//------------------------------//
// Whiny One (Rarity) 
// Story: Garry's Mod Vs. Equestria: ASDFMovie is Awesome! 
// by Fussan 
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	It was a fine day in Ponyville; the sun shone perfectly throne the Boutique windows to warm the shop/home for the pony that lived there. It was days like this that seemed almost too good to waste staying cooped up inside, working on projects that seemed insignificant compared to the grander scheme of things, such as family and friends...
Although Rarity had none of these things at the moment, as Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were currently not talking to her due to her saying something not particularly polite to a certain someone that was left there when another, much worse, certain someone left. To add on to that, her sister had been suspiciously closed-mouthed about the whole situation and opted for spending time with her friends in every free moment she had. So Rarity had nopony at the time, but that suited her just fine; she could finally finish her backlogged work orders that she'd been putting off.
So she was in the Boutique, enjoying the rays of sunshine as they draped her in a golden glow, warming her coat and calming her fraying nerves. "Hmm... I wonder if purple will still be in next season..." she thought aloud. "No... I think not. Perhaps maroon? Or even violet...?" Her nose scrunched up in mild disgust at the thought of violet ever being "in". "Ugh! What am I thinking?! Of course violet won't be in! It will never be in, as long as I have something to say about it."
She unconsciously looked over her shoulder to make sure Twilight wasn't silently watching her. She had said things like this in the past and it had very nearly permanently damaged her relationship with her closest friends.
But seeing that nopony was behind her she returned to work. That's when she screamed. Her hair shot up in every direction, her coat bristled up, her pupils shrunk down to pinpricks, and her eyes went so wide that the eyeballs nearly fell from their sockets. Her breathing was heavy and labored, inane mumbling coming from her mouth in place of proper words. She had no idea how to comprehend what she was seeing in front of her.
There, sitting on the ponnequin with an unnatural smile on its little face, was a turtle. But it wasn't a normal turtle in any way, except that it was in fact, a turtle. It was plain white with thick black outlines, its eyes were just two small dots, its shell was only a misshapen half-circle with a large button on top of it... But the strangest thing about it was that it was completely two dimensional, unlike the rest of the world around it.
Rarity stared at the thing in shock, almost not believing that it was actually in front of her. It seemed impossible that such a thing could even exist in her world. To be completely honest, she wasn't sure she wanted something like that in her world.
After regaining a little bit of her former composure, her took a deep breath and waved her hoof that the strange turtle-like creature. "S- shoo! Shoo! Get off of there!" she scolded the thing.
The turtle stared at her, unflinching. Unblinking. Its smile still as wide as before.
She bit her bottom lip, unsure of what to do in a situation like this. She wished Fluttershy were there. "Um... Please shoo?"
The turtle continued to stare at her, its eyes like dark, soulless pits of malice and hate; its smile that of a deranged serial killer. Its very aura was that of murderous intent and a desire to destroy all life on Equus.
Rarity blinked at the thoughts that had just passed through her mind. "Perhaps it is me who can't handle a conversation with him after all..." Gently shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she looked back at the turtle. It was still sitting there, still being a turtle. She decided to try something. "Uh... Hello?"
The turtle responded with a happy, "Hello!" Then it proceeded to leap off of the ponnequin with a slight sproing noise--not unlike when Pinkie Pie jumps into the air--and landed on its back, square on the button.
There was a loud click sound.
***
Thunderlane was slowly making his way to his destination, sweat on his brow and a nervous tick in his wings. He felt his legs shaking and his skin prickling from anxiousness. His breathing picked up with every step he took, soon becoming more of a gasping wheeze than normal breaths. Anypony who looked upon him would easily mistake him for being deathly ill, or even having some sort of seizure by the way he was acting. But in truth he what he was experiencing was much, much worse. He had cold hooves.
Today was the day he was finally going to ask his crush out on a date. He was finally going to ask Rarity to go out with him.
Finally, after a walk that normally took ten minutes but had been stretched into an hour and a half, he was standing in front of Rarity's home, the Carousel Boutique. He swallowed hard, the lump stuck in his throat nearly choking him and his mouth as dry as the desert sand. He was standing there, sweating like a pig, a manic look in his eyes from nerves, and shaking like a leaf in a storm. Not exactly how he pictured it, but it would have to do.
He slowly raised his hoof up to the door and held it there, not quite ready to knock. Once again he swallowed a lump down, closed his eyes and took a deep breath... Counting to ten, he opened them again and steeled himself.
He touched his hoof to the door... and the Carousel Boutique exploded into a giant blazing inferno of destruction and death. The explosion was ear-splitting, the blast vaporizing everything in its radius. Ponies could feel the heat of the fire from nearly a quarter mile away, and see and hear the explosion for ten times that distance.
After the explosion subsided nothing was left of the Carousel Boutique except a crater nearly ten feet deep... and a very singed Thunderlane standing on a charred and blackened doorstep. His mane, tail, coat, and feathers were all gone. His eyebrows too. Slowly, he blinked. "Does... Does this mean you won't go out with me...?"
Everypony around was too deaf from the explosion to hear the screaming laughter from a nearby tree.