Chapter 13: Pizzas and Pig Pens
"Who said that?" asked Owlowiscious.
"I did."
Tank, Winona, Owlowiscious and Opal saw a shabby, slovenly rat hoist himself off the street and onto the curb of the sidewalk. His teeth, while large and strong, were discolored and covered with stains, and his breath was so foul that Winona managed to catch a whiff of it as soon as he hobbled onto the curb. From head to toe, he was covered in scraps of garbage and loose crumbs, all entangled in his fur.
"Someone needs a bath," Opal muttered under her breath.
"And you are...?" uttered Winona, desperately trying to resist the urge to gag.
"The name's Sulu," wheezed the rat. "Sulu Candles."
"Sulu... Candles?"
"Yeah, Sulu Candles. And I can assure you, Pet Paradise is gonna be the least of your friends' worries."
"And why is that?" asked Tank, narrowing his eyes with suspicion.
"Because I- hold on, just a sec."
Sulu took a seat and started vigorously scratching himself with his foot, scattering flecks of dirt every which way around him. Owlowiscious and Opal winced, hurriedly backing away from the rat's grotesque display of poor hygiene.
"I-is that really necessary?" croaked Tank, averting his eyes.
"Just gimme a minute," said Sulu, giving himself a few more scratches. In a moment, he was done. "Ah, much better," he sighed. "Anyway, like I was saying, Pet Paradise probably ain't gonna target your buddies.
"See, Pet Paradise is a hub for some of the rarest and most valuable animals in all of Equestria. It's not gonna lock up just anyone, and definitely not two schlubs like the guys you were pallin' around with. You think the Pet Paradise guards are gonna break their neck going after a rabbit? They've got a dozen of those."
"What about Gummy?" asked Tank. "Surely a toothless alligator would be at least somewhat exotic?"
"You kiddin' me?" Sulu laughed. "I've seen dozens of those before. You've got a lot to learn, kid."
"I'm 120," snapped Tank.
"Then act like it," Sulu retorted.
Winona tentatively took a step towards Sulu. "So lemme get this straight," she said. "You're tellin' me that them Pet Paradise ponies are roundin' up all these exotic critters and lockin' 'em in cages... just so they can have 'em?"
The rat shook his head. "If only that were the case," he said. "No, here's what they do. Every night, the gatekeeper lets the pets-"
"The gatekeeper?" interrupted Tank.
"Yeah, the gatekeeper. That's the guy who owns the place. Anyway, like I was saying, the gatekeeper lets the pets out, pairs 'em up, and forces 'em to fight."
This was followed by a collective gasp from Tank, Winona, Owlowiscious and Opal.
"W-what about the critters that don't wanna fight?" asked Winona.
"Thrown in the trash."
From a single look, Tank could tell that those four words ignited a fire within Winona's soul. Foam was beginning to accumulate around her enraged scowl, and Tank swore he could see steam coming out of her nostrils. "Those... those MONSTERS!" she hissed through her gritted teeth. "Fellas, we're bustin' those critters out and we're doin' it now. Ah won't take no for an answer."
Sulu gave Winona a nonchalant shrug. "You can try," he said. "God knows I've been trying for about two years now. 'Course, I usually have to go it alone, since I don't really have any friends 'round these parts."
"Gosh, I can't imagine why," muttered Opal, prompting a smack upside the head from Owlowiscious.
"But if you're serious about this, you'll probably need my help," said Sulu. "I know that place like the back of my hand. Just follow my lead."
With that, Sulu began to lead the way back to the pet shop. As soon as they were sure he was out of earshot, the pets began to talk amongst themselves.
"Do you suppose we should follow him?" Owlowiscious whispered. "I don't mean to sound prejudiced, but I can't help but think that there's something he's hiding from us."
"And he smells awful." added Opal. "As soon as he got close to me I felt like I was going to keel over."
"Granted, yes," said Tank, "but what choice do we have? It's not gonna be easy to free those pets, and we'll need all the help we can get. Isn't that right, Winona?"
No response.
"Winona?"
Tank glanced over to his right and was met with the sight of a dog possessed. Winona steadily crept forward, sporting an unflinching glare and emitting a low, ominous growl with every step she took.
"N-never mind," he stammered, shuffling away from her.
***
"All right, bunny 'n croc. We're done."
Angel's eyes perked up as soon as he heard the pizza pony's words, as did Gummy's. There, right in front of them, was a small but well- furnished building with the words Cheesy Clyde's Pizzeria emblazoned on the awning. The aroma that lead Angel astray hit him again, but this time it was several times more potent. Angel was trembling with anticipation.
"Now you two just wait here in the basket," said the pizza pony. "I just gotta punch out and then we can go home."
With that, he hopped off his bike and strolled inside. With every second that ticked by, Angel was reminded of the delicious and tantalizing cuisine that was just out of his reach. He was one moment away from storming into the building and devouring everything he saw. Gummy was far more collected than his friend, but Angel couldn't help but notice a glimmer of excitement in his eye.
After what seemed like an eternity, the pizza pony emerged from the building and ambled over towards his bike with a small box under his foreleg. "A promise is a promise," he said, opening the box and revealing two golden slices inside. "Dig in."
Gummy scooped up his slice and began to nibble away at it. Angel absolutely destroyed his slice, tearing into it like a wild beast, eliciting a nervous chuckle from the pizza pony. "Damn, man, you were hungry."
Angel collapsed headfirst into the pizza box and passed out as soon as he was done, his belly full and his appetite satisfied. Upon seeing this, Gummy shrugged and followed suit, curling up next to his friend and dozing off.
"Long day, huh?" remarked the pizza pony. "Better get you two home while I still can." With that, he dropped the pizza box into the basket, strapped on his helmet and took off.
"My home, that is. I still have to figure out where yours is..."