Irreplaceable

by La Barata

Chapter 9 - For the best?

Passing through Ponyville, Applejack looked for Twilight. All around her, ponies struggled to douse fires, shift rubble and to help their friends. No Twilight. Noticing Rarity, Applejack picked her way over to her through the debris. Seeing her, Rarity quickly finished snuffing out a flaming tree branch and turned to face her.
“Applejack... Is this really happening? I know it is, really, it’s just... I just can’t seem to get my head around it all...”. Applejack nodded sadly.
“‘Fraid it is, sugarcube. Wish it weren’t, but it is, an’ we gotta do our best ta try fixin’ it. Y’all seen Twilight about? She’s takin’ it all pretty hard”. Concerned, Rarity looked at her.
“Well, as a matter of fact, I DID. She was heading in the direction of the Everfree Forest, come to think of it. I wonder-” Rarity fell silent. Applejack had already gone. At a full gallop, Applejack reached the forest’s edge within a minute. Taking a deep breath, she continued inside, following a trail of fresh hoofprints. Within minutes, she’d caught up to Twilight. No longer running, she’d slowed to a deliberate trot.
“Twilight!” Applejack called. No response. “Come on, Twi, let’s get on back to town”.
“Leave me alone”.
“Twi?”
“Leave me alone”.
“Look, I know that-” Twilight wheeled around.
“I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!” Applejack was taken aback by her sudden outburst.
“Everything that’s happened is all because of me. Ponyville, Dash, Spike, everything. It seems, these days, that everything I touch crumbles around me.”
“Twi, things happen, ya cant go beatin’ yerself up about it. All ya can do is push forward and do your best to make things right. Its not as if y’all coulda known any... hold on a tic, how is what happened in Ponyville your fault?” Twilight turned away from her friend. “Twi, that dragon wasn’t Spike. That dragon was huge, our Spike is a mite smaller. I ain’t no scholar, but last I checked it takes hundreds o’ years for a dragon to get that big...Twi?...Twilight?”
“We live in a world of magic. I move things with my mind, control the wind, I even made Spike into a giant once myself. Is it really so hard to believe there’s magic out there that could age a dragon to such an extent in such a short time?” It was a rhetorical question; Twilight knew very well Applejack was able to grasp such a concept.
“Twilight, what makes you think Spike did this?”
“I suppose you didn’t notice”
“Notice what?”
“Those marks. In the library. Didn’t you wonder why I gave them so much attention?”
“No...I mean yes...I mean, look there just claw marks from a monster gone wild.”
Twilight turned on her friend, eyes wild and furious.
“He is not a monster!”
“It wasn’t Spike, sugarcube!”
“It doesn’t really surprise me you didn’t notice, actually. His penmanship was always so terrible, but he loved taking my letters so much that Celestia and I just learned how to read it.” The fire left Twilight’s eyes as her mind began wander, reminiscing of times gone by. She turned away from Applejack, her head raised. She looked to the sky, watching the clouds as the wind carried them slowly along. Applejack slowly began to inch forward, sensing Twilight was preparing to teleport away again.
“Please.” Twilight turned, shifting her gaze from the clouds above to her friend. “Please, Twilight, don’t go off again. I know y’all see me as the rough ‘n tough pony, that I’m never ‘fraid of anythin’, but when ya ‘ported away before, I... I can’t even begin to describe how scared I was that I’d never see you again. So please, please Twilight, don’t leave me here thinking I’ve lost y’all again”. Twilight looked back to the sky.
“Friendship is magic, Applejack. A true friendship lasts long after the friends have been forced apart. True friends are never forgotten, and never truly leave. It sounds cliche and silly, but it’s true. At least, I think it is... Do me a favour, Applejack?”
“Anything, Twilight.”
“Remember the days before. Back in the times when we were all together. Don’t remember Dash wrapped up and in pain, don’t remember Spike as a giant monster that destroyed Ponyville, and don’t remember me as I am now.”
“I can do that, just so long as you promise that in fifty years’ time we’ll both be sitting in your library with the rest of the gang, not rememberin’ together.” Twilight turned around, a small sad smile on her face. It was the first time in almost a month that her smile, no matter how sad, seemed genuine.
“I’m sorry, A.J. I can’t make that promise”. Before Applejack could reply, the purple mare summoned a fierce glow, which quickly bubbled out to surround her. There was a bright flash that made Applejack turn away. When she looked back, the light had gone, taking her friend with it.

