//------------------------------// // Afternoon stroll // Story: Team Four Star goes to Equestria // by Linite //------------------------------// The sun was rising breaking through the dim fog left behind by the night. The cool crisp air of Canterlot was accompanied by the pleasant chirps of birds and the smell of wildflowers and lavender. One bird, a very strange looking bird, landed on the open window frame of Luna's chambers. "HAAANN!" The bird had made a god awful noise and a gun shot was quickly followed in response. "Fucking bird. Waking me up and shit." Alucard rolled out of bed and looked back to find Luna sleeping like a baby. How you might ask? Well let's just say shit got real last night and Luna was wearing noise cancelling headphones. What happened shouldn't be spoken about even at a bar surrounded by marines. "Oh how cute, she's drooling." Alucard thought for a minute then slammed his hands together. "Alright time to grab some breakfast and start this day right. Then I think I'll pay a ville for ponies a little visit." Alucard had walked out of the room and was met with a huge staircase. All that could be from the room was. "Fucking stairs!" The massive kitchen of the castle was already hard at work fixing breakfast for the now single ruler of Equestria and her 'friend' when a knock was heard on the big oak doors. "Who is it?" A chef pony asked. A voice was heard behind the door. "Oh you know." Suddenly the door was broken down showing a silhouette of Alucard. "A hungry fucking vampire!" The chef was unmoved. "Uh huh, well what'll have for breakfast?" "Oh I don't know." Alucard said moving towards a fruit bowl. "Maybe some toast. No, Pancakes. WAIT! Waffles. It definitely has to be waffles. With eggs, scrambled. And a side of bacon." The chef was disgusted at the word bacon but he had cooked for griffons before. "It'll be ready in no time." "Great." Alucard said as he headed for the door with an apple in his hand. Alucard found the dining room. Which was huge by the way. Like so big, you could probably fit half of Canterlot's population in it. And of course, being the big shot he is, Alucard sat at the head of the table. "Mmm, roomy." was all he mumbled to himself. Not more than ten minutes later one of the chefs assistants came running out with a fantastic looking breakfast and just about as fast as it got there it was already gone. "Ah, breakfast. The most important meal of the day." Alucard proceeded to toss the plate across the room like a frisbee and while walking down a long hallway he stopped by a statue of Celestia promptly giving it the double middle finger treatment as he exited the castle. As he walked down the street of Canterlot which went straight to the train station Alucard caught something out of the corner of his eye. Some mare that had pink fur, purple hair, and a blue and white checker board style neckerchief around her neck was being a serious bitch to some other mare who seemed as timid as Fluttershy. Alucard made a mental note to find her later and put her in her place. But that's for another time, this badass had a train to catch. "All aboard for Ponyville!" The conductor yelled. Alucard approached the train and a pony in a blue uniform raised his hoof up expecting payment before he would let the vampire on board. Alucard slapped the bouncer some skin in a cool fashion and proceeded onto the train. "Uh sir. Sir!" The pony couldn't get Alucards attention. "Never mind." Several ponies in the train car looked at Alucard strangely, it wasn't everyday that they saw a bipedal creature. Next to him sat a magazine which the title read 'Fancy Things'. "More like fancy shit." Alucard stated out loud. The train screeched to a halt in Ponyville station with Alucard exiting the car and stretching from the cramped space. He was a tall fucker after all. "Man they really fixed this place up. I'm gone for two days and everything's back to normal." Alucard walked down the main street of Ponyville continuing to get weird stares from the ponies in the surrounding area. One of them had the nerve to bump into Alucard and say, "Watch where you're going!" Alucard firmly pimp slapped the pony into a building and continued his walk. He could see the library where he threw one hell of a party but decided it would be best to avoid that for the time being. He moved on to a place called 'Carousel Boutique' and let himself in. "Knock knock. Anybody home?" Alucard asked looking around the shop. Rarity came trotting in from the next