Archaeological Adventures

by Forderz


On the Dangers of Pyschomagical Techniques

“Worthless. Ugly. Hideous! Opal, what was I thinking last night?” Rarity levitated each sketch in front of her and greeted each design with a frown that deepened further and further. “These outfits aren't fit for a pauper, let alone a bride! Pearl and cream vertical stripes? How tacky!” The purple maned unicorn released her hold on the small stack of papers above a waste bin, and glanced at her cat. Opal licked her small paw and gave out a single meow. “You’re quite right Opal! You can’t have success without failure, I know, but I wish that failure wasn’t this... foul.” With a final grimace at the basket of unsalvageable drawings, she returned to her workbench.

Last night certainly had been productive, after a fashion. While she hadn’t made any progress on a bridal gown she had been commissioned to design and make for some high-class Canterlot pony Fancypants had referred her too, she had put the finishing touches on some of her more casual dresses, and had made wonderful headway on a suit that had been giving her trouble for a few days.

Rarity shook her head. It was time to focus on the day ahead! The ivory-coated mare quickly cleaned up her workspace, gathering up bits of thread, scattered needles, and discarded gemstones from the night before, and entered her kitchen. Opening the fridge, she grabbed a bottle of milk and poured it into a dish for Opal, who appeared out of nowhere and began greedily lapping up the liquid. “You’re very welcome, dear.” Rarity then set about making herself a light breakfast of orange juice and toast.

Rarity was buttering her toast when a loud knocking on her door nearly caused her to drop her knife. “The store’s not open for another half-hour, dear! I’m still getting ready!” she called out over her shoulder. Somepony better have a fashion emergency, knocking on my door this early!

“Rarity! It’s me!” Twilight Sparkle’s excited voice returned. “I have something you just won’t believe!” With a small sigh, Rarity left her plate and glass on the counter and trotted over to the front door. She put on her best smile and opened the door.

“Twilight, such a pleasure! What brings yo-”

The door had barely opened a crack when her purple friend barreled through, a gleeful expression on her face, a letter floating behind her, caught in the mare’s magical field. “The Dusty Ruin has personally requested us to accompany him on his latest expedition! Can you believe it?!” Twilight’s smiling face filled up almost the entirety of Rarity’s vision, both front hooves resting on her shoulders.

Rarity gently pushed her friend back, and cleared her throat. “Ahem, yes. Forgive me for showing my ignorance, but who exactly is this Dusty Road gentlecolt and why does he want you and I to accompany him?” The smile was replaced by a look of complete shock on Twilight’s features as Rarity spoke.

“You don’t know who Dusty Ruin is?” Rarity noticed her friend grow thoughtful for a moment before continuing. “I guess I just assumed that everypony knew about the greatest archaeologist alive.”

“Not all of us share your scholarly pursuits, dear.” Rarity answered flatly. She motioned for Twilight to follow her into the kitchen. “Care to enlighten me over breakfast? What would you like?”

“Absolutely, Rarity, and don’t worry about me, I’ve already ate.” The two mares sat down at the small table, Rarity absently gathering her cooling toast and orange juice from the counter. Twilight cheerily continued: “Dusty Ruin, head of the Royal Archaeological Society, is the foremost expert on nonpony ruins and artifacts in Equestria! Much of the Canterlot Museum’s recent acquisitions were his responsibility, and the papers he writes, it’s like you’re exploring the ruins with him! He’s so handsome and smart and-”

Rarity felt her attention began to wane, and came to the realization that if she didn't do something soon, she was going to get an extra hour or so of beauty sleep. “Twilight, darling,” she interrupted, waiting for her friend to inhale for another few seconds of extolling Dusty Ruin’s virtues before doing so. “I’m sure this fine, upstanding anthropologist has many more charming and attractive qualities, and I’d love to hear more about him some other time, but I do have a business to run, so could you skip to the part where he wants you and I to accompany him?”

Twilight stared at Rarity, blinked, and blushed a bit. “Oh!” The unicorn looked away for a second before replying: “I guess I can get a little carried away sometime, huh?” Rarity nodded, chewing her toast. Twilight cleared her throat and quickly continued. “It’s not just the two of us he wants, he has requested the assistance of all the Elements of Harmony! He mentioned in his letter that he believes we, the Elements, are the key to uncovering the secrets to the Tomb of the Fallen Star!” Twilight spoke the last words with a dramatic flourish, Rarity noted.

Her librarian friend clearly expected some sort of recognition from Rarity. I do hate having to disappoint her. The dressmaker sat in her chair and brought her glass to her lips, sipping her orange juice. “Come again?” she deadpanned.

Energy and enthusiasm seemed to leak out of Twilight. “You don’t know about the Tomb either?” Twilight voice was tinged with a small amount of annoyance and a large portion of disbelief. “It’s as if you aren't even interested in ancient history!”

Rarity finished her juice and levitated the empty glass over to the sink. “There’s a reason why they call it ancient history, Twilight.” The mare she was addressing shrunk a bit in her chair, eyes downcast.

“Does this mean you don’t want to go?”

Rarity paused before answering, thinking. I don’t want to outright refuse Twilight, but I do have an awful lot in my mane recently. How can I justify disappointing my clients for some foalish wish fulfillment? Rarity mentally chided herself. This is Twilight, for goddess’ sake! The best friend a pony could ask for, and a better one than I deserve, to be honest. She sighed, knowing she’d likely regret this decision later.

“Twilight, I can tell that this means a lot to you, but I think I’ve made it clear that it means nothing to me.” Twilight looked heartbroken, but Rarity continued to speak before the other mare could interject. “That does not mean I’m not willing to do this for you. How about you gather up the other girls and tell us exactly why this has gotten you so excited, later in the day? Around five, perhaps?” Rarity put a genuine smile on her face, trying to comfort her friend.

Twilight was still for a few seconds, likely letting the words sink in, before smiling broadly at Rarity. “That’s a great idea! We can make it a history lesson! I’m sure you’ll understand just what this means to me, no, to Equestria after that!” She stamped her hooves in anticipation. “I can get Spike to create a timeline and I can bring out the photographs and-”

Tuning out the ecstatic Twilight, Rarity began to half-magic/half-push her out the kitchen and out her door. This mare could get as crazy as Pinkie, given the right stimulation! Twilight didn’t seem to notice as she was herded towards the door, busily narrating exactly how she would be educating her friends later tonight. Rarity spoke loudly over the chattering librarian, “Yes, dear, I know, I *grunt* can’t wait either. Can’t come soon enough, I agree! *huff* See you later tonight!” Rarity shut her door as soon as Twilight was through, panting as she leaned against it.

What had she agreed to?

