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I could feel my hooves grow sweaty despite the freezing temperatures. “N-NEAMO? No clue.” I said, trying to keep up an expression of denial. Thankfully, Fringe was still inspecting the piece of metal. I glanced over to Twintails, who bit his lower lip a little. Cross looked quizzically over to me and I only shrugged. “Some kind of… brand of robot by those… Sparkplug… guys, maybe?” I forced out, letting off errant chuckles. My mouth was definitely running dry; I gulped, sure that Fringe or Cross would notice something was up. What were NEAMO robots doing way out here? Did the Doc think we were dead again, or something? Fringe let off a grunt, dropping the armor plating into the snow and huffing out a thick smoky cloud, moving forwards.
“Maybe… heard reports about some pre-war facility past that old factory by that name, now that I think of it. They probably just dug up these rusty bots from the snow and fixed 'em up.” I nodded, relieved. The stallion in the soft hat thought for a moment, moving the cigar in his mouth. “Still, they're in surprisingly good condition. Armor's some kind of carbon-fiber alloy, distributes the impact too damn well. Maybe that place was better equipped than Quazar'd thought it to be.” Fringe took another glance back at the robots, readjusting his rifle upon his armor's back. We began to trot away from the robots, though not before I rummaged through their mutilated bodies for a couple spare energy cells, tossing them over to Cross.
He let them fall into his coat pocket as we trudged up a small rise in the road, the tops of the buildings in Quebuck coming well into view. A few ghoul groans and roars echoed up from the ruins, Cross looking a little more anxious. “Uh… maybe we could go around?” Fringe shook his head, glancing back momentarily at Cross with a look that carried both disapproval and a message of 'Why'd I sign up for this?', pressing forwards. Cross pulled out the plasma pistol, holding it at the severely ready and glancing about nervously. Similarly, I pulled out my plasma rifle, Fringe pausing to scan over the area while Twintails readied his saddled guns - have to ask him sometime how the hell he can walk around with all that stuff on his back. We trotted down the other side of the hill towards the damaged thoroughfare running through the ruined structures, some off to the near south more collapsed than others. Twintails did say something about an air burst the first time we went through here, didn't he?
We walked by the dilapidated buildings, Twintails checking around the corners as we slowly worked our way through. Cross screamed as we passed an alley, a couple ghouls leaping out at us from the darkness - man, he screamed like a filly. He fired erratically, Twinails and myself opening up on the small wandering group, the ghouls falling to the ground in a mess of blood and plasma. Fringe jabbed Cross in the side, hissing harshly into his ear. “Keep your bloody mouth shut, or we’re going to have the whole city chewing at our flesh. I didn't ask to lead you back, I'm covering those two.” Cross gave a small squeak of fear, glancing over his shoulder at the both of us, the power armored stallion spinning with a huff and continuing on.
Cross trotted a little closer to the center of the group, still glancing around and pointing his pistol at any little shadow. I guess I can’t blame him, I know I was paranoid when I first came out of the Stable, and those were just fat ugly bugs. “S-so, um, what did you hear about NEAMO?” Cross asked Fringe. My ear twitched a bit, my already high strung nerves tensing up further. Fringe’s eyes ran across another building, checking for any more ghouls, not turning to face my coltfriend either out of annoyance or guard. Appearing satisfied over the road ahead, he took another long draw off his cigar, Twintails and myself continuing to keep our guards up.
“Not much, honestly. What I picked up from the data in our archives, it was a pre-war government facility, some kind of weapon research and storage. Hmh, maybe you’d like to stop by it, Twintails, find some other thing to get yoruself killed about.” He let off a growlish chuckle, ending with a huff, Twintails chuckling a little awkwardly. How have they not noticed something was up with us both yet? I sighed a little, trying to think of a way to keep Fringe separated from us long enough to report back to NEAMO. At least Cross will be safe in Mooscow. We passed by the theatre where we first found Tom, his faded poster blowing a little in the wind.
We were soon heading out of the city, a little bit of excess plasma dripping from the tip of my rifle. The sky grew a little darker as we made our way back to Mooscow, my gaze roaming around for more ghouls or NEAMO robots, Twintails doing the same with an almost gleeful look on his face. The Doc had said he wanted to keep all this stuff low-key until they were able to actually fire off Megaspell Mary... Did somepony else bring back the parts they needed? Or, were we replaced? We continued down the road, something coming into view along the side of it. Wait… was that...
Both Twintails and I rushed over to the crashed wagons, bottles of Sunrise Sarsaparilla and Sparkle Cholera laying in the fallen snow. Oooh, it may be a bit more irradiated, but it’s still ice cold and fizzy! I scooped up a couple bottles, Twintails slipping his own death drink into his saddles... and the tube-thing of his launcher. Blech, isn’t there some better use of those things? I’m sure someone could make a grenade, or mine, or something out of them. Cross peered over the edge of the snow bank, perking up immediately and leaping over to join me as he saw the goldmine of soda. As he gathered up some of his own bottles in his saddlebags, he glanced over to Twintails, pausing for a moment. He leaned over to me, muttering into my ear.
“Um, Minty… are you sure that we can trust this guy? He’s already got some screws loose, and now he’s drinking that sludge?” He snickered a little, myself rolling my eyes, not wanting to start another fight with somepony carrying around an arsenal of balefire eggs at the ready. Fringe picked up a bottle of Sparkle Cola as well as we all climbed out of the ditch, saddlebags heavily laden with ice cold soda. Cross and I popped open the caps with our magic, Twintails biting his own off as we all took a swig. Ooooh, it’s been too long since I’ve had one of these.
I burped, a bit of fizz rushing up my nose as we trotted onwards - ach, that stung. I slipped the cap into my saddlebags, my pip-leg quickly counting up the contents and displaying them onscreen. 18 caps… I’m going to need to find a real job someday, raiding places is surprisingly unprofitable up here. Maybe I can help fix up some sewing machines at Cross’s place, or get into the electronics repair business... My mind wandered as Twintails fired off his Luger, a bloatsprite falling to the ground as another next to it exploded from the charged bolt of energy the J01T5 slammed into it. I really should name this thing... Sparky, maybe. Nah...
"Probably should tell you, I'm only sticking with you until we reach the Mooscow gates. Quazar's been sending out for all knights in the wasteland, hell, the only reason I got a free pass to escort you all here in the first place was because of Paladin Nova's blessing." The power armored stallion grunted idly, taking another sip of the soda while his nub of a cigar sizzled out in the snow. Cross seemed to be a bit relieved - oh, come on Stitchy, it's not like he'd blow your brains out. Twintails looked over to him mid-gulp, seeming a little disheartened, the both of them sharing a fleeting glance before Fringe dropped his head to the ground. "...I can't set hoof in the city limits. Not that they'll fire on sight, but..." He fell silent, Twintails matching, my pegasus friend pressing forth and moving down the road. Fringe followed behind, lighting up a cigar, Cross glancing at myself in a bit of confusion. I don't think I should explain it to him just yet...
The rest of the road was clear, save a couple more bloatsprites and giant roaches (one of which Cross found necessary to shoot about three more times after it died), as we made our way to Mooscow. As the city came into view, Fringe had traded his soft hat for the armor's helmet, Twintails and him having one last moment of goodbye before he parted and turned back. We trotted up to the gate, Bloodbeak sitting vigilant as ever at the post. She waved as we walked past, swooping up to us with a wide, blood-stained smile. “Hey, it’s been a while since I've seen you guys! You wouldn’t have happened to be related to that weird metal monstrosity crawling across the wasteland out Trotisk way, are you?” She leaned against the broken traffic barrier, crossing her forward claws over her chest and holding onto her drum-fed machine gun, smirking. We looked a little sheepish - hell, who wouldn't after walking all day? - myself finally nodding slowly. Bloodbeak laughed. “50 caps to me again. Razor figured you guys were related too, but, well, he still can’t resist a bet.”
“Yeah, that certainly was a weird little adventure of ours...” I was about to mention where we found it, but stopped myself. NEAMO might be sending out robots, but I still think the Doc would prefer if we kept quiet. Bloodbeak sat back in her chair in her makeshift guard booth. “How’s it been around here?” She gave a noncommittal jerk of her head, shrugging a little.
“Isn't much to say, honestly. We’ve been getting a little bit of radio chatter from up north, but it’s mostly been incomprehensible or just that stupid station that broadcasts those random numbers.” She took a sip from a dirty coffee mug, Cross showing a small look of disgust before turning and cracking open another bottle of Sarsaparilla. “I have spotted a couple more robots wandering around, but they’ve been staying away so far. Those things look pretty dangerous from here, I’m not looking forward to if they start come floating through town.” She leaned against the side of the small shack, holding her machine gun tightly. “The town’s fairly well equipped, but if that RobronCo factory or wherever they're coming from keeps pumping them out, we’ll be forced out in less than a week.” I grimaced a little, my interest piqued further on why there was the sudden increase in activity from them.
“We were headed up north again, pretty soon, anyways. We could stop by there and see what’s going on.” I wore a small weak smile, Bloodbeak looking a little more relaxed, nodding. She stood up and opened the door into Mooscow proper, the rest of us all filing in. The streets were mostly empty, the few ponies that were outside walking briskly between their destinations. We walked down the streets, passing by the large church turned museum, rounding a corner. My stomach growled loudly, causing me to blush. “I could go for something to eat, I guess. Anyone else?”
