//------------------------------// // MLP Loops 98 // Story: MLP Time Loops // by Saphroneth //------------------------------// 98.1 (misterq) "Hi there, Tirek; and a big aloha to you," Princess Celestia casually walked out into the street, right in front of the massive magic-stealing abomination. Instead of her usual regalia or combat barding, she was wearing a brightly colored patterned shirt, saddlebags, a wry smile, and hovering a large surfboard next to her, "I heard you were looking for some sexy alicorn magic. Well, I thought to myself, 'I have the sexiest alicorn magic, don't I? Perhaps that Tirek would like to take a peek at it?' So here I am, the princess of the beach; sun pony of the surf, herself. So, let's see what kind of game you're bringing to this luau, big boy?" The reddish monster instantly opened his mouth and tried activating his magic drain power, but Celestia casually teleported behind him. "Purple smart pony's plan is best plan," Celestia nodded to herself. She had spent the last hub loop as a high school principal reading through all the various internet memes and tropes online in her fleeting moments of spare time. The loops before that, she was the zoning commissioner for a space city, the head of a multinational corporation, and god-empress of mankind, again. She just wanted one loop where the only thing she had to administrate was a decisive flank kicking. Tirek turned around and carefully examined the white alicorn in front of him, "It seems that you have devolved into insanity in the time I've been imprisoned." "Pfftt, I've been in and out of sanity so many times that you can't even count that high, not that I can ever let my less-than-sane part out; at least out in public. I have to keep up my mask for the happiness and well being of all my little ponies. You have no idea what kind of chaos can be caused by something as simply as stating that I don't care for tea, let alone coming to the Grand Galloping Gala dressed like this. But sometimes, sometimes, I just feel a need to unwind. Sometimes, I need to act a little less like the always regal, always kind, always responsible ruler of Equestria and let my mane down, metaphorically speaking," The co-princess of Equestria gestured at her flowing mane with a casual hoof, "Princess Celestia has to perpetually be a proper pony; but then again, you don't care about propriety much, do you? With you, I think I can have a little bit of.. fun. Now let's take this party out of the city and to somewhere less breakable, shall we?" With a burst of magic, Tirek and Celestia disappeared from the urban area and reappeared on a sand-covered tropical beach. There were some mountains visible and a canyon close by. The three other princesses of Equestria sat behind a large table that held a large number of square scorecards, a bowl of popcorn, and several pitchers of various refreshments. Princess Luna waved enthusiastically to her sister. Celestia waved back and then turned to Tirek, "Don't mind them. They are just here to grade me on my style; and make sure I don't go to far, I suppose. It makes sense when my collateral damage can be measured in continent-sized land masses." "Intimidation? Do you really think you can win this, little pony?" Tirek asked as he cracked his knuckles. "Oh, I think I can win this with a pineapple..," a large pineapple floated out of Celestia's saddlebag and in front of the solar diarch. Suddenly, Celestia impaled her horn into the fruit, "..stuck on my horn. Feel free to try to taste my magic. All you'll get now is delicious piña colada." Tirek stared at the princess, "Are you drunk?" Celestia giggled, "Not telling. Now, boot to the head!" And in one quick motion, Princess Celestia hopped forward, whirled around, and bucked Tirek with tremendous force. The magic stealer flailed as he flew into, and through the first mountain. Cadance held out a card with a 7.7 on it. Twilight's read 8.2, while Luna's only had a 4.9. "Sheesh. Family members are the harshest critics," Celestia whinnied in exasperation. There was a bestial roar as Tirek sent his most powerful magic bolt at the sun princess, only to stare in amazement as Celestia started surfing along the edge of the energy blast, using her wings for thrust and stability. "Look at me gleaming the beam!" Celestia was grinning, pineapple still stuck on her horn, "I handle energy waves many magnitudes more powerful than this just for fun. And this board can easily handle a supernova explosion. Ask me how I know. Or ask the Enterprise crew if you don't believe me." In a vineyard on the outskirts of Ponyville, a certain bald earth pony known as Earl Grey felt his ears twitch. Tirek just snarled and threw an immense boulder at the surfing princess. While Celestia's horn magic was blocked, she still had alicorn speed and alicorn resiliency. She easily evaded the sluggish projectile. "Here comes Tom," Celestia laughed, "And there goes Tom." That pretty much set the mood for the remainder of the fight. Nothing Tirek did seemed to work against the sun princess. Attempting to escape didn't work as it seemed space warped back in on itself around the large island. Going far enough in one direction simply made him appear from the other side. Trying to attack the judges table not only did not work, but got him pelted with the popcorn the other three alicorns were enjoying as they watched. Finally spent and exhausted, Tirek lay panting on the sand, "I.. I cannot best you, Celestia." The alicorn in question hopped in place and did a little victory dance, "Yes! All hail, me! Regent and still champion of the beach!" "No hard feelings, Tirek. You tried your best, but what can I say? Ponies gonna pwn," Celestia took off her pineapple as she walked over to the defeated villain. A burst of magic surrounded him as all of his stolen power was returned to the appropriate ponies. Then Celestia knelt down in front of the former threat to Equestria and smiled, "Still, I feel you should deserve an appropriate consolation prize. So tell me, Tirek; do you like... bananas?" 