The SweetieMash Chronicles
Chapter 13: Crime and Detention
Quiet. The classroom was quiet. Although the four foals present were normally noisy and rambunctious, each had occupied themselves with a silent activity. Usually there’d only be one other adult present, Ms. Cheerilee. However, today was different. Detention was different. All because Cheerilee had asked, or blackmailed might be a more accurate term, an adult to attend.
Quiet. The quiet gave Cheerilee time to dwell on the punishment she had given out for a few of her students and one of their parents for blowing a hole in the school, or rather the new punishment after her first attempts at discipline ended up being surprisingly light.
I can’t believe they all fixed the hole so quickly this morning! Cheerilee thought to herself. I mean… sure I’m pleased that somehow a song and a bit of cooperation was all it took to get the school back to normal before classes even started, but I thought it would take at least a few days working before and after school to fix it up.
Cheerilee considered the idea further and sighed to herself. I had to do something to let them know there’s consequences for their actions, but was it enough? I mean, even if nopony missed any school and we got it fixed, it seems those four are enjoying some increased popularity from the act itself. Cheerilee focused her eyes on the other adult in the room. Love Tap is being considered some sort of ultimate mom…
The other adult present met Cheerilee’s stare with a glower. Cheerilee frowned. Well, whatever reputation she’s gained through the children doesn’t seem to make up for her being here at the moment. We’ve barely started and she’s giving me a stare like she’s been forced to come here for days. Uhg… I hate that look… I took this job to teach children, not make them feel bad for misbeha—
Unexpectedly, Love Tap’s expression suddenly shifted. “Ms. Cheerilee?” she cried in a whiny tone. “I need to go to the bathroom.”
All the children looked up from their activities. As soon as Love Tap had broken it, silence had rushed to fill the vacuum her words had caused in the quiet.
Quiet. Not the calm quiet of tranquility, but the calm before the storm. A tense calm where everypony understood that the worst was yet to come.
Cheerilee narrowed her eyes. “I told everypony to go before we started!”
“But I didn’t need to go then!” Love Tap whined out.
Cheerilee’s eyes narrowed even further. “Don’t think for a moment I don’t know what you’re trying to do here.”
Love Tap looked back at Cheerilee with an innocent expression. “Trying not to wet myself?” she suggested as she crossed her back legs and squeezed them tightly together.
The children all giggled.
Cheerilee shot the foals a stern look that quickly quieted them. She scowled at Love Tap and pointed a forehoof out towards a door near the front of the classroom. “Go! And be quick about it!”
“Thanks, Ms. Cheerilee!” Love Tap cried as practically sprung from her desk and galloped towards the door.
“And stop calling me ‘Ms. Cheerilee’!” Cheerilee called out.
Love Tap quickly bolted towards the bathroom, entered and closed the door shut with a ‘SLAM!’
Cheerilee sighed and shook her head. I had hoped Love Tap would patiently wait out detention, but she seems dead set on making this an uncomfortable experience for the both of us! At first it looked like smooth sailing when she made all the kids pick out a quiet activity to pass the time. She even got Scootaloo to start on her homework, and Scootaloo almost never does anything but pout or make trouble when she’s in detention… I didn’t realize Love Tap was just arranging to pick up Scootaloo’s bad habits and then some.
‘SLAM!’
Cheerilee jumped slightly as the bathroom door swung open forcefully. She turned. “Would you stop slamming the door?!” she snapped at Love Tap.
“Sorry, Ms. Cheerilee…” Love Tap said sheepishly.
“AND STOP CALLING ME— Wait… what are you doing now?”
Cheerilee looked into the bathroom as Love Tap turned on the sink and began washing her hooves.
“Uh… washing my hooves?” Love Tap replied in a slightly confused tone. “I mean… it’s kind of obvious, isn’t it?”
The children giggled again and quickly stopped as Cheerilee shot them an irritated glance.
Cheerilee turned back to Love Tap once more. “Why would you do that after you opened the bathroom door?!” Cheerilee cried in a somewhat demanding tone, her voice becoming increasingly frustrated with each sentence.
