new photo of a sloppy Princess eater fell onto the table. Neither Spike nor Rainbow Dash succeeded in stopping a giggle and when Twilight asked the small dragon to get rid of it, he secretly held onto it, finding endless entertainment in the young Princess' bad table manners.
"So," Discord started as he descended next to Twilight, twiddling his thumbs, "have you had a chance to talk to Celly about my role in this country as a fair, kind citizen and a fellow-pony-like thing?"
"Oh. Why, yes, yes I did."
She paused, but couldn't keep quiet for long as the Spirit began to nudge her.
"So? What did she say?"
"Well..."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"He wants what?" Celestia couldn't help but blurt out, only to quickly correct herself. "I mean... Discord says he desires, a... job?"
"I really wouldn't dare to claim that nor call it such." Twilight frowned. "I suppose you know how much of a dislike he holds for both the word and the term." She paused, for the first time not entirely sure what it was that Discord desired out of the whole thing. "He just wants something to... occupy him, I suppose."
"...I see." Celestia gently tapped her chin. "Well, given that he is our ally now, I don't see why we should deprave him of something like that. Even if he did desire something so, ah," she gave it a brief pause, "common, as a job, I doubt many would rush to his aid."
"Exactly. That's why I thought, perhaps you would have an idea on what to make of his alignment with us."
"Hm." Celestia looked mildly uncomfortable but sounded a tad bit more confident once she spoke: "I can't promise anything, not anytime too soon. I'll try my best, however, to find something both suitable and, at least to some extent, enjoyable, for him." She gave Twilight a soft, even apologetic smile. "You can imagine why this would turn out a problematic task, I'm sure. I'm sorry I can't be of more help."
"Not at all!" Twilight beamed. "I couldn't think of a single thing myself... I'm sure he'll be able to appreciate your help just as much as I do. Thank you."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"... she's looking into it." Twilight said simply, not wanting him to give up on the idea though she was fairly certain Celestia herself had little to no idea on what to do about him.
"Are y'all telling me Discord wants a job or somethin'?"
Five out of seven pairs of eyes went into his direction, all ranging from doubt to disbelief. Pinkie merely looked incredibly entertained by the concept.
The Spirit huffed. "You know, a draconequus of a fine social status would have thought the closest ponies he's so far met would've had bit more faith in his image. After all this time, anyway."
"Look Disc, I don't think you exactly get the entire picture." Rainbow Dash felt obligated to explain. "It's not that we don't trust in your good intentions but you aren't exactly what one would call-"
"What Rainbow Dash here is tryin' to say, you're exactly the same as her."
"Hey!"
"Now don' be so humble, Rainbow Dash, you know as well as anyone you don't do nothin' until you must and/or at the last moment."
Rainbow opened her mouth to protest at Applejack's all too honest words, processed them for a moment, and finally gave up with a shrug. "When you put it that way, yeah." She pointed at Discord. "He's worse, though."
"Oh, without a doubt."
"That he is!" Pinkie chirped in with a giggle, only encouraging the rest to be as brutally honest.
"Well, I- I guess I'll kind of have to agree with them... Sorry..."
"Truly, for someone who claims to be of a fine social stature, you sure have little to be proud of in sense of actual accomplishments."
Much to their surprise, the Spirit looked nearly offended.
"No accomplishments?? I'm mentioned at some point in every other history book!"
"Not exactly what we-"
"Little colts and mares digest and retell the terrifying stories of ME while burning their marshmallows!"
"If that's the best you could do, I don't want to know what's the worst you could do!" Rarity offered as an off-hand comment and though it was meant to draw laughter from others, it was the straw that broke the camels' back. Before he knew it, Discord's voice suddenly grew much louder.
"I stole all your Elements, and had a very good chance of doing it again had it not been for-- !" His eyes momentarily darted towards Twilight, and it was probably a good things that they accidentally did, because in that moment he realized he'd gone a bit too far for a good taste, stepping and about to cross the boundary where a discussion would turn into a fight - something he was incredibly easily prone to doing. Now noticing tense eyes all around him, he swallowed the rest of his words and let out an exasperated breath. This was not the sort of drama he'd usually sign up for.
"... I know not most, if any of these things are held in high regard by any sort anywhere but for what it's worth, at least I did them successfully and I did them the way I wanted to, and of my own accord."
Knowing he'd lack any sort of understanding among the company, he mumbled 'I'll just go now and think about what I did or whatever' sarcastically before clicking himself away dejectedly.
They all looked at each other, not exactly sure how to feel or what to think.
"He's kind of got a point."
The six mares looked at the little dragon, again speechless. Spike, feeling more attacked by their stares rather than realizing they were all genuinely curious, quickly started to explain.
"Well it's not like he's got much else going on!" He managed, trying to avoid meeting their eyes but at the same time seeming eager to explain, even reddening in the face as he did. "The guy has power greater than anypony we know! The ways he uses them are the only genuine field where he gets to be creative for an eternity! I guess, in his words and by his, uh, idea, it's less boring than whatever we might be doing!"
