"Everypony? What in the world is that supposed to mean?" Rarity asked. She was giving Rainbow an odd look (which was totally warranted, but still unnerving).
"Er-- I mean--" In her confusion, Rainbow couldn't think of the name of a single one of our friends. "Uhm..."
"Wait, wait. On the rest of our friends?" Rarity demanded. Then, in a softer tone, "Are you one of those polyamoric types?"
Rainbow said nothing, just stared at Rarity. She had never heard that word before.
"I mean, not that it's bad or embarrassing!" she quickly covered. "Just... shocking. I couldn't see you dating one pony, let alone... well, five."
Rainbow continued staring, then shook herself out of her daze. "Look, it's hard to explain. I recently had a... prediction... made about my love life."
"Your non-existent love life?" Rarity chuckled.
"Oh, heh, heh, heh," Rainbow mocked.
"Oh, you don't really believe those things, do you?" Rarity held a hoof up against the wind, attempting to preserve her perfect mane.
"Not normally," Rainbow admitted, "But this was more like... mandatory-type... fortune telling..." Rainbow let her sentence fall off. She wished she could say that it had at least started well, but it was a pretty lame description of what really happened. Not that she could tell the real story, of course...
At this point, Rarity was simply ready to move on. "Well, what did they tell you?"
"That my soulmate was... one of you guys."
"Hm." Rarity's face turned to a frown, but remained elegant. "That's oddly specific for a fortune teller. Is this one of those situations where we wouldn't find them if we went back to look?"
Rainbow scoffed. "Dunno how you'd go about finding him." She felt a tiny tug on her wings. "Or her! I, uh, couldn't really tell, you know..."
Rarity gave Rainbow an odd look.
"Um... fortune teller aside, you think you could... help me?" Rainbow gulped, looking down at the quilt under her and rubbing her hooves nervously.
"With what?" Rarity asked.
"Like... I don't know, making them like me and stuff..." Rainbow's voice was now barely above a mumble.
Rarity laughed, then reached out for a lock of Rainbow's hair. "Well, you can start by washing this mess. You can handle that, right?"
Rainbow smiled sheepishly.
Rarity only sighed, a little smile on her face as she tried not to laugh. "Well, let's head back to the Boutique, then. I've got just the thing."
Rarity leapt up, quickly and carefully folding up the quilt. Rainbow was a bit hesitant, but eventually followed Rarity's joyful trot back into town.
"I don't get it. You're totally okay with me... er... practicing on you?" Rainbow asked.
Rarity shrugged. "It may have been a bit disappointing at first, dear, but honestly-- who could ever think we were compatible?" She chuckled softly. "Plus, I think it's much more fun to be on this side of the equation."
"You've done this before?" Rainbow asked, though she wasn't really shocked.
Rarity shrugged. "What can I say? I'm reliable. Now, look--" Rarity's tone turned serious, and she addressed Rainbow directly. "When we get back, you're going to need to get your mane scrubbed through with some pretty heavy-duty shampoos..."
Rainbow just let Rarity talk, not listening to any of the odd terms she was throwing about, such as 'volume' (which she had only heard in terms of music) and 'conditioner' (which sounded like an exercise). After what felt like hours of this, they reached the Boutique.
Rarity ushered Rainbow inside, running back and forth to various cabinets and grabbing brightly-colored bottles. Rainbow stared at the room like it was brand-new to her, trying to act nonchalant while Rarity fussed over her.
"Okay, Rainbow. Into the shower, please." Rarity all but demanded, had it not been for the 'please.' She was already pushing Rainbow towards the bathroom as she said this.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Rainbow attempted to stop Rarity, but she was almost unnaturally strong when the promise of interference in in the pegasus' love life hung before her. "Quit it! Showers are meant to be private, Rares! Celestia, you're so creepy sometimes..."
Rarity chuckled. "Well, they won't be private if you find a new soulmate!"
"Ew," muttered, almost with a deadpan.
Rarity giggled again. "Sorry. I couldn't help it. Oh, I'm just so excited!" She was practically bouncing up and down by now.
"Ugh. Look, just give me the... uh, stuff, and I'll get started." Rainbow held out a hoof.
"Oh, no no no no no." The unicorn shook her head vigorously. "It isn't anywhere near that simple. First we have shampoo, then second shampoo, then a pre-pre-conditioner, then pre-conditioner..." Rarity's voice once again faded to mere white noise as she continued to rattle off bizarre products. "...and, of course, we'll need to use some kind of moisturizer or pimple cream or something on those blemishes. Haven't you ever noticed those little red dots between your eyebrows?"
Rainbow shook her head clear. "Huh?"
Rarity sighed dramatically, though it came out as more of an exasperated growl. "Look, just let me help, okay? It isn't like you don't walk around au naturel everyday, anyway."
"But-- but--" Rainbow stuttered.
"Oh, just get in." Rarity practically picked Rainbow up and tossed her into the tub, turning on the tap before she could complain. In seconds, Rainbow was soaked. She looked like an angry cat, crouching and preparing to pounce.
