I looked at the wires in my hands, the car battery at my feet and the boulder at the far end of the field. I turned back to the others, my pseudo wives hiding behind a boulder and watching me work, "You know, people go to school for this kind of stuff!"
Limestone was the first to respond, "It's easy, it's just a bunch of wires--"
"A bunch of wires connected to a bomb!" I snapped, staring at the orange tubes jammed into the far off rock, "And I don't know shit about explosives!"
Marble peaked her head over, her wonderful voice bolstering my courage, "Don't worry Pete! Just finish the circuit, and make sure you're grounded!"
I felt a sudden surge of panic as she finished talking. "What the fuck is grounded!?"
I looked back, watching as Pinkie popped over the rocks, trotting over and sitting with me, "Petey, Peter-"
"Hello."
"Peeeeter, Pete, Pedro-"
"Pinkie stop."
"Petro, Pero, Pierto--"
"Pinkie stop!"
She complied, smiling wide and sitting still. "I promise you, if I feel something weird I'll stop you, okay?"
I looked back down the field. "...Can't I just crack it with my pick?"
Pinkie scoffed, "Pete, that's pure granite! You're not getting into those nice shiny insides without a, bang!"
I looked down at the cables in my hands. "Yeah, but I really don't feel good about this. Winter's almost over...I almost made it through the last week without any accidents, I mean--"
"Peter...less talky, more explody...eee," She shoved me towards the car battery and smiled wide, "Now come on! Let's pop this party favor!"
I felt acid rise into my gullet as I stared down at the battery, "How did you even--"
"Ordered it." Pinkie preempted, a strange smile on her face.
I scratched my head and took a final deep breath, "If I die...well...I guess you can have my arm...." I connected one side of the battery. "Alright...glasses on! And three, two, eeh--" I stuck the wires into place, watching as the far off rock exploded, sending a poof of white smoke and dust high into the air. I felt the blast hit me, knocking me off balance and causing me to do a little Russian jig before falling onto my ass.
I started laughing like a lunatic as the dust settled, myself uninjured. "Ha! Fuck you curse, fuck you rock! Fuck you everything! Wooooo!" I cheered, running over to the rock, the Pie sisters slowly joining me. I ran up to the still smoking boulder and started cheering, "Fucking yes, yes you bitch!"
I pulled my gloves on and yanked a chunk of crumbly chunk of copper and stone out of the smoldering crater. "Look at this! Wooo, suck my dick rocks, suck it!"
Marble trotted over first, "Peter...calm down--"
"No!" I spun around, dropping the copper and turning to my herd, "I- I just blew something up! I fucking felt it hit me, I- I- I, money, new house, copper!" I walked over to Marble, falling to my knees and grabbing her shoulders, "I have such a boner right now."
Marble pulled free, laughing slightly as I felt myself come back down to reality, "That's great Peter...but...you're just a little excited right now--"
"Fuck yeah I am!" I jumped upright, jogging in place, "I blew something up! I didn't blow up, I didn't even get hurt!"
Pinkie cut in, jabbering and spinning her tail like a helicopter blade, "P-e-e-eter, wait!"
I froze, waiting for the all clear. "Pinkie...talk to me here...what's going on!?"
Pinkie bounced past, separating me and Marble, "I-I-I d-d-don't kno-o-o-w!" She stopped suddenly, the pie sisters a few feet away. "Whoa...that was funky."
I stared at her, "Am I clear? We go--" I stopped dead at the sound of crumbling stone. I looked down to see a huge crack forming under my feet. "Oh...fuck my a--" I was cut off, the ground caving beneath me. "Oh my go--" I stopped dead as I landed on my feet.
I just stood there, searing pain making its way through my foot and up my leg. I could feel myself start to cry as a horrid pain overtook my right leg. I just looked up, my foot in mind numbing pain. "Call the nurse...now!"
I watched as the sisters peered over the hole I created, "Pe- oh dear Celestia, go, go go!" Marble yelled, disappearing from my view and adding to my worry. I looked around my sunken prison, a small cave about seven feet deep. It was rather beautiful, covered in an assortment of bright gems and crystals.
It reminded me of a geode, a thick dirt and rock shell with a beautiful crystal inside. I looked up, finding Limestone and Pinkie in utter horror. Even Maud wore a deathly frown. "Hey...Maud...what happened? I don't want to look down."
