I locked my front door and headed inside. A soft twinkling caught my attention. I turned into my living room, finding a coffee cup floating above my couch, wrapped in an orange glow. "Whoa...what?"
The cup dropped as Cosmic let out a sharp gasp, "Oi, oi Jason! Come'ere!"
I complied walking into the room and finding Cosmic's horn glowing bright. "Oh wow, you got your magic back?"
Cosmic just smiled brashly, "I've been eatin' normal, I've been sleepin' normal, I'm getting back ta' normal!"
I sat next to her, petting her mane, "That's great. Well, you're still in two pieces, but baby steps right?"
Cosmic grew a bit indignant, "Right, don't you have a bloody job to be doing!?"
I rustled her mane, "It's summer...."
"And?"
I pinched her ear, tugging it and sending Cosmic into a tizzy. "I'm a school teacher, kids don't go to school in the summer, you dink." I continued to tease her, stopping as something plastic bopped me over the back of the head. "What the hell!?"
Cosmic growled as my TV remote bashed my crown, "Let off ya bastard!" She continued to hit me with my remote until I slid away, leaving her on her side of the couch. "I was a bloody sergeant, I ain't about to be treated like some damn foal!"
I huffed angrily, "Why!? I joke, I try to make you laugh, but you still hate me!"
"I never asked for your dumb ass jokes! I'm fine, I'm bloody buckin' fine!" Cosmic stated, glaring at me and turning on the TV, "I've got this thing, I've got a new bloody bed, it's bloody great!"
"Then can you say thanks!?" I asked, standing from my bed, "I've done absolutely everything to make you feel at home, but not once have you said thanks!"
"Ya don't blood deserve my thanks yet, ya bastard! You're gettin' there, but you're still just a needy git right now!" Cosmic turned to the TV and tuned me out.
I just stood up and went to find Dust. I wandered down my still bare halls, my old furniture and art sold off from my move. I felt a twinge of regret as I walked towards a soft rustling in my guest room. A soft turn later and I found Dust pacing around her room. She spotted me and ran over.
She pressed her neck against my thighs, brushing past me over and over. She turned around, bumping her flank against me and flicking her tail. I pushed her off with my knee and took a step back, "Whoa there, what's going on?"
Dust just continued to try and press herself against me, following me out the door as I tried to back peddle away, "Stop it!"
I turned away, Dust hugging my waist as I walked into the living room, "Cosmic, your body is freaking out."
Cosmic turned to me as Dust latched onto my leg. "Don't mind her...me.... I'm in heat, just give her some tea and send her off."
I cocked my head, "You're in heat? But you're not--"
Cosmic nodded dismissively, "Aye, I'm not drooling over the nearest stallion? I'm a bloody adult, a fighter, I ain't about ta' let some stupid impulse get ta' me, ya tosser."
I pried Dust off and pushed her away with my foot, "Why did you not tell me?"
Cosmic let out an angry sigh and turned off the TV. "Because it doesn't bloody matter to me!" I glared at her, grabbing dust and giving her a hard slap across the flank. Cosmic's eyes popped open as she let out a sharp squeak, "Bloody prick!"
"See that! It matters to you- because your body- is trying to molest me!" I said, pushing Dust away time after time, "Seriously, what the hell!?"
Cosmic just glared at me, "Just give her a tumble or give her some tea--" she stopped and stared ahead, "...Right...I--"
"Did you forget she has no fucking mouth!?" I asked, starting to get annoyed, "You've got your magic back, make some damn tea!"
Cosmic grew a bit red, "Oi, I barely see her anymore! Normally she would just sleep next to me all day! It's been a bloody week, ya could give me--"
I cut her off, grabbing her and taking her into the kitchen, "And you could say thanks, but you don't!" I plopped her down and threw a kettleful of water onto my stove, Dust getting between my legs like an overly affectionate cat. "Can you not control her!?"
Cosmic let out a sharp whistle, Dust jumped back, freezing in place. "Ya get my flank over here, now!" Cosmic yelled, Dust bolting over in response. Things settled down as Dust sat quietly, "Next time bloody ask!"
