A ball of orange flame exploded up into the cloudless sky and dissipated, contorting the air into small ripples as it rose. The pegasus and earth pony guards ran inside the building as more fireballs smashed into the earth, showering debris and leaving deep scorched furrows in the soil. Several unicorns stood in a solid formation outside the complex, the front row opening fire on the dark blue shadow as it came for another pass, the rear row of guards were holding up a co-operative shield spell around the entire structure. They were all totally focused on their task and didn’t take any notice when two figures crept around them and in through a side door.
“Shhh!” Twilight warned as her partner closed the heavy steel port behind her, more audibly than was totally necessary.
“It’ll be fiiiiine.” Derpy countered casually, to prove just how casual she was she did the most casual thing she could think of, leaning against the wall. This was never destined to end well, I mean, no one ever leans against anything without consequences, do they? This was no different, as on the wall was a broom, and as the grey pegasus leaned against it, it toppled over and clattered noisily on top of a bowling ball that was there for some reason. Twilight could only watch as the marbled green ball of terror rolled with considerable speed down the hallway and over the top of a nail, which fitted snugly into one of the finger holes.
“You are actually- no… That’s…” The lavender unicorn spluttered, she had no idea how it was physically possible for Derpy to be that clumsy. “Why are those holes even there? What purpose do they serve other than being conveniently there for a mildly amusing chain of events of further consequence later on?”
Oblivious to Twilight’s annoyance the ball continued on its way, beginning to slow down. Having had enough, she grabbed the infernal thing in her magic and brought it to a sudden halt, this lack of movement was not transferred to the thin iron rod inside however, which continued on its way – out of the ball. It flew through the air in fast spins, finally embedding itself into the far wall with a shudder.
Just as Twilight was about to wipe her brow, the relief itself was wiped clean from her face as fine cracks snaked their way outwards from the sharp intrusion. The cracks spread suddenly and the wall totally fell to rubble, revealing two shocked mares in white coats staring at the two intruders with wide eyes.
Twilight sighed. “Aaaaand sleep.” She said flatly, her horn glowing for a brief second before the scientists slumped to the floor.
“I just don’t know wha-”
“NO! DON’T SAY THAT! JUST BE QUIET!”
“Rude.”
“I’ve really stopped caring. Just put this on.” Twilight tossed one of the lab coats across to the grey mare as she was putting one on herself. “Luckily I always carry a postcard photo of myself, but what will you do?”
“Meh,” Derpy shrugged. “I’ll be fine.”
“If you say so.” Twilight replied with an unsure glance. She licked the back of a stamp-sized picture and carefully pasted it over the original on her nametag. “There, we’re set.”
The two intrusive ponies strolled sure-hoofedly down a spotless white corridor, bustling with scientists and soldiers with worried facial expressions. Soon enough they came to a heavy steel door with a complex looking lock system, outside was a heavily armoured pegasus guard, thickly muscled around his chest and shoulders.
“Halt. This is a restricted zone. ID please.”
“Here you go.” Twilight levitated her tag confidently and it hovered in front of the guard in her purplish aura. She smiled broadly.
“Alright, in you go.” He opened the door with his hoofprint and they set off walking in. The guard suddenly unfurled his wing across the entrance. “Wait.”
“Yes?”
“She’s gonna need clearance as well.” He looked down at the two smaller ponies without moving his head.
“Oh… it’s ok, she’s with me.”
“She’ll still need her own ID, where is it?”
“You will let us in. I AM YOUR SUPERIOR.” Twilight glared at the stoic guard.
“No you aren’t.”
“Oh well, it was worth a try.” She sighed again. “Aaaaand sleep.” Twilight sent her magic into the mind of the stallion, as she always did, but something was different. It was fighting back. The tendrils of magic snaked in regardless, forcing their way in through the mental wall to constrict the soldier’s mind. The lavender unicorn concentrated for one last burst to suffocate the final shreds of willpower and knock him out cold.
