The night was beautiful and full of stars. The air cooled rapidly, going from sweltering heat to freezing cold, but the sand stayed warm. Fireflies winked as they flitted about. The foals played, running about, shouting, finally getting their excessive energy out from being cooped up inside all day. Even Graves had joined in, playing tag with the others.
Noctilucent pondered his place in life, trying to rationalise and comes to terms with his servitude. His mind struggled to come up with reasons on why he should be angry, and while he could think of a few, he could no longer seem to muster up the anger. Failing to become angry, he angled his head and kissed the foal slung from his neck and tried to think about things he should be thankful for instead.
The letter writing had been a total bust, but he still had tomorrow.
The foal, having had a bottle some time ago, announced her discomfort with foal formula with an impossibly loud belch that filled the air with the stench of rotten eggs, followed by further acts of gastro-intestinal discomfort.
Noctilucent patiently kissed her again, his nose crinkling, and waited for the worst to pass. It seemed like a good philosophy for life. He tried to think of reasons to keep going, to keep living, so he could weigh them against all the reasons he had for dying. It was a lopsided process, as he found that he had trouble thinking about thoughts about actually killing himself. Every time he tried, he found himself thinking about the foal around his neck instead. He had trouble understanding if it was Princess Luna’s magic or if he was perhaps emotionally invested in the foal. He didn’t feel any magical compulsion, and he had always felt it before when it took place.
Holly was sprawled in a reclining lawn chair reading a book by hornlight, trying to finish the last chapter before the library wagon arrived.
“You are like a little shortbread cookie,” Noctilucent said. “Just sweet enough to be a cookie, but not too sweet. I hate sweets,” Noctilucent confessed.
The foal gurgled in reply.
“I think I like you,” Noctilucent whispered. “I can talk to you and you will keep my secrets, won't you?” the midnight blue and white dappled pegasus asked. “And no matter what I tell you, you will not hate me for the awful things I’ve done.”
The foal farted in reply, wiggled a bit in discomfort, and then went still once again, content to watch the world go by.
Noctilucent looked up at the vast cluster of stars in the sky known as “Stallion’s Seed” and sighed. His own pelt was dotted with stars, or so his grandmother had said. He missed her terribly. She kept him leveled off, she had kept him happy, she was the external force he had needed to keep his life in balance. And she was gone.
Noctilucent wasn’t sure that he had an internal force that could keep him happy. The thought frightened him a great deal. Something had to keep him happy. Something had to motivate him to stick around. Something had to motivate him to keep him healthy, in both body and mind.
Holly finished her book and was now watching the foals. It was now cold enough to see everyponies’ breath, and Noctilucent wondered if the foal was warm enough. He pressed his chin against the top of her head and tried to keep her as close to him as possible, stretching out his good wing and wrapping it around her.
It left his side cold, but he could live with that if he had to.
The foals abandoned their game and began to squeal as a figure came around the corner of the orphanage pulling a wagon, pulling directly into the back yard. The foals mobbed the white unicorn, jumping up and down, and shouting “hello.” Even Holly got up from her lawn chair and said hello.
And Noctilucent stayed right where he was, feeling awkward and out of place. He would find a book once the crowd quieted down.
The new unicorn was the whitest white unicorn he had ever seen, with dark green hair in her mane and tail. She practically glowed in the moonlight. A strange lump rose up into his throat while he watched her.
Noctilucent suddenly felt very confused. He remained where he was, keeping his foal warm, saying nothing, and doing everything he could to not draw attention to himself, doing what he had always done, being a perfect background pony.
The white unicorn unhitched herself from the wagon, hugged Holly warmly, and then watched as the foals mobbed the wagon looking for books. Noctilucent could see the white unicorn and Holly talking to one another, but could not hear what was being said. The two seemed quite friendly.
Graves let out an exalted cry of triumph, probably about finding some book that interested him. Cactus was now sitting with the two unicorn mares, staring sightlessly at nothing off in the distance. The other foals remained around the wagon, even Arroyo was looking for something. Picture books were also popular for a reason.