-----

The day passed quickly for Rarity, as she not only had her commissions to work on, but a few Ponyvillians who still trusted her to fix the tears in their garments stopped by and gave her some quick repair jobs to do as well. Her reputation around Equestria was well-respected, but ever since that disastrous fashion show she had put on for Hoity-Toighty, the locals had unfairly deemed her fashions far too impractical for even the ritziest of Ponyville events.

By the time four o’clock rolled around, the fashionista was mentally worn out, and she found herself actually looking forward to Twilight’s lecture/get-together. Spike was an excellent cook, despite his age, and the occasional ramblings of the librarian unicorn had, in the past, set Rarity’s eyelids to drooping more than once. Yes, she could spend the night with good company, good food, and a good rest!

Rarity trotted up to the gigantic tree that doubled as both the town’s library and as Twilight’s home, and knocked twice, politely, on the door. A muffled feminine yell penetrated the door, which Rarity assumed was Twilight yelling at Spike to get the door. Sure enough, a few moments later, she heard the distinct sound of claw meeting floorboard before the door opened, revealing a tiny dragon dressed in a chef’s hat and apron, with an annoyed look on his face that melted as soon as he saw who had knocked on the door.

“Rarity! You’re early!” Spike exclaimed as he gave a quick bow that sent his hat tumbling to the floor.”Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course,” he quickly added, as he stepped out of the doorway.

“A gentledragon knows that a lady is never early nor late,” Rarity replied as she magicked her scarf from around her neck to a hook next to the door. Stepping into the warm abode, her nostrils were greeted with an almost intoxicating aroma of cinnamon and ginger. “Oh my, Spike,” she said as she breathed deeply, “You’ve really outdone yourself. Is that pumpkin pie I smell?”

Spike quickly closed the door to keep the brisk autumn wind from disturbing the books and papers that were littered around the edges of the library’s main room. “It is! And it’s one of my better ones, for sure. I’ve got to take the quiche out the oven, too!” The little dragon picked up his hat and set it on his head as he walked back to the kitchen. “Make yourself at home, Rarity!”

Easier said than done, Rarity thought as she took a closer look around. The centre of the room was clear, but everywhere else was covered with open books and loose papers. Rarity walked over to one of the pages and read. The Historical Significance of the Embalming Techniques of the Aaminan Priesthood? Rarity moved to another: Mystery or Myth? Zebrican Legends. Giving an unladylike snort, Rarity flopped to the ground. “And here I was, thinking that this might actually be interesting.” At least the food would be good.

Rarity had started to wonder where the furniture had disappeared to when Twilight’s voice carried through the door to the basement. “Spike, was that one of the girls? I’m not ready yet!”

Spike’s voice echoed from the kitchen. “It’s Rarity! She’s ear- I mean she’s right on time!”

“It’s barely four! I thought I had at least another half hour to finish up! Did you let her in?”

“Of course I let her in! What kind of dragon do you think I am?”

“What’s she doing?”

“Waiting for you to come up!”
“You know, Twilight, you could just ask me what I’m doing.” Rarity was careful to project her voice without yelling, unlike her unrefined friends. Twilight and Spike were feeding off each other’s bad habits, talking as if they were the only two present. A lifetime spent together would do that, Rarity supposed.

The threads of magic in the centre of the room were pulled tight, and then a loud ‘pop’ next to her announced Twilight’s arrival. “-orry, Rarity! It’s usually just me and Spike.” Twilight’s effortless teleportation, among other things, was a point of pride for the purple mare, but Rarity wouldn’t trade her fashionability for anything.

“Not to worry, Twilight. I’ve been keeping myself entertained by reading these riveting articles.”

Twilight Sparkle looked down at the scholarly papers around Rarity, absently blowing a lock of her indigo mane away from her face. “Wow, just the abstract catches your attention? I thought you said you didn’t enjoy academic journals?” Her face scrunched up in confusion.

Rarity gave Twilight a flat stare before standing up. “It sounds like you’re a little behind schedule. Is there anything I can do to help?”

A warm smile spread over Twilight’s face. “Of course! Could you get the spare blankets and pillows from downstairs? I still need to find the easel I’ll be using during the presentation. Than-” Twilight disappeared in a flash mid-sentence, and Rarity could hear her hoofsteps above on the second floor.

An easel? Pillows and blankets? What exactly did Twilight have planned? Rarity opened the door to the basement as she trotted over it, noticing an audible creak as she did so. Apparently Twilight didn’t use the door enough to either notice or care about it’s condition.

The basement was as open as the floor above, with a wide staircase hewn into the rock the cellar was carved from. Rarity couldn’t fathom how some of the many scientific apparatuses strewn around and atop the many tables and desks would be used, nor could she offer an explanation to the stocks, complete with manacles, that dominated the very centre of the room. Through the open door, she heard Twilight ask Spike about a book on pyrotechnics, and the fashionista decided it was better if she didn’t think too hard about what exactly Twilight did down here.

The pillows were found attached to a giant... catcher’s mitt, was Rarity’s best guess, and the blankets were being used to cushion some sort of incubator, which looked luckily unused. Gathering them up, Rarity beat the dust out of both sets of items as she followed them up the stairs and back to the main floor.

In Rarity’s absence, Twilight had found her easel as well as a worn out couch that promised very little lumbar support, from the look of it. Twilight herself was at the balcony above, arranging what appeared to be covered display cases around the edges of the room, which had been cleared away of the books and scrolls that had been littering it before. “Perfect, Rarity! You can put those behind the couch, for now. They’re just a precautionary measure in case my presentation goes long.”

Rarity’s eye twitched. “Darling, it’s not even five! Just how long is this scheduled to take?” She dutifully placed the pillows and blankets into neat folded piles behind the couch.

“Well, depending on how many questions you all have, and with a few minutes tacked on to account for any technical difficulties, you should all be caught up and ready to make an informed decision around 1:37am!” Twilight’s smile oozed sincerity.

Remember, Rarity, she grew up surrounded by academics. “That sounds positively delightful, Twilight,” said Rarity as she walked up the stairs to Twilight. “But do you really think Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash will be even capable of being lectured to for that long?”

“Don’t you worry about those two,” replied Twilight with a exaggerated wink. “I’ve got a secret weapon in my arsenal!” She proudly levitated a green book in front of Rarity. “Droning Hum’s Directions on Delivering Dominant Dissertations! It’s filled with tips on how to engage your audience!”

If there was one thing Rarity could be more sure of than Celestia rising the sun each morning, it was Twilight’s total and complete trust in the written word, provided it was peer-reviewed, of course. Any disagreement with one of her guidebooks would be stopped with her unhealthy faith in manuals and self-help texts. Twilight was going to do things by the book, no matter how much anypony begged and pleaded. “What sort of... tips?” she dared to ask.

