//------------------------------//
// Two Humans and a Changeling Walk Into a Bar... 
// Story: The Heralds of the Apocalypse... We Think. 
// by Dropbear 
//------------------------------//

Dante grunted as he hefted up the two baskets in his hands, the wooden containers holding a multitude of shiny red apples. The marine passed ponies working in the orchards, his destination the row of barns at the end. As he walked the five-hundred metres, he focused on the ground in front of his feet.

He’d already bumped into a number of ponies, the short creatures seemingly dedicated to crossing his path right when he had a basket obscuring his vision. The wasn’t hard, in fact he believed it to be a good workout, but hauling loads of apples to barns was incredibly dull.

The farmers, all of them dressed in the same western attire, bucked all the trees while the two humans moved the baskets of apples with their hands proving to be a great asset. Thinking of his unusual companion, Dante glanced around while he walked. He failed to spot Nigel, the marine reaching a barn and walking inside.

Emptying the baskets into a wooden cart that was half-full of red apples, Dante took a second to remove his helmet and wipe some sweat off his brow. Sure, it would be easier to take it off, but Dante still didn’t fully trust these equines or Chalmers. He kept it on, a habitual tick from his times patrolling in Afghanistan.

He replaced his helmet and picked up the empty baskets, moving to head back out to the orchards. A female giggle filtering through the left wall of the barn stopped him though. Dante waited, wondering what was going on. His question was answered when the giggle was followed by a male chuckle, Dante’s brows furrowing.

‘Was that… Nigel?’ he thought as he carried his baskets outside. Peeking around the side of the barn he spotted the armoured human leaning up against the barn wall with his two baskets at his feet. In front of him chewing an apple was a green mare with an orange mane. The pony was wearing a plain yellow cowboy hat and a light blush was across her face as she took another bite. Dante started at the scene with complete confusion.

Nigel was actually being nice to a pony?

“So are you going to take off your helmet so I can see your face?” drawled the mare. Dante continued to spy as Nigel chuckled, waving a finger in the air at his admirer.

“I’m afraid that I might infect you with a dangerous dose of handsome,” Chalmers answered suavely. The mare’s face went almost as red as her half-eaten apple, the pony sitting down as she giggled into her free hoof. Dante rolled his eyes at the behaviour, the marine striding out with his baskets in hand.

“Nigel,” he called out while walking towards the pair, both the spy and the mare turning to face him. “Come on, we’ve got work to finish.” Dante swore that Chalmers was glaring at him through the helmet, however Nigel turned to the mare and nodded his head.

“I’m sorry, Ms Stillcrisp, duty calls. I look forward to continuing our conversation in the future.” The mare nodded at his apology, glancing briefly at Dante before she got up from the dusty ground and tipped her hat at Nigel.

“That’ll be great,” she replied. “I’d hate to keep you from your work and I better get back to bucking trees myself. Catch you around, Nigel.” Chalmers gave a final wave as Stillcrisp left for the fields behind the barn, before he picked up his two empty baskets and headed back out to continue working.

“Wanker,” he insulted as he passed Dante, the marine just shaking his head and following the grumpy human.

‘I hope he doesn’t take my suggestion to be friendly that far,' Dante thought with a final head shake as he walked over to an empty tree surrounded by fallen apples, a full afternoon’s work still ahead of him.







Dante raised his head as the ending whistle sounded. A habit for him, from his childhood of working on his grandpa's farm. He pulled his neck to the right, popping it, then doing the same for his left side.Needless to say, the sudden sound spooked a few of the equines, who looked to Dante in shock. He didn't talk to them, however, and just began walking to find Nigel.

The AK heavy on his back, Dante stopped to question a gaggle of mares at a water trough.

“Excuse me, ladies. Have you seen a chimpish, pompous, arrogant, cocky, cheesy Human?”

The mares looked at him with confusion, Dante sighing as he dragged his hand down his face. “He’s bipedal, tall and wearing black armour?” The mares all nodded in realisation. 

"Oh, him! Uh, I think he was over by the second barn, last I saw," one of the mares responded and pointed a hoof towards the structure.
Dante thanked them for their time and began heading for the barn that she had pointed out,  wondering what he would discover.

"I give up!"

Nigel’s voice yelled as Dante cleared the corner and walked into the shade of the barn. Dante could only stare at the prone and stationary form of the armored Human as Nigel groaned. He walked up to Nigel, and started to unmercilessly nudge him with his foot.

"Farming's a lot more difficult than shooting people, isn't it?" Dante questioned.

Nigel merely shifted his head to stare up at Dante.

"No, I just didn’t go through years of training to pick apples up off the ground, my time is worth more." Nigel complained.

"I farmed tobacco for eighteen years, if you thought this was boring, you've no idea." Dante explained. 

“I thought you worked on a horse farm?”

“That was my dad’s property. Every summer I went to work on my Grandpa’s tobacco farm.”

"That's not fair! You're used to doing meaningless work!"

During this little squabble, Braeburn had found the two and approached them with a grin.

"That was some darned good workin' you two, I ain't never seen stallions work as long as you two did." Braeburn said. 

"Speak bloody proper English, you filthy animal." Dante nudged Nigel's body with his foot harder than last time to try and keep him civil. 

“Thanks,” Dante replied to Braeburn as the stallion backed away a little from Chalmers. “As you can tell, even we can get a little tired after some hard work.” 

“I’m not tired!” Nigel elaborated as he sat up from the floor. “I hate apples, I’m sick of apples, all it’s been is apples!” Braeburn seemed to relax a little, a nervous grin on his face as red  eyes glared at him. 

“Oh, I was actually going tell you that I have your pay here,” Braeburn informed as he moved his head to a brown saddle bag on his back. He pulled out a small cloth bag, jingling with coins, and passed it to Dante. A second one of equal size was removed soon after, Braeburn deciding to just drop it at Nigel’s side without risking contact with the grumpy creature. 

Dante opened his bag, finding a pile of golden coins within. 

“I was also wonderin’ if you’d both like to come down to the saloon for a welcome drink. I’m sure everypony would like to meet you both.” Braeburn glanced at Nigel, his smile wavering a bit as the armoured biped stood up and towered over him. 

“Welcome drinks?” Chalmers inquired. “Would these drinks happen to be of the alcoholic type?” Braeburn nodded, the tension in the air immediately lifting. “Great!” Nigel exclaimed with sudden joy in his voice, much to the surprise of Dante and Braeburn. “Let’s go and get drunk!” 

Nigel patted Braeburn on the head before strolling out of the barn, Dante and the pony sharing a look. 

“You’re going to regret this,” Dante informed Braeburn with a shake of his head, the human following the whistling ISA soldier as Braeburn hesitantly began to trot after him, the stallion trying to decipher just what Dante meant. 




 


“... So I said to the guy, ‘Apples? Those there are bananas!’” 

Dante sighed as he took a sip of his cider, the marine sitting by himself at the back corner table. As time had went on in the saloon, Nigel had grown more and more friendly with the ponies, seemingly dictated by the amount of alcohol he consumed. At the moment he was sitting at the centre table surrounded by the bar mares and stallions, all the patrons hanging on to his every word. 

A roar of laughter followed the punchline, Dante still not getting what was so funny. Then again, he also seemed to be the only one who was not full of freshly made cider. Unlike his fellow human-in-crime, he was not under the impression that getting wasted in the current circumstances was the best idea. 

“Oh, that was great!” Braeburn chuckled out as he banged a hoof on the table, the stallion seated to Nigel’s left. “I thought that you were nothing but a sourpuss, but pardner you can tell a mean joke.” 

“I didn’t just become an officer because of my good looks you know,” Nigel retorted as he placed a hand on his chest. His helmet was off and placed on his lap, his brown hair was the same colour as the table and already he had mares inform him that he shouldn’t cut it so short. Nigel turned around the face Dante, his blue eyes narrowing with mischief. “The lack of wit is possibly why Dante here is still a Corporal, isn’t that right Dante?” 

The marine rolled his eyes, wise enough to not argue with a drunk. Someone else didn’t understand that way of thinking, a certain yellow mare walking through the saloon doors and standing stock straight as she noticed Chalmers sitting at the table. 

“You!” she spluttered out, Dante glancing at the mare as everyone else looked at her. He got the feeling that they had met before, evidently Nigel had the same thought as the armoured human leaned forward in confusion. A yellow hoof pointed towards him, Chalmers scratching his head as four stallions, each varying shades of orange and wearing brown vests, entered behind the mare. 

“Um, have we met?” Nigel asked, his words slightly slurred as the rest of the bar-goers watched the two converse. Dante was quite content to continue minding his own business and kept out of the argument, his mind remembering that this was the racist mare that they had encountered in the city. 

“Met!?” the mare huffed, annoyed that she had been forgotten. “You don’t remember what happened in Manehatten?” Nigel searched his memory, not recalling anything to do with the mare so he asked the first thing that came to his mind. 

“We… slept together?” Nigel asked hesitantly, drawing gasps from the patrons around him, a few of the drunken stallions whistling with approval. The mare’s face turned a full red from a combination of embarrassment and anger. The four stallions accompanying the mare glanced at her with shocked looks as she bared her teeth in a growl. 

“What!? No! Why would I do something like that with a… with a hairless monkey!” Ponies winced at the insult, memories of the buffalo tensions still fresh in their minds. 

“Desperation?” Nigel supplied with a shrug, the mare getting even angrier at the implication of ugliness. 

“You Beast!” she accused, Dante deciding to step in before things got worse. He stood up from his table and walked out, holding his hands out as the five new ponies looked at him. 

“Woah there Miss,” Dante spoke up as the mare’s angry glare was focused on him. “We’re just trying to have a drink after work. There’s no need to be upset.” 

“Upset!” the mare continued as her hoof pointed at him. “You called me a whorse on the street! Your kind are nothing but trouble!” Dante noticed that the four stallions had narrowed their eyes at him and looked ready to charge. He decided that keeping his hands up and playing it cool would be the best idea. 

“Are you a horse though?” Nigel asked, Dante wincing at what was to come. 

“That’s it!” the mare yelled with rage. “Brothers, protect me from these cruel creatures!” 

The four stallions shared a look between them before nodding, Dante about to apologise to prevent a fight. His plan failed however, Nigel beating him to it again. 

“Oh, the hillbilly has a large family, what a bloody surprise!”  

All hell broke loose, the stallions focusing on the closest target. 

Dante. 

“Fuck you Nigel,” was all Dante had to say before he was flung back into his table from a vicious buck from one of the stallions. The table splintered under his bulk, his combat backpack and camelback softening his fall. His groin guard thankfully protected his little Dante from the stallion’s kick, a vicious crack however signaled that it had payed the ultimate price for it’s sacrifice. Dante groaned and tried to get to his feet, his body ached from the hit but he knew he needed to get up. 

“Come at me if you think you’re hard enough!” 

Dante managed to turn his head towards the voice, stallions and mares screaming while running out of the bar around the combatants. Three of the stallions were advancing on Nigel, the ISA agent having stood up and was currently waving a cider bottle in the air. Approaching hoofsteps broke Dante away from the scene, the marine identifying the last stallion. 

