Harry walked down the street, wishing to talk to Wilson after than horrid incident on Nightmare Night.

Wilson raised his Light Sword and screamed, slashing at Princess Luna as she landed.

Harry restricted Wilson and reprimanded him, “Calm your bollocks, Wilson, it’s one of the princesses, remember?” The messy-haired man reminded, shifting inside of his copy of Snape’s outfit.

Wilson straightened his fedora and pinstripe suit, sheathed his Light Sword, and looked at Luna, bowing.

“I am so sorry, your highness, please do not smite me.” He pleaded, instantly desperate for his life, “I’ll do anything-er, almost anything!”

“You do not need to worry, my friend, we are willing to forgive you for this action.” Luna said with a small, wise smile.

“Oh thank you, I’m so sorry, I’m just so jumpy, and I’m kinda… really afraid of the dark.”

“We understand, we too were once of an easily frightened mindset, but in safety, we found a toughness, you will get better, young one.” Luna empathized

Wilson looked at the ground, then back at the dark blue alicorn in front of him, smiling.

“God bless the Queen! Or… wait no you’re a Princess I think… oh wait I’m supposed to be an American, or am I? Dah, forget it! God bless the President! Wait… no… I guess Princess!” Wilson finally decided as he adjusted his Golden 20s outfit and raised a fist into the air in victory.

Every day, along with his own report on the information of the Organization, now Wilson sent a small journal note to Luna, who was helping him to become more mentally stable.

Harry was now going to investigate a cave that apparently had had so much residual chaos magic in it that the magic and permeated the stone and the cave had become enchanted.

He stopped walking for a second, hearing a distant clip-clop sounds of somepony galloping down the street.

*VORP* A group of people, and a single tall, black-skinned humanoid appeared on the street.

A magical screen he’d had up, which had a compilation of the notes he’d made on the Organization, caught a man in the group.

During that one second, the tan-skinned man with the light brown hair, gray shirt, and blue jeans locked eyes with him.

“Oh! Mister Potter, nice to see you today, sorry, but I must make haste, my little sister is-” Rarity stopped and gasped in surprise when a beam of energy went right by her ear, singing the tip of it.

Harry knew what this was, “BLUE! STOP!” He shouted to the offending ex-agent

“I could have hit her if I wanted to, that was just a warning shot, a warning to you, Harry, not this bitch.” Blue said as he flew up to the pair.

“So’s blowing the fuck out of an entire desert town just because ‘there might be terrorists’, while that might seem like a good reason to bomb a dune, or an empty valley, THAT’S NOT A GOOD REASON TO TAKE INNOCENT LIVES, AGENT 4!” Blue raised his SBC-SR again and prepared to blast Rarity between the eyes.

Harry slapped the barrel away, “Calm your bollocks, Blue, Rarity is not a… whatever you’re implying she is.”

“A member of the Organization… but then again… hmmmmm, okay, answer me this: If you’re Rarity, then… who is the King of Pop?”

“Okay, it’s just a Rarity, not Agent 4, Agent 4 doesn’t really follow the trends.” Blue backed off and flew away, “I’ll keep an eye out for any more agents, okay?”

“Okay Blue, just don’t jump on anyone’s back for being slightly suspicious.” Harry instructed to the departing man.

“ATTACK!!!” A man in light blue fatigues that were covered in garbage jumped out of the can and charged toward Harry.

“You damn British sympathizers, YOUR KING WILL NOT TAKE AMERICA AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE, AND I GOT A BOOTED FOOT TO SHOVE STRAIGHT UP THEIR COLLECTIVE ASSES!!!” The man took out a degraded cardboard roll and began whipping Harry with it.

‘Well, Wade’s no longer the crazy one here.’ Harry thought as the crazy man continued ‘attacking’ him.

“*sniff sniff* I SMELL SOMEONE THINKING OF ME!” Wade said as he swung through the branches of Sweet Apple Acres like a monkey.

Deadpool stopped from his chanting of “Parkour!” whenever he grabbed another branch, and looked ahead.

A muscled man in some kind of ragged clothing was standing there, looking around. Deadpool dropped down, and looked at the man.

“Heyoo!” Steve, despite being covered head to toe in clothing, made it very clear that he was being annoyed by the merc.

“He told me to shut up and go fuck myself, or he’ll shoot me with Hyperion guns.”

“Heyo.” Steve briefly replied. “Heyoo?” Steve twirled his gun and holstered it.

“Oh yeah, follow me to Ponyville, please, and I can show you THIS, the land of ponies.”

“Heyoo.” Steve followed Wade to the ponyville with literally no logical reason to do so other than being asked nicely.

John stood crouched right outside the border of Ponyville, his sniper rifle zoomed in as he watched the Everfree Forest.

“Chief, I am detecting an unknown presence and a friendly signal within 4 feet of each other, be wary, they are approaching your position at 20 meters per second, NOTICE: suit power levels at 55%”

“Copy that, Cortana.” John readied his rifle and aimed at the general direction of the signal.

“What the hell?” John watched as the boat stopped about twenty feet away from him, a large ramp lowering to the ground.

Down the ramp came two humanoid figures, one was a Sangheili, or an Elite, as most called them.

The other was a slightly hunched-over man in pirate gear, with long black vines growing out of his jawline.

“Ohhhhh damn Charlie, you’re a party animal.” Arbiter slurred, trying not to drool on his translator device.

“Aye lad, Charlie Scene Blackvine is all the party in da galaxy… aye, HUWAAAAAAAAAAH! AN ENEMY!” The red-clad pirate-looking guy shouted as he raised his hat, revealing a ninja headband.

‘In this case, Arbiter’s sobriety! Yay drunkenness! Such beautiful mischief.’

‘I am sensing that they are magical ninja space-travelling pirates… I’m too old for this bullshit.’

“Arby, ye know this landlubber?” Charlie said as he pulled out a pistol and a throwing needle, tossing the latter at John’s shoulder.

The extremely lightweight projectile bounced off of the armored soldier’s shoulder plate and fell to the ground. The tip had been dented, rendering the unorthodox weapon unusable.

“Alright, you have ten seconds to explain yourself, now.” Chief said sternly to the ninja-pirate.

“I was sad, because I didn’t know where you went, so I searched for people who know maps.” Arbiter started.

“Ain’ nobody knows tha star-charts like ol’ Blackbeard here, of tha planet o’ Ents.”

“Aye, but ye was lookin’ at arr dogs, we’s a fine race, an’ I cad’nt a done me piratin’ thang without me crew an’ me beard.” Blackbeard gestured to his viny beard.

“Yae Humans grow mini-vines outta ye faces all the time, why’s it so weird thayt us Ents have beards as well?”

“Our beards are made of hair, which is a natural growth composed of chemicals that our bodies make.” John replied.

“Ain arr beards are made o’ vines, ain sometimes leaves, if ye be a flatter kinda Ent, ain sometimes moss, for the especial growy types.”

“...Fair point.” John felt like part of his brain had melted out of his ear, the part that prevented him from suspending his disbelief.

“Right, so eh’ll be on me way, the clan’s ‘avin a meet-up at tha Star-Nets.” Blackbeard mounted his ship again and sailed off into space.

“The Star-Net is a series of stars that are highly unstable, they’re going to get blown up in a solar flare.” John said as he watched the brown boat-ship become a tiny dot, and then disappear completely.

“So~… *BLAH-BLAAAARG*” Arbiter vomited all over the ground, so much vomit that John had to step back from the expanding puddle

Even through his vents, Chief could smell that Arbiter had just voided his body of all of the alcohol in it, and this act was so intense that he now had labored breathing, “*huff* … water?” The heaving elite requested.

The purple-armored Elite took it and drank almost the whole thing in one go, coming up for air about fifteen seconds later.

“Thank you, alright, so… hostiles?” Arbiter crouched down again to protect his neck as he brandished out his dual energy swords and looked at the brightly-colored town.

“If they are as friendly as you say, then they can understand that they will need to earn my trust.” It was biological response to nearby danger than the sangheili lean their heads down to protect their necks, only willing to expose them in the presence of their closest friends, as a sign of trust.

Even Arbiter himself only ever stood up straight when he was alone with John, and if one was attentive, they could use a sangheili’s leaning response as a silent and subtle alarm of nearby danger.

“I’m sure of it… and I gotta say, even I was surprised to find out just how huge you are.” John said with his hands behind his head in a relaxed stride.

“Yes… nine feet tall when standing straight up.” Arbiter recalled his true height.

The two old friend’s walked down the street, catching up as they made their way to the library.

He had managed to get a few bits, enough to get Twilight a new mug, during the first couple of weeks when everypony was rebuilding the town.

However, any work that was more full-time or permanent was evasive, and he dared not try to get a job at the spa.

In a room, behind a closed door, was Rarity, getting a… less than appropriate massage from an unidentifiable stallion masseuse.

“Oh... my...” Wilson felt extremely embarrassed, closed the door slowly and quietly, and then ran like hell.

The messy-haired scientist/wizard shook his head free of those thoughts, and he bumped into something.

Looking down at him was a man dressed in an immaculate pinstripe suit with a worn-out fedora topping it off (and denoting the length of his time in , with a Tommy Gun in his jacket, a Colt 1911 in a holster in his pants, and a stiletto knife in his pocket.

This was a member of the mafia, the deadliest and most present force Wilson knew of from a month-long trip to America he had once.

“My name… is Adam Corleone, you are… a brother?” Adam asked as he eyed the cut of the suit Wilson was wearing, it was the same as his own.

“Uh… yes… yes I am, brother, I did not recognize you at first.” Wilson lied, hoping to make a new friend.

“Neither did I, my stol-… licensed vehicle... was crashed in an escape from the poli-... pigs…” Adam stuttered as he turned away from Wilson, in a minor amount of shock from being in this candy pony land, “Walk with me, brother, I find it easier to talk over a plate of lunch, no?”

“Yes.” Wilson agreed happily, he loved having a steady supply of food, he’d already gained ten pounds from his time in Equestria, and generally felt better about himself due to the friendliness of the townsfolk towards him.

While they couldn’t help much with his fear of the dark, Princess Luna had helped him to be more comfortable with it.

The ponies of Ponyville had experience many weird things in their time, especially over the course of the last several months.

Then violence was wrought over the town by an impromptu magic fight between Harry and Twilight due to Twilight almost going insane for ‘being tardy’ (which had earned her a hearty slap of percussive maintenance).

The mare in question had been just now stepping out of Town Hall from a meeting with Mayor Mare over the lack of a ‘Jobs Board’ in town, the addition of which would allow the ponies of Ponyville to get help with their medium-sized problems, I.E. problems too big to fix on their own, but too small to need specialized assistance.

Chief was walking to the center of town with a large humanoid figure next to him, it had dark blue skin, shiny purple armor, and a large pole-hammer and rifle-shaped object with strange, purple jagged thingies poking out on its back.

Coming from another street at a different angle was Deadpool and a strange human with a mask on.

The human looked at her, then Twilight and every human present turned to some shouting coming from another street.

Harry was being followed by a shouting man who was assaulting him with a degraded paper towel roll.

BLU Soldier dedicated each of his harmless hits to someone, “AND THIS ONE’S FOR ME! AND THIS ONE’S FOR ENGINEER, HE WAS AMERICAN! AND THIS ONE’S FOR ME AGAIN! AND THIS ONE’S FOR THAT ANNOYING KID, HE WAS AMERICAN TOO! AND THIS ONE’S FOR ME AGAIN! AND THIS ONE’S FOR THE PRESIDENT, NOT THAT YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT THAT IS! AND THAT’S FOR MY OLD ROOMMATE, BUT I ALSO HATED HIM!!!”

“Petrificus Totalus!” He recited, causing Soldier to stop his movements, seize up, and then fall to the ground.

“If you are a wizard, THEN I AM WILLING TO BE ROOMMATES WITH YOU!” Soldier noisily informed, still able to move his lips.

Harry groaned in exasperation, hesitantly releasing the spell on the crazy soldier.

