(For those who don't know this is from willy wonka and the chocolate factory... They all can't be winners lol)
Chapter 11
Barking Up the Wrong Tree
I wander aimlessly throughout town trying to avoid talking to ponies the best I can. Dealing with somepony right now is not what I need. When I stop and looked around I see I wondered over to AJ’s place. I remember there is a small lake near here a little ways from the tree line. So I decided to head there figuring that would be a good place to clear my head and try to get past this.
The walk was uneventful; it mostly consisted of me thinking about how much it hurt to have to let Rarity go. I am aware I have a habit of being hard on myself and this was no exemption. I let my selfishness of how I feel… felt about her, cause her to be hurt. After my whole greed growth incident I promised myself I would do everything I can to not hurt the girls or anyone I care about. It seems that I failed that pretty hard.
I finally make it to the lake and it was just what I wanted. It was off the main road, down an old dirt path. The lake was surrounded by trees with a small cliff perfect for diving off of, not that I am in the mood to do a belly flop right now. The water shimmered through the trees. It was the perfect quite place to just sit and think.
Once I found a good spot in the shade I lie down and rest my head down on my paws. I close my eyes and listen to the wind whistling through the trees and blades of grass. With my body now at peace I just had to try to get my mind and heart at rest as well.
When I think about the situation it was clear I didn’t have a chance with Rarity. I mean I spend years going after her and helping her and never
saw any signs that she wanted a relationship. This was clear but I still felt that I had a chance since she never turned me down outright.
To admit that I didn’t have a chance with her would also mean that I would have to also admit that I wasted all that time chasing her and trying to get her to love me. All those wasted days off, afternoons, all that sweat and pain I went through to impress her and show her I am worth her time meant nothing.
When I thought of this I started to get angry. I know it wasn’t rational to get angry over this but when has anyone been completely rational when upset. Just why would she keep leading me on if she knew how I felt and knew she didn’t feel the same way. She could have told me and it would have been done years ago.
As I grew angrier I stood up and started pacing back and forth snarling. I bet she kept me going for the free labor and to have a little yes man to do what she wanted at the drop of a hat. I might as well dye my face orange and start singing ‘Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-do’ as I waddled around her shop.
I started to feel my flames dance on my mouth as I build into an even bigger rage. That didn’t register to me though all I could see was red while my fury towards the one that wronged me. What right does she have to treat me like I am some slave or lackey, I deserve better than that!
My pacing leaded me right in front of a tree. I lash out at with by striking it with my claws. Watching as my sharp claws dig into the bark like it was tissue paper and shred away as I swipe my paw away felt good. I do it again and get a release of all of this pent up rage I had in me as I savagely maul the tree.
While I tear into the helpless tree my mind just wouldn’t leave Rarity. Once again I had to spare her feelings and left myself to suffer so she could have it easier. Why did I do it? Why did I let myself be the only one to feel pain while she gets away feeling better?
I should be allowed to be happy for once. Every time something makes me feel good it is taken away from me. Everypony else is allowed to enjoy themselves but I am not, all I get is to feel the pain of what I have to put up with!
My strikes become even more viscous as the fire in my mouth grows even larger engulfing my whole muzzle only my sharp rage filled eyes can be seen through the flames. The tempo of my strike pick up to a frantic pace, wood is going flying all around me as I mutilate the tree before me.
I could take what I want. What can stop me from doing what will make me happy!? No one cares about what I want or desire so I have to watch out for myself. What I care about, I will fight to the death to protect what I claim. What I want is my freedom from all of this pain that I am feeling. I am Spike and I deserve just as much happiness as any pony. I am a DRAGON and I will take what I want!!
As this thought busted from my mind I felt the tree start to give way. I stopped my assault and stepped to side and looked at what I did while I was in my frenzy. There was the tree more than half way cut through with devastating claw marks covering it. With the slight breeze now blowing I watch as the thick mightily tree comes crashing down in front of me.
Looking down at the damage I have done I felt no remorse at the tree I have cut down. And why should I? I am a dragon I can do what I want, when I want, who has the right to tell something more powerful then it what to do. If I want Rarity, why shouldn’t I go there right now and….
“NOOOO” I shout out loud as I run to the nearest tree and hop on my hind legs. I then began to bang my head against it. Each blow is a devastating thunk as I bash my head against it with full force to try to clear these thoughts out of my head. I knew what this was; these were my dragon instincts trying to take hold.