The pony, a brawny stallion with a dirty brown mane, glared at Dante and stopped five metres away. 

“So you’re still awake,” the stallion snorted. “I’m going to break your face for calling my my lil’ sis a whorse!” The pony went to charge, Dante unable to reach his gun so he reached around for something to defend himself with. As the pony closed, his hand found a solid object and he threw it with all his might. 

The bronze spittoon, laden with half-a-nights worth of spit, soared through the air at the approaching stallion. Its flight was magnificent, none of its contents spilling as it traveled straight and true. 

The Stallion dodged. 

The pony dove to the ground, the thrown projectile passing over it as Dante cursed his luck. It didn’t just crash to the ground, at the apex of its arc the spittoon started to rotate.In it’s path, staring at the oncoming pot with fear, was the yellow mare that had started the whole fight. 

She had enough time to scream, a wave of spit washing over her, before the solid metal pot made contact with her face. She dropped to the ground, Dante opened mouthed at the sight. 

“I’ll kill you!” 

The angry yell reminded Dante that the danger wasn’t over yet, the stallion from before off the floor and galloping towards him. The pony reared up over Dante, aiming to bring his forehooves down upon the marine’s face. Dante shielded his face with his arm, a fruitless gesture if the force of the previous kick was anything to go off. 

The arm didn’t protect his face from the pony’s hooves, but it did defend it from the shards of glass that exploded everywhere as a cider bottle nailed the stallion in the side of the head. Dante opened his eyes and lowered his arm as his knocked-out assailant slumped to the floor, wincing at the small cuts near his mouth that had been caused by the glass. 

“That right there is how you throw something at a pony!” 

Dante sat up and looked towards Nigel’s voice, the biped standing over a smashed table with his helmet back on his head. Three stallions were deposited around him, all resting in various pieces of broken tables and stools. Dante noticed that almost all the patrons in the saloon had left. The two bartenders,  identical twins with the same red mustaches and pinstripe suits, peered out over the bar as Dante struggled to his feet. 

“Fine, I’ll give you that, even if I took some shards to the face,” Dante grumbled out. 

“Double points!” Nigel exclaimed, still a little tipsy from the booze. Dante shook his head and let it go, after all it could be worse. 

“Whatever, what do we do now?” Dante questioned as he looked around. A jingling caught his attention and he paused, Nigel was crouched down and looting the bodies of his defeated opponents. “Really man?”

“Yes,” Nigel answered as he picked up bags full of coins. “In all the old video games, you’re supposed to loot your fallen enemies so you can buy pretty swords and potions. I figure that these ponies will have lots of potions and pretty swords, and lots of money is always a good thing anyway.” Dante sighed, there wasn’t much he could do to stop him. 

“Why old video games?” Dante inquired as Nigel stood up. “Don’t you have video games in the future, or alternate dimension or whatever?” 

“Oh, we do,” Nigel replied as he moved to the front door. “They’re less ‘Dragon-slaying, body-looting’ and more ‘This is how you fight for empire, die for empire. Empire is all.’ Works wonders for military recruitment after the compulsory four years of service.” 

“Compulsory military service?” Dante questioned as Nigel nudged the knocked-out mare with his foot. “Are you like space nazis or something?” Nigel paused at the question. 

“Weren't the Nazis a boy band in the Twentieth Century?” Nigel looked out the door as he asked Dante the query. Dante was about to point out just how ridiculously wrong Chalmers was but he was interrupted as Nigel turned around and headed straight to the bar counter. 

“We… may be in a bit of trouble with the locals.” Dante frowned and moved to the door. 

“Shit.” 

Looking outside, Dante could see some armoured pegasi guards landing in the moon-lit street. A stallion was informing the twenty armed guards about the fight, Dante overhearing the words ‘brawl’, ‘humans’, and ‘cider bottle’. He quickly hide behind the side of the doors as the guard leader looked in his direction, Dante heading straight over to Nigel who was in the middle of hauling one of the bartenders up by his shirt. 

“You, pony unicorn,” Nigel addressed, the sweating bartender using a free hoof to tip his hat. nervously. 

“Flim,” the stallion greeted nervously as his twin watched from his spot backed up against the corner. Dante noticed that they both seemed lankier and taller than the other ponies they had met,  Nigel pointing a finger towards a door nestled between two tables at the back of the saloon. 

“Don’t care. Does that door lead outside?” Flim nodded his head rapidly at Chalmer’s question. 

“Yes, sir, it sure does!” the unicorn answered with haste. “It’s locked though, and the manager has the only key.” Nigel leaned down, his helmet touching the unicorn’s muzzle.

“Where is this manager?” Flim gulped at this, the other unicorn speaking up from the corner. 

“Visiting Canterlot.” 

“Great!” Nigel announced sarcastically as he dropped Flim back on the counter before taking out one of the looted coin bags from his suit. “This is for the door,” he tossed the purse to Flim before looking around at the broken furniture and unconscious ponies and withdrawing a second bag. “Actually, you should take a second one.” 

“Nigel,” Dante spoke up as he moved to the back door. “Hurry up, the guards are coming.” Nigel sighed and shrugged at the bar tenders. 

“Sorry gents,” Nigel apologised. “But we have prior history with the golden cans. Apologies for the mess.” With that Nigel burst into a run, his armoured bulk closing on the back door as the first guards entered the saloon. 

“Halt criminal scum!” a male pegasus ordered, Dante reaching around for his rifle in preparation for another fight. It wasn’t needed, Nigel barreling easily through the wooden door and turning it to match wood. 

“Book it!” Nigel yelled as he continued running, Dante giving the suprised guards a final glance before he ran out the door into a dusty alley. He spotted Nigel at the end facing away from the main street, the armoured human not moving. Dante ran up to him, shouting as he did so. 

“What the hell do we do now?” 

“We steal.” 

Dante was about to ask Nigel if he was on meth before he saw what held the ISA agent’s attention, the marine skidding to a halt as he reached to alley mouth. 

Before the pair was a strange machine, a twisted combination of a red carriage and a train. The rear held a mass of machinery, pipes and jars while the front  half was equipped with a red couch, a cow-catcher and a podium with a steering wheel. On the side, written in gold, were the words ‘Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000’ and a picture of a mug of apple cider beside it. 

“What. The. Hell.” Dante questioned, Nigel climbing up onto the front of the machine. 

“It will make a fine getaway vehicle,” Nigel observed as guards started to pour out of the saloon’s back door. “We must rename it to ‘The Pimpalicious Nine-Hundred’, because steampunk is cool.” 

“No time,” Dante mentioned as he climbed onto the vehicle and fired a shot in the air to keep the pegasi at bay, the guards recovering quicker than before. “They’re getting closer, drive!” 

Nigel was met with an issue, that issue being that he had no clue how to drive steampunk carriages. He gazed at a small panel below the wheel, ten multicoloured buttons arrayed into two rows of five. Not knowing which one was go, he resorted to an age-old method. 

He pressed every button. 

The car started forward with a belch of sparkly green smoke rising up from it’s smokestacks, Nigel gripping the wheel and steering it around the corner, heading out of the town and into the desert. 

“They’re still coming!” 

Nigel turned his head around, spotting Dante aiming his weapon at a horde of flying guards. 

“I forgot they could fly!” Nigel called out, Dante looking at him with disbelief. 

“Real fucking helpful!” he replied, Nigel veering the car sharply to the left in an attempt to shake their pursuers. 

“Shoot them then!” 

“I don’t want to kill any!” Nigel almost laughed at the response as he glanced back. 

“Some soldier you are!” he criticised before he spotted a mass of wooden mugs being stored in a rack at the back after being filled with a green liquid. “Throw mugs at them if you’re too pansy to shoot!” 

Dante turned, spotting the rack mounted on the side of the vehicle near a large barrel with a funnel. He slung the rifle over his back and grabbed two, a pegasus with a golden spear almost upon them. Dante threw the mugs at the flying pony, the pegasus’s glare turning to a look of horror as the two mugs flew at him. 

Cider drenched the guard before the mugs themselves impacted, one hitting his armoured chest while the other smacked into his wing. The hit to wing caused the pony to fall into a dive, the pegasus crashing into the desert floor with a plume of dust. Dante winced, he hoped that the guard wasn’t too badly injured, he didn’t like hurting these ponies. 

“Haha! Nailed the Bastard!” Nigel had no such qualms, the agent cackling as he drove the car around hills and sand dunes. Dante would have retorted with an explanation of why injuring little ponies was no cause for celebration, but he was interrupted as two more of the equines flew towards them. 

The rest had stopped back at the fallen guard, leaving the pair of flying guards to engage the humans. Dante began to throw mug after mug at the two, the ponies dodging every shot. The marine mentally wondered just where all the mugs and cider was coming from, the machine seeming to not run out. 

He continued to throw the drinks despite the questions, one of the guards venturing a little close. A mug hit him in the helmet, the pony slowing as she shook her head to clear the cider from her eyes. Her fellow guard looked back as a shrill whistle sounded, the ponies giving the humans a final glare before retreating. 

“They’re falling back!” Dante informed, yelling so he could be heard over the rushing wind. 

“Great,” Nigel called back from the wheel. “Pass me one of those mugs, I could use a drink.”







As it turns out, a machine that makes cider while it drives is a problem just waiting to happen. Nigel had continued to drink and drive while Dante sat down on the red chair, the marine having given up on trying to persuade his fellow human otherwise. He just decided to go with the flow, at least Nigel had stopped arguing and whining every three seconds. 

“This car is the best!” Nigel announced as he honked the horn mounted beside the well, the headlights at the front blazing away into the night. He had removed his helmet earlier and attached it to his waist by a magnetic clamp, allowing him to drink his cider as he pleased. 

They went over a dune, Dante jolting in the seat as they did so. 

“Nigel, slow down,” he requested, their proximity meaning that yelling was not needed. Nigel turned back, a mad grin on his face. 

“Hell no, slowing down and driving safely is for the weak!” As Nigel was explaining his flawed logic, Dante caught the glimpse of a shape in the headlights. 

“Look out you Fuc-” 

Dante’s warning and insult was interrupted by a thump and a disturbing scream, the unknown animal was flung off the cowcatcher into the night as Nigel slammed on the breaks. Both humans were almost thrown off their pilfered ride before it squealed to a stop, both of them breathing deeply as the green glow powering the machine died out. 

“What just happened?” Nigel asked, Dante jumping down from his seat onto the desert floor. 

“You hit an animal because you weren't paying attention, idiot.” 

“Well, sorry,” Nigel replied with an eye roll as he also left the car. “Maybe animals shouldn’t stand where I’m driving.” Dante didn’t bother with a response, the human searching for the creature they had hit. A groan of pain drew him to a dune, Dante walking up it to peer over the edge. 

Down in the sand was a strange equine-like creature, the quadruped's limbs twitching as it lay on the ground. It looked like a pony but instead of fur it had solid black skin that seemed to be made from a hard substance. On its head was a jagged horn and on its back was a pair of insectoid wings. It had no mane but it did have a short black tail, as well as a plethora of holes in its legs. 