Jane Doe, or ‘Soldier’ as he preferred to be called, stood up again, bringing out a toolbox.

“Engy gave this Dispenser to me, I definitely did NOT rip this up from the battlefield when I noticed I was fading out of existence, it was given to me by an Engineer, yep, definitely was, so you have no reason to doubt that.” Soldier conspicuously assured his innocence, placing down the toolbox shape and beating on it with his paper towel roll.

“Listen, whoever you are, you’ve obviously been… eliminated from the battlefield, or however you soldiers say it.”

Steve perked up at the word ‘eliminated’, and pulled out his rocket launcher.

“Whoa dude, that’s cool, wish I had a model like that.” Deadpool said as he watched Steve take aim and fire.

Soldier didn’t miss a beat as he caught the rocket mid-air, “YOU CANNOT USE MY OWN WEAPON AGAINST ME! IT’S MY WEAP- YOU FILTHY RED SCUM!” Jane turned the rocket (which was still propelling itself) around and let it shoot off towards Deadpool.

Wade jumped, getting his legs blown off.“HAHA! TAKE THAT!” Jane cheered as he resumed whacking the Dispenser.

A few hits later, the Dispenser’s box (surprisingly) opened up in response, becoming a Level 1 Dispenser and giving Soldier some ammo for his empty rocket launcher.

“Haha!” He shouted as he reloaded his own rocket launcher, the Direct Hit, and aimed it.

From a nearby rooftop, Ezio prepared a fragmentation grenade and Link prepared a Bomb Arrow.

“Aim not for Lady Twilight, or for Sir John, aim for a newcomer, or Deadpool, he is aiming for Twilight.” Ezio instructed, cocking his arm back.

*PW-BOOOOOOM...clatter clatter*

A strange, black-clad man, with Blue Comet underneath him, crashed down from the sky, making a huge noise and sending pebbles into the air, which made clattering sounds when they fell back down again, making everyone jump, but luckily not fire any explosives.

Blue curled up his legs and kicked Condition One off of him, using his wings to push himself up.

Blue flexed his fists as he drew his SBC-SR, ready to put a nice, clean hole into the other agent.

“You’re outnumbered and outgunned, D, so either fuck off or get wrecked, kid.”

“You may be a few years older than me, but you’re not nearly as skilled as I am.” Condition One said as he looked around.

There were a total of 9 attacks aimed at him, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to dodge all of them, no matter what angle he dodged at. CO knew that even with his reflexes and training, even he couldn’t move that fast.

So he did the next best thing, fire randomly with one MP5 and punch in the teleport code.

Blue noticed CO putting away one MP5, and knew immediately what was about to happen.

He ducked just in time for CO to fire right where his head had been, and the bullets flew towards Soldier, who blocked them with his surprisingly tough helmet.

*PWEEOOSH* went the SBC-SR as a hole was cut clean through CO’s body, making him stumble as he punched in the last key, teleporting away.

Chief, Arbiter, Soldier, Steve, Deadpool, Link, Ezio, and Twilight put away their respective explosives and looked at each other.

“TELL ME ABOUT IT!” Wilson called out from a cafe right next to the square, he and Adam had seen the whole incident.

“I agree.” The former-agent said as he put his rifle on his back and flew upwards to watch over the town again.

“Heyoo!” Steve called out to the pretty little unicorn, wishing to brush her mane.

“YOU, YOUNG LADY, ARE A BLASPHEMY!” Soldier said as he was about to aim the Direct Hit at the pony who dared to be purple, but was immediately hit with another Petrificus Totalus, “Alright, nevermind, you’re okay.”

She’d never admit it unless pressured, but she was a pretty bad smoker, and somehow she’d kept it secret thus far, maybe she didn’t even show any signs of it, she’d managed to stay quite healthy with her rigorously active lifestyle.

‘Earth ponies’s known fer ar physical stuff, ‘n Ah’m lucky ‘bout that, t’ain’t right how some ponies go an’ get themselves all fucked up though, gettin’ lung illnesses n’such, dear Celestia I hope John ain’t mad that I borrehd his smokes, but these’re really good.’ She thought as she sighed, expelling white smoke from her mouth as she continued to look up at the moon.

The green-eyed farmer watched the moon for an hour, putting out the lantern and lighting another cigarette from the one she had.

About three cigarettes later, she felt tired for being up so late, and the chemicals in Chief’s smokes were really relaxing.

Harry n’ that weird Jane Doe guy with the blue uniform’re roommates, n’ they’re still in Twilight’s basement.

Wilson n’ that creepy Adam guy, they got back from Manehattan today, they done made some business decidin’s n’ got a whole mess’a bits, they’s gettin’ themselves a mansion built.

That Blue Comet guy is bunkin’ with RD, and that Ezio Auditorium’s rentin’ a house in town with Link, Deadpool, and Steve, and I guess Adam and Wilson while they’s waitin’ fer their mansion to get done bein’ built.

Chief and that Arbiter thingy have done taken up residence here at the Acres. They’re both willin’ to help out with the farm work, they’re both pretty strong.’

Her eyes fluttered shut, and her forehead made a small *slap* sound as it fell a few inches onto the edge of the barrel she had been sitting in front of.

She was so deeply asleep that she didn’t get woken up by the rooster’s call.

“Awaken, John-117, it is 6AM, as your employers had requested you awakening time be, todays missions:

Accomplish Farm work (not comp-” Cortana stopped when Chief put up a hand in a ‘stop’ gesture.

“Side mission: Locate Applejack, she ‘stepped out’ last night and did not ‘step back in’, as the saying goes.”

“I’ll do that now, and I’m shutting you off.” John removed his helmet, then his whole suit.

“Suit power levels at 48%” Cortana informed from his helmet, taking the responsibility of shutting off Chief’s armor for him.

Underneath his armor was a simple white muscle shirt and blue camouflage pants, which covered him enough and kept his armor from giving him a rash or something.

‘But or something sounds really dangerous! Also I noticed that last chapter, we introduced shutting off the voices, but this chapter, we’re just completely ignoring that idea.’

‘But I’m so fun to talk to! Could you think of how a world without me talking would be?!?!?!’

He kept his pistol in his pocket as he stepped outside before Granny Smith was done making breakfast.

Walking around the left side of the barn, he found Applejack’s hat sitting on the edge of a barrel.

Coming closer, he heard some light snoring, and found that Applejack was still wearing the stetson, and was just asleep with her head on the barrel.

“GAH! Huh? Wha-oh shit.” A cigarette butt fell out from between her lips as she scrambled to hide it.

“Uh… eenope, Ah don’t, whaddya mean by smokin’?” Applejack was a bad liar, and the fact that she kept looking side to side and had her mouth scrunched up was a big sign that she was, indeed, lying.

John didn’t have much time to respond, the orange mare’s stetson had been sliding forward on her head, and it finally fell off.

John noticed that they had the same symbol on them as his own pack of cigarettes, and reached into his pocket for his own pack, to compare the boxes, “Huh?” His pack was not in his pocket.

He looked down at Applejack with a stern gaze, Applejack was about half his height from this position.

“Ah was gonna giv’em back, Ah juss needed a few, my own pack was all empty!” Applejack pulled an empty pack out from behind the barrel and showed it to the soldier.

“I see… well alright… you smoked ten cigarettes in about one and a half hours?! That’s highly unhealthy Private Applejack.” he warned, counting the extra empty spaces.

“Yeah, well ya don’t see me coughin’ now, do y-*Cough*... Sorry ‘bout dat.”

“Yes, but I suppose the effects of smoking a large quantity of tobacco products for a long time are starting to show up.” Chief noted.

“S’not any of yer business here, Chief. See ya inside.” Applejack hopped from her seat, then trotted back into the farmhouse.

“God-…dammit... I’m too old for this shit, two or three wars and a whole load of bullshit between, with cryo and slipspace, and… god I feel like I’m in my 80s.” John was already tired of all the struggles he’d had in life, and that exhaustion was starting to degrade into sickness.

He picked up his pack and lit up his own cigarette, he saw this pack of special blend (these were smooth and clean-burning, and also full of relaxing agents) as an award box, each time he’d done something to either earn or deserve one, he’d smoke one.

But Applejack… with the way she was acting about it, she’d been keeping this dirty secret for a long time.

And John knew from experience that the longer you stayed dirty, the harder it was to come clean.

“Yes... it’s a bit bitter, but it’s still good, do they have any molasses or honey?”

“Steve’s right... no better invention than coffee.” Deadpool ignored Ezio’s request.

“Yeah, except... wait, was he some muscular guy who screams every line he says?”

“Oh, he did? So did I! Screw you, Osborn!” Deadpool yelled the last line in an annoying tone as he did a fist shake.

“It’s better that you do not ask at this point, we will say that Deadpool is Deadpool, and leave it at that.” Ezio interrupted Link as he took another sip of coffee.

“Eeeee-yup… oh wait or was it mmm-yup? CRAP! I forgot my line, sorry, sorry.” Deadpool said as he put up a hand of apology to the viewers.

“I do not understand this ‘fourth wall’ that he insists he breaks, we are outside, structurally, there are no walls.” Ezio muttered as he leaned over to Link.

“Fire, water, wind, and earth... deserts, oceans, canyons, and mountains, those are natural barriers.”

“While strong, I sincerely doubt Deadpool is capable of destroying a mountain.” Ezio remarked.

“WATCH OOOOOUUUUUUT!” Rainbow Dash yelled as she redirected a falling cart away from crushing Deadpool.

‘You sound like an english-speaking tsundere… OH THAT’S SO CUUUUTE! Dashie’s secretly girly, Dashie’s secretly girlyyy!’

Rainbow Dash looked at Deadpool, who was doing a little dance, and punched him in the face, hard.

‘Head trauma towards Deadpool is a risk, as you may end up with a worse voice to hear, if you don’t mute them out, which it seems like we aren’t actually really doing.’

‘I’m Randomness, AKA a lighthearted form of chaos, the orange one is DPV1, DPV2 is the red one, the yellow one is Justice, who is a badass form of harmony.’

‘My fellows always call me a ‘badass’, but I am good, and I lack an ass.’

“I think they are speaking through thoughts.” Ezio said, slightly weirded out about how Deadpool and Rainbow Dash just seemed to be standing there, looking at each other.

‘Don’t ask, but that would be how long his ‘midget’ brother is, if you catch my drift.’

‘I feel like beating the shit out of your racist ass for some nonsensical reason again. *BAP*’

“Yes.” The two got up, paid for the drinks, and left the Bandit and the unconscious pony alone.

“Heyoo.” Steve whispered as he petted the pretty pony, the pretty, pretty pony.

“We’re wiping the ability to hear voices to everyone but you, Chief, Blue and some fourth guy.”

“Because we got a broken pony, and Steve broke into the mind chat without trying. It’ll get too confusing at this point.”

“Of course buddy, *ahem* Deadpool, by his Lordship’s Divine Decree (‘his Lordship’ meaning me) you are hereby sentenced to a sealed voice-pallet, or something, I’m not sure on the terminology to be used in this situation, but…*hefts godly hammer*”

‘Same here, um… is Rainbow Dash still supposed to have the Randomness voice tied to her, or are we waiting for a fourth person?’

“No to Arbiter, or Link, Wilson would go mad, it’s not for any of the alts really, so that leaves Harry, Ezio, and RD, and since this is technically a reality-bender thingy, Harry can’t be affected by it, so either Ezio or RD… I’m trying to think of which one would be the better story… COIN FLIP! Heads for Ezio, Tails for RD, because of dat tail.”

“Tails, it goes to Dashie, because in a story where we have to keep just about everything completely organized, the perfect way to make it work is with an important decision being decided by a coin toss… Hmm… I think my GF is here… maybe… gotta go.”

‘Don’t leave! I’m scared… I don’t like being alone! Hello? Oh shit… I think they’re gone furreals!'

“Ugh… what the heck just happened?” Rainbow Dash asked as she stood up with a helping hand.

