Sitting back on the living room sofa, Claire hummed a gentle melody. In her forearms, wrapped in a light green blanket she held her niece, Oasis. The filly no more than a few weeks old had her little eyes closed, a smile spread on her lips. As Claire hummed she also gently rocked Oasis to and fro. She had fallen asleep a while ago, but still Claire couldn’t bring herself to put her down. And as she hummed, her focus completely on the foal in her forearms, Claire hadn’t noticed that she was being watched.
“You are a natural, Darling.” Claire blinked and stopped humming when she heard the voice. When Claire looked over to the hallway entrance to the living room she saw somepony standing there. It was none other than her own mother, Rarity, a warm smile spread across her lips as she took in the sight of her daughter holding her granddaughter in her forearms.
“What do you mean?” asked Claire.
“I mean the way you handle Oasis.” Began Rarity “From the way you hold her, to the song you were humming moments ago. Hard to believe that there was a time when being near a foal terrified you.” She said with a giggle. Looking away, Claire pouted her lips in response to her mother’s teasing.
“Don’t you think you’re exaggerating a bit?” asked Claire only to get a sly smile from Rarity.
“Need I remind you of the day Pixel was born?” asked Rarity, but she didn’t give Claire a chance to answer and continued anyway. “Ew, don’t give it to me, it might spit on me!” Rarity said trying to mimic a teenage voice while making her body tremble.
“And of course there’s my personal favorite; Moooooom, it’s getting closer, what do I do!?” Rarity mimicked again shifting her body as if she was trying to stay away from something. As Claire watched she brought up her trademark grumpy frown out of annoyance.
“Hardy har har, very funny.” Claire said with a sarcastic laugh.
“I thought so too.” Rarity said intentionally ignoring the sarcasm at her daughter’s expense. All Claire could do was roll her eyes in response and continue to rock Oasis. As Rarity watched, she decided drop the teasing and climbed on to the sofa with Claire. “But back then you were still young, still maturing. You have grown so much since then.” She said giving Claire a warm, motherly smile.
“Thanks, mom.” Claire said returning the smile. They both went silent after that, their eyes glued on the sleeping Oasis. Looking at Claire, the way she held her niece, it reminded Rarity of when she held her newly born daughter in her own forearms.
“Tell me, Claire, how do you feel when you hold Oasis?” asked Rarity, breaking the silence. Claire remained silent for a little while longer, trying to come up with a way to answer her mother’s question. In truth, she had never thought about it before, never tried to put how she felt into words, she just knew that they were there.
“It’s hard to explain.” Said Claire “I’ve only held her once before this, and that was the day she was born. When I’m holding her, I can feel this warmth inside of me, the feeling of holding something so small and fragile in my claws while it has nothing by trust in me.” In her sleep, Oasis let out a small giggle, no doubt caused by a dream, and Claire’s smile grew bigger still.
“When I’m holding her, it’s like I never want to let her go.” Looking at Claire’s eyes, Rarity could see it. They were the same eyes she had, and still does. The eyes of a guardian, a care taker, a mother.
“You know, you could have that feeling all the time, if you had your own foal.”
“Mom, not this again.” Said Claire as with a small sigh “I told you, I’m just-“
“Not that kind of girl,” said Rarity cutting off Claire and finishing her sentence. Claire looked over to her mother, usually when they had this conversation Rarity would get frustrated with how stubborn Claire could be. But this time she didn’t have a trace of that on her face, she only smiled.
“I know I bring this up a lot, and I know the answer you always give me. But I also know that you still haven’t fully made up your mind.” She said. Claire blinked as she stared at her mother with confusion.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“The decision to have a child is an important and difficult one. And it is not one that can be made with the mind.” Slowly Rarity extended her hoof “No, the answer can only come from one place.” Finally Rarity’s hoof stopped on Claire’s chest “From the heart.” Rarity finished. Claire’s confusion only increased.
“I still don’t understand.” Claire admitted.
“On day you will.” Rarity hopped off the sofa and slowly made her way to the hallway. “And when you do, come tell me.”
“Why, so you can gloat?” Claire asked with an arched brow, Rarity simply giggled.
“No,” she said turning her head to look back at Claire “So that I can tell you how proud of you I am.” And with that Rarity walked away, vanishing from Claire’s sight. Claire still didn’t know what her mother meant, and it would be many years until she would.
In the early hours of the night, Claire slept in her bed with a pillow wrapped in her hooves and held close to her chest. Tears ran down the sleeping mare’s cheek as she snuffled lightly into her pillow. She laid like this for several minutes, still reliving a moment from her past in the realm of dreams.
