In which our demoralized duo deigns to delve into a dark, dusty dungeon, filled with dangerous-looking doors that display dark, undiscovered secrets.

With Pinkie preoccupied with finding a name for her new companion, Rarity decided to take stock of their supplies. Sifting through her makeshift saddlebags, she discovered that the bottle had survived the encounter relatively intact. Relative to the brownie, that is, which was squashed flat in the cloth she had wrapped it in, and broken into tiny chunks. Her cricket bat was still very much in one piece, though it did sport one new scuff mark on its battered length. All of her newly-woven pouches, and her cloak, had come through unscathed, a thought that brought a satisfied smile to her face. No needle, no workshop, and nothing but a tattered old tentcloth to work with. She thought with pride, daintily repacking the bat and makeshift canteen, And my ensemble can still weather an attack from a monstrous beast.

"Awww, is that my brownie?" Pinkie asked, leaning over Rarity's shoulder to see what she was doing.

"I'm afraid so, Pinkie. I do hope we get out of this soon, if this is the state of our food supplies."

"Ooh! The adventure's not over yet! Let's get going!" Pinkie said, happily bounding over to the opposite door. "Come on, Stephen!"

"Right," Said Rarity, "We should get a move on. How many more doors can there really be in this place?" She paced over to the door, tried jimmying the handle. "Locked. Of course it's locked."

"Maybe there's a secret booby-trap on it!" Pinkie shouted excitedly as she zipped over and started examining the edges of the door. "Nothing on top, nothing on the right, nothing on the left, aaaaand-" Rarity had to step aside as the pink blur moved it's head all around the edges of the frame. "There! There's something on the bottom."

Rarity peered under the door herself, through a surprisingly sizable slit. "Oh, Pinkie, that's just a simple floor latch." She lit her horn, and levitated the latch out of it's slot in the floor. The door promptly swung open, without the handle being turned. "Well, that was much easier. It looks like we're finally getting a break."

As the door opened further, a surprising amount of natural light filtered in through it. Stepping out into the next chamber, Rarity got a good look at the reason why. The room beyond was a hallway, stretching far to the left and right. hundreds of small holes in the ceiling were letting in a good amount of sunlight, illuminating the entire passage. To Rarity's dismay, there seemed to be no obvious entrance or exit, just dozens of unmarked doors.

"Hey, remember that question about the doors?" Pinkie asked, unfazed. "I think you just got your answer. A whole lot!"

Rarity groaned, and looked around, considering her options. Every door appeared to be identical, with an even three-length spacing between them. The doors appeared to be simple affairs, if a little old, constructed of sturdy oak wood, with strong bronze handles.A SMALL bit of signage would be appreciated. She thought, before catching something out of the corner of her eye. She turned around, and saw that the space around the door behind her was covered in warning signs, etched into the stone of the wall. KEEP OUT!, DANGEROUS MONSTER INSIDE, and THIS DOOR IS LOCKED FOR A REASON were just a few examples, along with a crude sketch of a pony next to a huge crab with evil eyes and exaggerated fangs.

"Hey, look, Rarity!" Pinkie said, spotting the carvings herself. "The door says, 'If you go in here, a giant crab will grab you and eat you alive. I'm serious. If that jerk Butterscotch doesn't believe me, he can go in there himself and see'. Hm." She peered quizzically at the message. "Well, that's really specific. Aren't creepy old dungeons like this always mysterious and stuff?"

"Well, duh! It's a scary, dark, old tunnel with a bunch of rooms! These kinds of places are always dungeons!"

Pinkie shrugged. "Who knows? What's important is that we get to explore iiit!" She yelled as she wrenched open another door and leapt through, closely followed by her bat.

She leapt out just as fast, before Rarity had even reached the doorframe. "Rarity!" She cried, grabbing her friend and pulling her through the door, "I know what this place is! It's not a Dungeon! Look!"

Rarity did look, and what she saw was- "EEEEEEEEEEEEK! SKELETON!" Lying sprawled on the stone floor, in a corner of the room lit by a small aperture in the ceiling, was a pony skeleton, bedecked in a cloak and saddlebags not unlike their own.

Pinkie rolled her eyes, completely unfazed by the sight. "No, not that, silly." She hopped over to the skeleton, and held up a circular golden badge pinned to the cloak. Engraved on the side was a birthday cake, complete with candles, with a question mark written on it. Around the bottom of the badge, a message read, 'Quam bene potes coquere?' Pinkie grinned with delight. "See, Rarity? He's a Seeker." She said, pulling the badge off from the cloak.

"Pinkie?" Rarity asked, while nervously grinding her hoof into the floor. "Would you kindly stop desecrating somepony's remains?", She hissed through clenched teeth.

"Oh, Rarity, I'm not decorating them. He'd want me to take it," Pinkie replied cheerily. Seeing her friend's uncomprehending look, she continued, "Why don't we step out into the hall so I can explain? You don't seem too comfortable in here."

As they stepped into the hall again, Pinkie took on a serious demeanor. Her smile evaporated, and she stopped bouncing, reverting to a slow, springy walk. Her eyes retained a cheerful glint, but then, she was Pinkie Pie. "Rarity." She asked, stopping her with a hoof to the shoulder, "Have you ever heard of...The Cake of the Culinant?"