‘You should have seen John’s face when he woke up with a face covered in cereal, IT WAS HILARIOUS!’

‘Okay, um… I’m new to this… can I get… like… a biscuit call or something?’

‘Piece of shit...I blacked out and fell into my breakfast, and the first thing Granny Smith said to me was ‘Never met a pony that hungry before,’ it was ridiculous.’

‘Master-117… no it John-117 or Master Chief, I got your back RD, and your front, and your sides too if I’ve had some coffee.’

‘I am Justice, and Randomness, AKA the voice in your head, is acting suspiciously civil right now.’

‘You racist, Randomness is Randomness, and he can randomly decide to be good, or evil, either way he’s still fun to be around.’

‘That’s not even racist, that’s going off of the proof he’s presented thus far, that’s a fallacy, a hasty generalization to be specific.’

‘Oh… shots fired, he just countered your insult by making you a part of it, I STILL LOVE THIS GUY!’

‘Anypony noticed that he said that his ‘significance sense’ is tingling?’

‘Ya, and I kinda decided that I should figure out what it is… what is it?’

‘Or maybay I am sen-sang that somethang’s important ‘round these here’s parts of Equasteria.’

Suddenly, a mechanical roaring noise, was heard throughout the town as something approached.

A large technologically modified cart of some sort was barreling down the road, with Wilson and Adam trapped inside.

“THE BRAKES ARE BROKEN! THE BRAKES ARE BROKEN!” Wilson shouted at the top of his lungs to the cafe group as the car passed by in a second.

Nobody present could identify the car, mainly because Ezio and Link had lived in a time prior to cars, and Steve only knew Pandoran cars.

Suddenly, a large humanoid wearing black and blue fell down in front of the speeding vehicle, catching it with his large muscles and using his own additional friction to slow the car down.

The blue paint burned away when a spark from the steaming-hot tires (which was questionable), and it was revealed to actually just be Deadpool forcing the car to a stop.

“PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!” Deadpool screamed as his feet began to leave a bloody trail along the ground, and his feet were soon ground down to his ankles, then his calves, and then to his shins, and finally up to his knees as the car finally ground to halt.

With the car finally stopped, Adam and Wilson stepped out to see Wade on the ground with bloody stumps that reached up to his knees.

“Oh my goodness, what the hell happened to this mook?” Adam looked at the result of the impromptu brake.

“Oh, he does that sometimes… he’ll be fine in a minute.” Wilson assured with a wave of his hand.

“Superman ain’t got nothing on this, dog.” Deadpool said in a gangsta tone.

The gangster used his finger to draw a cross over his chest, in a failed attempt to ward off this demon-like presence.

“Oh right... That’s sciency stuff that I never bothered to remember, my cancer balances it out though.”

“Yeah, but my superpowers that I... got... helped save me, and made me DEADPOOL!!!”

“I found ‘em.” Wade smiled as he ran a hoof over the hood of the car, “An SSC-”

“An SSC Ultimate Aero XT, this is a 2013 model… it has several upgrades from the 2009 version of SSC, it’s top speed is 275 miles per hour.”

“Where did you find those powers?” Wilson wondered, not really paying attention to the car specifics.

“Oh… you poor soul…” Wilson trailed off in a sad tone, and Wade sighed in response.

“Listen, just… you didn’t know… alright? Y’wanna know how I got these scars that you can’t see under my mask butIassureyouthey’retheredon’tthinkforasecondthey’renot.” He said really fast.

“Um… yes?” Wilson said as he raised an eyebrow and scratched the side of his head in confusion.

“Oh… dear lord… is that creature gon-NOPE!” Adam pulled out his Colt M1911 and aimed it at Deadpool.

“Hey, you’re left-handed!” Deadpool noted, not really flinching at Adam’s dangerous act.

“I am left-handed, yes, this is a thing, it is not common, but I am good… you are not really bothered by my pointing a gun at your head?”

“I got a healing factor, I can’t really die by a headshot.” Wade explained.

“Oh… well then…” Adam sighed and surrendered, putting away his M1911 and looking at the car.

“Yes, Wade’s healing factor has helped him a few times, especially that time he was on a wagon that rode off a near-by cliff.”

“I think it was an early 1940’s invention, it’s awesome, I have one in my pad, it’s sweeeeet.” Wade waved gang-signs around.

“Oh… uh… when Adam came around, I remembered… I had my numbers wrong, I’m from 1926, rather than 1962.” Wilson explained.

“Oh… well you missed out on a lot then, bro-ski.” Wade stood up and started sensually rubbing his body on the hood of the car, “This is a badass car though.”

“The problem with this car, is that it requires fuel, as all cars do, and all attempts at finding fuel thus far, much less any car besides this one, have been fruitless.”

“Oh, is it that ‘nightmare fuel’ you mentioned the first night we were here?” Wade said in a cheeky way. “Because that sounds badass.”

“Well, actually, there was some fuel already inside, which helped get it started, but it was on less than ⅛th of a tank, so yes, improvisation, and Wilson had that black jelly substance.”

“It’s Nightmare Fuel, and apparently it’s universal, though the car had orange details when we found it, now those details are red.”

“So, if you need more, you’re going to have to go to the woods, and go insane again?” Wade asked.

“Woods, insane? You both are insane.” Adam said incredulously, not believing how quickly this conversation had swerved to a topic stranger than his cousin’s American trading partner, one young mister Roger Phillips.

“We found the car in the woods, Adam, it was parked next to a tree about five feet into the treeline.”

“Yes, but those woods were bright, cheery, and certainly not maddening.” Adam recalled seeing a deer in there and considering killing it for some quality meat.

“We’re talking about the Everfree Forest, not the Whitetail Woods, dude-ishini.” Wade clarified

“Yes, the Everfree, a dangerous place, where the weather is exactly like the weather back home.” Wilson explained.

“The weather here ain’t like home?” Adam hadn’t noticed, he’d just sort of marvelled at the amazingly accurate ‘weather forecasts’ that were in the newspapers.

“Pegasuseseses control the skies.” Wade pointed upwards, diverting the mobster’s attention to some pegasi moving a few clouds around.

“I was wondering how Miss Rainbow Dash was napping on the clouds, I imagine they are quite soft.”

“I bet, but non-pegasuseseseseses can’t go on them without a spell, and even then, ya gotta get up to them in the first place.”

“Saying it longer isn’t gonna make you more right, dude.” Rainbow Dash finally spoke up, poking her head out from the window of the car, which she had climbed into out of curiosity.

“Well excuse me for forgetting how many syllables are in pegasuseseseseseseseseseseses.”

“So… how do you make this thing work?” Rainbow asked from the front passenger seat.

“Oh, there’s a key in the hole over there, and as long as you have fuel, you can run it. There are pedals that make it go forwards, or backwards.” Wilson explained.

“On base speed, it is so powerful that, in drive, it rolls itself forward at 10mph without braking or gassing it.” Adam noted.

Rainbow grabbed the key and turned it, cranking up the powerful engine and making the supercar roar to life.

Adam quickly got in behind the wheel, “I have a license, Miss Dash, and I am fairly certain that you do not, as there are no automobiles in Equestria.”

“Why do we need a license then if these just came here?” Wade asked, making some nonsensical point, as well as a somewhat plausible argument.

“Driving is not a permission to be allowed, it is a discipline to be learned, if this is the only car in Equestria, I don’t want an unlicensed driver and/or someone who drives like a maniac to crash it through the town hall, that would be bad, as we would not have a car, and there is no replacement for it.”

“Oh poo, I’m a licensed driver, but I’m also a guy who drives like a maniac.” Deadpool pouted.

“I will be sure to give him a call, and a pay-raise if he must deal with you regularly.” Adam laughed, his smooth, light baritone voice with his accent making the laughter sound very insulting.

Harry looked around, blinking for a second as the spell he was casting was interrupted by the *BOOM* of Pinkie’s party cannon as the Element Bearers had their party for Twilight’s birthday.

He had been trying to gather information on the mysterious ‘Michael the Guide’ person from about 40 days ago, but to little success.

“So… Private Potter, am I the only one that finds it odd that the Equestrian calendar has four weeks a month, forty eight weeks a year?” John asked, sitting next to the wizard.

“Well, it is another world altogether. We have to accept that this world does not follow the same trends as Earth.” Harry decided in that moment.

“I understand, but it is a small oddity, and I suppose the small ones are the most interesting, each month is exactly the same, seven days a week, four weeks a month, twelve months a year, forty eight weeks a year, 336 days a year… it’s just really interesting to me.”

“Attention John-117, suit power levels at 31%.” Cortana reported, John still had his helmet with him, as it provided many good benefits.

“What can you use to charge that suit of yours? I don’t think it’ll last much longer at this rate.” Harry asked.

“It’s been four months, just about, it’s designed to last six months without recharging, and there are no electricity chargers that I’ve been able to locate in Equestria, so when the time runs out…” John hated the idea of having to ditch his armor.

“I did, while it gave me ammo and cured a mild neck-ache, the current was much too weak for any sort of reliable charge-up, I laid my suit there for an hour, and it had charged up by 1%.”

“If you, British Pansy, and you, Steel Wall, are done with your chit-chat, I believe it’s time for some dancing!” Soldier grabbed the two by their hands and pulled them up.

With surprising strength, Soldier managed to get John to his feet (or rather, convince him to stand up, and the fact that he was out of armor was a major factor in it.)

Harry was much less problem, and he began dancing the second he stood up, which looked a bit funny, considering that he’d joined the ‘pinstripes club’, alongside Wilson, Adam, and Ezio.

All the club really did was wear pinstripe suits to both formal and casual occasions, Harry had made sure that Adam understood that he wanted no part of his mafia activities.

The party was nice, even Deadpool had decided to cut back on the shouting for this one.

“FOR SHE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW! FOR SHE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW!” Wade screamed out.

“FOR SHE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOOO-OOOOO-OOOOOOOW!!! *a glass shatters* THAT NOPONY CAN DENY!!! WOO!!!”

Adam looked at the somewhat cut up hand that used to hold his glass of scotch, and winced.

“Ow… that was very unnecessary, Miss Pie.” The mobster said as he pointed directly at Link, “You, you go fetch the first aid kit, right now, I’m bleeding.”

Adam went through the process of applying pressure to stop the bleeding, then having Link wrap up the wound tightly, and finally he was done.

“Alright, now… do we have any cups made of that ‘plastic’ stuff? I still want my scotch, and I want it without further injury.” Adam was still thirsty.

Ezio nodded, pulling out a slightly curved dagger and cutting the cake into many squares, giving the biggest piece to Twilight.

“Ahh, good! Everything’s good. We got Sparkle-butt, Sneaky man, Mafia guy, Masky McChatterbox... man I wish Merasmus could see us all hanging out!” Soldier yelled out.

“That automatically makes you better than him, Soldier, because he was caught.” Ezio assured as he ate his own cake.

“He’s in jail because I killed Tom Jones. The heart makes its own rules gentlemen.” Soldier took a sip from his cup. “Mmm, blue punch.”

“It’s a weird sub-plot involving an otherwise mindless game about shooting and killing people… but it’s got a better story that Call of Duty at least.” Deadpool assured.

“I don’t remember.” Soldier replied in a straight tone. “But I remember Miss Pauling helping me make sure that there is nothing to make my life worse. Absolutely not!”

Steve’s ‘formal’ attire was just his normal attire with a top hat added in.

And Soldier just had a Trilby (“It’s a fedora, Spy told me it was a fedora.”) on.

“I AM NOT! YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU MOOK!” For a second, Adam could have sworn that he understood Steve’s speech.

“Yeah, that was not nice Steve.” Wilson said, angry at the former’s rather blatant outburst.

“Hey-hey-hey-yoo, HAAAAAAAAH-YOOOOOOO!” He jumped up and down at pointed at Soldier.

“Heyo...” Steve said meekly, right before running away as Soldier charged at the masked man.

“Oh… OH I GET IT!” Deadpool realized, “Soldier Boy, that old song, I love that song, AAAAAAAHHHH-YOOOOOOU.”

