//------------------------------// // 13) Attribute Training: Loathing Part II // Story: Lost into Shadow // by Lucidenn //------------------------------// “The heart can get really cold if all you've known is winter.” ~Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Last Night I Sang to the Monster "Get a move on scum, or else I'll tie your shitty ass to a tree and leave you for the timberwolves!" Young Sombra scrambled up onto weak legs, blood dripping from the fresh cuts and scrapes to his knees and face. The terrain was rough and rocky, and the pace his 'Master' set was unforgiving; if ever he tripped more often than not he'd find himself bodily dragged across the craggy rocks. 'Master', the word was poison in his heart, a word he would spit and then be forced swallow lest it invited his 'Master's' wrath. It had been a long 3 weeks till Stalliongrad. Young Sombra had gone without food save for the scraps left over from his Master's meals, and the occasional clumnps of mountain grass. Thankfully the frigid climate had blessed him with a constant supply of snow so that he would not go thirsty. This blessing was just as much a curse however, as several mornings he had woken up to find his mane brittle and his limbs stiff and just shy of non-responsive. Everytime the chain had gotten so cold as to make his neck feel numb and hard. If he tilted his head just so, he even saw a redish-blue tinge to the skin under his coat beneath the chains. Thankfully his master was lazy so they rested many times a day throughout the journey. At first he had tried to make Sombra carry him on his back, but the obvious difference in weight and size proved impossible, even to his selfish brain (though not until after several back-breaking attempts). After surviving such an ordeal, Sombra had even started to feel something akin to hope, hope that in Stalliongrad he would be rescued from this cruel fate of his. Meanwhile, 'Master' would never shut up about how once he got to his uncle he'd take him in immediately and restore his substantial fortune as his uncle's new right hoof pony. Both their hopes would be brutally smashed. "So..., you've lost your home, your company, your fortune. Then you come crawling to me whimpering like a lost diamond dog about your misfortunes, dragging your dirty plaything along with you. All I have to ask is simply, 'Why do I care?' " 'Master's' uncle spoke with steel in his voice, commanding and unyielding. His tone expected you to head his words, whether you liked them or not, with no ifs ands or buts to be tolerated. "Wh...whu....whuuuu, but that's not.." "Cut your driveling simpleton! I cannot believe that I'm related to such an imbecile. Your troubles are none of my concern, I worked hard to become president of Granite Pine Inc, and as Mayor I've built this city from the ground along with it. Take your woes elsewhere, if you are any relative of mine you can build your own power instead of sucking on the teats of your betters. Now get out of my sight! In the corner of the Mayor's enormous granite greeting hall stood Twilight and Sombra. True to his word Twilight had bared witness to every single moment of his younger self's suffering. Every night he had lain shivering on the mountain top, she had laid down next to him. She knew in her head that it wouldn't provide him any warmth or comfort, but it was the only thing her heart ached to do. Now that the beast that dared keep young Sombra in chains was getting the telling-off of his lifetime, she was positively ecstatic. Her barely restrained joy did not go unnoticed however. "Enjoying yourself?" Twilight turned to Sombra and said "absolutely" without even a smidgen of remorse. This monster was getting just what he deserved. "My my princess, you surprise me. We are more alike then I had thought. This pony is without food and shelter, and has just been turned away back to the streets and empty countryside by his only known relative. And here you are prancing in joy over it." That stopped her immediately. "But, its what he.." "Deserves?" Sombra interrupted her. Had you not known his backstory, would you not be appalled at this exchange? Even knowing it, would not your princess at least hold trial, and finding him guilty, at least throw him into prison for his crimes instead of abandoning him to the elements?" Twilight was floored by this, here she had been rejoicing in the possibly fatal judgement, and Sombra, evil dark Lord Sombra, had already considered the fair and civilized court as fit punishment. "That feeling is the expression of your loathing, Princess." "I can't believe I was so happy about his pain, his punishment. I.. I should have realized the proper w.." "No, Princess." He interrupted again, "Do