“Oh I think it’s best if everypony’s surprised, Rarity. I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you.”

Rarity could feel the steel trap snapping close around her. This is going to be a very, very long night.

-----

In short order, the rest of the group arrived. Applejack sauntered in first, not bothering to remove her trademark Stetson hat as she gave a hearty “Howdy, y’all!” before settling in at the kitchen table. The freckled orange mare worked hard all day at her orchard, and as a result rarely let her blond mane and tail free from the hairband that constrained them both.

Rainbow Dash literally crashed through the door next, which was an improvement over her usual entrances into the library. Rarity had, many times, tried to turn Rainbow’s distinctive, multi colored mane from its customary tussled mess into something presentable, but Rainbow Dash’s rough lifestyle and job as Ponyville’s weathermare would quickly reverse any changes she made.

Only Spike heard Fluttershy’s quiet knocks on the door, and let the demure pegasus in. The timid mare kept half her face hidden behind her soft, pink mane, as was her custom. Rarity always thought that letting a borderline hermit have a job as a forest warden on the edge of a small town might be a case of the Ministry of Cutie Mark Career Matching(MCMCM) doing their job a bit too well. Rarity had made it a bit of a mission of hers to bring Fluttershy out of her comfortable, lonesome shell.

Nopony was quite sure when or how exactly Pinkie appeared, the pink earth pony simply joining the conversation at the table with her trademark giggles and laughter. The baker’s apprentice had proven to the entire town that sometimes, it was best not to ask too many questions, especially ones like: “Where did that canon come from?” and “How did you get into my home?” when Pinkie was involved.

The food proved to be as delicious as Rarity had imagined, and the table was filled with cheerful talk and idle chatter about the day. Soon everypony was stacking their dishes in the sink and trotting back out into the main room.

“So what’s all this gear lying about for?” asked Applejack as the orange mare took in her surroundings, eyebrow arched. “I thought this was just a little get-together so you could tell us about this Dirty Roads fella’.”

“Yeah,” chimed in Rainbow Dash, circling above one of the display cases. “What are you hiding under these sheets?” The sky-blue pegasus bent her head down to tear away the offending fabric in question, but Twilight’s magenta aura quickly formed around the case, holding the sheet down. Rarity noticed the easel sagging under the vast weight of slides placed upon it.

“All will be revealed in time, students.” The librarian answered. Rarity almost choked on the cryptic tone Twilight used. As she passed by Twilight, Rarity heard her mutter under her breath. “Step one: Enigmatic engagement, check.”

Rainbow shrugged. “Whatever.”

I hope Twilight gets at least five minutes to talk before this falls apart, thought Rarity as she and the others settled onto the couch.

As soon as everypony was comfortable, Twilight blinked out of the room, and the shutters on each window in the room closed tight, cloaking the room in darkness. A thumping bassline began to play, steadily increasing in volume. Fluttershy gave a squeak of fear, and Rarity could barely make out Pinkie reaching behind the couch and somehow producing a bag of popcorn.

“This is going to be good!” said Pinkie as she buried her muzzle into the bag.

Applejack’s posture had stiffened immediately as the room darkened, and the farmer was already rising to her hooves when Spike’s voice filled the room, magically increased in volume.

“Fillies and... mares, welcome to this one-of-a-kind educational event! Tonight, you very lucky ponies will have the unique opportunity to learn anything and everything you need to know about the illustrious Dusty Ruin!” Rarity noticed coloured smoke begin to creep into the room as the dragon very enthusiastically delivered his introduction. “Each and every one of your senses will be dazzled and overwhelmed as you take a mystical journey deep into the history and accomplishments of this incredible living hero of Equestria.” A spotlight turned on and focused at the top of the stairs, and Rarity, mouth agape, turned her attention towards the beam of light. “There is only on pony in Equestria besides Dusty Ruin himself qualified to deliver this awe-inspiring presentation.” Spike continued, “Introducing the one, the only, Twiliiiight Sparkle!”

Twilight appeared in a puff of purple smoke, wearing a truly hideous tweed jacket, complete with elbow patches and a ridiculous bow tie, and holding a black, tapered stick in her jaws. Her normally straight hair had been corralled into a bun, and she wore thick black glasses that Rarity knew were just for show. She trotted down the steps, spotlight following her movements, a look of fierce determination on her face. The music stopped when she arrived at the easel, and she did a quick turn towards the couch, spitting out the stick and asking a single question as she stopped. “Who’s ready to learn?”

Rarity sat, frozen in shock. Oh Celestia, what did you DO, Twilight? She spared a quick glance at her companions on the couch: Applejack looked confused, Pinkie Pie enraptured, Rainbow was stomping her hooves to the ground, and Fluttershy seemed completely terrified. Rarity discovered her mouth hanging open, and promptly shut it.

“When we’re finished here, you five will rival myself in knowledge of Dusty Ruin’s accomplishments.” The mare paced from side to side in front of the easel. “Tonight, you are not ponies of Equestria. Tonight, you are not farmers, bakers, or clothiers. You are not weathermares or forest wardens. You are students!” Twilight suddenly turned to face the couch. “And what, Pinkie, do students do?”

The pink earth pony was quivering in excitement. “Learn!”

“Correct!” Twilight spun yet again, this time towards the cards that laid upon the easel. “I trust you all to remain focused and attentive as we begin our journey nearly thirty years ago, when Dusty was barely out of university and struggling to find a place for himself in Equestria.” The blank card on top of the pile was tossed aside, revealing a portrait of a handsome young stallion, a little younger than Twilight. “All he had to his name was his degree in-” The lecturing librarian suddenly stopped and looked around. “Spike!” she screamed, “Music! Lasers!”

“Sorry!”

Rarity leaned her head against the couch and let the bass shake through the room.

-----

The morning- midday?- light streamed through a gap in Rarity’s curtains, awakening her as it crept slowly across the room. With a groan, she tumbled out of bed, missing her slippers and collapsing into a heap on the floor. Rarity couldn’t remember coming home, only a blaring mess of light and sound that gave her a headache just attempting to recall what had happened last night. With a sigh, she untangled herself from her bedsheets and rose to her hooves, slowly making her way to the bathroom.

Careful to avoid the mirror, she turned on the tap to her tub and fell into its warm embrace, the gentle stream of water creating the most soothing of white noise to distract her from the nightmare that still inhabited her mind. Lasers, smoke, bad techno and the screaming encouragement of Rainbow and Pinkie all disappeared into the steamy haze of a nice, long bath. Rarity knew, now, how Dusty Ruin felt when he finally arrived at the fabled Springs of Restoration, weary and tired after being hounded by those who wanted to keep its restorative powers to themselves. She absently pored some salts into the water. She might not have Lotus’ or Aloe’s skill in relaxation, but she knew enough to please herself.