Cross nodded, Twintails starting to speed up his trotting. “Oh, hey, I know where we can go!” We both followed him down the streets, turning down one way and double back a couple times as he tried to remember where he was going. We arrived at a small bakery a few moments later, Twintails heading in and the rest of us filing in behind him. I vaguely remembered picking up some muffins before, I didn’t think Twintails liked them so much. He walked up to the counter, the receptionist smiling widely. “I’ll have… three honey oat bagels.” He tossed his caps onto the counter, the mare behind it ringing it up and sliding the caps into the register with a smile. Huh, I wonder how they grow the plants they need in this weather.
I stepped up to the counter, looking up at the menu. “Um… two chocolate muffins.” The register ringed again, and I was about to toss my money onto the counter when I realized I didn’t have nearly enough caps. “Uhh…” I looked over to the others, guiltily. Cross smiled and tossed the remaining caps onto the counter, resting a hoof gently around my neck. “Eheh, thanks, Stitchy.” The mare behind the counter went into the back to prepare our order, Twintails readjusting his egg launcher... or, grabbing another bottle of that soda.
“Don’t worry about it.” Cross smiled, us both moving over to a nearby table. He let off a small chuckle, looking at myself with a sly wink. “But, I think you owe me a little something later~” I blushed a little, thinking back to his teasing earlier. I looked away, trying to hide my reddening face. The bakery mare quickly returned with our pastries, all of us starting to eat them as we headed out of the shop. We started wandering down the road, not heading in any particular direction for the moment, enjoying the sights; it was definitely more colorful that I remember. Were those new murals or something? I took a bite of muffin, the spongy baked good crumbling in my mouth. Cross started leaded us, bringing us around to a small shop. The sign above read 'Stable Stiching' in surprisingly well crafted lettering.
We entered the building, various fabrics on display, and a few jackets being modeled on some mannequins that were losing their stuffing. “I’ve got an extra guest bed upstairs, if you don’t mind sleeping over.” Wearing a smile, Cross glanced back at Twintails, who let off a small chuckle and wink as he slid by. The royal blue unicorn playfully bumped my rump into his, my blush returning. J-jeez, at least wait until we’re alone, Cross! The door shut with a creak as Twintails filed into the bedroom across from the one Cross pulled me into. “U-uh, goodnight, Twintails!” I said, before the door shut behind us, my coltfriend's magic rummaging through the closet and producing two sets of large stuffed cloth...
Oh boy…
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"Good evening North Equestria, and welcome to Neighrer Nightly, the show for all of you late-night owls and very early risers. I'm your host for this segment, the bicentennial Tom Neighrer, here to offer some soothing discussion and otherwise relaxation from those sub-zero nights. Tonight, in this small segment here, we'll be having a discussion concerning a personal experience of mine, namely, what it really felt like in facing the war. Of course, this isn't anything you couldn't learn from asking how a piece of jerky feels about being flash-cooked and then stowed in a freezer for a few hundred years. Where to begin, though, oh where to begin...
"I suppose I could start with the day that all of our Royal Armed Forces up and said 'so long, mom', and collectively went off to render a rather exceptionally large sum of our fellow equine species into an equally large sum of radioactive fallout. I'll be first to admit to the fact that, being a performer, I was otherwise occupied at the time the bombs fell. Matter-of-fact, by the time the stagehands for the show figured to come tell me that we were under attack, I couldn't help but have noticed that by that point many of them were half the stallions they used to be; mostly the front half.
"However, there is a certain blessing in disguise that that theatre wasn't too especially crowded at the time of the attack, a large sum of the audience were likely rather put-off by the act I was following that day. Then again, I suppose I can't blame them too much when they come to be educated and first have to sit through Miss Rarity expressing herself over why she believes Zebras to be the enemy. I'm not much of a fan of stripes either, but surely a use of megaspells in a war on fashion is uncalledfor.
"At any rate, were you to ask anyone else around here what they thought of the war during that time, there were some divided opinions concerning policies suggested and implemented by the princesses. One memorable one, which I wrote a song concerning, actually, was that of our consolidation of forces with our friends in the Griffon territories and burrowed underneath our mountains and hills. Our representatives on the princesses' high court had particularly strong feelings concerning placing equestrian technology, such as conventional cruise missiles and skywagon bomb delivery systems, into the posesion of gryphons and diamond dogs, a certain ministry mare I fondly recall having a particularly expressive rant over the implications of these weapons in the paws of those ruffians. She then went on to firmly restate that, as a lady, she was not whining, she was simply complaining. Heh. You know, I believe I'll take a small break now, rather feel up for listening to some of my old songs, myself. Here's the MLF Lullaby, for some of those listening simply because they couldn't get to sleep..."
"Sleep, baby, sleep, in peace may you slumber.
No danger lurks, your sleep to encumber,
We've got the missiles, peace to determine!
And one of the limbs upon the buttons will be gryphon.
Why shouldn't they have megaspell warheads?
Pinkie says no, but, she's just a sore-head.
I say a bygone, should be a bygone,
Let's make peace, they way we did in Ponyville and Hoofington!"
---
"Oh, goddesses..." Releasing a long groan and giving my back a good stretch - pretty sure my spine is NOT supposed to sound like my auto-rifles - the light of day shone through the slats in the window blinds, striking me in the face. I get that they haven't been able to be with each other for a long while, and that being each other's special somepony entitles them to some excitement and pleasure every now and again, but... guh, this is why Buzzy and Featherweight's home is better. At least the guest bedrooms aren't conected to the main house. Lazily pulling my barding on and leaving the overloaded battle saddle on the floor, I stepped out and down the stairway, letting off a tired sigh and giving my wings an idle flap.
A passing glance nehind the counter warranted a... rather disturbing sight. I admit, in my tired state, to jumping rather ungracefully upon seeing what I could only describe as a deflated Minty Candy. After the moment of surprise passed - love that adrenaline for waking up in the morning - the seams and stitching along its mane and face took my attention. Damn, Cross Stitch is pretty damn good at what he does... thoughts went back to Minty's Stable entrance, that first night we stepped inside. That little plush. Minty's reaction to it. Gamma Ray. Taking a breath and swallowing through my dry mouth, I managed to move myself through the rest of the small shop, stepping out into the cool air of the wasteland. I'll ask him sometime later, when this whole business with NEAMO is taken care of, and we can just settle down with ourselves. Flicking on the radio as the wasteland sun rose in the far east, Tom's tired voice met my ears; he sounded like he'd been talking for a long while.
"...and, eh, honestly I still can't be asked to possibly understand what was going through the mind of Miss Sparkle when she allowed the production of that ridiculous robotic companion. I mean, quite honestly, why would somepony want such a thing as 'Build-me-up Buttercup'? Asking me, it sounds more like it came from the same area of thought of the ponies who allowed the advertising of that false horn for pegasus and earth pony foals, with realistic vibrating 'magic' sensations. It doesn't take somepony with a doctorate to tell you that those ponies were either overdosed on Mint-als or just plainly ignorant to begin with." There was a pause as the stallion took a sip of something from a cup - coffee, probably. Ooh, that sounded good... "Anyways, yes, there were not a lot of smart ponies in pre-war toy businesses. I, uh, I think I should probably head off for now, the Stable's simulated time cycle just switched over to early morning and Hi-F-f-f-Bert the Turtle is awake! Eheheh, ah, y-yes, so, here's Tom Neighrer signing off, thank you all for joining me for Neighrer Nightly, I'll be back tomorrow night where we'll have a lovely discussion about... uh... fractions, I suppose."
"GOOOOOOOD MORNING, NORTH EQUESTRIAN WASTELAAND!! OW!" The sudden switch from Tom's exhausted, quiet voice over the radio to Hi-Fi's blaring wake-up call was understandably quite jarring. Ooh, come on, I want something other than adrenaline to wake me up some day! Adjusting the volume, some of the residents of the city had begun to move out into the street, Mooscow itself starting to wake up. "You're tuned into CON-EL-RAD radio, six-forty and twelve-forty on your AM band reciever, and you're listening to Bert the Turtle sending a very hearty wake-up call out to all you fine mares and stallions out there. A special shout-out to those mares in metal, stallions in steel, ponies in power armor, all of them out in Pripytrot bravely fighting back whatever it is that's attacking out there. Keep us informed, guys, we want to know whether to pack the hunting rifles or grenade launchers, heh..."
The door opened beside myself, Minty adorned in a rather heavy-looking coat in a soft dark blue with yellow detailings stepping out. I blinked a few times, looking over his new clothes, the augmented unicorn wearing a smile as he moved about and showed it off. "You like? Cross Stitch made it up for me, even has a little pocket for the plush of himself. Really warm and cosy, too~" He let off a light chuckle, the thick fabric shuffling against itself in the air. Giving a glance to the north, he turned back to myself, smiling softly as his breath condensed into the air. Okay, warmness is one practicality box checked, but as I remember stuffing and fabric isn't exactly going to stop bullets. "Well, c'mon. Honestly, I'm looking forwards to putting this whole business with the Doc and Megaspell Mary behind us."