Deadpool pouted, “Why I gotta get-some prude-ass friends?” He sang quietly, crossing his arms and pouting like a child.

“It’s not that we are prude, it is that your normal speech is annoying enough.” Arbiter informed, snarling at the song that had almost been sung.

“Yeah, and to be honest, you’ve kinda got that personality that screams annoying.” Midna said.

“I agree with my favorite coy little imp.” Ezio said, pointing at Midna and nodding to the masked man.

“Frankly Wade, I don’t think there’s anyone more annoying that you.” Link said, bluntly and truthfully.

“Wowwwww… with friends like these… who needs enemies? Mi’rite? Mi’rite.” Deadpool lamented, nodding to himself.

“Face it Wade, the only reason we keep you around is because you’re bloody stuck with us, much to our misfortune.” Harry said as he tried to think of the Silence spell.

“Well… *sob*... FUCK YOU GUYS! I WILL IGNORE ALL OF THAT, AND SAY, LET ME SING, DAMMIT!!!” Wade cried, flipped off every human and humanoid present, and started to run away.

A man in a purple pinstripe suit was there, twirling his cane repeatedly as he tapped his foot to the beat. He smirked and stopped the song abruptly.

“Gentlemen, I am AD17, but that’s a short version. I will not tell you what it stands for, because that would imply that I’m a bigger narcissist than I am acting like now.”

“Halfway. Frankly, you should know at this point that something had to have happened, what with that blue eyed dickwad, and when we left from the lines between the story.”

“Then… wait… did P1 leave because he ended up in some other story then? WHAT’S GOING ON!?!?” Deadpool asked, contemplating running away.

“Codex. By the way, he’s in the other version of Equestria, looking for Fluttershy.” AD17 made a much more comical sneering expression at that thought.

Ezio looked back at the masked maniac the group called ‘friend’ on occasion, noticing his stance.

He looked ready to swing a fist, but was doing little hops on his toes, just as Ezio himself did when he was ready to start fighting.

“At this moment, a more dickish, but benevolent version of Discord.” AD suddenly snapped his fingers, and Soldier’s hat turned into a Ghastly Gibus.

“NOOOOOOOOO!!! MY HAT!!!” Soldier grabbed at his now ruined hat, lamenting at now being Poor and Irish.

“I sorry, I do not know you enough, who are you?” AD asked Wilson, appearing right in front of him.

“I am Wilson Percival Higgsbury, scientist and wizard… I don’t want any part of this craziness.”

“Oh right, P1 mentioned something about not starving. Hmm... Yes...” AD waltzed around the man, then turned towards Rarity.

“Oh, they’re gone. Listen Sparkle-Butt, I gotta go talk to Sun-butt. Later bitches.” AD disappeared in a flash of blue light.

“He did, and it’s kinda weird.” John said as he began a movement to the human’s room, needing his armor in case things got worse.

“Listen, I’m going to take you to the Enderworld place to talk to these Endermen thingys, and maybe this Michael person.”

“Because I’m crazy, and you’re British!” AD did a swish and flick with Harry’s Wand and teleported the messy-haired man out of the world, then came up to Soldier and turned his hat into a magnificent Towering Pillar of Hats with a Green Confetti effect.

“*GASP* I have an American HAT!!! YAAAAAAAAY!” Soldier smiled as AD teleported to Celestia.

-The Ender Castle, infinity time units after the inception of existence-

The End, a place in the center of The Void, while most would see it as a desolate wasteland, it was actually an extremely large town full of commerce, enjoyment, and mind-numbingly amazing art that had been made over the course of hundreds, thousands, millions, or even billions of years, all made by the steady hands of the ageless Endermen.

The stone may have been white, and the sky may have been black, but there were many friendly faces out and around, parks, the friendly Endermen, and the grass was a soft purple-pink color.

Harry took all of this in as he realized that he was standing in the archway of some castle walls.

“Harry Potter, your presence has been requested, please follow me.” An Enderman servant, identifiable by his plain brown robe, directed the Wizard to the interior of the castle.

Inside, he found his breath taken away by the heavenly sight of the most detailed carving he’d ever seen, it depicted thousands of beings on the borders of a city, and then Harry realized that the city in the carving must have been a map of the Ender City.

“Harry Potter, I am Queen Enderia MCMXCIX, or 1999 for short, I was told that you would be arriving soon, please, follow me.” A huge black dragon with a sweet, motherly voice introduced.

Harry shook his head, and wondered what happened back in Canterlot. He simply decided to just walk through the doors.

Inside was what looked like a pretty typical interrogation room at first glance.

Further examination revealed that it too was more art, the table and chairs appeared to have been whittled and ground down into elaborate shapes.

The table’s legs had flared bases that made it look like it was melting into a puddle.

The chairs looked like they were cushions that were held up by the arms of Endermen, the skin made 100% accurately to the skin of real Endermen, almost making Harry think that they’d simply used the severed arms of some Endermen to make it.

Harry sat down in one of the two chairs and waited, thinking over the events in Canterlot.

He figured that the Endermen were a very creative race, or perhaps an ageless race, as it would have taken many millions of years to build a castle of this size with this incredible level of detail.

From the presence of guards, officers, priests, monks, scholars, and more, all just in the castle alone, he knew that these creatures had a complex government that probably held both church and state in equally high value.

He hadn’t seen many muggle weapons like guns, or even cannons, but there was a plethora of sharp and blunt melee weapons of all shapes and sizes, making him think that either they didn’t accept gunpowder, or had advanced past it onto things like energy weapons or something, with the incredible and undeniable power of sword and shield staying in for the long haul.

The doors opened suddenly, and the man he’d been searching for walked into the room.

“Hello Mr. Harry James Potter, I believe it’s time we discuss our current situation.” Michael said.

“Yes, Michael, we should.” Harry replied, ready to speak to this mysterious man.

“We have an Assassin in their base, looking for info too.” Harry lied, hoping to outdo this person’s boast.

“Good, by the way...the Assassin vs Templar endless war? It rages on even in the Equestrian lands?”

“It’s bloody everywhere Michael, same with the Wizards and the Firsts, they are everywhere, and while we aren’t exactly actively seeking out fights against each other, if we meet, we will clash.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s also something to note. But in this dire time, we may need to work together to stop this threat.”

“In the end though, is the villain not destroyed by one final hit?” Harry philosophized.

“Yes, yes he is, but the two important questions are: When will that hit be? And who will deliver it?” Michael asked the hard question, shaking his head with thought.

“Only time will tell... that’s something my good friend Ron once said to me, of course he used it as an excuse to not attend a test back in Hogwarts, but the weight of the situation is still distributed the same.”

“Hehe... Well, most of the Weasley’s aren’t exactly the most... well… um... BUT they do have wise words, nonetheless.”

“Yes, proactive… there is another group that may help or hurt us… two men from Earth Alpha.”

“I’ve heard of the Alphas, we can only hope that their better nature takes hold, and that their haste does not. Else this Organization will surely kill them, and our only lifelines will be cut.”

“Correct, I can only hope that they are safe… at least………… for as long as possible.” Michael had paused for a long while as he felt a sense of importance rising, “I can only hope that our final battle does not resort to the sociological trickle-up theory.”

“We are twelve strong, if this sociological ‘trickle-up’ theory, from what I can infer, were to happen, then the last person left alive would have the strengths of a dozen, how many do you have mate?”

“We are also twelve strong, it is… unfortunate… if our ranks were to diminish, and each of us were to improve as a result… if only we had more time...”

“Well, it’s been four months since the defeat of Discord… so that’s something.”

“I know it has been, but our worlds are out of sync, while you, Wilson, Ezio, Link, Master Chief, and Deadpool, defeated Discord, god-level Avatar of Chaos, we have just defeated King Sombra, a beast of darkness and evil, father of Princess Cadance.” Michael noted, thinking hard.

“I’m the Guide, it’s my job to know, as dictated by the Elder Gods, Gaming God Redigit specifically… you were created by Writing Goddess J.K Rowling…”

“Um… okay…” Harry was weirded out by this, this may have been Deadpool level weirdness, but this wasn’t Deadpool style weirdness.

“In your presence, I am subject to automatically gathering knowledge about the worlds that you present ties to, which means your Earth, and your Equestria.”

“Listen Harry, I have magic as you do, but I am not a Wizard, I am technically classified as a First… being an NPC before, and becoming a Player a yesterday… it is amazing that all that has happened to my group has happened over the span of one day.”

“If you suppose that trickle-up theory is correct, can you count on us to be the only ones remaining?”

“I can tell that the purple-suited man known as AD17 is not intending to do evil, all he really wants is to make a story… and I think our alliance would add a nice bit of twist to it, no?” Michael held out his hand.

“Yes… alright, I’ll do it… if it’ll get me back home faster…” Harry shook Michael’s hand.

Together, the two got some officiated Endermen Transporters to send them back to their respective Equestrias.

-Canterlot Castle Throne Room-

“Yeah, he’s more dickish than Dick-world and me combined, and we’re dicks.” AD17 told Celestia, sitting with his cane in a cross-legged position.

“I see... and what’s his power like?” She hadn’t really interacted much with him during his time in Equestria, though that may have been for the best.

“I... haven’t decided yet. I know he’s smart, deceptive, and he’s suave enough to seduce even the most asexual person to bed.”

“Oh my, with a set of skills like that, and an intent for evil, he could seize as much power as he wanted.” Celestia thought of the only other person with power-draining abilities she knew of, Tirek.

“He’s also the son of Lucifer. Don’t know why he has such a bad relationship with his dad.” AD pouted, mad that he was supposed to know everything about Damon, but didn’t.

“Lucifer is Lawful Evil, as opposed to his brother Satan, who is Chaotic Evil.” Celestia recalled the infernal tales.

“Yes, Damon’s very Lawful in the morality thingy. His regime is one that bigots hate the most.” AD17 absentmindedly twirled his cane around a couple times.

“He charges the minor bigots, imprisons the moderate bigots, and kills the extreme bigots.”

“Oh dear mother… that’s… well…” Celestia found herself hard-pressed to explain the evil in that.

“I understand your reluctance, his way of doing things is... weird. At least he’s better than Hitler.”

“Um… in the royal kitchen.” Celestia pointed in the general direction it was in.

“Oh… well.” Celestia could hardly speak, as she was still processing all of this.

“Yeah, by the way, have you met the new humans?” AD asked, floating in the air.

“Soldier, Adam, Blue, Midna, Steve, and Arbiter? Yes.” Celestia recalled meeting the new six humans to evaluate their threat-level towards Equestria.

“Well… Blue, Midna, and Arby’s aren’t really humans, per-se... frankly, I’m surprised Doomguy’s not here.”

“He died from a freak meteor shower or some fuckery like that, it’s fucking bullshit!” AD had a look of anger and annoyance.

“Oh, Tia, don’t be so fearful of me, I’m a dick, not a villain. Try reforming Discord, he’ll become like me.” AD said smugly.

Celestia had thought of that, but the idea seemed far-fetched and not likely to work.

“Hmm… it could work… it could work quite well, I’ll have him over in less than a week’s time.” Celestia assured.

“Where the f...” The Hispanic one said, also stopping when he saw his surroundings.

“You two, I won something, now go on and try to find the others, chop-chop!” AD17 clapped his hands as Dmitri Vulakh and Romero Lopez shook their heads, and walked away, muttering something about ‘Awesomedude17 being a crazy dickwad.’

In another part of the castle, Link and Ezio dropped down into a hallway, right on top of some guards.

“Oh hey… you’re that Ezio human, you’re pretty famous here in the castle.” The guard remembered hearing the maids talking about the ‘charming Istalian human’ all the time.

Link rolled his eyes, then noticed yet another human walk towards the two, armed with a shotgun of some sort.

“Listen comrades, I do not want conflict, I am just under orders from a reality warper, who I hate.”

