//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: Cruel to be kind. // Story: Big Sis Scootaloo // by Never2muchpinkie //------------------------------// School was just terrible. I was half-asleep as I went through classes. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were concerned for me. They could tell something was wrong. I tried to play it off and avoided telling them the truth. I don’t really know why, but I just felt like Rainbow Dash was the only one who could help me find out what was going on with me. She had always had the answers before about how to be strong and brave. After school I was so relieved. I had slept through my lunch period, thankfully nightmare free, and so I was starving. I raced home as fast as I could. When I got in the kitchen I gave mom a quick hello before going into the cabinets and stuffing whatever I could find in my mouth. After I had gotten some food in my belly I felt a little better. I wanted to leave to visit Rainbow Dash right away, but I figured it would be kinda rude to Rose. “Hey, Mom, is Rose home yet?” “She’s in her room. She’s been waiting for you. She brought a friend along with her.” A smile came to my face despite myself. She had a friend already. I headed to her room, hearing laughter and talking. “Hi there, Rosie! How was school?” Rose looked ecstatic as she raced over to me, nearly knocking me down as she hugged me. “Hi, Scootieloo! This is my new friend Rock Climber.” She pointed to a colt sitting on her bed. “He likes to ride scooters too. See? I really did get a scooter buddy.” “I’m happy for you, Rosie. Nice to meet you, Rock Climber.” “Nice to meet you too,” he said, hopping off the bed. “Is it really true that you beat up a dragon?” I let out a small laugh. “Rose, what are you telling kids about me?” “I didn’t say that, exactly,” Rose said back. “I fought a dragon who was bent on destroying Ponyville because someone had taken its egg. But when I say fight, I don’t really mean that I was trying to fight. I was only trying to distract it long enough for the town to be evacuated so that no one would get hurt if it did make it to town.” “Still, that’s a really brave thing to do,” said Rock Climber. “She told me you got hurt really bad.” “Oh, yeah. It took me over a year to get back to top shape. I had to stay still so I could recover, and since it took a while I lost almost all my muscle and skills and had to relearn almost everything.” Rosie spoke up again. “Rock Climber’s brother likes to ride scooters too, but he’s been too busy lately to teach him, so I was hoping Rock Climber could join us for our lessons, since you’re so good at it and all.” “I wouldn’t have a problem with that, but I’d have to get his parent’s permission first. And today isn’t the day for it, Rose. I’m still kinda tired and I need to see Rainbow Dash. I just wanted to see how school was.” “I understand,” she responded. “School was great! Miss Cheerilee is a great teacher.” “I’m glad you had a good time.” I gave her a hug. “I have to go now, Rosie. But maybe tomorrow we can begin our team lessons.” “Okay.” Grabbing a few snacks I left the house, trying to replenish my strength along the way as I flew up to Rainbow’s house. I searched around for her, finding her in her room reading a Daring Do book. “Hi, Rainbow Dash.” She lowered it a little, saying, “Hey there, kid. What’s up?” “I need to talk with you. I’ve been having a problem I think only you can help me with. Can we go for a fly?” She placed a bookmark in the page, and then stood up, a concerned look on her face. “Sure, kid.” Heading outside we began flying. It was quiet for a few minutes, Rainbow not pressuring me to start. Finally, I told her what had been troubling me the past week. I told her everything, of giving away my old scooter and the feelings it had brought about, of the nightmares I had been going through, and my uncertainty of what to do. When I was done silence once again reigned. This time I was the one who didn’t intrude on the quiet, just waiting for her to respond. When she finally spoke her words were said like a joke. “Well, Scootaloo, I think it’s obvious what the problem is.” “And what’s that?” “Well, you’ve turned from the toughest around into a big, fat coward!” My face grew hot and my body tensed. I started falling down as I stopped flapping until I pulled myself back up to her level. “Excuse me?” Still with that mocking tone she said, “What? Don’t tell me you were expecting me to give you the answer everyone else would give? You know me better than that. I’m not gonna give you the 'Oh, poor baby' routine. You’ve lost sight of yourself again, just like before our race. You don’t want to face your real problem, so now you’re suffering for it.” I growled softly, rage slowly building up inside me. I was tired and out of it. No, I hadn’t expecting an overly pity-filled response, but the way she seemed to be ridiculing me was making me angry. “Why do you say that?” Speeding up from my anger she kept pace with me. “It’s simple. You don’t trust your sister at all to be able to take care of herself. You’re trying to force her into a tiny box where she will be 'safe and secure,' and thus you’re trying to stunt her growth. That’s a pretty horrible example to send as a big sister.” I saw red as I rammed into her. She fell down a short