I let out an angry grumble and tended the kettle, "Why!? Why are you always so mean! Every single thing I've done is just me trying to get you to calm down, but you never do!"
"And here I thought it was because you're a damn lunatic!"
Things got quiet, "You're rude." I stated, pouring a cup and finding a box of teabags. "We're going to bed after this."
Cosmic narrowed her eyes, "I'm not tired."
I dipped the teabag, finishing up and putting the cup before her, "I don't care. I am, and I'm not gonna let you sleep on the couch again!"
Cosmic drank the tea, face growing less flushed as she did, "I don't bloody care what you want, I'm not tired."
I waited until Dust stopped her shifting, then grabbed the duo and ushered them into our respective rooms. Cosmic had taken to sleeping with me in case she needed something, and Dust had moved into my guestroom. The boring cream walls that covered the room were slowly growing more cluttered as Dust accumulated things from our days outside.
I laid her in her bed, leaving her to sort herself out and moving to the bathroom. "Open...." I commanded, finding her toothbrush and going about our new nightly ritual. Cosmic accepted my help, still insisting on insulting me once I finished.
"Bloody weirdo...obsessed with my mouth...." she spit and grumbled as I cleaned myself. I finished up quickly, taking her to my room and setting her down on her pillow. "Ya know...ya could buy something nice for this bloody place...."
I let out a defeated grunt, "Look...I had a long day, can you just stop?" I pleaded, undressing and crawling into bed, "I really...I had to sort something out today so can you just ease up?"
Cosmic cocked an eyebrow, "...Oi...no jokes? No..., you sure you don't want to go under the covers?"
"Not tonight...I just really need to get to sleep." I nestled against my pillow and slipped away, my mind completely drained from a day of paperwork and walking around a schoolhouse for hours, "Just...not...tonight."
I descended into the darkness of sleep, my mind flashing with familiar images as I dreamed. I felt my body toss and turn before settling down and fading to black. Memories of back home flooded my mind, violent flashes of red and tan, bright yellows flashed across my mind.
I slowly realized where I was, spotting familiar faces as I ran across my dream scape. Running, always running, dust and soot falling from the sky as I slammed against a brown stucco wall. I felt my heart race as a trio of faceless men joined me. And then, peering into a doorway, I found a pair of bright orange eyes staring at me, then suddenly going dark.
I awoke with a snap, my dream cut violently short. "What the fuck?" I caught an orange glow dissipating as I stared eye to eye with Cosmic, "What did you just do?" I asked, my voice hazed over and shaky, but growing more and more violent as I awoke.
Cosmic’s eyes were locked on me, her expression one of horrid realization. "I didn't know--"
"What did you do!?" I snapped, starting to rise from my prone position.
Cosmic flattened out her ears as I turned a light on, "I didn't bloody know!"
I grabbed her by her mane, "What did you do to me!?"
She met my glare with an equally angry look, "I bloody saw. You were tossing like a madpony, freakin out and muttering! I learned how to...how to look into--"
"What did you see?" I asked, shaking her by her mane. My voice low and spiteful, "How much did you see?"
Cosmic let out a pained huff as I pulled her, "I saw you, and blood, and bloody sand. Uniforms, and metal." She popped her eyes open, staring at me with a harsh, acquisitive gaze, "You were like me weren’t you...you were a bloody damn soldier."
I made a bitter snarl, the word, soldier, feeling heavy and foreign. I let her go, "I'm not a soldier, not any--"
Cosmic caught her breath, lowering her voice to an excited whisper, "You bloody were! I bucking saw you, in that weird ass uniform, in the bloody desert. W-why the buck did you never tell me?"
Her tone was soft, excited, but it felt acquisitive and angry in my exhausted state. "Shut up!" I demanded, sitting upright, "How did you even do that?!"
Cosmic just glared at me, "Old magic. But you, you were a fighter, you were like me!" her voice full of glee, “You’re infantry...but...I told you I was a soldier, why would you--”
I rubbed my head and leaned my back against the backboard, "Alright fine, I was. I was like you, I killed people, I served my country. You happy now?"