"I can't believe you." Rainbow muttered through clenched teeth.
"Cheer up, you." Rarity grinned, squirting a copious amount of green, sweet-smelling goo into her hoof.
"What the hay is that stuff?" Rainbow asked, cringing at the sight of the goop.
"Shampoo. It smells like watermelon, and it'll give your mane and tail volume." Rarity rubbed her front hooves together, spreading the gelatin all over them. "Just sit still and, soon enough, you'll look like a goddess. And smell like a fruit basket!"
"Awesome..." Rainbow murmured. At this point, all she could do was stand there and take.
So she stood there. And she took what felt like a thousand washes, followed by several facial creams and some kind of rock that Rarity used to sand the bottoms of her hooves (which took some doing. Rainbow was struggling so much, though, that she slipped and knocked herself out. Not unconscious, but out of it enough that all she did was giggle drunkenly when Rarity scrubbed the grime out of her hooves.).
At long last, Rarity stood back, wiping her forehead and beaming at her work.
Rainbow shook herself dry, much like a dog would shake off mud. "Er.. thanks for that. Guess I'll be leaving, then!"
"Ah, ah, ah!" Rarity scolded, grabbing Rainbow's tail with her magic. "Not finished yet. In order for your mane and tail to stay this lovely over night, you're going to need it styled properly."
Rainbow flopped onto the rug on the tile floor, completely relenting. "You can't be serious! How do you do this to yourself? Like, all the time?!" Rainbow was completely exasperated.
Rarity just tittered. "Come on. Let's sit you down and get this mane and tail brushed out."
"Ugh..." Rainbow drug herself to the couch, sitting in a vulture-like position as she awaited Rarity's return.
"Here we are! Let's dry that hair!" Rarity pulled out a hairdryer with so many bells and whistles it looked like some kind of futuristic weapon.
Rainbow sighed deeply, waiting for the machine to start running.
A jet stream of hot air slammed into the back of Rainbow's head, making her fall forward into the arm of the couch. She shrieked in surprise, and scrambled away from the wind tunnel. "Dear Celestia! What the hay--"
"Hush, you. You've dealt with worse, quit being a drama queen."
Rainbow scoffed. "You should talk."
Rarity, completely emotionless, directed the hot air right at Rainbow's face. She screamed again. "Okay, okay!"
Rarity laughed. "You deserved it. Now, stop squirming! It's quite nice if you'd just sit still!"
Rainbow growled, but sat as still as she could while Rarity blow-dried her mane and tail. She then grabbed a soft-bristle brush and proceeded to tug knots out of her mane.
"Darling, these split ends are atrocious!" she exclaimed. "You need a trim. Or, perhaps, just some aquanet."
"I... have no idea what you're saying." Rainbow admitted.
"I kind of thought so." Rarity gave another few tugs. "You know, why don't you try doing this yourself?"
"Uh..." Rainbow suddenly had the brush in her hoof, and Rarity skittered off to dig for Celestia-knows-what.
Rainbow stared at the brush like it was a foreign object (though she knew perfectly well what to do with it, as anypony in their right mind would), then proceeded to pull it slowly through her tangled mane. As she did so, Rarity dashed back and forth across the Boutique, gathering various items and tossing them into a pile near the couch.
After a while of this, Rarity sat down next to Rainbow, panting a bit from the effort. "Alright. How've you done. Oh!" Rarity reached out to gingerly caress Rainbow's mane. "Oh, Rainbow Dash, your mane is lovely!"
"It is?" Rainbow felt it herself. "I don't get it."
"Oh, never you mind. Just let me braid it for you." Rarity's magic grabbed at Rainbow's mane, pulling it into three different-colored pieces and proceeding to knot it into strange shapes.
"What are you doing? How am I supposed to get it out?" Rainbow asked, a bit panicked.
"Oh, Rainbow. You muscly idiot. When you say things like that, it makes it all worth it," Rarity commented, almost nostalgically.
"Makes what worth it?" Rainbow asked, gritting her teeth through the harsh tugs.
"Friendship. I don't know if you've noticed, but we're complete and utter opposites."
Rainbow considered that. "I guess so. It was kinda like... I dunno, forced friendship at the beginning. But by the time we were done, we were so close that it didn't make sense to break ourselves up."
Rarity nodded, but was silent. After a minute or two, she spoke up. "Done! Oh, you look gorgeous! Go look in the mirror!"
Rainbow stood up, trotting to the next room to look at herself.
The pony she saw was barely recognizable as the one who first walked in. Rainbow's mane and tail were, at last, put together into neat braids. Her forelock was was silk, flowing down her forehead like a waterfall. Her face was clear, free of blemishes and other stains. Her eyes, a beautiful magenta, were finally noticeable beyond her normally wild hair.
Rarity appeared beside her, giggling maniacally with glee. "Do you love it, or what?"
"Uh... gee, it's great, Rare..." Rainbow commented halfheartedly, captivated by her own reflection.