As Nigel grumbled to himself by the car, Dante sighed and walked down to the creature. He looked it over, the alien animal appearing to be in a great deal of pain with its eyes shut. Seeing this, and having no knowledge of what it even was, Dante decided to do the humane thing and put it out of its misery. 

He pulled his rifle off his backpack and aimed it at the creature’s head, the animal still laying on the ground and twitching its limbs. Dante hesitated pulling the trigger of the AK, despite its insectoid appearance the creature still reminded him of his horses back on Earth. 

“Sorry.” 

Dante went to squeeze the trigger, aiming to end the animal’s life and pain. 

“Wait!” Dante stopped and looked behind him, Nigel sliding down the dune before stopping at the wounded creature. The armoured human bent down and examined the bug, his hand pushing the muzzle of Dante’s gun away. “Don’t shoot it.” 

“Why not?” Dante asked as Nigel poked the twitching animal with an armoured finger. “There’s nothing we can do for it and it’s obviously hurt. Putting it down is the right thing to do.” 

“But it’s so evil looking and cute at the same time!” Nigel shook his head, Dante wondering what had gotten into the callous soldier. He watched as Chalmers placed a fist against the animal’s neck, Nigel tapping on a glowing panel that opened up on his arm armour. 

Dante jerked back as a needle punched through the creature’s skin and injected a clear liquid into its bloodstream. A small trail of blood, green, dribbled out of the wound as Nigel withdrew the needle. 

“What did you just do?” Dante asked, the creature’s eyes snapping open. Both humans watched as the animal began to flail its limbs, its solid blue eyes darting around franticly. 

“Put drugs into it,” Nigel remarked casually as he grinned at the struggling animal. 

“...How much?” Dante asked as the creature seemed to focus on the moon, it’s mouth opening in a fang-filled grin. 

“Standard dose for an adult huma…” Nigel stopped, Dante rubbing his face with a hand as the injured creature began to make a wooing sound at the moon. “Whoops.”

“Whoops indeed,” Dante agreed, walking back to the vehicle while shaking his head. Nigel shrugged and slid his hands underneath the drugged creature. He lifted it up, the animal still gazing at the full moon in awe. Smiling at his new acquisition, Nigel walked up the dune and headed back to the car. Dante looked over from the side of the machine, the marine shaking his head again. 

“No, you’re not keeping it,” Dante lectured and was met with a raised finger from Nigel as the agent hugged the animal to his armoured chest. 

“I am, you’re not my Assistant Director.” Nigel shifted both hands to under the creature’s armpits and held it out in front of him. The animal’s gaze moved from the moon to Nigel’s face, the wooing sound stopping. “I shall name you… Biggles!” Dante closed his eyes and took a deep breath, not expecting this conversation to end well. 

“Why ‘Biggles’? You don’t even know if its a male.” Nigel seemed to think for a second before he raised Biggles into the air. He examined the animal before lowering it back down and hugging it, Biggles nestling into the embrace and licking the black chest armour like a dog. 

“He’s a male,” Nigel stated. Dante grinded his teeth and giving up. 

“Fine, keep it.” Dante got back on the machine, Nigel following and heading for the wheel. He was stopped when Dante blocked his path and pointed at the red couch. “No way in hell are you driving again, sit down.” Whether it was his tipsy state or his new pet Dante wasn’t too sure, but Nigel sat down on the seat without a word of complaint. It worked for him, after all the less dicking around from Nigel the better. Dante pressed a large green button, assuming that it would turn the vehicle back on. 

Nothing happened. 

“Are we there yet?” Nigel asked from the seat, Dante turning around with a frown. 

“Shut up.” Facing the controls again, Dante started to press every button in order to no effect. A sigh sounded from behind him, Nigel getting up and pushing him out of the way. 

“Let a professional handle it.” With that, Nigel slammed his free hand down on the controls. Still nothing happened. Dante threw his hands up in the air, the marine looking up at the starry sky. 

“Why!?” 

“Stop complaining,” Nigel instructed as he walked to the back of the machine, the red wall of the rear end in his sights. “Like all machinery, all it needs is a little love tap to get it working again.” Dante had no time to tell Nigel why that was not a good idea, the ISA agent’s armoured boot already swinging towards the red metal. 

Dante winced as a clang rang out, Nigel’s boot going right through the wall and into the machinery that powered the contraption. It shuddered, a final puff of green smoke escaping from the smoke stacks before the glow died completely. Nigel pulled his boot from the wreckage and rotated to face Dante, the marine staring in disbelief. 

“Yep,” Nigel stated with a sagely nod as he patted the cooing Biggles on the head.  

“It’s broken.” 




 


“This sucks.” 

“Well Nigel,” Dante began while the two trudged through the desert sand. “Maybe if you didn’t break the car, then we wouldn’t have to walk through the desert.” 

“It’s not my fault it stopped working,” Nigel shot back as he adjusted the sleeping animal’s position in his arms. “It was made of shoddy materials.”

“You kicked it,” Dante reminded him. 

“Whatever,” Nigel answered with a huff. “It’s broken, there’s nothing we can do about it so just walk.” Dante rolled his eyes at Chalmer’s immaturity and willed his legs to continue moving forward. Somewhere, possibly back at the saloon, his camelback had ruptured, leaking all of his precious water. His spare canteen was almost dry, only a few dregs left at the bottom. 

“Do you have any water?” 

“... No.” Dante stopped at the lie. 

“Bullshit, stop hoarding and share.” 

“I can’t,” Nigel replied as Biggles continued to sleep in his arms. “My armour has an inbuilt system, it’s not like it has a tap on the left arsecheek that allows me to share it.” 

Dante sighed and continued to walk, they needed to find a source of water soon or else he’d be done for. Nigel seemed completely oblivious to this issue, whistling merrily as he led from the front. 

They continued to walk, the moon beginning to descend towards the horizon. Dante’s thirst worsened, the marine trying to convince Nigel again. 

“Nigel, come on man, are you really trying to tell me that advanced space armour is unable to produce a single drop of water for someone else?” Nigel turned around and started to walk backwards, holding Biggles out in front of him. 

“You see Biggles here?” Nigel asked as he waved the sleeping animal in the air. “Biggles isn’t complaining about having no water.” Dante sighed as he continued walking. 

“Biggles is currently asleep and drugged,” Dante explained to Nigel. “How is he going to complain when you ran into him, drugged him, and then claimed him as a pet?” 

“Those points are true,” Nigel answered as he began to walk up a dune, still facing Dante. “However, what is also true is that you’re a-” 

Nigel was interrupted as he suddenly fell backwards off the dune, his insult cut off as he toppled over. Dante froze, considering whether to help or not. 

“Dante! There are more Biggles in this cave!” 

“What?” Dante rushed over to the dune. He peered over the edge and spotted Nigel at the bottom of an eight metre drop. The agent was in a crouch, in the process of getting up to his feet. Biggles was still in his arms and strangely still asleep,  Nigel’s vision staring into a black cave under the earth. Unlike Nigel, Dante skillfully slide down the dune and landed on his feet at the bottom, lifting his glasses up to peer into the darkness. 

Staring back at the two humans, and pet animal, were about thirty creatures that looked exactly like Biggles. The insects lowered their heads and hissed at the intruders, Dante raising his hands as Nigel held onto Biggles. 

“Nigel,” Dante began slowly, the creatures not moving forward but he saw a few retreat into the cave. “Maybe you should let Biggles go.” Nigel clutched Biggles, who had awoken at the hissing and was now struggling in Nigel’s arms. Chalmers held him tighter as he shielded Biggles from the hissing creatures. 

“Hell no!” he replied while glaring at the hissing creatures. 

“Please let me go.” 

Both Nigel and Dante stared down at Biggles with surprise as the creature spoke. 

“Biggles!” Nigel exclaimed as he looked down towards him. “You can talk!” 

The other creatures ceased their hissing, their angry looks fading to ones of confusion. Biggles shifted uncomfortably in Nigel’s arms, the drugs evidently having worn off. 

“I can,” he answer, wincing as Nigel hugged him again. “Why are you holding me, and why are you calling me Biggles?” 

“Well,” Dante started, still keeping an eye on the other creatures. “Nigel was drinking and driving, so we accidently-”

“Found you dying in the desert next to a fallen meteor,” Nigel cut in as he gave Dante a glance. “I accidently injected you with a larger amount painkillers than expected, and they kind of put you under for longer than expected. Then, risking life and limb, I carried you like my own child across the harsh, unforgiving desert in search of safety.” Biggles paused at this, his head lowered in thought. 

“Nigel,” Dante whispered. “Just let him go. It’s a sapient creature and its friends don’t seem too pleased with you.” Nigel looked up, seeing that more and more of the insect-equines were appearing from the depths of the cave. These new creatures seemed to have a heavier chitin plating and longer, sharper looking horns. 

“Fine,” Nigel grumbled as he placed Biggles on the ground. The creature got to his hooves shakily before looking towards Nigel. 

“Uh, look,” Biggles said as his fellows moved towards him. “Whatever happened, thanks for bringing me back.” Nigel and Dante decided to not mention that they had no clue what they were doing. Biggles was helped back into the cave by two of the other creatures, leaving the two humans to face fifty identical equines. 

“So,” Nigel began as he shed a manly tear at the departure of his friend. “Nice weather we’re having.” 

“Really?” Dante questioned as he shot Nigel a sideways glance. “Can’t you come up with anything else?” 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Nigel shot back sarcastically. “I forgot about the repository of knowledge and wit standing next to me. Tell you what Dante, why don’t you offer a solution to this problem? You’re the one that needs water.”

“And you’re the idiot that crashed the car and got us lost in the first place!” Dante replied with his voice raised. The insects stared at the two arguing creatures in confusion, wondering why them seemed so focused on fighting with each other all the time. 

“Excuse me, bipeds,” the largest insect-equine present addressed hesitantly. “The Queen wants us to bring you to her.” Nigel stood up straight, Dante grumbling to himself as he tried to repress his anger. 

“Very well,” Nigel stated. “Take us to your leader.” A loud sigh from Dante drew the attention of everyone, the marine having placed his face in his hands. 

“Lord, what did I do to deserve such a punishment?” Dante breathed out, one of the creatures looking at him with concern.

“Is he okay?” the female, judging from the voice, asked. 

“Yep,” Nigel responded as he began to walk into the cave, the creatures surrounding him and Dante as they moved into the darkness. “He’s just a little over-dramatic.” Dante raised his face from his hands, not even bothering to grace Nigel with a reply. Instead, he glanced down at one of the creatures walking next to him. 

“Hey you,” he addressed, the bug looking up at him with its horn alight to help illuminate the area. “What is your species called anyway?” 

“Changelings, I’m specifically a drone,” he answered with a confused look. “You really haven’t heard of us?” 

“Well, we did think that Bigg- the changeling we rescued was an animal. So no, we have no idea about changelings.” The changeling nodded and glanced ahead, the large form of Nigel reflecting the green glow coming from the changelings’ horns. 