I strike my head against the thick tree seeing some bark go flying in the air from the impact of my head. There is no way I am going to let them take over; I won’t become a monster from this. How pathetic would it look if I lose all these years of control just from a mare not liking me back? I won’t put my friends in danger by letting this part of me out to do as it pleases.
Through my head banging ball I had going on I was able to hear some rustling in the bushes behind me. I stop my self-abuse and turn towards the source of the sound. It looks like I might have overdone it with my head-butting cause I can see a trail of blood running down my face but that didn’t matter right now.
“Who is there? Show yourself!” I shout not really in the mood to have to tangle with another timberwolf or something.
“Just relax will’ya it is only me,” Out of the bushes walks out Winona. She immediately start to look at the mess I have caused and the sorry state I am in. “ I don’t know if you missed it but this is a part of my territory you are standing on.”
“Sorry about trespassing Winona I just needed some time alone that’s all.” I relax from my combative stance and started to sit back on my hind legs. I want wipe the blood off of my face as I wait for the wound to hurry up and close.
“And apparently have it out for trees,” Winona started to walk towards me to the dissected tree lying on the ground. “You must have some real anger issues to be able to do this.”
*sigh* “You could say that,” I couldn’t look at her for I still felt slightly ashamed for almost letting my dragon side take over me. “I have some pent up aggression I kind of had to get out.”
Winona then walked over to me and hopped up on her hind legs and put her paws on my head tilting it down so she could get a good look at the cut on my for head right on the side of my fin. She seemed to be looking, trying to see how bad the cut is. It was slightly still tender but I could tell it was already healing and wouldn’t be too long before it was closed all the way.
“An does this have to do with that aggression of your as well?” She asks me as she lets go of my head figuring the cut isn’t that bad.
“What this,” I try to look up at my forehead as I point to the cut with my paw. “Naww I got this wanting to add more fiber in my diet but forgetting to eat for a while.” I give a smile trying to make light of my little melt down I just went through.
Winona seems not convinced as she lifted the corner of her mouth and raised an eyebrow showing she thought what I was saying was bull. She walked over to me and gave me a light smack on the back of the head. It really didn’t hurt but I still leaned forward and started to rub the stop that she hit.
“How about ya tell me what really is wrong before I drag your purple rear off my land.” She then takes a seat in front of me showing she isn’t going anywhere till I tell her what is wrong and nether am I. The look of pure determination she gave me was something I couldn’t really stand against. I can see how she makes such a good herder.
“You must get that attitude from AJ,” I give a small halfhearted chuckle. “I am just going through some relationship issues right now.” Though now that I think of it I don’t think relationship is the right word since we were never together in the first place.
“So you have having problems with your mate then. What did you do, look at another dog, or call her fat or something?” I can see that the last one really seemed to bug her. I’ll have to remember to not comment on her weight. I guess some things are cross species for females.
“No nothing like that. Trust me those I could deal with. My issue is the one I like doesn’t like me even though I spent three years going after them. I found out that this whole time they knew how I felt and didn’t tell me. Instead of hurting my feelings by turning me down she just kept it bottled up and it was hurting her doing so. So when I found out I told her I was over her a while ago and I saw her as a good friend.” I keep looking down not willing to meet her gaze for I knew they would be eyes filled with sympathy and that is the last thing I want.
I hear some movement coming from Winona. She stood up and walked over to me. She placed a paw on my shoulder and gave me a pat. This is just what I would aspect AJ to do in this situation I laugh to myself. Winona really did pick up a lot of things living with the Apple family.
“It’s alright. I am sure it must hurt but at least you know now. Would you rather be still in the dark and have you both suffering like you were before? At least now you know and put things in motion so you both can move on.” She gives me a small smile as she lifts her paw off of me and stands back up.
“Yea I mean I know you are right, but still. Once again I am the one that has to give up something, lose what is important to me, or just plain go without to make sure others aren’t hurt. It is tiring. I don’t have my own life because I am always working for others. Is it so bad that I just want something to work out for me?” I know that sounded a little like a child’s tantrum but this has been building for too long and this is my first chance to let it out.
“That is what a protector does. They sometime have to go without to make sure those they care about are safe. The pain that their loved ones would bare you takes it on yourself to spare them. It sounds like you have done this a lot for them. You shouldn’t feel upset or angry for this, be proud, be proud that you do so much to protect those you care for so deeply, that you would suffer so much for them.” Winona looked me dead in the eyes the whole time she was talking; she was doing her best to drive her point home to me.
