//------------------------------// // The Birds and What? // Story: Ask Chatterjoy // by Chatterjoy //------------------------------// "Chatterjoy, it is time to wake up," echoed a voice. It was the undead pony, Filler. He had trotted into Chatterjoy's room, as the sun had risen above its peak, and the pegasus was still not up. The mare didn't move. She didn't even groan, and this caused the skeleton to echo out a sigh. "Chatterjoy, you need to wake up!" The pegasus groaned, as Filler let the light into her room. "Five more minutes mom!" Chatterjoy complained. She buried herself deeper into her cloud and refused to come out. Filler gave a flat look to the pegasus. Then nonchalantly he pushed her out of the bed. "Gah! I'm dying!" "If only," Filler replied to the overreacting mare, "I believe Jazzy Mellows wanted to see you today. You'll be lucky if she is still at Sugarcube Corner." Chatterjoy gave Filler a confused look. "Wha-? OH! Bye Filler! Have a good day Filler! I'm late. Oh Jazzy is going to kill me! See ya Filler! Don't break my house Filler!" The skeleton nodded to everything absentmindedly. While she ran around the house, he helped her get ready. The pegasus then waved a final good-bye and gave Filler a peck on the cheekbone. The red glowing dots in his eye sockets shrunk, and if he had the skin to do so, he would be blushing. Chatterjoy flew as fast as her wings could take her. She landed in front of Sugarcube Corner and peered through the windows to see if Jazzy was still there. The unicorn was not, and Chatterjoy's wings drooped and skimmed the ground. "Great, way to go cat mare! Sleep for twenty two hours why don't you." Chatterjoy did a quick turn around to head back home, but she failed to notice the stallion that had been walking past her. Her lips locked with his, and they both reared back quickly. "I'm sorry," they both said at the same time. "Legion?" "Chatterjoy?" "Um..." they said in unison. "You first," Legion said. "Uh, okay. Sorry about that I wasn't watching where I was going," Chatterjoy began to explain. Her cheeks were red, and she didn't make much eye contact with the unicorn in front of her. "What a surprise eh? Chatterjoy not watching where she is going," Legion joked. His own cheeks were lightly flushed, but he was able to hide it a bit better, most of it due to his darker fur. "Chatterjoy and Legion sitting in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-g!" A pink unicorn cried out. Chatterjoy perked her ears, and glared at her friend. "Jazzy! It was an accident! I was not watching where I was going. Big surprise right? Then I just happened to bump into Legion here. He is a good friend. Got that? Good friend. G-o-o-d! Good! Like a nice big batch of chocolate chip cookies! Good! I like cookies. I bet a lot of ponies like cookies," Chatterjoy began to rant. "Sure, it was an accident," Jazzy teased, walking up to her friend and poking her in the side. "I guess I'll leave you two alone." "What?" "Oh and Legion. The stomach never lies." "Excuse me?" Jazzy just giggled and trotted away, leaving a flushed Chatterjoy who's entire face had turned red with a combination of embarrassment and anger. Legion sighed and looked at the red faced mare next to him. Why not? They were just good friends right? "Chatterjoy, shall we go into Sugarcube Corner? I'll get ya something," he said. At least be a gentle stallion right? If it was possible Chatterjoy turned even redder. "Uh, no thanks. I just remembered that I had to help Big MacIntosh treebuck, or buck trees. For...the...um... trees! You know. Um. Bye!" Chatterjoy took off into the air, leaving a stunned Legion. The unicorn simply shrugged before heading inside to get his own milkshake. "I'll take some apple fritters with that shake as well." Chatterjoy panted as she landed in the apple farm. Her face was still extremely flushed, but now part of that was due to exertion. "That was a total failure. Get it together you stupid pegasus." "Now nopony is stupid," a deep voice said behind her. "Big Mac! Hi. Yes. Um. Can I help you?" Chatterjoy spluttered. "Eenope. Isn't today your day off Ms. Joy?" "Uh....Chatterjoy is fine. Ms. Joy sounds like I'm a nurse that has too many family members that all look alike. Anyway got to go. You know. Um. Wing trouble!" Once again Chatterjoy dashed off this time sticking to the ground. "..." Chatterjoy sat down in the park. She was breathing rapidly. So much love in the air. It kinda made her feel sick. First everypony pairs her up with her undead friend Filler. Granted he was a stallion. Living with her. In her house. Just the two of them. Alone. In her house. Alone. But Legion was supposed to be different. He was a friend. A living friend. Could that be the problem? Filler was an undead. For the most part there was no way that they could 'be' together. Legion on the other hoof was a living breathing unicorn stallion. Did this have something to do with that 'procreate' business. Whatever that meant. A tantalizing smell wafted over to her nose. An apple fritter was dangling in front of her face. She chomped on the offending pastry causing it to leave the levitation field. "Feeling better?" a voice asked. Chatterjoy still chewing turned around to face Legion. Her face regained a red tainted hue, but she managed to nod an affirmative. "You know. Your friend was just teasing. With the way you acted, it seemed like you'd never kissed a stallion before." Swallowing, Chatterjoy replied, "I haven't. That was the first time. I'm not into 'kissing'." Legion didn't say anything, but he perked his ears up in interest. "I don't...date. You know? It is...foreign to me." "I think I see the problem here. Has no pony ever asked you out on a date? Showed any interest in you?" "If you mean by calling me names and playing an advanced game of cooties where only I have them. Then yes," Chatterjoy replied. She snatched another apple fritter from Legion and shoved it whole into her mouth. "Hmmm. Have you ever showed any interest in dating?" "Why should I? No one can stand me for that long to live with me. Besides, I'm tired of this pity talk. If we're not going to talk about something happy, then I'm going to go home." Legion began to think deeply. Sighing, he put on a smile, "Chatterjoy, would you go on a date with me?" It caught the pegasus so off guard she faltered in her step. "...What?" "Would you go on a date with me?" he repeated. When Chatterjoy gave him a disbelieving look, he added, "As friends of course." "I guess it couldn't hurt," Chatterjoy replied. Her face still held a blush. "Now I heard they opened up a new restaurant today. They also serve cheese hay fries." "I am so there! Also, what does procreate mean?" "We are not going there." "So it's a place?" "Yes, Chatterjoy, yes it is."