“What is your species called? Is your friend a different class or another species altoghether?” 

“First off,” Dante began firmly. “Nigel is not my friend, we merely travel together to increase our chances against those golden cans on legs.” The changeling got what Dante meant by ‘golden cans’ a few seconds later. 

“You're wanted by Equestrian guards?” he asked, a wave of murmurs going through the changelings as they overheard. Dante noticed that Nigel was being unusually quiet, the agent’s head moving from side to side like he was looking for something. 

“Yep,” Dante answered, prompting a follow up question from the inquisitive drone. 

“What did you do to deserve that?” Dante paused and began to count off his fingers, a large number of the changelings stopping with him while Nigel and his escort moved on without them. 

“Disturbing the peace, assault on police officers, theft, not paying for a train ticket, assault again, grand theft auto, more assault and that’s it so far.” Dante reconsidered some of the past events. “Oh, and I guess we can probably add a few counts of attempted murder; Nigel gets a little enthusiastic.” All the changelings looked towards the group way out in front, a faint whistling coming from the armoured human. 

“Okay…” the drone responded with a nod. “That might do it.” Dante shrugged and began to walk again, his guards moving with him. 

“I’m pretty much along for the ride at the moment,” he added. “As for the species, we’re both humans as far as I can tell, Nigel was a little vague when he introduced himself.” 

“Oh,” a female drone entered the conversation. “We thought he was one of your human soldier caste.” Dante felt a little insulted at the implication. 

“Actually, I’m a marine, which is a type of soldier.” he informed, the changelings glancing over his form. 

“You have some armour, but he has more,” one of the changeling soldiers observed while nodding. “That must mean he’s higher up or a better caste of soldier.” Dante ground his teeth. 

“No, we’re just from different places. We only met after we arrived on this planet.” This revelation brought some surprised looks his way, Dante figuring that announcing their alien origins was probably not the best idea. Still, he continued to defend himself. “Besides, from what i’ve seen of his lack of discipline, I doubt he’s a good soldier even with his fancy armour.” Nigel must have heard the jibe somehow, the ISA agent singing at the top of his lungs. 

“I have killed ten-thousand men, and I would kill ten-thousand more-” 

“Shut the Fuck up Nigel!” Dante yelled, his voice echoing around the cave. The walls of the tunnel had lost all rocky texture and were instead constructed from a smooth, grey-green substance. Torches affixed to the walls and filled with glowing green goo provided lighting, the air getting warmer as they went deeper down into the earth. 

“Make me, Princess!” came the reply as the startled changelings winced at the harsh exchange. 

“Please,” one male soldier asked from up where Nigel was. “Both of you behave, you are meeting the Queen.”

“I can only promise to try,” Nigel replied as Dante’s group caught up with him. Dante and the changeling soldier shook their heads and sighed simultaneously. With the two groups merged, the two humans and their horde of changelings approached a large mouth in the tunnel, Nigel and Dante having no idea of what awaited them inside. 







Chrysalis sat upon her ebony throne in the middle of her royal chambers,drumming her forehooves against the armrests. Her drones and soldiers had reported that two unknown creatures had entered the cave with an injured scout. She had ordered them to escort the creatures to her, so that she could determine if they were a threat, or more importantly, a potential food source. 

The four, heavy-set guards flanking her throne stiffened and looked towards a doorway, the sounds of approaching steps echoing off the smooth, black walls. Chrysalis raised her eyebrows as two bipeds entered the room. Her changelings escorting them bowed, the bipeds not showing her the same respect. 

“The two humans as you requested, my Queen,” a male soldier addressed. 

“I see,” Chrysalis replied as she examined to two different ‘humans’, the creatures doing to same to her. She looked at the one on the left, shorter and wearing oddly coloured clothing decorated with tan and brown blotches. It’s face was a light bronze, and the eyes were hidden behind black sunglasses. Many bags and pouches covered it’s body, their contents a mystery. Chrysalis shifted her gaze to the other human, this one much more intimidating. 

This one was covered in a hard black shell, no trace of skin or cloth to be found. Two red eyes looked back at her, Chrysalis shifting in her seat uncomfortably at the stare. Both humans appeared to be carrying no weapons, and so far they had been cooperative. Chrysalis decided that a diplomatic approach would be the best, they were both taller than her and after the recent failure to invade Canterlot, risking a war with a new race would be unwise. 

“Greetings, humans,” she began. “I am Queen Chrysalis, and I have been informed that you have brought back on of my subjects.” 

“Corporal Dante McClure, United States Marine Corps,” the left biped introduced as he straightened up and saluted. Chrysalis looked to the other biped expectantly, wondering what his introduction would be. 

“I’m Nigel.” Chrysalis smirked as the smaller human broke his salute to elbow his companion in the side. 

“Nigel, do a proper introduction. She is a Queen.” The biped named Nigel sighed and shrugged. 

“Fine then. Commander Nigel M Chalmers, United Imperium of Planets, Internal Security Agency. Despoiler of the Balthazar sector, Pillager of the Gilgamesh galaxy, Lord and Saviour Jesu-”

“Nigel!” Dante cut in. “Enough!” 

Chrysalis watched the two argue, a small smile forming on her face. They amused her. 

“Let’s just stick to Dante and Nigel, it’s what I prefer,” she informed. 

“Good enough for me,” Nigel replied, while Dante merely nodded. 

“Moving on,” Chrysalis continued as she leaned forward. “You have my thanks for returning my scout after his unfortunate accident with… a rock I believe?” 

“Yes,” Nigel answered. “Biggles had an accident with a space rock. And nothing more.” Dante shook his head, Chrysalis not noticing due to her surprise at the name given to the scout. 

“Biggles?” she questioned with a grin. “That’s hilarious! From now on Drone Three-Seven-Four-Six shall be known as Biggles. I decree it so!” The guards beside Chrysalis nodded, the Queen turning back to her guests. “I assume that you are unfamiliar with our people?” 

“We’ve met ponies-” 

“We are not ponies!” Chrysalis interrupted Dante with a snarl. “Those Equestrians will pay for the embarrassment they caused me! As soon as I have enough love I will rebuild my army and conquer them!” 

“Well… then. I’ve heard some spirited declarations of revenge before, granted, most of them got blown up before they could carry it out. But even they didn’t match the level you brought it to.”

“Leave her alone Dante,” Nigel defended as he turned to the Queen. “Evil is great, and revenge is always needed. Those Equestrians haven’t exactly been that welcoming to us after all.”

“You… you attacked them with a lamppost,” Dante pointed out.

“They started it,” Nigel retorted. “That’s what they get for trying to arrest me.” 

“This isn’t kindergarten.”

“Oh really?” Nigel replied in a high pitched voice as he began to prance around. “Did your’s never have fluffy unicorns and magical horsies? I guess that my childhood must have just been special.” Nigel stopped his prancing, the changelings and Chrysalis staring at him. “You stupid twat.” 

“Oh, look. A special snowflake. My childhood involved having twenty different horses nearly stomp me to death and quite a few broken ribs, as well as smoke inhalation from the tobacco farm.”

“Oh, you poor, innocent creature,” Nigel replied with his voice dripping with false compassion. “I must have misjudged you, your horrible life is so much worse than being raised to serve in the military for a fascist empire until death. So terrible that the fact that I fight and kill every day is made to seem like a riverside picnic. Woe to you.” Chrysalis found herself drawn into the conversation, these two were just so… interesting. 

“You like fighting though,” Dante observed. “So stop complaining.” 

“I’m not complaining,” Nigel stated slowly as if he was speaking to a child. “I’m just pointing out how irritating you are sometimes.” 

“Me? Irritating?” 

“Excuse me,” Chrysalis spoke up with a smile. “As interesting as this is, I do have other things to do.” Dante turned towards the Queen and nodded his head. Nigel huffed and crossed his arms. 

“Apologies, your Highness, it’s been a long night.” Dante brushed some sand off his pants. 

“Oh?” Chrysalis inquired. 

“Yeah,” Dante continued. “We’re a little lost and running out of water. If you could just direct us to the closest settlement then we’ll be on our way and you can continue your plans of revenge in peace.” Dante glanced over at Nigel. “As you have already heard, we’re not on the best terms with the Equestrians so you don’t have to fear us giving away your plans.” 

Chrysalis smirked as an idea popped into her head, a way for both parties to profit from this situation. In addition, she might be able to secure some allies. 

“I see,” Chrysalis responded with a nod. “How about we make a deal?” 

“A deal?” Dante asked hesitantly. He didn’t like the look that the Queen was directing at them. 

“Yes,” Chrysalis answered. “I give you water, lend you one of my finest infiltrators as a guide, and even some food that we keep stored in case of… guests. You get supplies and my subject will take you to the nearest town, a border town in the Griffon Empire.” 

“What do you want in return?” Dante inquired as Nigel listened to the proposal. Dante didn’t know what the queen could possibly want from them, the hungry glint in her eyes not helping. 

“It’s simple,” Chrysalis replied as she idly twirled a hoof in her long hair. “We changelings gain energy from love.” Dante’s face didn’t change, however he was mentally begging that she wasn’t going where he thought she was going. 

“Well,” Nigel jumped in. “Looks like relations warmed up unusually fast.” 

Chrysalis looked at him with her grin widening. The large, rude human was her favorite pick, something about his uncaring manner drew her to him. She looked back at Dante, her eyes scanning over his form. He wasn’t that bad either for an alien, she guessed that it would have to be up to them. 

“They have, and I ask you to hear me out.” Chrysalis looked around at her subjects in the room, the changelings all guessing what she was about to say. “I need more energy if I hope to have a chance against the ponies next time we fight.”

“We’re not exactly love-filled sugarplums,” Nigel pointed out, Chrysalis bursting out into genuine laughter. 

“Oh, I can see that you’re nothing like ponies,” she chuckled. “You’re far too argumentative for that. No, while love is great, lust comes in a close second.”

“So that means…” Dante began, praying to God that she only wanted a hug or a quick kiss. 

“I wish for one of you to bed me,” Chrysalis stated calmly, before her eyelids batted in an attempt at a seductive gaze. “Or both at the same time if you so desire.” 

Dante quickly turned himself around, making the sign of the cross and muttering a Gaelic prayer his grandfather taught him.

“Hell no,” Nigel answered with a firm shake of his head. “I wouldn’t want to share a bus seat with Dante, let alone a changeling queen.” Chrysalis flicked her tongue out playfully, enjoying the humans’ discomfort. 

“So, you want me all for yourself then?” Nigel stopped still, before turning to the still-praying Dante. 

“Dante, you need the water, so you have to pay for it.” The marine whirled around and pointed at Nigel. 

“But you got us lost, and caused the problem in the first place. Besides, you’re probably okay with alien chicks and she seems to like you more anyway."

“That depends,” Chrysalis murmured as she waved a hoof at Nigel. “Take off that helmet you’re wearing so I can see what you look like.” Nigel hesitated, for once in his life cursing the face that science had given him. Dante smirked, from what he had seen of Nigel the agent was doomed. 