not doubt your true feelings, for you are right." His gaze returned to the pitiful scene before them. "This is exactly what he deserves." "Please, sir, will you help me?" "Be quiet scum! Before I cut your tongue out!" "Be silent imbecile, you are not to speak again in my presence, and you! Child! I am nothing if not fair, I give you the same answer, your problems are not my problems, nor the problems of my city. Right now you are a filthy slave, so unless you change your ways, you'd better start acting your place. Now be gone with both of you! Soil my halls, my city, no more! "What! How can he do that, to a poor defenseless foal!" "It's not fair is it Twilight? It's not right." "Why, why is it like this?" "That's exactly how I felt all those years ago. Now that you're beginning to understand loathing, let me tell you that the worst is still yet to come. To allign with loathing, you need to not just feel it, you need to feel the loathing that I grew to know. It's only been 3 weeks yet, we've still many months ahead of us." With a look almost as dejected as young Sombra's, she followed the memory out of the Mayor's great hall. Pausing long enough for her to get out of ear shot, Sombra let himself feel the twinge of guilt that had been nagging at him recently. It was truly hurting her to see all of this, even though she needed to, and she understood that; but it was still as emotionally traumatizing as it was for him all those years ago. And her ordeal had only just begun. Barely audible, Sombra whispered with downcast eyes. "I'm sorry." Golden Oak Library--Twilight's Home THUD! "What in the hay?" Applejack rubbed the rapidly forming bump on her head while glaring daggers at the clear dome covering the library. "Strange, I don't remember that being there before." "You said it Rares, I bet Sombra saw us coming and put that thing up to keep us out." "Well I don't care what he does to stop us, cause we aint stopping for nothing and nopony!" Without another word Applejack gave the barrier a few powerful wallops from her hind legs. When that failed, she backed off to get a running start, charging full ahead. "Woah woah woah there Aj, just where do you think you're going?" "Huh, whataya mean? I..." Applejack trailed off her scolding of Rainbow as she took stock of her surroundings. First of all, she couldn't for the life of her remember where she had been dashing off to in such a hurry, and secondly she was now facing in exactly the opposite direction from Golden Oaks Library. "Applejack are you alright darling? One moment you were charging forward like a madpony, and next you were off in the completely opposite direction!" "I'm fine Rarity, just a little hazy. What were we doing over here again? Wait, its coming back to me, Twilight, Sombra, that barrier!" "We've got no time to wait on your confusion Aj, I'm going in!" Rainbow dash soared into the sky, and with an acrobatic flip and twist, turned toward the library and dive-bombed it from hundreds of meters in the air. Just before striking the barrier, she suddenly deviated. Braking suddenly she stopped onto a nearby tree branch and produced her pillow to lay down for one of her infamous naps. Applejack rolled her eyes at the pegasus. "This aint no time for dozing off Rainbow!" And with that, she bucked the poor tree hard enough to knock the cyan mare off her branch. "Hey! What's the big idea? I was just about to catch a few z's and....why did I want to take a nap? Wasn't there something else?" "It's almost like thinking of anything but the force field totally makes your memories blurry and redirects you to something else so you wouldn't think of what you were thinking of before when thinking of the thing you were thinking about that the shield didn't want you thinking the thought about! What a bummer." "Aaanypony else follow that?" "I think I can translate for Pinkie Applejack. It would seem that this barrier was here the whole time we couldn't reach Twilight. Each time we approached the library, each and every one of us forgot what we were originally doing, and suddenly something else became extremely important. It not only physically protects the library, it also redirects all attention away from itself as well." "So how come we can talk about the shield thingy in the first place, wouldn't our attention be diverted already?" "That seems to be the flaw in the design Rainbow, since we're only talking about it, and not about how to get past it, the barrier isn't redirecting our attention!" "So if we only focus on breaking it down, we'll be able to get past! Alright everypony, let's give this sorry excuse for a fishbowl the what-for! Rarity, you'd best get back to Spike at your place. We need to let the princesses know what is happening, we're going to desperately need their help if worst comes to worst." "Good idea, best of luck girls! Let's save our Twilight!" 