Chapter Eight
Sustenance
One of the great things about armor is that it feels wonderful when you take it off. I carefully wiped each piece as I removed it and nested them all properly together. It was good for me to practice stowing them completely even though I had more than enough room in the palace guest suite that I had been given for the night.
I double checked my to-do list for the next morning and then floated over to the bed. Well, that's what it felt like without pounds and pounds of enchanted steel encasing me, anyway. I could feel where the armor's straps had been cinched down tightly, and I was completely tired and wrung-out even though it was still early in the evening. I suppose the emotional upset of the day had something to do with it. I had gone through the afternoon working through items on my to-do list and trying not to think too much about anything else.
I decided to stay in Canterlot, and while Luna had been more than willing to share her chambers with me, I had asked for the private room. I needed some time alone. I pulled back the covers and settled onto the bed. The pillowcases were expensive imported silk, which was a shame, really. Nothing but the finest for a guest of the two sisters, but it would have cost so much less to replace them if they had been cotton.
I held one of the pillows up to my face and beat at it and screamed until it came apart. Yes, I could have set up a sound-proofing spell, but that really wouldn't have been visceral enough for me right then. The pillows muffled the sound well enough. I took a deep breath, then grabbed a second pillow. The fluctuations of my magical field didn't quite set it on fire, but there were horn-shaped scorch marks all over the pieces when I dropped them on top of the others.
There had only been three pillows to begin with, and as I would need one to sleep on, I forced myself to calm down enough to merely soak a bath sheet with frustrated tears. When I finally felt that I had no more tears or energy to expend, I rolled over and pulled the covers up. I stared at the canopy and tried to mentally review my plans for the next day. I tried several mental focusing tricks, but I just couldn't manage it.
What I did was go over the scene in the throne room again, and again, thinking of what had been said, what I should have said, and how I was sure I had disappointed Celestia in a critical, fundamental way.
Isn't love grand?
Yes, love. Because that was the evening I finally admitted it to myself. I couldn't believe that mere infatuation could cause me such anxiety and emotional pain. I really was in love with Luna. I had forgiven her for the horrible dream she had given Flash Sentry, even though it had been bullying of the most appalling sort. I'd told her I would forgive her for whatever else she'd done, and I was pretty sure I would. What was it about me being furious that inclined me to forgiveness? I suppose Discord's betrayal had been much worse, and I'd managed to forgive him. I made a mental note to review some books on abnormal psychology when I got the time.
It was only when I tried to count the little roses on the tapestry bed canopy that my exhaustion managed to overtake me.
= = =
Pinkie Pie was trying to get me to eat a big plate of fresh blueberry muffins. They were piled so high I couldn't see over them.
"They're bad for me, Pinkie!" I explained. "If I gain too much weight, I won't be able to fit into my armor. Then who's going to fight the monsters?"
"Well, we could always just agree not to fight," the Nightmare said, reasonably enough. "Then you can have some muffins." She slowly took a big bite out of the one she was holding in her hoof. "Mmmmmm... so rich and sweet!"
"You stay out of this! And stop eating my muffins!"
"If you're not going to eat them, how are they your muffins?" she asked, and bent over for another bite. She paused and inhaled the steam rising from the muffin in her hoof. "Ah... such a wonderful scent! So soft and moist..." She touched the muffin with her mouth and her jaw worked, but she didn't pull back right away. She made a satisfied, humming sound and pressed her muzzle against the pastry, twisting her head slightly.
"Wow!" Pinkie said. "That looks really, really delicious! Are you sure you don't want some, Twilight?"
"Of course I want some, Pinkie! I've just got a good idea of the future consequences of my actions and have a decent amount of self-restraint."
Pinkie giggle-snorted and leaned over the table until her nose was almost touching mine. "Silly Twilight! No, you don't!"
For some reason, her statement deeply troubled me. I looked over to where the Nightmare had her face buried to the eyes in the plate of pastries. "I... I have to restrain myself! If I show good judgment, I'll still be nice and trim when ponies are calling her 'Nightmare Balloon!'"
The Nightmare pulled her snout out of the steaming pile of muffins and ever so slowly licked her lips. "No chance of that, little one. The Eternal Ones don't gain weight. Nor do we lose weight, age or become feeble with the passing of the years, so..." She leaned close to me, close enough that I could smell the scent of fresh blueberries on her breath. "We can eat all the muffins we want!"