Wait. Rarity’s eyes snapped open. Springs of Restoration? Did Twilight’s ‘lecture’ actually work? Don’t be silly Rarity, you had to pick up something in seven hours worth of loud noises and flashing lights. Rarity let her head sink into the warm, bubbly waters. She’d do her best to forget last night. She’s busy herself in her orders, lose herself in the patterns of the life she loved so much, and forget all about Twilight’s crazy idea. Just like the sheik of Alfalfa, cursed to repeat the same actions day after day, before being cured of his affliction by the famed Milk of Ilysamare, dam of the Himallamas. Milk brought to him, of course, by the esteemed Dusty Ruin, archaeologist extraordinaire.

The unicorn bolted out of the tub, chest heaving. Rarity barely had the presence of mind to wrap her mane in a towel before dashing down the stairs, dripping everywhere. Opal let out a hiss of displeasure as she sat in front of her empty food dish, but Rarity ignored her as she raced through the kitchen and out the back door.

A chill autumn wind did nothing to slow the frantic unicorn as she raced down ponyville’s streets. Rarity ignored the questioning stares and tentative salutations the townsponies gave her, focused entirely on the rapidly approaching treehouse she had spent last night being tortured in. What did she do to me? I can’t get that stupid stallion out of my head! Everywhere she looked, one of Dusty Ruin’s accomplishments arrived, unbidden, into her mind. The statue of Celestia in the town square gave rise to Dusty’s discovery of an underground cult that worshipped ancient stone carvings in a decrepit temple.A fiery red mane on one of the ponies selling goods at a stall conjured images of Dusty Ruin’s perilous trek inside a volcano, hot on the trail of the Amulet of Ouroboros.

She had crossed the town square and was bolting down Ponyville’s main avenue when a sudden force bowled Rarity over, knocking the air out of her lungs and sending her tumbling to the ground. She looked up from the ground as a gust of wind blew the dust created by the collision away, revealing a very familiar pony to Rarity.

“Applejack!” Rarity cried, getting to her hooves. The farmer was already up, looking around the street for her hat. Rarity spotted it halfway down the street already, and quickly used her magic to grab it before it could be blow further away.

“Afternoon, Rarity. Ah apologize for bumpin’ into ya. I’ve been... distracted.”

The unicorn brought her earth pony friend her hat before answering. “I should have been watching where I was going as well, dear. I think I know what’s on your mind as well.”

Applejack locked eyes with Rarity. “Twilight?”

“Twilight.”

Grabbing her hat from Rarity’s magical field and setting it on her head in a practiced flip, Applejack ran down the street towards the library. Rarity didn’t need to say any more either.

In moments, the duo was at the door, and Applejack was not known for the quietness of her greetings. “Twi’! Git out here! You got some explaining to do.”

Rarity felt compelled to add a polite “Please don’t keep us waiting!” to her companion’s command, but stood as rigid as Applejack, staring at the door. A few moments passed, and she began to wonder just how badly she looked. She had lost her towel somewhere between Carousel Boutique and here, and hadn’t bothered with the most rudimentary of beatification techniques. Perhaps a disheveled Rarity would impress upon Twilight the gravity of the situation.

The elegantly carved candle in the door disappeared as Twilight opened it, a cheerful grin on her face. “Hello girls! Come with an answer already?”

That grin quickly disappeared as the two mares standing outside rushed in, forcing Twilight to quickly dart back as Rarity slammed the door shut behind her. “What did you do t’ us?” demanded Applejack.

“What?” Twilight shrank back.

“Don’t play games with us, Twilight.” Rarity leaned in close and locked her eyes onto Twilight’s. “What did you cast on us!?”

The purple unicorn shook her head and narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t cast anything on you two! What are you two talking about?”

Rarity didn’t answer, but instead turned to Applejack. While she embodied the Element of Generosity, her orange friend represented the Element of Honesty, and could sniff out a lie with nearly unerring precision. Giving Twilight a long, hard look, Applejack eventually dropped her gaze. “Well if you didn’t, somepony... or dragon... must of! Where’s Spike? I got to introduce him to two of my good friends!” She bucked the empty air to empathize her point.

“Spike is far too young to use any dragon magic, let alone anything that would affect a grown pony for more than a few hours!” Twilight began to rise back up, and Rarity took a few steps back. “Again, what is going on? You two aren’t yourselves!”

“Ever since your wacky show last night, ah can’t get that stupid Dusty Ruin outta my head!” Applejack took on a desperate tone. “Every tree ah buck reminds me of some priceless antique he dug up! Ah tried to ignore it, ah did! But it’s impossible! The sheep’s woolly coats remind me of the snow of the Griffon Kingdoms!” Desperation turned to fear. “Every rock! Every barrel! Every creak of muh own home sets muh mind a’ racin’ to some storm wracked ship he was on!”

Rarity knew that Applejack was an early riser, and to last through this agony since breakfast would be torturous, at best. “I couldn’t even take a relaxing bath without that scoundrel running through my head! I can’t imagine what it has done to you, Applejack!” She gave her friend a comforting nuzzle. Rarity felt Applejack turn to look at Twilight, and did the same.

“You... you’re both experiencing uncontrollable flashes of information?” Twilight asked, head cocked to one side.

“Yes!” both answered.

“About Dusty Ruin, and only Dusty Ruin?”

“Yes!”

Twilight began to stamp her hooves in excitement. “And you can recall every incident clearly?”

“YES!”

Nearly hopping with glee, Twilight floated a book out from a bookshelf. “I can’t believe it worked so well!” Levitating in front of Twilight was the book Rarity had been shown last night: Droning Hum’s Directions on Delivering Dominant Dissertations. “My first time using his techniques, and I emulate one of his greatest lectures! I wonder how my next lecture will top this!” She closed her eyes, lost in bliss.

Rarity was not about to let the mare enjoy herself when she felt so miserable herself. She bet Applejack felt similarly. “There won’t be a next time, Twilight. Whatever you did with that book, its... not natural.

“Burn it.”

At Applejack’s callous statement, Twilight snapped out of her daze. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“Ah would. If you didn’t cast any spells on us, then all this is a result of that evil book!”

“It’s not evil! How can a book be evil? That doesn’t even make sense! It’s just psychomagical teaching tools! ”

“It has us possessed, Twilight! Unwanted visions and memories! It’s positively dreadful!”

“Nothing is possessing you! There are no such things as possessions! If you two crazies,” Twilight shot back, eyes rolling around their sockets to illustrate the point. “Would just calm down I’m sure we could work out a solution.”