"Oh, I know you love it. You can't stop staring, for Celestia's sake!" Rarity poked Rainbow playfully in the shoulder. "We'll talk again tomorrow, but the clock says it's time for beauty sleep." As if to prove it, Rarity yawned.
"Wait! You haven't told me how to act or anything yet!" Rainbow interjected as Rarity pushed her to the door.
"We'll do that tomorrow, I promise. I won't let you down!" Rarity slammed the door behind Rainbow, who was left in a stunned confusion just outside.
As she stared up at the stars, many questions came to mind. The biggest one, though, was What the buck is happening to my life?
~~~~~
Rainbow rolled out of bed, yawning and stretching like she would any other old morning. Right now, the events of the night before were only a hazy memory (as our minds often fool us like this), and she trotted to the kitchen, smacking her lips greedily while she browsed the cabinets.
As she poured a bowl of sugar cereal, the names of her friends having barely entered her mind, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the glass of the window.
Thoughts of the previous night hit her like a brick wall, and she dropped the box of cereal in her shock.
"How could I forget?" she murmured to herself, rushing to the mirror to inspect her image. "Oh, man..."
As if on cue, a sweet voice yelled up to her from the ground below. "Rainbow Dash!"
"Oh, Celestia..." Rainbow held her head, nervously glancing about, trying to think of a way out of this. Of course, if she wanted her wings, there would be no way out.
"Rainbow! Come out, darling!" Rarity yelled, still sweet.
Rainbow was starting to panic, memories closing in on her and quickening her heart. "Uh..." She made her way to the front window, looking down at the mare calling on her.
Rarity stood below, tapping her foot impatiently until she spotted Rainbow's face. "Rainbow! Come on, dear, time to get to work!"
Rainbow zipped out the door, landing forcefully beside the unicorn. "Would you be quiet?" she hissed, "I don't want all of Ponyville hearing you!"
"Still embarrassed? That's okay, we'll fix you right up." Rarity gave Rainbow a condescending pat on the head, then lead her back to the Boutique.
Rainbow was unusually shy as she trotted behind Rarity. She kept her head low, trying not to attract attention to her... different mane style.
The two ponies successful made it to the Boutique without incident, whereupon Rarity practically shoved her down into the couch before (somehow, between last night and this morning, Rarity had cleaned it of cat hairs entirely).
"Now, you stay there. And don't fool with your mane!" she yelled, trotting off to fetch thousands more supplies.
Rainbow batted at the strange form that hung off the back of her head, and it swung back and forth monotonously. It felt rather like a dragon's tail-- just a lump of useless nothing that usually only moved under gravity's power. In fact, Rainbow herself rather felt like that. Useless, just being batted around by fate and chance.
Or, rather, Discord.
"So, then..." Rarity returned, dumping all of her make-over products on an end table beside me. "Where should we start?"
"I thought you were the expert."
"No, no, you misunderstand. I meant... well, do you have a preference?" Rarity was soft, almost as though she was concerned about embarrassing Rainbow... while they were alone.
"Uh..."
"Of our friends!" Rarity added, exasperated.
"Oh!" Rainbow was relieved initially, then realized what was being asked. "Oh..." she muttered disgustedly.
"I guess that's hard, hm?" Rarity gently pulled apart the complex knots on my head. "Well, have you ever had a crush on one of them? That'd be a good place to start."
Rainbow thought. "No."
"Never had a crush on them?" Rarity confirmed.
"Never had a crush... period." Rainbow drooped a bit.
Rarity kept at the braid, quietly, waiting for the next question. She had had this conversation too many times to count.
"Wait.. what does a crush feel like?" Rainbow finally asked.
Rarity chuckled to herself. "It's kind of like being punched, I guess. It's very sudden, whenever you see them or think about them. It's like a little ache in your stomach, but... it feels good, somehow. Does that make sense?"
"Um..." Rainbow tapped her chin thoughtfully. "No."
"Then, you're right. You've never had a crush." Rarity grabbed a brush and began to gingerly move it through Rainbow's mane. "So, who should you tackle first, then?"
"Er... Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow suggested, very unsure of herself.
"Why her?" Rarity asked.
Rainbow spluttered a bit, frustrated with Rarity's demanding nature. "I don't know! She was the first one who came to mind! Man, does everything have to be this deep emotional study?"
"Sorry, sorry." Rarity grabbed a small clip, arranging it just so in Rainbow's forelock. It held back her bright hair, showing off the unique hue in her eyes.
Rainbow was starting to get antsy, but she tried to stay still and just tap her hoof. "I mean... can you see us? Like... together?"
Rarity thought about that. Rainbow Dash, the super-hyper athlete, plus Pinkie Pie, the super-hyper... everything...
"Never mind! Don't answer that, please..." Rainbow said upon hearing the pause.
"Oh, I don't believe you. The great Rainbow Dash, afraid of a little date? You've tackled much harder things than this!" Rarity gave Rainbow a few little pats on the head.
Rainbow made a small sound of worry. "I don't know..."