"Wait, why are you here? Where's Luna? Isn't she going to chase you away?"
The Nightmare shrugged. "She's 'giving you some space', I suspect. Isn't that how ponies put it nowadays? I'm sure if you called out for her, she'd come rescue you from big, bad me!" She peeled her lips back in a snarl, revealing razor sharp teeth. It would have been a more frightening display if she hadn't had bits of muffin stuck between them.
"I can take care of myself!"
"Oh, I have no doubt. But wouldn't it be nicer to be friends? You're famous for making friends, Twilight."
"Why should I be friends with you?"
"I have so many things I could share with you, Twilight! So many secrets."
I knew better but I still asked, "Like what?"
"Well..." She reached over and lifted a muffin off of the plate and offered it to me. "How about this?"
"It's a muffin. And it already has a bite out of it."
"Look closer, Twilight. There's a secret hidden there."
In the cleft left by the bite mark was a big, juicy blueberry. It looked absolutely delicious. One berry couldn't hurt, could it? I stretched out my neck and opened my mouth.
"No! Not like that, Twilight," the Nightmare admonished me. "Gently. Touch the sides with your lips... yes, like that. Now... tease the berry out. Use just the tip of your tongue... softly, softly... stroke it until it wants to come free. Yes, that's right. Very good, Twilight."
= = =
A gentle tapping at my door woke me.
"Yes?" I called out automatically, blinking sleep from my eyes.
"Breakfast, Your Highness," came the reply.
"Oh, yes." I levitated the two shredded pillows, wrapped in the bath sheet, over to the other side of the bed where they wouldn't be visible. "Please come in."
The hoofmaiden wheeled in a cart carrying a coffee carafe and a couple of covered dishes. She curtsied and fussed with the food, setting it out on the table for me. She also put two folded notes down next to my breakfast before departing.
I went for the coffee first, of course. It was only after the second long swallow that the memory of my dream floated back to me. It was fortunate that I hadn't had my mouth full when my brain processed the meaning of the metaphorical muffins. I'd done enough damage to the room's furnishings without spitting coffee all over the carpet.
I definitely needed to do more research into what, exactly, the Nightmare was... and how to get rid of her permanently.
I opened the first note while biting savagely at a piece of wheat toast. It was from Celestia.
Dear Twilight,
I have spoken with Luna, and I have mended things between us as well as may be hoped for. As an apology, I have given her command of Solar Flare, and she alone will accompany you south at the end of the week.
I would like to see you again before you leave Canterlot, but if you are too busy, I understand. If you have need of anything I can provide, you need only ask.
Celestia
I thought about it for a while. I couldn't help but think that the note sounded a bit sad, so I wrote back and offered to have tea with her the next day. I made sure to sign it, "Your Friend, Always, Twilight Sparkle."
The second note was from Luna. She must have written it herself because it was in heavy blackletter script that was a bit difficult to read.
Twilight, My Dearest,
My sister and I have come to an agreement, and soon you and I shall once again know the excitement of battle together. I have made arrangements for all the things you requested and they have been delivered where you directed.
I am feeling penumbral without you, and wish to see you soon. If you come only to berate me for my failings, yet come. Your absence is worse than any scolding.
Love,
Luna
I couldn't help smiling. I felt like chucking my schedule and rushing over to her tower right then, but if I was to earn the trust Celestia had shown in me, I would have to behave as responsibly as possible. That meant I had to go on as planned. But it didn't mean I couldn't multi-task.
Dearest Luna,
I enclose a copy of my schedule. If you don't mind being up in the middle of the day, you could meet me at the hospital. Afterwards, we can have lunch together and then go to the airship yards to inspect the work on Solar Flare. But, if you'd rather sleep in, I understand. In that case, I will see you tonight.
Love and Kisses,
Twilight
I almost left my armor in the room. I was sore in all sorts of new places from wearing it the day before, but nowhere near as bad as the day after the battle. I tried telling myself it wasn't very appropriate for wearing around the city, but royal guards in armor were a common enough sight, and I could recognize rationalization even when I was the pony making it up. I grimaced at the weight as I buckled the various pieces on.