Rarity didn’t really believe she was playing host to a spirit, but she did want Twilight to feel guilty instead of pleased. She turned to her similarly-stricken friend.

“Well shoot Twi’, ah’d never think about hurting one of yer books. Ah know how much you care for ‘em.” Rarity sometimes believed she cared about them a little too much, but this wasn’t the time to voice her thoughts on that subject. “Whatever ‘techniques’ that book taught you, well, there’s gotta be a way to un-teach em.”

Rarity nodded her head in agreement. “Imagine if your thoughts were suddenly invaded. A private moment, rudely interrupted by visions of some pony you know, well, it feels like I know everything about him, I think...” Rarity trailed off, hoof on her chin. Dusty Ruin’s favourite colour was a cool aquamarine, she knew, and his preferred dish was smoked almonds in a caramel glaze.

Twilight stopped protectively hugging her tome, and stood up. “I guess I got a little carried away,” she said, a sheepish grin on her blushing face. “And the preface did caution on the use of his techniques outside academia.” She set the book on a nearby table and flipped it open. “Lets see what it says about reversing the effects of a lecture.”

Applejack looked to Rarity, and Rarity stared back. “Ya didn’t check this before ya decided to test it out on all’ve us, first?” she questioned in a low drawl.

“I only read the relevant parts! I had to save some time to practice!” Twilight’s tone was defensive.

Huffing under her breath, Rarity said, “I suppose it doesn’t matter now, darling. What does it say?” She leaned over Twilight’s shoulder and the pages of the book flipped by, stopping close to the end.

“Hmmm...” Rarity ignored Twilight’s vocalizing, and visions of Dusty Ruin poring over ancient texts, and read.

I, Droning Hum, have seen little use for this particular section of my guide. It is my humble, yet expert, opinion that any proper and judicious use of this treatise will not warrant the use of any reversing, rescinding, or revoking of the knowledge shared. However, there is a remote but nevertheless possible chance of some sort of layabout sneaking around where they are not wanted nor welcom-

“Here it is.” Twilight looked up from the page.

“I can’t believe you can stomach this writing, Twilight. It’s rather dry.”

“Look here.” She circled a paragraph with a bit of magic. It was far down the page, almost to the end. I should learn how to read as quickly as she does, thought Rarity.

If you, esteemed lecturer and pony of sound and rational mind, think it necessary to remove whatever information is ingrained into the brains of your enraptured audience, then take heed of the following:
Firstly, do not give any more lectures on the subject, and, to be safe, give no more lectures at all to the individuals in question.
Secondly, interrogate your charges profusely on the subject in question.
Thirdly your objective in the lecture must be fulfilled.

“Well that sounds downright simple! All we gotta do is suffer through some questions, not experience anythin’ like last night ev’r again, and, uh, whats that last one mean?” Applejack squinted in thought.

Remembering Twilight’s words from last night, Rarity answered. “We need to come to an informed decision concerning our intentions towards Dusty Ruin’s proposal, if I’m not mistaken.”

Quickly nodding her head, Twilight readily agreed. “I can whip up a comprehensive oral exam on our way through Ponyville.”

“Why can’t we just do it right here?” Applejack asked, rubbing her chin.

“Well, I bet the others want Dusty Ruin out of their head too.”

Rarity blinked, then looked to Applejack in horror. “Fluttershy! She’s probably petrified!” The cowpony wasted no time, and was out the door before Rarity finished speaking. She turned back to Twilight before chasing after Applejack. “Write that questionnaire, now!” She didn’t wait to see if Twilight did as she was told.

-----

Rarity had always known Applejack to be fast, and she worked long, brutal hours at her orchard. Rarity, in contrast, had spent recent years not exactly lazing about, but not being particularly concerned with physical fitness. She kept herself trim and attractive, but she wasn’t jokingly teased about being a marshmallow purely because of her coat. Right now, however, she regretted not keeping up with the more strenuous exercises of her youth. By the time the pair arrived at Fluttershy’s cottage, sweat had drenched the fashionista, and her breath was ragged and laboured. Applejack, annoyingly, looked (and smelled) completely normal.

Fluttershy’s cottage was half a burrow, with a sod roof that was coated in living grass. Every window has a bush growing in its sill, and the hill it was built upon was riddled with dens and warrens, perfect for burrowing forest friends, of which Fluttershy had many. Every tree around the house was burdened with multiple birdhouses, and the stream that flowed through her property always teemed with fish and other aquatic creatures. Rarity appreciated nature in all its forms, but one pet was more than enough for her.

Crossing the bridge, the pair galloped to the home’s wooden red door. “Fluttershy? Are ya in there?” Applejack demanded, knocking strong enough to cause the door to visibly flex inward. “Fluttershy!”

Raising a hoof, Rarity stopped her friend. “We’ll never... hear her... if you... insist... on being so... loud.” she gasped, sucking in air.

Applejack lowered her hoof. “Ah suppose yer right, Rarity.” She looked around, adjusting her hat as she did. “Ya see an open window somewhere?” The mare trotted around the side of the building.

Rarity was shocked. “You can’t mean... What if she’s just not home?” Applejack, breaking and entering? Rarity would never thought it possible. Rainbow Dash, absolutely, though she would apologize afterwards, but straight and narrow Applejack?

She must of read Rarity’s mind, because Applejack stuck her head out from behind the corner and said, “Relax, sugarcube, ah just wanna see what’s goin’ on in there, if anythins’ going on at all. You can take that side’ve the building.”

Rarity nodded and left the doorstep, circling the building. This was just like Dusty’s reconnaissance of the Boardor consulate before his recovery of the Marelantian Crown! She had to be quick and quiet, making sure she didn’t alert any of the diplomats or their staff. Rarity quickly thumped her head into the side of the cottage, hopefully knocking some sense into her.

“Here’s an open one, Rarity,” Applejack called out. “Get ov’r here and gimme a boost.”

Ignoring the dull throbbing of her forehead, Rarity complied, trotting over to Applejack and acting as a pony stepping stool. “What do you see?” she asked, straining under her friend’s weight.

“Hmm... All the lights r’ off, and nothing looks outta place. It’s like Fluttershy was never here!”

“Or, she’s too frightened to get out of bed,” Rarity countered through clenched teeth. “Why on Equestria am I on the bottom?”

“This is silly! We just need tah know if she’s alright! I don’t see wh- whoa!”

Rarity looked up and tried to see what had started Applejack. “What is it?”

“It’s Fluttershy’s critter friend!” A pause. “Ah’m sorry, ah don’t speak Rabbit.” Another pause. “Do ya know where Fluttershy is?” Somehow, Rarity got a disquieting feeling of pure, concentrated resentment emanating from the window above. “Upstairs? Does she need help?”