"Come, now! Nightmare Moon? Spirit of Chaos? God of the dead?" Rarity tittered, waving her hoof dismissively. "You can handle this, dear. I promise you."
Rainbow made the little sound again, shrinking even smaller, only to be cut off by a tight hug around the shoulders.
"You're going to be fine. Just be yourself. That's why we like you, after all!" Rarity eased off on the squeeze. "Plus, would you really want to spend your life pretending to be somepony you weren't?"
Rainbow nodded hesitantly. "Wait, are you serious? I should just... be normal?"
"Well, everypony has a 'normal' them and a 'date' them. Marefriend you should be a little more... accepting. Listen, and don't try to outdo somepony's bad day. Or good day, for that matter. The most important thing is to listen to their stories or concerns, then try to tell them what they want to hear." Rarity prodded at Rainbow's mane, making it just so before she admired her work. "Of course, a little bit of a make-over doesn't hurt!"
"Am I done?" Rainbow asked. She couldn't help but be a little excited. She was a mare, after all.
Rarity giggled, almost maniacally. "Yes! Come and look! There's a full-length mirror in my workroom."
Rainbow followed, slightly eager but keeping a blase look on her face.
Before they could reach the mirror, however, there was a ring at the door.
"Oh-- erm, I'll be right back. Go on, take a look!" Rarity buzzed off to fetch her customer.
Rainbow gazed at her image in the mirror. Her mane was glossy and draped about her shoulders like a cloak, instead of the normally frizzy and greasy rat's nest. Rarity had added a tiny silver pin to her natural look, tucking her forelock back just enough to expose her eyes.
"Hiya, Rarity!" screamed a familiar voice.
Normally, that voice would have excited Rainbow. It meant another chance to hang out with a great prankster.
But, now...
"Hello, Pinkie Pie," Rarity replied, already sounding slightly exasperated. "What is it you needed?"
Rainbow was starting to breathe quicker again, and she began to search for a hiding spot in her panic.
"Well..." Pinkie said, preparing for a long-winded speech. "I was out early this morning taking Gummy for a walk by Froggy-Bottom Bog, but I got lost and started running around screaming real loud like 'HELP! I'M LOST!' when I saw Rainbow Dash's house drifting around above the trees and I was like 'ohmygosh, me, that's totally Rainbow's place! I can just follow that out of the forest easy-peasy and be back to Ponyville in no time times two!' and then I was like 'wow, me! You're a genius!'"
Rainbow, blocking out Pinkie's explanation, squeezed herself between two stationary mannequins.
Pinkie took a deep breath. "So then I ran towards Rainbow's amazing floating cloud house and got out of the woods! But then I saw you and Rainbow leaving together and was like 'they're totally hanging out without me! I need to go see what they're doing!' and then I was like 'me, you've done it again!'"
"I see. Well--" Rarity attempted to cut it off there, but she went on.
"But on the way, I saw this amazing balloon pony stand and was like 'if there's a party, there's gotta be balloons!' But then I didn't have any bits, so I ran home to get some and brought them back a got like a TRILLION balloon ponies for our party!'" Pinkie seemed finished now.
"Erm... where are they?" Rarity asked.
"There was a freak accident with Pokey Pierce..." Pinkie pronounced 'freak' as two syllables.
Rarity was silent for a moment. Then, with that devilish match-making tone in her voice, "Well, Rainbow's in my sewing room, dear."
"Great!"
Rainbow heard Pinkie's gleeful bounces approaching, but realized there was no escape. She now had twenty-nine days, and she could not waste a single one being a chicken.
In another second, the pink pony's face appeared at the door. She was grinning impossibly wide, her mane bouncing and wobbling. It was almost like it was made from gelatin, though it appeared as cotton candy. Her eyes sparkled with mischief, ready to unleash a storm upon Ponyville. "Heya, Rainbow Dash! What's up? Why're you hiding there?"
Rainbow gulped audibly. "Uh... no reason. Just... looking at... you know, stuff..."
Pinkie scoffed dramatically. "Well, stop doing that! Let's go have some fun! Unless you're looking at bugs. Bugs are so cool!" She snorted with laughter. "Are you looking at bugs?"
"Uh..." Rainbow was paralyzed.
Pinkie chuckled again. "Of course not! Rarity would never let bugs into her sewing room! So, you ready to go?"
"Er..."
"Come on! Quit staring, silly! Let's go! Vamos! Allons-y! Við skulum fara!" Pinkie blathered, bounding towards the door like a rabbit on caffeine.
Rainbow, in a stunned silence, wandered after her.
"Good luck!" Rarity whispered to her.
Rainbow did not notice.
This was the second date with one of her closest friends... in two freaking days.
"So, what should we do, Rainbow? You wanna prank somepony? Ooh! Ooh! Wanna prank Applejack?" Pinkie suggested, bouncing backwards so that she could converse with me.
"Um... how about we get some ice cream?" Rainbow winced, waiting to be shot down by the incredibly excitable pony.
"Sounds great! Where should we go? Loopy Scoops?" Pinkie smiled, closing her eyes.