“Well, while I would much rather see what the maids in the castle are so avidly on about when it concerns me, I would rather talk to the psychopath than possibly ‘get laid’ as Deadpool says.”

“I do not discriminate when it comes to the micia, amico, I never discriminate with anything.” Ezio’s only prejudices were towards Templars. In all other occasions, he was okay with everyone and everything unless physically, morally, or principally threatened.

“Ezio, they aren’t exactly...” Link decided to let it go, whenever Ezio started speaking his ‘Italian’ ‘Whatever that’s supposed to mean.’ words, that usually meant that he was going to do whatever he wanted, and nobody could influence him to do otherwise without a fight of words and/or blood.

“Listen, the superpowered sociopath wants you both, are you coming?” The man said, clearly annoyed.

“Good. My name’s Dmitri, I come from another world that AD apparently controls.” Dmitri said as he led the two down the hall.

“Oh, from the past. Sounds reasonable that you may have never heard of guns before we came here forcibly.” Dmitri said as he shouldered his shotgun and opened up the doors to the next stretch of hallway

“My experiences with Deadpool and Master Chief have told me enough about guns to know that they are dangerous, loud, and painful.”

Ezio sighed, he’d really wanted to go check out the maids, and his mind filled with the possible images of them.

Steve, Arbiter, and Chief were outside of the castle, waiting for Blue, Adam, and Wilson to reach the rendezvous point.

“Alright me, listen up, we’re dealing with what is essentially a more proactive form of Discord, and we don’t have any Elements of Harmony to help us now.” Chief said.

“Good. Let’s go on and give this AD17 a good whupping!” Wilson said, holding out his Light sword.

“Nobody fucks with the mafia and gets away with it.” Adam said angrily as he loaded his Tommy Gun.

The group turned to the Latino sounding voice, and saw a man in military type camouflage walking towards them, gun held up high in one arm.

“Heaven or hell, I’ll break out either way.” Blue said as he aimed towards the man.

“Listen, AD told me to get you, and if you want to kill him, be my guest amigos!” Romero sighed. “I fucking hate the bastard, man!”

“Hmm… Chief, how does one win in a situation like this?” Blue asked, keeping his SBC-SR trained on Romero.

“Good to see one of you is willing to work with me. Frankly, the sooner I can get back to the Valor boot camp, the better.”

“Then I won’t keep your manager waiting, but I’m keeping my rifle in my hands, Blue lowered his SBC-SR and walked closer to the man.

“Do not mention it, that is how the book characters always get screwed over.” Adam chastised.

All of a sudden, his immaculately tailored pinstripe suit, which he’d valued more than his ten best whores, was suddenly transformed into a brightly colored clown suit, a garishly light blue and painfully vivid yellow, his ‘smart folk’ glasses had been transformed into facepaint and a big red nose, and his worn-out fedora, its state showing how long he’d lived in the Mafia, was turned into a poofy, bright red afro wig.

“You were saying?” AD said, smirking as Adam tried to rip off the horrid outfit.

“YOU WON’T GET AWAY WITH THIS! EITHER YOU CHANGE IT BACK OR I’LL CUT OUT YOUR TONGUE!” The wizened mobster shouted, so fed up that he flicked his wrist.

*shing* A blade popped out from under the saggy cuff of the overly puffy sleeves.

He cut off the cotton/plastic/whatever-the-fuck-it-was outfit, revealing that he mercifully still had his undershirt and boxers on.

A sleek, non-reflective golden casing was fixed to a thick, black silk sleeve, the blade itself was coated in a non-stick substance, and a strange sort of mechanism attached to the casing looked to be the thing that made it work like it did, the technology looked a lot more advanced than what the 1920s could offer, however.

But as Ezio had informed them all, the Assassins are always about four steps ahead in technology.

“Um… I’ve never seen one up close like this.” Wilson said, leaning in to get a closer look at the hidden blade.

“Oh dios mio…” He said, sheathing the blade and hiding it behind his back, having no other option.

“You… you’re an Assassin too?” Blue asked, unsheathing his own blade, made of carbon-steel with one side serrated.

“...Yes… okay? I am, this wasn’t supposed to happen, I should have kept my cool… and now you know the truth.” He sighed, sounding dejected.

“Listen soldier, none of us care, we’ve pretty much learned from dealing with Deadpool, it doesn’t really matter what you do or what you are, just as long as you’re on our side.” John assured

“Just look at me, the way things used to be, John would have killed me on sight, but now the Covenant and the UNSC are in alliance.” Arbiter added, putting a comforting, if weird-feeling, four-fingered hand on Adam’s shoulder.

“I don’t really care either way, I need to get out the sun ASAP, so follow me.” Romero led the group.

“Heyoo.” Well, he himself wasn’t albino, but he’d met albino people before.

“I agree friend.” Wilson said as he felt his sanity draining from the dread of having to talk to another reality warper.

‘Oh no... Not again.’ Wilson thought with dread, hearing the whispering again.

“Oh, you can! Vunderbar!” The voice suddenly tripled in strength and clarity, establishing itself as a permanent entity (until removed, that it), “I am Doktor Edward Richtofen. I’ve looked for someone to contact for so long, und you are ze one. Too bad you are on ze wrong plane of reality, I could’ve used you. Pity.”

“But, I digress. You still have some use, und I can fully expect you to fulfil mien backup plan in case my first one, vell... blows up in mien face, as ze saying goes. Haha!”

“Vilson... Ja, I zink I can help you, just keep yourself a little under half-sane until you’ve done your duty. First off, you vill need a Tesla coil, und Element 115!”

“Zose blueprints in your inventory, I can read ze German one. Ze Wunderwaffe DG-2 is my greatest creation, und for it to be remade, better und more powerful ze ever! It vill aid in my revival to ze physical realm! So, vhat are you doing listening to voices in your head, GET TO IT, SVINEHUND!!!”

Wilson swatted at the air above his head, narrowly suppressing the urge to run away screaming.

“Those assholes… I guess they really don’t want me to sing then… I’m sorry for doing this so soon orange voice, but I’m switching sides, starting with this…” He jumped off the edge.

‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!’

“What the he-BLOODY HELL-*BLARG*” Harry threw up at the disgusting smell and sight of Deadpool’s organs and bones flattened into the ground.

-Purgatory, between death and the afterlife-

“Hey babe.” He knew what Death felt like, she felt nice, kinda soft and squishy.

“I… fell… off a cliff…” Wade cried a few tears, “All my so-called ‘friends’ turned out to be assholes… all of them… even… well maybe not Steve, but he sided with them anyways… *sob sob sob*”

Death merely rubbed Deadpool’s back and head as he faded away, knowing that any of the usual conversation wouldn’t be appropriate at this time.

The puddle made of Deadpool shrank and reformed upwards into the mouthy merc, he clenched his fists and pulled out a pair of silver Forty Knocks/Fort Inox Blowouts, aka a pair of 40mm caliber handguns.

He turned around at the sound of retching, and found Harry standing in front of a puddle of vomit.

“Y’know, I thought we could be friends, like D-Pooley and a bunch of Cables, y’know, I thought you might have been able to pull me to the fixing point, and I could be Chaotic Good instead of Chaotic Neutral… but instead you pushed me to the breaking point, and now I’m going to be Chaotic Evil… goodbye, you asshole wanker, wanker of assholes.” Deadpool took aim at Harry.

“Protego!” He cast, using the Elder Wand, as his own had been taken by AD.

A screen of intense air distortion appeared in front of him, and the massive bullet ricocheted off it.

Harry was fearful, if Deadpool had really gone evil, then he wouldn’t stop until Harry was dead.

The brit looked around, and found Deadpool standing several feet away at an angle from which Harry wasn’t protected.

He wasn’t under any obligation to not use any of the three unforgivable curses.

And the name of the unforgivable curse that Harry had been through personally, the one that he feared even more that the Killing curse.

Just as Voldemort had, Harry raised his wand, and just like Harry had been so unprepared when on the receiving end, before Deadpool could do anything to defend himself, before he could even move…

The pain was so intense, so all-consuming, that Wade no longer knew where he was... white-hot knives were piercing every inch of his skin, he felt that his head was surely going to burst with pain; he was screaming more loudly than he'd ever screamed in his life.

He reappeared right behind Harry, took off the wizard’s glasses, and then snatched the Elder Wand.

Mostly blinded and unable to use magic, Harry was easy to knock out. AD17 then walked over to the writhing merc.

“And to think my alternate self raised him up to be a nice boy!” Wade whined.

“Listen Wade, I know you feel alone, but listen, everyone treats you like shit...”

“Let’s be frank, these guys hate your personality, but deep down, they do care for you.”

“I don’t think so!” Wade pouted and turned away from the purple-wearing lunatic.

“I do think so. You’re useful, and beside, I can see you being of such great use later, that they’ll cheer your name from here on out!”

“Shit yeah, let’s go!” AD17 took Wade and Harry and teleported them to the throne room.

“Whatever.” AD used his magic to summon a brand new suit for Adam, and bring his aged fedora back as well. Content, the group soon went into the Throne room.

-Canterlot Castle Throne Room-

Celestia watched as AD brought in the twelve humans, and stood up when he turned to her.

“With pleasure.” AD spun his cane and summoned a mini-window in space and time.

“You see, there is this thing called the multiverse. Where if it can be thought up, it exists.” AD explained as he showed Maxworld in its natural state during summer.

“Yes…” Deadpool and Harry remarked in unison, turning to each other in surprise.

“Because I didn’t, I just figured that Einstein was correct.” AD replied, shrugging.

“No… he was talking to me, and I learned from another wise man known as Michael, he’s in another Equestria, where twelve more humans reside in wait for battle with our enemy.” Harry revealed.

“Ah, yes...” David showed Terraria in the window. “That genius from that 2D world. Kinda smartassish if you ask me.” David then showed another world, a bustling metropolis known as Liberty City.

“Is Liberty City, from a gritty world of crime, debauchery, and cheap entertainment.” AD then showed Los Santos.

“That kinda reminds me of California, I vacationed there once in my youth.” Wilson remarked.

“I suppose you could say that.” David then changed different angles of the city.

“Dios Mio, this is...” Ezio trailed off, entranced in awe by the miracles of architecture.

“OH SHIT!!!” The man grabbed at the curtains, then found himself getting tangled, and fell.

AD then tilted the window forward, and it fell, shattering on impact with the floor.

“Hm, what of the modern day? I understand much has occurred since my time.” The Assassin requested.

“And the architecture certainly looks the same as the last time I was there.” Deadpool said.

“Those cars… they look good… good enough to steal.” Adam licked his lips and twiddled his hands.

AD then switched to a picture of a world with zombies running around a burning wasteland.

“Oh, this isn’t one of your places. Here, Nazis made zombies, zombies grew numerous, people on the moon blew up Earth, it’s complicated really. I blame Germany though.”

“Oh, zat asshole, eet’s not Germany’s ‘fault’, it’s mein own beautiful creation.”

“Firstly, I must inform you, sir, that I am in my mid-30s, and secondly, nothing is wrong, other than the sight of this… place.” Wilson couldn’t believe that something had gone so wrong in a place that would typically be quite normal.

“I’m a demigod, so all of you are boys to me, also, this place is doomed either way, we got this guy-” AD showed a picture of a bearded man. “-who wants to blow up Earth, and then we got-” AD then showed the face of Richtofen. “-this guy, who wants to make the world his bitch.”

“Ja, it’s true. Dr. Maxis must not be allowed to gain enough power. Ze world is better of vith me at it’s helm, Ja? Look at mein beautiful face.”

“Vilson, you are ze only one who can build ze Wunderwaffe, und you can control ze elements of nature vith ze devices I can help you vith. At least be grateful!”

‘And I am, I really am… it’s just… not that I don’t appreciate you, it’s just that you’re a bit ugly, I will build the Wunderwaffe though.’

“Zank you Wilson, also... look at zis man, Dempshey first before you judge. He’s very ugly, ja? HA HA HA HA!”

