//------------------------------// // Let Her Go // Story: Deep Silence // by TheUndiscoveredPony //------------------------------// I let out a jagged breath as I come to a stop, finishing my routine with my teammates, Spitfire, Fleetfoot and Surprise. The day has been hot and humid, leaving us in sweat coated fur. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart from all the work I did. And boy, was it a workout today! We spent hours perfecting our Tailslide for our next show which is when we do 1/4 looping up, straight vertical (full power) until our wings lose momentum. Then our bodies fall backwards, tail first, until our nose drops through the horizon to a vertical down position. We finish by doing 1/4 loop to recover to our natural level of flight. “Soarin! Stop slacking around and get to over here! We’re having a meeting!” My special somepony shouts to me. She has a set of lungs for sure. “I’m coming Spitfire! I just wanted to get water!” I answer back. I was actually getting a piece of pie because I was hungry from the workout but shh… Don’t tell Spitfire, she would kill me if she knew. She got me to stop my addiction for awhile but I can’t resist the temptation of the sweet tasting apples, and the melting of cinnamon in your mouth. Mhmm… “SOARIN!” Spitfire angrily shouts. Oh Celestia! I better get flying! I race to the other side of the field where the meetings at and let out a breath as I land. “I’m here now, okay?” I tell Spitfire, looking directly in her eyes. They were a brilliant orange that captivated you like a burning fire. They also held so much a authority and strength that it took my breath away. I was glad she was mine, I thought as a goofy smile plastered my face. “Hey Soarin!” Fleetfoot, my best friend, says, startling me and successfully bringing me out of my daze. “Hey Fleetfoot!” I greet her, recovering from my surprise. “How have you been?” I ask her since I’ve been with Spitfire a lot this week so I missed hanging out with my bestfriend. “I’ve been better,” Fleetfoot says sadly while an unknown emotion passes through her eyes but just as I was figuring it out she speaks up, “So, who have you been doing for the past week?” Fleetfoot knew I was a player since she is my best friend. I’m the total playboy but since I met Spitfire, I’ve changed. Cliche, I know? But she’s one of a kind and I’m already falling for her. “Ah nopony, I finally found a mare to settle down with…” I vaguely say, trying to avoid telling Fleetfoot who I’m dating. “Oh,” Fleetfoot says disappointed. Wait, disappointed? Why would she be disappointed? My thoughts were interrupted by Fleetfoot’s next sentence. “Congratulations on settling down! At least there is one mare in Equestria that could tame your playboy ways.” She finishes enthusiastically with a fake smile on her face. I could clearly see that she was upset but I didn’t know why. “What’s wrong?” I ask her, taking her hoof in mine. She blushes red but they tears our hooves apart before flying off in a rush. “Fleetfoot!” I call out to her but she doesn’t turn around, leaving me so confused on the matter. “Soarin, honey. What’s wrong?” Spitfire appears on my side while running her nose lightly on my coat. I sigh and turn towards her. “Fleetfoot’s upset and I don’t know why…” I say defeatedly. Fleetfoot used to tell me everything and used to hang out all the time. We were pretty much born flank to flank. Ever since that fateful day when I met her and shared my juice box, we have been best friends. Flashback- “MOM! I don’t wanna go to school!” I screamed at my mom. She sighed and stop pressuring me to go after that. My mom had signed me up for school in Cloudsdale and it wasn’t that I didn’t want to go… I was just scared to go. “Honey,” My mom said gently to me while turning my body to face her. “I know you're scared Soarin but you’ll make plenty of friends! You’ll be a better flyer and become a Wonderbolt like your father and you’ll learn so much honey!” She finished with a huge smile. “But mom! What if it doesn’t happen like that? I’m going to be humiliated and bullied…” I tried one more time to fight my mom but it didn’t work. She just gave the ‘Are you serious?’ look and I gave up. “Fine,” I grumbled to my mom. She always used to win the fights and I always ended up doing whatever she said to do. “Great! Now your saddlebags are in front of the door, they have everything you need for the day. A lunch, books, pencils and a water bottle since I know you're going to be flying.” She says proudly. My mom was right about the flying part, I was heading to Cloudsdale MS, one of the best flying schools ever made. “Bye mom! See you tonight!” I called out to her before grabbing my saddlebags and heaving them on my back. I quickly opened the door and slipped out, to finally go flying to my new school. By the time I got there, the first bell rang and I headed straight for my first class. As I entered, the first thing I noticed was a filly sitting in the back of the class. She had bright fisua eyes with a light grey mane and an arctic blue coat. She was a beautiful filly. “Take a seat Soarin,” the teacher said while looking at her list to make sure that was my name. I nod and head to an empty seat which happened to be next to the beautiful filly. “Hey,” I said to the filly when I got to my seat but she didn’t look up from the book she was reading and I took it as a sign as not to bother her. Class went really slow but they finally let us out for recess at 15 before 10. It was then that I really got to know the filly in my class. She was being bullied by some jerks. “Leave me alone!” She cried out to them with her juice box in her hoof. “Watcha’ gonna do, little filly?” They taunted her while circling her, trapping her in the process. I started to get angry because nopony should be treated like that. “Lea-leave me-me al-al-alone,” she stuttered in fear, they only laughed and continued. One of them had the nerve to hit her hoof and send the juice box flying in my direction but I quickly dodged it. “Oh you gonna cry?” The bully said with fake pity. I just exploded and rammed myself into him. He was surprised and looked fearful at me. “Leave her alone! Go bully somepony else!” I shouted at him in the face. He just nodded and flew away as quickly as possible. “Than-Thank yo-you!” She said still a bit shaken up a bit. “Your welcome,” I said with a big smile. She smiled back and walked towards her now empty juice box. When it hit the clouds, it splattered everywhere. “I’m sorry for your juicebox but I have one. We could share it, if you want?” I ask her looking into her eyes. They were such a pretty colour and she looked like she could be a great friend. “Thank you, and my names Fleetfoot.” She said gratefully to me. “Well, my names Soarin and I know we’re gonna be best friends!” I said gleefully. My mom was right and shes been my best friend since that moment. End of Flashback “Soarin?” Spitfire asks unsurely. I shake my head, letting the memories seep back into my brain. I stare at her for the longest time until I realize that my best friend needs me. She left upset and I need to comfort her. I shouldn't be with my special somepony that I only got together a week ago, I should be with Fleetfoot, my best friend since like forever. “I gotta go…” I mumble before taking off and heading towards Fleetfoot’s office in our Wonderbolt building. “Fleetfoot!” I call out when I get there but no answer so I call again, “Fleetfoot!” But nothing and worry starts to settle in the pit of my stomach. The door to her office is open so I head straight in but all I find is a bare room with nothing in it. Tears spring from my eyes and I try hard to keep them at bay but one escapes and it trails down my cheek. Taking a deep breath, I walk around the room and nothing is in it except a desk and chairs but then all of a sudden, I trip over something. Groaning, I lift myself up and look for what I tripped over. When I grab hold of it, I find that its Fleetfoot’s Journal. Deciding on whether or not to open it, I quickly take a risk and open it. I gasp at the entry I opened. It was a couple of months after we met.. It was an amazing day! Soarin has finally shown some interest in me and actually held my hoof! I skim through the rest of the entry because its very long but stop and read one particular line that caught my eye. I’m glad he’s the one I’m falling for… She was in love with me and probably still is… That’s why she must have of been so disappointed and sad. I feel horrible.. As fast as I can, I skip near the end to about a week ago. Soarin has been disappearing a lot this week and missing our hang outs. He’s been distant and I want to tell him that I’m hanging on by a thread with this friendship. I’m too scared and he doesn’t even notice my change in behavior. I used to feel like this was home in the Wonderbolts with Soarin but half the time this doesn't feel like home anymore. I feel like he would be happier with me not around because he has whoever he’s been hanging out with. Everyday, I am either really