//------------------------------// // Flashing and Crashing // Story: My Little Background Pony: Party Hardly // by comicfan616 //------------------------------// My Little Background Pony Party Hardly “So, Turner, I have a quick question,” Derpy said. She and Time Turner were inside the TARDIS. He was currently under the console, his hind legs sticking outward. “What’s on your mind, Derpy?” he asked. He held a foreleg out towards her. “Hand me the spanner, would you?” Derpy grabbed a tool off the console and gave it to him. “I’ve been wondering for a while; why does the TARDIS look like it does?” Turner didn’t answer right away, instead giving back the tool she gave him. “That’s a wrench, Derpy. The spanner’s the one that looks like a hook.” Derpy chuckled sheepishly and took the wrench. “What do you mean?” “You said when you first came here that you wanted to keep a low profile,” Derpy explained. She replaced the wrench and took what she hoped was the spanner. “But, a large blue box with the words ‘Police Public Call Box’ doesn’t exactly scream ‘perfect hiding spot.’” “Blame that on the chameleon circuit,” Turner replied. Derpy put the spanner into his hoof. “Ah, that’s better.” “The what?” “Chameleon circuit,” Turner said as he continued working. “Normally, on a properly functioning TARDIS, it allows the ship to disguise itself to fit in with the area and time period. Very useful for getting around with as little attention as possible. But… it’s not working properly. Like everything else here,” he added with an irritated sigh. “Did the Time Lords break that, too?” Derpy asked. Turner did say that his superiors disabled almost every function within the TARDIS. “Even if they could have, I doubt they would,” Turner said. “Despite Celestia’s intentions, the High Council wanted to break me utterly. They already took away my friends…” He paused at the memory. “Oh, um,” Derpy stuttered, “do you want to change the subject?” “No, no, I’ll be fine,” Turner said. “The sooner I get over that memory, the better I’ll feel in the long run. Anyway, they all wanted my exile to completely break me to the point of giving up my life entirely. Keeping the TARDIS’ chameleon circuit on would have been the final straw, with no way for anypony to see it for what it is, therefore giving me no temptation to get back to my ‘gallivanting and horseplay.’ In a way, I’m glad you found the TARDIS; I was already going to find a way to fix her, regardless of what they wanted, but you all really inspired me to pull through in a way that I doubt I could have mustered on my own.” Derpy chuckled, her cheeks a little red. “Um, you’re welcome, I guess. But that still doesn’t explain why the TARDIS looks like a blue box.” “That happened a long time ago. At the time, I was in Equestria’s future. You see, in about 80 years from now, ponies will have perfected the technology to communicate across long distances instantaneously. The police box design comes from a similar structure that allows one to use this communication technology, usually for emergencies. Well, the TARDIS is a temperamental old gal, and she seemed to really like the look, I guess. That’s the only reason I can think of anyway, because when I first noticed it, I tried to ‘fix’ the chameleon circuit, except everything I tried only made it worse. She’s been that way ever since.” Turner waited for an answer. When all he got was silence, he pushed himself out of the console and looked at Derpy. There was a glazed look on her face, like she was stunned speechless. “Um, Derpy? You all right? Did I answer your question?” This seemed to snap her out of it. “Hm? Oh, yeah. Yeah, um, there’s this thing in the future that looks like the TARDIS and the TARDIS decided she liked it and it involves being able to talk to ponies far away from you. Um, right?” Turner paused for a few seconds. “Well, there was a bit more to it than that, but—!” “Yeah,” Derpy interrupted, “but everything else you said was just big words and a bunch of stuff I didn’t understand.” “Oh, come now, how are you supposed to learn if you won’t let me explain things properly?” “Considering your teaching and explaining is like expecting foals to know Shakespony, I’m happy being dumb.” There was a small silence before the two ponies snorted in laughter, giving way to chuckling. “And this is why I like spending time with you, Derpy,” Turner said. “You really know how to liven up a mundane repair job. Speaking of which, could you get me a hex key?” He went back down under the console and waited until he felt something in his hoof. He lifted it to the area he was working on, but stopped. “Derpy?” he said flatly. “Yeah?” “This is a TARDIS key.” My little pony, my little pony, Ah-ah-ah-ah-My little pony! I had forgotten what friendship could mean. Until you all reminded me: Time together, rockin’ beats, Sweet experience, soothing melodies, All for one. Such an easy feat! Now thanks to you, my life’s complete! Yeah, my little pony! You are truly all my very best frieeeeeeeeeends! Turner tightened the last screw and pushed himself from under the console. “There. That ought to do the trick.” “Is the TARDIS fixed now?” Derpy asked. Turner breathed out something between a laugh and a sigh. “Far from it, unfortunately. This is just the first milestone. All we’ve managed to do is hook the TARDIS’ main power systems to the mainframe.” “Um, what’s that supposed to mean?” “The TARDIS is a complex piece of machinery and requires a ridiculous amount of power to even function. So far, all I’ve got is the emergency power, but all that can do is turn the computers on. The TARDIS itself requires something bigger, something that even some of the most advanced technology wouldn’t be able to handle. And, assuming we’ve done everything right, the power conduits are now in a complete circuit with the TARDIS’ mainframe, and that should give us a better chance to get her back up to full TARDIS…ness.” Derpy just stared at Turner throughout his entire explanation. “Um, could you simplify that a little?” Turner sighed. “Basically, we can bring the TARDIS’ central systems online and that should make the repairs much easier.” “Oh, okay. Why didn’t you say that in the first place?” “I’m going to ignore that,” Turner mumbled. He and Derpy walked up to the console. Turner stood on his hind legs and leaned his front half against the central tower. “What happens now?” Derpy asked. Turner smiled. “Just watch, and be amazed.” He brought his hoof to one of the levers and pulled. Suddenly, the panel he was leaning on violently erupted a shower of sparks. He stepped back in surprise and to get away from the assault. But it didn’t stop there. Sparks were flying all throughout the console, and even some of the outer walls as well. A loud and discordant humming noise filled the room and everything began to shake. Derpy tried to keep a steady footing, but everything felt like a high-magnitude earthquake, all focused inside the TARDIS. She tried flapping her wings, but her balancing problems meant she couldn’t find a suitable position to take off from. That and the sparks raining down on her and Turner dissuaded her from trying to fly to safety. Turner stumbled over to the control panel and pressed almost every button he could, looking more frustrated as his frantic actions went unrewarded. After countless fruitful attempts, he ducked under the console. He crawled along the ground looking up at the undercarriage until he finally found what he wanted. He reached a hoof up and pulled at the large wire, disconnecting it from the machinery and electronics. Almost immediately, the shaking slowed down to a stop, and the explosions of electricity ceased; all was quiet once more. Derpy, who had crouched close to the ground, slowly stood up, waiting for anything else to happen. When nothing did, she finally stood up at full height. “Are we safe now?” Turner crawled out from under the console and sighed. “We should be. I’ve disconnected the main power circuit. I just don’t know what went wrong, though.” He looked over the central tower. “I’ll need a bit to figure out what happened.” “Oh, okay,” Derpy said. She could feel Turner’s disappointment that their “first milestone” had instead become a sudden roadblock. She knew that he would need some time alone to think things through. “I better get going,” she said. “Hope everything works out.” She turned to leave, looked back at Turner for a moment, and walked out of the TARDIS and towards the door out of his basement.