"Where do you think he got the robots, anyways? Those didn't look anything like the ones that were at the RobronCo factory, last time we were there." Idly adjusting the small holster that still held Gamma's Luger, I paused mid-stride, looking at it for a moment. "Hopefully we can figure it out sooner than later. We'll stop by the factory first, maybe pick up something just in case we run into some of them when we press on towards NEAMO. Have a feeling that Jumper cables wouldn't appreciate a balefire egg being thrown at her factory... and my back is starting to kill me." Letting off a small groan and ruffling my wings, Hi-fi's morning broadcast gave way to music, some upbeat orchestral tune. We trotted alongside each other, Minty glancing behind himself and adjusting the contents of one of his new jacket's pockets.
"I had a feeling that those striped weapons might be the death of you sooner or later. Just keep me out of the blast radius." The augmented unicorn wore a smug smirk as we both turned down the main road, headed for the eastern gate. A dark figure flew overhead, landing in a plume of snow outside of the small shack and regaining herself, holding her drum-fed machine gun and stepping inside. Minty idly adjusted the long magnet rifle on his back, the high scrap wall drawing near.
"Hey, it just fires stripe- I mean, it just launches the eggs! It's totally Equestrian in design... unlike that lightning gun you came to love so much~ What was it's name, Ivan?" Letting off a snicker and watching as Minty snapped me a look, his horn flaring up faintly, we soon approached the gate. His magic came to a full flare a moment later, a familiar look in his eyes prompting me to duck as a head-sized ball of fluffy snow flew over my own, encompassed in his teal aura. Sorry Minty, better luck next- ...maybe I should remember things levitated in magic don't apply to the laws of inertia. Wiping and sneezing more snow free of my face, Bloodbeak leaned out of the window of the shack, letting off her own cackle of amusement.
"You two are a cute pair, yanno? Try not to get yourselves too badly beat up... I dunno if you can afford to lose another leg out there, eheh." She gave a smirk from her beak, pulling on a lever inside the shack and opening up the gate with a loud creak. Minty trotted forth with a rather noticeable blush on his face, myself still shaking some ice crystals out of my mane, the gryphon with a Thompson snickering lightly and watching Minty. "Does he know that he shakes his rear when he walks? It's... kinda adorable, really." The unicorn froze where he was, the snow surrounding both myself and bloodbeak glowing teal for a few breif moments, the unmistakable tinkling sound of magic filling the air. I let off a groan, finally brushing the last bits of ice out of my mane - she just had to say something, didn't she?
---
"Welcome back, all you fine mares and stallions out there in the north equestrian wasteland! You're listening to CONELRAD radio, six-forty twelve-forty on your AM radio reciever, home to news, music, and all that fun jazz. No matter how un-fun it can be at times...
"It's ten in the morning in cloudy, wonderful Mooscow right now, and across the wasteland everypony's waking up to go around with their daily business. Elsewhere, however, in the fine town of Pripytrot, war is going on in full force - some new reports from those ponies in power armor are saying that they're either facing some robots that they'd never seen before, or... Celestia forbid... We at CONELRAD will keep you updated on the situation as fast as we can pull in new reports, there's not a whole lot that we can go on right now but the most dangerous thing anypony can do is start to panic. Whatever is attacking, they're keeping to Pripytrot right now, and the Steel Rangers are making sure of that, so we as a wasteland should not start panicking. Keep your gun close and loaded, and watch out for unfamiliar robots.
Again, I'm not in the business of starting panics. We've been keeping a good wasteland going for the past 19 decades, no reason we should let whatever the fuck's happening there cause everything to break down. Everypony who can fend for themselves, protect your loved ones who can't, and if Celestia is smiling upon us, we'll make it through. Goddesses, this is just like the-*BZZZZRT*"
"We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a flashing news bulletin from the automated CONELRAD Civil Defense System. The containment structure of the Pripytrot Arcane Reactor has been hit with a large weapon of zebra origin. Damage reports to the reactor itself are unknown, but the readings of outside radiological detectors report a large release of highly lethal radioactive steam from the structure. Those living within Pripytrot are encouraged to evacuate immediately, and retreat to the cities of Quebuck, Trotisk, and Steel Creek.
"The Ministry of Arcane Science would like to remind everypony that a damaged Arcane Reactor in a power station will not ever result in a megaspell-yield explosive detonation.
"We repeat, CONELRAD encourages the evacuation of residents from Pripytrot to the cities of Trotisk, Quebuck, and Steel Creek. Do not seek out your nearest fallout shelter or Stable at this time, this is a localized and sudden Zebra attack upon the city of Pripytrot. The local police department will assist in coordinating evacuation from the city, please pay attention to their directions. Remained tuned to 640-1240 on your AM radio reciever for updates on the spread of fallout.
"This is an alert from the automated CONELRAD Civil Defense System. The containment structure of the Pripytrot Arcane Reactor has been hit with a large weapon of zebra origin. Damage reports to the reactor itself are unknown..."
---
"What do you mean, of course it'd work! You just need to find enough C4 and synthetic sugar, stick it in a microwave for twelve hours, and then you can extract your very own specialized firelighting agent!" Minty gave a roll of his eyes and shook his head as we moved along, myself rather miffed at his disbelief of my completely scientific explanation. It was all based in fact, I read it in the back of a Bert the Turtle civil defense booklet!... I think. Maybe. It was years ago, I was just a foal at the time. The red brick of the RobronCo factory came into view around the side of the mountain, a rather large collection of destroyed robots piling up in front of the structure. Whoo, business must be booming for Jumper Cables... please let her not be hooked up to a direct caffeine drip.
"Have I ever told you how crazy you are sometimes?" My augmented friend shuffled the thick coat as he pushed open the set of doors leading into the factory, us both suddenly being cheerfully greeted by a small robotic unicorn. What was of particular note, however, was this one seemed to have been purposefully based off of a vaguely familiar mare; where had I seen that face before? And that light purple and pink mane, gah, I know I've seen her somewhere. Maybe Minty might have an idea... or he's going ga-ga over it. Again. Guh.
"Welcome to the Sparkplugs Robotics factory, I'll be your guide for much of the tour. I can't guarantee your safety however, so please try and remember your own mortality." O...kay then, that was almost disturbingly cheerful in delivery. The robot mare smiled, turning herself around and giving us an smiling glance. "My indicators sense an overall reading of 89 percent possible fun levels. Largest percentage from the stallion following... you are invading my personal space." Okay, a robot mare with some sentience, that'll make things easier. Maybe. Biting down hard on Minty's tail - why did it taste like sweat, lust, and cotton stuffing? - I managed to drag him back from the robot mare, who promptly took a few steps away from him with a whirring of servos.
"Sorrymfh, he's a little crazy over robots." Flapping with my wings, the unicorn stallion fell to the floor with a clang of metal. Ooch, sorry Minty... "We're looking for Jumper Cables, is she available?" My augmented friend held his horn with a grimace of pain, stumbling slightly, the small unicorn marebot glancing between us both in mild confusion.
"Perhaps you need your visual receptors checked, I'm not a robot! Jumper Cables is unavailable for interviews due to her current status in her personal bed. She's been asleep for a while now, in fact." My augmented friend gave his head a shake, adjusting his glasses and looking down at the small robot. She took a step away from the teal-maned unicorn, looking up at him uneasily. "I can assist with anything else you may require, so long as it doesn't involve any more invasions of my personal space." I passed a glance over to Minty, and the small glint of a metal port hidden by his shuffled mane. Ugh, well, at least I don't have any explosives on me, and part of me doesn't want to spend the time walking all the way there anyways... worth a shot.
"Could you show us where the spare spark batteries are kept?"
---
"I can't believe you brought it with us." Letting off a long grunt, I adjusted the incapacitated robotic mare on my back, trotting forwards and sinking into the snowbanks around NEAMO's entrance. The unicorn beside me idly chewed at his lip, making sure not to look over at me, the both of us stepping inside the pre-war facility with heavy steps. Down the stairs, turn right, third hallway down leads to Mary's chamber, and Celestia knows that's where the Doc should be. As much as we really wanted to know what in the name of the goddesses was going on, I couldn't help but let off a small giggle of glee at the sight of the gigantic gun. Nnnh, focus Twintails, you're here and pissed off for a reason... ooh, but it's a gun that fires megaspells! How can I not be excited?! The orange mare with a stetson rolled her eyes, myself bouncing as much as I could with the robot on my back, promptly stopping when that expression of glee was replaced with one of pain as something back there popped quite loudly. Stupid robot...
"Doc? Are you in here? We need to talk to you." Minty trotted around the great chamber, a certain look of determination on his face, myself following after a moment of ensuring my spine wasn't cleft in twain. The ghoulish earth pony climbed up over from the opposite side of the barrel, landing carefully on the maneframe and coming down the stairway, looking both surprised and rather annoyed. My unicorn friend focused eyes on him, his expression darkening, myself trotting up alongside as the Doc reached the lower landing and stepped off of the gun.
"My my, I was almost certain that you two had died when those two zebra warheads detonated. You seem to have an unnerving attraction to causing massive explosions, perhaps you two should step back from Megaspell Mary before you get us all killed." The bicentennial earth pony looked between us, almost condescendingly, before pressing aside and trotting past. "If you hadn't encountered them before, yes those uparmored robots are mine, I grew impatient. I have several hundred more remaining at my disposal, and I will see Megaspell Mary completed this decade... no matter the cost." Well... I guess he had a point on thinking we were both dead, but, geesh. He continued trotting forwards to the doorway, Minty's magic lighting up with a rather vigorous sound and fury. I glanced over in time to watch his large rifle levitate off of his back and fly over to the Doc, the impact of the broad side of it knocking him over and the barrel's tip against the back of his head keeping him pinned to the cold steel floor. My augmented friend charged up to him, tears streaming down his face, the expression wrenched into one of blind fury... oh no.
