Rainbow Dash: Private Detective by the Cutie Mark Crusaders

by Shakibone

From Stalliongrad with Love

“I flew off before she could have me kicked out of the crime scene, or worse, come up with a good retort.”

Applebloom finished reading the magazine, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders sat in awed silence. It was Scootaloo who broke the silence, saying what her friends were thinking:

“That is so cool!”

And for the next ten minutes, the three fillies excitedly re-read some of the paragraphs, acted out their favourite scenes, and speculated about how many ponies had read and enjoyed their story.

“I’ll bet hundreds of ponies have read it by now!” Applebloom said.

“Nuh uh,” Retorted Scootaloo “I’ll bet thousands of ponies have!”

“I’ll bet ten ponies have!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. Her friends stared at her.

“You’re supposed to say a big number, Sweetie Belle.” Scootaloo said exasperatedly.

“Oh...” Sweetie Belle paused “Twelve then!”

Scootaloo merely face hoofed, while Applebloom sat herself in front of the typewriter.

“C’mon you two, we’ve got writing to do!” She said, decisively “There could be hundreds, or thousands-”

“Or twelve!”

“Or twelve ponies, waiting for another chapter!”

“Okay!” Said Scootaloo, suddenly filled with determination “I had a great idea about that cliff hanger!”

Now, I don’t mind admitting, I was slightly worried that maybe I couldn’t make it out of there completely unharmed.

Okay, fine, I was scared. Being surrounded by manticores, cockatrices, timber wolves, lions, tigers and bears will do that to anypony. Well, anypony apart from...

“Get away from her, you varmints!”

She jumped into the ring of predators like an avenging alicorn, delivering a swift kick to a bear that had been closing in on me.

“Applejack!?” I said, startled beyond belief “What the hay are you doing here!?”

“There’s no time for that, sugar cube,” She said while bucking a manticore in the face “your suspect’s getting away!”

I briefly wondered whether this might be some sort of ploy by Blueblood to get some leads in the case, before deciding that whatever Applejack’s reasons, they could wait. The suspect was getting away.

“AJ...” I said, not wanting to leave her surrounded by deadly beasts. She may be a turncoat, but you just don’t leave your former partner like that.

“I can hold my own until you get back here and have the commie call them off, now go!”

She was right, as usual. I nodded at her, before taking the opportunity afforded by a cockatrice getting thrown at a lion to speed off into the sky.

I saw Fluttershy flying over the buildings in the distance, so I flew low, following her as quickly as I could through the streets, making sure she didn’t see me until I wanted her to.

She’d put five blocks between herself and the zoo before I dived up from the streets and tackled her, causing us both to spiral out of control. But my experience in these matters meant I was able to crash us relatively unharmed on a nearby rooftop.

The rabbit made a lunge at me, but I simply swatted him away. Don’t know what else he thought would happen.

“Okay, comrade,” I said while cuffing her to myself “I’ve got some questions for ya’, but first you’re going to call those animals off, got it?” The rabbit jumped at me again, so I grabbed him and held him to the floor “Starting with this little guy.”

Fluttershy said something in Stalliongradian and the bunny stopped struggling.

“I em sorry, detective,” She said, with tears in her eyes “I surrender.”

The bunny hopped onto her head and we flew back to the zoo, where the animals had managed to trap Applejack on top of the gift shop. However, Applejack had found a shovel somewhere which she was currently beating against the floor, causing enough of a racket to scare off the timber wolves.

“Please be stopping the violence now!” Fluttershy called, somehow managing to be heard over the racket “Get beck in your cages, please...”

The animals complied, and even closed the doors behind themselves which the rabbit then locked, while I cuffed the captured commie to a close by bench.

“Alright,” I said, rubbing the hoof I’d removed my cuff from “let’s clear up one thing first.” I rounded on Applejack, who’d gotten down off the roof “What are you doing here?”

She looked away, while pawing the ground nervously with her front hoof.

“I thought about what you said. I thought about everything I’ve done while working for Blueblood and...” She looked me in the eye, and I could tell that what she said was telling the honest to Celestia truth “You were right, RD, about everything.” She stared at the ground, ashamed “When you come right down to it, I sided with the Bad Guys. I don’t expect you to forgive me-”

“I forgive you.”

That surprised her, and she showed it.

“R-really? You mean it? After all I’ve-”

“I’m not a stubborn as you, remember?” I said, giving her a small smile, which she returned.

“I, uh, got you this from the distillery,” She said while pulling a brown bottle out of her coat “I know it’s always been your favourite.”

“Applejack Daniels!” I grabbed the bottle from her and took a mouthful of that beautiful, Celestia sent cider. I’d never been able to afford it myself, but one of the benefits of having the heiress to the biggest distillery in town as your partner was expensive hooch on the house.

I savoured that sweet golden liquid and poured the rest of the bottle into my hipflask, while Applejack eyed Fluttershy suspiciously.

“So what’s her story?”

“You should know,” I said after swallowing the enchanting elixir “you were tailing me. How did you keep up during that chase, anyway?”

“I couldn’t get close enough to eavesdrop.” She explained “And during our time as partners I had to either learn to keep up with you from the ground or miss the arrests.”

“Fair enough,” I said the tang of cider still on my tongue “as for our Stalliongrad friend over there...” I turned to Fluttershy

“She’s the one who broke into Rarity’s office, ain’t that right?”

Our suspect stared at the ground.

“Da,” She said “I em the one who did steal the Maltese Phoenix.”

