Sarcasm and Pessimism
Chapter 6
An Odd Dream
"Why subconscious, just why?" I find myself on the main floor of Twilight's library, but there’s one itty-bitty problem. I'm only about a couple inches tall. "Okay, this is obviously a dream. Worse, it's one of those dreams. Just grand." I start to wander through the newly towering and actually oddly accurate depiction of the library. As I ponder at this, I walk over to one of the tables and flick the nearest leg. That's when I discover another problem with the dream.
"Oh great, not only can I control my actions in this dream - thank goodness for that - but it's one of those dreams where you'd almost swear it's real because you can feel along with sight and sound. Brain you are evil. I hate you." I continue my minute tour of the first floor, and finally find evidence that this is in fact a dream, which is assurance that I was beginning to really need.
Unlike most of the library, which is well-defined and accurate to a T, the undersides of the bookcases are rather undefined. I’m able to see underneath about an inch or two before a thick grey fog blocks my view. Another assurance was that, besides the few books I had seen, the other books in the library were replaced with books from my world, such as Eragon or Webster's Dictionary or Garfield comics.
"Welp, time to end this dream and try for a different one." I slam my fist into a wall, only to receive the pain I'd expect from punching wood, with no end to the dream. "Oh crap, it’s one of those dreams, too!” I decide to make myself scarce before the dream can get any worse. I take off at a sprint, heading to the safety underneath a bookcase, only to find that the thick fog also acted as a barrier. "Video Game physics! No! Why am I not able to have an inner monologue?!” I take a deep breath. “Okay, calm down. Yelling like crazy will only attract unwanted attention. Time to find somewhere else to hide."
Turning away from the fog, I’m immediately greeted by two extremely large purple eyes, staring down at me with extreme curiosity. I press myself against the fog barrier as much as possible, but to no avail. The aura of her purple magic surrounds me and levitates me out to eye level.
"Hmm, what is this thing?" After she calls me that, she turns and starts walking - just a casual movement for her, but to me it’s worse than anything a rollercoaster could attempt to pull off. My ride ends with me being put on the floor, and Twilight sitting down. Looking around I notice we aren't alone. It seems to be part two of last night’s slumber party, now featuring a tiny human.
"Hey everypony, look what I just found by one of the bookcases!”
"Oh what is it?! Does it like cookies?! No wait, do you think it likes cake?!?!" No, no! Keep the cake away from me! The cake is a lie!
"I ain’t never seen a bug like that before."
"Icky! Keep it away from me!"
"It would be about 20% cooler if it could fly."
"Ahh, look at the precious little thing. Hello, there."
Brain, you've gone from evil to absolutely diabolical.
As I watch the gargantuan ponies all start talking about "this tiny new creature", Luna's horn lights up and I’m grasped by her aura. Oh, not this again! She gently sets me down on her muzzle, the aura around me dissipating, though her horn is still lit up. The color in my face drains faster than water in a kitchen sink. I'm doomed.
Then the rest of the dream vanishes, changing to a different landscape entirely. This one I haven't seen before; it’s a room with large stone walls, crescent moon banners, a desk with some quills and ink, some packed bookcases, a lit fireplace, and lastly a large bed on which Luna is positioned.
Oh, this can't be good. This dream's going into its final stage, isn't it? Sweat starts to bead up on my forehead. I keep my focus on Luna, quivering in fear at what might be going through my subconscious, particularly since this dream had decided to go on the full five sense tour. Luna's huge eyes gaze at my tiny dream form. Seriously, can't I be dreaming about Mass Effect, Gundam Wing, or something that isn't this? As her gaze continues I decide to just sit down. Whatever’s going to happen will take a while, from the looks of it. As I sit, she keeps her curious look.
Luna clears her throat, which startles me especially since I’m still on top of her muzzle. Oh no! Is it about to start? She lets out a giggle that shakes me slightly.
"Well, little Jacob, you really don't have to worry anymore. Your dream is over." As she speaks I brace myself against the earthquake of her moving mouth.
"Why don't I have to worry anymore exactly? The only real change is the amount of ponies and the scenery. Otherwise, this is still a dream - one that I'm still worried may continue to get worse in these circumstances."
"You don't have to worry any longer because you are no longer actually in your dream. I have brought you to mine. I, being the Princess of the Night look after all of my subjects during their dreams, just as Celestia looks after them while they’re awake."
"Then why am I still tiny?!" She only stares at me, strangely. Then I realize that she’s got a smug look on her face. I roll my eyes and stare back at her. "This is revenge for ‘Jurassic Park’, isn't it?"
Her eyes close completely and her head tilts a little further toward the ceiling, causing me to clutch onto her fur. She hums a prideful affirmative. Afterward, she repositions so I don't need to hold on to her. I look off to the side and twiddle my thumbs. "So, you know about my, uh-" She interrupts with another hum of affirmation. "Do you know about the other-" She hums again. "Two things. Firstly, thank you for preventing this dream from being like my others. I really didn’t want to involve any ponies in any of that.” I can see Luna’s cheeks blush. “Secondly, how did you find out about my other dreams?"
She relaxes and giggles again. “I wouldn't thank me yet, Jacob. My vengeance still has not been fully exacted!” Oh, well isn’t that nice. “But as for your question, in order to aid with a pony’s nightmare, I have to see why they are having it. This often means that I have to look through their memories. These...feelings of yours were actually difficult to find the root of. Your mind is so different from those of my subjects that it was much harder to get in, let alone glean that information. But don't worry, I only obtained the information I needed. Your memories are still private."
"So, if my mind was 'blocking you' then how are we-"
"I'm not exactly sure, maybe your subconscious was able to discern my entering your dream as an attempt to aid and allowed me through. Just so you know, I will be entering your dreams as often as I can partially to keep in touch and partially to get used to the subtle differences between your mind and a pony's."
I let out an exasperated breath. "I thought you were respecting the privacy of my memories.” She just shrugs. “Great, so I can look forward to similar visits then?" My eyes were half-lidded in annoyance.
"Don't worry, I promise you won't be in this position every time."
I groan. Our conversation continues on for a while before she leaves to see to other dreams. She allows me to go into a much more peaceful dream until the morning, but only after gaining the rest of her vengeance, much to my dismay.
"I never want to see that again..."