Canterlot ponies have an odd attitude toward royalty. Most are extremely concerned with their social position, so any hint of favor from the princesses or higher nobility is something they desperately hope for. At the same time, they think it is gauche and low-class to show any sign of being impressed by the presence of nobles or surprised by anything they may do. That meant that none of the ponies I encountered that morning while doing my errands gave any hint of being perturbed by my attire.
Only Donut Joe made any comment, and he was an old acquaintance of mine.
"Nice, shiny suit ya got there, Princess! What can I getcha today?"
"Thank you, Joe. I think I'll have..." My gaze fell on a tray of fresh muffins and I felt my cheeks grow hot. "One éclair, please!"
"Cream-filled?"
"Ye..." A sudden image popped into my head. Oh stars! Had that black-hearted nag ruined all pastries for me? "No, wait! I'll take an apple fritter instead."
"Here ya go, Your Highness. Nice to see ya again!"
I ate the lumpy, brown, and totally non-suggestive fritter on the way to the florist near the Royal Infirmary. I was even starting to enjoy the day a bit, beautiful as it was. I picked up my order of flowers and decided to make a last minute addition. I left the shop with an extra little bouquet for Luna, just in case.
The receptionist in the hospital lobby did stare a bit at my armor. She'd been told I was coming, but no doubt hadn't expected a clanking metal apparition in the midst of a cloud of flowers. Her assistant led me to the ward set aside for my ponies.
To my surprise, outside the doors to the ward I met the palace physician, Dr. Feverfew, who was flipping through some charts attached to a clipboard. She glanced up and then went back to her charts with a simple, "Princess." to acknowledge my presence.
"Doctor," I replied. Two can play at that game. "I didn't know you worked here."
"I don't."
"In for a check-up?"
That got her to look up. "Her Solar Majesty asked me to assess the condition of the ponies wounded in your latest... affair," she said, crisply. "I am sure you will be glad to know that all but one of them will be able to return to active duty in very short order. Three have already been discharged."
"The one—"
"Not fit for duty. Never will be. Should be dismissed from service with a pension, in my opinion."
"Give me the details," I said, as my stomach started to knot up.
Dr. Feverfew flipped to a chart and held it out to me.
The long and the short of it was that Private Flicker's right wing was so badly damaged that he would never fly again. He might regain some small use of the wing, but the major nerves were beyond repair, so there was no chance of fitting a prosthetic.
I let the charts flop back onto the clipboard and said, "Does he know?"
"Yes."
"Take me to him."
Dr. Feverfew cleared her throat. "Her Lunar Majesty is in the waiting area—"
"Then that's the perfect place for her to wait, isn't it?" I dumped the flowers on a nearby empty gurney. "Take me to Private Flicker. Please."
They all looked up when I entered the ward. I didn't meet the eyes of any of them, not even Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy, though I did say softly, "I'll see you guys in a bit," as I passed by them.
Flicker was in a bed near the end of the room. He watched me walk the entire length of the ward and made a very strong effort to smile. He failed.
"Thank you, doctor," I said, not looking away from Flicker. "You can go."
"Your Highness, I think—"
I looked at her then. She stepped back. After a moment, she bowed and walked away. I didn't feel very proud of myself for bullying a doctor who was only trying to do her job, even if she was really annoying about it. But I didn't think I was going to feel proud of myself for much of anything that day.
"T—thank you for coming, Princess," Flicker said. He had given up the attempt to smile.
I've never been very good at small talk. I've had to learn a few techniques to get by at court functions, but I would rather have been spit-roasted than play that sort of game with a pony who had had his life destroyed because of me.
"Flicker, there's a chance that something that can be done for you. It will mean a very big change in your life, but it will also mean you'll be able to fly again."
"What? You're not... is that really true?"
I wasn't the least embarrassed by his tears; my own cheeks were wet. "Yes, it's true. Let me explain."
I laid it out for him in the most direct manner I could. With Luna's consent, he could become one of her Night Guard: The transformation to a bat pony would renew his body completely, but it was irreversible. He would be magically bound to Luna, his oath of servitude literally embodied in his physical form. He was, understandably, shocked and uncertain at first. Despite Luna's guards now being a part of normal Canterlot life, most ponies were wary if not outright frightened of them.