"Oh, come on! It's one of the most famous ancient artifacts in the world!" Pinkie cried, waving her hooves above her head in bewilderment, "Do you even know who 'The Culinant' is?!"

"Oh, um," Rarity responded, still not understanding what was making Pinkie so excited. "That's a 'who'?"

"Yeah! He was the most amazingfantasterrific cook the world has ever known! He cooked, he baked, he grilled, he brewed, he bartended, he catered, hetriedopeninghisownresterauntbutitburneddowninagreasefire!" Pinkie paused to take a breath, continuing, "But the thing he did best, what he was most known for, was his splendiferously good cake!"

"Why have I never heard of him, and what does this have to do with that medallion?"

"I don't know, and it has everything to do with it. When he died, twelve medallions were given out to the best culinary minds in the land. They, and only they, were allowed to search for his tomb, where he had locked away the secret recipe for his cake. For four hundred years, these medallions have been passed down from chef to chef, baker to baker, frycook to frycook, until eventually, most of them disappeared. Now, only two remain," She held up the medallion reverently, "And one of them just got passed on to me."

"Sooo, that...pony, was in here, searching for a lost cake recipe, and carrying that..." Rarity smiled as she put two and two together, "This is his tomb, isn't it?"

Rarity frowned and narrowed her eyes. "No," She said firmly, "I know what you're thinking. And the answer is no. We are not going on a treasure hunt. We are going home."

"NO! Pinkie, we have no food, no water, and we are still miles away from any hint of civilization! We have to get out of here!"

"Alright," Pinkie grinned, "Fine. If ya wanna go home so bad, which way is the exit?" She swept a hoof over the hall, indicating that Rarity choose a direction.

Rarity looked around, and saw only the one hallway, with it's dozens of doors, which led to Celestia-knows-where. She knew that Pinkie's logic had defeated her. She had no idea where to go. With a sigh, she turned back to her friend, who stood with a smug grin on her face. "Fine. We will explore this place as long as we must. But if we do find an exit first, we're going to take it. I have no desire to stay here overnight."

Pinkie leapt up excitedly, shouting, "YAAAAAY! Let's open some doors and get lost in a creepy old tomb! Come on, Chompy!" The bat hissed as she bounded up to a door, wrenched it open, stuck her her head inside for a few seconds, proclaimed "Nope!", and moved on to the next one, repeating the process.

Rarity sighed and slumped her shoulders dejectedly. Well, she thought, I suppose I should assist her with that. So she trotted over to the nearest door on the opposite wall, and pulled it open with her magic, resigned to the mindless, repetitive work to follow.

* * *

Number forty-seven, here I go. I wonder if Pinkie is having better luck at the other end of the hall. Rarity thought as she wrenched open yet another door. This time, however, she was rewarded with a different sight on the inside. Oh, good, another door. Well, I suppose it is something new... "Pinkie!" She called down the hallway.

Rarity beckoned her through the doorway with a hoof. "Yes. It's not terribly exciting, but it is better than an empty room."

"Ooooh!" Pinkie cooed as she hopped into the new room, "Another door! But this one's got a silver handle! D'ya think that means something special? I wonder what's behind it. Maybe this is the way out! Or, even better, what if it's the way deeper in! Maybe it's booby-trapped! Maybe there's another monster behind it and they didn't bother to mention it! Maybe-Whoah!" She cried out as Rarity's magic wrenched the door open in front of her. Unfazed by Rarity's annoyed expression, she leapt through the door, saying, "Okay, I guess we're opening it right up! Let's see-Aww, I thought it would be something exciting."

As Rarity strode through herself, she saw that behind the door...was another hallway. Exactly like the first one. Except that all the doors had silver handles. This cannot be happening, Rarity thought, as her left eye began to involuntarily twitch.

"Well, it could be worse," Said Pinkie, "At least we know all the doors on this side lead nowhere, so we only have to check one side now. Unless we're going backwards now; we could actually be headed for the exit." She shrugged, and skipped over to the other side of the hall. "Oh well, guess we'll just have to see for ourselves!"

She reached for the door in front of her, but before she touched it, it was opened from the other side rather abruptly. The pony who had opened it stared at the duo, shock and confusion showing on his face. He was wearing a toolbelt, stuffed with climbing and mining implements, a brown vest, and a hard hat. Though he was accompanied by three other ponies, he stood out, as with his yellow-orange fur, and short-cropped brown mane, he looked rather reminiscent of

"Donut Joe!" Pinkie and Rarity cried out in unison. Rarity continued, rather tactfully, "How did you-uh, I mean, where did you-um...What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," He replied, "How'd the two of you get this deep in, and why are ya headin' back to the surface?" Narrowing his eyes, he continued, "Waaait, I know you. You're that baker from Ponyville, uh, Pinkie Fly?"

"Yup, I sure am!" Pinkie exclaimed, holding out her newly-acquired medallion, "I just inherited this!"

"Well, then," Joe replied, turning to the ponies behind him, "I can't let ya beat me to the cake. Get her!"

One pony, an earth pony mare, drew a knife from a hidden scabbard, while a pegasus took to the air, and raced towards the pair. A unicorn in back lit his horn, advancing. Donut Joe smiled evilly, pulling an identical medallion from within his vest.

"Oh no." Said Rarity, as her eyes shrank to pinpricks. Grabbing her friend's hoof, she cried, "Pinkie, run!"

Getting Their Just Desert

by dancing mop

The Third Chapter