Noctilucent’s decent evening was ruined quite suddenly when both mares stood up and began to walk in his direction. He whimpered faintly, feeling a faint bit of panic. He wasn’t in the mood to meet new ponies right now. It had been a trying day, and he was emotionally unsettled.
Both mares drew closer.
Breaking his wing was the stupidest thing he had ever done, Noctilucent realised that now. He could fly away. Land on a roof. Continue his peaceful quiet vigil. But no, he was ground bound. Pegasi lived to fly, and a pegasus without flight wasn’t much of a pegasus at all.
“Oh bugger,” Noctilucent whined.
“Noctilucent, dear, this is Quercus Alba. She pulls the library wagon and occasionally helps out here. Everypony calls her Quirky,” Holly said, introducing the mare. “Quirky, this is Noctilucent, our new resident caretaker and foal sitter as you can see,” Holly said, finishing her introduction.
“Night Shining,” Quirky said, looking thoughtful. “Pleased to meet you.”
“Old language…” Noctilucent said, or attempted to, if his words hadn’t died halfway through his sentence.
“My name means ‘white oak’ in the old language,” Quirky explained. “Is something wrong?”
Noctilucent didn’t know how to respond. Yes, he replied internally, there is something wrong. What came out however was far less eloquent.
“Bluh,” Noctilucent mumbled.
Holly rolled her eyes and looked away. She was getting too old for this kind of foolishness. The pegasus was clearly a bird brain.
“I beg your pardon?” Quirky asked.
“Blerph,” Noctilucent answered, choking on his own tongue. The white unicorn with the green mane was strangely distracting.
“Excuse me, but did you just say “blerph” to me?” Quirky asked, smiling faintly, a merry twinkle in her eye.
Noctilucent shook his head ‘no’ and gave up on attempting to speak.
“Quirky here is going to help us out by teat-feeding the foal. I have some potions downstairs for this sort of thing. This is her first time. I would, but I am getting old, I am sterile, and the magic doesn’t work well on me. I produce bitter milk,” Holly said, her tone full of old regret and a hint of bitterness. “Once the foals wear themselves out and are put to bed, we’ll go downstairs and see what we can do.”
The flighty blue pegasus, who already had intimacy issues, very nearly shut down at the mention of teat feeding. His mouth went as dry as the desert sand, and, whatever force that drove his consciousness stepped out of its office for a moment for a breather. Noctilucent sat in the sand staring blankly for a moment, unable to do much of anything.
“Are you alright?” Quirky asked, leaning in closer.
No, I am not alright Noctilucent replied silently. What actually came out: “Flurplenumble,” Noctilucent stammered.
“Well, it is good to see the Crown taking such a socially conscious approach towards hiring the simple minded,” Quirky said, suddenly looking very serious.
“I don’t know what has come over him. Usually he’s well spoken,” Holly said. “Did you hit your head or something when your wing was broken? Should I contact Princess Luna?”
“That foal is adorable,” Quirky said, seemingly unconcerned about the now simple minded idiot sitting in the sand. She leaned forward and nuzzled her snoot against the foal’s snoot, and Noctilucent got a whiff of her mane.
He very nearly fell over.
“You are acting really peculiar Noctilucent, you are starting to worry me,” Holly said, looking genuinely concerned. “I think I’ll sit here with you and keep an eye on you for a while while the foals play.”
“And I am going to play with the foals,” Quirky said, turning around and taking off, her mane and tail streaming out behind her in the night breeze as she departed.
“I guess Shady Patch didn’t feel up to walking with her on her rounds tonight,” Holly said to herself. She situated herself beside Noctilucent, who was staring vacantly ahead. Holly gently nuzzled the foal and then sat, looking somewhat concerned for Noctilucent, who didn’t seem well.