“For Celestia’s sake, Applejack, hurry up!” Rarity’s knees were shaking.

“Cool off down there! So where were we, little fella?” A soft thwump echoed from above. “What the heck was that for, you dang varmint! Is Fluttershy in trouble?”

“APPLEJACK!” Her whole body ached. Running around town and lifting her own weight were not things Rarity expected to do on a Thursday. Calisthenics were for Wednesdays and weekends!

Suddenly, the weight on her back disappeared as Applejack heaved herself over the windowsill and into Fluttershy’s home. “Ah’ll get the door.”

A few moments later, both mares stood in the cozy cottage. Fluttershy’s home was not just her own, as the innumerable nests and bird houses could attest to. Miniature stairs led to hollows in the walls, no doubt filled with creatures in need of Fluttershy’s veterinary skills. While Fluttershy had no official documents or training in the field of veterinary science, Rarity knew of nopony who was more capable of tending to the needs of animals than the yellow pegasus.

A pegasus that was nowhere to be seen.

“I will look for her upstairs, Applejack,” said Rarity as she wearily trotted towards the staircase.

“Ah’ll sniff around down here, then.” Applejack’s voice drifted away as she entered the kitchen. “Where’d that darn rabbit go?”

Fluttershy’s cottage was quite dark, for midday. All the shutters were closed, and Rarity had yet to see a lit candle. Images of Dusty investigating abandoned manors floated around her, and no amount of shaking seemed able to dispel them. The sooner I get that stupid lecture out of my head, the better. She hadn’t even started her work today!

The upper floor of the house was as dark as the main level, with the only illumination coming from thin streams of light that made it through cracks in the shutters. All the doors at the top of the landing were closed, and Rarity approached the bedroom door first. Knocking as gently as she could, she softly called out.

“Fluttershy, dear, are you in there?”

No answer.

“I’m coming in, darling, is that alright with you?” Rarity waited a moment in silence before slowly opening the door. Fluttershy’s bedroom was as dark as the rest of the cottage, but Rarity could see a messy bed marring an otherwise pristine room. Her winged friend had come home last night, the bed was proof of that, but where was she now?

Sighing, Rarity turned from the doorway and tried another door, this one to the bathroom. She didn’t bother knocking as she opened the door and looked inside at quite possibly themosthorrificthingOhMyCelestiaItCouldn’tPossiblyBeME!

A mirror stood over the sink, and Rarity saw a disgusting creature staring back. It’s multi-toned purple mane was a crinkled, tangled mess, and it’s once beautiful coat, the colour of white smoke, was marred with dirt and grime from the road. The cutie mark of whatever it was standing in front of her was stained, brilliant blue diamonds turned into ugly brown rocks by a bit of mud on its flank.The single, simple, perfect coil its tail should of been was replaced with an unruly nest of hairs that went in every direction but the right one. And worst of all, this... beast... had galloped through town not once, but twice today.

Rarity knew she had lost something far more precious last night then just her mental sanity. An invasive ‘psychomagical’ procedure created by a stallion who clearly saw very little need for any sort of reverse treatment didn’t really worry Rarity. She had been the plaything of a evil god of chaos for half a day, and wasn’t worse for wear after that ordeal. But the embarrassment of that incident meant nothing compared to this one. Rarity, of her own (compromised) free will, had ran throughout town looking like the monstrosity standing before her.

She screamed, slamming the door shut as she backed away from the condemning mirror. She heard the noise of metal on metal downstairs, followed shortly by the sound of four hooves coming up the stairs. Rarity held her head in her hooves, trying to block the horrible memory of what she had seen, but couldn’t erase that image she saw in the mirror.

“Rarity, what’s wrong?” Applejack’s voice came from a million miles away. Rarity’s whole world was that awful, wretched mirror. Trembling, she raised a hoof to point at the door to the bathroom, but her throat felt like it was being squeezed shut. She couldn’t manage a single syllable, let alone words.

A mighty crash sounded throughout the house. Rarity ignored it. Nothing mattered. She was hideous, ugly, and everypony had seen it. Rarity had thought her reputation had been unsalvageable before, when the whole town had seen the atrocious designs she had made for her friends paraded about before fashion mogul Hoity Toity, but this... This was something else. There were no clients to blame here, nothing but pure, unfiltered Rarity, looking for all of Equestria to see as a dirty, mangy mule of a pony.

A vision of Dusty Ruin filled her mind, early in his career, with him the subject of an authenticity investigation that revealed three of the antiques he had recently recovered being proven fakes, and his reputation in serious jeopardy. This was the last straw for Rarity. I can’t even wallow in pity without that stupid stallion butting in? I. Will. DESTROY YOU!

She focused all of her frustrations and fears towards the image of Dusty. All of her anger at Twilight for doing this to her, all of her reservations at her own behavior to the rest of her friends, she channeled towards the archaeologist in her mind. An unstoppable force began to emerge from deep within her, beginning at the base of her neck and crawling up through her throat. A low, throaty growl cleared the way for what needed to occur next.

Rarity roared, some primal energy coursing through her as she gave a bellow that would shame any dragon, young or old. Eyes closed, she did not see Applejack’s hat and mane get blown back as she exited the bathroom through a bucked-down door. She could not hear the cracking of every glass and crystal object in the house, nor the instant quieting of woodland creatures leagues around as they questioned their continued mortality. Twilight would tell her later that seismographic recording machines registered an anomalous event that could not be explained geologically at this very moment. Rarity roared as she cleansed herself of everything inside of her that wasn’t pure, generous, and fabulous. She roared and only, simply, Rarity, remained.

Opening her eyes with a smile on her face, Rarity saw Applejack standing a metre away, hat missing, mane and tail stuck straight out behind her, mouth open and staring ahead in shock. “Hoo, Applejack, I really needed that.” Using her magic as best she could to fix her appearance, Rarity gave a little twirl that bounced her mane across her face. “Come on, dear, we have a friend to comfort!”

Applejack stood there, sputtering for a while, before finally managing to spit out “Uhh, righto, Rarity.” The stunned mare shook her head, releasing her mane from its unnatural position and letting it fall back down to its customary place. Her eyes never left Rarity as she leant down and grabbed her hat off the floor.

Rarity was about to flutter her eyelashes and ask what was wrong when she heard a noise from Fluttershy’s bedroom. trotting through the doorway, she came across just the pony she had come to see ensnared in a blanket and fumbling at a window latch. “Fluttershy, darling, there you are!” Rarity noticed that half the blanket was still under the bed. “I’ve been so worried about you!”

Seeing Rarity, Fluttershy tackled the unicorn into a fierce hug and buried her face into Rarity’s chest. Her quiet voice could be hard to hear in the best of situations, and having her muzzle buried in Rarity’s coat certainly didn’t help communication, but the fashionista managed to parse out ‘terrible,’ ‘pony-eating,’ and ‘dragon’ from the muffled cries.