“Because I just opened the door!”
“Why should that matter?!”
“Because I don’t know if everypony here washes their hooves after using the bathroom!”
“I know I don’t,” Scootaloo said.
“Ewwww!” Sweetie Belle cried.
“Scootaloo! Now that’s just unhygienic!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.
“What?!” Scootaloo protested. “I mean, I have to walk on my hooves after I leave the bathroom anyway! If anypony else didn’t wash their hooves, my hooves immediately get dirty anyhow! I mean, if you think about it, the there’s probably a little bit of pony poo everywhere we walk, anyway.”
The room went quiet again. Quiet. An uneasy quiet of young foals trying to come to terms with the harsh realities of an unforgiving world.
“I think… I think I might throw up…” Button Mash muttered as a slight green hue started to appear on his face.
Sweetie Belle slowly raised her forehooves in front of her face and stared at them in horror.
Scootaloo rolled her eyes and glanced at Apple Bloom. “Why aren’t you freaking out?”
“Ah live on a farm,” Apple Bloom replied with a shrug. “Ah’m used to accidently steppin’ in stuff at home, so it’s not like what other ponies have on their hooves is all that unsettlin’.”
“So you’re tracking your farm filth with you wherever you go?!” Scootaloo exclaimed. She frowned as her eyes widened. “Alright, now I’m squicked out!”
“Hey! At least Ah wash mah hooves!” Apple Bloom protested.
Button’s hoof shoot up. “Ms. Cheerilee? Can I go wash my hooves?”
“Me too!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed as she also raised a forehoof into the air.
Scootaloo shook her head. “It’s no use!” Scootaloo cried as she held her forehooves out in front of her, quickly flinging them above her head. “The floor will still be dirty!”
Button and Sweetie Belle exchanged panicked expressions.
“Ms. Cheerilee,” Sweetie Belle cried out. “Can we mop the classroom?”
“There’s no mopping in detention!” Cheerilee cried out.
Sweetie Belle, Button Mash, and Scootaloo all gave Cheerilee a crestfallen look.
Love Tap snickered to herself.
Cheerilee scowled at her and motioned to the distraught foals in the classroom.
Love Tap looked out into the classroom and frowned as the collateral damage she had caused dawned on her. She cleared her throat. “Children, it’s alright. As long as you all wash your hooves before meals and”—Love Tap focused her gaze on Scootaloo—“after you use the bathroom, you’ll be fine!”
The children’s expressions all visibly relaxed slightly.
Scootaloo sheepishly met Love Taps gaze. “Uh… Right, Ms. Button’s mom, ma’am…”
Love Tap nodded satisfactorily.
Sweetie Belle spoke up. “Okay, well… Can we still wash our hooves?”
Cheerilee sighed. “Fine go ahead. Love Tap, please take your seat.”
Love Tap smiled to herself as Sweetie Belle, Button Mash, and Scootaloo all left their seats and rushed past her for the bathroom. Apple Bloom merely rolled her eyes as she watched the three foals gallop towards the front of the school. All three squeezed into the bathroom, flailing their arms about and pushing each other as they fought for control over the sink.
“Stop pushing!” Sweetie Belle cried.
“Just wait your turn!” Scootaloo shot back.
“Aaaaaah!” Button cried. “Scootaloo touched me! I have Scootaloo germs on me now!”
“I’m trying to fix that!” Scootaloo shot back.
Sweetie Belle scowled at Scootaloo. “This never would have happened if you just washed your hooves!”
“Look, we’ve all been walking around!” Scootaloo said. “I’m sure there are worse things than my germs on all of us.”
Button gasped. “She’s probably right!” He stared at his forehooves. “I’m contaminated! I’M TOO YOUNG TO GO INTO QUARANTINE!”
“CHILDREN!” Cheerilee snapped. “Pipe down! You‘re disturbing everypony else in the classroom!”
“Sorry, Ms. Cheerilee,” the three foals answered in unison.
Love Tap snickered. “Actually, I was enjoying watching the children.”
Apple Bloom nodded. “It’s actually way more entertainin’ than the book I was readin’.”