"Could you face front, please? You're freaking me out. You're gonna bump into somepony!" Rainbow scolded. She was already embarrassed enough by this date. She didn't need Pinkie to send somepony to the hospital.
Pinkie giggled. "Yeah, right! I'm a great backwards-bouncer! I've never hit another pony in my life! Watch this!"
Pinkie tempted fate by waving through the crowd backwards, being as reckless as possible and drawing tons of attention to herself. She ended with a backwards skip into Loopy Scoops, where she opened her eyes once more. "See? Told you!"
Rainbow rubbed the back of her head awkwardly, not sure what to do or say. Any other day, she would have laughed and made some kind of not-so-clever remark about her randomness. But... this was a date. Right?
Pinkie guffawed. "Whatcha staring at, Goofy? Let's eat some ice cream!"
"Duhm... sure thing, Pinks..." Rainbow muttered, sporting a not-too-bright look on her face.
Simply referring to an outing as a 'date' seemed to change the whole atmosphere, and even the way you looked at the other pony. Rainbow just stared at Pinkie as they took their seats, noticing small things she never would have before. Even though Pinkie was like her in many ways, she was actually pretty polite. She did not touch her face, or break eye contact with Rainbow for more than a few moments at a time. Rainbow even took note of her quick grab at the napkin dispenser before the cones arrived. She may have been a messy eater, but she would not be a mess when she left.
Rainbow watched in silence as Pinkie ran to the case of flavors, staring down at the varied colors and textures of ice creams. Her fluffy pink tail swayed back and forth gently, then faster as she zeroed in on the flavor she desired.
Rainbow slowly came forward, standing next to Pinkie and watching the stallion scoop through the pulsating fog on the surface of the glass.
"And you?" The stallion turned to me, very cheerful. He was the real Loopy Scoops behind the establishment, and, as his name tag proclaimed proudly, a 'frozen treat connoisseur.'
"Erm..." Rainbow gazed at the canisters behind the glass. The first one the caught her eye was entitled 'birthday cake,' and was filled with multicolored chunks of cake and icing. Right beside it was a bright white vanilla with an indigo swirl of blueberry. Surrounding these two were more colorful flavors; pink-ish cotton candy, some kind of apple-cobbler flavor, a yellow-y lemon, and a strange ice cream that proclaimed it was 'lavender flavored.'
"You can mix two, if you want!" Mister Scoops suggested.
Rainbow continued considering. There was a beep in the back room, which seemed to be alerting Mister Scoops to some kind of cooking project's completion.
"Give me about thirty minutes, would ya? I'll be back!" He rushed off, leaving ice-cream-less.
Pinkie was suddenly at her side again, cone already gone. "Hey! Where's your icy-cream-cream?" she asked, adding more syllables than necessary in her signature style.
"Loopy ran off. Where's your ice cream?" Rainbow asked, nearly repeating Pinkie's made-up words.
Pinkie said nothing, just opened her mouth wide and shoved it in Rainbow's face.
Rainbow was shocked, jumping back a bit. Pinkie's breath smelled like bubblegum.
She closed her mouth, moving back an imperceptible amount. "I ate it, silly! Where'd you think it went?"
Rainbow said nothing. She was stared at the ground, glancing back up for only a fraction of a second at a time. This whole 'flirting' thing was tougher than it seemed.
"Uh... your breath smells like bubblegum?" she tried, wincing a bit.
Pinkie laughed. "You're the best, Rainbow! So funny!" She grabbed Rainbow around the waist and lifted her into the air in a tight embrace.
Instead of just dealing with it, like she would any other day, she actually caught a few couples staring wistfully at the pair of them.
She laughed awkwardly, struggling against Pinkie's grip. "Could you... um, put me down, please?"
Pinkie released her, giggling almost maniacally. "What are we going to do next?"
"Er... how about you pick this time, Pinks?"
Pinkie chuckled lightly. "I like it when you call me 'Pinks.'"
Rainbow could feel her chest starting to tighten. Was that a flirt? Or just a comment? Should she treat it a s a flirt? Laugh it off? Call her that again? Try a new nickname?
"Yeah..." was what she would up saying.
Pinkie stopped in her tracks. "Ohmygosh LET'S DO THAT!" Pinkie shouted, jabbing her hoof wildly at some new shopfront down the street. As soon as Rainbow had gotten her calmed down enough to read the sign, she was disappointed in the choice.
"'Old Timey Photo Shoot?' That sounds..." Rainbow looked at Pinkie, whose smile seemed to have faded just a tiny bit. "Uh... great!"
Pinkie snorted. "You don't have to fake it for me, silly!" She mussed Rainbow's hair, noticing that it had a pin in it for the first time. "Hey. Did you do your mane?"
Rainbow whined sheepishly.
"It's pretty! I can see your eyes now!" Pinkie said cheerfully, brushing her forelock down again. "There! All fixed!"
Rainbow was silent.
"Did you do that yourself?" Pinkie asked, still cheerful and trying to fill the uncomfortable silence.
Rainbow sighed, stroking her mane back into its original shape. "No... Rarity did it for me."
