//------------------------------// // The Irony of it All // Story: A Delightful Journey // by FeverishPegasus //------------------------------// I wake up, still leaning on Lyra's door. My face is an absolute mess, but the pain inside has subsided considerably. I look over to the kitchen counter, just past the living-room couch and see a bowl of lettuce waiting for me. It's nice to know they're still willing to feed me. I wouldn't put it past them if they just let me die. While BonBon seems willing to care for me, I no longer feel welcome in the house. Both ponies have their doors shut on me, and I can hardly hear any sounds of delight coming from behind them. It's obvious that they don't want me here, with their muted and discrete personal lives. So, I leave. I have no idea where to go, but I shut the front door behind me anyways, resolute in my efforts to move on. Looking towards the sun, I see a forest and get the idea that I'd be most welcome there. After all, there are no rules in nature. It seems to me like a normal forest, or at least what I deem to be a “normal forest”, back where I come from. Trees are untrimmed and scraggely while bushes choke out the weak plant life on the ground. I note, with a strange sense of satisfaction, how these plants' fight for survival fits me so well. My thoughts are nothing but suspicion, ready to jump away at the slightest sign of harm or evil intent. So, feeling more comfortable, I decide to rest on an oak tree. The rough bark tears at my back a little, but after my ordeal with Lyra, I can't help but feel proud of my independence. So long as I'm not restricted by do-gooder ponies to live the way I want to live, life is worth its small scrapes. However, as I sit at that tree, it dawns on me that I have no clue how to survive in the forest, and any amount of predators could be stalking the bushes right now, sizing me up as prey. Forest noises pop in around me, playing with my imagination to the extent at which warning bells toll in my head, warning me of imminent death. I hurriedly run back to the safety of the city, already afraid of the forest's potential dangers. I still have nowhere to go. Upon arriving back in the city, I see Lyra's house again and already feel pangs of nostalgia. Still, I know that I can't go back. They don't want me anymore. So, I move past their house, wandering aimlessly through Ponyville, but still careful to draw only small amounts of attention. The pink pony follows me and it's obvious that my efforts to remain inconspicuous were in vain. “Hey!” she calls out. I attempt to ignore her and keep moving forward. “Hey listen!” she yells, in that bouncy voice of hers. I don't listen, and continue to ignore her, so she jumps in front of me, blocking my path. “What is it?!” I growl, on the edge of my nerves. A cupcake hits me in the face, leaving a smear of frosting as it ricochets into the wall beside me. “Eat!” she says. “I want you to try my super special ingredient that I made for odd ponies like you who feel bad for being different!” “Wait, what?! I'm not feeling bad--” I try to protest, but Pinkie interrupts me. “Yeah, sure. Now try this--” she tilts my lower jaw down so that my mouth is gaping and shoves a cupcake into it, “and feel better!” I start choking and manage to cough out the hastily placed cupcake while Pinkie looks up at me expectantly. “Soooo?” she inquires. I glare at her. She frowns, what's wrong with it then? “Too sweet, too salty, too spicy, too tangy, too zesty, too sour, or too overly rambunctious? I NEED to KNOW!” She pauses, awaiting an answer. I stutter for a bit, realizing that I wasn't going to get drowned out by more of her dialogue. “It-it's not any of those. It's just that you almost killed me!” “Ohhh, interesting. I don't remember putting arsenic in these cupcakes. I mean, I did once, for a party, but it was just a smidge, y'know, just to get that almond flavor in...but I learned from my mistakes! Unless...” Pinkie gasps. “What if there is still another me running around? What if she's trying to hurt pony folk by poisoning my confections?! I've got to find her immediately!” “Wait!” I yell out, just as Pinkie gets ready to spring. “You're food wasn't poisoned, don't worry about that, but when you shove foods into peoples' faces when they're not expecting it, that's going to cause them to choke.” “But I warned you! You were ready!” “Nononono, I wasn't. Where I come from, I know for a fact that random vendors don't shove food into the buyer's mouth.” “I just wanted to cheer you up! I only sell stuff when in Surgarcube Corner, silly!” “Alright, alright, whatever. Could you just leave me