Cheerilee shot eyes set to ‘kill’ out into the classroom and Love Tap and Apple Bloom went silent.
“Hey!” Button piped up. “Maybe we should wash our hooves together.”
Scootaloo cocked an eyebrow at Button “That… is a really weird idea.”
“But think of all the water we would save!” Button added.
“Uh…pass…” Scootaloo replied.
Button Mash examined Scootaloo with concern. “Scootaloo, do you have intimacy issues?”
“I…WHAT?!”
“No, I think Button’s onto something!” Sweetie Belle declared.
“I do not have… inta-whatever-it-is-that-Button-said issues!” Scootaloo cried.
“No, not that!” Sweetie Belle said. “Maybe we can get our cutie marks in water conservation!” she said excitedly.
Button scrunched his face up in mild confusion. “Uh… yay?”
Apple Bloom’s ears suddenly perked up and she looked over at Ms. Cheerilee. “Ms. Cheerilee, can Ah wash my hooves?”
Cheerilee sighed heavily and brought a forehoof up to her face with an audible ‘Smack!’ and pointed out to the bathroom with the other.
“Thank ya, Ms. Cheerilee!” Apple Bloom said happily as she rushed towards the bathroom.
Scootaloo backed out of the bathroom as Apple Bloom galloped inside. Button Mash stood on his back legs and turned on the tap as he, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom began running their hooves under the water and applying soap.
“Come on, Scootaloo!” Button Mash said with a grin. “The water’s fine!”
Scootaloo shook her head. “You three go ahead, I think I’ll wait rather than be part of your weird group hoof washing cult.”
Cheerilee simply sighed heavily at her desk and scowled out at the tan mare in her classroom who seemed busy trying to stifle a giggle fit.
“Here Button,” Sweetie Belle said as she grabbed the young colt's hoof and began scrubbing it. “You missed a spot.”
“Thanks Sweetie Belle!” Button said enthusiastically.
Love Tap sighed. “And me without my camera…”
“Hey you two,” Apple Bloom called out, “Ah can use a little more soap over here…”
“Would you three hurry it up?” Scootaloo cried. “My hooves are still covered in farm gunk here!”
“Ah’m cleaning up, alright?!” Apple Bloom shot back.
Button turned and smiled. “You can still join us!”
“I’d really rather not…” Scootaloo said.
“Come on Scootaloo!” Button said encouragingly. “Come join us at the friendship sink and let the healing begin!”
“I DON’T HAVE WHATEVER ISSUES!” Scootaloo cried.
Cheerilee’s eye twitched.
“Yer still missing out on a potential cutie mark here,” Apple Bloom pointed out.
Scootaloo pursed her lips slightly. “Alright, fine!” she huffed out as she walked into the bathroom. “Apple Bloom, scoot over.”
“That’s the spirit!” Sweetie Belle said as Scootaloo joined the others at the sink, the four kids now struggling for space as they crowded around the basin.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS WATER CONSERVATIONISTS, YAY!”
Cheerilee gritted her teeth as frustration beginning to raise to boiling. “YOU KIDS ARE NOT GOING TO GET YOUR CUTIE MARKS BY WASHING YOUR HOOVES!” Cheerilee cried.
The four foals turned; the fillies of the group frowned.
Love Tap smirked. “Maybe they can get their cutie marks in hygiene,” she suggested helpfully.
The three fillies smiled once more as Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle went back to washing their hooves.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS HYGIENISTS, YAY!”
“STOP HELP—NOT HELPING THEM!” Cheerilee cried.
The three fillies turned and frowned again.
Button walked away from the sink stared up at the ceiling with a confused expression. “Wait… Who would want a hygiene cutie mark?”
Scootaloo shot Button a scowl as she continued washing her hooves. “Shhhhh… They’ll hear you!”
Button frowned as he dried his hooves on a nearby towel that hung off a bar on the wall. “Uh… Who will hear me, Scootaloo?”
Sweetie Belle turned and said, “The cutie mark Breezies!”
“Uh… That’s a thing?” Button Mash replied.
Apple Bloom turned. “Who do you think passes out cutie marks?”