Pinkie's cheerfulness slowly faded into a look of puzzlement. She was trying to put the pieces together.
Rainbow was ready to distract her with balloons or something, when she found her voice.
"Why?"
"Oh, boy..." Rainbow trailed off.
"Wait, wait..." Pinkie held a hoof up to Rainbow's mouth. After thinking for a moment, she glanced over slyly.
Rainbow's ears flattened.
Pinkie's smile returned, this time gappy and... kind of adorable. "You owe somepony money and you want to borrow from me!"
I pushed her hoof out of the way. "What the hell, Pinkie? This is supposed to be a date!" Rainbow screamed at her. "Oh... oops..."
Pinkie's jaw dropped practically to the sidewalk. After pretending to pick it up, she continued to stare.
"Heh, heh..." Rainbow shied back from Pinkie's wide-eyed gaze, quailing like Fluttershy.
"So you..." Pinkie truly connected the dots this time, "you've been planning this?"
"Well..." Rainbow's voice broke after reaching its maximum pitch.
Pinkie closed her mouth, looking off down the street. Rainbow did the same, wondering what she had done to her friend. Would she be hurt? Or just confused?
Pinkie suddenly turned over, keeping her eyes fixed in the difference, and planted a tiny kiss on Rainbow's cheek. The touch made an almost electric warmth spread through her. She played it cool, looking around like nothing happened and tapping her hoof quickly to let the energy out.
"Do you... wanna go someplace nicer?" Pinkie asked, back to smiling.
"Nicer than middle of the sidewalk? I'm down," Rainbow agreed.
"Great! I know this really nice bench that's in this great spot under a tree and when the wind blows the right way you can smell the wild strawberries from the Everfree! And it's far enough from the town so you can see the stars, and the tree is a willow tree so there's butterflies and..." Pinkie's voice faded away as she bounded down the street.
Rainbow Dash herself felt lighter than a feather. Her hooves seemed to barely touch the ground as she followed the buoyant pony down the street. Pinkie's mane swayed forward and backward as she bounced, and Rainbow's mane was caught in the wind, its once delicately molded style being whipped back into its natural state.
The mares eventually reached the spot pinkie had been yammering about. It had a very nice, wooden bench with wrought iron arm rests and a matching plaque nailed to the back. The words had long since been rubbed away, but a pleasant design remained embossed as a frame. The tree that leaned over it was indeed a willow tree, with thin, almost rope-like branches that swayed in even the smallest breeze. Small, fluffy clumps of pollen floated down around the bench, creating a scene right out of a romantic novel.
Not that Rainbow Dash would know that.
Not that Rainbow would know... anything about romantic scenarios.
Pinkie made herself comfortable on the bench, then patted the wood next to her for Rainbow to sit beside her.
"Uh... Pinkie, I hate to ruin the moment, but you realize that there won't be stars out for another... like, seven hours, right?" Rainbow reminded her friend. Marefriend? How were you supposed to know, anyway?
Pinkie scoffed. "Eh. So, what should we talk about?"
"Er..." Rainbow rubbed her hooves on her thighs nervously.
There was a long silence. In reality, it was probably less than a minute, but it felt like ten slow hours.
Pinkie was so good at talking! Why didn't she just... just talk, for Celestia's sake!
As they sat still, the muggy summer weather started to make Rainbow sweat. She could feel a stripe of sweat gathering on her upper lip, as well as around her hairline. In fact, she was kind of sweating everywhere...
"It's, uh... it's warmer than I thought it would be..." she commented, tucking her hooves into her armpits, hoping to mask her nervousness.
Pinkie nodded. "You know, this one time I was in the desert, and... it was... it was hot there, too..." Pinkie's energetic beginning petered out quickly, and she shuffled her hooves against the wood slats on the bench's seat.
It was rather impressive, really, how quickly Equestria's most energetic ponies lost all stamina.
It is also important to point out that the walk to the bench only took a few minutes.
Turns out being close to the object of your affections, however forced those feelings may be, is a lot worse in practice than it is in your head.
And so the moments dragged on, both ponies finding cliched excuses not to speak to their company such as throat clearing and fake coughing or sneezing.
"You wanna..." Rainbow's suggestion caught in her throat.
Pinkie did not make eye contact, but she relaxed against the back of the bench. "Hm?"
"I mean, like... should we--" she was cut off again by a timely voice crack. "Do... a thing?"
Pinkie finally looked over. "A thing that... that ponies do?"
It helped that each was as awkward as the other, but the conversation was getting no where fast.
Rainbow leaned over slowly, her eyes closed tightly in fear of rejection. When her lips slid gently across the microscopic hairs around her friend's mouth, she prickled, her back seizing up for a moment and halting her progression. Pinkie's lips were closed, but not forcefully, so that the kiss only went as far as this gentle touch.
But it was still something that Rainbow had never felt before.
And, to her surprise... she liked it.
The moment ended quickly, but the two sat there for a while longer, just staring. They didn't touch each other, they just sat rigidly, watching the sun crawl across the sky.