be? You've already caused me harm as it--” “Let me make it up to you!” I hit my forehead with my palm. This pony is so hyperactive she doesn't even let me finish my sentences. “And how could you do that?!” I ask sardonically, still bitter over what happened back home. “Well, what makes your face droop like so?” she pokes my cheek. I bat her hoof away, my irritation reaching critical mass. “First, I want you to calm down and keep yourself from touching me, alright?” “Okey dokey lokey!” Miraculously, she sits down and maintains a relatively calm posture, well, except for her twitching left forehoof. I try to ignore it and continue, “Ok, sooo...” I try to phrase my dilemma in a way so that I don't have to reveal that I'm a carnivore. “Recently, one of my best friends found out that for most of my life, I've done something horrible. Still, I didn't even know that what I was doing was horrific at the time, but now she's left me, and I don't know what to do without her.” I wait for Pinkie to respond. “Well...that's easy! All you've got to do is tell me what you did, and I'll try my best to explain it away to your loved one!” “I-I...can't tell you.” “Why?” I come up with an answer besides 'it would make you look differently at me', “I don't feel comfortable talking with you.” Her face droops a little at that, but she continues, “Who would you feel comfortable talking to about this?” I think for a little and the answer does come to me, but it sounds so ludicrous and ironic to me that I refuse to answer. “I see your mind churning!” She dashes up to me and stares me straight in the eyes. “Who is it?!?!” I shove her away and say, “What did I say about being calm?!” “Yeah, oops! It's hard for me.” She smiles bashfully. “Alright,” I take a deep breath. “I think it's Twilight Sparkle. Of all ponies, Twilight friggin' Sparkle.” But it makes so much sense! She can get too invasive, but her thoughts are less emotional than the average pony. When I mentioned I was a carnivore, she looked at me with surprise, not disgust. As much as I hate to say it, Twilight Sparkle would be the best at helping me out here. Pinkie strokes her chin with her hoof. “Hmmm...odd choice, I must say, but let's get you to Twilight Sparkle!” With that, I find myself being dragged over to a tree-house in the distance, struggling to keep my balance at the insane pace Pinkie had me going in. Pinkie knocks on Twilight's door. Almost instantly, a purple aura surrounds the door and it swings open. I see Twilight trot briskly up. Her eyes widen when she sees me. “Hey! You're here to give me the final piece to my measurements, aren't you?” She glances at my pants and I try to change the subject. “No,” I respond, a little too quickly. “I actually need some help from you.” “That would involve a give and take factor,” Twilight stonily responds. I don't know what to say and just stand there, gawking. Thankfully, Pinkie comes to my rescue. She dashes up to Twilight and puts a hoof around her shoulder. Twilight does not look happy about this, but Pinkie starts speaking anyways, “Shame on you Twilight! Remember what I said—or rather, sang about a while ago?” “No, I don't,” she responds. “It was about sharing! Hello!” Pinkie yells at Twilight's cranium specifically, “I know you've got that information in there somewhere! How about you give Twilight a hand!” She knocks on Twilight's head a few times. “That should fix it,” she adds with a smile of satisfaction. “Pinkie!” Twilight shoves Pinkie off of her. While Twilight remains angry, Pinkie's morals do kick in. With a sigh Twilight says, “Sure, that's fine. Come in.” She trots back into her household and I follow. While walking through the door, I see that Twilight's household is actually more of a library. Built in shelves dominate the walls, holding big, dusty books, all of which were no doubt as informatically dry as the amount of dust that had collected on them. However, I can't help but find myself astonished by the architecture. The tree had been completely hollowed out, offering a lot more space than normal buildings could offer. Her book must be tedious to read, but at least she has a lot of room to read them in. Twilight gestures for me to take a seat on the floor next to her, but first I ask Pinkie to wait outside. “No problem!” she exclaims and zooms out, smashing into the door in the process. After shutting the flailing door, I head over to talk to Twilight. “Alright, so what do you need?” Twilight asks, not bothering to hide her resentment. I look at her for a bit and say, “Please, could you take this seriously? I really need help, and I think you're the only one who can