“Why?” Applejack asked “It’s too valuable to sell.” So my reasoning was right.

“I em not knowing, I was ordered to!” Fluttershy replied, and suddenly her eyes were full of tears again “They said that if I did not obey, my family would be getting sent back to Stalliongrad!”

“And why would that be a problem?” AJ asked. She’d never had any sympathy for commies.

“My family escaped when Soviet Party showed true colours.” She met our gaze, and there was anger in her tear filled eyes

“They are not caring about workers! It was all lies to get in power! If my family is sent back there...” The anger left as quickly as it came, and was replaced with fear “They will be disappeared.”

Applejack was silent, so I asked:

“Who ordered you to steal the Phoenix?”

“I em not knowing thet either,” Fluttershy said, after taking a few deep breaths “I returned from working at Zoo one day, and
I em finding a letter on my bed, with a packet filled with burglar clothes.”

“Can you show us the letter?” I asked.

“Da,” She said, pulling a letter out of her pocket “I ken do zat. I have letter here.”

I read the letter, addressed to Fluttershy.

A female Unicorn named Rarity has recently obtained a small statuette called the Maltese Phoenix. If you do not steal it from her and leave it in the bin by the bench in Central Park you and your family will be deported back to Stalliongrad. Do not doubt that I have the power to carry out my threat. Rarity lives at 34 Argent Street. Do not fail.

I let Applejack look at the letter.

“Could the Phoenix still be in the bin by the bench?” I asked, but Fluttershy shook her head.

“Nyet. As I was leaving park, I saw a pony taking Phoenix out of bin.”

“Did you get a good look at them?” AJ asked, looking up from the letter.

“Nyet,” Fluttershy answered again, looking away from us “I did not stay to look. I left and wanted to forget about whole business.”

“Shoot.” Applejack said what I was thinking.

“That’s everything, then.” I said as I unlocked the hoofcuffs “You’re free to go.”

Fluttershy thanked us, picked up her bunny, and flew home.

“If you’d turned her in, Blueblood would’ve had to let Rarity go.” Applejack said as we left the Zoo.

“To what point?” I asked “Lock up one innocent pony in exchange for another?”

“She did steal the Phoenix.” Applejack pointed out, evenly.

“Somepony put her up to it.” I said “I want to know who. Besides, why are you complaining? If you thought she deserved to go to prison, you wouldn’t have let me let her go.”

Applejack didn’t answer.

We walked on in silence for a few moments.

“So what do you make of that letter?” I asked.

“It came from the Mayor’s office.”

My eyes widened at this piece of news.

“What? How do you-?”

“Blueblood’s always getting letters from the Mayor: Telling him about anypony he should arrest, where he should be turning a blind eye, that sort of thing.” Applejack pulled the letter out again “They use the same typeface. Notice how the capital ‘P’s are skewed?”

“And Blueblood lets you read his letters?” I asked sceptically.

“Well... Not really...” She replied, slightly embarrassed “But I read them anyway.”

“So... What? You think the Mayor is behind all this?” It seemed a bit of a stretch, but I wouldn’t have put such dirty dealings past her. The only reason Blueblood was Chief of Police is because Pinkerton refused to play ball with the new regime. So the Mayor had him forcefully retired.

“Could be,” Said Applejack “or if not her then somepony in her inner circle.”

“Makes sense...” I said after thinking it over for a few moments “And whoever’s high enough in City Hall to have access to that typewriter would have the authority to get Fluttershy deported.”

“The only question now,” Said Applejack “is why?”

“Let’s go find out!” I replied.

I tried to take off, but Applejack had grabbed my tail in her teeth.

“Naw, ‘old up der ‘ugar ‘coob.” She said.

I landed and asked her to repeat that.

“I said,” Now that she didn’t have my tail in her mouth I could understand her “now hold up there, sugar cube. It’s two in the morning, and I doubt if anypony would let us in to City Hall, let alone answer our questions.”

“You’re right.” I said “Tomorrow we’ll go and -” But I was interrupted by a huge yawn that escaped me, as the adrenalin of the chase wore off.

“You better get to bed, RD.” Applejack said “You still live in your office?”

“There’s nothing wrong with my office.” I replied indignantly.

“You mean apart from the fact that it’s on the other side of town.” Applejack reminded me.

“Rats.” I just wanted to crawl into bed, not fly to the other side of Manehattan.

“Well, if you want,” Said Applejack, while pawing the ground nervously “you could sleep at my place. It’s just a few blocks from here.”

It wouldn’t be the first night I’d spent at her flat. I smiled, sleepily.

“Sure. I’d like that.”

“Aww!” Sweetie Belle said. Her friends just stared at her.

“What do you mean ‘Aww’?” Applebloom asked.

“I just think it’s sweet.” Sweetie Belle replied, blushing slightly “Rainbow Dash and Applejack are together again, and now they’re going to spend the night with each other...” She let the sentence hang in the air.

“Friends have sleepovers all the time.” Applebloom said, still confused.

“Not just friends...” Sweetie Belle countered, a knowing smile spread across her face.

Scootaloo knew that expression well. It was an expression that meant “I know more than I’m letting on, but I won’t tell you unless you ask”. Well Scootaloo wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction.

“Let’s go mail Chapter Two,” She said “and then we can ask Twilight to proof read Chapter Three.”

“Okay,” Said Applebloom while Sweetie Belle began to sulk “and we can show Twilight our story in Filly Fiction while we’re there!”