room and almost fell over at the sight of so much red on Alucard. "Darling...You're very...red." "Thanks, I know. It helps hide the blood stains." Alucard responded. "Yes well, I think I can help you-" Rarity was cut off. "I just wanted to know what was in hear before I burned this place to the ground." "Do what?" Rarity was almost laughing. "Burn it down?" Alucard questioned. "Burn it down!?" Alucard nodded. "Burn it down." The crimson fucker was walking away with the boutique set a blaze behind him. Off to the right Rarity and Sweetie Belle sat shocked, not at the fact of the fire, but at how fast Alucard had caused it. It was noon at this point and the vampire not quite yet on a rampage stopped for a quick bite to eat. Of course just to screw with the waiter he left a bit in the bottom of a full glass of Mr. Pibb. Like it mattered though, he just set the place on fire anyways. What's that? This doesn't make any sense? It's Alucard! It doesn't have to make sense! After easily getting Rainbow Dash's cloud house on the ground and stomping on Fluttershy's flower garden he found another shop that had a cupcake on the sign above the door. "Mmmm, I do like cupcakes around here." Alucard stated as he walked into the shop. Mrs. Cake stood behind the counter. "What can I get cha?" Alucard returned this with a cheerful smile. After a hasty escape and arms full of cupcakes, Alucard ran down an ally way laughing hysterically with the Cakes yelling in his direction and, cursing Alucards existence, they turned back to their bakery.....which was on fire. Downing all the cupcakes easily and now feeling the rush of sugar in his system Alucard continued on his way and was passing through the park. It was pristine and quiet, or at least until he heard random gibberish coming from up in a nearby tree. "Captain's log, day two. I am still unaware of my current location." Alucard almost died of laughter when he saw Pinkie Pie sitting up in the tree. She had bloodshot eyes and was talking to a coconut. "Pinks, you okay?" Alucard asked almost instantly getting a response. "Oh yeah, I'm fine. I'm just talking to my new friend." She replied. After a moment of silent thought Alucard replied. "Cool. You might want to held on over to the bakery. Someone committed cupcake genocide." Without even a second thought or hesitation Pinkie seemed to disappear in a cloud of smoke with a pink blur heading into Ponyville. "What an addict." Alucard said as he continued his walk. He was now heading towards the Golden Oaks Library. He thought about stopping by Applejack's farm but that wasn't exactly in Ponyville. Not to mention that Alucard only considered her to be a background pony. Upon arrival of the library he crouched outside the window to see if Twilight was home. She wasn't. "Oh man. It's too easy." Alucard said with a smile. He didn't want to burn down the library, at least not yet, but he did want to fuck with Twilight. Having OCD sure had to suck for her. Alucard picked the lock on the door since he had ninja lock picking skills that he didn't tell anyone about and walked inside. It was completely normal. Spike had cleaned the whole place so well that you wouldn't even know that the greatest party ever to come to Ponyville let alone Equestria had been held there. Alucard sighed looking around. "Spike. You need help." With that Alucard quickly got to work pillaging Twilights library. He burned several books while the rest he hid in retarded places like the refrigerator or under the sink. Next he headed up to Twilights room and took all the scrolls he could find and wrote stupid messages in them. Dear Twilight Sparkle, A handsomely devilish vampire named Alucard was not here. Sincerely, The Crimson Fucker He even left death threats. He was already this far in, why stop now? Dear Twilight Sparkle, I wanted to inform you of your immanent demise. You're also out of milk. Better get Spike on that. Sincerely, Alucard The Crimson Fucker With this he turned all the pens and pencils on the desk different ways and headed down the stairs making sure to tilt every painting on the way down. As he hit the door he turned around and smiled deviously at his accomplishments and headed towards the train station, donkey punching anypony that stood in his way or was even in his general path. The day was over. Ponyville was once again in ruin. But Alucard knew that by the next day everything would be back to normal and he'd only have to come back and do it again. God he loved this place.