understand.” Twilight softens, realizing that I'd come to her with my tail in-between my legs, accepting help from the pony that I despised the most. Something was clearly bothering me. “Yes, sorry. Do continue.” I gaze at her and she looks intent enough, so I spill all of what happened. “Back when you got information from me, at Lyra's house. You asked me what my favorite food was. When I said 'cooked cow', you were surprised, right?” “Well yeah. You didn't seem to be a carnivore, with your lack of claws, sharp teeth, and tough hide. If anything, a cow could easily take you in a fight...no offense.” I frown a little at this, but continue, “But you didn't look down on me for my habits did you? You weren't...weirded out?” “Well...no. While it's hard for me to grasp carnivores eating other living creatures, as I'm a herbivore, I still try my best to understand it. There is nothing more valuable to science than an open mind.” “Well, the two ponies I had been living with can't see that. Now that they've heard I like cooked cow, they don't want me to live with them anymore, and...well...it kinda hurts...” Twilight's eyes widen and anxiety creases her forehead. “I'm so sorry. It's my fault isn't it? I shouldn't have asked that question! I should've known what it could entail! There's got to be something I can do! Do you--” I interrupt her, “No, you're okay. I realized that it was risky answering that question, I just didn't want to hide my...past lifestyle. Still, I really want your help.” I pause for a moment, thinking. “Do you know the pink pony with the cotton candy mane?” I ask. Twilight perks up and says, “She's my friend.” “Well, Pinkie suggested that you help me explain away my previous lifestyle, make it sound less like I'm a monster.” I look at her, concerned that she wouldn't be able to do this. Her face remains emotionless for some time, but after a few moments, the edges of her mouth creep up into a grin. “You've definitely come to the right pony.” I stand about fifteen feet from Lyra's house as Twilight knocks on the door. According to Twilight, I needed to keep my distance from Lyra, or else I'd appear overbearing and intimidating. So long as I kept my distance, Lyra would see me as shy and looking for forgiveness. Bon Bon comes to the door. A little bit of sweat beads down on my forehead, due mainly to the sun, but partially for other reasons. She whispers with Twilight a little, glancing in my direction every now and then. I can't help but feel like an animal because of it. Eventually, Bon Bon goes back inside. Is she leaving us? Twilight turns around and winks at me. Ah, so she's going to get Lyra. Lyra walks up and I can't help but feel a little bit of anxiety. Thoughts fly through my head, all relating to my worth in her presence. Will she forgive me? Does she even view me as an equal anymore? Does she just want to forget this ever happened? Twilight gestures a few times with her hoof while speaking and Lyra nods in response. During this though, Lyra refuses to glance at me throughout the entire conversation, and while that's usually a bad sign, I can't help but feel a slight amount of relief. What will I see in those eyes? Finally Twilight gestures for me to enter the household, Lyra walks back inside. On entering the house, I see Lyra and Bon Bon reclined on the sofa in the living room, I take one of the one-pony chairs to rest on and Twilight takes the other. No matter how much will I try to resolve, I cannot bring myself to look at the other ponies just a few feet away, so Twilight covers for me. She says, “From what he's told me,” Twilight gestures to me, “you two have an issue with him being a carnivore.” Bon Bon speaks up, “Yes, a--.” Lyra interrupts her before she can continue, “I...I think I've figured it out though. Why I felt so hurt. Why you don't think it's okay to eat meat, Bon Bon.” She pauses. “Have you met Spike before?” Lyra asks. “You mean that purple dragon Twilight owns?” Bon Bon responds. “Yeah.” “I've seen him a few times. He's a friendly little dragon.” “You know he's an omnivore right?” “Well, yeah, but he's never actually eaten a living, breathing animal.” “If he had grown up in a dragon colony, he wouldn't have known better. He would've eaten phoenixes without the slightest trace of guilt.” “It's a good thing we found him at birth then.” Lyra protests, “Nononono, you're looking at it wrong. You can't view someone as evil just because of their actions. I've realized that as long as you think you are doing something okay, you are exempt from guilt. After all, what if I suddenly told you that eating plants was inhumane?” Bon Bon looks at