//------------------------------// // 168. Suburban by ArguingPizza // Story: The Sun and the Stars: A Twilestia Prompt Collab // by Fuzzyfurvert //------------------------------// by ArguingPizza *** “31,519 bits for a 76% demolished home, 11,915 bits for damage to underlying bedrock underneath land being used for construction of a new housing division on the outskirts of Ponyville, 2,145 bits for untilled farmland, 112,950 bits for the Ponyville Public Library-” “Oh come on! I had no part in that one!” Twilight yelled in exasperation. Celestia paused in her reading of the rather lengthy bill. She peered down over her red-rimmed reading glasses and raised her eyebrow. “Really? Tirek found you in a random field, you didn’t think he’d find you at your home?” she asked, incredulously. “W-but I-and he-“ Twilight sputtered nonsense before she was able to sooth her outrage enough to form a coherent sentence. “I didn’t think he’d just blow it up! Who even does that?!” Celestia nodded in agreement and removed her glasses in a flourish of golden magic. “I agree it is most unusual,” she conceded, then returned to her previous firm disapproval. “However, considering that mere moments later you stood against him on even terms, could you have not saved the library without undue risk to yourself?” Twilight stared at Celestia, speechless. It took a few moments for her emotions to overwhelm her better faculties. “Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I stopped the most evil monster in history from stealing the magic from everypony and all these insurance ponies care about is the fact that we damaged a few empty buildings?!” Celestia sighed and relaxed her posture. “Twilight, sometimes we, as Princesses have to accept responsibility for things that were not necessarily in our control. Such is the burden of rule, I’m afraid.” Twilight couldn’t exactly argue with that, and her shoulders slumped in acceptance. It was annoying, but if there was one thing Twilight Sparkle was not it was irresponsible. “Okay, so what’s the damage?” Celestia picked up the papers again and shuffled them around until she came to the final page. “With the cost of the new library and an entire new selection of books, one heavily damaged home, three lightly damaged homes, and nearly a hundred other assorted claims, the total payment due is…” Twilight braced herself for the worst, fearing a number in the high seven or even eight digits. “1,008 bits.” Twilight’s jaw dropped from the outrageous sum. It was more than she could repay in a hundred lifetimes, and she was likely to live that long! She’d spend the next ten millennia working menial jobs, just trying to keep up with the interest from- “Wait, did you say one thousand and eight bits?” Celestia nodded as if she hadn’t noticed Twilight’s spiraling panic attack smash head-on into the message she had received from her own ears. “Our insurance shall take care of nearly all the damage from the fight, and Ponyville already had funds set aside for a renovation to the old library that will cover nearly all the costs of new construction. The Crown hasn’t had an insurance claim for almost three hundred years, so our deductible is only a thousand bits.” Twilight blinked as she tried to reorder her thoughts, then burst into celebration. She hopped to her hooves and embraced Celestia. “This is great! My monthly stipend will cover that!” It was true, as a Princess of the Crown Twilight received a small stipend of 1,000 bits per month. It was set to the pay of the average Equestrian worker. Technically, it was the average wage of more than a hundred years prior from when the system had been introduced, but Celestia had used hers so little the need for adjusting it for inflation had never arisen. All her needs were provided by the Palace whose budget was more than sufficient, and Celestia was always one for making gifts rather than purchasing them, being of the idea that it was indeed the thought that counts. Though saddened to have to rain on Twilight’s parade, Celestia raised her hoof in objection. “Actually, Twilight, you still fall 8 bits short.” Twilight leaned away from the embrace, befuddled. “I have savings, you know,” she replied, a little insulted. “Not all my money goes to books.” Though, aside from a small amount set aside for a rainy day, what she needed to eat, and Spike’s gem fund, most of it did, but Twilight didn’t think Celestia needed to know that. Celestia broke away from the embrace and stood up, turning her back on her former student. She turned her head back to look over her shoulder and gave Twilight a disapproving glance. “True, but I believe if you were allowed to simply pay and make it go away, you might not learn from the experience.” Twilight stood, offended. “Hey, I’m a Princess too, as you so often remind me. What’s to say I don’t just go and pay them myself,” she challenged. Celestia turned and met her halfway. “Though you may be a Princess, your name has yet to be added to the Royal Policy. As such, it is my decision to decide how you shall reimburse the Crown. Your stipend will cover most of it, yes, but the final eight bits I believe you shall work off.” Twilight furrowed her brow and approached Celestia until they were nearly nose-to-nose. “What, so you want me to wash dishes in the kitchens? Fine! Minimum wage laws say I’ll have it worked off in an hour.” Twilight raised her nose in victory, which Celestia answered with a sultry smile. “Actually,” she purred, her breath tickling Twilight’s ear, “the experience of being without my magic was quite traumatic.” Celestia circled Twilight until she had made nearly a complete rotation, coming to a stop along her right side. She leaned down to nibble on Twilight’s ear and caressed the smaller mare’s closed left wing with her own. “I had hoped Doctor Sparkle would be able to help me overcome the painful memories with her unique ‘special therapy.’” Twilight looked up at Celestia with a nearly clinical look, complimented by the red-rimmed reading glasses, which in reality were only for show, she picked up from Celestia’s desk and placed on her own face. She looked at a nonexistent watch and nodded politely. “I suppose I can fit you into my busy schedule, though we’ll have to begin right away.” Celestia smiled deviously and led the way into their shared bedroom. “I’ll have you added in the morning,” Celestia whispered, not wanting to break character. She moved away from Twilight towards the bed, leaving her to close the doors behind her. As she walked, she felt a slap on her rump and turned to see purple magic slam the oak doors shut. Twilight’s expression was anything but professional, and her voice came out husky and full of desire. “Don’t.”