I could see Maud swallow hard, "There's a crystal through your boot."
I smiled and stared up at the sisters. "Of course there is.... Is it bleeding?"
Limestone let out a rough cough, "Yeah...."
"A lot?"
"Kinda...."
I took a deep breath, trying to keep from screaming. "Maud...I need you to listen, listen really well."
Maud's ears perked up.
"I want you to come down here, and kick me in the head."
Maud's ears went flat. "What?"
Pinkie stood up, "Pete, that's craz--"
"I can't be awake for this! I don't want to see something jutting out of my foot!" I screamed, making the sisters jump, "Please...someone just knock me out...please?"
The sisters left me for a few moments, reconvening and sending Maud down. I watched as she carefully walked over, taking off her steel shoes and turning her back to me. "Peter...are you sure?"
I took a deep breath and made sure my landing was safe. "...Not really...but they're not gonna get me out of this if I have to be awake when the fix me." I watched as Maud took a practice kick, snapping a crystal in half and turning her ass to me, "Maud...I love you."
Maud took a deep breath, "I...love you too." She reared up, kicking me square in the forehead. I felt myself knock out, everything going black as I left my painful world.
I slammed down into a haze as pain filled my mind. I could hear ambient speech, followed by a blissful numb sensation, followed once again by a white hot pain, threatening to break my mind.
I fell into a deep sleep, everything going to shades of grey and numbness.
"Pe-.... Pete-.... Peter wake-...."
"Le-...try. ...Clear--"
I snapped back to reality, jumping upright and letting out an enormous gasp, "Auuuurgh!" I screamed, making a room full of white coats bolt upright, "Fuuuuuck!" I spotted Red Heart screwing with a defibrillator. I started yanking wires and patches off my cheek, arm and hand, "Knock that off god damn it!"
Red Heart stuck her tongue out, "It's on low!"
I glared at her as a man in a coat pushed her aside, "Okay...no more. He might actually die if we do that again." The man pushed Red Heart aside and faced me. "So...what the hell?"
I looked down at my bandage wrapped foot. "Man...don't ask."
The man rubbed his face, "They told me what happened, and I almost turned you away. I thought they were making a joke. Peter got a crystal shoved inside him!" The man shook his head hard, "I mean...this was through your damn foot!"
"Augh, come on. Don't- look...is it fixed?"
The doctor scratched his head, "...No...." he stated with an airy dismissal, "You had something go through your foot. You're out for at least a month or two!"
I stared at the man, "A month!? I- for a--"
The man turned away, finding a few black and white photos, "Dude...check this out." He passed me the photos. "See that? That's a fucking jagged emerald through your foot."
I felt sick as I looked at the pillar jutting through my foot. "God...I just- urk--" I tossed the photo away, "Bucket, bucket!" I held onto the side of the bed as I felt myself start to vomit, "Bucket!?"
The doctor scrambled to find a bin, her threw it to me, showering me in crumpled up papers as I held it to my face. "Oh god--" I lost my composure, spewing a disgusting orange liquid into the bin. "Fu-uuurguh-uck!" Another torrent of bile spewed forth, starting to fill the bin. "Oh dear go--uuurk!"
My mind was going haywire as the image of the crystal four inches through my boot was burning through my head. "God damn it!" I stopped vomiting and held the bucket. "I...Auuugh!"
The doctor nervously took it from me, setting it down and kicking it away, "So...wow...."
I glared at him, "I don't like blood...but that's just- Huragh-- Water...."
"Crap, nurse!? Water! And toothpaste!" The doctor ran off, coming back a minute later with some stuff, "Uh...here...just...bin." he set a bin by my bed and backed off, "Your mares are outside too so...I'll let them clear it up." He walked to the door, "Oh, and...uh.... Be ready, you know about.... Is this your first relationship with a pony?"
I glared at him as I spit a disgustingly minty stew into the bin, "Yes...."
The man chewed his cud, "Well...just...don't touch your foot." He walked out, leaving me and Nurse Red Heart alone.
She turned to me with a mean smile, "He's talking about heat. Breeding season's coming soon."
I finished my cleaning and drank the rest of the water, "What day is it?"
Red Heart smiled, "March third."
I threw myself back down into my bed, "...I missed Winter wrap up didn't I?"