“I… uh… Didn’t know they were passed out…” Button replied in an unsure tone.
Cheerilee cocked her head slightly as she turned to Love Tap. Love Tap shrugged and shook her head in a ‘wasn’t me’ fashion.
Button tapped a forehoof against his chin as the sounds of running water continued from the bathroom. “What would a hygiene cutie mark even look like?”
“Maybe like a pair of hooves being washed?” Sweetie Belle suggested.
“Huh…” Button replied. “But then it would be like a pair of hooves are always washing your flank…”
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo frowned and ceased washing their hooves.
Sweetie Belle removed her hooves from the sink and gave them a shake. “I no longer want a cutie mark in hygiene,” she announced as she grabbed the towel and dried her hooves.
“Me neither,” Scootaloo said as she also removed her hooves from the sink. Sweetie Belle passed Scootaloo the towel and Scootaloo began drying her hooves.
“Wait!” Apple Bloom cried as she continued to wash her hooves. “Maybe it would be something more abstract! Like… like an hourglass! Ya know… to time how long ye’re supposed to wash up and stuff!”
Scootaloo put the towel back as she, Sweetie Belle, and Button Mash all shot Apple Bloom a confused expression.
Button spoke up, “That makes… no sense…”
“WOULD EVERYPONY JUST SIT DOWN ALREADY?!” Cheerilee cried in frustration.
The four foals all put on worried expressions as they quickly galloped back to their seats. They began fumbling for their items, Apple Bloom still with quite moist hooves.
Love Tap looked over the four flustered foals then turned to Cheerilee with an angry scowl.
Cheerilee winced and sat up from her desk. She quickly rushed over to the bathroom and grabbed the towel, throwing it over her the back of her neck. She trotted over to Apple Bloom’s desk and leaned her head down. “Here Apple Bloom, dry your hooves.”
“Erm… Thanks, Ms. Cheerilee,” Apple Bloom said in an unsure, almost scared tone as she grabbed the towel.
Cheerilee puffed out her lower lip as she trudged back to her desk. I hate yelling at the kids like that… Maybe detention was a bad idea… Maybe I should just call it off for the day… I mean, this is somehow much more stressful than usua—
Cheerilee paused as a sudden thought occurred to her. She turned and glanced at Love Tap briefly as she sat back down.
She’s not… She’s not trying to get me to dismiss detention early, is she? Cheerilee considered this further as she stared up at the ceiling. I thought she was just trying to get under my skin, and I’m sure that’s part of why she’s doing what she’s doing, but she certainly doesn’t want to be here and probably doesn’t think the children deserve to be here either. I do wish I could let them all go, but I can’t very well just hand out a shortened detention session for blowing a hole in the school! And I’m not going to just let somepony else dictate how I run my school, even if she is a mother. Cheerilee looked back down into the classroom. Still, I better say something to help break the tension here.
“Children, I’m really sorry I snapped at you like that,” Cheerilee said.
The four foals looked up at Cheerilee.
Cheerilee continued, “You were all just concerned about your hygiene, and that’s good!” Cheerilee assured with a smile. Her expression went serious again. “It’s just… you really shouldn’t be up and about so much during detention. Still, it was wrong of me to behave the way I did. I hope you can all forgive me.”
The four foals quickly exchanged looks and turned back to Cheerilee with smiles on their face.
Button spoke up first. “We forgive you, Ms. Cheerilee.”
Sweetie Belle rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. “Yeah… sorry we got a little carried away…”
Scootaloo nodded. “Sorry.”
“Won’t happen again!” Apple Bloom assured cheerily.
Love Tap narrowed her eyes and frowned.
“Good,” Cheerilee replied happily. She smiled. “Now, just focus on what you’re doing and time will fly by, you’ll see!”
“Yes, Ms. Cheerilee,” the kids called back as they refocused on what they were doing before the myriad disruptions occurred.
Love Tap pursed her lips and looked back at Cheerilee.
Cheerilee rested her elbows on her desk and placed her forehooves together. She rested her muzzle against her hooves as she stared back at Love Tap. Alright… your move.