angry or really depressed or an extreme both. I know if I leave I am gonna be miserable, and not have the life and potential that I can have but I'm not happy by being here. I honestly don't know how long I can hold on to this when I'm reaching but no one is reaching back. I don't feel loved or wanted or needed. It's pretty bad when all I want to do is sleep or be alone just to get away from what I'm feeling. I've been through some pretty shitty times and felt some pretty bad emotions but I have never felt them this strongly. I have never felt so angry or depressed in my life. They are always all over each other and I'm left in the dark and it's too much. I've noticed when Soarin is around Spitfire, he looks happier and I wish he wasn’t like that. I’m jealous and angry that they are keeping secrets. I’m also very sad but I just get so angry that I can't do ANYTHING to make me feel better. I want to get away and scream and tear at things and throw things. I don't know what to do anymore. I’m lost. I feel like crying now but I go to her last entry and it’s there that I start to cry. I’m leaving today. I already resigned and I plan to tell Soarin after practice but I’m not sure he’s going to be upset. He’s looked happier this past week than ever. Maybe I should just leave and never come back. I’m sorry Soarin but it hurts too much to be around you and I need to get way… It wasn’t finished and I let my tears pour out as reality sunk in. She left me and is never coming back. I’m the reason she left and its all my fault. How could I be so foolish and let Spitfire come between us, she was the one. Not Spitfire. I close her journal after the realisation and a paper falls out. It’s her poem- Will you be mine? Filled with so much love My heart beats for you Soaring like a dove I never feel blue The skip of a rock My heart stops Looking at you I smile as my queue You free me from my world Letting me soar the skies Always tethered to you I always return When I see you I can’t close my eyes All I want to do is say I care about you But you won’t do anything You’ll stand and stare Wait for me to say its a joke But its how I feel I care for you I wish you were here with me Me in your arms Always there to cherish me And keep me safe in your arms It really hurts To know what the truths about Don’t make me shout out The pain gets worse You leave me so insecure Yet so confident So happy Yet so sad In the wraths of the world, I am alone; Not hearing any hellos from you Wishing on every star To hear 8 letters, 3 syllables and one sentence from you Although on your phone you ignore Never answering my texts Leaving my emails unopened I wait for you next to my door You don’t care for my feelings They were not to be stepped on While I’m healing I can’t help but think if you have forgotten me I don’t know if you care Or if you have feelings for me I know I wish for a you and me But its like wishing for a golden apple to grow from a tree Black and white are the colours I see Life seems so plain and dull I’m so tired and drained I remain an empty shell I lead a fake life Plastering a smile I pretend to be okay But I'll never be okay I’ll only heal my heart in time For now, I understand my mistakes I need to let you go And move on Even in the midst of my life, my heart still beats for you I wish on every star in the night Sing every love song And pray for you to be mine I love you, Will you ever be mine? As soon as I finished the poem, I knew it was about me. It tore my heart apart and I cursed at my ignorance. I needed to talk to her and tell her exactly how I feel. The feelings I have buried for so long, have finally resurfaced and I need to go. It was a Friday so we would always hang out on the hill near our buildings. We never have missed a hang out so she should be there, I hope. I left a minute later and arrived at the hill only seconds later but Fleetfoot was nowhere to be found. All my hope vanished and I crashed to the ground, sobbing. She was gone. Truly gone and I will never get the chance to tell her how I feel. To tell her that sentence of 8 letters and 3 syllables. I’m sorry Fleetfoot for my mistakes. “I love you Fleetfoot, forever and always.” I whispered to the fading sun but I realized something while looking at the sunset, I needed to let her go. If she truly loved me, she would come back one day and we’ll be together forever. “Goodbye, we’ll meet again one day.” I finally finished with a whisper and took one last look at the sun before turning around and walking back home.