When the foals had ran themselves out, they were herded downstairs, tucked into bed, each one of them kissed by Holly. Quirky was in Holly’s room, she had drank the potion a short while ago, and was now waiting for it to kick in so she could feed the foal.
Noctilucent stood in the hallway, the foal still around his neck, occasionally dozing in its sling.
Holly closed the door most of the way and stepped into the hall with Noctilucent. She gestured, using her head, for Noctilucent to follow her into her room. He did, and Holly pulled the foal from the sling.
Quirky was on Holly’s bed, reclining comfortably on her side, looking somewhat bored. “I don’t know about this, my teats are so sensitive and ticklish,” she confessed with a hint of a giggle.
Holly settled the foal on to the bed beside Quirky, positioning her so she could suckle. Noctilucent watched all of this with wide eyed curiousity. And then, his brain broke.
He turned to depart the room in a hurry, his eyes now closed. He slammed into the wall next to the door, missing the door completely. He bounced away and then fell on his plot, his nose now bleeding.
Holly sighed, turned him around, and then pressed a cloth she conjured up to his nose. Noctilucent kept his eyes shut tightly as Holly tried to stop the blood flow.
“You didn’t have to leave, I am not modest about this sort of thing, and you seem nice enough for being a simple minded idiot,” Quirky said to the bleeding pegasus.
Noctilucent opened his eyes and looked at Quirky. He saw the foal suckling. He didn’t know what he was seeing. Deep within his brain, his Id took a piece of chalk, drew a door upon the barn, made it real, and then kicked it wide open, causing Noctilucent’s brain to flood with all manner of feelings and emotions. His Id, feeling pleased with itself, went off into Noctilucent’s subconscious and went looking for a can of paint.
Holly looked at Noctilucent, watching him stare, and something went off in her own brain. “Aw, how sweet, you’re innocent… you’re a virgin aren’t you?” Holly questioned, her voice embarrassingly mother-like as she spoke.
Noctilucent wanted to flee the room again, but Holly had his nose carefully pinched in a cloth and he didn’t want to bleed everywhere.
“Do you think I am a pretty unicorn?” Quirky asked, fluttering her eyelashes at the flustered pegasus.
“Oh don’t tease Quirky, that’s mean, look at how he’s been acting. I told you something wasn’t right,” Holly said, her tone still motherly.
“Do I really fluster you that badly?” Quirky asked.
“Wyeth,” Noctilucent replied around the cloth clamped over his nose.
“So, “yes.” Well, that is good to know,” Quirky replied. “I’m flattered. Usually all I get are lecherous old stallions saying lewd things and giving me much unwanted invites.”
“Thimethorry,” Noctilucnet mumbled.
“Don’t be sorry,” Quirky said as the foal continued to get a good meal. She giggled and squirmed a bit. “Oh gosh that tickles.”
“Aw, you’re so young and sweet,” Holly gushed, now treating Noctilucent like a foal.
Noctilucent silently fumed as Holly wrapped a foreleg around his withers and hugged him.
“I’ll be by early in the morning too,” Quirky said. “By then I should have a lot of milk right? Is there a pump for some extra during the day? I’ll try to stop by tomorrow night as well.”
“You are very kind Quirky. Thank you so much. That poor foal didn’t take well to formula,” Holly said with gratitude. She pulled away the cloth from Noctilucent’s nose and saw the trickle had subsided. She gently wiped away the rest of the blood, folded the cloth, and set it on her desk for the time being.
“Shortbread Cookie,” Noctilucent said, licking his lips nervously.
“What?” Holly asked.
“The foal. Shortbread Cookie,” Noctilucent replied.
“Oh!” Holly gasped. “That’s lovely.”
“That is a good name for an earth pony, I am sure she’d appreciate having a good name,” Quirky agreed. “Say, Noctilucent, when I am done here, there is a diner up the road. Want to get some pie?”
Noctilucent said nothing, but looked at Holly, unsure how to answer.
“He’d love to,” Holly said. “Go on, I’ll be fine here for a while all by myself. I’m a big mare.”