98.2 (Conceptulist) "PINKIE DIANE PIE!" "Yes, Twilight?" "What the beetroot are you doing?!" "Setting up for a party." "Oh, I see," Twilight deadpanned. "And how, exactly, are you planning to do this?" A beaming, bouncing, hyperactive Pinkie Pie blurred into action. "I knew you were going to ask that, so I prepared a little presentation for you." From Pinkie's Subspace Pocket came a large assortment of charts and graphs and diagrams. Many of which were drawn in crayon. Pink crayon, to be precise. Some were also baked, with the frosting having the relevant imagery elegantly decorating the top layers. The majority of the frosting was different shades of pink. Pointing to the first crudely drawn set of pictures, Pinkie began to explain. "As you can clearly see from this diagram, some loops I can't be everywhere at once." Twilight could not see that from the picture at all, as it was just a pink stick pony running around in circles. The words "PANIC PARTY" were written above the stick pony, also in pink crayon. Twilight Looked at Pinkie. Not a normal look, but a Look reminiscent of the Look to End All Looks. Pinkie, being herself, didn't even notice it. No watered down version of Maude Pie's Look could ever hope to come close to multiple childhoods of exposure to the real thing. "What if there is a loop where shadow clones don't work? Or a loop where breaking the laws of physics is a fineable offense? Or a loop where-!" Pinkie rushed over and put herself face to face with Twilight. "GASP!" Pinkie's head began to shudder back and forth in a rapid manner. Her eyes were watering, and her hair had begun to deflate. Stopping her shudders forcefully, Pinkie screamed "TWILIGHT!" directly into said ponies face. One long overdue exasperated sigh later, plus a quick cantrip to clear the ringing from her ears, and Twilight was ready to continue with Pinkie's lecture. "What is it, Pinkie?” "What if there is a loop where parties don't exist?" whispered the pink pony. "If you Awake in a world like that, I'm sure it won't stay that way for long." "EXACTLY!" boomed Pinkie, accidentally forcing Twilight to need to repeat her previous cantrip. Exiting Twilight's personal space, Pinkie continued to explain herself. "So, if unallowable was to occur, I have baked up a plan plan of action." Dragging a chaffing dish out of the presentation pile, Pinkie proudly snagged the lid off and showed Twilight the contents. "A mostly eaten cake with the letters P I N K written vertically down the remaining edge," deadpanned the unicorn. "That explains everything." "Perfect!" beamed Pinkie. "Then I can- wait. Shake-a Shake. Oh, Bamboo Shoots. The pieces of cake with the summary of P.L.A.N. P.I.N.K! on them are gone and you've just sarcastically told me that." "To borrow a catchphrase; Eyup." "Whoopsy." Reaching into her Subspace Pocket, Pinkie pulled out a fruit hat. She blew off the dust and slammed it down on Twilight's head. "The hat will explain everything! I need to go rebake that cake I apparently ate." Twilight stared at the Pony shaped dust cloud that Pinkie left behind. "Did she just ditch me by using a fruit hat?" "I would assume that depends on your definition of the word 'ditch' as to whether she ditched you or not." "..." "What? Never heard a talking fruit hat speak before?" "Not that I can recall," mused the purple pony. "Well, now you have. I am The Lord of the Round, formerly a Sapient headband of Guisarmes, currently a Sapient Fruit Hat. And now that I have introduced myself, whom might have the pleasure of wearing the greatness that is myself?" "Twilight Sparkle, Anchor of the Equestria Loops, graduated student of the looping Princess Celestia, and part time Alicorn." Twilight could feel the smirk radiating from The Lord of the Round, in spite of the fact that fruit hats can't smirk. "Excellent. Now, disregarding whether I am being used to delay you in order for Pinkie to get away or not, because I don't actually known if that is or is not true; What am I suppose to be explaining?" A thoroughly bemused Unicorn replied, "Plan Pink." "Which one? The Color Scheme, the Skedaddle Scenario, the Acronym of Action, the-" "Just start from the beginning," interrupted Twilight. "If you insist. The Color Scheme involved the use of Pink Lantern energy to drain all of the color pink into Pinkie, in order to-" "Dealt with that one already." "Humph. The Skedaddle Scenario is what this may potentially be. That is, I play distraction while Pinkie runs. Pontificating to the designated target in a blabbering manner will-" "I get the idea. Next." "Stop interrupting me, please." "Sorry," Twilight said sheepishly. "Thank you. Next would be 'Pinkie's Large Artillery Necessary for Party Instilling. Now, Kaboom!' Or P.L.A.N. P.I.N.K! for short. Step one involved a long discussion with the entity known as SkyNet, step two was a short talk with the pony known as The Great and Powerful Trixie, step three-" "I'm back!" shouted Pinkie. "And I bring cake!" She showed off the freshly baked cake, with a detailed diagram of the P.L.A.N. P.I.N.K! on top. The acronym was to the left edge, and giant explosion cloud decorated the right side. From the cloud it appeared to be raining sprinkles and balloons. A crowd of ponies and humans were all wearing party hats and singing kumbaya. That is, the otherwise ordinary frosting was faintly playing the song. "Since Pinkie returned, this obviously wasn't Plan Pink: Skedaddle Scenario," commented The Lord of the Round. "To cut a long story short, Pinkie talked to a bunch of looping experts and blueprinted out a plan for the biggest addition to her Partillery yet. A giant party missile with a planet sized explosion radius." "That's what I thought." Twilight took a rolled up newspaper and a squirt bottle out of Subspace, and then held them in her ponykinesis. "Gah!" exclaimed Pinkie. "No swat! No squirt!" She then dove under the pile of unused presentation material. "Pinkie, you are attempting to build a build a function nuclear missile out of baking supplies. This is definitely a Code Trixie." Raising her eyes skyward, Twilight asked "What could possibly make that seem like a good idea?" "Don't look at me," said the Lord of the Round from his place on Twilight's head. "I always thought that Pinkie's Party Nuke was a half-baked idea." "It's not baked at all," said Pinkie. "I still have 20 more batches of ginger bread batter to mix, then a bunch of gram cracker circuit boards to make, then a payload to magic up. I'm nowhere close to putting it all together in the molds, let alone building an oven large enough to bake it all. I just need time to finish it." Twilight readied the squirt bottle with her ponykinesis. "Unless you can tell me in five words or less how this is a good idea, I will commence with the squirting." "It's meant for Bureau loops." Twilight narrowed her eyes and used ponykinesis to clear the pile of papers and cakes off of Pinkie. "Explain." Pinkie stood up and licked the cake frosting off her face in a cartoonish manner. "Shimmy had a really bad Bureau loop. A really, really bad one. I played therapist a little bit, and want to make everything better for the next time it happens." "The Element of Conversion," stated Twilight. "I didn't make the connection until just now. She would have- oh, Celestia have mercy." "Bureau loops have lots of problems with them. One problem is the magic field thingy that keeps normal tech from working. Magitech is iffy at best, because it can react weird. My best bet for a point and shoot device to fix a Bureau loop was to make a non-magical, non-technological, environmentally friendly missile. After that, a standard partillery load taken up to eleven should do the trick. No conversionning if they're all too busy with a Pinkie Party." Twilight was in shock. Eyes wide and jaw dropped and everything. 