//------------------------------//
// I really like her mane [April Fools!] 
// Story: The Conversion Bureau: Reality Break 
// by Fullmetal Pony 
//------------------------------//

	“Er,” I used a hoof to brush my mane out of my face as I flew above the vast American expanse.
“Something wrong?” Dash asked as she flew beside me.
“This stupid mane keeps getting in my face!” I’d thought flight would be at least one advantage of being a pegasus, but my now-long mane had ruined that enjoyment. Every time I even felt a brief hint of excitement while flying, my mane flew right into my face and temporarily blinded me. “How do mares deal with this?!”
“You just gotta let it flow behind you.”
“But... that’s so girly! For god’s sakes, it’a so girly it’s a cliche!”
“Look, I know the whole being a pony thing is weird, but it beats the end of the world right?”
“Ok Dash,” I’d been dealing with this problem since that horrible Sunday when all hell had broken loose, “allow me to retort. I can deal with being a pony, hell, I can even deal without hands. What I can’t deal with is being a damn girl!”
“Hey! What’s wrong with being a girl?” Dash stopped flying and got right in my face.
“N-n-nothing, it’s not being a girl that sucks, it’s that I lost my masculinity.”
“Please,” Dash waved a hoof in my direction, “I’ve known lots of stallions who were way more fru-fru than any mare could ever be. Besides, Celestia still needed to work out some bugs with the potion on the seeds, it was the only way.”
I sighed again, “I know, it’s for the good of everypony else. But I mean, the way my friends looked at me after they took the potion... Nate nearly bucking kissed me!”
“Yeah, um, sorry about, I guess the whole heat thing was a bad side effect.”
“No crap,” I pouted.
“Well I think you’re doing pretty well as a mare. You’d probably give Rarity a run for her money in a dress.”
My eyes went wide with suspicion, “Did... did you just call me cute?”
“Well, I mean, um,” Dash’s blue face turned dark red, “maybe.”
“No,” I wildly gesticulated my hooves.“No, no, no! Where’s Discord? Clearly he or some other sick entity has contrived this just to see me squirm.” Damn it! I’m a guy, a former human! I am not in love with Dash! No matter how cute her mane lo- STOP IT! STOP IT BRAIN!!
“Well excuse me for saying you look good.”
“No, I think you’re a nice pony too, it’s just this is too weird for me! I mean, pony, pegasus and a mare, a mare in heat! It’s just...” I bit my lip, “just too much.”
“Hey,” Dash flew closer and patted me with a feather, “we all have our tough days, but that’s what friends are for.” Dash was getting closer.
“I know. Thanks Dash.”
“So you really think I’m a nice pony?”
“Well,” I blushed a little, “maybe a bit more than that.”
“Really?” Dash leaned closer as I closed my eyes.

~~~

I sat up in a flash. It took me a second to remember that I was in a White House bedroom. “Ugh, fricking dreams, they just keep getting weirder and weirder." I was about to fall back to sleep, but I noticed my wings were fully extended. “For buck’s sake.”

___________________________


Author's note: I'm sorry I couldn't resist. Happy April Fools Day Everypony!