Applejack slowly began her journey back to Ponyville, her head hung low. How could Twilight do that to me, especially after what I told her? I have never begged for anything in my life, and I outright pleaded with that girl to stay, and she left anyway. Even at her slow pace Applejack made it back to town rather quickly. Upon arrival she saw Rarity and Fluttershy waiting nearby. The orange mare began making her way towards her friends, who, having spotted her, were likewise attempting to close the gap. When they were in earshot, Rarity called out to her.
“Did you manage to catch her, darling?” Applejack looked to Rarity to answer, but stopped when her eyes locked onto the town library. Applejack shot off past her friends, moving towards the burnt tree as quickly as she could manage. She burst into the main library and began reexamining the scratches on the floor. She once again tried every conceivable angle, she simply couldn’t see what Twilight saw. Rarity and Fluttershy entered the building just as Applejack ran upstairs to view them from a different height.
“Applejack! Fluttershy and I have been worried sick about you and Twilight, how could you just ignore us like that?”
“Consarnit, Rarity, I’ve got to figure this out! Can I please deal with y’all later!” Applejack squinted, turning her head at various angles in an attempt to see just what it was that Twilight had seen. At this height, they almost looked as if they formed letters, but she simply couldn’t make it out.
“Applejack, what are you doing? Where is Twilight, and what has gotten you in such a fuss that you feel the need to speak so rudely towards your friends?”
“She left. ‘Ported off again.”
“Oh my! The poor girl must have a lot on her mind... Even so, that still doesn’t explain what you’re doing”. Applejack kept up her examination, ignoring Rarity.
“Applejack! Don’t you dare ignore me! Now, tell me what’s going on!” Applejack found herself frustrated, moreso than she’d ever been with the white unicorn, and just wanted to scream at her to just shut up, but she managed to calm herself.
“Twilight said there was something about these markings, that they somehow proved the dragon that did all this was Spike. From this height, it sorta looks like words but fer the life ‘a me, I can’t rightly figure it out”.
“I loved you”.
Applejack whirled around to face Fluttershy, who had flown up to stand next to her.
“Wha...What?” Applejack started, feeling herself begin to blush.
“T...that’s what it says.” Tears were falling, now, running down the shy pegasus pony’s face. “It...it sa...says I loved you. An...and it...it looks like Spike’s writing...” Fluttershy turned away, hiding her face in her wing, and began to sob. “Oh, Celestia, what’s hap...happening?” Applejack placed a gentle hoof on her friend’s shoulder.
Rarity had joined the two friends on the second floor and was peering down at the marks on the floor. Her face scrunched up in what the others would have, under better circumstances, found quite amusing ways as she tried to see what Fluttershy saw.
“We gotta find her. I know we gave her a bit o’ time ta herself earlier on, but she’s not herself at th’ moment”. Rarity gave up her search, from the look in her eye she didn’t need to confirm it herself to believe Fluttershy. Spike, their little Spike, had attacked Ponyville, and was, it seemed, now a hundred times his original size. It was no wonder Twilight had run off.
“But, wouldn’t it just be best to give her a bit of time alone? I mean, I can’t even imagine how tough a time she must be having with all this, after all...” Rarity bit her lower lip and looked away, the tears forming in her eyes mixing with her makeup as she fruitlessly tried to rub away the rivulets of colour making their way down her cheek. Always the optimist, Rarity normally managed to find good in every situation, but this time it seems even she couldn’t put a positive spin on this. Applejack embraced both her friends, pulling them close in a tight hug.
“Not this time, sugarcube. Normally, I’d agree with ya, but I ain’t never seen her like this. We really shouldn’t be leavin’ her alone.” Rarity nodded. There wasn’t a sliver of doubt in her mind, for even she didn’t believe that Twilight should really be unsupervised. Applejack, releasing her two friends, began to gently issue instructions. “Now then, we need to get to work. Fluttershy, you go find Owlysius; it’s gettin’ dark out, and his eyes are a darn sight better’n ours at night. Meet us at Zecora’s”.
“He...”Fluttershy swallowed, doing her best to force back her tears and put on a brave face. “He’s staying at my house. The poor little guy hasn’t stopped searching for Spike since he went missing. He showed up at my house a few days ago, exhausted. Hopefully, he’ll be rested enough to help!”. With that, Fluttershy took off at top speed..
“Alright. Rarity, I need you go find Pinkie Pie and meet us at Zecora’s. I’ma go see if I can find us some lanterns”.
************************************

Twilight stared. This time, the other mare was in a puddle of muddy water. Despite the discolouration, it was clearly the same pony she had earlier seen in the pond. This time, though, she recognized the pony in the water. The useless, worthless mare, red and teary eyed, unkempt and dishevelled. Completely worthless. Entirely useless. A failure.
Her.
She finally recognized the pony staring back at her. It was her, Twilight Sparkle the failure, Twilight Sparkle the ineffectual, Twilight Sparkle the empty, the useless, the nothing. Nothing. That’s what she was, nothing. Nothing. It struck her, then. Not only did she know who the mare in the water was, she knew who SHE was. Looking away from the water, she knew what she had to do. It was her fault, all of it. She was the one closest to Spike, it was her fault that he’d left, that he’d done what he’d done. It was her fault Ponyville had burned, that Rainbow Dash had been hurt. Almost in a trance, she began to walk. Summoning energy into her horn, turning that energy into a teleport spell. She disappeared midstep in a magical flash, reappearing in a familiar place without breaking stride. Froggybottom Bog. She knew what had to be done, how to make amends. She walked, passing rocks and trees, through patches of swampy mud and wet sand. Finally, she came to the first of her two destinations. The second would be her last. She stood on the edge of the cliff, looking down. She’d taken this fall once before, a freak gas bubble the only thing saving her life. She smiled, almost in spite of herself. No chance of that this time. This time, she’d hit the water. This time, she wasn’t coming back. She debated closing her eyes, but decided not to. She’d faced everything in her life eyes closed, blind to almost everything around her. Now, she would face what was coming with her eyes wide open. She paused a moment, trying to ascertain what she felt, if anything. What SHOULD she be feeling? Should she be sad? Afraid? Happy, even? It didn’t matter anymore. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out into open air and let gravity take hold.