"You selfish fucking bastard!! You... you cunt! All we've done is help, and after so long you, you just up and throw us the fuck away, like we were trash!?" Okay, this is really freaking me out here Minty, please tone it down before you splatter the Doc's brains on the floor... The augmented unicorn breathed in heaving breaths, sputtering cries escaping his mouth as he kept the long rifle held against the ghoul's head. "We've almost died, so many fucking times, just trying to get all this shit together for you and your stupid fucking cannon, and you don't show us the smallest bit of gratitude? And what for, so you can shoot it at Zebras?! News flash for you, I met a zebra, and he wasn't anything fucking like what my Stable said they were like. So tell me exactly why I shouldn't crush and blow your head right the fuck off!!!" Minty sniffed and kept his teeth clenched tightly, the earth pony ghoul held underneath his rifle's barrel starting to let off a series of low chuckles. His forehooves pulled back one of the sleeves of his coat, revealing a small metallic device attached around... no, implanted in his foreleg.
"Because..." His chuckles grew in volume, Minty starting to pull the rifle off of his head, letting him come back up into a standing position. I think I might recognize that thing, yeah, it was a creation they made during the latter days of the first war to relay and see how many hoofsoldiers were killed in battle, constantly sends out a radio ping as long as the user is alive. But, what was this one pinging to? The Doc brushed himself off, holding up his forehoof with a smug grin on his decomposed face. "This is a Dead Hoof Switch. Equestrian innovation. If I die, this stops sending a signal to the relays on twenty-five high-yield megaspell warheads armed and buried throughout this complex." Did... did he just say... "It was a matter of insurance I had them install. Couldn't let this facility fall into the hooves of the enemy, you know. Thankfully it still recognizes me as alive, despite my... appearance."
Minty dropped the rifle from his aura, it falling with a clang against the ground. Dead Hoof Switch wired up to megaspells... buried... he'd start a whole new nuclear winter if those things went off! The sound of a falling clipboard filled our ears as it echoed throughout the chamber, everyone turning eyes to look at where it came from. Our view settled on the nurse, her tattered mane and coat hanging limply out of an equally ruined jacket, as she stared at the Doc in utter shock. The earth pony ghoul let loose a grunt, readjusting his sleeve and trotting forwards. "What? You think I would have just let Megaspell Mary be overrun by whatever traipsed in? Why are you wearing that jacket anyways, you're supposed to be in your station, tending to... whatever it is you do when I'm not with you. Go try and tape your skin back on, or something."
The mare continued staring on for a few moments, before stiffening what was left of her lips in a determined frown and picking up a pencil with her mouth, scribbling on the fallen clipboard. She glared up at the Doc while writing, Minty sliding his rifle onto his back and taking a wide berth in walking away from the Doc and towards the mare, myself following. With a swift kick, the ghoul nurse sent the clipboard sliding along the floor to the now exceptionally more lethal earth pony, who caught it and read off what was written before staring back up at us three, fury in his face.
"Fine! Go ahead and quit, see exactly how much I care about you! Megaspell Mary is almost finished anyways, and I don't need you anymore than I need them!" The Doc spun himself around, walking up to the cannon in a blind fury, the nurse and Minty both turning down the exit tunnel. I lingered for a few moments more, staring up at the Doc and Megaspell Mary, quietly thinking. No one stallion should be able to hold that much power... especially one like him. No number of megaspell detonations was worth it if it meant aiding that lunatic.
Without a word more, I spun myself around, catching up with Minty and the nurse.
---
"I am NEVER going to get used to that." I held my head with a hoof as the smell of ozone faded around us, Minty giving his head a shake and the Nurse similarly seeming quite disoriented. Note to self, never let Minty plug himself into a wall socket to teleport EVER again. We had appeared outside of Cross' shop, the day having already moved along to the late evening, the activities of the town winding down. The nurse looked around nervously, pulling out a small notepad from her jacket and pulling the pencil from the ring, scribbling on it and holding it out for myself to view. 'Job?' Oh, right, we did tell her that she could find work in Mooscow... I think I'd rather be safe than sorry. Minty stepped himself inside the shop, myself resting a hoof gently on the nurse's shoulder and looking down the road to the main thoroughfare.
"There's another ghoul that lives here, she's in the basement of the cathedral at the eastern end of the main square. To the right, I think, it's the building that has the weird domes on top of it, can't miss it. You can stay there for the night, and ask her for directions to the hospital in the morning, alright?" Passing on a small smile, the ghoul nurse returned it in kind, nodding softly before drawing myself into a quick hug. After a moment, she released myself, galloping down the street with a parting wave, myself still smiling as I stepped inside the shop, the robot still on my back, Cross looking utterly surprised and Minty... laying on the floor with one hell of a blush on his face, moaning like he was getting a hoofjob from the goddesses themselves. Uh, well, um, okay then. The robotic mare upon my back whined up to life, her eyes flickering on and a musical chord playing from her voicebox before her perpetually cheerful voice came out of it.
"Insert name Sweetie Belle!"
-----
I moaned as I squirmed on the floor, my face growing flushed as my breathing grew heavier. What was… ooooh, that felt good… happening? I could feel my horn sparking from the sensations running through it, before the feeling suddenly began to die down, almost as quickly as it had started. Taking a deep breath, I stood up shakily, my body already dampened between the warmth of the jacket, and the pleasure-wrought sweat. I glanced between Cross and Twintails, both of whom were extremely confused and seeming more than a little disgusted. The small robot filly just stared at me, the apertures of its eyes closing and opening quickly to blink. “What the heck was that all about?” My pegasus friend stepped forwards as I shook my head, trying to regain my bearings. That was definitely something that didn’t need to happen again...
“Ugh… I don’t know…” I said in response, feeling more than a little odd after that sudden onset of pleasure. I shook my head again, still a little shaky. “Let’s just… uh...” I swallowed. “So… um, Cross. We got you a little something.” Letting off a weak chuckle, I smiled as the small robot turned to face Cross, beeping happily and wearing a smile... how did metal move like that? “Top of the line, SWB-07. She’s programmable for pretty much anything.” The robot wandered around the room, her gears and servos whirring as she inspected everything. “I thought she might be able to help out a little here, at least with running errands and the like.” The robot trotted up to Cross, suddenly standing stalk-still before him. A beam of light ran up and down his frame, Cross looking a little worried. This was one weird robot...
“Scanning… Scanning… Scanning…” The robot said before the laser grid shut off, and it's glass pupils returned to their original size. “Adding identification, insert name: Cross Stitch, to civilian archives. Category; friend.” It snapped out of its stupor, smiling back up at Cross, who was looking a little more worried by the minute. What? C'mon Cross Stitch, there’s nothing wrong with her! “Potential fun levels are at 86 percent!” She said gleefully. Cross looked over to me, trying to put on a straight face.
“Uh… thanks! But… um…” He paused, watching as the robot scurried about, gazing at the clothing and cracked wooden flooring. “Maybe… you guys should take her for now, show her around town! I, um, I need to get to work on some jackets. There’s a lot of demand for a coat that’ll actually conserve heat around here." He chuckled a little, moving around to distance himself from the robot. His eyes lit up as he stopped, looking up at myself, his magic flaring up as he glanced to his discarded coat. “Oh, though I could do with a repair on your little toy.” He levitated the plasma pistol out of his pocket, hovering it over to me. I grabbed it in my aura and stuffed it into my saddlebags. “This should be enough for repair, though if the money for the gun and this is able to buy something better, I wouldn’t complain. It’d be nice knowing I have a little more security around here.” He counted out a number of caps from the register and slid them into a small bag. “Honestly, I’d probably do better with a normal gun. Those long laser and plasma lectures of yours kind of went over my head sometimes, Minty.” He chuckled again, and I smiled in return.
He waved as Twintails, uh... Sweetie Belle, right, and myself all headed out of the store. The robot’s eyes flittered about, taking in all of the scenery that it could, the neck motors whirring audibly. We began to make our way towards Razorwing’s shop, myself kicking a can down the dimly-lit street. “I told you she’s a little weird.” Twintails said. I rolled my eyes in response; so Cross wasn’t as enthusiastic about her as I was, she’ll grow on him. We rounded a corner, the beaten up sign of Razor’s store swinging lightly in the breeze.
“Oh, be quiet. I told you she could be more for the security anyway. I don’t want Cross wandering around the wasteland on his own.” Belle’s head turned towards a crow taking flight, when suddenly two beams of red energy shot from her eyes, the crow falling to the ground in a smoking pile of ash. Eeeeeh, okay, may need to fiddle with the hostility settings on her. The bell above the door jingled as we entered the shop, Razor looking up from mopping and giving his wings a gentle ruffle. Sheesh, does he ever do anything besides clean here?
“Hey guys, long time, no see.” He said cheerfully. The robotic filly’s gaze transfixed onto Razor and she started to go through the scanning procedure again. “And, eh, who’s your friend here? Eheh...” He looked down at the laser grid across his chest as Belle finished her scan, immediately turning away from him and scanning the area. “She’s, ah, certainly curious.” He said, watching her stare up at a collection of mines curiously. “Anyways... right, how’ve you two been?” He turned back to us, leaning against his mop.