Eventually, the two split up, with very few words exchanged. Frankly, it was hard to know what had happened between the two, and Rainbow was only feeling confused about their relationship now. Friends? Friends with benefits? Dating?
Naturally, rainbow went straight to Rarity's for a discussion about the events of the day.
She knocked softly on the door, hearing Rarity's sweet voice call back to her. "Coming!"
She opened the door, swinging her mane behind her ear. "Oh! Rainbow! It's... it's only been two hours. How did it go?"
Rainbow made a small pained noise, and trotted over to Rarity's couch, throwing herself across it and just laying there, breathing heavily around through the thick fabric.
"Oh, dear." Rarity rushed to her side. "What's wrong? What happened?"
Rainbow rolled over, staring out at Rarity. "I don't even know! I'm so confused, Rarity!"
Rarity made herself a spot pn the floor next to Rainbow's head, using her magic to flip the 'welcome' sign to 'closed.' "Tell me all about it."
"Well... well, at first, I was too chicken to tell her it was a date! So we went to an ice cream place, but we left early 'cause the owner was busy... so then we saw this old time photo shoot and Pinkie wanted to do it, but I didn't, but it was still technically a date so I said yes, but she thought that was weird of me... so then she noticed that my mane was done up, and tried to put the pieces together, only she guessed wrong! So I told her right, and then we went and sat awkwardly on a bench for, like, an hour and a half but then we kissed..." Rainbow sunk back into the cushion. "I just don't know what to think..."
"Well, how do you feel? Honestly, Rainbow, you're letting this... whatever this is change you too much. First off, I only ever need to tell Fluttershy to be assertive and speak her mind, but even then, not around her friends! Plus, aren't you the pony who thinks with her gut? I mean, Twilight's the one who needs to feel instead of think." Rarity sighed gently. "Look, I want you to try something. Just... close your eyes and think about how you're feeling."
"I feel like I've been punched in the gut, then slapped across the face," Rainbow quipped into the soft fabric.
"Good. Now, how were you feeling when you kissed Pinkie? A sentence I never thought I'd say in a million years..." she added in a mutter.
"Well... well, I... I don't know. Warm? I mean, it was around two hundred percent humidity, so--" Rainbow rolled over to face Rarity again. "I mean, I was sweating like a pig."
"No, Rainbow. What did it feel like? Right here." She tapped my lips gently.
Rainbow squirmed uncomfortably. "Like when I put a butter knife in the toaster because the toast got wedged inside?"
"Electric?" Rarity asked.
Rainbow shrugged. "I guess... Only it was kind of like... like being scared. My back got all tingly and stuff..."
Rarity grinned a bit.
"What?" Rainbow demanded.
"Oh, you're so cute!" Rarity grabbed her friend around the shoulders, squeezing as tight as she could. "You're in love, darling!" She giggled maniacally, lifting Rainbow out of her seat with the squeeze.
"Uh... well, I wouldn't take it that far..." Rainbow squeaked.
Rarity set her down. "Where are you taking her next time?" she asked hurriedly.
"Ugh!" Rainbow flopped over on her, then rolled off the couch onto the floor. "I can't handle this pressure! Can't you help me out, Rares?"
"Ooh! You should take her to see a movie! The best movies would be romances, obviously, whether that be rom coms or tragedy... either that, or horror. Brings you together through fear. All depends on whether you want to be serious or relaxed." She gave Rainbow a closer look. "Relaxed. Definitely relaxed."
"I have no idea what you're saying!" Rainbow yelled, waving her hooves in the air dramatically.
"It's fine. I'll handle it." Rarity stroked Rainbow's mane, trying to get it to lay flat once more. She licked her hoof, trying frustratingly to bring it back to its original glory. She gave up soon after, but it left Rainbow's mussed mane smelling like vanilla.
"You smell like vanilla," Rainbow commented.
Rarity was thrown by this comment. "Thank you?"
"It's nice. You know, Pinkie smells like bubblegum. " And she looks like bubblegum. And she tastes like bubblegum...
Rarity giggled. "So adorable..." she muttered.
"Quit calling me cute!" Rainbow demanded.
She giggled again. "Ooh, I can't help it! Anypony's cute when they're in love!"
Rainbow growled in response.
"You know what? Let me make you lunch. How about some tea and cucumber sandwiches?" she suggested, not waiting for a reply to rush off.
Rainbow looked around the room, trying to find something to occupy herself. The energy was catching up to her, all the wasted adrenaline building up. She licked her lips anxiously, thinking about kissing Pinkie. She wasn't sure if she wanted to do it again, she wasn't even really sure if she liked it. She just knew that she couldn't make the tingling on her lips go away.
Soon enough, she found herself worrying about something completely new to her.
Was she a good kisser? Did she know what to do... you know, after they kissed?
What would she do if they kissed again?
"Hey... Rarity?" Rainbow called into the kitchen.
"Yes?"
"Rarity? How... how do you kiss somepony?" she asked. Her shame was gone by now, at least around her. They past twelve hours alone had created a new kind of trust between the two of them.
