//------------------------------// // Really Celestia, Really? (edited) // Story: How Did This Happen? // by Cobolt Soundwave //------------------------------// It was relatively late at night when I was playing Payday 2 on my pc. Let me just say that my computer is close to a little over two years old, so it goes without saying that my 'rig' isn't a perfect thing to play games on. Most of my games do work pretty well though, so that's good. Now, back to me, I've given up trying to get the game to run long enough without it completely crapping itself so I did what every gamer does...rage-quit. "Grrrrrrrrr, fuck this crap!" I kept my voice low so as not to alert my parents to my late night gaming. I was just switching over to the next game; it's 'Call of Duty: Ghosts' if any of you are wondering. Yes I play C.O.D., and yes, I know that most C.O.D. games are full of older males with their children in the background as they play, and yes I know that there are also little children that yell at you, call you a faggot, and also tell you that they have had FAR more sex than you have at the age of twelve. But weirdly enough, that happens to be the only Call of Duty game that I can actually 'tear it up' in. Sorry I got side-tracked from the story, just give me a moment to remember where I was...ahhhh yes, I remember now. I was just loading the game when my phone gave my a little chime, letting me know that I had just gotten a new e-mail. Being the curious person I was, I decided to check it. It said that is was from somebody with the initials… P.C.? I found it really funny since at the moment I was on my computer. I decided that instead of opening the thing up on my phone, which of course, would've taken me about five seconds to do. I went into google and opened my e-mail, and loaded it up. I just stared at the screen for what seemed a good ten seconds or so before thinking to myself. "This has got to be a joke." Now I wasn't mad, or upset, I was more amused than anything else. I thought it was pretty funny, since most of my friends know that I am a brony. I just chalked it up to one of them actually having the balls to send a joke e-mail like this. I read the thing just for shits and giggles. It went a little something like this: Dear, Mr. Rojas It was come to my attention that you have countless times mentioned how you would like to come to Equestria, and live in my kingdom. I would like to extend an invitation here, so you may visit. You may choose to decline of course, but know that if you do, you will not receive another invitation from me. "So how would you like to come to Equestria?" Sincerely, Princess Celestia Well...that was interesting. I wonder, should I reply? Or should I just ignore it? If it is one of my friends just fucking around with me, it won't matter. Then again, hey, you never know. "Ahhh, fuck it." I mutter to myself as I respond to it. Yes I would like to come. Signed, your faithful subject. I just chuckled to myself as it notified me that I sent it. I was half expecting to see some dude's or even my friends’ dong, in the next e-mail, but alas, that did not happen, instead my computer gave me the one thing that all gamers and non-gamers in general never want to see. My computer blue-screened. To say that I was mad was an understatement. I was furious; I had replied to an email that made my computer probably break. So I did the only logical thing...I yelled and hit my desk. "What the actual frick man!?" I yelled and slammed my hands, palm down, on the table, careful to not smash my mouse and keyboard in me rage. I was actually surprised that my parents, or brother for that matter, didn't wake up. Normally my parents would wake up for the littlest things and my brother would follow with it coming out of his room yelling for whatever made the noise to, and I quote, "Shut the fuck up." my brother is just like me; cranky if we get woken up before our bodies wake us up themselves. My anger disappeared completely as my screen went from blue screen, to a vortex thing that you would see in the intro of a Doctor Who episode. What? I love that show, don't judge. Anyway, They screen is now spinning and showing a menagerie of colors. My curiosity strikes again and I lean forward to look at the spinning screen. "What the fuuu-" Was all my brain had time to process before I felt my head getting closer to the screen...I wasn't moving it, I was being sucked into it. Before I had time to do or say anything else I was already halfway into it. My brain, being the lovely organ that it is, only had one final thought before either I A. died by getting sucked into something deadly, or B. actually going to Equestria. I thought, "Well...at least I'll look decent when I get there, if I'm not, ya'know, getting sucking into nothingness of course." I've read fanfiction before, and they all say that when you get sucked through a portal, that all you see is blackness. I'll just say, complete, and utter, bull. That shit was about as bright as staring at a light bulb directly. It wouldn't be so bad if, ya know, I wasn't easily sickened by the feeling of spinning and/or tumbling. I was surprised that I didn't blow chunks in the vortex; I really didn't want to run into my own stomach contents...gross. After what felt like a good minute or so, which I later found out was only fifteen seconds, I saw an even brighter light at the end and I had to squint my eyes so I wasn't blinded by the light...man I wish I could listen to that song right now *sigh*...where