“We’ve been doing well.” Twintails said as I ran after Belle, stopping her from pulling the pin on a pulse grenade. “We got her up from that old RobronCo factory... accidentally.” Twintails nodded towards Belle as I scooted her towards a safer pile of scrap metal. “I’m just hoping she doesn’t accidentally vaporize us.” I glared at Twintails and he only smirked. “Anything new in stock?” Razor took a small passing glance over his disarmed battle saddle, and pointed him over to a rack of grenades and a few shining, black gems.
I glanced back at Belle, who was just fiddling with a rusted gear, thankfully. Wrapping them in my aura, I lifted out Cross’s pistol and caps, setting them on the counter as Razorwing stepped behind it. “What’ve you got in the way of pistols? Cross Stitch is looking to trade up.” Razorwing looked over the old Stable-issue pistol in disbelief, blinking a few times before pulling one out from under the counter behind him. It looked somewhat similar to Twintails’ pistol in the way the grip was - not looking much like a mouth-fire, that is - but with a much wider and longer barrel, and nothing to call it semi-automatic. The frame was more than a little tarnished, quite a few scratches visible on the handle. He picked up the plasma pistol and examined it with a look of disbelief, shaking his head, setting it down below the counter and punching a couple keys on the cash register.
“Let’s see, ah, I’ll give you 83 caps for that pistol, it's in pretty bad... well, okay, I'm going to level with you, I've seen weapons pulled out of hellhound stomachs that looked less destroyed than that. Anyway, how’s this? Specialized silenced pistol, Welrod it's called, I found it a while ago and I’ve been trying to give it a little more stopping power. It’s more noisy than it would be with it's normal ammunition, but still shouldn’t wake the neighbors. Turns a .45 shot into a smack of a wing, eheh.” I tossed the bag of caps onto the counter, the gryphon digging through it, counting them up before setting them in the register and pulling out a few boxes of the same bullets Twintails sticks in his gun. “Pleasure doing business. Need anything else?” I shook my head, but at that moment Twintails stepped up to the counter with a couple of those large gems, smiling from ear to ear. With an eyeroll, I walked over to Belle, who had secured together a paint gun and nozzle, giggling as the gun fired off a dart at a board hanging on the wall, with an old Ministry of Peace poster on it. The little yellow pegasus in my head fainted as I looked more closely at where the dart went - right between her eyes. Okay, no leaving the robot alone with toys, then!
I scooped up the makeshift gun, setting it back on the shelf and shooting the robot a stern look. Belle looked disappointed, but stood up and followed me over to Twintails as he slid the eggs into his saddlebags. “What’s been going on for you lately?” Razor shrugged, ruffling his wings a bit. Belle stood quietly, but kept taking an interest in Razor’s bladed feathers. She already built some kind of dart gun, now she wants forge some metal wings? I really ought to take a second look at her programming... Razor wheeled his mop bucket back into the closet, dumping off some caps in a safe inside.
“Nothing much, really. Trade’s been up, we’ve been getting a lot of strange news reports from CONELRAD though... probably about you two, now that I think about it, and I lost a bet yesterday.” He chuckled nonchalantly, resting back up against the counter and moving his bladed wings about. The blades creaked as they conformed to his wing edge, Razorwing giving his talons a quick snap. “Actually, a couple days ago, there was a pony that came in looking for a lot of weird scrap stuff, then asked about what was happening out in Pripytrot. She was wearing some sort of uniform underneath a cloak, and she wasn’t that keen on sticking around. My best bet was she’s part of the Steel Rangers, but they usually don’t come out over here.” I raised an eyebrow. Some weird officer asking about a warzone? This didn’t have to do with NEAMO too, did it? Or - Celestia forbid - Nova? “That’s about it though. You guys wouldn’t know the mare, would you?” Twintails and I shook our heads. Razor shrugged and waved goodbye as we headed out of the store, Twintails giggling and shuffling the gems in his saddlebags as I dropped Cross’s new gun and ammo into my own.
Belle trotted along beside us, the clangs of her metal hoofsetps muffled by the crunchy snow. The few ponies we passed in the street that were still awake gave her odd looks, but she paid them no mind. I did have to wonder why nopony's come looking for her yet, though... Jumper Cables didn’t steal her, or rig her with a Balefire Egg, right? I watched the little filly trotting behind us with her mechanical whirring as we moved back to Cross' shop, stepping in through the front door. He passed on a smile as I pulled the new gun out of my saddlebags, giving the unloaded pistol a light flick over to him with my magic. Glancing over at Twintails, I swore he was having a heart attack - what, it's unloaded, isn't it? Cross caught it in his own aura and looked it over, as I placed the ammo for it on the counter beside the cash register. “It’s silenced, so if there’s multiple burglars, they won’t know you took the other down.”
“Thanks.” Cross said, sliding the gun into the front pocket of his jacket and giving a small smile. It faltered teh faintest bits as he looked to Twintails and the robotic filly, the former restraining the latter from disassembling a sering machine. “Good to know I'll have some protection while you're away. Y-yeah, probably is for the best... that robot is way too curious for me to handle.” I glanced over to her, Twintails now trying to keep her from nabbing one of his grenades. “W-well, anyways, it’s already pretty late, I think I’ll head off to bed.” He stepped out from behind the counter, leaning in a little closer and bumping his flank against mine. “Care to join me, peppermint?” He grinned coyly, myself blushing deeply. You don’t need to ask me twice~ Cross turned to Twintails before we headed upstairs, myself catching them both apparently wrestling with each other. “Uh... Minty and I are going to bed, you, um, you might want to shut down that thing before you do the same.”
Twintails nodded, the Sweetie Bot squirming beneath him. “Nnnfh, yeah, night, you two!” I waved and bade goodnight as well, before heading upstairs, Cross grinning widely. We were soon back in his room, stripped down and cuddling up in bed. Cross’s horn flared up as the sets of stuffed cloth floated over to us from the closet, levitating and loving down to our waists. Ooh, tonight was definitely going to be another good night...
---
I awoke with my hooves wrapped around Cross, our muzzles only inches apart from each other. I gave him a light peck on the nose, and gave a faint giggle as his eyes fluttered open. It was always cute how he did that. “Morning, sweetie~” I threw back the covers and hopped out of bed, Cross doing much the same, giving his back a healthy stretch and kicking off the padding from his back legs, a blush upon his face. I trotted to the closet, pulling out my combat armor, Cross looking over, a look disappointment growing upon his face. “You guys are heading out again already?” I nodded, but gave him another nuzzle. He smiled softly, wrapping a forehoof around my neck and planting his lips upon my own for a moment. “Ooh, at least let me fix your guys breakfast, first. Can't have you heading out to celestia-knows-where on an empty stomach~” He gave a faint giggle, pulling on his jacket.
I trotted myself over to Twintails’ room, knocking a few times. After a few moments, there was an audible grunt from behind it, and he soon showed up to the door, his mane looking quite scraggly and eyes seeming strained. “sheesh, rough night? Cross is making breakfast before we head out, ought to get ready now.” He nodded and rubbed his eyes before closing the door, a loud thump coming from behind it. Crazy pegasus insomniac, I keep telling him that drinking all that radioactive sludge can't be healthy. I trotted down the hall to the kitchen, Cross already pouring some pancake mix into a frying pan.
“Take a seat, this should be done soon.” He said happily. I sat at the small table, Cross flipping the pancake in the air. Twintails soon arrived, sliding into the chair with his loaded battle saddle next to me, as Belle followed behind him. Cross laid out a few plates, sliding all the pancakes onto them. “There we are. Might be a little irradiated, but they should taste fine.” He smiled widely, levitating the pan over to a sinkful of warm water. Twintails and I took a few of the pancakes, as Cross slid into his own chair and grabbed some for himself, the robot looking up curiously with her hooves resting on the table.
We were soon comfortably full with fried batter and butter, myself and Twintails washing the dishes. “Remind me when we come back to make some syrup for those pancakes. I'm thinking, maybe, Sunrise Sarsaparilla-flavored~” I chuckled lightly, drying the pan off. Cross laughed a bit, setting the dishes in the cupboard as Twintails shut off the water and dried his hooves, making a gagging sound. I made a distinct point of smacking him upside the head with a wet sponge before we all trotted back downstairs, myself wearing a smirk. “Well, I guess we’re heading out now.” I hitched up my saddlebags and levitated up my long rifle in my magic, as Belle hopped onto my back again. Still need a bloody name for this thing... Jolts? Cross’s ears lowered a bit as I turned to face him again, but he still wore a smile.
“I’ll see you again soon, some sunny day, maybe.” He trotted up to myself, Twintails snickering lightly, the royal-blue unicorn giving me a hug. I squeezed him tightly before letting go, Cross and Twintails shaking hooves before we all trotted out into the cold. Brr, this armor was better than nothing, but that jacket sure was a lot warmer... Twintails and I began to make our way towards the entrance of Mooscow, Belle grinning widely and leaning on my head.
“The fun levels will be at maximum efficiency!”