11 months, 3 weeks, and 4 days down Memory Lane Young Sombra was scraped and battered, worn out from constant travel and abuse. Cold, dehydrated, and constantly on the verge of starvation, he still managed to carry on. Despite of course, his biggest problem: 'Master' had gone completely and utterly mad. "I'll sit in my house of solid gold just you wait and see scumbag! Oh how the daises will herald my rising as emperor! Even the mountains will gawk and sing praise to me!" At this point the madpony stopped to converse with a large boulder. "Why of course my loyal subject, you need not fear a thing as long as you pay your taxes on time~!" Perhaps at some point Sombra would have found the fool funny, yet he somehow had grown crueler in his madness. He was 'Master's' favorite beating bag, both physically and mentally, yet frankly Sombra had stopped caring, stopped feeling anymore. With each village or mountain town they wandered through, it felt like he died just a little more. Each time the unfortunate pair had doors slammed in their faces and rotten food tossed at them to chase them away. Food, that due to lack of options, they were forced to still eat. He felt filthy, inside and out. "By now I'd simply stopped feeling anymore, everything hurt too much. If ever I let my thoughts wonder to my murderous jailer and what he'd done to me and my life, or all the hundreds of ponies we'd met along the way who had the chance to help me and rejected us in disgust instead....I couldn't tell which was stronger, my hatred for every living pony, or the the feeling that perhaps I somehow deserved this fate." "The only one that deserves this is the monster that chained you. That everypony else could turn their backs on you so easily, I don't know what to feel, it hurts too much." "It's a different kind of pain, isn't it Princess? The pain of being hurt so much that only the ending of that pain, by any means, can bring relief." "When will this end Sombra? I can't bear it anymore." "Endure Princess, for just a while longer endure." "......" "......" "......" This was no good, the Princess really couldn't take it much more. She had long since passed her limit, watching endlessly over a year of abuse and misery. Normally she would respond with something witty or sarcastic when he avoided her questions or answered cryptically. Now she was so burnt out her spirit had all but failed. He had to find something that would bolster her these final hours, for it caused him pain to see the light in her eyes extinguished and flat. "You're quite amazing Twilight, did you know that?" Twilight's eyes went wide at the unexpected compliment and use of her proper name. "What do you mean? What makes you think that?" "You've mastered every challenge I've ever thrown your way, met and rose above all expectations, and gone incredibly far out of your way in your mission to help me. Sure I've experienced this hell already, but I had a year to do so. You've tackled all of these memories and pain within the real-time span of just 24 hours, and willingly done so for my sake. Who else could do such things, or even be willing to, other than yourself?" Twilight was blushing furiously at this point, modestly trying to deflect this sudden---though not unwanted nor unappreciated---attention with her modesty. "You make it sound like I'm some kind of martyr for doing this, I mean after all it hasn't been all bad! I've learned a lot from seeing things from your perspective, from experiencing your pains and sorrows. You've even stopped calling me all those names you used to." Sombra only smiled in response. "Well don't get too cozy and used to it Princess, I won't go easy on you with our training sessions later." She smiled in return, one that reached her eyes this time, before it fell and her eyes dimmed once more. "Tick tock goes the clock And all the years they fly Tick tock and all too soon You and I must die Tick tock goes the clock We laughed at fate and mourned her Tick tock goes the clock Even for the Scum-sack Tick tock goes the clock He cradled her and he rocked her Tick tock goes the clock Even for the Scum-sack!" The madpony sang his chant with a cackle in his voice and insanity twitching his left eye. Every note he held would cause his voice to crack octaves higher, breaking into a haunting disharmony that served to chill one's bones. It was incredibly unsettling, and caused Twilight to shiver. "Must he carry on like that, he's giving me the creeps." "He knows he's going to die soon, he's become as starved as myself at this point. It is here that his twisted psyche