Cosmic looked around, "No! That makes it bloody worse! H-how can ya be a soldier, but act like such a bloody fool--"
I stared at her, stopping her in her tracks. "Four years. I gave up four years to the damn desert, and I'm trying to move on with my life." I picked her up and lifted her eye to eye with me, "You want to know why I make stupid jokes, why I mess with you?"
Cosmic’s eyes grew fierce once again, "Yes, yes I bloody do!" she shot back loudly.
My head throbbed from her constant shouting, “Stop, yelling.” I looked out to my alarm, “Three hours...that’s all!?” I let out a small defeated sigh and set her down in my lap, "I joke because it's better than drinking. And it keeps me from hearing their voices...."
Her breathing grew soft, her idle movement slow and careful. Things grew quiet as Cosmic flicked her ears against my wrists, "Ya hearing ghosts?” she asked, figuratively stepping on eggshells “....How many?" her usual tone soft and meager.
I took a deep breath, "Three...."
Cosmic just nodded, "Aye...I- ...what ya said.... I've met ponies like you. Ponies that lose people, go bloody mental."
I covered her mouth, "Look, I don't want to talk about it. Just know...each joke I make...each...stupid thing I say.... It helps me forget." I rubbed my face and put my hand on her mane, "When things get quiet...really...really quiet, I think about them."
"Oi...turn me around." Cosmic commanded, quickly turning around as I held her before me. Her eyes darted around as she stared at me, "You're not joking." She took a heavy swallow, "I know that face...my old captain wore a look like that before he went mad and topped himself."
I turned away and shook my head, "It's half the reason I'm doing what I'm doing." I set her down and rubbed my eyes, "It was so quiet...no one ever came by. I've been living down here for a month now, no one besides you or that other mare came by." I dug my nails against my scalp. “I needed something, someone. I needed something to fill the gap in this damn place, just knowing there's someone else here...knowing I'm not alone, it helps."
"But ya don't have ta' act like a bloody loon!" Cosmic stated, staring at me dead on, "Those jokes don't help a damn bloody thing."
"They help me damn it!" I looked down and shook my head, "They help me.... Every time I laugh, it gets me that much farther from what I did."
Cosmic's stare was unflinching, "Who else knows about this? About, any of it?"
I slowly set her down into my lap, "You...."
Cosmic's voice went from determined and questioning, to soft and sympathetic, "...Never told your leader?"
I shook my head and laid down, returning Cosmic to her pillow, "I never got a chance." I turned to her, watching as she refused to break her gaze, "Look, talking about it isn't going to help."
Cosmic finally broke her stare, looking towards the roof, "Fine. But ya need to stop with those bloody jokes, move on.” her voice finally lowered, leaving her words unintentionally condescending, “And...you're not the only one who lost their friends, and I bloody moved on."
I closed my eyes, "Did you?"
"Aye, I bloody did!"
I took a deep breath, "Then stop yelling."
Things went dead silent leaving me to fall asleep, my mind slightly eased from the person now resting against my forehead. Cosmic’s voice echoed around the otherwise silent room, "I'm sorry...I didn’t know."
“I know….” I reached my hand out, cupping the back of her head and interlacing my fingers into her mane, “I would have told you if you’d asked.” I held her against my forehead, gently rubbing the back of her head, “I don’t like being mad, not at anyone. But you...I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”
Cosmic let out a sigh of concession, her still minty breath running down the bridge of my nose, “Aye…. But...I think...I think I want to be friends now…. I think it’d be nice….”
“Because it would be nice.” I decided to step into her turf, using her angry tone and accent against her, “But right now...go the fuck ta’ sleep, and don’t go crawlin’ around in my damn ‘ead.”
A soft rustling drew my attention, “Oi….” Cosmic asserted with a soft chirp, “Ya makin’ fun a me?”
I laughed gingerly, “No...you generally do that well enough on your own.”
“...Bloody pillock.”