-----
"Right... okay, first things first, I don't want to have a paperweight's worth of lead in my ass again, we need to take her back to the factory." Gesturing to the robotic mare on Minty's back, I shuffled about, letting off a slight groan at the weight of all the stuff I was carrying on my back. Okay, maybe I should find somewhere to put all these... hundred and fifty... goddesses, did I really take that much? Could've sworn my pip-buck responded with a cheeky beep after I'd thought that... guh. I need to get more sleep. The robot- uh, Sweetie Belle... oh hell, I'm just going to call her Sweetie Bot, looked over at myself quizzically, sliding off Minty's back and hopping into the snowy street with a thud and light, odd, monotoned scream.
"Please don't take me back there, all the other ponies there treat me funny. You both are extremely more likely candidates for inducing fun, anyways!" She bounced along in the snow, her leg servos whirring loudly, her mannerisms even managing to draw a confused look from Minty. I shot him a smirk of 'told you so', drawing an eyeroll out of him as we followed behind her, the small robotic filly garnering quite a bit of attention from passers-by and other ponies who were just starting to wake up themselves. Minty tugged at his combat armor again, grumbling and seeming to try and get the kevlar tighter around his body - c'mon, he gets a new jacket and suddenly everything isn't warm enough? Sheesh. The robot paused at the end of the street, looking around what was left of the large city with a grin. "Mooscow. Sensors indicate many sentient life forms within the brick walls, including Sweetie Belle!"
"Right, sure, sure... Uh, Sweetie? Look, we kind of have to go back to the factory, just to see if it's okay for you to stick with us, alright?" Minty trotted up to the small filly, resting his metallic hoof gently against the side of her head. The filly, um, 'blinked' I guess, looking up at him wide-eyed and cheery. My unicorn friend chewed at his lip, the robot refocusing. "It isn't that we want to take you back and leave you there, but... we don't really own you, yet. Well, I mean, we need to adopt you, or, uh, something... Twintails, what's a word for owning a sentient lifeform in the form of a robot?" Blinking a few times, I shrugged in response, the filly scanning over Minty's face for a moment, her smile fading.
"What am I, a dictionary? Come on, let's see how much this Sweetie Bot is going to cost us... Gfh... I hope she takes scrap as payment..." I shuffled myself along towards the eastern gate, the both of them getting up and following alongside, the ferromagnetic filly giving my own face a quick scan. Her smile seemed to drop further, as her eyes blinked again, a brown blur carrying a familiar gun landing with a large plume of white snow outside the gate box. Taking a chance glance down at Sweetie Bot, I immediately regretted that decision - oooh, stop giving me that face!
"Sensors indicate raised levels of annoyance. Please don't aim your weapons at me and threaten to disassemble me for spare parts." Was... was that actually fear in her voice? Goddesses, what were they doing at that factory? Bloodbeak smiled that coy smile she always wore, watching as we three approached the eastern gate. She let off a chuckle, leaning forwards out of the booth and getting a better look at the robot filly that trotted beneath us both. Her eyes projected that green film again, prompting Bloodbeak to jump backwards and go for her .45 Automatic, before the filly finished her scan and bore a smile again. "Insert new civilian archive, Mooscow, Bloodbeak. Occupation; Gatekeeper. Elevated levels of iron within face feathers imply carnivoristic attitude, and the high levels of dopamine suggest tha-tha-tha-... error, system restart..."
"Uh... either one of you mind explaining what the actual fuck that thing is?" The gryphon set down her gun, Minty rubbing at the back of his head as the filly's head whirred down to a resting position on the servos, the light from the eyes fading. Bloodbeak stood silent for a few moments, seeming to mouth a few words before suddenly lunging from out of the gate booth's window and grabbing myself by the duster. Ack, well, this was... something else. There was a certain look in her eye I've come to associate with the smell of cigars and heavy machine gun caliber powder charges. "What the fuck can that do? How much would it know, and can it tell that to -anyone-?" Blinking a few times, I shook my head, starting to feel the least bit panicked as the gryphon's talons dug deeper holes into the fabric. "If that thing says anything about... fuck... j-just forget it. Keep it out of my sight. Taking it up to the old RobronCo Factory for something? Memory wipe, I hope?" Bloodbeak finally dropped myself, letting me stumble backwards as she moved to the lever inside the booth and opened up the outer wall doors.
"S-something like that, yeah. We'll, uh, we'll be out of your feathers..." Minty levitated the robotic filly up onto his back, stepping through the outer gates, myself following and looking down at my barding. Oh, damnit, now it's got holes in it... buh, they're not too bad. Just through the outer flap-things anyways. The gates shut behind us both, the filly making some odd electronical noises from her mouth as she, uh, rebooted, I suppose. My augmented friend glanced back at her for a moment, then over to myself, the morning sun sliding behind the clouds above. "What do you think that was about? She said something about Dopamine... isn't that the chemical that causes pleasure, or something?"
"Uh... maybe. I never really paid attention in biology class." Shrugging idly, we pressed on in a certain silence, the whirring of Sweetie's servos filling the air for the moment. The icy wasteland air blew a stark chill against my face as I glanced towards the north, a plume of wispy snow stinging my eyes momentarily. My loaded battle saddle responded in kind with my jerking moments with a cacaphony of jingles, prompting a smug glance back from Minty as he kept his goop rifle and that electro-sniper levitated at his sides. Stupid unicorns with their stupid magic. Let's see how well he can levitate things with a snowball on that horn... "Mintythinkfast!"
"Wha-?" The ball of ice and fluff impacted with a rather satisfying thwack against my augmented friend's head, drawing a giggle from myself as he wrestled to use his regular hoof to brush his face clear. It was a long walk to the factory anyways, we needed something to lighten the mood. Sweetie Bot glanced between us curiously, a smile forming on her own face as she flailed her forehooves in the air happily with a whirr of motors. Minty, meanwhile, took care in setting his two rifles up onto his back before turning his magic and attention back to me; in other words, gave me another chance to send a snowball his way. Oh, that was such a fun sound~
"Fun levels rising! Initiate program snowball fight!" A response of three cold balls of snow smacking me in the face set myself into a flurry of laughter, Minty similarly joining in after a moment, the highway leading through towards the turnoff for the RobronCo factory turning into a small battleground. Snowballs began flying haphazardly, myself diving for one snowed-in ditch while Minty moved for the other side of the road, both of us laughing madly. There was an odd crunching sound a ways back, the barrage between myself and the white unicorn kept up in full force, not slowing until we both noticed the sky beginning to turn darker. I managed in one last toss that fell short, before we both found ourselves carpet-bombed by a veritable boxcar-load of snow from above - oh, this is going to be cold...
After a few moments of dodging and eventually being thoroughly pummeled by the snow bombardment, I shook myself off, flopping over as the heavy balefire egg launcher mounted at my side bid me to. Still clearing my face from some of the snow, I jumped a little at being gretted by the robotic filly's grinning stare, herself bouncing happily in the snow for a few moments as we all regrouped. In a small state of disbelief, I looked over the battleground that was the road; there were snow-packed mini-craters everywhere around, and even some... uh... were... were those actually bomb tails? Out of curiousness, I worked one of the sculptures free from the snow, finding myself in disbelief as I stared down at the packed-snow sculpture of a half-size fifty-kilo bomb. The robotic filly let off a groan of disappointment, sliding up alongside myself and likewise staring at the casing.
"89% detonation rate, carpet bombardment effective but a count of 7 ordinance pieces left undetonated." She stepped up to the snow bomb, resting a robotic hoof on the packed casing as I took a few steps away from the explosive snow. What kind of filly are we dealing with here?... Sweetie Bot moved back, levitating the bomb up in her magic and grinning widely, myself glancing over at Minty. Nope, yep, he's just as worried as I am. "Initiating manual detonation sequence!" Wait, what!? The little unicorn filly had all of the bombs levitated now, hanging detonator-first above the road, lifting them an inch before slamming them all against the packed asphalt.
You know, I think I'm starting to really hate robotic foals.
---
"Hello North Equestria, you're listening to CONELRAD radio on your AM band reciever, reporting coverage of the Pripytrot reactor disaster and battleground. Bert the Turtle is currently occupied and has asked me to fill in for him, but he would like to thank the sick and pregnant residents of Mooscow for evacuating calmly to Stable 92 in accordance with the automated warning system alerts. Radiation is a real danger - you don't have to ask me to learn that - especially to those with open sores or other ailments. If you wish to take extra steps to prevent ghoulification for yourself, any form of face mask that covers the muzzle and mouth thoroughly will lessen exposure to stray radioactive particles. Many forms of fallout are not dangerous so long as they remain outside of your body, hence why the washing and boiling of food is heavily encouraged. Take it from an old act like me, becoming a ghoul isn't fun, and it's certainly not a pretty process.
"The cloud from the reactor, according to these weather charts I'd done up, will likely be spreading over Quebuck in the next day or so, and continuing on to dissapate across the farther north and the Snowdrop test range. Anypony living out near Quebuck or the outskirts of, uh, Turnpike are encouraged to remain indoors and refrain from actvity that might result in open wounds unless absolutely necessary. That includes the act of love, if any of you were wondering - sorry folks. Look on the bright side, the depravation help builds the anticipation! Eheh... heh... ah... Anyways. Bert the Turtle will resume with his normal broadcasting in a few hours, so please keep your dials tuned in and be conscious about your radition dosage. This is Tom Neighrer, signing off - be safe, everyone."
"A lonely electron, with nuthin' to do,
pairs up with a neutron for a cocktail or two,
Arcane magic kisses, survived by a few,
they had a - megaspell blast.