Nigel removed his helmet, Chrysalis licking her lips as the cold blue eyes stared back at her. His reluctance only made it that much sweeter. 

“You,” she picked, extending a hoof out towards Chalmers. Nigel muttered a brief curse under his breath before turning towards Dante.

“Nope,” Dante said before Nigel could begin to complain. “She picked you. You’ll just have to deal with it.” 

“I don’t need water or food though,” Nigel pointed out. “You need this more than me.” 

“You got us lost,” Dante reminded. “Look at it this way, okay? You don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be here. The sooner you do this, the sooner we can try and find a way back to our own universes or whatever.” Nigel sighed, wincing and looking back at the awaiting queen. 

“So,” he began hopefully. “All you need is a quicky in a storage closet or something?” Chrysalis shook her head and leaned back, making sure to stretch all of her limbs slowly.

“That will not do,” she answered with a smirk. “I require the full deal, for maximum energy collection of course.” She flicked her mane, Nigel muttering under his breath. 

“Maximum energy collection, sure.” 

Chrysalis left her throne and walked over to Nigel, her hips swaying as her tail swished from side to side. The ISA agent shuddered as she drew a wing under his chin, Chrysalis coming up to his chest. 

“Oh come on, I promise it won’t be that bad,” she cooed. Chrysalis turned to the soldiers and drones watching, the Queen raising her head high. “Subjects, return to your duties.” Chrysalis gestured with her head towards Dante. “Organise a room, some water and pony food for our guest here. Oh, and a guard as well, we cannot be too careful after all.” She said the last part with an apologetic look at Dante, the marine waving away her concern. 

“I understand, alien creature and all that,” he answered happily. He found Nigel’s situation so hilarious that nothing much could phase him right now, all he could think of was that revenge had never been delivered in such an entertaining way. 

His answer seemed to be enough for the impatient queen, Chrysalis grabbing Nigel’s armoured hand in her mouth before pulling him towards a door at the back with a giggle. Dante felt a twinge, a small, tiny twinge, of pity for the other human, Nigel moving as if he was a zombie. The queen and agent left through the door, the black barrier shutting with an ominous thud behind them. Dante turned to the look around at the waiting changelings, all of them either muttering amongst each other or staring at him with curiosity

“So,” Dante began. “About that room and drink…” 




 


Dante took a sip of water from the cup. He held it up to examine it, the cup made out of the same shiny black substance that the entire cave system seemed constructed from. The water didn’t taste any different, despite the container it was in. Dante shrugged, after his walk in the desert any water would be acceptable.

The room he had been put in was okay, a little warm but he could survive. Like every room so far, it’s surfaces were also built from the same black material. He was sitting on a simple stool made from the same substance, the simple room devoid of any other furniture apart from a plain table. A tray with a selection of bread and fruit was placed upon the table, Dante preferring to not dwell on how the changelings kept it fresh.

He may have been okay with the room, but his guard was another matter.

The changeling that had been assigned to him was… weird. The guard was wearing heavy armour that seemed to be made of the same material as the chitin that covered changelings normally. It was female, the soldier introducing herself as number Nine-seven-two-one. Dante had mentally assigned her the name ‘Swiss’ due to the holes in her limbs reminding him of the cheese.

She was standing by the door, unarmed but her horn was as sharp as the other soldiers. Dante noticed that she stole glances at him, but when he faced her she was always was staring straight ahead at the wall. Something about her worried him, it wasn’t her race but rather a primal feeling of fear at the back of his mind.

He drummed his fingers on the table, so far he had been waiting for two and a half hours according to his watch. He wondered just what was taking so long, surely they weren’t going to spend the entire day underground. Granted it was shelter from the harsh sun, but Dante’s uncomfortable feeling was increasing by the minute.

“So, you’re called a human then?” Dante turned around very slowly as the soldier spoke up, this time she didn’t turn away.

“Yes, I am a human,” Dante replied with his unease fading with the soldier’s willingness to converse. The changeling batted her eyes at him and grinned.

“Are all male humans as handsome as you?”

Just like that, Dante’s unease was back with a vengeance. Now he knew for sure that something was wrong.

“Look, uh,” Dante began as the soldier continued to stare at him. “Thanks for the compliment but I’m not too comfortable with where this is going. I’ll sit here and wait, you continue to do your job.” Dante punctuated his statement by continuing to drink his water.

“Oh come on, do you think the Queen is the only one who wants to have a little fun?” Dante spat out his mouthful of water at her words, the implication of her question sending a shiver down his spine.

“What?” Dante spluttered as he wiped water from his chin. The soldier left her post, a predatory grin on her face.

“I’m not asking for much, and it’s boring waiting.”

“No,” Dante answered. “We can’t.”

“Sure we can,” the soldier replied. “A few minutes up against the wall or on the table and that’s all.” She closed in on him, Dante pushing his seat back. “I promise you, I’ll make it worth your time.”

“No, I mean we can’t because we’re different species,” Dante explained. His retreat from the soldier was halted as his seat hit a wall, the changeling continuing to advance on him.

“I don’t mind,” she informed him while licking her fangs with a red tongue. “It’d be a nice change and it’s not like a good source of love just walks in every day.” Dante found his back pressed up against the wall, the changeling now standing right in front of him. She lunged forward, Dante toppling off his seat as he dodged her. As he sat up on the floor the changeling recovered and placed her armoured forelegs on his stomach to pin him.

“I do mind,” Dante replied. “It’s wrong, weird and you’re a fucking bug!” The soldier jerked back like he had hit her, her hooves leaving him as she stumbled back. Dante watched as she plopped down onto her rump and stared at him with sadness.

“Do you… do you really think that?” she choked out with a sob. Dante was incredibly confused, how did she expect him to react?

“Look, it’s not you,” he started as he tried to undo the damage. “You’re a changeling, I’m a human, it’s not meant to work like that.” His explanation didn’t solve anything, the soldier crying into her hooves. Dante sighed, cursing that Chrysalis was taking so long with Nigel. “Come on, I’m sure all the other changelings think you’re great.”

“You’re just saying that,” the soldier didn’t fall for the weak attempt to console her. “Just forget it.” Dante sighed, but at least she was going to leave him alone. He watched as she got up off the floor and returned to her spot at the door. She stood up straight and stopped sobbing, although the occasional sniffle still escaped.

Dante remained on the floor with his back resting up against the wall, the marine deciding to not return to his seat. The past twenty-four hours had worn him out, and the wall was strangely comfortable. His eyes started to droop, Dante leaning his helmeted head back and drifting off into sleep.







Dante jolted awake, finding that he was still in the same room as before. There were a few changes however. His guard was no longer at the door, Dante glancing around to try and spot the changeling. A weight on his legs drew his attention, the marine freezing as he looked down.

Curled up with her body over his legs and her head on his groin was the changeling, the creature breathing heavily as it slept. Dante couldn’t move for a few minutes, the creature’s horn resting on his thigh and he didn’t want to risk waking her. His salvation came in the form of Nigel walking into the room with another changeling at his side.

“Soldier,” the new changeling addressed as she walked over and nudged the sleeping guard. The soldier slowly awoke, groaning as she lifted her head and blinked her eyes. She smiled as she spotted the face of Dante, however another kick from the new changeling brought her attention around.

“Infiltrator!” the soldier scrambled off Dante’s legs and stood to attention, raising a hoof in a salute. The infiltrator gestured down to Dante while she rolled her eyes.

“What are you doing sleeping on top of a guest of the Queen when you’re supposed to be guarding him?”

“I… I was keeping him warm,” the soldier stammered out. The infiltrator leaned forward and peered into the soldier’s eyes, before glancing down at Dante.

“Was she bothering you?” asked the infiltrator. “If so, a punishment is in order.” Dante noticed the soldier shiver in fear, the marine snapping out of his gaze.

“Uh… no she wasn’t,” he answered after a brief pause, the soldier shooting him a thankful look. The infiltrator glanced at the soldier once more before facing Dante again.

“Fine then. I’m Infiltrator Zephyr and I have been assigned as your guide. I’ve already met your companion.”

“Corporal Dante McClure, United States Marines Corps. What’s wrong with Nigel anyway?” Zephyr smirked, Nigel having not moved or spoken since he had left Chrysalis’s chambers.

“He’s still recovering from spending the day with her Majesty, or at least I believe that it’s because of that. He hasn’t said a word since I met him.” This worried Dante, not much seemed to be able to stop the agent from talking. Maybe waking up with a changeling sleeping on him wasn’t so bad after all.

“I see,” Dante responded, before furrowing his brows at Zephyr. “Hang on, why don’t you have a name and not a number like the rest of the changelings we’ve met?” Zephyr flicked her head and raised her head, her chest swelling with pride.

“I’m an infiltrator, the best of the soldiers. I was awarded my name by the Queen herself when I completed my first mission. Names also help us get used to introducing ourselves properly, helpful for when we have to live amongst ponies.” Dante nodded,  finding the reasoning sound. 

“That’s good for us,” he replied while tilting his head at the soldier.  “I was thinking of just calling her ‘Swiss’, all those numbers get confusing.”

“You gave me a name?” Swiss asked with awe, Zephyr turning around to frown at her.

“You weren’t addressed, soldier. Also, remember that the Queen, and only the Queen, can name you. You’re still Nine-seven-two-one until she says so.” Swiss lowered her a head a little at this, Dante using the time to get up off the floor. The two changelings watched as he moved over to Nigel and waved a hand in front of his helmet.  

“Yo, Chalmers?” Dante got no response, not even a bit of movement.  He  turned around and faced Zephyr. “Just what did your Queen do to him? “

“I don’t know exactly,” The infiltrator answered as she headed for the door. “All I know is that it was apparently loud and the Queen was very satisfied with the  ‘payment’.  Hence my service to you and the supplies waiting for us. The moon has just risen so we should get going now while it’s dark and cool. We’ve got a few hours of travel until the border town, let’s go.” 

Dante took a second to stretch his legs before gathering his gear, the infiltrator waiting for him in the door. Securing his backpack, Dante grabbed Nigel’s  arm and pulled, the silent human following behind. None of the three noticed the changeling soldier glance around conspiratorily and mouth the name that Dante had bestowed upon her before stealthily  following the trio into the corridor. 







“Water, check. Food, check. Nigel, check,.” Dante tapped Nigel on the shoulder, an armoured hand smacking the finger away. 

“Bugger off.” Nigel had recovered from his state as soon as the three had left the cave, Dante’s backpack now full of food and water. The marine shrugged and took a swig from his canteen, Zephyr smiling at the pair’s interaction. 

“Calm down you two,” she requested before pointing out to the west. “The border town  is just out that way. I take you there, I leave and you can continue to do whatever it is that you do.” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Nigel muttered as he started to trudge forward. “The sooner we leave here the better.” Dante gave Zephyr a shrug before following Nigel, the infiltrator  increasing her pace to lead the two humans. 

“Wait!” 

All three stopped and looked back towards the cave, a lone drone running out with a large envelope grasped in his magic. The drone headed to Nigel, stopping in front of him and bowing. 