“There, there, Fluttershy. It’s plain to see you’re in distress. What were you doing under your bed?”

“Oh Rarity, it was awful. I woke up today, and I usually make breakfast for all my little friends, so I was downstairs getting things ready when, oh it was horrible!” Rarity patted her on the back, and Fluttershy continued on with her recountment. “I started getting these strange visions that just wouldn’t go away, of that pony Twilight wants us to go with. At first it wasn’t so bad, but then the visions started getting really scary!” Fluttershy leaned back, tears in her eyes. “The worst part was, when my animal friends tried to comfort me, the visions were all of being lost in the jungle with terrible monsters chasing Dusty! I couldn’t do anything to calm them down, and he just kept running and running... I had to ask all my friends to leave! I couldn’t hear them without remembering those horrible things!”

The anguish etched onto Fluttershy’s kind and gentle face broke Rarity’s heart.
She didn’t know what to say, and just hugged Fluttershy close. A moment later, Applejack’s strong limbs closed around them both in a warm and sweet embrace.

“Well, shucks, sugarcube, that sounds downright reprehensible. I thought I had it bad when I thought muh apple trees were turnin’ on me.” The orange mare looked to Rarity. “You sure seem a lot more like yerself after that hollerin,’ Rarity.”

At the reminder of the fearsome cry, Fluttershy’s wings flared out, and her body stiffened as she let loose a small bleat of fear. Rarity quickly tried to calm her down. “Don’t worry Fluttershy, that was just me getting a few things out of my system.” The butter-coloured pegasus had a debilitating fear of grown dragons, and the mention of one could paralyze her with terror.

“That was you, Rarity?” Her wings were folding back down to her sides.

“Oh, you know how I can get sometimes,” she replied with a blush. Applejack glared at her from behind Fluttershy, making it clear that she didn’t buy it for a second.

“Come, Fluttershy, Applejack. Twilight’s remedy for this... affliction should be prepared by now. Once we find her and the others, we can get this information out of our heads.” Rarity broke the hug and waited for Fluttershy to extricate herself from her sheets, before using her magic to fling open the shutters in the room. Light streamed in, and Rarity took a deep breath of fresh air. Yes, this day may have started badly but it would end brilliantly!

-----

“Alright, everypony, what are your names, please.”

“Is this really necessary, Twilight?”

“Yes! Every student, prior to a oral examination, states their name and student number!”

“But we don’t even have student numbers. We aren’t in school!”

“Come on, Dashie, this will be fun! I loved tests in school! I’m Pinkie Pie!”

“Ugh. Rainbow Dash.”

Rarity idly brushed her coat with the comb she fetched from her boutique before arriving at the park. The six mares were all seated under a large oak that still retained most of its leaves, likely due to its distance from any Running of the Leaves course. Twilight sat with her back to the tree, a small stack of papers arranged in a neat pile in front of her. Rarity experienced another moment of recollection, with Dusty at the head of a large lecturing hall detailing the expenses of a mission to a group of stuffy stallions and mares. She yawned and continued her grooming.

Once the five had stated their names, Twilight cleared her throat and began to speak. “I’m really sorry about all this girls. I guess I just wanted you all to be excited about something I’m interested in as much as me. I never wanted anything like this to happen.” She hung her head low.

“It’s okay, sugarcube. Nopony’s perfect, and we all make mistakes.” Twilight lifted her head at Applejack’s gentle tone.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Twilight!” Pinkie got up and started to bounce around as she spoke. “It was like an adventure in my head every time I turned around. One minute I’d be dabbing some icing on a cupcake, the next I’d be swiping the keys to a cage off some silly guard! It’s real hard to get bored when stuff like that’s floating around in your head.” Pinkie finished her praise and her bouncing right in front of Twilight, nose to nose with the librarian. “It was tons of fun!”

“Yeah, Pinkie’s right!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, flapping her wings and shooting up towards the branches of the tree. She looked down and continued. “It was like a Daring Do book come to life! And yes, I’m sure all of you know he contributed many interviews to the author during the writing of the series. He’s awesome, and cool, and he never gave up, no matter how hard the world tried to bring him down!” The cyan mare accentuated each point with a punch of the hoof to the air. “Today was amazing, Twilight! Everything I did was turned into a totally awesome movie that only I could watch!”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear yah Rainbow. But some of us ponies can’t work with distractions like that testing muh patience like that, every moment ov’ the day. It got pretty bad on the farm, and no way nellie am ah gunna go back there without this ‘gentlestallion’ outta mah head.” Applejack was shaking her head as Rainbow descended back down to earth. “And ya’ll should’ve seen poor Fluttershy and Rarity. You wouldn’t be saying that if you had seen them a lil’ while ago.”

Rarity felt blood rush to her cheeks. “I behaved like-” she cut herself off. “Like a total ass.” She felt a sigh escape her. “Apparently having rough and tumble adventures running through my head is not something I’m prepared for. And I certainly made a total foal of myself today.” Rarity suddenly found the grass beneath her quite fascinating. “I should’ve been stronger. Why are you always so good at keeping things together when they fall apart like this, Applejack?”

Applejack didn’t have a chance to respond before Fluttershy, surprisingly, raised her voice. “I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself, Rarity. Sometimes, when things don’t go your way, you can lose yourself in a problem.” A blush to match Rarity’s appeared on her shy face. “I would know.” Rarity looked up, remembering Fluttershy’s attempts at becoming more assertive, and smiled at the pegasus

A stiff breeze blew through the park, and Rarity shivered. Rainbow Dash broke the silence. “Are you sure you can’t just do this on some of us, Twilight?

The purple mare shook her head. “I checked the errata. It only works if the group is identical to the one lectured to. It’s quite fascinating, really, with it requiring the same herd as before. No pony really knows why it doesn’t take if the group is different, and some theories include-”

“Fine, sure I get it.” Rainbow Dash hung her head and gave a disappointed sigh, before looking up again, determination fierce in her amber eyes. “What am I thinking, feeling bad that I don’t get to experience awesomeness every day? I am awesome! One day, they’re going to give lectures on my career with the Wonderbolts, and it will be ten times as cool as this guy’s life!” She spread her wings and stomped her hooves.

“Yeah,” Pinkie added, giving Rainbow a hoof-bump. “We just need to make our own lives as fun and exciting as Dusty Ruin’s!” She turned to Twilight, eyes lit up in glee. “And I have a plan to do it! But first, lets take this test!”

Rarity added her voice to the chorus of affirmation that followed Pinkie Pie’s remark.