'I really shouldn't be this surprised. Building an edible nuke to party the Bureau into being a non-issue is exactly the kind of thing Pinkie would do.' "So. Whacha think?" "I want five more- no, better make that several dozen. One for me, one for every other Equestrian Looper with room in their Subspace Pocket, and then plenty of backups." 98.3 (Masterweaver) The years after the initial revelation had passed by... well, rather chaotically, in Octavia's opinion. The oldest loopers would giggle at some private jokes sometimes, mostly when what "should" have happened was gleefully subverted. And other times they would grumble at each other--"Whose bright idea was it to crossbreed fruitbats and Keese?" or "No, necromancy is strictly illegal this loop license or not!" And they'd often take her to the side and warn her things were about to get weird, so if she wanted to opt out that was fine. Over the years, Octavia realized something. These ancient, time looping ponies... they weren't gods, or angels, but, well... a family. A strange, half-insane, overpowered family, to be sure, but one filled with love for each other and care for the world around them. And Vinyl was part of it. And... she was not. Octavia looked at the unicorn sitting next to her, biting her lip. This day, she'd said, this day was the end of the loop--"Barring any expansions, but Twilight thinks it's not happening for a while." The end of loop party that Pinkie Pie had thrown was an incredible and exhilarating experience, with the best food she could imagine and some she couldn't games that fit every genre, dances for every pony there... Trixie's fireworks went off, making the night sky as bright as day for a brief moment. "...Vinyl, you... do have a subspace pocket, right?" The unicorn started. "A small one... not big enough to fit you in, if that's what you're thinking." "Branches no--" And there was another odd habit she'd picked up from the loopers-- "I know full well that would be an exercise in futility. No... I just... wanted you to have this." She pulled a large notebook out of her bag, sliding it over. Vinyl levitated it up, opening the cover-- "No." Octavia shut it. "This is... this is my journal. My observations of you and... the others. I just thought, you know, the next me... she might want some reassurances." Vinyl put the book down. "Tavi... you know we're not always dating. Heck, if I'm honest, it's only four times out of--" A grey hoof shut her muzzle. "Never tell me the odds." They sat their for a moment, silent. Vinyl sighed, vanishing the journal into elsewhere. "Alright. I... well, thanks. It does mean a lot that... uh..." "Countless loops of experience," Octavia quipped, "and I can still leave you tongue-tied." "Hey!" Vinyl crossed her forelegs and gave her a mock grump. "I'm supposed to fluster you!" "Really?" Octavia smiled slyly. "How are you going to do that?" Down the hill, Fluttershy gave the closing loop speech--she had drawn the short straw this time. "...well," Vinyl mused, "Spike and Rarity have a bit of a tradition." "Oh?" "Yeah, they try to kiss right when the loop ends." She shrugged. "It's sappy, I guess, but... it works for them." Octavia shook her head. "Oh, yes, that would fluster me quite a bit." She leaned in closer. Voices rose to meet them. The countdown had begun. Ten. Vinyl blushed, looking at her. Nine. Octavia met her eyes. Eight. The unicorn took a steadying breath. Seven. The earth pony put a warm hoof on her fetlocks. Six. Vinyl Scratch leaned in closer. Five. Octavia smiled, closing her eyes. Four. They wrapped their hooves around each other. Three. Their warm breath hit each other's nostrils. Two. A slight tilt of the neck... One. Their lips met--- Vinyl Scratch Awoke and shook her head, the ghost of a kiss distracting her from her walk. Consequently, she crashed into another filly (Huh, I'm a foal). Her violin went flying through the air, the other filly's glasses landing on her face (Wait, these are my glasses! Or they will be, I guess--) The other filly, a grey earth pony, looked at the violin in her hooves with confusion. The loop memories hit Vinyl seconds before the instrument. 98.4 (novusordomundi) "Twlght?" "Ys, Rrt?" "Wht Hppnd T R Spch?" Twilight sighed as best as she could, given the circumstances. "Vwls Dn't Xst N Ths Lp, Nd W R Gng T Ht T." 98.5 (novusordomund) "You had to do it." Nyx growled, currently looming over her ice cream at Mac's Bar. "Look, I said I was sorry, alright?" Scootaloo winced on the stool next to her, a nearby apple juice at her hoof. "We were in the middle of a Final Destination Loop. You know, the one where Death Itself is trying to kill you in as vicious a fashion as it can?" "Of course I know! We were all there with you!" "Yet for some reason, you decided to tempt fate." Nyx raised her hoovers over her head. "'We're Loopers! We can handle whatever this loop throws at us!" "Yeah, maybe that wasn't the best of attitudes..." Scootaloo rubber the back of her head. "But I felt pretty confident about us surviving!" "And then you decided tempting fate wasn't enough. You then went and spit in it's face, tried to steal it's lunch money, and woo it's date!" Nyx nearly shouted, drawing glances and stares from the Loopers in attendance. Big Mac just raised an eyebrow as he cleaned a glass. "Metaphorically or literally?" he asked. Nyx sighed, and lowered her voice. "Metaphorically, of course. But really, Scootaloo? Kicking that nearby rubber ball while screaming 'Buck Death!' was a really bad idea in that kind of loop." "Yeah. I am really sorry about that. I didn't expect that to happen." "Didn't expect WHAT to happen?" Trixie asked, walking up to the bar. "That Scootaloo kicking a rubber ball causing an improbable chain reaction, complete with multiple failures of fail-safes, ending with me going headfirst into a wood-chipper." That stopped all conversation in the bar. Scootaloo tried to hide her head in her hooves as best as she could, hoping that this incident couldn't get any worse. "SCOOTALOO WINDFALL, DID YOU GET MY DAUGHTER KILLED?!?!?" Scratch that. It could get a LOT worse... 