"Yes," I said, "it isn't a perfect solution. Whichever choice you make, your life is going to be very different from now on, and I am so sorry for that. You shouldn't make a decision right now. Even if you decide you want this, you'll need time to let your friends and family know about it. And they will need time to... adjust."
"Okay," he said, with the stunned expression still fixed on his face. "I'll... I'll think about it. When... how soon do I need to let you know?"
"Whenever you're ready. Take as long as you need."
"Okay."
I left him and worked my way back up the room, stopping and talking with each of the ponies until I got to Rainbow Dash's bed.
"Two more days until the casts come off," she told me. "So, I'll be going with you when you go back."
"The casts may be off by then, but that doesn't mean you'll be fully recovered. Anyway, Celestia is sending such a massive force that—"
"Twilight, with these casts on, I can't stick my hooves in my ears, so just assume I can't hear you, okay?"
"Rainbow Dash, if you think that—"
"I'm going, too."
Dash and I both turned to stare at Fluttershy in amazement.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Dash said. "It's going to be a battle, Fluttershy! What are you going to do? You even skip over the violent parts of the Daring Do books when you read to me!"
Fluttershy crossed her hooves over her chest. "Ponies are going to get hurt, and I'm trained in advanced first-aid. I know I usually only practice on animals, but the principles are the same. Even if I can't fix what's wrong, sometimes it helps just to have somepony to talk to."
"Fluttershy," I said, "you're very brave for wanting to come, but—"
She turned and glared at me. "Which of the rest of the girls are going to stay home?"
"Uh..."
"Exactly. I'm going, Twilight."
Adaptation. That was the key. When a battle plan goes wrong, a good leader changes the plan. "All right, then. You'll both be on Evenstar with me. Rainbow Dash, I am going to put you in command of a three-pony flight. Fluttershy, when you get back to Ponyville, you'll assist with the fitting out of Evenstar's starboard bunkroom as a sickbay and be in charge of the ward during the trip." I looked back and forth between them, savoring their wide-eyed surprise. "Will that do?"
Fluttershy nodded slowly. Rainbow Dash squeaked out, "Really?"
"Oh, I almost forgot..." I teleported the flowers in from outside the ward. "Some snacks to brighten up the room."
= = =
Luna took up one corner of the waiting area. She had brought her own cushions and was curled up asleep with the just the tip of her nose under one wing.
"How long has she been here?" I whispered to Dr. Feverfew.
"She was here when I arrived this morning," she replied, equally softly.
"I see. Would you mind very much leaving us alone for a minute or two?"
The doctor was out of the room before I had finished speaking. I floated over the little bouquet of night-blooming jasmine until it settled right next to Luna's nose. She shifted her head to touch the flowers. "Mmmm... so sweet," she murmured. Her eyes slowly opened and she gazed across the room at me. "My favorite."
My heart banged around in my chest like a panicked bird in a cage. Luna slowly stood, stretching languidly as she stepped off the cushions. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her as her muscles tightened and relaxed in a wave that began at her shoulders and swept down her body in a display of powerful perfection. Oh Sun and Moon, I had it bad.
She carried the bouquet along as she crossed the room, and it half hid her lowered face as she asked me quietly, "Are you still angry with me, my love?"
The surge of emotion that swept through me left me dizzy and on the verge of panting. Really, that isn't hyperbole: I began breathing more quickly, and I actually swayed a bit on my hooves. In that head-on crash between higher brain functions and amorous blood chemistry, it kind of surprised me that I could still remember how to talk. "No, not angry. Maybe later."
Luna smiled and raised her head and all of a sudden I was kissing her and using my magic to pull her closer and cursing what remained of my senses for reminding me that a hospital waiting room probably wasn't an appropriate place to go flinging bits and pieces of armor off in a desperate attempt to get as much of my body in contact with Luna's as possible.
I broke off, gasping and staring into Luna's very wide eyes. Evidently, I had surprised us both.
"Lunch!" I blurted out. "We should go get lunch. Somewhere very public!"
I turned my back on her. I had to turn my back on her or I'm sure I would have caused a scandal. "How about that nice place on Hackamore Street across from the library? They have a balcony!" Without waiting for her reply, I trotted out of the room. I didn't dare to look back, but I listened closely for Luna's hoofsteps behind me and sighed with relief when I heard them.