“The Queen sends her regards and wishes you luck on your trip. She wished for me to convey that you, Nigel Chalmers, are welcome back anytime.”  Nigel grumbled in reply , the drone levitating the brown envelope to towards him. The ISA agent took it from the air, the drone bowing and leaving as soon as Nigel had it. 

“I wonder what’s in it,” Dante remarked as he and Zephyr watched Nigel open the envelope hesitantly. The agent reached in and withdrew a set of twenty photographs, the marine and changeling unable to see what they showed. Dante waited for Nigel to speak, the photos fanned out in his hand. Chalmers was frozen however, Dante moving around to the side to get a look at the photographs.

He stopped in surprise at the sight, Zephyr buzzing into the air to also get a look at what Nigel held.

Twenty photographs, all showing Queen Chrysalis in various lewd poses, greeted them. Dante averted his eyes quickly, uttering a quick prayer in an attempt to ward off the unwanted images ramming themselves into his mind. Zephyr hovered in place with her wings buzzing, the changeling letting out a low whistle at Chrysalis’s ‘gift’ to Nigel.

“Wow, you must have done a really good job,” the changeling informed as she nodded approvingly.

“How did she get these made so quickly?” Nigel muttered like a shellshock victim.

“I don’t have a single clue,” Zephyr unhelpfully replied. “Come on, we should get going.” Dante stopped Zephyr with a hand, the marine standing in front of Nigel while taking care to not glance at the photos again.

“Okay Nigel, what’s going on?” Dante interrogated. “Just what happened that was so bad that you no longer constantly complain, whine and showboat? Surely it wasn’t the end of the world so what the Hell has gotten into you?”

“Was it really that bad?” Zephyr asked as she tried to help, flying up to place a hoof on Nigel’s armoured shoulder. “From what I’ve been taught and know, changelings aren’t different from mammals in that regard-“

“It’s not that,” Nigel stressed out, Dante’s eyes widening as he figured it out.

“My God, you actually… you actually enjoyed it didn’t you?”

“No!” Nigel defended, Zephyr and Dante staring at him. Nigel’s shoulders and head slumped, the agent breathing out heavily. “Fine. Yes, yes I did.”

“That’s it?” Dante questioned with a sweep of an arm. “You’ve been acting like a trauma victim purely because you screwed a changeling queen and didn’t hate it?”

“Look,” Nigel shot back as he pointed his finger at the marine. “I did what I had to do to keep your annoying arse alive! Don’t you judge me!” Dante held up his hands in a pacifying gesture as he stepped back.

“Calm down, let’s just drop it.” Zephyr landed next to Dante as Nigel continued to glare at him.

“Let’s go,” Zephyr suggested, hoping that the issue wouldn’t flare up again.

“You go on ahead,” Nigel replied sullenly. “I have to burn these photos.”

Zephyr furrowed her brows and her wings gave a small flitter. “You can’t just burn them. They’re a gift from the Queen!”

“Zephyr, let him do it,” Dante ordered as he started to walk off to the west, Zephyr giving Nigel a final glance before following the marine and muttering to herself. Nigel watched them walk on without him before he looked back down at the photographs. He considered Zephyr’s words and thought about just why he was gifted them.

Chalmers glanced up at the backs of Dante and Zephyr, the pair talking to each other roughly one-hundred metres ahead. Quickly he stuffed the photos back into the enveloped and opened a storage compartment in the armour on his side. Slipping the envelope into his armour he closed the compartment and started to briskly walk towards the Changeling and marine.

“You burnt them all?” Dante asked as Nigel caught up to them, Zephyr too busy looking out for landmarks to contribute to the conversation.

“Yep,” Nigel replied as he resumed normal walking pace. Dante let it go and took a swig from his canteen, the three continuing to move west with the border town their destination.









“So what’s this place called again?” Nigel inquired as the three peered over a sand dune at the quiet town, no activity due to the early time of morning.

“Sweswing,” Zephyr informed before turning away from the town. The two humans stared as a green fire covered her body, the black chitin giving way to a cream-white coat and wings with a coal-black mane and tail. The changeling-turned-pony stretched her new limbs and took the time to neaten her mane.

“I suppose that’s why you’re called a changeling,” Dante observed. Zephyr nodded and checked over her body, making sure none of her original form remained.

“That’s right, as an infiltrator I do this stuff all of the time.”

“is it genetic?” Nigel asked, Dante noticing that his voice carried more than just idle curiosity. Zephyr smiled at him, no fangs present in her mouth.

“Not that I know of, all I know is that it takes some magic to do and I can’t hold the form forever without a steady supply of love.” Zephyr tested her wings, spreading the feathered appendages out to the sides. “Why are you interested?”

“Just curious,” Nigel answered. “Can you only change into equines or can you mimic other lifeforms with the same amount of accuracy?” Dante’s brow furrowed. Something about the way Chalmers was asking precise, methodical questions regarding the changeling’s abilities seemed off.  

“Only similar sized creatures,” Zephyr responded with her smile still on her face, enjoying the normally sour human’s questions. “For example, I can turn into a zebra or normal pony, but only the Queen can take the form of an alicorn. I can’t even use the most basic magic in this form,” Zephyr explained as she turned sideways to give Nigel and Dante a better look at her new body and wings. “If I mimic a unicorn I can do magic but can’t fly, not that I can really do much apart from a few battle spells and levitation.”

“It’s very interesting,” Nigel continued, Dante deciding to try and offset Chalmers to hopefully shed some light on his motives.

“What, are you going to bang her as well?” Zephyr blushed a heavy green at his words, Dante assuming that the changes didn’t include the colour of the blood. Nigel didn’t react as expected however, something that confused Dante even more.

“I assure you that my intentions have nothing to do with that Dante,” Chalmers replied calmly. “I am merely keen to learn about other lifeforms, for completely innocent reasons.” As Dante was left completely gobsmacked that Nigel actually sounded like a competent soldier for once, the agent looked down at the equally surprised Zephyr. “Why are you coming into the town with us anyway? Your assignment was only to guide us here.”

Zephyr shuffled on her new hooves uncomfortably, a faint blush still on her cheeks.

“I, uh,” she started while the two humans gazed at her. “I like alcohol, the Queen doesn’t allow it back home so I tend to use any opportunity I can get.” Zephyr glanced up, ashamed of her favoured vice which she had confessed to the two humans. She was surprised to not find the disappointed glares she had come to expect, granted Nigel’s face was unreadable due to his helmet but Dante didn’t seem that disgusted.

“That’s it?” Nigel asked. “Liking the occasional drink is not a crime, Hell I get up to far worse things than that on a daily basis.”

“Same here,” Dante added with a nod. “Just not as much as Nigel. I don’t see wanting a drink to be that big a deal.”

“Thanks,” Zephyr replied as she rubbed one foreleg against the other. “It’s looked down upon as a pointless and reckless pastime by my people. I only started to blend in with ponies but I guess it grew on me.”

“We all have our quirks,” Nigel finished, gesturing to the town in the distance with a hand. “How about we try and find a tavern and see whether they’ll serve us, I’ll shout you a drink.” Dante smirked, seeing another chance to sneak in a cheap shot at the suddenly composed agent.

“First a drink, what next? A dinner date followed by a hotel room?”

“No,” Nigel responded as he walked past the stunned Zephyr, heading towards the town. “I just happen to be the only one carrying money, so I don’t think anyone else is going to buy one.” Dante didn’t bother arguing, he liked Nigel’s current attitude a lot better than the previous ones and didn’t want to ruin it. He followed Nigel and as he passed the still frozen Zephyr he gave her a brief pat on the head, the changeling focusing back on the current circumstances.

All three walked across the sand, the desert receding while rocky ground became more common. The town remained mostly quiet when they entered, the only activity coming from a large wooden building at the far end of the only main road. Hooves and boots travelled along the cobbled road as the trio approached the tavern. Oil lamps hanging from the roof illuminated the large, three story building and a few drunken figures exited out of the saloon doors. The four griffons glanced briefly at the humans and pegasus before continuing on their way, the hybrids not looking for a fight.

Zephyr took the lead, moving ahead of the two humans before walking through the doors. She was greeted by a large rectangular room filled to the brim with griffons and ponies in various states of inebriation, the two races often mixing in griffon towns bordering Equestria. Even though it was early in the morning the bar was showing no signs of quieting down.

Zephyr cringed, every being facing them as a loud smack rang out. The changeling remembered that Griffons were rumoured to exterminate changelings on sight.

She really needed to break her love of alcohol.

She turned around slowly, Dante standing behind her with his hands twitching. Nigel was standing in the doorway, a large chunk taken out from the wooden doorframe. Chalmers ignored the stares and calmly brushed wood chips and splinters off of his helmet, the entire tavern having gone quite.

“I hate these low doors,” Nigel mumbled as he ducked and entered, this time without damaging the building. Zephyr had time to observe that the armoured human was almost as tall as a minotaur bull, his bulk probably the reason for the lack of action taken by the bar patrons.

“How’s it going?” Dante inquired, the bar patrons focusing on him. He got no reply, leaving the three faced with an awkward silence.

“Hey, you three!” The trio looked towards the bar, a burly, ash-grey feathered griffon glaring at them. “Either buys something or get out, I have enough vagrants as it is.” Dante expected Nigel to explode into a rage-fuelled frenzy at the bartender’s words. The agent however showed no signs of anger, Chalmers swaggering up to the counter to place his looted gold down on the bar in front of the griffon.

“I assume you accept shiny gold coins?” The griffon glanced down, quickly counting the amount of money on the wooden counter.

“This pays for the door,” the bartender informed with a glare at Nigel. “You’ll still need more to buy anything.” Under his helmet Nigel smirked, so the griffon wanted to play this game.

“You have a point,” Chalmers answered while placing a hand on the bar. “However you should consider the amount of money you’d save in medical bills and further repair costs.” The bartender’s scowl deepened, everyone watching as a pair of talons carved furrows in the wooden counter.

“You’re either mighty brave or mighty stupid,” the bartender growled.

“Maybe I’m both,” Nigel retorted lightly as he leaned down so that his eyes were level with the griffon’s. “The question is just how stupid you think I can get.” The epic staring contest continued, both participants not budging in their battle of wills. Dante and Zephyr shared a look, both wondering what Nigel was working towards and whether they’d have to fight their way out of the town.

The tension dropped as the bartender’s scowl was replaced as a smirk, the griffon reaching under the bar and withdrawing three glasses.

“It’ s been a long time since someone questioned me,” he informed as he poured strong whisky into the glasses. He slid them across to Nigel, his smile fading. “You only get these though, after you finish I never want to see you or your two friends again.”

“Suits me fine,” Nigel replied as he grabbed the three glasses. Turning smartly, he marched to a free table near the door and sat down, the chair creaking under his weight.

“You better not break that too!” the bartender yelled, Nigel dismissing his concerns with a wave of his hand. Dante and Zephyr approached the table, the disguised changeling with much more enthusiasm. While they were sitting down, none noticed the lone earth pony mare slip in the door to lurk around the bar.