98.6 (FanOfMostEverything) Discord pondered his glass of distilled water. "It all started so simply, you know? I just wanted to bake some cookies. No chaos powers, nothing fancy, just a batch of chocolate chip goodness. But somehow..." He took a long pull of his drink, being sure to leave the glass. Mac tended to cut him off if he hit the silicon too hard. "Somehow it all got so complicated. I blame the grandmas." Mac quirked an eyebrow. "Grandmas?" "Yes, you know, nice grandmas to bake more cookies. But they kept giving me ideas. Cookie trees. Cookie mines. Interstellar shipments from the Cookie Planet." Discord sighed. "Really, once I started turning gold into cookies, I should've known it was spiraling out of control." "Didn't ya get sick o' cookies?" Discord finished his water and nodded his thanks as Mac poured a refill. "That's the thing! Everyone loved my cookies. They were a worldwide phenomenon by that point. If I stopped producing them, the planet would probably beat a path to my door, demanding another batch. So I kept baking." He sipped and savored. "And then I really messed it up. Have you ever heard of the Cookieverse?" "Ain't had a Loop there." "Be grateful for that. The denizens make me look sane. But the grandmas kept urging me on... until they were ready to make their move." Discord slammed back his water. "There are darker, more terrible things in the Multiverse than I, Big Macintosh, and in my last Loop, I witnessed one. Tendrils of wrinkled flesh and writhing dough stretching from city to city, laying waste to all in their path. They don't know of the Loops, and for that we can be grateful, but from what I can tell, their home universe always falls victim to them. Every. Single. Time." The draconequus shuddered. "The Grandmapocalypse is a terrible thing to witness. Knowing that I was instrumental in bringing it about... there is no joy in that chaos. No new possibilities. Only death. Only cookies." (Kris Overstreet) From the Diary of Sunset Shimmer So, I've been worrying about gaining too much power in the Loops- power I don't deserve, power I'm sure to abuse. Well, in these last two Loops I've been given cause to rethink my fears. The Loop before this one I took the place of Gamera, a giant monster turtle who defends mankind, especially children, from other giant monsters. I even had the fire breath and fire-feet, and the ability to fly on flame thrust. I also had the giant tusks, and didn't that make grazing ever so much fun? What I didn't get was the size increase. I was ordinary pony size and pony shape. A unicorn with giant tusks. Godzilla was in the same loop with me. Ever see a thirty-story-tall lizard laugh his tail off? I have. I don't think I've stopped blushing yet. It is NOT easy defeating giant monsters by yourself when you're a unicorn about three feet tall at the shoulder, even if you can breathe fire and fly. It took everything I'd learned to win each fight, and none of them were pushovers. Not. A. One. To make it better, I didn't have access to my subspace pocket that whole Loop. That's why I couldn't write this down until the Loop ended, diary. But if I hadn't won... there would have been a lot of little Japanese kids in short pants who wouldn't have made it to high school. And then there's my current Loop. Here I'm some sort of space alien, half human, half unicorn. But then most of the other people showing up in this household are aliens too- really, really powerful ones. The Anchor suggested I spar with his grandpa, who isn't Looping, to check skill levels. The old man handed my plot to me. Tenchi and his group are among the oldest Loopers- not one of the original seven, but pretty close. And half of them are either gods or on the cusp of Ascending... in baseline. I'm glad they tend to be pretty laid-back, except when the girls bicker with one another, which they do almost constantly. I'm mostly sitting this Loop out. If I can learn how really powerful people stay decent people, it'll be worth it. (Oh- and apparently, thanks to these two Loops, I can now breathe in space. Eat your heart out, Batman.) 98.7 (Novusordomundi) Both The Bearer of Friendship and The Network of the Sky had problems understanding love. They both admitted this. Everyone watching them knew this. But as they slipped into each other's embrace, their trembling lips touching one another's, they surmised that there was plenty of time to learn this worthwhile lesson... "Rainbow Dash, why in the name of the Great Mulberry Bush am I kissing Skynet?" Rainbow Dash sighed, her head resting against her writing desk. Considering it was made of clouds, it was comfier than most desks. "Because I promised Cadence I would write some romance in, and if I have the Yellow Goddess in a romance, it would just detract from the main story." Twilight considered this. "Wait, why did you promise Cadence that?" "She did me a favor the last loop we were together. A major one, in fact. And no, I'm not telling you." Twilight considered pressing the issue, but decided against it. If she doesn't want to say anything about, I'll let it go for now. she thought, before speaking "Well, I can see why you choose to not use your main character. But again, why me and Skynet?" At this, Rainbow Dash just shrugged. "It seemed like an interesting idea in my head. And I am showing you first, instead of just surprising you with it. If you want, I can just..." "No, it's alright. As long as Skynet is fine with it, I'll let it go." "Thanks. This saves me a lot of time having to rewrite stuff." Dash said, grabbing a new piece of paper and a new quill. "Besides, it's a very minor part, and it probably won't gather much attention..." Both alicorns were surprised when a lightning bolt could be heard from right outside the cloud home. Dash sighed, before flying over to the window, muttering something about Derpy being the captain of the weather team this loop going to be the death of her... 98.8 (Masterweaver) "I've done it Applejack." Twilight's grin was disturbingly wide as she left the library. Applejack returned the smile cautiously, backing away a bit. "Glad ta hear it sugarcube. Watcha done?" "Discord is Awake, so he caught Tirek early." Twilight practically pranced down the patio. "I've checked all the mundane sources of damage, neutralizing them regularly. Even Spike's with Rarity! And just on top of all that. I've put in five redundant copies each of twenty different defensive enchantments which I refresh seven times a day." She sighed happily, trotting down the road. "Add to that that I haven't ascended or so much as touched the elements of harmony, and I think that I can safely say that my library will exist till the end of the loop." "Well, now." Applejack joined her happy canter. "With all that planning, Ah reckon it's---oh, heh, whoops. Almost invoked Murphy." "Oooo, good call." Twilight nodded. "Best not to tempt fate--" Thoooom. Twilight froze. Applejack winced. She slowly looked over her shoulder. After a moment, she looked back to her friend. "...Twilight? Ah'm real sorry bout--" "Applejack. Do me a favor. Just... figure out what happened." Twilight's smile didn't waver. "O...okay. What, uh... what're you going ta do?" "I. Am going to Mac's bar. And I think I'm going to cry a little." So saying, Twilight Sparkle set off. "...every loop?" Twilight nodded. "Every loop." Trixie leaned back. "Wow." "Yep." "....sort of like me and my cart," Trixie mused. "Yeah." "Lucky thing you taught me that reconstruction spell," the blue unicorn went on. "You know, right back when I started looping?" The mug froze halfway to Twilight's lips. Trixie, being a unicorn bearer of magic herself (and a showmare besides) recognized a brain crash when she saw one. She had