“Well… Can’t say I saw this coming,” Diamond Tiara muttered. She was in the middle of a barren wasteland, set ablaze by raging infernos, gigantic monsters, and dancing penguins.
“It’s… not that bad,” Apple Bloom replied, wiping sweat from her brow. Diamond Tiara turned and glared at Apple Bloom.
“We’re in Tartarus.”
“At least it ain’t Prance,” Apple Bloom muttered. “Imagine how much ya would have hated that!”
“I like Prance! It’s a nice country!” Diamond Tiara yelled, resisting the urge to hit something. “Ugh, I should have known better than to try to rekindle our friendship,” Diamond Tiara muttered.
“Graaaagh!” A loud roar rang throughout the land.
“Shut up!” Diamond Tiara yelled back as she threw a rock, causing the beast to cry out in pain.
“...That wasn’t very nice,” Apple Bloom scolded.
“We’re in Tartarus! Do you really think this is the time to be nice?!” Diamond Tiara threw another rock at the whimpering beast. “Hey, this is kinda fun!” she giggled.
“Will ya stop throwing rocks and help me figure a way out of this?” Apple Bloom asked, earning a groan from Diamond Tiara.
“Ugh, fine!” Diamond Tiara yelled.
“Good. Now, let’s explore a bit. Maybe we’ll find a portal or somethin’,” Apple Bloom muttered as she began walking away.
“Here’s hoping,” Diamond Tiara muttered as she looked at the howling beast. After a few seconds of debating with herself, she shrugged her shoulders with a smile. “Eh, what the heck,” she mumbled as she threw another rock at the creature, knocking it down a nearby cliff. “Score!” Diamond Tiara cried with a hoof pump.
After a few minutes of wandering around the waste, not finding anything useful, the two decided to set up camp inside a large skeleton of what appeared to be a dinosaur.
“Ah wonder if it’s one of them stegosauruses Miss Cheerilee taught us about?” Apple Bloom wondered aloud.
“I wonder if you can actually play the xylophone on its ribs!” Diamond Tiara said as she started banging on the ribs, resulting in no music. “Tch, figures,” she grunted in annoyance.
“Ya actually thought it would work?”
“Why not?! It works in cartoons!” Diamond Tiara yelled in annoyance. She picked up a nearby stick and whacked the ribs once more. Sadly, it made the same thunking noise as before. “Grr. Stupid bones!” she yelled as she kicked one of the ribs, causing the skeleton to scream in pain.
“...Ah don’t think that was a good idea,” Apple Bloom muttered as the skeleton raised from the ground and...probably glared at them.
“...Good job, Apple Bloom,” Diamond Tiara reprimanded with a glare. “You just had to annoy a possessed skeleton, didn’t you?!”
“Yer the one who kicked it!”
“And you’re an idiot! Therefore, it’s your fault!”
“Graaaah!” the skeleton roared, gaining the attention of the two fillies.
“...We should really start running right now, right, Diamond Tiara?”
“...”
“...Diamond Tiara?” Apple Bloom called out, finding her companion was no longer there.
“It was nice knowing you!” she faintly heard from behind. Apple Bloom slowly turned and saw Diamond Tiara had run off without her.
“...Ah really don’t like her,” Apple Bloom muttered.
“Rrraaaagh!”
“Aaaah!” Apple Bloom screamed as she quickly ran after Diamond Tiara. “Wait fer me!”
“Apple Bloom, what are you doing?! You’re supposed to be sacrificing yourself for the greater good!”
“No, ah’m not! Yer just trying ta save yer own skin!”
“Exactly! It’s the same thing!” Diamond Tiara yelled back. She quickly turned around, glaring at Apple Bloom as the farm filly and the skeleton quickly made their way towards her. “If you won’t do it willingly, then I’ll make you do it,” Diamond Tiara muttered as she picked up a nearby rock and threw it towards Apple Bloom...and missed.
“Graaagh!” the skeleton screamed as the rock destroyed one of its bony legs, causing it to fall over, its bones breaking apart and scattering all over the place. At the sight of this, Apple Bloom slowed to a trot as she gazed at the destruction and turned towards Diamond Tiara.
“Y-ya saved me,” she muttered.
“...And it was totally on purpose!” Diamond Tiara laughed loudly. Not what I had in mind, but that’ll do! “Well… That was an adventure,” Diamond Tiara muttered as she stared at the destroyed skeleton.
“Yeah. Good thing ya found that rock, right?” Apple Bloom asked with a smile, earning a smirk from Diamond Tiara.
“Heh. Even if I didn’t, that stupid skeleton didn’t stand a chance!”
“Why d’ya say that?” Apple Bloom asked with a hint of annoyance. Ah swear, she can be such an arrogant, pig headed--
“Because I have this!” Diamond Tiara shouted as she raised her hoof, showing off what appeared to be…
“Is that the Alicorn Amulet?!” Apple Bloom screamed in terror. “Why in tarnation do ya have that with ya?! Actually, how did ya even git it?!”