The attention of the bar patrons waned, the griffons and ponies returning to their own drinks. Zephyr adjusted her behind on the wooden stool before grasping her glass with her forelegs, the changeling taking a large gulp of the whisky. Dante and Nigel watched as she coughed and breathed in, the changeling greedily continuing to drink.

“Wow,” Dante murmured. “Look at her go.” Nigel nodded as Zephyr finished her glass, the changeling draining every last drop. Sighing, she placed her empty glass down on the table, Zephyr looking at it mournfully.

“Here,” Nigel said as he pushed his untouched drink over to her. “I don’t want it anyway.” Zephyr didn’t even thank him, the changeling immediately starting on the new beverage. Dante looked away from her and faced Nigel, the ISA agent keeping an eye on the rest of the patrons.

“Why’d you give up your drink?” Dante inquired before glancing at Zephyr, the changeling finishing her second drink with a burp. “I’d had you pegged as the drinking sort.”

“Oh, I’m a slave to the drop all right,” Nigel replied while continuing to scan for threats. “I just think taking my helmet off in this place is a bad idea.” Dante looked around, the other patrons on closer inspection looking like a rough and tumble crowd. His fingers nervously drummed on the table while he reminded himself that he still had the AK and his pistol on him if trouble did start.

A whine drew his attention back to Zephyr, Dante and Nigel staring at the changeling as she eyed Dante’s drink.

“Did you just…” Dante began, Zephyr’s body twitching as she gazed at the desired glass.

“And I thought I had problems,” Nigel mentioned, earning a flat look from Dante which he didn’t notice. “I think you should cut back there Zephs, don’t go and steal Dante’s.”

The changeling-pegasus pulled a dirty trick, fixing Nigel with a wide-eyed, pleading look. The human’s red helmet optics stared back unmoved.

“That won’t work on me, and besides, the glass is Dante’s.” The Marine silently cursed as the eyes were turned onto him, Dante unable to resist.

“Okay,” he huffed out as he passed his whisky to Zephyr. “I wasn’t planning on drinking it anyway.”

Once again the changeling dove into the drink, both humans shaking their heads at her behaviour. Any threats were forgotten as Zephyr chugged down the alcohol, Nigel and Dante more interested to find out if changelings could get drunk or not.

It was confirmed, Zephyr shakily slamming her glass back down and letting out a belch. It drew a few glances, a few of the pony stallions eying the attractive and now drunk mare with interested expressions. Dante noticed the gazes and the warning look from the griffon bartender, the marine getting the hint that they were outstaying their welcome.

“Come on Zephyr,” he addressed while he got up to help her down off her seat. “Do you have somewhere to go?” The changeling brushed off his concerns and headed to the door, Nigel also getting off his seat. Dante looked back at the bartender before the three left the tavern, the cool night air blowing in a light breeze.

“I’ll be fine,” the changeling slurred as she stumbled onto the main road. “Goodbye you two, I hope you don’t get killed or arrested or anything for doing something stupid.”

“Thanks,” Nigel replied with a chuckle before Zephyr disappeared around a corner.

“Should we really leave her like that?” Dante asked as the pair stood on the road. Nigel nodded his head.

“It’ll be okay, she seems like she’ll be able to handle herself fine. Zephs is a big girl after all, she doesn’t need her mummy Dante anymore.” Dante was about to remind Nigel about just who seemed to friendliest to the changeling before a loud squawk of surprise interrupted him. Both humans looked towards the direction of the sound, having come from the corner that Zephyr had gone.

“Let’s go help,” Nigel sighed, moving towards the noise as yelling filled the street.

“I thought you said she could handle herself,” Dante reminded as he followed Chalmers.

“Not the time, smartarse.”

Dante rolled his eyes, wondering if the ISA agent had been trained in hypocrisy. The two rounded the bend and paused, attempting to process the situation.

Zephyr was picking herself off the ground, the pegasus apologising profusely to a group of eleven griffons clad in dark cloaks.

“I’m sorry,” Zephyr blurted out as one griffon rubbed the side of his face while glaring at her.

“Look where you are going next time pony,” the injured griffon lectured, Zephyr also rubbing her left cheek.   

“I will,” she answered, Nigel and Dante picking up a trace of fear in her voice. The two humans had ducked behind the corner of a wooden cart store and were peering out at the confrontation. It seemed like they wouldn’t be needed, the griffons seemed to be letting the mistake go unpunished.

“Hang on,” one of the griffons spoke up with a gruff voice. “Her bruise is green.” Zephyr tried to back away but one of the griffons grabbed her foreleg with a talon, pulling the hoof away to reveal the green bruise covering Zephyr’s face.

“Changeling spy,” another muttered, the injured griffon backing away from her with widened golden eyes.

“Or an assassin!” he accused with a pointed talon, the other griffons leaping into action. Ten of them, likely guards, drew an assortment of daggers and swords and the griffon who had made the accusation glanced around fearfully. “There might be more out there, protect your prince!”

Griffons scanned alleyways and rooftops, Nigel and Dante catching the glint of metal breastplates before they ducked back around the wall to avoid detection.

“Hold her!” a voice commanded, Dante glancing to Nigel.

“We need a plan-“ before he could finish, Chalmers darted out from the corner. Dante stared as the armoured human’s boots cracked the road while he ran, Nigel heading straight towards the armed griffons holding Zephyr. The marine drew his pistol and ran after him, leaving his complaints about the rashness of the charge for later.

The griffons noticed Nigel as soon as he moved from the hiding place, however the agent moved with a shocking speed for someone in full armour. Dante almost stopped in his tracks as the agent reached the griffon grasping Zephyr’s foreleg.

"Taste my justice!" Chalmers unleashed a vicious kick and nailed the guard in the chest. The griffon flew back, his talon letting go of Zephyr as a sickening crack rang out. He crumpled to the ground, holding onto his battered chest plate and taking rasping breaths.

Dante went for a griffon raising a sword to strike Nigel in the side, the hybrid turning around just as Dante got in close. Not wanting to use his precious ammo or kill the guard, Dante used the butt of his pistol as a club. The griffon squawked and dropped his weapon to clutch his head, the guard dropping to his knees. Dante ignored him, the other griffons reeling at the sudden attack while Nigel pulled Zephyr up to her hooves.

The changeling quickly took flight, still maintaining her disguise as her feathered wings propelled her upwards. She headed away from the fight, aiming for the desert and freedom. Zephyr stopped as the sound of metal on metal clashed down below, the griffons having forgotten her to focus on the humans she had guided to the town. Chalmers was currently using his armoured forearms to deflect the blows of two griffons, three more circling Dante who had no such protection.

Zephyr gulped as she noticed a trio of griffons flank the two, the hybrids cutting off the way the bipeds had entered from. She looked around, the changeling spotting a griffon airship with no decoration sitting out away from the town. Her inebriation had been dulled by the sudden flight for he life, but she still didn’t question what a griffon prince was doing in a border town with ununiformed guards and an unmarked airship.

What she did question was what she should do.

On one hoof she was home free, the humans would buy her enough time to escape back into the desert. On the other, she felt a guilty that she was considering leaving them after they had saved her. Even with her mind still a little muddled, Zephyr made her decision.

Nigel was parrying the blows of his attackers, their short swords unable to pierce the armour of his suit. It wouldn’t last forever though, Dante didn’t have the same privilege and the griffons could probably overwhelm them with sheer numbers. Lights had started to turn on in the surrounding houses, Nigel having overheard that the leader of the group they were fighting was a prince.

He had no doubts about who would suffer if griffon reinforcements arrived.

One of his opponents was jerked back mid-thrust, Nigel and the second griffon looking up.

Zephyr was beating the un-helmeted soldier in the head with her hooves as she hovered, the griffon visibly rattled. Nigel took the opportunity to punch his other enemy square in the chops, his armoured fist breaking the guard’s jaw with a crack and taking him out of the fight.

With a final hoof stamp, Zephyr knocked her griffon out, his sword clattering to the cobbled ground. A sudden bang and a scream rang out, Zephyr wincing and covering her ears like the surrounding griffons. Nigel looked over, Dante holding his smoking M9 out in front of him. A griffon guard was rolling around on the ground clutching his bleeding talon, having been shot in the fight.

“Let’s go!” Dante yelled out, not keen for his life to be ended by a group of sword wielding mythological creatures. While the griffons were still reorganising after the gunshot, the marine dashed past them, heading towards the desert. Nigel followed after grabbing Zephyr’s foreleg, pulling the still-flying pegasus with him as they made a run for it.

Zephyr recovered and pointed towards the direction Dante was heading.

“There’s an airship just out that way! If we take it then we can try and out run them!” She was still slurring her words, however Nigel trusted her judgement.

“Dante, you hear that!?” Nigel shouted as the marine speeded up ahead.

“I did!” he called back as they neared the edge of the town. “Do you know how to fly an airship!?”

“Not a clue!” Nigel answered as Zephyr started to fly ahead of him, the changeling a little wobbly. “We’ll just have to wing it!”

“So like the entire time we’ve been here!?” Dante panted, with the combination of running in full gear and shouting not doing him much good.

“Wouldn’t change it for the world!” Nigel yelled.

“Keep going!” Zephyr called out as Dante almost tripped over a rock. “It’s just up ahead!” The two humans looked up as they continued to run, spotting the airship with the plain grey airbag already half inflated. The main was about the size of the tavern, constructed from what looked like a light metal with glass portholes dotted along the side.

Nigel stumbled when two objects smacked into his back, the force causing him to almost lose his footing. Only his rigorous ISA training spent in full armour saved him, Chalmers avoiding falling to the ground. A female scream alerted him that not everyone was so lucky, Nigel noticing Zephyr fall out of the sky with two sticks embedded in her rump and one through her left wing.

Nigel glanced back as he dashed for her, Zephyr hitting the desert ground with a thump and further cries of pain. A mass of griffons, these ones wearing light armour and helmets, were flying after the group and closing fast. Chalmers guessed that these were guards from the town itself. They were wielding crossbows, a few more bolts flying past him as Dante turned to head towards the fallen Zephyr.

“I’ve got her, you get the blimp!” Nigel called to Dante as another bolt hammered into his back armour. He knew that the other human would not be as well protected from the projectiles, the marine wisely following the order and rushing up to the blimp’s side.

Nigel skidded to a halt before Zephyr, the still-disguised changeling curled up in a ball on the ground. He quickly picked her up and held her in a hug, risking hurting her further to shield her from any more bolts. Nigel whipped his head behind him again as he stood up, receiving a bolt straight to his armoured forehead. His head was jolted, but the bolt failed to penetrate the armour made to deflect bullets and energy shots.

It did piss him off though.

Nigel glared at the griffon that had shot him in the face, the guard having flown out in front of his fellows. His empty crossbow was dropped, the guard drawing his sword and hoping that it would be more effective. The griffon closed, Nigel thinking quickly to avoid Zephyr getting stabbed.

The guard opened his beak in a warcry, aiming his sword towards the changeling assassin that the undercover royal guards had warned them about.