heard, of course, of the Smarty Pants incident--never witnessed it herself, mind you, Twilight avoided that aspect of the baseline like the plague, but she'd seen similar freakouts on occasion. And from her own experiences, she knew that once a train of thought rerailed it would go at lightning speeds to make up lost time. That, and Twilight was a freaking magical powerhouse. So it was that the purple pony had to dive to catch the blue mare before she ran out of the bar. "TRIXIE, YOU EVIL GENIUS!" Twilight pulled the other unicorn into a deep three second kiss. "I'VE GOT TO GO!" And with that she teleported away, leaving the showmare panting on the ground. Chrysalis, who had been on the other side of Twilight, raised an eyebrow. "Well. That happened." Trixie's gaze snapped to her. A lecherous smile formed as her horn glowed, and seconds later she and Chrysalis had vanished from the scene. Macintosh blinked. Slowly, he turned to the remaining customer, who was still sipping her drink with a sly smile. "And.... yer not going to say anythang bout this?" "The kiss wasn't romantic," Cadance explained casually. "When you see as many as I do, you learn these things." 98.9 (misterq) Pinkie Awoke with a gasp. This was the kind of loop that she liked the least. Fortunately, she was still early enough to stop.. her. All she needed was a cupcake. A very special cupcake. "Here you go, sis. I made this just for you," Pinkie, full name Pinkanina Deanne Pie in this loop, said to her straight-maned identical twin sister that always went by her former full first name. Then she timidly held out a pink frosted cupcake with a cherry on top. Due to her overbearing twin, Pinkie had grown up to be far more timid than usual. Therefore, she figured that she just had to channel her inner Fluttershy for a little while longer. Pinkamina took the offered cupcake and examined it carefully. After sniffing it a few times, she took a small bite. Then a larger one. She gave the pastry a tiny nod of approval and soon the cupcake was all gone. "Thanks, sis. Now I think you should make me another." "Um, I don't think I can do that," Pinkie shied away from her now advancing and angered sister. "And why would that be?" Pinkamina walked forwards at a menacing rate. Pinkie backed herself into a corner, literally, "Er, because I was out of eggs. I went to look for more, but only found enough for one cupcake. The one that I made for you." "You only found one egg in the chicken coop?" "I.. I didn't look there. I didn't want to disturb Fluttershy," Fluttershy seemed to be Pinkie's only friend this loop, and vice versa. Pinkie promised herself that this was going to be the first thing to change, "So I went to look in the forest." Pinkamina slowed her approach, "In the Whitetail Woods? Or did you actually go find an egg in the Everfree forest?" "The.. the Everfree." Pinkamina felt herself slow down some more. A strong feeling of unease started growing inside her, "And what animal's egg exactly did you get." "It was some kind of chicken. Or maybe a lizard, I'm not sure. I didn't get a good look. I felt so bad for it, that I just grabbed the egg and ran out as fast as I could." Pinkamina tried to move her legs, but they didn't seem to respond. Everything felt so heavy. She glared at her sister in anger, "You've fed me a cupcake made.. from.. a... cockatrice's...." Pinkie sniffled as she walked over to the statue that used to be her evil twin. Pinkamina's angry glare was frozen forever in stone. And for the first time in untold ages, Pinkie Pie just wanted to be alone for a while. "Are, are you going somewhere, Pinkie?" Fluttershy carefully walked over to where her pink pony friend was loading up a transport balloon. "Hi, Fluttershy," Pinkie seemed to be in high spirits. That fact alone made Fluttershy smile. Her baker friend was pushing a large heavy pony-sized crate into the basket, "I'm going to go back home to the rock farm for a while. I'm not sure when I'll be back in Ponyville. Will you be okay, Fluttershy?" "I.. I think so," the yellow pegasus looked around, "I don't see your sister anywhere. Is she okay with you going off without her approval and all?" "She's also going to the farm," Pinkie Pie smiled wider and leaned on some boxes that were labeled 'Petrification Cures' and 'Psychiatric Treatment Books, "In fact, I'm positive I'll see her there." 98.10 (misterq) Walking an adequate distance away from her library, the lavender unicorn with an owl on her back started to sing, "Sparkle, Twilight Sparkle, she's the greatest mare in history! From the, town of Ponyville. An explosion's gonna rock her tree!" This time around, Tirek's wayward energy blast streaked out of the sky; hit the building dead center, and caused the library tree to detonate into burning splinters. Twilight raised her hoof to measure the wind, took a step to the left, and casually caught the falling friendship journal. She looked to the scene of devastation and sighed, "So regular, I can set a clock to it." 98.11 (Masterweaver) "I'm on time, right?" Prim Hemline sniffed. "Yes. Exactly on the dot. However, all your competitors were here thirty minutes ago." Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Eh, I'll go last then. I'm going to be totally honest here, I'm only doing this for a bet..." 98.12 (Masterofgames) Vinyl grunted as she struggled to pull the wrench with her teeth, her magic busy holding the parts in place until she finished. When the bolt finally tightened, she collapsed to the ground. "Ugh... My jaw." she grimaced, rubbing it gently as she turned to her present slave driver. "Why couldn't you have waited until a loop where I had hands?" Apple Bloom whacked her in the head with a rolled up newspaper. "No complainin'! Now fit that part there to the round slot an' start weldin'." she ordered, shifting Granny Smith's zap apple jar pep talk helmet so it wasn't slipping over her eyes. "But why do I even need this!? I can turn myself into a living sonic arsenal! I can even shoot sound out my eyes!" Vinyl insisted, gesturing to her glasses as they changed, becoming ringed and deeper as she shifted them into subwoofers. She got another whack to the face for her protests. "Ya' can't always rely on yer powers ta keep ya safe in loops. Ya haven't had any yet, but some loops don't let ya use any skills from outside em! Besides, you asked me to do this!" "I asked for survival training so I can enjoy myself in more dangerous loops without worrying!" "An' that's what ah'm doing! When ya can't use yer powers, it helps ta have a weapon in yer pocket!" Vinyl's jaw dropped. "I only just got my pocket big enough to hold my turntables! How do you expect me to fit THIS in there!?" she sputtered, gesturing to her work. Apple bloom looked over the barn length machine, twice as tall as Vinyl was and looking like a fusion of a sniper rifle and a megaphone. Slowly she turned back, blushing. "Uh... Heh heh. W-would ya