“Come tell me.”
Suddenly Claire’s eye opened wide and she raised her head from her pillow as she let out a small gasp. The room was dark but her eyes were already adjusted, looking around she saw that she was in her bed room of the castle. Taking a deep breath Claire wiped the tears from her face and rested her head back on her pillow. “Just a dream…” Claire told herself “Just a dream.” She repeated, tightening her hold on the pillow against her chest.
For several minutes Claire laid there trying to go back to sleep, but it was to no avail. She was completely awake, her eyes refusing to close. With a sigh Claire looked over to the other side of the bed, there she saw Illusion sleeping on his back, his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Claire placed a claw over her muzzle to suppress a giggle.
Carefully, as to not wake him, Claire climbed out of bed and made her way to the bathroom. When inside she closed the door behind her and turned on the light, wincing slightly as the room brightened. Once her eyes were adjusted to the light Claire looked herself in the mirror as she placed a claw on her stomach. She had been pregnant for almost a month now, time seeming to just fly by. It felt as though she had only told her family a few days ago, but in reality it had been weeks.
Claire thought back to that day, she could still see the look on their faces when she and Illusion shared the news. But as she flashed back to all of their faces she realized something; that one face was missing. One that belonged to a pony that wasn’t there that day, not because she didn’t want to be, but because she couldn’t be there.
“Come tell me.”
Again Claire heard the voice, her ears pinning to the side of her head. There was still somepony she hadn’t told yet, and maybe in the back of her mind, she had put it off. Unable to bring herself to go through with it. Unable to go back there.
Moving in closer to the mirror Claire looked herself in the eyes “But I have to.” She told her reflection. Turning on the sink Claire splashed water on her face and toweled off before walking out of the bathroom. Without making a sound she placed her saddlebag on her back and looked back to the sleeping Illusion. Part of her thought to wake him up and tell him where she was going to go. But she knew that Illusion would try to convince her to let him come with her.
But as tempting an offer as that was, Claire felt that she needed to do this alone. So leaving Illusion to his slumber, Claire exited the room, closing it slowly behind her. “Good evening, Princess.” Came a voice that almost caused Claire to yelp in surprise. Turning she saw one of the bat ponies of the Luna’s royal guard standing next to the door. Claire had almost forgotten that they stand guard by the doors of the royal family at night.
“Oh, yes, good evening to you too.” Looking at Claire the bat pony noticed that she was wearing her saddle bag.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, he had guarded Claire and Illusions room for a while now, never once had he seen Claire just walk out in the middle of the night with a saddlebag.
“Yes, everything is fine, I just…” Claire paused and let out a sigh “Listen, there’s just something that I have to do, alone.” she emphasized.
“If Illusion wakes up and asks where I’ve gone, just please tell him that, and that I’ll be back soon.” The guard looked at Claire and could see her pleading eyes, letting out a small sigh he brought his hoof to his forehead and saluted.
“As you wish, please, be safe.” Said the guard.
“Thank you.” Said Claire with a smile before turning around and making her way down the hall. When she reached the stairs, rather than go down she instead went up. Her next destination was still inside of the castle, which was where she’d get the method to get to her final destination. When Claire arrived to the right floor she then crossed a bridge to where she needed to be, the sky chariot hangar.
Several bat ponies stood guard in this hangar, all either searching for any potential danger or waiting for any orders to carry a chariot. Claire walked up to the closest bat pony, a mare who was guarding the entrance. When Claire entered her sights the bat pony quickly bowed her head in response.
“Hello, princess.” She said. “What brings you to the hanger at this time?” she asked.
“There’s someplace I need to visit, could you spare some guards?”
“Of course.” Said the mare, and before long two guards were hooked up to a chariot and Claire was safe inside. Once the flight was cleared the guards took off carrying the chariot with them as they flew into the sky.
As the chariot flew Claire could feel the butterflies in her stomach start to act up. She wasn’t too thrilled with what she was going to do, but knew she couldn’t back down from it. She made a promise, and it was a promise that she would keep, regardless of the circumstances. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t have some second thoughts about it.
“How long has it been since we last talked…?” Claire thought to herself as she stared up into the ceiling of the chariot, almost like she expected an answer. Over in the corner of her eye Claire saw something, an orange glow. Looking over she saw it, the sun was starting to rise and bring about the new day. With the sun now risen, Claire wondered, could she see it from the window?
Rather than question it, Claire decided to find out for herself, opening the window Claire stuck her head out and looked onwards. And there in the distance, she could see it, the place where she has not been in celestia knows how long.
“It’s been a while hasn’t it, Ponyville?”