His cry and vision was interrupted by a payload of desert sand, Nigel having grabbed a handful and thrown it at him as he approached. Blinded, the guard careened to the ground, Nigel bringing up a knee to intercept him.

The armoured limb clipped the griffon on the side, the leather armour he wore doing nothing to stop the force of the blow from the power armour. The guard smashed down into the sand, much like Zephyr had, with a groan. The groan turned into a gurgled scream, Nigel stamping a boot down on the guard’s right wing.

Bones snapped, taking the limb out of action and ensuring that the guard would be unable to continue the pursuit.

“Wanker,” Nigel insulted as green blood ran down his armour.

“Nigel!” Chalmers turned to the blimp, the rest of the guards closing in and reloading their crossbows. Dante was standing on a gangway, a door on the side opened to reveal the interior. The marine had his rifle on his shoulder, the weapon aimed towards the griffons. Nigel didn’t need to be told what to do, the agent sprinting towards the grounded airship, the now fully-inflated balloon raising into the air.

While Nigel and Zephyr were still two hundred metres away the airship began to lift off the ground, Chalmers putting on an extra burst of speed to reach it as yet more bolts thudded off his armour. The griffons kept their distance, wary of suffering the same fate as their fallen comrade.

Just as the airship was almost fully off the ground, Nigel made it and climbed aboard, Dante ushering him through the door leading to a wooden hallway before shutting it behind them and locking it with the heavy bolt. No one, human or griffon, noticed the shadowy figure that flew up to the back of the airship to hide atop of the metal structure.

“They’re still coming,” Dante huffed out as he looked out a porthole, Nigel flinging open cabinets and searching through them. He ignored Dante as he grabbed a handful of grey cloth, placing the bleeding Zephyr on top of it as he laid her down on the wooden floor. Dante winced at the changeling’s injuries, the infiltrator shivering as she lay on the makeshift bed.

“Who the hell's flying the ship?” Nigel asked as he focused on entering mental commands to his helmet, a compartment opening on his right arm. Dante rushed to the front of the ship with his rifle raised, passing through two doors while Nigel knelt down over Zephyr. Guards banged on the metal door, Nigel paying them no mind as an assorted mass of needles and medical devices emerged from his arm compartment.

The griffons continued to break down the door, however their efforts were hampered as the ship had taken off and they had to fly at the same time. Zephyr gasped before going still as Nigel injected a mix of anesthetics, immune boosters and blood-production stimulants into her neck, Chalmers hoping that the chemicals would work and not kill the guide. She was in a rough shape and a lot of pain already though, so he thought that the risk was worth it.

He was lucky, the armour around his right hand receding back into the main arm armour and enabling him to check Zephyr’s pulse. He placed his fingers on her neck, finding a vain that pulsed with a steady rhythm. He was lucky that she had retained her pony form, he doubted he would have been able to locate her pulse while she was a changeling. The drugs had gone to work, Zephyr fast asleep.

Nigel quickly pulled the crossbow bolt through her wing by the head, the back end sliding out with no resistance. He threw it to the ground and went for the ones in her rump, one in the middle of the left buttock while the other was located in the right. He quickly pulled the left one out, a stream of green blood flowing out as he did so. The same happened to the right, Nigel having to pull Zephyr’s tail to the side to clear it away from the last bolt. He didn’t look away as he pulled the last one out, preserving Zephyr’s modesty in a situation like this was not his priority.

Besides, it wasn’t like this was her normal body anyway.

He pressed wads of the cloth up against the wounds while the medical suture laser in his arm armour warned up. The ships swayed from side to side, interrupting him. Dante emerged from the door, dragging a kicking griffon with a large bump on its head that Nigel recognised as the supposed prince 

“This guy was trying to fly the ship away, but he couldn’t even work out the wheel,” Dante scoffed before wincing at the state of Zephyr. “I don’t even know how he managed to get it in the air. Sorry about the rocking, he was… resistant.” 

“Hold these on,” Nigel directed to Dante, the marine letting the griffon go to hold the cloth to Zephyr’s wounds. The Prince tried to crawl away but Nigel caught him, his armour allowing him to slam the hybrid against the wall. “Great job arsehole!” Nigel raged. “Thanks to you we had to steal this ship. Are you even a real bloody Prince?” Nigel’s mind was currently seeing the griffon as the sole-source of his current problems, the cloaked hybrid’s eyes bugged out in fear.

“I am!” he pleaded. “Let me go, or my father will make you pay if you hurt me!” Nigel sneered under his helmet, some green blood from his hands getting on the griffon’s sun-yellow neck feathers.

“You think I care about your father? I should kill you right now!” The Prince whimpered, another bang on the outside door reminding Nigel that they had other problems. He grinned, moving towards the door and turning the Prince around so that the griffon’s back was placed up against his armoured chest. “I’ve got another use for you though.”

With that Nigel unlocked the bolt holding the door, the metal barrier banging open in the wind. Griffon guards flew back, five of the soldiers having continued the pursuit. Each one hovered in the air and eyed the human and Prince warily, their swords staying by their sides at the risk to the high-born griffon.

“Let him go,” one of the guards yelled over the wind, Nigel looking down to see that they were very high off the ground. Instead of the desert, the blimp was drifting over a set of green fields far down below. Chalmers looked at the guards and chuckled a humourless laugh.

“Let him go? Sure, I can do that.”

With those words Nigel held out and dropped the Prince, his right leg swinging up at the same time.

It was a perfect dropkick, the Prince squawking as armoured boot collided with his unprotected posterior. The royal griffon wailed as he toppled down the side of the airship, the guards giving Nigel a final, hateful look before descending in an attempt to catch the Prince whose wings were caught in his cloak. Nigel smiled and pulled the door shut, bolting it again before looking down at Dante and the unconscious Zephyr. 

“You look after her,” Dante passed off as he stood up. “I’ve got to try and not crash.” He left through the door, leaving Nigel to tend to their companion’s wounds. Chalmers knelt down and removed the cloth coverings, the thin beam from the laser searing flesh as he squeezed the wounds together. 

Soon all of the major ones were done, the wing however had to be wrapped in bandages.  Zephyr would not be flying for a while. Nigel wiped his hands on the cloth before picking the bloody changeling up off the ground, the cream fur stained green in a variety of places. He grabbed another few sheets of fresh cloth from the cabinets and walked into the forward cabin, Dante using the ship’s wheel to steer the airship.  

“Are you able to fly it?” Nigel asked as he spread the cloth on the floor and set Zephyr down. 

“I think so,” Dante replied as he stared out the large glass windshield. “I still have no clue where we’re going.” Nigel walked over and looked out, finding that instead of the desert they were passing over the top of a small coastal town. “I still have no idea where we are.” 

“We can work with that,” Nigel replied as he scanned to plain wooden room. “How is this thing even flying forwards?” 

“Asking the wrong person,” Dante pointed out. Both dropped the issue, focusing on more important things. “Do you think they’ll follow us?” 

“Probably,” Nigel commented as he walked back over to Zephyr. “Although we are over the ocean so they may just let us go.” 

“We did steal their ship,” Dante reminded as he looked back at the two. “Is she okay?” 

“Most likely, she’s lost some blood but I stopped the bleeding. I have no idea if the immunity boosters I gave her will work though, being a changeling and all that.” Chalmers crouched down and moved Zephyr to a more comfortable position on her side. Dante turned back to the front of the ship, focusing on the ocean.

“We are so screwed.”

“Oh, undoubtedly,” Nigel answered as he sat down next to Zephyr. “Those griffons were decent fighters, who knows who else we’ll piss off?”

“With you, everyone we meet.”

“Shut up.”

“Fine,” Dante said as he focused back on flying the airship. “The truth hurts I know.”

“What hurts,” Nigel replied coldly while rubbing Zephyr’s head. “Is what I do to whiny, useless marines who are so full of themselves that they don’t even realise it.” Dante turned around, letting go of the wheel as he stared at Nigel in shock.

“I’ve done it,” Dante muttered. “I’ve managed to find the most insufferable person in existence.”








“Is that all young colt?”

“I’m not a colt, you imbecile!”

Fresh Produce rolled her eyes as she started to bag up the strange unicorn’s food. The earth pony mare didn’t bother lecturing the pony on respect for elders, the sooner the rude teenager was gone from her vegetable stall the better.

The purple colt stamped his hooves impatiently, Produce rolling her eyes at his behaviour. He didn’t help himself with his childish attitude or his tacky cloak, Nightmare Night wasn’t for another three months. Her three colts weren’t nearly as strange as this one was.

“You’re buying some food for a party?” Produce asked politely, earning a snort in reply from the colt.

“No, you vile plebeian,” the unicorn shot back. “I am preparing for the end of the world. Your rudeness shall not be forgotten, and you can be sure that I will be laughing when you and all you love is burning in fire!” Produce’s only response was to raise an eyebrow, the early mornings in Manehattan always brought out the weird ones.

“Prophet!”

Produce looked up at the voice, two more cloaked ponies approaching the weird colt. The one who had spoken, a very pretty young mare who shouldn’t be hiding her face under a hood, approached the colt and gestured towards the last cloaked pony.

“What is it, Cultmember Fable?” The colt asked as he glared at Produce.

“Nut Case here has managed to track the two humans down!” Produce glanced at the last pony, a unicorn stallion who looked to be far too old to be playing with teenagers.  

“Yes my Prophet!” the stallion cackled as he bowed before the colt. “Using the spell that my great grandfather taught me all those years ago, I have located our quarry!”

“Excellent!” The colt praised. “Where are the humans? We must catch them at once!” Nut Case’s horn glowed a sickly orange, the stallion muttering to himself as he stared at his hooves. With a maniacal grin he looked back up at the colt, his lips pulled back in a disturbing smile.

“Just outside the Griffon lands, heading out across the sea!”

“We can’t go that far out!” the mare complained. “It’s too far away! You’ll just have to find some other humans to use in the ritual.” Produce almost dropped the squash she was placing into a bag.

‘Ritual?’ she thought with alarm.

“You’re right,” the colt muttered as he snatched his bag from Produce, giving the surprised mare a glare as he threw his payment down onto the wooden stall-top. “I’ll head to the temple to prepare it, you take Nut Case and track them down.”

“But-“

“No buts Fable!” the colt growled back. “Your eternal salvation is riding on your obedience, remember?” The mare nodded, the adult stallion continuing to cackle to himself quietly. The colt started to trot away, his paper bag balanced on his back. “I’ll send you the directions once I find the mystical temple, now go!” With that the colt disappeared into the crowd, leaving the mare and the unhinged stallion left.

“Honey,” Produce called out as the mare sighed and started to leave. The young unicorn turned around, her glimmering emerald eyes gazing questionably up at the middle-aged earth pony farmer. “You need some new friends, a pretty young unicorn mare like you could do so much better.”

“Thanks,” the unicorn acknowledged in a soft voice. “But the Prophet needs my help, I’m sorry about your eternal damnation.”

Produce shook her head while the mare and her stallion companion wandered off, the farmer muttering to herself.

“Young ponies these days, what do they teach them in the schools?”