“I bought it from Zecora, duh,” Diamond Tiara said with annoyance. “She’s a zebra. Zebras love gold. Heck, I’m pretty sure I saw her bathing in it a week ago… Kinda creepy,” Diamond Tiara said as she thought back to that fateful day. “Anyways, I digress. We could use this to make a portal back to our world.”
“Yeah! In exchange for one of us becoming evil!” Apple Bloom screamed as she waggled her hooves above her head. “Diamond Tiara, we gotta destroy it!”
“Destroy it?! I spent a week’s allowance on this thing! I’m not gonna destroy it!” Diamond Tiara yelled as she smacked Apple Bloom over the head. “Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”
“How about the enslavement of Ponyville?” Apple Bloom asked sarcastically.
“Enslavement of Ponyville?” Diamond Tiara muttered, images of everypony she knew covered in chains doing anything and everything she demanded of them. “...This amulet sounds better and better!” Diamond Tiara squee’d. “Now I’m totally gonna wear this!” Not a second later Diamond Tiara attached the amulet to her neck. A minute of silence hung over the two of them as neither one dared to speak.
“Uh...do ya feel any different?” Apple Bloom asked worriedly. Diamond Tiara slowly turned towards her with a scowl.
“No. No, I do not,” Diamond Tiara muttered as she removed the amulet and threw it on the ground. “Stupid amulet!” she yelled as she stomped on it repeatedly, utterly destroying the object.
“...Ah thought ya weren’t gonna destroy it?”
“Shut up!” Diamond Tiara screamed as she slapped Apple Bloom. “That is the last time I buy something from a zebra!”
“Diamond Tiara, will ya stop hitting me! Yer getting on mah last nerve!” Apple Bloom scolded, causing Diamond Tiara to roll her eyes in annoyance.
“Whatever,” Diamond Tiara muttered uncaring. She turned towards the burning landscape, scowling in annoyance. No matter how hard she looked she could not find a single fashion boutique. “Well, what do we do now? We’re still stuck in Tartarus with no way out.”
“Hmm...ah don’t know,” Apple Bloom said with a shrug. “Hate ta say it, but it looks like our vacation ain’t gonna be a vacation. We’re stuck.”
“Ugh, great!” Diamond Tiara yelled in annoyance. “You know this is your fault, right?!”
“How is this mah fault?” Apple Bloom asked in annoyance.
“How about the fact that you’re the one who suggested using a magic stone to teleport us to a vacation spot?!” Diamond Tiara asked, earning a nervous glance from Apple Bloom.
“W-well, ah-ah-uh…” Apple Bloom trailed off, trying to think of anything to make herself look innocent. Ugh, ah never should have used that magic stone ah ‘borrowed’ from Twi. Gave us nothing but trou… “Wait, that’s it!” Apple Bloom shouted as she withdrew the stone from her mane. “If we use the stone again, we might be able to git back to Equestria!”
“Apple Bloom, that’s brilliant!” Diamond Tiara said excitedly. “It’s a good thing I thought of it!”
“Wait, ah was the one who thou-”
“Hurry up and use it!” Diamond Tiara demanded as she stood next to Apple Bloom.
“Alright, jeez!” Apple Bloom growled as she slowly rubbed the stone, causing it to glow. A few seconds later the two of them were enveloped in a bright light and disappeared into thin air.
“Wow, it’s so huge,” Applejack giggled as she stared lovingly at Big McIntosh. “Guess our parents were right when they named ya ‘Big Mac’, eh?”
“Eeeyup!” Big McIntosh muttered, caressing his sisters cheek as she straddled his hips.
“Now, ah say lets git this show on the ro--” she was interrupted as a bright light lit up the room. “Aargh, what in tarna-”
“Applejack?! Big Mac?! What are ya’ll doing?!”
“Apple Bloom?!” Applejack screamed in shock as she jumped off of her brother. “Th-this isn’t what it looks like!”
“Oh...my...Celestia!” Diamond Tiara laughed as Apple Bloom stared in horror. “Bet you wished you stayed in Tartarus, huh?”
“...Yes. Yes, ah do,” Apple Bloom muttered as she slowly left the room with Diamond Tiara.
“Apple Bloom, wai--”
“No,” Apple Bloom interrupted. “Ah am going to mah room, and we’re gonna pretend this never happened, alright?” Apple Bloom asked, earning a nod from Applejack. “Good,” Apple Bloom muttered as she and Diamond Tiara left the room.
“...You know I’m gonna tell the whole class about this, right?” Diamond Tiara asked with a giggle.
“...Ah hate ya so much,” Apple Bloom said with a glare, earning a hug from Diamond Tiara.
“And I love you, my little blank flank!” Diamond Tiara said with a nuzzle, causing Apple Bloom to blush.
And they lived happily ever after...away from Apple Bloom’s family, who were a bunch of incestuous freaks.
The End.