‘Hehe, I don’t think you were watching when I accidentally walked in on Deadpool showering, I nearly threw up at the time… it was bad, but I look back on it, and now it’s funny.’

“Pretty much. I feel sorry of the poor shlups who have to die either way.” AD then moved on to the next world, Hyrule.

“We knew that, we can read the narration… or at least I can.” Deadpool said, looking two lines above.

“One sec.” AD then caused the world to take on a blue hue, and time seemed to stop in its tracks.

“I froze this world, trust me, they’ll thank me later when you have to come back to save the world, that’s what these stories always do.” David then switched to 2fort, in the midst of battle.

“YEAH! GO FRENCHY!“ Soldier shouted to the BLU Spy disguised as a RED Spy, who dropped a knife he had ready.

It was at that moment that a RED Sniper turned around, and noticed the supposed ‘RED’ Spy, who then glared at the window, and Soldier looking through it.

“SPY! JARATE!” Sniper then threw the Jarate at the spy, and took out a Bushwacka.

“We can only see and hear through it, genius. And now your partner is covered in piss, and probably dead.”

“I watched you regrow your goddamn LEGS, you RED scum, how is a Respawn considered hax when compared to that?!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be stupid?” AD noted Soldier’s rather smart moment.

“It’s on and off, most of the time I’m brilliant, but other’s just don’t know it.”

“HEY! I have to admit, that even a broken clock is right twice a day… or was it a fixed clock is wrong twice a day? I don’t know… hmmm...” Soldier put a hand to his chin in thought.

“Did The Dude already come through here? I don’t know.” AD shrugged and turned to the next world.

“The UNSC Mothership… damn.” Chief lamented, thinking about the good times.

“Well, there’s also another economic sink after the one in ‘29.” AD said.

“I’m from ‘28… SHIT!” Adam immediately began to dread the future when he got back.

“To visit the stars? Amazing, I was not aware there was even a way to visit the clouds.” Ezio looked at the constellations in the background wishing to sketch them for reference.

The window showed a balding, filthy man walking down an empty hallway with some black man, who seemed to be a mutant, and they both turned towards the window at the sound of it opening on their side.

“Is that… some sort of… HOLY SHIT, ANOTHER PRINCESS PONY!” Trevor pointed at Celestia.

“From another dimension, you Canadian motherfucker.” AD insulted the balding man.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME!?” Trevor exploded, having been dealt a double whammy that had put him into an unstoppable rage.

“FUCK YOU, YOU CUNT!!!” Trevor flipped off the men and tried to punch through the window.

Deadpool, using his ‘4th Wall Immunity’, reached through the window and caught the fist, pushing Trevor back.

“Don’t worry, I can fix this.” Wade took Trevor’s hand again, and climbed through the window with the methhead in tow.

With Wade through, the dirty man then proceed to beat him up, eventually moving on to repeatedly stomping on the man’s head, all while repeatedly yelling out the word ‘cunt’ over and over again.

“Well, we’ll just have to find him, eventually.” Harry said with little hope.

“Yeah, I suppose. But for now, let’s move on to Damon, the guy who’s fucking with you guys.” AD then changed to a still of Damon from a projector he summoned.

“So did I, but I’m sure Sunbutt here saw him, like, millenia ago, meanwhile I saw him about four months ago.” Blue replied.

“Yes, this guy is the most charismatic, powerful, and intelligent tyrant you’ll ever meet, and he’s pretty mean if you’re against him.”

“He sounds dangerous… but I want Celestia to explain her knowledge on him.” Ezio evaluated.

“He is dangerous.” AD then changed to a still of the world he controlled. “This is what he’s done after he left, by the way.”

“Dear mother… that’s even worse than the works of Discord and Sombra combined.”

“Yep.” The still was of a regime of controlled civilians, with many being weeded out by the apparent officers.

“Of course, those guys are assholes who deserved it, so...” AD slammed the tip of his cane onto the ground.

“Explain, now!” Ezio shouted, readying his stance, standing with both arms half-raised and doing small hops to stay flighty, while Blue aimed the SBC-SR.

Link had his shield half-forward and his sword held back, while Midna prepared the Twilight Crystal to zap AD to death.

John and Arbiter readied their weapons, John with an Assault Rifle, Arbiter with a Gravity Hammer.

Harry looked at Soldier, who aimed his Direct Hit at AD, and decided to cast a wandless spell.

“Accio Elder Wand.” The large, powerful wand flew into his hand, and he aimed it at the demi-god.

AD simply snapped his fingers, and everyone’s weapons were transformed into exaggerated toy versions of their weapons.

“Say please, and maybe I’ll answer, dickwads.” AD then snapped his fingers to change his clothing to a more modern type of clothing, with a purple v-neck, and blue jeans with blue sneakers.

“Please… answer.” Adam asked, putting away his large-SMG-turned-toy into his jacket.

“Thank you!” AD then changed the weapons back, and began to explain the time Damon spent in Equestria.

“You see, thousands of years ago, before Discord and this guy, Sombra came to the picture, Damon found himself with his crew in Equestria. Back then, he was basically less influential than he is now. The most he did was rob big chain banks and assassinate high profile businessmen.”

“Yes, before you learned, however, he found himself meeting this guy, Scorpan, and befriended him.” AD changed the still to a picture of Scorpan, accompanying Damon during some kind of journey.

“Damon was a pragmatic person, he didn’t even plan to attack anyone, simply to go back home. However, he then noticed how... perfect this world was.”

“He’s a demon… of a sort, and so he, by his own need, desired to corrupt anything perfect.” Celestia said with an angry tone.

“Actually, he did those things so you’d banish him to Tartarus, so he’d be able to get back into his world, and change the world into one with the same ideals as yours, or at least try.”

“If you simply decided to kill him then, he would not be a problem, at all.” AD pointed out, matter-of-factly. “And because he saw how perfect this world was, he decided to try and make the world he lived in to a close enough copy. We can all see how well this is going, right?”

“I… I was so close too… he… he killed…” Celestia began to tear up, if anyone would ask, she would tell them ‘It’s a sore subject’.

“So... basically... he’s after us because...” Wilson did not want to believe it.

“He’s after you because you killed a few of his troops, and discovered Agent 4, the woman.” The still was now of Agent 4 herself.

“Damon, or ‘Big Boss’ as I had to call him, is very protective of his troops, mainly because if they die, then that’s a huge investment gone down the drain.” Blue remembered that bit.

“Emotional and Economical. ‘Condition One,’ the guy who attacked you, is the most expensive in the economic sense. However, he’s an asshole to most people, and as such, is less expensive in the emotional sense.”

“I looked into his eyes… if not for my enchantment, he’d have the worst pair of eyes in the Organization.”

“And he managed to counter those special, special eyes too.” AD pouted, shaking his head.

“No… he just didn’t look directly at them, the only one the enchantment doesn’t affect is Damon… though I might be wrong.”

“Oh, trust me, he did, and he managed to avoid the mind-rape. You know why? Because he’s insane and malicious! More-so than Deadpool at his worst.” AD patted the Assassin on his head like he would to a pet.

“I would’ve said you can’t break something that’s already broken, but that works too.”

“Well, that’s why you can’t break the mind of a psychopath, ‘because it’s already broken… so… that means that Wade has a bit of sanity left in him.” Wilson deduced.

“Oh forsooth, and in the eve, doth the light catch mine Lady Death, and illuminate her cleavage, which I doth desire to motorboat the shit out of.” Wade prosed with several waving and flourishing motions befitting of the greatest of Shakespearean actors.

“How’d you come back?” Soldier asked Wade, not flinching at the sudden entrance.

“I was here a second ago, but I’m stuck over here…” Wade was behind a window, and he tapped on it, unable to get through, “This one is covered in glass, and it’s too small for me to squeeze through.”

“Uno momento, por favor!” AD then snapped his finger, and Wade was now on the other side of the window.

“Awww… but I liked the shiny city, I could’ve harvested that shit and made millions!” Wade protested, trying to get back through by breaking the glass in the way.

“AwwwwwwwWWWWWW!” The merc whined, pouting and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Wait, was he in...” Celestia knew of only one city that was shiny and could be harvested for money.

“An alternate Equestria, in the future, Princess Sunbutt, I’ll explain later.” AD clicked his tongue and leaned towards the princess.

“*snicker* Sunbutt...” Wilson tried not to laugh. It was more difficult that it looked.

“Oh… shit… I feel like something’s about to happen.” Deadpool looked around, feeling something oncoming.

“All of this came from greed, goddammit FiM!” Wade yelled out as he looked on.

“This is why I don’t like stealing.” Wilson said as aimed the half-powered Wunderwaffe at Spike.

“That is where you and I differ, brother.” Adam said as he rolled his left cuff up once and unsheathed his hidden blade.

“I have to agree with Adam there, amico.” Ezio said as he joined his fellow Assassin and climbed up Spike’s back.

Chief was thrown off, but Ezio and Adam, with their more specialized techniques, held fast, and took Chief’s combat knives.

“Specialis Revelio.” The Wizard cast, knowing that this was going to be a big fight.

Immediately, all of Spike’s attention was practically forced towards Link, who raised his shield in defiance.

Spike merely reached down and tried to rip it out of Link’s hand, resulting in the warrior being lifted up to eye-level.

Link looked into Spike’s eyes, his own filled with despisal towards the evil the dragon had embraced. As Spike breathed smoke in the elf’s face, an X-shaped scar on his left cheek from a training accident showed more prominently amongst his slightly grayed skin.

“I FEEL LIKE ANOTHER FORCED CROSSOVER IS ABOUT TO BE ADDED!” Deadpool said as he strafed Spike with dual Barrett M82s.

Link frowned, thinking of draconian words, and considering the wisdom of shouting such words into the dragon’s face as it held him forty feet above the ground with its fire-breathing mouth on level with his face, he instead settled on throwing his sword into Spike’s mouth.

“GAAAAHHH!” The dragon yelled as his mouth was filled with pain from the divine sword’s evil-destroying power.

He spat it out, watching as Link caught it again, the handle nearly slipping away due to the added slickness of Spike’s saliva, but stopping because of the pommel. Link frowned at having to hold a spit-slicked sword, but put away his minor disgust in order to do what he needed to do.

“YAAA-AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!” Link shouted at the top of his lungs as he was launched across the town.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” A distant girly scream sounded out through the otherwise silent (except for Spike’s rampage) town.

“Rarity’s been foalnapped!” AD yelled out, waiting for the resolution to happen by itself.

Link raced back to the center of town, but to his dismay, Spike had walked away and began climbing a nearby mountain after stealing the water tower’s top and putting his stuff in it.

“Uh, AMICO, HELP!” Ezio called out as he and Adam were carried away, still clinging to Spike’s back.

“Quickly Link, we must SAAAAAAAAVE THE DAAAAAY for those two!” Deadpool yelled out as he grabbed Link by the arm and began to run towards the dragon.

“Wade, I’m going to need you to launch one of those RPG things, I will hookshot onto it and be flown onto Spike’s back, ready?”

“Alright bro-ski.” Wade pulled out his RPG-7 and aimed at a portion of Spike’s back that was clear.

*CLICLICLICLICLICLI-CLUNK* The Hookshot grabbed the RPG, and Link was carried with it.

*BOOM* it blew up against the purple beast’s back, and Link quickly latched onto the scales and began climbing.

“That was some amazing skill there, Green Person.” Adam said, admiring Link’s skill.

“OH! Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you at first with the change of clothes.” The mobster sheepishly smiled in embarrassment, looking down at the ground, which was getting further away.

Link looked around, and figured out how to ‘MacGyver’, as Deadpool called it, his way out.

“Okay, I will use a bomb to propel us towards that nearby lake, you two will need to… no wait, that won’t work, we’ll still be too far away, even with this height… shit.” Link cursed as he mentally facepalmed.

Link thought, he thought hard, they would all surely die if he didn’t think of something, and very, very soon.

“Link… play the ocarina thing, it has power in it, and maybe you can think of something.”

You played: The Serenade of Water.