reaches a new low, and ends." The chant stopped as suddenly as it began, broken off by the realization that the sun was setting once more. "Fire, need fire. Need warmth." Out of the corner of his eye 'Master' took notice of the young Sombra. With a leap he was standing right over top Sombra, who had fallen over in exhaustion, ready to accept another random beating. But it never came. "No no no, not just fire, need food. Yes, Yes, Yes! Ahhahaha, we'll have a roasty toasty tonight devil-scum!" The young Sombra most definitely did not like the sound of that, but there was little he could do about it as he was forcefully chained to a tree stump. Fixed with walleyed stare Sombra's apprehension was replaced by fear. "Stay put now Filth, I need to get some wood and then you can enjoy the fire's tickling all night long!" Twilight was aghast. "He wouldn't possibly think of..." "He would, and he is. Don't worry, obviously I didn't die, so watch what happens next." The madpony came whistling back with an assortment of sticks in tow. As soon as the poor colt heard his whistling in the air, he struggled frantically at his bonds, wishing with all his might for even a speck of magic to help him escape. But he'd been too weak for too long, his body frail from the abuse it'd taken. He didn't want to die, he didn't deserve this, any of it! When 'Master' came into sight, Sombra fixed him with a look of such loathing it would curdle milk. Blissfully unaware, 'Master' piled the sticks in front of Sombra. Grunting and groaning with effort, he put all of his effort into his magic, and from what strength he had left, produced a spark to light the fire. Sombra in the mean time had redoubled his efforts to escape, eyes never leaving his most hated enemy. Leaning in close to the struggling colt, 'Master' whispered softly, "The fire's lit and ready scum, it's time...to say...goodbye..." "Goodbye!" With that single word, Sombra put all of his hatred into fueling his hind legs, launching himself forward head first. 'Master' was so close to him that he didn't even have time to react as Sombra's young horn gored his evil heart out. For a moment nothing happened, they stood there joined by Sombra's horn as the madpony breathed his last. With a sigh, he collapsed to the ground as Sombra's bloody horn slipped from the gaping hole in his chest. But he wasn't done, it wasn't over. He too still needed to eat to survive. "It was after this that I grew fangs, though I haven't used them for their practical purpose for many centuries." Twilight turned away from young colt devouring his captors raw flesh. The scene should have disgusted, appalled her, but instead she could only feel a sense of justice and satisfaction, and that disturbed her even more than the cannibalism did. "And so ends the final murderer of my family, and our time here in my memories." "Wait, but what happens to you next?" "Next? I use the strength I regain from my first real meal in a year to free myself of my chains. Still hating the ponies who had scorned me before, I stayed within the wilderness, building my home in a cave. Twice now my rage had saved my life and brought retribution to my enemies, so I spent the remainder of my solitude mastering dark magic in all its complexity." Twilight realized that they were back inside the fear chamber now, and the connection severed. She stood up slowly on shaky legs throbbing from being in the same position for so long. "Now that I understand, how shall we apply the attribute of loathing?" Sombra grinned wickedly. "We shall be using NPCs again: I will pull the shadows of ponies on the surface down to the stone golems in the loathing chamber, and then change their appearance to match a more appropriate target. The goal is to inflict pain, suffering, and sickness to the target. That is how the attribute of loathing affects your spells. To spread a rot through their flesh, or cause their own body to slowly dissolve bit by bit." "You said the NPCs would be changed from the shadow's owner to look like a more appropriate target? Who would that be?" "You always catch the most important details don't you Twilight?" Sombra chuckled with approval. "The face of every NPC shall be the face of the monster you first learned how to loathe, our late friend, 'Master'. You're about to get your chance to finally do everything you've ever thought of doing to him, and more." For the first time, Twilight's smile matched Sombra's in its cruel anticipation. "This lesson will be most effortless yet, and quite possibly the most enjoyable." she said, eyes turning green and wafting purple energy already. As he watched her eyes blaze with the evidence of dark magic and dark intent, Sombra couldn''t agree with her more.