Lyra with shock. “That's preposterous, they don't have minds to think with!” “And that makes it right?! Maybe they don't have minds, but they still live. It's all a matter of perspective, and a different perspective is what made it okay to eat animals wherever he lived.” Lyra gestures toward me. Do they HAVE to talk about me in third person?! “I had trouble realizing that there was no such thing as definite evil. It's so easy to stay stuck in your own mindset, in fact, it's comfortable! But it's not a good way to think! It causes disharmony, war, anger, and sadness. Luna went all batty because of her inability to understand her sister's predicament.” The room hushes at the informal words used against their highly esteemed princess. The sound of Twilight scribbling in her notepad can be heard in the background. “I learned this after you,” Lyra looks directly at me now, her voice quavering, “tried to explain everything to me. I'm sorry...I just couldn't see past myself. All those days of living here and you never told me. I was angry, and it clouded my understanding.” Lyra sucks in a breath as she puts a hoof up to her mouth. “I'm...I-I'm...” A single tear falls down Lyra's mint-green cheek. “I'm such a jerk.” She rests her face in her hoof. I don't know what to say to her, so I remain silent, hoping that my lack of a response doesn't hurt her. Still, my persona starts to quiver with a new, strange feeling... Twilight breaks the silence and protests, “You know, I had a whole monologue planned out--” I interrupt her, “No, I think we're good.” Shivers of joy start to creep up my spine. Lyra looks up. “So, you understand why I did that then?” I reply, my voice shaking with disbelief and happiness, “I...I honestly don't care.” I suck in a deep breath, fully aware that I had immediately started falling apart at the seams. “As long as I'm here...” I drift off but try again, “As long as I'm here, and you're here...that's all that matters.” My face contorts into a wrinkled mess, but I manage to hold back my tears. She doesn't look at me, but lets out a long breath. We're both relieved. I look over to Bon Bon to see her stunned face. “Are you okay Bon Bon?” I ask her in a shaky voice. Curtly, she responds, “Yes, but I'm going to need some time to myself.” Her brow furrows as she gazes at me. “Don't mind me leaving,” she says and trots off. Minutes pass and, strangely enough, Lyra and I still avoid eye contact. While we were both happy to be accepting of each other, there remained some internal pains that we had to overcome. Twilight tries to talk again, “Yeah, about my monologue, do you mind if I say it anyways, even though you two have figured things out?” “I don't think that's necessary,” I say to Twilight. “As long as I'm welcome here, you don't need to do much else. You really helped me build the courage to see Lyra and Bon Bon, though, thanks.” I smile at her. “Well screw these then!” Twilight yells as she throws her notecards everywhere. I laugh a little at first, but soon realize how serious she is. “Hey, Twilight?” I try to calm her down. “No, it's okay. I'm going now! I ALWAYS over-prepare for everything so don't worry about me!” Her voice goes shrill. “Twilight, wait! You can do the monologue! We'll listen!” Already, I feel my status with yet another pony slipping as she fumbles around on the ground for her notecards. I walk over to her and help pick them up. “Seriously, if you want to, I wouldn't mind listening to your monologue,” I say, noticing that she had something around twenty notecards lying on the ground. Twilight's shoulders rise and fall as she takes a deep breath. She seems to have calmed herself down a bit, and I can't help but feel relieved. She explains, “Sorry about that. I just...don't take it too well when things don't go my way. I worked really hard on this monologue thingy, expecting an hour and a half of explanation to help Lyra understand your position, just to find that you two already had it all figured out! I had the whole event planned before me and it kinda just spiraled into the ground. It's not your fault, only mine. I need to work on playing things by ear.” I open my mouth to say something, but find myself unsure of how to make her feel better. She walks out the door briskly, the door swinging shut behind her. When did I start caring about how others feel? Out of the corner of my eyes, I see Lyra looking at me and feel a tinge of awkward anxiety. I've gotta break the the newly-formed ice somehow. I turn around. “Now that we're, like, best buddies, you want to walk around Ponyville for a bit?” I say while looking at her. “Sure.” Things are looking up.