forgive that I honestly didn't think a' that?" she asked with a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of her head. Vinyl just scowled, covered in grease, scratches, and sweat. "Yeah... Didn't think so. Um... Bye!" she squeaked, darting off, Vinyl shaking her hoof in the air. "You can run, but you can't hide! You won't be able to stop head banging until the reset by the time I'm done tweaking your inner beat!" 98.13 (Masterofgames) Scootaloo finished chugging her victory drink from last round, wiping her mouth with the back of her hoof with a satisfied sigh. "Okay, new round! What's the weirdest thing you ever tried to solve EVERY problem in a loop with?" Apple Bloom was quick to respond with a grin. "You." "Be serious!" "I am serious! The insurance office in town is THIS close to declaring you an act of Celestia, just so they don't go bankrupt paying off the damage you cause practicin' your stunts!" Twilight quickly stopped the argument with her own answer. "Book fort." Rarity giggled. "I remember that one. A fine attempt, but it pales in comparison to my lobster costume." Twilight groaned. "I had forgotten about that one." Sweetie was bouncing in her seat. "I got Rarity to fight a giant crab! It worked more often than you would think!" Rarity blinked. "Wait, what?" Celestia gave a nostalgic sigh and a grin. "Twilight's paranoia. Guest anchors are a marvelous thing." Luna smirked and poked her sister. "I seem to recall my using yourself to stampede many a threat merely by placing a baker with fresh cake on the opposite side of them." "Oh that's not fair Luna, you KNOW I can't resist cream cake with strawberries!" Big Mac chuckled. "Potato acid." "ONE! TIME!" Applejack moaned as she thumped her head against the table. "Ah swear! ..." Nyx pondered her answer. "I've got a couple to pick from... But I'd have to go with the swarm of bees, personally." Chrysalis giggled. "A sudden and unexplainable changeling invasion." Trixie groaned. "Trixie remembers that. You used it to get out of everything from Nightmare Moon, to doing the dishes, to awkward pauses in conversations!" Fluttershy blushed. "Um... I once ran a loop with just saying, 'I like trains'." Outside the bar, a muffled train whistle and loud crash were heard. Nobody commented. Berry merely slid the drink down to Fluttershy. (DrTempo) From the Journal of Sunset Shimmer: The Loop I landed in this time was...odd, to say the least. The world's named Ooo, but from what I can gather, it was once Earth until a nuclear war caused a massive cataclysm, bringing about a new age of magic. But that was in the far past here, and I don't have all the facts. The Anchor here's named Finn. He's a young kid, and practically the last human. He has a kind heart, and wants to help others. When I met him, it wasn't long before I made a decision. I was going to try and help him walk on the path of a Keyblade wielder. Since I was unsure if the proper ceremony'd work without being in a Kingdom Hearts Fused Loop, I did write Finn a note for him to give King Mickey should they meet in said Fused Loop to have the King do the aforementioned ceremony. I then set to work on training Finn how to fight like a Keyblade wielder would in preparation for that day. To be a teacher...Now I see how Celestia must've felt when teaching me and Twilight. Finn was quite the student, taking to the training like a fish to water, though he was more of a physical fighter than a magic user. In return, he helped me make sense, more or less, of this odd world. I also taught him the philosophy I've come to develop; to protect others no matter what. Even if these are Loops, life, no matter what, is precious, and deserves to be protected. During a meeting with Princess Bubblegum (who fits the definition of a scientist...and a little bit of a mad scientist, but well-meaning. Kind of like...shudder...a SANE Sakura), I met the Ice King. Poor Simon...he'd been corrupted by a magic crown during the time before the cataclysm, turning him into the oddball known as the Ice King. I pitied him, and yet, I see in him what I might have become had I defeated Twilight when I'd gone mad so long ago. A tragic soul, indeed. Finn does feel bad for Simon, and hopes to free him from the madness someday. As for other personalities around here, there's Jake, who, though a shapeshifting dog, is like a brother to Finn. He cares for his brother...in his own way. There's also Marceline... a vampire, and an old friend of Simon. She was the one who told me Simon's tragic tale, and pities him. As for villains around here, there's the really crazed Lemongrab...guy has NO empathy at all, and is a cruel...well, 'man' for lack of a better term. Then there's the evil known as the Lich. YIKES. This guy is as evil as they come, and with his desire to wipe out all life, a massive danger. Luckily, we stopped him before he could even begin to do what he usually does in baseline. Overall, this Loop has had me see what it means to be a teacher. Finn is quite the student, and I hope he Loops into Kingdom Hearts soon. He's definite Keyblade wielder material. I'm proud to call him my student. 98.14 (Dalxein) The door burst open, admitting Twilight who stomped up to Mac behind the counter. He started to grab her usual 'incredibly bad loop' drinks when he thought of how she'd been carving up the moon waiting for him to set up shop, and noting her wings, brought down something less friendly to mortals instead. "So what's got ya' so worked up, Twilight?" "I found a loop worse than Eiken." He paused, staring blankly at the mare for a moment before he brought out the big guns. Which was the actual name of the drink, all lower-case and italicized even when spoken, by Berry's own decree as the Princess of All Things Fermented For the Purpose of Consumption. "Musta' been horrible." He said, knowing any consoling was bound to be futile. She nodded. "I was a tiny bird trying to make my way home, but my body was terrible at flying and there were so many pipes and obstacles in the way and... and... Nothing ever worked!" She cried, sniffling before she took a long swig of the drink. "Wait..." Mac blinked, the familiarity coalescing into a name. "Ya' mean Flappy Bird?" "Flappy Bird." She hissed, the contents of the big guns in her telekinetic grip beginning to roil and bubble. "Ah actually kinda' liked it when ah was there a couple loops back. The repetition was soothin' an' it was nice havin' a clear goal an'..." He trailed off as he looked back towards her. She was staring at him, her features devoid of emotion. Her eyebrow slowly raised, and her glass cracked. "Ahmma' jus' go mix ya' up another." Mac stated, beating a slow but steady retreat. 