“Well that was trickier than usual, he must have had special training. It’s a good job I’m one of the most powerful unicorns in Equestria.”
As Twilight trotted into the next room, her companion lagged slightly. The unconscious stallion had a crossbow on his back with a quiver down his left flank. Derpy picked up the lethal weapon with interest and studied its intricate carvings, it was beautifully designed as well as perfectly functional. The grey pegasus suspected that he had added to the designs himself, personalising it, this was mostly because a young, crudely carved mare in a more than provocative pose probably wasn’t included on the original. Derpy picked up the contraption and slung it onto her own back, hooking the quiver around the string.
“Derpy! What are you doing back there? That door might have a timer!”
“I’m coming Twilight, just remember whose very important mission this is.” She trotted in after the unicorn and dragged the sleeping sentry in with her, dumping him unceremoniously him in a corner. “Let’s go.” She took the lead and Twilight followed, emitting a quiet chuckle of disbelief that she was actually doing this.
“Do you… know where you’re going? And why in the name of Celestia do you have that?” She pointed a hoof at the crossbow on her partner’s back.
“Never know when you might need it.” Derpy shrugged.
“A crossbow. So many uses…”
“Oh stop complaining. Twilight, get out your lucky clipboard, we need to be as convincing as possible.”
“Lucky clip- How do you- When- Oh I give up, I’ll just add you to the list of inexplicable phenomena in this world, you can keep Pinkie Pie company there.” She seemingly pulled a clipboard out of nowhere and pretended to be engrossed with reading it.
The pair turned a corner and emerged into a short hallway with one door at the far end. There was no guard but it looked ridiculously thick and required several keys, clearance cards and hoofprints to open.
“Well, This is looking a bit tricky.” Twilight scrutinised the lock mechanism with her face inches away from the panelling.
Both mares turned their heads as hoofsteps began to echo down the blinding white corridors. A diminutive burgundy earth pony stallion rounded the corner and stopped in his tracks when he saw the two infiltrators. “Can I help you?”
“Ah, yes. This door seems to be malfunctioning, the intricacy of the lock’s just a nuisance as far as I can see.”
The scientist snorted slightly then walked over and studied the lock. “Are you sure you turned your keys at the same time?” He looked up at the ponies from his crouched position.
“What?”
“Well if you’ve used your hoofprint and card, you both need to simultane—” He trailed off in his explanation as the situation dawned on him. “Oh crap.”
A large box clonked down onto the top of his cranium and a purple unicorn was immediately rummaging through his clothing. “Here it is.” She grumbled as she dragged a sliver of laminated paper from the inside of the scientist’s coat with her telekinesis.
Derpy hauled the prone form to the doorway with her teeth and pushed its hoof onto the slot beside the entry, a green light flickered on above it. “Hoofprint done.” She announced.
“Gooood.” Twilight answered. She then walked over to the door too and slid the small card into its allotted rift in the wall. A second green light blinked to life next to the first.
“Now for the grand finale, we need to turn two keys simultaneously. We only have one, which won’t do. I’ll have to do a double lock-picking spell, It’s pretty advanced stuff.”
“But can you do it?”
“I think so. Whether I want to is a different matter, if we’re caught this is a pretty long sentence.”
“Just get on with it, you already know what’s at stake.”
“Yeah yeah.” Twilight lowered her head and closed her eyes. She pushed her magic into the keyholes like liquid and fished around, pushing up the pins one by one and searching for some give. At the same time she tried to turn the lock, making sure not to turn it too far until she’d mirrored her actions on the second keyhole. She switched her concentration between the two locks, trying out one then the next.
Just over a minute later she had nearly got both locks in exactly the position that she wanted them. With a final push both of the mechanisms made a satisfying click and a grinding sound, the bars on the door began to slide across and gears on the surface whirred around. Accompanied by the third and final green light. The door finally swung open, revealing what Twilight had thought—an orange glittering weave in the metal indicated that it had been enchanted against teleportation magic. If she had attempted to teleport, she would currently be a collection of atoms fused partially with the steel of the walls, trapped in the metal and probably still conscious.