Spike’s body suddenly shrank to its normal size, right as blue sparkles shot out of the small blue instrument and absorbed the three Assassins.

As Spike and Rarity fell, Link, Ezio, and Adam were safely deposited in front of the lake.

“To be honest, I didn’t expect that to work.” Link admitted, looking at the ocarina.

His ears were filled with wind for a few seconds, and when he felt like muttering something, he suddenly he felt himself being shaken.

“Link, Link, amico you’ve been staring at that instrument for almost three minutes now.” Ezio said as he shook his fellowman into awareness.

“Huh?” The green-clad man hadn’t noticed the time progression, and shook his head to clear it, “Sorry, I blanked out for a bit there.”

“I would say so too.” Adam nodded to Link as he began walking back towards town, his hands in his pockets.

Ezio gave Link a pat on the shoulder and began the parkour process back to Ponyville.

“Not to be a jerk, or anything, but you three need to come to town, now, and help us fix it up, AGAIN!!!” AD groaned as he held some 2x4s and a toolbox in his arms.

“Oh, RD and Fluttershy took care of those two, by the way, come on! The sooner we finish, the sooner we can be lazy jack-offs.”

“I feel like something was left behind… I’m going to go check out the area over there, I’ll join you when I get back.”

“Alright, but I’m going to kick you in the ass if you don’t show up.” AD said as he teleported to Ponyville.

Link quickly made his way back to the mountain, and found a large chest sitting on the ground.

Inside was a deep red scale mail tunic, with a pair of silver scale gauntlets, gold scale-soled boots, dark brown scale leggings and sleeves, a steel-colored scale undershirt, but no helmet.

He picked up the suit, finding it to be mostly made of actual scales, from dragons.

YOU GOT: The Draconic Armor

This armor protects you from cold, fire, electricity, poison, and pretty much all elements.

It appears to be made from the scales of many dragons, and lacks the color blue, which denotes that it won’t keep you breathing underwater.

You however become a lot slower the more rupees you have, so keep your wallet as empty as needed.

Don’t fall into the temptations of greed.

Link was relieved to find a purple scalemail helmet with a pair of curved green dragon horns on the sides (like a recolor of the Dovahkiin helmet).

The armor vanished and appeared into the fifth armor slot in his inventory, leaving only one suit left.

He looked at the symbol on his armor screen, and found that each of the suits was surrounding a Triforce with a flowery circle around it.

“If I’d had to guess, I’d say that each armor corresponds to an element, and the last armor corresponds to Spirit… the Desert People, Ganondorf’s people.” He calculated, looking at the empty slot with anxiety.

“And power… I wonder what that has to do withhhh… no time for this right now, I need to help with the town’s reparations.”

Link switched back to his Twilight Armor, which he’d found gave him a speed boost at the cost of stability, and ran back to town.

-In the Middle of Winter-

Everyone was on a train ride towards Canterlot, where there was supposed to be...

“Yes, a play about how Hearth’s Warming Eve came to be.” Twilight explained to the humans.

“Yes, I remember making a universe where a shrieking robot tried to do that to Rarity, except she already knew, and the robot was just making it up on the fly.” AD17 explained as he looked out the window.

“Sounds dreadful.” The mare in question replied, wearing a christmas tree hat.

“Oh trust me, you got the guard while it was talking, you didn’t remember a thing, although you did beat up a robotic turkey.”

“Yeah... I like to bring the craziest of crossovers to reality at some point.”

“And make two stories that you ended up canceling, jerkface.” Deadpool glared at the author.

Rainbow Dash, who had sworn up and down that she could have flown to Canterlot and back by now, looked outside to confirm.

“Yeah! Come on train, speed up! I can hardly wait to check out what the city looks like this time of year.” She whooped.

“WHOO-WEE!” Applejack shouted, stopping for a second to cough, “Canterlot, HERE WE COME!”

Rarity adjusted her massive tree-shaped hat, “Oh I do hope I look festive enough, can anyone offer a second opinion?”

“LOOKS LIKE CHRISTMAS!” Soldier assured, wearing a pair of reindeer antlers.

“Whitey here made them, they look AMAZING! A WONDERFUL HAT!” Soldier informed.

“Yes, it takes a while to find genuine, cruelty-free antlers from deer who don’t really need them.” Rarity said, beaming with proudness.

“I was informed that these were stuffed felt… BUT REAL STUFF IS EVEN BETTER!” Soldier whooped.

“Oh, well... erm...” Rarity felt confused at whether to be angry, or annoyed.

“Yes, only I get to be a cultured dick, my dear boy!” AD said as he dressed up in some kind of stereotypical rich man’s clothes.

“Hearth’s Warming is essentially just the pony equivalent of Christmas, you know, I told you the story.”

“Oh yeah, of the heroic Jesus guy who fought the evil people, and then they captured and staked him in the end, but he turned it around on them with his cool holy powers, and humans were cursed with consciences and senses of honor.” Arbiter recalled very, very inaccurately.

“Well… I mean… you’ve stayed on our side throughout the past… six months, so I would say that you’re quite good people.”

“Yeah, but you all remember what I said about Trevor, right?” AD asked as everyone, especially Deadpool, remembered Trevor’s... colorful response.

“That guy was the worst kind of dick, one that’s uncut and uncensored.” Deadpool scowled under his mask.

This added pretty much all of the Mane 6, as well as Chief, Arbiter, Steve, and Soldier.

“Dammit Wade, now I’m gonna have nightmares for weeks.” Rainbow complained.

“FARORE-DAMMIT DEADPOOL, SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Midna yelled, narrowly fighting back the urge to vomit, using her hair-hand thing to hold Wade’s mouth shut.

He opened it and stepped out, immediately getting thrown along the ground by the leftover momentum from the train and stopping a few feet away from where the train-car stopped.

With dozens of broken bones, several square feet of skin sheared off, and trail of blood a hundred feet long, Wade stood up.

“I’m fine, it’s okay.” He assured the many high-class ponies looking at him in shock and disgust.

“OH SHIT! NONONONONONONONONOOOOOOOOO!” He ran to the discarded piece of red and black cloth laying on the snow-covered ground.

“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT NOOOO, DON’T LOOK!” He shouted as he hastily tried to put his mask back on, ending up with it backwards.

“Oh dear...” Wilson muttered as he saw the sad sight of a desperate man trying to put his facade up again.

Finally, by the time he’d properly re-applied his mask, most of the others had seen his abysmal face.

‘Gee, that’s wonderful, does that mean your going to start acting like a dick?’

‘Good, I don’t want some other shit going on in my head, I like you, Justice.’

Chief finally caught up with Wade, who was hiding in a dark alleyway and crying.

“They all saw it…*sniff*... MY SHAME!” He hammily lamented as he picked up a discarded napkin and held it up to the light.

“Wade… stop, just stop. If we were going to leave you over something as pointless as how you look under your mask, then we’d have left you a long time ago for something a lot less secretive.” John pointed out, taking off his own helmet to make things a bit more personal.

“No… nobody gives a shit, the rest of you pretty much drowns out all the worry about your scarred face.”

“Oh… JOY!” Deadpool jumped ten feet into the air and hugged John as tightly as he could.

Chief held him at bay for a few seconds, then decided that it wasn’t really worth it, and hugged him back.

“ALRIGHT! LET’S GO WATCH THAT PLAY!” Deadpool shouted as he over-dramatically led the way.

“Uh… Wade, the Royal Auditorium is this way.” John pointed the opposite way the mouthy merc was going.

“I KNEW THAT… I was just… taking the scenic route!” Wade lied, turning around, “But I suppose TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! SO MAKE PASTE!” He said, running down the street.

“It’s MAKE HASTE!” John shouted after him as he sprinted after the psychopath.

“THAT TOO!” Wade shouted back, somehow running while bent over backwards to look at John.

"Chief, warning, suit power levels at 5%, all radar and HUD functionalities disabled to preserve battery life.’"

He stopped and spun around, catching the Organization Assault Agent by the foot and crushing it into bits.

"Chief, suit power levels at 8%, whatever this agent is doing, it’s helping us more than hurting us."

“HQ, I’m about to die, and one last report, they have AD17, they know CO, an unknown amount of information is compromi-GAH!” The electricity expert found himself choked to near death.

“Voice changers, dumbass… prepare for the storm, we’ve seized the ‘Taint Master’, as he’s known.”

“Son of a bitch… and there’s no frequency module on this… Damon’s people plan too far ahead… DAMMIT!” Chief broke the useless device and looked into Thladimir’s dim eyes.

“What’s that thing Ezio says?... Requiescat en Pace.” Chief ripped the agent’s head off, then unloaded all of the electricity capacitors into his own armor.

“Would you like me to run a database scan, to see if we have any information on this ‘taint master’?”

“Yes, but do it very efficiently.” He needed to preserve as much power as possible.

“Hey, Chief, just read your run in with that electro-dude.” Deadpool said as he showed this exact page to Chief from his laptop.

“Thor is a guy who‘s like Luna, but with storms and shit instead of nighttime.”

“Thor… Asgard… Mjolnir… I know the tales, my armor is named after his hammer.”

“Iron Man-Dude-Bro, he’s like me, but he’s really self-centered and self-praising, and an asshole sometimes. He had a run-in with Thor once…”

“I might… but I’m kinda worried about how Thor pertains to this ‘Taint Master’ guy.”

“Nope… no idea, but… if the Taint Master guy is anything like he sounds like, then he might make Thor evil, and then send him to attack us.”

“Then that will solve getting Thor here, though having a 640 or so pounds heavy wrestlemania master jacked up on storm-controlling powers and evil will not be an okay thing to have wanting us dead.”

“Iron Man-Dude-Bro drinks about half as much as Thor, oh yeah and Thor once tried to lightning him, it didn’t work.”

“The MJOLNIR Mk6 power armor’s safety functionalities are capable of safely storing up to 500% energy levels.”

“Who makes something for a situation like that?” Wade inquired, confused at how the makers had reasoned that feature into the design.

“Sorry to interrupt, but if you can find a Mk7 ARM-ORION plate, then I can install a new feature, Overdrivers.”

“Yes, they will essentially double your abilities, and another feature is arm cannons.”

“Okay, that’s too far into copying Iron Man-Dude-Bro’s designs, he had palm-lasers.”

“Frankly, if it helps me, I don’t really care about plagiarizing other designs.”

“I can install the arm cannon, or Plasma_Fist.aff, at any time, but it will require the sacrifice of your Spartan Laser.”

“I’ll hold off on that until we can get that overcharge.” Chief assured, stopping his stride.

Canterlot Royal Auditorium

A sign beside the door, this one much less fancy and much more temporary-looking, read:

Today’s Schedule:

Hearth’s Warming Eve Play [ 12:30PM - 3:30PM ]

“Convenient, we’re about two minutes early.” John said, checking his clock.

“Yep, let’s go see where them mares at!” Wade looked around, putting a hand over his brow to block out the bright lights from overhead.

“They’re in the play, so they’ll be on stage, we need to find our seats, which I’m assuming are up in the area where I can see Harry, Wilson, and the others.”

He flipped the shushing ponies off, confusing them long enough to escape to his seat, singing “Nana-nana-booboo.” at them.

John shook his head and sat in his own spot, right between Ezio and Deadpool’s empty seat.

“So amico, how do you think the story of Hearth’s Warming will go?” Ezio asked, having discovered the wonder of popcorn and was now eating some.

“I’m not sure, but let’s not ruin it with wild guessing, did you see the mares backstage, I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to them since we got off the train.”

-Flashback to Eight Minutes Ago-

Ezio stood on his perch in the rafters, looking down at the element bearers, watching them get dressed with a perverted smile on his face.

‘I should drop down and talk to them… but… eh to hell with it.’ He thought, dropping down.

“Hey amicas, nervous?” He asked, taking a few steps forward to make it seem like he was walking in normally, rather than dropping down from the rafters.

