I follow Twilight downstairs to the palace’s underground chamber. I can hear music thumping louder with every step we take until we enter a small dance-room where the rest of the six throne-warmers and the baby dragon are all dancing to some music played by a white pony with blue hair and sunglasses at a DJ table. They all welcome me and try to dance with me, but it’s all so weird. The more they try to make me fit in, the more I feel like I don’t belong. A bunch of ponies are dancing all around me, and I’m just standing and sort of moving. I don’t want to look too uncomfortable, or they’d stop and talk to me. They mostly don’t notice. If I was at a human party, I’d assume the blue one, Rainbow; I’d think she was flirting with me.
The party drags on, and they’re all having fun. I walk away and grab some punch or whatever it is as often as I can without getting called out on it. I know Twilight sees that I’m not having fun, but she doesn’t bother me. Either she wants someone else to deal with it, or she’s just sick of me. Or both.
The more the party drags on, the more I wonder how I can get out. There’s nothing I can do though, so I just continue to move around. I start to watch them each, watching their expressions and movements. I don’t know why they’re partying, why they’re so happy. There’s nothing to celebrate at all, but they’re all so genuinely full of joy. It doesn’t make sense.
I lean on the punch table, starting to feel in my stomach that I drunk too much. I almost feel sick, but this is my only way away from the dance floor. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes. When I open, Fluttershy is standing right in front of me, scaring me so badly that I nearly throw up. I hold myself together. Clearly, I stood over here way too long.
Her mouth is moving. I swear she’s saying something. I can almost hear it, but I might just be imagining words for her.
“What? I can’t hear you!” I say, really not that loudly. The music is loud, but not concert-level.
She starts mouth-moving again. I wonder for a second if she’s messing with me, but I know this is just her. I heard she’s usually very shy. Go figure. It’s in her damn name. If I had been named Shy, I would have made it my goal to be the loudest damn kid in town. Everyone would have known my name, and I wouldn’t have to apologize for anything cause they’d know when you mess with Shy Tobin, he ain’t gonna shy away from knocking you back!
I nod toward the door, and she smiles back, nodding slightly. We walk out together, and the noise vanishes instantly.
“What’s up, Fluttershy?” I say. We keep sauntering slowly away from the party.
“Oh,” she mouses. “I’m very humbled that you would remember my name. Thank you.”
Something tells me she didn’t have much humbling to do. Whatever. “Of course I know it. We did lots of introductions before the party began. Twilight put together a stupid name game and everything.”
“Yes, she’s very thoughtful that way. Still, I didn’t think you’d pay attention to me, I guess.”
I ignore it. I don’t know what kind of person she thinks I am to ignore someone just because they seem weak. The fact that she expects that in people; it shows how messed up society can be. In her world and in mine.
“What do you wanna say to me?”
“Oh, yes, of course. I just wanted to know why you couldn’t seem to have any fun?”
I keep my eyes on the ground as we walk up the stairs. The party was drowned into silence a long time ago.
It’s weird. Fluttershy is different from anyone I’ve ever met. Usually, when you decide not to respond to a question, the other person just asks a new question that gets to the point another way or changes the subject. Fluttershy doesn’t say a word as long as I don’t. It’s kinda nice having that respect, I guess.
We make it outside into the cool night air. The breeze blows by ever so gently as if the leaves are waving it across our faces. The smell of the grass is wonderful. The darkness feels like a warm blanket rather than a warning to get indoors. I look up at the moon and wonder at how it can shine so brilliantly on its own, not needing magic or technology. The moon and the stars around it simply light the sky with their own incredible beauty like a calming smile from a mother for her child, telling him that everything is right with the world.
I look at Fluttershy. She smiles kindly at me, not feeling any rush or discontent. It’s a welcoming feeling.