Dr. Feverfew watched us go by with a carefully neutral expression and a perfunctory bow. Sour old thing.
= = =
The Hayloft on Hackamore was one of those fancy places where you paid for the atmosphere and décor as much as for the food, excellent though it was. The first time I had eaten there was for my sixteenth birthday with my family, and I always remembered how elegant it had been and how mature I had felt, dining in such a fancy restaurant.
I thought it would be the perfect place to take Luna for lunch, but I wanted to make sure. "Is it alright with you? Have you been there before?"
"I have not," Luna replied. "But I am sure it will be fine. You arranged the date, Twilight, it is your prerogative to choose the place."
Date? I almost panicked. The lunch I had so casually suggested would be our first date! Wasn't a first date supposed to be something extra special? I had gotten so caught up in all the planning for battle and dealing with Celestia's disapproval that I had completely forgotten the most important thing going on in my life! I could have checked out a guide to dating etiquette from the library and read it between the jeweler's and the alchemist's that morning, but I completely wasted the time. I was a horrible girlfriend!
"Twilight?" Luna asked when I stopped dead in the street and began hyperventilating. "Is something the matter?"
"No!" I had to be strong, for her! "No, I just remembered something that I... forgot. I'm fine. Everything's fine."
Luna looked at me doubtfully but I resumed walking and breathing normally, and soon we arrived at the restaurant.
The maître d' betrayed his utter astonishment at the unheralded arrival of two royal princesses, one in full battle armor, by twitching his impeccably groomed mustache ever so slightly. "How may I serve Your Highnesses?" he asked as he rose from a graceful bow.
"Is there a table available on the balcony?" I asked.
The maître d' clicked one highly polished hoof twice against the floor and a young colt in a server's apron appeared at his side. "Clear the balcony for the princesses," he said to the colt.
"Oh, no!" I said, quickly. "Please, don't disturb your customers! We're fine with just a table for two, if there's one available."
The colt looked to the maître d' for direction. Evidently, his boss far outranked mere royalty. "Table One," was all the sleek stallion said, and his minion rushed off to do his bidding.
The lunching elite of Canterlot affected not to notice Luna and me, but normal conversations lowered to speculative whispers in our wake. By the time we reached the upper floor, the large table in the central lobe of the scallop-shaped balcony was cleared and set for us. It was obviously the place of honor, affording a clear view up and down the street below: a place to see and to be seen. For my birthday dinner, we had been seated in the rear of the lower floor, with the rest of the riff-raff.
The maître d' waited until we had seated ourselves on the cushions and then floated over what looked to be three volumes of an encyclopedia: menus and the wine list. Luna waved them away. "I am sure that whatever the chef recommends will be fine."
The maître d' bowed just a little lower than previously. "Very good, Your Highness."
"And may I have a small vase for my flowers?"
"But of course, Your Highness."
I thought it would be best to remove the chamfron from my head while eating, so I unbuckled the chinstrap and set it to one side.
Luna grinned at me and said, with that little gesture asking permission, "Your hair is a bit mussed."
"Oh, I... sure."
Her magic swept over me, and brushed my mane into place with long, cool strokes. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation.
"There," Luna said, all too soon. "Perfect, again." There was one last touch of her magic, a gentle caress on my cheek that made me shiver.
A waiter approached with two tall and frosty glasses of mint and lavender tea, and a little crystal vase with some water in it. Luna gave an elegant nod of her head in acknowledgment as he set them down. "It is one of the terrible burdens a warrior princess must bear, I'm afraid," she said in a clear voice that, while not at all loud, was certainly pitched to carry to the eager ears of our fellow diners on the balcony. "Helmet hair."
I couldn't help but chuckle. "But that's not a problem for you, is it?" I countered. "The night sky doesn't get all sweaty and mussed!"
Luna smiled as she took the paper from around her jasmine and placed the flowers in the vase. "Oh, but I didn't always have such a mane and tail. When I was quite young..."
I was suddenly aware of how quiet it had gone all around us. The clatter of a dropped fork sounded like a thunderclap.
"Ah... but that is a story I will tell you another time, my love," Luna concluded, the corner of her mouth twitching ever so slightly.
A collective sigh of disappointment swept over the balcony, and I had to admit to myself a terrible truth: Luna was an awful tease.
= = =
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