Said the electron to the neutron,
'you sure can be dense,
with this much attraction, there's no civil defense.
Let go of that energy, no need to be tense,
give me that - megaspell blast."
---
"Welcome to RobronCo factory one-eight-three-three-four, established two centuries ago for the production of wartime emergency protection robotics and now under new management. How may I be of assistance today?" The regular secretarial robots patrolled in the factory atrium, Sweetie Bot making herself comfortable on my back. To say that my spine will resemble a boomerang once all this crazy stuff is over would be an understatement. The robot filly tried to hide herself from the sight of the robots, seeming to squeeze my neck in fear - my errant gagging got her to loosen up her grip just in time for me to not pass out. Stupid robots... "You appear to be in posession of RobronCo/Sparkplug property, are you here for returns or wish to locate a sales associate?"
"Sales associate, thank you. Specifically, might we be able to discuss this robot with an employee named Jumper Cables?" Minty wore a smile as he spoke to the secretarial robot, acting just like he were chatting with a normal pony. I let off a little snicker - normal. Right. Normal is about as weird as you can get in these parts. The secretarial mare thought for a moment... would thought be the right word? Processed, maybe? Whatever the word is, a moment later she had nodded and turned towards a nearby elevator, pausing in front of it as we both moved to the doors. An electrical spark erupted from her chest, connecting with the panel, the elevator letting out a ding before arriving and allowing us all aboard. Sweetie Bot let off a worried whine, moving herself closer against my neck as we began to ascend up to the main office.
"Hope that she's not too expensive, I'm not sure if Jumper Cables is as much an afficionado of Sparkle-Cola as I am..." Sweetie Bot shuffled on my back, Minty letting off a small laugh. With a robotic thud, the small filly fell off of myself - oooh, boy that felt relaxing to not be carrying her around anymore - righting herself up onto her hooves and moving to hide between my tails. I glanced over at my augmented friend, who was shaking his head and stifling his snickers. "What?"
"If she was drinking that stuff when she fixed this one up, I'm not surprised they were trying to destroy it. Probably has some circuitry wired to short somewhere, miracle it works at all..." Oh, so Sparkle-Cola makes you stupid, huh? Holding a hoof against my forehead and shaking it in disbelief, Minty kept up his laughter as the elevator released another ding, coming to rest on the top floor. So I have to deal with two immature robots, huh? Great.
"You know, I think I recall seeing one of the doctors working on fixing your augmentations with a bottle of Sparkle-Cola in hoof. I did remember reading somewhere that radiation was supposed to energize pleasure centers - hey, maybe that's why you suddenly burst into orgasm last night~" I let off my own light snicker at Minty's silence, trotting forwards and pressing through the large ornate doors, opening up to the expansive office and a heavily snoring mare surrounded by coffee mugs and empty bottles of Sparkle-Cola. Hey, maybe she is just as much a Sparkle-hound as I am. The large portrait of the dashing stallion in front of the giant robotic hoof stared down from the wall, myself and Sweetie Bot stepping up to the sleeping Jumper Cables as she continued to snore in her chair. "Uh... Jumper Cables?..."
"My sensors detected an extreme level of exhaustion in her body, so I administered a mild dragon tranquilizer to help her fall asleep!" The robotic filly bounced on her hooves, grinning widely and looking up at myself. I returned in kind by allowing my jaw to hit the floor. "Of course... that was a few days ago... ooh, ooh, I know how to wake her up!" With a smile she jumped up onto the desk, aiming her horn at the sleeping earth pony mare, Minty coming up alongside myself just in time to glance worryingly between Sweetie Bot and Jumper Cables. "Initiating reboot!"
The smell of ozone filled the air for a fleeting moment before a bolt of electricity jumped from the robotic filly's horn and met Jumper Cables' body. Both myself and Minty shared a cringe as the mare shuddered involuntarily, gasping for air in the moments following the electric alarm clock surprise. Sweetie Bot stood herself back up, wearing a smile, the mare in the chair brushing down her staticed mane and regaining herself, albeit slowly. She looked around the room, myself trotting forwards up to the desk. "Jumper Cables? Are you alright?"
"Uhm, y-yeah, I think so... what the hell is that doing up here!? I thought I had it disabled!" The earth pony reeled backwards from the desk, staring at the grinning filly atop it, looking around haphazardly and grabbing one of the discarded Sparkle-Cola bottles defensively. Oh, this is going swimmingly, isn't it? In a wide arc, she moved behind Minty, still watching the robot filly as the servos whirred to move its own head. O...kay, after about 90 degrees in either direction a rotating head starts to get kind of creepy. "G-get away from that thing! Celestia knows who programmed it, I just want it gone!"
"Eheh, funny you should mention that..." Minty rubbed at the back of his head, wearing a sheepish grin, turning himself to face the defensive mare. Weak chuckles escaped him as he glanced back at the robot for a moment, letting off a slight groan. "We, um... well, yesterday when we stopped by, I may have -accidentally- teleported out with her. We're here to, uh, well..." My augmented friend chewed at his lip slightly, myself sliding over to Sweetie Bot and pulling her off of the desk. "How much would you want for her?"
"Y-you actually... you want to... for..." Dropping the glass soda bottle, Jumper Cables stuttered for a few moments, leaning herself up against the wall and placing a hoof to her temple, rubbing it gently. She let off a small groan as Sweetie Bot made herself comfortable on my back, and I felt my spine starting to stretch in ways it wasn't meant to again. The earth pony mare chuckled, shaking her head, looking over at the both of us. "Please, in the name of the goddesses, just take her. That's payment enough."
"Uh... okay, then." Myself and Minty shared a faintly confused glance towards one another, Sweetie Bot watching from her perch atop my back. Jumper Cables made her way back around behind her desk, looking around for a moment and pulling out a bottle of Sparkle-Cola with a strange red labeling on it. A different flavor of Sparkle-Cola? That actually GLOWS?! Why didn't we have any of that in my Stable? She popped open the cap, one of her robots hovering over with a few small cups as well, herself still chuckling weakly through her teeth and shaking her head in disbelief.
"You wanna know the funniest part of all this? That... thing was supposed to be the hundredth robot we sold out. Was saving this stuff for that occasion. You boys like Sparkle-Cola?" With a rather eager smile upon my face, I nodded quite profusely, chuckling and taking a glance over at Minty. He shuffled upon his hooves faintly, looking at the glowing bottle of soda and the three cups set out. I gave him an idle poke in the side, smiling over at him.
"C'mon, not even once? Cross doesn't have to know~ Who knows, this stuff might even taste more like your Sunrise Sarsaparswilla than Sparkle-Cola, hah!" Chuckling lightly, I smiled and watched as the bottle was poured out into the three glasses, the drink still visibly glowing even outside of the bottle. reaching my foreleg out for the cup nearest mine, the geiger counter in my Pip-buck clicked faintly - ooh, probably just contamination from the bombs, nothing to fret about. It's Sparkle-Cola, after all! Jumper Cables picked up her own small glass of the drink, Minty begrudgingly encompassing the third glass in his magic. That's the spirit, you Sunrise convert.
"To having one less headache around here." Jumper Cables let off a chuckle, us all gently clinking the glasses together before taking a collective sip. Mmmm, what was that taste? Carrots? No... potatoes? Ew, no. Apples? Beets? Guh. I'm supposed to be a Sparkle-Cola connoisseur, and I can't even figure out what the heck this stuff tastes like? Oh, whatever, it tasted great! With a few more small sips the glowing drink was resting comfortably inside my stomach, Jumper Cables likewise having pulled the mostly emptied bottle out to take a glance at the contents. A third empty glass was levitated over and set down near the other two, my gaze turning to Minty in surprise. He glanced nervously between us both, wiping a bit of the glowing soda from his muzzle.
"W-what? It was... I drank it without gagging, alright?" Oh, it was cute when he blushed. The earth pony mare blinked a few times, setting the glass bottle down on her desk and looking at the label again. Sparkle-Cola RAD? Sparkle-Cola RAD... I'll have to remember what these things look like. That stuff was tasty, and it already glowed in the dark! I smell a new night light for me~
"Hey, um, you guys ever heard of this stuff called Strontium 90 before?" She spun the bottle about, myself and Minty leaning in to get a better look at the ingredients list. Radishes, of course! So that's what that taste was. Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, caffeine, all that lovely stuff, and... huh, whaddayaknow, it did contain Strontium 90. Aw, that's a cute little trefoil they have printed right next to it~ Is that what made this stuff glow? Neat!
"Oh, yeah, I think I remember reading about that somewhere... the reactor's safety manual! Strontium 90 was one of the possible isotopes released in case of reactor containment failure. Mostly harmless, outside your bladder glowing like a lightbulb if ingested in large quantity." The light smile I had on my face faded as I got a good look at both Jumper cables and Minty's expressions, the former wearing one fo shock and disbelief and the latter... "Hey, I thought you said you wouldn't gag! Like I said, it's harmless as long as you don't mind your pee glowing!"
"Evacuation of stomachs may be encouraged." With a moment's pause as Jumper Cables slid herself out of her chair, the pair of them were soon racing towards the exit door, Minty following close behind Jumper and leaving me standing alone in the large office. Sweetie Bot glanced at myself with a cock of her head, her eyes blinking. "Aren't you going to relieve your stomach of the isotope too?"
"Everypony's a critic..."