We continue to walk down the path away from the palace, but the more I realise how considerate her patience is, the more I feel a need to respond. How can I answer that? I can’t just tell her that it’s because I don’t trust them yet. She wouldn’t understand that. I have to say something kinder. If I don’t, I don’t know what could happen to her. If I’m kind enough though, she’ll believe me.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t having fun, Fluttershy.” She seems happy that I said something. “It’s just hard for me. I’m making a big transition, and this place is different. It’s not you or anyone else. I guess it’s just me.” There. Some of that was true.
She waits a moment. Everything seems very relaxed with Fluttershy. It’s like I have more time in my life when she slows it down. She turns off the main road slightly, and I see a big tree/house in the distance. I’m guessing that’s hers.
“That’s understandable, Caleb. I don’t mind if you need some time, but I’m willing to help you feel more comfortable here. We all just want you to feel free to be our friend.”
Friend. They all want me to be their friend. I haven’t decided what I want yet though. My only decision was to leave a horrible place. Now though; now that I’ve found a very peaceful place, can I find myself able to believe it? I’m not sure that I can. I’m not sure that I can be at peace with a world so ignorant to suffering.
Maybe I need to calm down. There’s just so much happening right now, it’s hard for me to take in. I need to focus on what I can do now that I’m here. After all, Discord never said that I would be stuck here forever, so I don’t think he meant that. He seemed to want to tell me the truth, but I should know better than to ever trust anything that snake says. His promise is worth as much as a used toothbrush. That’s why I bought it though. I was desperate. I couldn’t afford to wait for something better, and he played on that. He preyed on my weakness. Maybe he left it up to me, but he knew that I couldn’t say no.
I’m starting to think that’s what everyone here is really like. Sure they want me to be their friend, but why do they want that? Until I can find a real reason for them to want to be friends with me, I won’t believe them. I don’t have anything to offer. I’m a selfish, dishonest, angry man. If I had stayed where I was, I would have been on the street in just a couple months. I would eventually have had no choice but to turn to a life of drugs, selling and using. I resisted so long only because I had that hope that someone would save me from that hell. I never thought it would be a reformed devil who would save me. But who am I to–
“Eh hem,” I hear. I look over. Fluttershy is sitting across from me on a raised cushion. She balances a cup of tea very gently between her hooves as she takes a sip. She nods to the table beside me. “Your tea will get cold if you don’t drink it.”
There’s tea on the table next to me. I look at it. I pick it up and take a sip. I put it down. The chair I’m in is red and leather-feeling. I have no idea if it’s real leather, but I somehow doubt that it is given the circumstances. The rest of the room has a very classic feel to it, like a Victorian-era small home combined with a modern cabin. It’s interesting. I guess it really feels comfortable if I was to describe it.
“Th-thank you,” I say. I don’t remember coming inside. I hear some light movement coming out of the kitchen, so I assume it’s some of her animals. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I haven’t said much, Caleb,” she says. I take another sip of tea. “I just wanted to know what I can do to be kinder to you. I know that not everyone responds to kindness in the same way. Some people like the ‘tough-love’ sort of kindness, and I’m not great at that, but I’m willing to give it all I have if it would make you feel better about yourself.”
I don’t understand. I keep staring at her. I look down at the tea and see my own reflection very faintly in the brown liquid as it stills. I pull it up and take another sip. It’s very tasty; not too sweet, but it doesn’t taste bitter either. I’ve never tasted anything like it.
I look up at her. She’s still waiting for an answer. I should hurry. I don’t know how long I made her wait when she asked the first time. “You don’t have to change for me. Just do what you want. I–”
I stop. I don’t know why. I just don’t know what else to say. I guess I don’t have anything else to say about it. I smile at her. She smiles so genuinely back that it gives me those weird goosebumps that Twilight gave me. I take a long sip from the tea, looking down at it to stop myself from blushing. I don’t understand how they can make me feel so strange.
“I’m sorry,” she says after a little. “I guess it’s too soon for you to decide. You hardly know us after all. I shouldn’t assume so quickly, but I really do want you to feel welcome here. I was so sorry to hear about your experiences in your home, and I want you to know that you can always have a home with me.”