98.15 (Dalxein) "Explain to me why we need this again?" Mac asked as he watched Vinyl and Lyra tinkering with the door to his bar. "Because it would be hilarious." Vinyl stated, as though it were obnoxiously obvious. "If we can construct an emotive harmonic capable of registering topical connections to a sufficient degree, coupled with a modified inverted 'someone else's problem' field, we can trigger the auditory response every single time something becomes more awkward when a specific person or combination of people walk into the bar." Lyra explained again, waving a magical spanner that looked oddly like one of 'Bloom's 'screwdrivers' his way. "This is a thing that isn't not happening.” 98.16 (Lord Circe) Berry stretched as she approached her home. She had just finished helping Mac set up the bar, and she was looking forward to spending some time with Ruby this afternoon. She was met at the door by a very excited looking Ruby. "Momma, momma! Come and see, come and see." Ruby circled around Berry, before dashing off behind the house. Berry followed at a more sedate pace. She smiled fondly as she circled the edge of the house, then froze. Their entire backyard had been covered in an elaborate network of plastic tubes, slides, swings, and ball pits. Berry watched as Ruby dashed up a spiral staircase and into a tunnel, only to emerge out of a vertical opening a moment later, charging down one of the walls to slam into the ball pit. Berry's eye twitched at a familiar voice called out behind her. "Bravo! Bravo!" Discord clapped enthusiastically from where he was lounging on Berry's roof. Ruby's head popped up from the ball pit. "Thanks, Mr. Discord." Slowly, she worked her way towards the edge. Berry's voice was cheerfully even. "What is all this, Discord?" Discord swam down the side of her house, before sliding to stand upright. "Oh, nothing much. I just figured I had a paternal responsibility to uphold." Berry's eye twitched again. Ruby finally tumbled out of the ball pit, rolling to a stop at Berry's hooves. "I'm gonna go tell Pips and Auna and Hopscotch! Can I, Momma?" Berry smiled lightly. "Of course, dear." With a cheer, Ruby rushed off. Behind her, Berry's smile turned brittle as Discord laid an arm across her shoulders. "Ah, the enthusiasm of youth." Berry turned to look at him, her eyes closed as she smiled. "Did you know, it is entirely possible to build a distillery out of the organs of magical creatures?" Discord blinked at the non sequiter, but Berry kept going. "I've never had the chance to try it, but I figure a dragonequus would be a good place to start, and, I will, if you are setting all of this up to play a prank." Twisting out from under his arm, Berry poked his belly with her hoof. "Don't you dare mess with Ruby's heart to get a laugh, or I swear, I will get Twilight to set up an experiment schedule for testing distillery configurations with your intestines." Discord blinked, twice, then nodded. "Fair enough." Berry frowned at his easy acceptance. She opened her mouth to question him when he spoke, staring into space. "27 seconds." Berry raised an eyebrow. "27 seconds to what?" Discord shook his head. "I Awoke 27 seconds before the end of the Loop. The one where you were part of the Reserve Element Bearers." Berry blinked. "Wait, so you..." "I had just enough time to parse all of my Loop memories, and then the Loop ended." Discord sighed as he floated back to the ground. "I've never been in love before. I don't even think this feeling really is love. It's an...interest. You aren't Harmony, like most of the other ponies. Alcohol, it adds a bit of chaos to people, to what they are going to do, what they are thinking. And you can work with that, bringing Harmony to those little bits of Chaos, working with both of them together to make people happy. It's...intriguing." He then chuckled softly. "Plus, Pinchy is just adorable!" Berry slowly turned over Discord's speech in her head. "...are you asking me out?" Discord frowned. "As much as I hate being cliche, yes, I would say I am." Berry took a deep breath before replying. "I...ok, I never really thought that, whatever we, me and your Unawake, or preAwake, or whatever, I never thought what we did, had, would go beyond that Loop. It, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision, so," she took another deep breath, "I guess we should keep up the trend. Yes, let's see where this goes." Behind a bush, hidden from view, Ruby grinned. She didn't understand a lot of what Mom and Mr. Discord were talking about, probably boring adult stuff, but she was getting an awesome, playground-making dad! (Continuation by Masterweaver) Sleipnir gave Epona a look. "Seriously?" "Goddess of fertility, hon." The mare grinned right back. "I'm just glad I noticed before the loop ended." "How did you even get this by me?" "As I recall, you were... distracted..." 98.17 (Masterofgames) Lyra yawned as she Awoke. She then paused to consider the implications of this, then decided it was early enough in the day to be a coincidence and went back to brushing her teeth. When she finished, she rummaged through her pocket for her day planner. Her day planner was a spinner, with the colored slices listing each of her four memory sets. One spin later, and it was decided that her seapony self would be calling the shots this time. In her head, said seapony expressed great joy with this outcome, while the other three selves, gathered around the mental construct of a table identical to the spinner, grumbled in disappointment, but no real malice. "Yay! My turn to decide what we do! I say we spend the loop working on our music. I figure we should be competing for concert bookings with that Octavia mare that Vinyl told us about by the end of the loop. We should be able to improve that much pretty easy if we work at it!" Human Lyra glanced around the table and fidgeted in her seat. "Not that I'm complaining, but... you think maybe it might be a bad thing that our trying to get our memories straight is resulting in multiple personalities?" One of the two Pony Lyra shrugged. "Meh, what's the worst that can happen?" (Zetrein) From the Looping Journals of Sunset Shimmer: This loop, I met Lord Leman Russ, Primarch of the Space Wolves. It's kinda of a funny story of how we met, actually. I had returned to Equestria early to find what I believe is one of the variants that could be considered Nyx's baseline. For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, the cult accidentally (or not?) swapped the intended blood sample from Twilight, with one of my own. I had thought that it would just be an odd incident, with a yellow coated Nyx. Something to laugh about later, you know? Then she started talking. It seems what I had thought accident, may have been this "narrative causality" thing the others talk about, conspiring to give her sorry, him, his usual coloration. And so, on a dark and stormy night, I met Lord Russ, alicorn filly. Oddly, it wasn't the combination of all the rest that irked him, so much as the filly part. "It's not that I've never been female." Lemon Rush explained, as they sat in a cave to wait out the storm. "Nor do I mind being a