“Unnngh...” Top Dog twitched, writhed, and stirred. He sat up, only to be clonked hard over the head with a randomly falling rock. “Bark!” he yelped, then rubbed his skull. Snarling, he looked up and around to see that the B-Cubed that he was lying on was on a runaway path of destruction. His angered expression eventually flew to the cockpit.
“Hey Lancie!” a blue figure's voice cracked from within the metal cage. “Check this out!” The pegasus jerked at the controls, and the top turret spun around, its metal arms slashing at rock and stalactites in a twirling fashion. “I can turn this thing into the Ballerina of Ragneighrak! Heh... bet Rarity would have gotten a kick out of that!”
With a hiss, Top Dog reached to his bandolier and struck the button of a remote.
The metal cage to the cockpit popped open with a spray of steam.
“Buh?” Rainbow Dash glanced up. POW! The seat ejected, shooting her like a blue bullet straight up towards the crumbling ceiling of the cavern. “Waaaaaiiiieee!” She miraculously flipped in the air and evened out on gliding wings. As she flew back down towards the B-Cubed's turret, Top Dog's massive fist was waiting.
“Rrrrrrrrgh!” The canine swung.
WHAM!
“Ooof!” Rainbow Dash toppled back and collapsed over the lower portion of the golden vehicle. She tried to sit up—only for a mangy creature to pounce on her fuzzy cheest. “Grkkk!”
Top Dog yanked her head up by her mane and aimed his fist at her muzzle. “You prancing little pony scum! Look what you've done to my beautiful device!” He hissed, “Did you actually think you had what it took to outsmart Top Dog—?!” CLANG! The outstretched metal arm of the craft walloped him on the back of the head during its turn. “Ooof!” He fell to the metal surface beside Rainbow Dash.
“Hahahahahahaha!” Rainbow Dash stood up, sneering down at his pained figure. “Serves you right, ya coconut headed plot sniffer—” CLANG! The second hand swung and clipped Rainbow's skull. “Ouch!”
She flew down onto his chest. Top Dog gasped and grabbed her shoulders. Rainbow grunted and kneed him in the groin. The canine wheezed as he rolled over. The two wrestled and grappled their way across the bottom part of the runaway vehicle as it smashed through wall after stone wall, showering them with dust and pebbles.
At last, the two rolled onto one of the tank treads—which violently rolled them towards the front of the craft. Top Dog panicked and kicked Rainbow Dash's figure with all his might.
“Gnnngh!” Rainbow flew up, twirled agilely through two falling boulders, and grabbed onto the joint of a swinging metal limb.
Top Dog stood up—only to be pummeled milliseconds later by Rainbow Dash as she swung back into his figure. The two toppled onto the center of the craft, then stood up at once—only to have to duck as the drill swung around this time, smashing a chunk of earth out of the gritty wall blurring right by them. Once the debris cleared, they charged each other, exchanging angry punches and bucks.
In the meantime, beneath the quivering shadow of their angry struggle, a dazed minotaur gradually twitched awake. “Mmmmfnnnghh...” One eye opened after the other. “Iron Will doesn't remember slipping a coin into the hotel room bed.” He blinked, staring at the exploding walls of debris all around him. “Whoah! Iron Will did not smell these rocks cooking!” He heard a meaty impact, then looked up in time to see a yelping blue figure soaring over him.
“Guhhh!” Rainbow Dash's rear legs hooked over his horns. She dangled precariously off the bound minotaur's cranium, upside down, her tail in his face. “H-hey!” she spat up saliva and blood as the underground world shattered around them. “You're awake! Cool!”
“Mmfmmffmmff!” Iron Will spat out a few prismatic strands like cat hairs. “Iron Will doesn't remember asking for the stink face!”
“Uh. Yeah. Hold onto that thought.” Then, with a concentrated snarl, Rainbow Dash pulled herself up by her lower leg muscles and delivered a hoof across Top Dog's face. She leapt off Iron Will's horn and pounced on the canine as the two went sprawling across the rumbling body of the B-Cubed.
“The pony has ruined everything!” Top Dog hissed, his shades having cracked down the center. “This did not have to involve the sun horse's kingdom!”
“Bite your tongue!” Rainbow growled, wrestling with his limbs. “I heard your villainous monologue! You want to put everything that isn't you in the proverbial doghouse!”
“Well, maybe the world deserves to be topped by this dog!”
“Yeesh! Is everything a bad promo to you?!” Rainbow Dash knee'd him in the chest and swung her right forelimb's elbow across his chin.
“Aaaugh! Grrrr-raaaaugh!” Top Dog flipped her up and off of him.
Rainbow Dash grabbed the first thing she could—which turned out to be the drill of the B-Cubed's swinging arm.
With a bloody smirk, Top Dog tapped a button on the control attached to his bandolier.
The drill began spinning and—by virtue of being attached to it—so did Rainbow.
“Whoah! Whoah! Whoah-whoah-whoah-whoah-woah!” Rainbow swiftly became a horizontal blue blur.
“Heheheheh...” Top Dog stood up, cracking the joints in his neck as he then remotely aimed the drill-arm towards the next wall of the cavern they were barreling through. “Face it, pony. You were destined to become rainbow paste...”
Iron Will caught this out the side of his vision. Gritting his teeth, he flexed his biceps and struggled against the chains. “Come on, Iron Will... Iron it up!” Veins popped in his neck as he hissed and fought his restraints. “Rrrrggghhhh—Time... to tag in...”
Top Dog let loose a wheezing laugh as he aimed the drill straight towards the wall. Just then, the weight of the B-Cubed shifted. Blinking, he looked at a muscular figure bounding towards him. “Oh no...”
“Oh yeahhhh!” Iron Will gave him a fist full of minotaur. WHUD!
Top Dog fell to the surface of the tank. His bandolier rattled.
With a click of the remote, the drill stopped spinning. Rainbow Dash was launched off the thing like a missile. “Whoahhhh—”
Iron Will stood above Top Dog, flexing his muscles and smirking despite his multiple bruises. “Ya feel that righteous teeth crusher?! Ohhhhh whatcha gonna do when—” Rainbow figure ricocheted off his shoulders. “Augh! Iron Will Damn It!”
All three combatants went sprawling across the vehicle. Meanwhile, Top Dog's remote got caught in the tire treads. It rolled down the front of the craft, shattering completely under the machine's golden weight. As a result, the entire vehicle went haywire, jerking back and forth in a zig-zag pattern that sent it sprawling through wooden bridges, splashing aqueducts, and multiple mining caverns.