“Thanks that means a lot but even with me protecting all of my friends and family I want to have my own life. I want to do things for myself. I don’t want to live my life in another' shadow; I want to stand on my own two… four paws and tackle life head on.” I stand up to my full height as I try to think of the life I want to have. Even though I can’t think of anything at the moment I do know I don’t want to spend my life in their shadows. I will still always be there for them no matter what but I want to have my own life going on as they lives theirs.
“You sound better at least. No more whining like a little pup that just lost his first crush. I mean you are what like 2 or 3 years old. You can’t go crying over a mate that isn’t even yours. There are more out there then you can shake a stick at. Just don’t really shake a stick at them or they will bite your ass.” This caused both of us to start laughing at the thought of me having to try to protect my rear from becoming some female dog’s chew toy.
“Funny but I am really 18 years old. You don’t have to worry I am not planning on shacking a stick in anyone’s face.” This put a grin on my face but it was quickly replaced with a puzzled look at the shocked expression on Winona face.
“You are 88 years old in dog years. How are you still so young and fit,” She ask me as she looks me over trying to see anything that shows my age. “I have been meaning to ask you, what breed are you anyway? You look nothing like any breed I know of.”
“I am a cross between a dragon and a dog. So I will live for hundreds of thousands of years if not longer. There hasn’t been another of my kind before so there is no way of knowing but it is sure I will live for a long time.” I watch the shocked look slowly leave her face but she still had a look of wonderment in her eyes.
“Well that is a new one for sure.” She then started to slowly start to walk around me sniffing me. This took me by surprised and caused me to stand up and back away from her slightly.
“Huh, Winona what are you doing?” I ask her as she sniffs around my neck and side.
“I am familiarizing myself with your scent and giving you a proper greeting,” as she keep sniffing me she pulls away. “Aren’t you going to smell me as well?” She sounded genuinely confused by my hesitating to shove my face in her rear.
“NO no I am good thank you though, I will stick to just saying hi.” I say trying to conceal the slight blush on my face at the thought of shoving my face into her.
“Am I not good enough to be greeted by you Mr. DragonDog?” Her tone clearly showed she was irritated by my lack of manners in her, well, I guess our culture. I guess I will have to bite the bullet and start brown nosing.
I then start to sniff her. Hate to admit it she had an interesting scent to her that I couldn’t place. One I started sniffing her I couldn’t stop, it was like a whole other set of instincts took over that weren’t my dragon ones.
My sniffing spree came to an abrupt end when she shoved her snout into my rear. I figure this must be payback on some cosmic level for all those times I was working with Rarity I would stare at her flank.
I started to feel uncomfortable I saw her maneuver so that her rear was in range for me to sniff. My logical part of my brain did not want me to stick my nose in her rusty wagon wheel. But my canine urges told me I really didn’t have a chose in the matter.
Once the dirty deed was done I to my surprise it calmed down my anxiety I guess it has to do with the odor dogs give off. I feel like I know her so much better, well better then you can know someone then sniffing their rear. I can tell that she isn’t in heat, what she ate last, hell I can even tell if she is friendly or not.
She started looking at me confused yet again. I bet there is something else strange about me that is about to ask me about.
“Did you eat rocks before?” Winona turned her head to the side and confused why I would do that. I knew she would ask something else.
“No, well yes, kinda. Since I am part dragon I can eat gems like dragons.” I explain to her. She seems like she understands a little but still seems kind of lost. I will have to show her one day for her to understand.
“Oh okay that makes sense. While I have it in mind I just have to tell you thanks for saving me and Bloom. I don’t think I would have been able to protect us that day.” The fact that she couldn’t protect Bloom seems to really hurt Winona.
“No problem Winona. You both are my friends and I will always do my best to protect you all.” I give her a smile as she looked up and gave me a smile in return.
“So do you want to head on out of here and get something to eat back home. I don’t know about you but I haven’t eaten lunch yet.” Winona start headed back to the path and looks back at me waiting for my answer.
“Sure, why not, I could have a bite right about now.” I start off following down the dirt road.
I really can’t say this was a pleasant day. But at least I was able to finally get an answer I have been looking for. It might not be the one I wanted but it is closer none the less. I am not one to dwell on things I can’t change I just need to move on and think what is it I want to do with my life. I came to the realization that I don’t want to be in anyone’s shadow anymore. I will stand on my own and become something I can be proud of.
(For those who don't know this is from willy wonka and the chocolate factory... They all can't be winners lol)