way before coming back up to my level. I had hoped that she would lose her grin, but her smirk was only bigger now. “Well, given how quickly you attacked me it means you’re defensive about it. And if you’re defensive then it means you think it’s true.” “Shut up! How dare you criticize me? What do you know about how I care for my sister?” “Only what you tell me, and it’s obvious from your words. You took after me when you were younger, and so I’m sure Rose is following the pattern by trying to be like you. Because you’re afraid that she’ll get hurt badly if you start training her to do things like you do you seek to minimize her skill and just take things easy. Instead of letting her jump hills and do spins you want her to just drive around on a flat surface… because it’ll make you feel better. That just shows how little faith you have in your sister.” Looking a little more serious she continued, “I had great faith in you, Scootaloo. That’s why I took you under my wing. That’s why I pushed you to your utmost limits constantly and never took it easy on you. I knew you had the skill within you. I just had to bring it out so that you could see yourself as I saw you. I respected you enough to push you as hard as I could so that way you could give full flower to your skills and bloom into your best self. Because of that you were able to save a baby; you were able to distract a dragon; you were able to beat me in a race. Do you think I did you wrong, Scootaloo?” My feeling of irritation began eroding away. “No… though sometimes I thought you went too far you always had my best interests at heart. You were an amazing and inspirational sister.” “Why, thank you. So now we turn to the next generation. What are you doing for Rose Blossom? Of course I understand that you don’t want her to get seriously hurt. I never intended that for you, and it doesn’t serve anyone’s purposes. However, you can’t compress your sister and expect her not to rebel.” “Rebel?” “Exactly.” The smirk had returned to her, and for some reason that condescending look made the anger flare back up in me. “Of course, what do I know, right? I mean, if Rose takes after you then I’m sure she won’t ever be dissatisfied that you’re not moving along in training fast enough, and decide to go off on her own to do it herself. I’m sure she won’t ever be like you, who, despite being a novice flier, decided to fly all the way to my house despite the great danger involved if you couldn’t handle it. Nah, she won’t ever try to put herself in a position where she’ll have to either die or tough it out because you wouldn’t do her the honor of trusting her enough to be able to conquer adversity.” Twisting around she suddenly did a one-eighty. “Well, that’s all for now. I want to get back and finish my chapter. I’ll see you around, Coward-loo.” As she zoomed off I raced after her, flying to my utmost. I didn’t have to take her taunting. I had been the one who risked everything for Ponyville. How dare she condescend to me? Just as I was about to slam into her she flipped around again, grabbing both my hooves and pulling me to a stop as I struggled to hit her. There was a serious look on her face now. “Don’t get mad at me for spitting the reality of the situation if you never wanted to hear it in the first place! You asked for my opinion on the matter, and I gave it to you. You should know me well enough by now. I don’t sugarcoat the facts or demean you by giving you anything less than the blunt truth. “The way things are going now you’re putting your sister in danger, and one day in the near future, if you keep this up, your sister will push herself too far without your guidance because you refuse to see her as an equal. When the day comes that Rose is seriously hurt or killed because of your negligence you’ll feel far worse than you do now, because you could have prevented it by showing the same respect for her that I always did for you.” She released me. “Think it over and let me know when you’re going to go back to who you really are. Because right now, here in front of me, all I see is a sniveling baby who wants everyone to feel sorry for her. I’ll catch you later… coward!” She left me hovering there. I couldn’t muster up a response. I felt drained again. I went back to my house. It was totally empty. I sat on my bed for a time, trying to process what I was told. I couldn’t concentrate, though. Every time I started to think through the message she had given me I would see that joking grin on her face. “Coward-loo.” “Rainbow Dash!” I said angrily. “Coward-loo. Coward-loo. Coward-loo.” That word echoed in my head. I recognized some truth in her insult, and it only made me more furious. I lost my temper entirely, unable to get that word to stop repeating itself. I began picking up some of my things and throwing them, heedless of the damage I was doing to my room. When I ran out of things to throw I threw myself on my bed, slamming my hooves onto the bed repeatedly like a little kid throwing a tantrum. I ranted and screamed and cursed Rainbow Dash with every single bad word I knew. After I don’t know how much later I finally burned my emotions out, and I just sat there on my bed, panting and looking up at the ceiling, feeling empty and devoid of everything. “Coward-loo,” I said softly, a tear coming down my eye.