//------------------------------// // Cloudkicker // Story: A Roll in the Hay // by Shahrazad //------------------------------// “Please be gentle,” she whispered. “I just want something nice for once. Not some jerk who leaves after he finds out you’ve slept with his best friend years ago. O-or some flankhole who leaves the n-next morning without even saying g-good-bye. O-or a s-stallion th-that leaves th-that ni-hi-ght the s-second after he f-finishes with you!” she suddenly sobbed. Big Mac couldn’t do anything but stare at her. “Y-you won’t leave m-me w-will you?” she stammered out between sobs, with big, sloppy tears running down her face. She hugged him tight and buried her face in his chest. “Nnnope.” “I-I’m pretty aren’t I? I’ve got nice legs, and soft wings?” She quivered in his hooves. “Eeeyup,” Big Mac said, loud and clear. Honesty ran in his family. “My eyes aren’t too red and scary?” She had regained some small measure of composure. Big Mac looked into her eyes— beautiful red irises, and they weren’t bloodshot. He shook his head and drawled, “Nnnope.” “My mane and tail— you like them, right?” She sniffed as the tears kept running down her face, but she looked at him and spoke without further hiccups. “Eyup!” Big Mac responded with a nod and a smile. Right now, she looked like a hot mess, but Big Mac thought she was really pretty, even while crying. “I’m nice, aren’t I? I can cook really well, and I always put fresh clouds on the bed. I’ll do it for you, too. You’d like that, right? I’ll bet you’ve never slept in a cloud bed— it’s so soft. I don’t expect a reward; that’s kindness, isn’t it?” “Eeeyup.” Big Mac didn’t consider himself an expert on kindness, but he could imagine Fluttershy doing just that without any trouble. “So, you’ll be my special somepony?” Big Mac felt as if ice water had been dumped into his stomach. “Uhhh...” Her face scrunched up and the waterworks started up again, even faster this time. She hugged him tighter and nuzzled into his chest. “B-but, don’t stallions like it when you lift your tail for them? I’d do that for you all the time. You’d like that wouldn’t you? Nice girls do that, don’t they?” “Eeeyu— hmmm… nnnope.” Big Mac shook his head. Stallions did like it when mares lifted their tails without fuss, but he wouldn’t call such mares “nice girls.” He tried to imagine his sister lifting her tail for some random stallion she had just met. It made his blood boil. Cloudkicker nuzzled into him and whispered, “Oh, you’re so strong, and warm.” She sniffed and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. My special somepony broke up with me three days ago. I didn’t cry at the time; I just decided I’d find another one. Plenty of fish in the sea, right?” “Eyup.” “So I found a nice stallion yesterday, tall and tan, just the way I like ‘em. I could tell he was the type to commit, not some one-night stand. I put on my moves and what happens?” She started to sob, but caught herself. It took a moment before she could breathe evenly and continue. “He shot me down. ME! Told me he already had a special somepony and didn’t want to sleep with a mare like me.” She latched onto Big Mac like she was drowning and he was a life preserver. “Why…? C-can stallions tell when you’re… not innocent?” “Nnnope.” She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and gulped. “Am I a bad pony?” Big Mac paused before he replied, “Nnnope.” She smiled and said, “When my friends found out I was single we went out dancing and drinking that night. There’s nothing wrong with that, right?” “Nnnope,” Big Mac said as he shook his head. “I woke up the next morning in this stallion’s bed. I didn’t even know his name! I… I don’t think anything happened; he smelled like he had way too much hard apple cider. So, no harm, no foul. You agree, don’t you?” Big Mac put a hoof to his chin before he replied, “Uh… nnnope.” He shook his head. Cloudkicker swallowed and her eyes squinted a bit. Tears welled up in them and her voice started to crack. She almost shouted her defense. “I’m not hurting anypony, so how can it be wrong?! I’m not hurting him, am I?” Big Mac’s eyes went wide at the verbal assault. “Nope!” he said, his voice clipped. “You’re getting fifty bits! You’re not getting hurt, are you?!” “Nope!” “So what’s the problem?” Hot tears streamed down her face as she shouted at him. “Who am I hurting? Nopony is crying or shouting or—” Big Mac said nothing— he only held her and looked at her with both brows raised. “...Oh.” With that tiny sound, Cloudkicker deflated in his chest. Her entire body shook with her sobbing. Big Mac held onto her; he simply didn’t know what else to do. She became dead weight in his forelegs, but compared to the farm labor he had spent his life doing, she wasn’t terribly heavy. Time ticked by in silence, her sobs fading into him with each passing minute. The sun had tracked several degrees across the sky before she spoke again. “Um… will you hold me, just like this, for a little while longer?” “Eeeyup,” he said with a smile. He gently rocked her back and forth, like he would with a foal. She closed her eyes after a moment. She breathed into his fur, and were it not for the occasional twitch of her wings, Big Mac might have thought she had fallen asleep. It took some time before Cloudkicker sighed and stood up. Even seated, his height matched hers. She put a forehoof around his neck and pressed her head beside his. She whispered into his ear, “Thanks, Big Mac. That was the best fifty bits I’ve ever spent.” Straightening up, she turned away from him quickly. He could see a flicker of sunlight glint off of a tear as it fell and disappeared into the pile of hay. She spread her wings and flew out the door in the gabling above his head. It closed just as her blond tail passed through the portal. Big Mac sighed and glanced at his jar. Fifty bits! He actually got fifty bits! It wasn’t enough yet, but he didn’t think he’d get any bits at all from this foolhardy venture. The barn door opened with a creak. Big Mac’s smile vanished and he froze like a deer caught by a predator. Bon Bon trotted into the barn, looking around like she owned the place. Her brows furrowed as she looked him up and down. “Get in here, Lyra,” she said at the barn door. Not one predator, Big Mac was caught by two predators. Lyra walked into the barn with shaky hooves, a sheepish smile, and her head bowed. Her eyes looked everywhere but at Big Mac. Bon Bon had no such trouble as she trotted right up to him. She put her nose in the air and said, “Your equipment works?” “Uhh… eyup?” Big Mac had never been asked such a question before. “Good.” Without further ceremony, she deposited fifty bits into his jar. “And now you’ll do as I ask, right?” she inquired, as she shook the jar to illustrate the many additional bits. “Uhh… eeeyup…?” Big Mac’s eyes darted around, looking for an escape hatch. What had he gotten himself into? He had only a general idea what to do in order to satisfy one mare, let alone two. Why did Ah have to write satisfaction guaranteed on that stupid sign? Well, Ah guess Ah’ll just do ma best. So long as Ah git the bits, an’ what goes on here stays here, Ah should be okay, he thought to himself. “Excellent, I want you...” Bon Bon pointed at him, then at Lyra. “...to put a foal in her. RIGHT NOW!”