“And me of course.” The fluttering in my stomach burns up in an instant with distrust. “You do belong to me after all.”
I turn and look at the kitchen as Discord walks out of it, drying his hands on a bleach white towel before tossing it into a laundry basket across the room as a few sparkles erupt from it. A white bunny crawls out of the basket and shakes its fist at Discord.
He continues to walk closer before he pops down into a recliner as it bursts into existence. He crosses his legs and sips honey from an active, yet calm beehive at his side-table. The honey and table vanish as quickly as they appeared, but a single bee continues to float around. It dives into a cup of tea, then pulls a very long straw out of it to Discord’s mouth. He sips. The bee flies out the window and morphs into a car with several mechanical, scifi movements before driving away off Fluttershy's pathway.
I look back at Discord and close my mouth. Fluttershy didn't watch that happen at all. I'm assuming it's because she either expects him to do weird things and isn't surprised anymore or because she just doesn't want to see him doing anything to animals. I guess there's still the possibility that she's just dumb. Maybe that old, crazy hobo on the corner of my street was right when he said, "kindness begets stupidity."
"What's the matter, Caleb?" Discord asks me. There's something about his voice that makes me so angry. It's not even what he says. It's just that patronizing, insulting tone. If he spoke like that on the streets, he'd get shot and everyone would think he asked for it.
But this isn't the streets. I'm playing by his rules; and by pony rules. "I'm fine. Just a little tired." I try not to let any emotion out when I say it. I'm not sure I could fake happiness, so emotionless is the best I can do.
"That's fair," he says, taking another sip. I notice that part of the chair is gone all of a sudden. "You've had a very eventful day after all; it's only natural that you would feel absolutely tuckered out."
"So are we sleeping here?" I ask.
"Oh, yes!" he replies emphatically. "Ms. Fluttershy was so gracious as to offer us her home for the evening!"
"Yes," Fluttershy says with a nod and a smile. "You're more than welcome to stay here. Discord is my friend, and if you're his friend, then you're mine as well."
That's strange. I thought she'd say pet. No one has called me Discord's friend since I arrived in Equestria, especially not me. I smile anyways. It’s hard to be mean to Fluttershy, I guess.
“Aren’t you glad we’re friends, Caleb?” Discord chimes in.
I give him as subtle a sneer as I can as he takes another sip of his tea while more of his chair vanishes slowly. When I look down, the bunny’s giving a much less subtle sneer. If it had five fingers, I think it would be flipping him off. It’s not nearly as hard to be mean to Discord. That’s a damn fact.
I sigh and start to stand.
“Oh, where are you going?” Discord asks.
“To bed,” I say, trying to keep my voice nice and clear. “I’m tired, and it’s late enough.”
“Actually, if you don’t mind, we’d like for you to stay just a little bit longer,” Fluttershy says. Keeping me in the same room as Discord is not the best way to make me a friend, girl.
“Yes, very sorry, Caleb,” Discord says. His chair starts to shrink very slightly. “We do have a few tiny things to discuss with you.” The chair bursts open, and he looks around as if he’s surprised by it. Why would he be surprised by his own magic? He’s such an idiot.
I don’t sit back down. I stand in front of the chair and cross my arms, barely resisting to tap my foot. I look straight into the snake’s eyes.“What do you want?”
Discord’s little fang curls itself into a tiny smile across his lips as he starts to pace in between Fluttershy and me. “Try not to get testy now, my boy. We’re on your side after all.”
I’m sorry. What was that?
“I said, ‘we’re on your side.’”
I heard you. That was sarc– Wait. No.
“Yes, I can read your mind, Caleb.” His words echo around my skull. This is impossible. “How else would I have chosen the perfect human to want to leave Earth if I couldn’t read their minds?”
I don’t know what to do. If I can’t even keep my own thoughts private, then what can I do? “How can you do that? Isn’t that illegal here or something?”