Rarity's head poked out of the kitchen to stare at her friend. After slipping back out of view, she replied "Well, any way you want to, dear."
"I mean... how do you do it. Can you explain to me?"
Rarity was silent for a bit. "It really depends on the pony, I suppose. If it's somepony tough," her face appeared again, "like you, for example, start out hard. If it's someone like Fluttershy, be as gentle and quick as possible, and give her the chance to lead."
These words made little to no impact on Rainbow. "What?"
Rarity sighed. "Look, you'll do fine. Kissing is natural, and you shouldn't be afraid of doing it wrong. It's basically impossible."
"But--" Rainbow staomped her hoof like frustrated filly. "But how do you do it? You're the best, you get all the stallions! Also mares... and sometimes animals, like those diamond dogs... I swear, they wanted more than your gem finding abilities, Rare."
"Well, it's not so much about that..." Rarity muttered. She gave her mane a flip, begging Rainbow to notice her style over her ability to make out.
"Yes, it is!" Rainbow cried out.
Rarity sighed. "Look, don't worry about kissing her if you feel uncomfortable. Just... let her take the lead and make the first move."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. And please, for my sake, don't make any lewd comments. Don't mention sex, or tell your side of the diamond dog story--"
Rainbow scoffed. "Oh, please."
"No cursing, no whining, no trying to be street, no drama, no bashing musicals, no competing. Honestly, I probably should've told you all of this before the first date, but seeing as you neglected to mention it until halfway through, then didn't say another word, I guess--"
"What about her made-up words? You know how often she makes up words... " Rainbow shuffled her hooves. "How should I respond?"
Rarity put down the various ingredients she had been holding, shooing me back towards the couch. "Look,. let's practice, okay? I'll be Pinkie Pie, you be you."
"Wait, what?"
"We're doing a practice second date. Sit down on the couch." She grabbed a chair, dragging it over to face Rainbow. She then cleared her throat, putting on a fake high voice to mimic Pinkie's. "So what's up, Rainbow Dash?"
"Uh... nothin'..." Rainbow muttered.
Rarity went back to normal. "Awful! Always try to say something, even if you have to make something up. When somepony asks you a vague question like that, it's because they can't think of a topic of conversation!"
"Oh... well, I... just had my mane done..." Rainbow swatted half-heartedly at a green lock of hair.
"Wow! That's super! I don't have to do my mane, it's always like this!" Rarity swung her head around, pretending that she had pink clouds attached to her forehead.
"Really? That's interesting... has it always been like that?" Rainbow groped for something to continue the conversation. She wanted to impress Rarity, get her off her back about this dating nonsense.
"You bet! I'd say that it runs in the family, but... you know... it doesn't!" Rarity imitated Pinkie's laughter, even adding in a snort.
Rainbow nodded. "Um... this food is pretty good, huh? Almost warrants a made-up word," she prompted.
"Oh, I love... fibloting skittles-- wittles... in a scooda," Rarity struggled to make up a series of bizzare words.
Rainbow was thrown. "What the--"
Rarity gave Rainbow a harsh look, warning against cursing.
"... hay, Rarity? I mean-- Pinkie?"
Rarity laughed again. "Wittles are... skittles that I... dip... in... cake batter!"
Rainbow laughed. "What? That sounds gross!"
"Then I fry them by, um... fibloting a spatula! That means dipping it in boiling water a then pressing it on the... thing!" Rarity waved her hooves in the air.
Rainbow laughed harder. "Then what's a scooda?"
"It's a... fancy... frying pan thing! It's got little patterns on it, like a... cattle brander!" Rarity giggled, her voice returning to normal. "You're fine. All Pinkie wants is to make you laugh. But, then, you knew that."
Rainbow's laugh faded. "You think so?"
"Of course! You've got nothing to worry about!" Rarity waved it off. "Now, stop worrying about it and let me make you soem food. You can go on your next date tomorrow."
"Yes, mom," Rainbow mocked, but she relaxed at last. She had this totally under control. She just had to go on one more date... then it would be in the bag. She knew that Pinkie was her best match out of the five... right?
There was soft knock on the door. Rainbow was reclining on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling and daydreaming about where this might go.
"Coming!" Rarity yelled, rushing to the door.
There was a hushed conversation at the door. Rainbow was practically asleep on the couch, but she felt a presence hanging above her and snuck a peek through a crack between her eyelids.
Pinkie Pie stood there, staring down at Rainbow with an indecipherable look on her face. "I wanna break up."
Rainbow sat up. "Wait, what? What are you doing here?"
Pinkie giggled. "Silly. I always know where my friends are. Anyway, it's super weird to be dating you, so... except play dates... or, like, prank dates? But, yeah..."
Rainbow just stared up at Pinkie's face as she tried to think of another exception. "Er... nope! That's it! Well, see ya tomorrow!"
Rarity let Pinkie out, then peered around the corner at Rainbow. She was stunned, but not really upset.
"So... who's next on your list?"