---
"You're evil sometimes, you- you know that?" After having recollected Minty and bidding Jumper Cabes farewell - at least it was nice to see her awake for once - we set off back towards Mooscow, the day having gone into late evening. My augmented friend found it necessary to lecture me about why he hated Sparkle-Cola, again, while finishing off his third bottle of Sunrise as we trotted along. He was on his seventh now. Slow down you soda hog, you're going to have more soda than stomach in you if you keep this up. "We are NOT telling Cross Stitch about any of that, alright? Far as he's concerned, we just-"
"We just went up to legally get Sweetie Bot, yeah, yeah, you've said it twenty times already." Responding with an eyeroll, the gates of Mooscow soon came into clear view, Bloodbeak amusing herself by walking along the top edge of the steel wall on her back legs. The gryphon glanced over at us, giving her wings a flap and landing on the other side of the wall, the doors opening with a creak a few moments later, permitting us inside. The gryphon rested against the outer wall of the shack, lazily holding her Tommy Gun and eyeing the robot filly that trotted between us both.
"So, we're not going to have any issues with that thing, right? I-... how much of that stuff have you drank already?" Bloodbeak caught herself mid-sentence as Minty cracked open another bottle of Sunrise Sarsaparilla and began gulping it down. Following her gaze, I was more than a little surprised myself - stomachs aren't usually supposed to be bloated like that, I mean, unless you're a pegasus who had a rubber plug stuck in your behind after a meal specifically designed to entice gas production... something which I wouldn't know anything about! Eheheh, ah, um... anyways. The gryphon stifled a snicker, watching Minty gulping down the eighth bottle, his suit visibly rounded and stretched by the sheer amount of soda in his stomach. "You look like a water balloon. Ease up on that stuff, sheesh!"
"It's been a long day. We'll, uh, we'll see you tomorrow, probably. C'mon, Minty, Cross Stitch probably wants to hear the good news, or, uh, something..." Chuckling weakly, I egged the drinking unicorn on, his hooves beginning to move along in the snow towards the cathedral and clothing shop. He had levitated out another bottle of Sunrise Sarsaparilla already, still gulping down the last one greedily as he walked along, a certain groaning coming from him through the glass bottle. Hey, he did this to himself... but that doesn't make it any more healthy. By the time we stepped up to the turnoff to the street, and Minty tapped into his ninth bottle, I'd noticed that we were light one pony - well, robotic filly - and turned myself around in time to see Sweetie Bot trotting happily up to us. Good, one less thing to worry about. Binge-drinking unicorns were enough...
"Bloodbeak is a very strange gryphon. She doesn't even keep her machine gun fully loaded." Just as I was about to ask the ferromagnetic filly just how she knew that, Minty dropped the bottle he was working on, falling against the window of the clothing shop and letting off a quite loud belch. His head slumped forwards, the royal blue unicorn inside rushing out with a concerned look on his face and glancing between us three. He let off a sigh as his eyes met the half-empty bottle laying in the snow, his aura encompassing Minty and levitating the unicorn into the shop, myself and Sweetie following behind.
"Let me guess, he ate something that really didn't agree with him. Again." Heading up the stairs, Cross set Minty down carefully inside their bedroom, leaving the door opened a crack. The look on his face seemed to be a mix of annoyance and disappointment, shaking his head side-to-side as he set himself down behind the counter and rubbed at his temples. "He did this all the time in the Stable. I'm just glad he never developed a taste for alcohol, or I'm sure he'd try drowning foul tastes out with that too. He'll be feeling it in the morning... what did you guys find, anyways?"
"Uh, well... Jumper Cables, the mare that got Sweetie Bot working in the first place, she had this special bottle of Sparkle-Cola she was saving for the sale of her hundredth robot... And..." I let off a weak chuckle, rubbing at the back of my head as Cross Stitch looked on in surprise. Had a feeling he probably wouldn't take this well... but how was I supposed to know Minty did this before!? "H-he seemed to enjoy it at first, though! He only had a small cup of the stuff. Kept it down just fine, until Jumper Cables asked about this one ingredient in it. Strontium 90... reactor byproduct. Made the soda glow." Gnawing at my lip, Cross Stitch's jaw fell open, the unicorn at a loss for words and simply stuttering for the moment. "I think he vomited most of the stuff out, though."
"Hold it. Back up. What in the name of the goddesses do you mean by 'reactor byproduct'?" The augmented unicorn leaned himself against the counter, looking at myself with concern in his eyes. Sweetie Bot had moved to examining some of the items of clothing on display in the shop, shuffling them around idly, Cross Stitch still trying to make sense of what'd happened. "You mean, like an arcane reactor? Like the one that's been blown open in Pripytrot?"
"Kind of... wait, what!? When'd that happen?!" A reactor disaster, yeah, that was probably a LOT more dangerous and worthy of note than Minty overindulging himself on soda. Pripytrot was close to Turnpike, too... oh, goddesses, please tell me that Featherweight and Buzzy are safe. A balefire bomb going off near the ground was one thing, since those aren't entirely meant to cause radiation. A reactor exploding, however, that was a whole different kind of bad news... "Oh, goddesses, Featherweight and Buzzy..."
"It's been all over the news since yesterday, Neighrer said that the cloud was supposed to be passing over Quebuck for the most part. Hasn't reached Mooscow yet, but I'm heading into that Stable everypony at the hospital's gone to when it does." Okay, Quebuck, so a few bears will be irradiated. That I can live with. That was more than a little relief... "I really just hope that that'll knock some sense into whoever's fighting out there that maybe they should cool it down. Swear that you can hear the war going on on cooler nights." The unicorn let off a sigh, looking over at a pile of fabric on a counter behind the main one. It looked like Minty's new jacket, but some sectons seemed a bit more rigid than it was before. Encompassing it in his magic, Cross levitated it over, holding it up. "After seeing how many ponies come in here asking for bullet hole repairs or some kind of armoring for their clothes, I figured that maybe I should try and focus on that. Still looks fashionable, right?"
"Uh... I guess so. You're asking the wrong pony about fashion." I let off a weak chuckle, Cross glancing over my old duster and bulletproof vest and giving a bemused grin in agreement. He set down the jacket, the sound of a certain unicorn letting off a belch and rushing over to a different room upstairs prompting a small grimace from him. "Ah... he going to be alright?"
"As long as he doesn't burst like a balloon, I think he'll be okay. I'm a bit more worried about my poor bathroom." Cross gave off a weak chuckle, followed by a sigh, leaning on the counter and resting his head against his hoof. Sweetie Bot trotted upstairs, both myself and Cross watching her as she went. "So, she still sticking around, then?"
"For a while, yeah. Until we find something to do with her... are you sure you don't want her to help protect your shop? She's great at waking ponies up." With a halfhearted chuckle, I watched as Cross returned a grin, shuffling out from behind the counter and heading over to a doorway.
"I'll get some dinner going. Don't think Minty would be much in the mood for food... I'll get you when it's ready." With a nod, I trotted up the stairs, following the small robotic filly inside the guest bedroom. My back practically sighed with relief as I set the saddle down, myself taking a few moments to stretch and relax, setting myself down on the bed and emptying my saddlebags out onto the floor. Yeah, that was a LOT of Sparkle-Cola... I should find a fridge for it. Time to organize...
---
"You're listening to CONELRAD, six-forty twelve-forty on your AM radio dial. I'm Bert the Turtle bidding you all out there in the frigid wasteland a very good night, and now I'd like to turn the program over to our very own Tom Neighrer, for Neighrer Nightly. But first, one last song from the Bert the Turtle collection, Vera Lynn going out to all those who have family in Pripytrot fighting for the rest of us, reminding us all that no matter what there's always going to be the chance that We'll Meet Again."
"Hey, Twintails?" A faint knocking came at my door as I rested in the bed, listening to the soft tune coming out of my Pip-Buck's speaker. Cross Stitch stepped inside the room, drawing my attention and prompting me to sit up on the soft cushions. The unicorn gave off a small smile, myself turning down the volume.
"Hey, Cross. Minty still recovering?"
"Yeah, he's getting a bit better. Just sleeping it off now. Hey, there was one thing that he mentioned to me the other night... I just wanted to make sure with you that I got everything right." His horn flared up as he looked behind himself to his back, standing in the doorway and levitating out a small plush figurine around the same size as Minty's own, lime-green mane done up in a small ponytail, and tail thinning and frayed. The plush unicorn's cool blue coat was covered from the waist up with a miniature Stable jacket, the number 34 sewn in gold on the back, the radioactive trefoil with the odd blue 'y' intersecting it prominently shown on her flank. It... it looked just like her...
Cross set the plush down in my hooves, my eyes starting to blur around the edges as I stared at the small plush figure. The unicorn opened up the door behind himself, passing on a small smile and trotting out afterwards. The door shut with a quiet click as I slid down in the bed, letting off a small whimper and cuddling the plush of Gamma Ray against my bare chest, feeling the stuffed cotton mane brushing against my chin and the little hooves spreading as if it were hugging me. The quieted radio sounded out clear in my ears as I layed down, Vera's voice still singing out.
"So will you please say hello,
to the folks that I know, tell them,
'I won't be long'.
They'll be happy to know, that
as you saw me go,
I was sing-ing this song,
We'll meet again,
don't know where,
don't know when!
But I know we'll meet again, some sun-ny, day!"
We'll meet again, Gamma. Some sunny day...