“I’m afraid I can’t defend you from that, Caleb,” Fluttershy says. “Discord’s argument for choosing a suitable human without revealing himself to too many humans made sense to me even if I didn’t like it earlier. I want to respect your rights, but I’m afraid it’s perfectly legal for an owner to read their pet’s mind if they have the magic to do so. It’s sometimes necessary for treating problematic pets.”
“But I’m not problematic,” I say desperately. There has to be a way out of this. I can’t let him in my mind like that.
“You’re more of an issue than others are able to understand,” Discord says. Reading glasses appear on his eyes, and a huge book with the title Things Humans Say appears in his hands as he starts to flip through it. “What is it that humans say? Ah, yes. You can take the dog out of the fight, but you can’t take the fight out of the dog. My dear friend, you have much desire to fight. From the little that I have used this power on you, I have seen an enormous quantity of hate within you.”
I narrow my eyes at him and sit in the chair. I won’t look at Fluttershy. Even for being so kind, if she feels that way about me, then I see no reason to feel any way about her. “Fine then. What do you want?”
Fluttershy speaks up. “We want to know what’s causing all this hate, Caleb. We want to help you, and we don’t want to make a big scene about it. We so want you to feel comfortable in Equestria. This is your home too, and you should feel welcome here.”
I stop myself from sneering at her by forcing myself to look straight into Discord’s red and yellow, snake or devil-like eyes. I guess he notices me staring because his eyes immediately pop out and land on my head.
“Isn’t it rude to keep your eyes on someone, Caleb?” Discord asks calmly, looking extra creepy without eyes in his black sockets. I keep staring at him, and his eyes sockets start to ooze gummy worms and green Jell-O.
I give up and look at the ground, letting out a sigh. I know I can’t win. I’m against the animal-lover who doesn’t care about me and my ‘owner’ who thinks he knows what’s best for me when he’s violating me by invading my mind. I can’t even look at the ground though because just as the weight of his eyes on my head disappears, the disappointment of seeing them materialize in the floorboards sets in. He slithers his way out of the ground and wraps an arm around me. Fluttershy walks up as they both stand by my side, locking me between their fake-caring attitudes.
“Please tell us, Caleb,” she says. Her voice is angelic and kind, but I can’t trust that kindness. A kind person would respect freedom. Not only am I the thing’s pet, but I can’t even have my own thoughts to myself. She’s just as bad as he is.
“Right now, the only thing making me hate is you two,” I snap and push them off me. I walk as fast as I can out of the house, only to find myself entering another room. I’m sure this is where I entered the house. It’s the only big two-part door in the room. I turn around. They’re both watching me with those fake-sad faces.
“If you must leave the room,” Discord says, “then you may go to your bedroom for the night. I can’t allow you to leave the house.”
“That’s right. You could get hurt or lost after all,” Fluttershy says in agreement, giving another ridiculous smile.
I just look at them. Even now, they act as if they’re sad or something that I’m leaving them. Sad that I hate them. They’re just taking advantage of me.
“I promise that I will respect your privacy tonight,” he says. “I will not read your mind as long as you are in your room. That will be your private space whenever you feel a need to be alone. That’s the truth.”
“Yeah, right,” I say and slam the door shut. I lock it behind me and walk over to the bed in the dark room. I sit down and shake my head. That’s the truth, huh? The truth and what you say are as different as your right arm from your left, Discord.
I fall back on the bed, kicking my shoes off. I don’t bother with the rest. I don’t bother getting comfortable. I just stare at the ceiling for a little. It’s stupid that they can control me like this. There’s nothing I can do but go along with whatever anyone says. Before, I was poor. Now, I’m a slave.
I wrap the blankets around me and curl up with my head on the pillow. I try not to think about any of it. All I can see are Discord’s eyes; Fluttershy’s eyes; Twilight’s eyes. They all seemed so genuine earlier. Now, I can’t trust anyone. It’s just like before. Everyone else may be happier in this place, but I guess I won’t be happy no matter where I go.