Red Heart shook her head indecisively, "Sort of? You've been in here like a day. But...it's earlier in Ponyville than the Pie estate."
I laid heavy in the hospital bed, "...."
Red Heart's smile slowly faded, "Uh...you okay?"
I lowered my gaze, "No...I wanted to watch it happen...." I rubbed my upper arms, "...Red Heart...can I have a hug?"
Red looked to the door, "Um...I'm...dating someone.... You want me to call your mares?"
I sank into my bed. "Just call Pinkie...."
Red Heart nodded and headed out the door. I turned to the window, finding lush green replacing the white blanket of snow that used to cover the town. "...Damn...."
Pinkie burst into the room, darting over to me and diving into my bed. "Peter! I'm so s--"
I cut her off, wrapping my arms around her neck and pulling her against me, "Pinkie...I'm sad...just...let me do this."
Pinkie just cooed, nearly purring as I pulled her against me, pressing my cheek against her head and enjoying the slightly pudgy texture of her body. "Pinkie...you're fat...."
"Hey!"
"Be quiet...I like it...." I squeezed her side, feeling the slightest squishyness as I held her. It was just enough to be pleasing to the touch, without being gelatinous or worrying. "...Is this from the Cakes?"
Pinkie giggled nervously, "K-kinda...." I let out a small huff as I squeezed her tight. She started giggling like mad as she pulled herself against my head. She snuggled against me and started to slowly control her laughter as I kneaded her body. "Peter...stop it...." Her voice was strangely low, I was familiar with it, from one too many nights with Marble.
I moved my hands from her belly, slowly moving lower. Pinkie stopped laughing as she pulled her head back, staring at me with two bright blue eyes. She pressed her nose against my own, closing her eyes and resting her forehead on my own.
I grabbed a handful of soft supple flank and squeezed it. Pinkie let out a pleased coo, her breath lapping against my upper lip. I enjoyed the smell of her breath, closing my eyes and trying not to yank the IV in my arm.
I closed my eyes and just squeezed her flank, feeling something soft and sweet press against my lips. I shifted one hand up, cradling her head and turning her head to press neatly against my lips.
Pinkie kept it clean, keeping it a simple kiss with a soft moan. I enjoyed it, the fleshy feeling in my hands and the soft loving kiss working in tandem to excite me. I felt myself press against her underside, barely constrained by the thin hospital sheet and the gown.
"Uh...Peter." Marble's soft voice broke the rustling.
I snapped to attention as did Pinkie. We stared at Marble as she walked over, "Uh...Marble...hi...."
Marble just rolled her eyes, "It's fine Peter.... I know how to share...and play nice. But I just wanted to tell you, that cave you found...they're gutting it and building you a house on our property."
I scratched my head. "Wha--"
I was cut off as Pinkie started squealing, kicking my chest with her hooves like mad, "Petey! House, home! You- you- you got--"
I grabbed her hooves to stop her from beating my chest, "Ow! Stop!"
"Sorry...."
I turned to Marble, "So...what's up?"
Marble walked to the side of my bed, "Estimated value of that gem pit you stabbed yourself on it...what did they say.... A million or so...."
I froze, unable to comprehend the number she just said. "...I- so do I just make you money when I bleed!?"
Marble laid her head left and right, "Kind of...."
I scratched my head, laying back into my bed. "So...what are they gonna spend it on?"
Marble tapped her hooves on the floor. "They're building you a small house, they're buying a butt load of new tools, oh...and they're renovating everything." Marble nodded happily, "It should be done by the time you're out of here."
I looked past Pinkie as she settled against my chest. My foot was wrapped up in a myriad of white bandages. "About that, how long do you--"
"A month...maybe five weeks." Marble leaned over the railing of the bed and kissed my shoulder. "And sorry, but we're not gonna be down here much."
I nodded, clutching Pinkie's flank. "Working?"
Marble frowned softly. "Yeah, between the silver, the gems and that copper you found, we're gonna be really busy."
"Alright...I--"
"Well I'm staying!" Pinkie shot in, pressing her crown against my chin, "We can be bestest buddies! Bestest super secret buddies...."
I cocked an eyebrow and held her away, "What--"
"She means sex...." Marble explained, turning to the door. "Well.... Get well soon...I'll visit soon!" Marble walked out, leaving me alone with the bubbly pink mass curled up on my chest.
I settled in, preparing for a horribly long hospital stay.