“I’m so lucky to have you all as my friends, girls!” Twilight was positively misty-eyed. Her expression changed quickly, though, when she broke a straight branch off the tree and rapped it on the trunk.. “Listen up, students,” giving a fair impersonation of a strict teacher drilling her fillies before a test. “When I ask you a question, you answer it! If I do NOT ask you, specifically, a question, what will you do?” She marched back and forth, nose in the air.

“Not answer?” guessed Pinkie, a grin splashed across her face

“Did I ask you to answer, Miss Pie?” Twilight spun and glared at the pink party pony.

Pinkie scrunched her face up for a few seconds, before pulling a lightbulb out of her mane and tossing it above her head. “Nope!”

Rarity had to give Twilight a lot of credit for not breaking character as laughter rolled through the park. “Very clever, Miss Pie. Enough talk!” Twilight levitated up the first of the sheets and began the quiz.

-----

Two hours passed in the park, and the Celestia’s heavenly charge was setting in the sky to make way for her sisters’ when Twilight read off the last question.

“And what is Dusty Ruin’s next goal, in the field of nonequine history and myth? Rarity?”

“The Tomb of the Fallen Star, long rumoured to be located somewhere to the east of Zebrica, according to both their oral history and that of the great empire of Cervidas.” Rarity was initially surprised when the mention of the Tomb didn’t send her down information lane, as every other question had, but quickly berated herself for the thought. It’s the one thing he hasn’t found yet, Rarity. Of course there won’t be a vision for it. Rarity shuddered. She had come to expect the visions.

“Well done, everypony! You all did great!” Twilight reshuffled her notes back into order and set them on the ground.

Rainbow Dash gave a whoop. “I’ll pass any test you throw at me!” She gave Fluttershy a nudge. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“No... it’s different when I’m with all of you. It’s not as scary as when you’re alone.”

“Yeah, we’re all a bunch‘ve scholars, now. Lets get this outta our heads, already.” Applejack tossed her head, stretching after being stationary for so long.

“Come on Twilight, do it! Ask us to make an informed decision!” Pinkie fell into a low crouch, playfully shaking her tail, ready to pounce on the question as soon as it was asked.

“Alright, Pinkie, you first. Do you want to accept Dusty Ruin’s offer to search for and explore the Tomb of the Fallen Star?”

“You bet! It’ll be great! What better way to spice up our lives than hang out with a pony like Dusty! We can have travelling parties on the way, and I can make all sorts of friends I couldn’t staying here, and-”

Twilight stuck a hoof into Pinkie’s mouth. “We get it, Pinkie.” She turned to the next pony in the circle. “I think I already know your response to the question, Rainbow.”

The prismatic pegasus puffed out her chest and proudly stated, “I, Rainbow Dash, totally accept Dusty Ruin’s personal request to accompany him on his quest for the Tomb.” She gave a happy squeal after finishing. “I just swore an oath! Just like Daring Do at the start of one of her adventures!”

“Applejack?”

The farmer looked at Rarity for a moment before answering. “Well, Twilight, ah would say ah couldn’t go, with the orchard n’ all...”

Wait. Would say?

“But all the jam and ciders been made, all muh trees are bare, or close enough to that Big Mac alone won’t have any trouble. And Apple Bloom’s been askin’ if she could learn the tricks of selling the produce long enough that she deserves a chance to do it herself.” She paused, and gave a wide smile. “So muh schedule seems to be freed right up, at least until Winter Wrap-Up.”

Rarity couldn’t believe it. Applejack was... no, she wouldn’t.

“Is that a yes?” asked Twilight hopefully.

“Mah grandpappy, bless his soul, always talked about a trip he made down south, over the Crossing once. Said it was one’ve the most interesting things he ever did. If its good enough for him, it's certainly good enough for me to try!”

Rarity looked to Fluttershy, sitting between her and Applejack. Such a timid, fearful mare couldn’t possibly think to accept this ridiculous offer. Could she?

Twilight was all smiles. “That wonderful, Applejack!” She excitedly clapped her hooves together. “Fluttershy?”

Rarity noticed Applejack looking embarrassed and avoiding her eyes. Fluttershy was watching Pinkie and Rainbow eagerly nod their heads in encouragement. Rarity took a deep breath and held it as Fluttershy spoke.

“Um, well... it seems like Dusty Ruin is a very important pony, and not just to you Twilight, but to all of Equestria. I really think he runs around too much, for me, though. I mean, um...” Rarity’s lungs began to strain. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight Sparkle all moved in closer to hear. “I think he could learn a thing or two about asking nicely before taking something, even if it doesn’t belong to them, or it’s really important to Equestria.” She paused, giving a weak smile. “And he really needs to work on communicating with animals. They always seem so angry at him, probably because he’s too busy to listen.”

Lungs on fire, Rarity silently urged Fluttershy to get to the point.

“What I mean to say, is, maybe, um, if he had somepony to slow him down a bit, and help him with the animals, maybe he wouldn’t have to run away so much?”

Rarity let loose the breath she was holding. Fluttershy continued to speak, but Rarity was too busy thinking to listen. I can’t believe they all want to go! Who will finish my commissions? Who will grow my business into something great? Who will spend time with Sweetie Belle, my beloved sister? Who will take care of Opal?

Maybe she was being too pessimistic about the whole thing. There had to be some upsides to this, right? Going on an, ugh, adventure, wasn’t what she had planned for the rest of autumn and winter, but she’d be spending it with her friends. Whom she loved very much, and it wasn’t fair to them to shackle them to Ponyville all season just because of her, right? And maybe she’d be inspired by foreign dress, meet with royalty and diplomats and other high-class beings, before they delved into the hot, icky jungles for a couple weeks. A couple weeks of being tortured by the heat, humidity, insects, animals, and all the other 'wonders' of the jungle. Rarity huffed. Who was she kidding. It was going to be awful. But, Rarity knew her answer before Twilight opened her mouth. Most of it would be travelling, right? She could sew some pieces on the road, especially in the style of transport Dusty Ruin liked. Look at me, trying to rationalize this to myself.

Twilight was about to ask Rarity the question when Rarity held up her hoof. “Don’t bother, Twilight, I’m coming along too.” The result was exactly what she expected. Applejack and Fluttershy both gave her relieved smiles, Twilight immediately began prancing around and shouting “Yes, yes, YES!” at the top of her lungs, and Pinkie Pie whipped out some fireworks out of nowhere and somehow launched them into the air with a multicoloured bang.

Rarity felt a strange sensation, like a weight lifting off her chest, and breathed a little easier. She wasn’t sure if it was resignation at her fate, or that horrible hallucinatory sickness leaving her. Looking around at the jubilance surrounding her, she spoke softly under her breath.

“Hooray.”