“Yes!” Twilight exclaimed in relief when the huge lump finally budged open fully.
The many white-coated ponies bustling about within the inner chamber paid no attention to the new additions entering, preoccupied with the dragon attack and final preparations for the upcoming mission. Derpy and Twilight managed to blend in with them as they attempted to move on to the next stage of their journey - a ride.
The room they had just entered was clearly the main part of the complex, as the high domed roof was the same one visible from outside. Inside however, it was more like a deep cylinder reaching into the earth, surrounded by catwalks and platforms, full of ponies rushing around. Set into a portion of the rounded wall were several large panes of glass, behind which appeared to be a big room with banks of ponies working at desks and with broad star charts and maps pinned to the walls. The centrepiece of the chamber though, was a huge glistening white spire reaching upward, widening as it went down until it looked like a long pointed tube stretched down into the ground.
“It’s a rocket!” Twilight squealed, looking around with glee at the beautiful engineering and the organised chaos surrounding it. She forgot for a moment that they were supposed to be hijacking the thing and leaving behind everything she knew and loved and instead relished the awesome beauty of it all.
Derpy was almost as amazed at the spectacle, but she didn’t show it to the same extent as her companion as she was preoccupied with scanning all the stoic faces rushing by for one she recognised as the pair were pushed along with the flow of traffic down a catwalk.
Twilight found herself shoved into a small side room as Derpy tumbled in on top of her. “What are you doing?” she hissed in annoyance.
“Shush.” Came the only reply as the grey pony hunched beside the doorway, peering out. All of a sudden she grabbed out like a praying mantis and pulled something in through the opening, slamming the door shut behind her.
The thing immediately stood up and faced the ponies. “You’re not getting anything out of me without a fight!” It threatened, snorting.
“Calm down, Hugh. It’s just me, Derpy.” She flicked on the lightswitch, revealing herself and Twilight.
“Oh.” The cream-coloured earth pony said, dropping his stance. “What are you doing here? This place is the highest security level, you could get in big trouble just by being here.”
“I don’t really have time to explain, but I need you to do me a favour.” Derpy replied vaguely.
The stallion looked nervous. “I don’t know, Derpy. This is really serious stuff…”
“Oh come on Hugh.” The pegasus complained, “Remember the time with the crate of lizards? you said you’d repay me when you could, and now you can.”
Hugh scratched the back of his neck, “Well I suppose I could do something, as long as it isn’t completely suicidal. What do you need doing?”
“My friend Twilight and me are going to be on this rocket. I just need you to let it happen.” Derpy announced.
“That’s completely suicidal!” The unicorn pony almost yelled. “I can’t let you do that, it would jeopardise the entire mission. You would never make it back alive!”
Derpy suddenly dropped into a serious tone for a change. “Hugh, if you let this mission go ahead the entire universe will be destroyed. You have to let us in, it’s the only way.”
“I’ve known you for a long time, Derpy Hooves.” He said, “And you’ve never mislead me before. I’ll try to get you on this flight.”
The two ponies knocked hooves and Hugh scurried back out into the silo. Derpy sat back on her haunches, relieved that they’d secured themselves a rocket. Twilight presently joined her.
“Thank Celestia for magic.” the purple mare sighed. “Without that gullibility field we would be pretty stranded.”
“What?” Derpy asked, gazing quizzically at her partner with her wonky eyes.
“Well you didn’t think that guy would have let us ruin this entire thing without me tampering with his brain at all, did you?”
“I would have managed!” Retorted Derpy. “I know him, he’d have trusted me.”
Twilight stood up. “And how, exactly, do you know a high-ranking physicist in the royal scientific corps?”
“I’m a mailmare. I know lots of ponies.” Derpy replied with an innocent smile.