“Nervous, but excited!” Pinkie exclaimed, jumping up and down in her Chancellor Puddinghead hat, “I’m nervicited, I want to jump up and down and shout YAY YAY YAY!... But I also want to curl up into a teeny tiny ball and hide!”

“Oh my, that sounds like me… a lot.” Fluttershy sheepishly admitted, not being heard over the din of conversation.

“I must say though, you all look very pretty in your costumes.” The suave man complimented in his most charming voice.

Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes, but then decided that it was okay, “Not too bad yourself there, stud.”

“Why thank you, I do work out, a lot.” He flexed his arm, showing off his visible muscles.

“Mmmm.” Rainbow rubbed her hoof over his biceps, smiling and letting out a small purr.

“RAINBOW! Stop drooling over the stupid sexy Istalian and get dressed, the play is on in six minutes!” Twilight reprimanded.

She gave Ezio a half-hearted punch to the chest and hovered over to the box with her costume in it.

“I see, the sweet and spicy kind of girl, I can work with that.” The master Assassin said to himself, nodding and walking out of the room and to his seat.

-Flashforward to Now-

“That’s… Ezio… you’re acting awfully lenient towards these concepts.”

“I have been without for the past three months, John, please do not worry about what I do behind closed doors.”

“Um… Ezio… we’ve been here for six months, as in 1+1+1+1+1+1, or 2+2+2, or 3+3, or 4+2, or 5+1, the point is… it’s been more than three months since we arrived here.” John felt uncomfortable with the implications of the Assassin’s words.

“Lady Lyra Heartstrings practically melted when I introduced her to my masterful hands.”

“It already went, and she didn’t walk straight for a week.” The suave young man smirked at his success.

“Frankly, I don’t care, mainly because they are both consenting individuals.” AD said as he leaned back in his seat. “You say bestiality, I say xenophilia.”

“I don’t care either Mentore, mainly because I used to be a pony myself.” Blue said, leaning forward so that other ponies didn’t hear him.

“... I don’t want to hear another word of this…” Link could only imagine Epona when thinking of what Ezio was implying, and the thought made him shudder with disgust.

“Yeah, I agree, the play’s starting, and I want to enjoy this.” Harry told the others.

-Three Hours Later-

“...Scene transition that didn’t let us show our reactions to the various parts as they happen.” Deadpool finally finished, having (much to everyone’s surprise) not talked throughout the whole play.

“Yes, but that doesn’t really make much sense amico.” Ezio said, having enjoyed the third musical number.

“I wish I could’ve known, I was attacked during my trip to the bathroom, had to fight with both my swords out.” Wilson said, thankful that the less-than-elite agent had gone done quickly.

“Another Organization Assault Agent jumped me while I was at the urinal, luckily I had my Light Sword ready, and I managed to come out unscathed, despite fighting with my pants down.”

“That sounds like something that you could expect in my video game.” Deadpool noted.

“Well, while we’ve been here, I have been tinkering with something.” Wilson said as he took out the incomplete Wunderwaffe DG-2.

‘AH! Wunderbar, it’s almost done, all you need is a focus… do you have a focus?’

“Well, a good gem might do the trick, come brother, we’ll get one.” Adam said, leading the way.

“Alright, we’ll be back in a bit everyone, don’t let our absence detract from your Canterlot experience though.” Wilson said as he put away the Wunderwaffe and followed Adam.

“I wonder where they’re going?” Arbiter mused as he watched the pinstripe-clad pair disappear around a corner.

“I’m sure they’re just going to buy a gem at the gem shop, come, darlings, let’s enjoy Canterlot while we’re here.” Rarity said, scratching behind her left ear, “Ugh, that crown may have been lovely, but it quickly became itchy.” She complained, still scratching.

-At Gems and Jewels Canterlot Branch-

‘Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, JA!!!’

‘Phew, for a good minute there, I thought you’d become a broken record.’

“This gem is perfect.” Wilson said, picking up the clear crystal lens, marked ‘10 degree incline convex lens Diamond.’

“No… but I could use one.” Wilson picked up the gem next to it, with was a concave version of the first.

*CHIK-CHIK* Adam pulled out his M1911 and cocked it, aiming it at the shopkeeper's face.

“Nothing, we’re walking out with these two trinkets, and you will not stop us, understood?” He threatened, his smooth, monotone voice scaring the shopkeep half to death.

Adam kept his pistol aimed at the pony, and he and Wilson backed out of the shop.

‘Ohhhh… Adam always bloody does this… I try to get something the honest way, and he says ‘that’s not the mafia way, brother’, and then he uses violence to steal it.’

‘Oh, zat vas vhat zose mental complaints vere about, I vas not paying attention to your eyes.’

“Adam, this is my purchase, not yours. Please just let me do my business.” Wilson complained.

“If you really wish to pay for things… so be it, but don’t dip into the protection money, we need that to operate.” Adam said, finally surrendering.

“The mansion is complete, it took them fucking long enough, the last time you asked, it wasn’t done, so taking a risk with added expenses just wasn’t a feasible option at the time, better safe than sorry.” The professional mobster answered.

“Princess Celestia said that if we relinquish funds back to the government in order to stimulate the flow of the economy, then she would forgive any crimes we commit, so long as we don’t kill any ponies.”

“WHAT! Why haven’t I heard of this before?” Twilight shouted, feeling betrayed and confused, “Why would Princess Celestia harbor criminal acts? IS THIS HOW YOU’VE GOTTEN EVERYTHING?”

“Calm down Miss Sparkle, yes… yes it is… listen, as the Don once told me, ‘Everyone is corrupt, even the gods lack purity in their hearts’, Celestia is willing to deal with me as long as I don’t actually go through with my threats, no bank robberies either, just businesses, have to get that money back into circulation.”

“I… the principle of it is morally wrong, and I can’t agree with your decision, but I’ll accept it for now. I’m warning you, however, if you ever… ever go back on the non-violence pact, I will create a barrier inside your stomach, and expand it until you explode.” Twilight threatened with a scowl and angry eyes, her horn and irises lit with magical energy.

“Celestia already threatened to send me to the moon, I don’t want any more pianos hoisted over my head sweetie.” Adam coolly responded.

The dozen humans (well, technically 9 humans, a twili, an pony-turned-human and an alien) had been rubbing off on her, making her, and her friends, act more like them.

“Well then, I suppose that we may continue unopposed, come on Wilson, we have a Wonder Waffle to complete.” Adam said, mispronouncing the weapon’s name.

“No, I have a Wunderwaffe DG-2 to complete, Sir Corleone, if you want more weapons, ask Wade.” Wilson dismissed as he walked away.

“I understand, brother, personal achievements are something to be proud of, and I won’t invade on that.” Adam was, alongside Ezio, tied for the coolest head in the group.

And he had plenty of time, the others were trying to find out what happened to Applejack after that weird Rodeo Tournament thingy.

-One Month and One Week Later-

“Alright, you just need a highly concentrated source of Element 115 before ze Wunderwaffe can be at it’s most powerful form.”

Wilson snickered as he stroked his magnificent beard, and looked for what Richtofen described as glowing blue rocks that can power all kinds of stuff.

Wilson grinned as he looked at the massive meteor, buried several hundred feet underground, there were a few holes in the ceiling that led upwards, it seemed as though this meteor had crashed here less than a century, but more than a decade ago.

Wilson took out a Pick/Axe and proceeded to mined the material, ready to finish this wonderful piece of science.

Several hits allowed Wilson to completely shatter the rock, and he quickly harvested the material.

He began to craft the final product with all of the Element 115 he had, and his ‘Underpowered Wunderwaffe DG-2’.

“I am so happy... If I had tear ducts now, I’d be crying so hard, und I’d be so hard too... jjjjjjaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Wilson grinned even more as he carried his achievement outside of the cave and into the desert sun. He held it up high above his head, and yelled out in joy.

“I DID IT MUM! LOOK, I DID IT!!!” Wilson laughed, and caught the attention of an Organization spy, “JA!!! GUTEN ZEITEN!!!” He shouted, taking after Richtofen.

“Yes?” Condition One said on the other end of the line, his deep voice disguised to sound like a stern mother.

“Boss, this is O.R.A #4. It seems that Group 935 is involved in this, Wilson has a Wunderwaffe DG-2.” She reported, waiting for the no-doubt well-calculated instructions of her highly intelligent superior agent.

“It’s the lightning gun. The shorter englishman built it himself, crazy as a bat.” Rachel replied, slightly annoyed at that remark.

How the top Agent of the Organization’s Combat, Assassination, Unassisted Stealth (after Blue’s betrayal), and Assault rosters, had forgotten something so unbelievably simple, yet very important, as the fucking NAMES of the Damon-damned TARGETS was beyond her.

“Yeah, like Deadpool.” Rachel sighed away from the comm, annoyed at having to watch over these annoying sons of bitches for as long as she wasn’t discovered, which made her want to throw herself out into the open just so she could get reassigned.

CO hung up, and Rachel just looked at the crazy Wilson waving around the lightning gun.

‘Goddammit Richtofen, does your influence know no bounds?’ She thought as she looked at the ground and sighed, thinking about her home, she’d been from the world that Richtofen had ruined with his zombies, and she hated him to an immeasurably high degree for that.

“Vilson, zat eez an Organization Reconnaissance Agent, vy don’t joo introduce her to ze foolly powered Wunderwaffe? Ve’ll zee how vell eet’s vorking?”

‘Ah, I see, I can hear ozzers’ thoughts at this level of insanity, zank you, Doktor Richtofen, for giving me zis boost.’

She shrieked in pain as the weapon she had been looking for was used on her, freezing everything below her neck nearly solid and ceasing her movement.

*BOOM-ZZZZZZZZZHHHH* A small shockwave was heard, and then she was quickly roasted from the inside out by a strong bolt of lightning.

“Jolly good, that’s… Agent 4 and Condition One, this one, Ezio’s kill, John’s kill, Blue was turned, and that incident with the blades guy and me with my willy out spraying piss on the floor… so that’s six out of a few dozen… good progress!” He said, putting his top hat back on and going to check out the progress on finding Applejack.

“♪Two weeks until the end of spriiiiing, it won’t be so bright, but it’ll still be greeeeen.” Wilson quietly sang as he found himself delving into yet another cave.

“♪It helps keep my sanity stable~... okay where was I? Oh yes. ♪No it won’t be so briiiiight, but it’s time to introduce even longer days, and even shorter niiiiiiights. ♪OH Summer, a time of rest and relaxaaaation. ♪Summer, come on, let’s go on a vacaaaation. ♪Summer is coming, and it’s fiiiiiine, let’s throw a party with ice-cold drinks and lots of liiiiiiime.”

“♪I didn’t write the song~... shit.” Wilson had been delving into Canterlot Mountain.

After Twilight’s freakout and Cerberus’s leaving his post, Wilson had been charged with making sure he’d been led back successfully and that he was, indeed, at his post.

That didn’t matter right now, he was deep in Canterlot Mountain now, and despite technically being several hundred feet underground, he was still thousands of feet above the ground outside.

He wandered, and wandered, and wandered, eventually finding himself down in a cold part of the cave, so cold that it had snow on the floor.

Using his Light Sword as a light source, the scientist/wizard/mobster/gentleman found himself looking into a cave full of gemstones and other crystals.

‘No, I can feel it too, it’s something to do with chaos magic, I think this is a sort of… spatial rend, a rift, a hole, a wormhole.’

There was a sound like a distant shuffling on the snow, and then an “Oh shit!”, immediately followed by a falling sound, some clattering of plastic on ice, and a *click*.

Wilson felt extreme dread as he now had to wander through this chaos-filled area with an unknown other person somewhere, probably very nearby, and probably wanting to hurt him.

A pulse of chaos energy lurched out at that moment, launching his sword out of his hand and deep into the snow somewhere in the darkness, its glow drowned out by the thick layer of snow on the everywhere.

“Bloody goddamn motherfucking HELL!” Wilson whisper-deadpanned to himself, scrambling through the snow to find his sword.

Hexed Lives

by Awesomedude17

The Man in Black, The Hero in Blue