Though it was a grim notion, Twilight couldn't help feeling he was right. Having been and accepting himself as nothing less than a villainous personality must've come and bit back harsh once he realized it's all he's ever been and all he's ever done, specifically now that he decided on not doing it anymore.
Still, Twilight wondered, what was it that made Spike see it? She couldn't fathom the idea that he had ever felt similarly to the chaotic Spirit. Did he find a way to connect to his experience?
"I truly didn't mean anything..." Rarity suddenly started but didn't go on. Though originally meaning to have a point, she suddenly felt guilty.
"It's alright, Rarity. I'll talk to him later. I'm sure he knew you didn't say it just to be mean." She sighed heavily. The gathering of her friends suddenly didn't feel as good as before and they ended it after another mostly quiet cup of tea, during which Pinkie Pie took it into her hooves to cheer them up with an anecdote. Though she stayed true to her Cutie Mark and managed to draw out both laughter and smiles, once each of them left the library, it left Twilight with many confusing thoughts, wondering if Discord truly was what he grew to be with her, right here in her little library, starting from the moment they first played Chess Mess and actually had a good time together,with his interaction with both her friends and citizens of Ponyville, with the way Spike nearly started seeing him as an older family member-
Oh, she suddenly realized, that must be what he is to Spike.
She did once figure Discord was much like a funky uncle to Spike. Having little to no male companions of any sort in his life was probably something he had unconsciously missed. It was no wonder he had jumped to his defense, even if it was for personal reasons. But then again, she figured, there must've been a way or a reason Spike had figured out for himself why Discord must've felt the way he did.
As they were gathering teacups and the remnants of cookies and sandwiches, she constructed the question in her mind.
"Umm, Spike?"
"Yeah?"
"How do you understand what Discord feels like?"
Though she had obviously caught him utterly unprepared with that question, she didn't expect him to blush.
"Is everything alright?"
"I just-" He didn't' really know where to look or what to say and she didn't want to put any pressure on him.
"It's okay! You don't have to tell me if it is uncomfortable to you. But, Spike, you do know you can tell me anything, right?"
"It's really stupid!" Spike defended right away and started rambling to the point where she couldn't stop him. "I mean, I guess it's not to me but otherwise it's incredibly dumb and I probably spent way too much time thinking about it but I just, I just thought-," he paused briefly, "I just thought for a while how Discord, knowing nothing but hurting others as fun -
he must be bored all the time! And, and all these things that he does with us, like, the games, the picnics, flying around with Dash, tea parties with Fluttershy, just spending time with others- simply entertaining us with, like, the shadows of what he can actually do! I really, really hope they are all as worthwhile to him as they seem to be because-," he actually had to pause and gather his cool, before he finally finished his unexpected speech: "Because I really would hate if he were doing it just because. Just because, 'momentary distractions' and 'nothing else to do'. I really hope he's as changed as he acts and says he has." He looked up at her. "I would hate it if he were suffering for our sake."
Twilight had to admit herself - she never thought for a second that could be the situation at hand. That Discord had merely settled for an 'okay' just because he felt like he had no choice, rather than breaking the rules as usual and reaching for something right within his grasp. It couldn't be. Not with everything they've been through, not with the way he looked at her, not with the way he cherished her company, the way he-
She blushed and shook it off - there were more important things at hand right in this moment, because Spike looked seriously distressed by the idea of Discord being in such a heavy dilemma with himself.
"Spike, I know it would seem that way but it's obvious that he has changed-"
"That's exactly the problem. You, me, this whole town and ponies in it - we all changed him! What if he hates it?"
"That's not true, Spike." Twilight firmly said, her words more confident than she suddenly felt. Only a few minutes ago, she would felt just as confident as she sounded. Discord would never accepted misery in face of everything he could ever have and even if he did - why would he? He had his own chaotic home and dimension to fool around in. What was it that she was not seeing?
Again, she left the thought for later examining and spoke to Spike again:
"Remember the story I told Princess Celestia about Discord and I? How we traveled into the depths of his own being? How he willingly fought the side of him that wished so much pain upon us? If there was ever a time I knew he was on our side and fighting for the ponies he liked, it was then." She nuzzled him. "So don't worry so much about it. I can promise you right now he's enjoying his life with us as much as we are enjoying it with him."
It took Spike a bit more nudging and comforting before he willingly pulled himself together, still conserned but clearly less distressed than before. Though it was all good for now, it still remained a mystery to her how in the world would she approach the draconequus about the entire thing.
Deciding patience is a virtue, she simply decided to let go for now, believing it would be best to let him return on his own, once he had some of his own thoughts to share and facts to digest. Some time alone would certainly do her some good, because the subject laid heavy on her chest, only magnified by the fact there was a whole different layer of her feelings towards him that nobody knew about and, for the time being, nobody would know.
It would be a long wait with the countless thoughts tumbling in her mind and his whereabouts unknown, so she did the best thing she knew about distracting herself, grabbing the most distracting book she could find and entered the world of imagination, quickly sinking into it but Discord never quite out of her mind.