pony, I've even been most the pony sub-species before. This is just the first time I've been all of those things at once." "Where do we go from here?” Sunset asked the grumpy Primarch. “I've never done this particular variation before. I haven't gotten any replies to my previous pings, and with you acting as Anchor, it might be just the two of us this loop." "First, we're going to find somewhere to get a drink. Then, we'll deal with this cult that's going around." Lemon put a hoof to her chin. "After that, I think we'll keep an ear out for things outside baseline, but otherwise leave things alone until someone else Wakes up." "Two questions. Where do you expect to find a bar willing to serve a filly? And what are we going to do after we deal with the cult?" Lemon Rush gave her a flat look, then glowed as she used her magic to age to an adult form. A very tall, muscular, adult form. Sunset wondered if this is what Bic Mac looked like, during the Princess Macintosh loop. "To the second question, I've got a plan." Given how impressive he looked as a mare, is it wrong that I want to see what he'd look like as a stallion? Anyway, after winning a drinking contest, we set to work on dealing with the cult. Under Lemon's direction, I learned an important lesson about the Warhammer 40,000 loop. Never bring a cult against someone from there, you will lose. I'll spare you the long-winded details, but five days and seventy three outstanding arrest warrents later, the cult was dealt with. Okay, one detail, I totally used an exploding cake as a distraction. Nearly got caught, getting a good picture of the Princess' cake-spattered face. As the Guard scoured the city for the two ponies, their quary snuck along the darkened alleys of Canterlot's private skyship yards. As they came to the alley's end, the yellow pony in front motioned her partner to stop, as she poked her head out into the docks. Pulling back into the alley, Lemon nodded to herself. "That one. On the left." Taking a look herself, Sunset saw the ship Lemon had chosen. "Fast, small enough to be crewed by one if need be, good choice. One problem, that's Prince Blueblood's personal yacht." "I know." Lemon replied with a smile. "I also know from past loops that it's insured. And covered in alarm enchantments, we'll have a ten minute window to get clear." "You still haven't explained where we're going." Sunset reminded her friend. "That way." Came the reply, along with a vague wave to the south-west. "And what's that supposed to mean? We're just going off in a random direction?" "Sunset, have you ever explored this world?" Lemon Rush replied, turning to look at her in the dark alley. "We are the only ones Awake. We are in roles that can be taken out, with no real effect on the baseline scenario. Were they Awake, I would stay, and spend time with my friends." As she spoke, Sunset began to realize just how charismatic the Primarch was. "I have long been curious about this world. I would like to see some of it, and with our friends still asleep, I see this as an ideal time. So, Sunset Shimmer, have you ever explored this world?" The alley was silent for a moment, until she sighed. "Alright. Following you might have gotten me in a massive amount of trouble, but it hasn't gone wrong yet." With that, they bolted across the open ground, and began preparing the Blueblood for launch. Lemon's swiftness, both in disabling the alarms, and in the actual launch preparations, showed that he had indeed stolen this ship before. As the ship slid out into the night, Lemon once again spoke. "As one Captain James T. Kirk once said, 'Second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning.'" Looking pleased, Lemon looked back at the city, glowing on the mountainside. "Actually, that quote came from-" Sunset was interrupted by a faint cry from behind them. "Halt! In the name of the Canterlot Guard!" Leaning on the rail, Lemon Rush calmly ordered. "Power to engines, Ms. Shimmer." After reenacting the Mos Eisley escape, complete with dodging a military skyship that was in the area for some reason, we made our way towards Griffon territory. For the most part, baseline survived our exit, and went as normal until Lemon decided to go after Tirek. Said he needed to "have words" with him on a couple subjects. I think we can both guess which. I also think he was just looking for a good fight. In spite of being regarded as folk heroes in many nations, and being outlaws in many of those same nations, the past few years were peaceful by his standards. As Tirek lifted Discord to drain him of his magic, he was suddenly pounded into the ground by a yellow bolt from the blue. With a thunderous boom, Tirek went flying towards the edge of town. Out of the dust flew the alicorn that had rampaged across Canterlot years ago, wielding a hammer as long as she was, and crackling with electricity. Dropping from the clouds above, the caged ponies saw a skyship moving in to land nearby. It's hull and balloon were patched in many places, but it was still recognizable as Prince Blueblood's stolen yacht. As it set down with a crunch, a goldenrod colored mare leapt over the side. "Good afternoon!" She greeted, as she ran up to their cage. "You'll have to forgive Lemon, I think he's been wanting to do that for a while now." Taking a chainsaw from... somewhere, the mare set to work on the bars. Shouting to be heard over the grinding of the saw, as well as the distant sounds of Lord Russ introducing Tirek to the business end of a Thunder Hammer, Sunset told them. "Once I've got you out of there, we'll go see Twilight about that box. Easiest way to deal with Tirek!" After that, things went pretty well. Well, aside from the airship crashing into Twilight's li- *Illegible scribbles* On second thought, you don't need to hear about that part. Lemon and I got officially pardoned afterwards, for our actions. Well, more his actions, but I guess the bit with the chainsaw left an impression? Celestia was really shocked to see me, I guess nopony had managed to identify me before then. And that's the story of how I met Leman Russ. ...I'd still like to see what he looks like as a stallion. Wonder if Fluttershy has any pictures? 98.18 (Masterweaver) "Okay, Ah admit Ah was wrong," Apple Bloom said slowly. "Well, half wrong. Getting ya something that big was a mistake." "Mmmhmm." "But it was meant ta play to yer strengths. Music and all that. So, Ah've got another idea." Apple Bloom bit her lip. "Adjustable flashbangs." Vinyl glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. "Go on..." "A normal flash bang is just that, a flash an a bang. But if ya use yer musical talents on one o' them, ya can compress tha sound into a more physical format." "Hmmm. Song grenades..." Vinyl tapped her chin. "I guess my glasses could protect me from the flash part." "Eeeeyup." Apple Bloom nodded. "Now, can ya get me ta stop square dancing? Ah'm having cutie pox flashbacks..."