was I...oh yeah, about to fly through, what I hoped was the end of the portal, vortex, whatever this thing was. So I braced for impact as I felt myself fall through the other end. Only to land on something soft, the thing is that, that soft thing made an 'oomph' noise. I slowly opened my eyes and notice that I was...muzzle? I had a muzzle now, when did that happen? Never mind that, I'll worry about that later. Anyway, I was muzzle to muzzle with none other than my favorite princess of the night...Luna. I did the only thing sensible in this situation. "Hi." "Hello." That voice! Man that voice, gotta love it, and at least she didn't yell into my ear and completely rupture it. "Umm, sorry 'bout landing on your, uhhhh, lap...your highness." "N-No, it's quite alright, you didn't know." Wow. She was really taking this whole 'sitting on her lap thing' well, huh. I would have thought that she would freak-out in this kind of situation. Oh well. "Haha, hey Luna, it looks like ya' finally caught yourself a stallion, huh?" Said a voice, a voice that I knew all too well, and it was giggling. DAT GIGGLE! "Rainbow, behave yourself darling. She's probably just in shock is all. though I would had tossed him off my lap already.” Ahhh Rarity, that mare seriously deserves to get her break already and make it big. Also, love that accent she has. Screw all you other people who think that someone sounding so proper all the time is annoying, shame on you for thinking that. I turn my head and see the six mares who are like, the only reason why I actually decided to respond...that and there was the small chance that I could meet the princess that I was sitting on...I'm still sitting on her. Crud! With all the grace of a flopping fish that just got taken from the river, I barrel rolled out of her lap and right smack dab onto the hard, cold, unforgiving floor. "Ouch, that looked like it hurt. You alright there blueberry?" "That voice, it doesn't sound familiar. Wait, blueberry, what?" "Barb! Say you’re sorry! And for the love of Celestia will someone PLEASE help him up!?" "What?...WHAT!? BARB!? As in...female Spike!? Okay...what?" I thought to myself. I was very confused now. Although that thought process didn't last long, as I felt myself being lifted up by a pair of strong, yet gentle hands. When I looked up I saw the freckled face of Applejack. Okay, gonna admit, 'cause, ya know, no shame that I almost squealed that APPLE-FREAKING-JACK was picking me up off the floor. "Ya alright there sugarcube?" I just nodded my head. At least my mouth wasn't gaping from the surprise. I turned my attention to the only dragon in the room, and lo and behold, I was right, it was a rule sixty-three Spike, or I guess it's Barb now. "Ummm, sup." To which they replied with a chorus of greetings. "Hello." There's my favorite librarian turned princess. "Hey." Cool, I got a dragon friend...I hope. "Hello darling." I just smile back at her, bowing seems to much and I'm too far to kiss her hand, which I'm sure she'd eat right up. "Howdy!" I tipped an imaginary hat at her, which made her grin. "Hello there." This one much quieter than the rest. I think I knew who said that. "HIYA!" Ahhh, good 'ol Pinkie. The last one ended up being right up in my face, not that I minded though since it was from my favorite rainbow mare. "Sup! I'm sure you know who I am, but I'll tell ya again anyway, juuuuust in case you forgot. I'm Rainbow Dash, Equestria's best, and fastest flier and future wonderbolt!" Yup, never change Dash, never change. I just had to say hi again to her. "Wassup Dash! And just so you know, I know you’re all of that." Rainbow really like that, she puffed out her chest in pride...until Rarity had to bring down the Anti-fun hammer right on our heads. "Dear, don't inflate her ego anymore than what it is already, it might go to her head." Dash deflated at that and was about to retort, until I beat her to it. "Wow, Rarity, that was just cold. It's perfectly fine to brag a little, especially when you actually have the skills to back it up with." I said with a smug look on my face. Dash was just staring at me with a look of awe on her face, that I actually defended her like that. "Well yes, but she does it-" I cut her off though. "I mean come on, you brag a bit about your clothes too, and how you've gotten to make clothing for famous ponies, right? Right?" Rarity was a bit flabbergasted at my statement, but she didn't deny it. "Well, yes I, uhhmm...help me out here somepony won't you?" When nopony came to her verbal aid I summed it up to a win. "Ha! Sweet, Rarity zero, me one...give me five Dash!" Dash was quick to reciprocate the high-five. "Heck yeah!" The room was fulled with an echoing 'slap' sound from our high-five. Only to be cut right through by a decently loud clearing of one's throat. Everypony, including me, turned to see none other than Princess Celestia standing with her arms crossed in-front of her chest with a brow raised. "Hello everypony, sorry I'm a bit tardy to the party. I was just getting changed into something more casual for our little chat." All six mares gave a small bow out of respect and I did so as well. "You don't have to bow to me young one, now, stand up." I assumed that she was talking to me. It's weird, since I swear I thought I would have been nervous if I ever met with her for real, but I was acting as if I had just saw an old friend. "Hi Celestia, so is it safe to assume that it's your fault that I got sucked through a portal and fell on your sisters’ lap?" I said with my arms crossed, my brows furrowed and a fake sense of accusation. Of course it didn't work in my favor, since she knew that I was just joking. "Well yes and no. That would be Eris' fault, not my own." "Eris...as in the female version of Discord...can life get any better!?" I thought to myself once again, until a flash of light and a 'pop' noise later, said draqonicus was standing beside Celestia. "Hello human, or should I say pony at this point." Hmm, well that would explain the whole muzzle deal, wait hold up...blueberry...pony...I need a mirror. "Quick, Eris, I need a mirror!" I shouted. She just snapped her fingers and a full length mirror popped up in-front of me. I practically shout-no I did shout, I was ecstatic. "Holy sweet mother of Celestia and Luna I look just like my ponysona!" I was indeed my ponysona, my fur was close to a dark blue, my eyes were a light-ish blue, my hair-err, mane was jet black on top with dark red in the back, my tail was jet black on the sides with the dark red hairs sandwiched between them and I had wings. Ladies and gentlemen, or I guess it would be mares and gentlecolts now I suppose, I'm a Pegasus. What baffled me was the fact that I had that pair of green Skullcandy Skullcrushers around my neck. How I didn't notice them before was a complete mystery. Also, I had hooves for feet instead of, well, you know, feet. Not a big deal, though, it was a little weird know that I didn't have toes anymore. There goes all the fun times I used to bug people by sticking my foot in their face. It was fun, until someone actually bit them, after that, not so much. My cutie mark was also a pair of black headphones with silver accents and red cushioning it wasn't on my flanks, at least not that I knew of since I saw it on my neck. This was getting more and more awesome by the second. I was also wearing my favorite camouflage cargo pants with a shirt that had a human looking Vinyl Scratch on it with a button up camouflage shirt. I also had my Doctor Who wristband on my right wrist, and my Rainbow Dash one on the other, topped off with my brony snap-back. Even though I know I didn't have some of the items or accessories when I was still back home I paid it no mind. Twilight's voice busted through the silence finally after so long. "Well if you’re done admiring yourself, maybe you can introduce yourself finally." She half asked, half stated. The others just nodded their heads, Pinkie’s head was a blur...no, really. It was a blur from how fast she was nodding. That mare is all kinds of awesome. "The names Soundwave! Cobalt Soundwave!" I said enthusiastically. Then I looked down and saw that I was hovering in the air. I've never flown a single day in my life, nor have I had wings until just a few minutes ago, and here I was, flapping my new wings, which felt amazing by the way, and flying. "Woah! sweet! I can fly! HAHA nice!" I said as I thrust my hand upwards in a cheer. "Awwww-yeah now I got another flying buddy. Hope ya' can keep up." She gave me a cocky grin, to which I replied with my own. "Oh you better believe it, Dash." Still flapping and staying afloat while crossing my arms. Celestia decided now to butt into the conversation. "I'll take it you like it here so far?" I dropped down to the floor since it wasn't too high from ground anyway. "Yeah, no, I don't like it," Celestia was about to ask why, but I wasn't finished. "I love it!" Celestia's smile returned. "I mean, just wow." I couldn't say anything else so Celestia said it for me. "I'll just take it you like it here." I just nodded my head. Then Eris spoke next. "How'd you like your trip here?" I decided to be a wise-guy with my answer. "Well the ride sucked, I didn't like the colors...oh and there were no complimentary in-flight peanuts." That sure got a rise out of Luna, she was trying not to laugh at watching Eris getting her snarky question decimated. Even Celestia was failing to suppress her giggles. Music to my ears. I just chuckled at the look on Eris' face. She looked cute with a pout on her face. "Awww don't be sad Eris, 'sides, you look cute when you pout." I said with a smirk on my face. Eris' face was bright crimson and now Celestia and Luna were holding their sides, the others as well were laughing. "Okay, okay, come on, let's leave her alone girls." Eris relaxed and her blush started to reduce slightly although I noticed it was kind of still there, but not much. I walked over to her and she looked away, not making eye contact. "Hmmm, must be that comment about being cute I made." I thought. "Hey, come on take it easy, if the Goddess of chaos is to busy being bashful who's going to make cotton candy clouds that rain CHOCOLATE RAIN!" She looked at me finally so I could look into her eyes. They were red of course, the same as if she would have been Discord, but on her they looked beautiful. "Besides," I gave her a raised eyebrow and threw my arms up into the air while I finished. "EVERYPONY NEEDS A LITTLE CHAOS IN THEIR LIVES!" Eris' eyes were twinkling with happiness. Guess I must have made here happy there, good. "A sprinkle of it there, a sprinkle of it here, a sprinkle of it everywhere!" All the while waving my arms around like a magician. The others were looking at me with varying stages of amusement. Celestia's being the most amused. "Finally somepony who appreciates a little chaos every now and again, unlike sunbutt over there." Okay, I swear I thought I bust my gut with how hard I laughed at her comment on her butt. "HAHAHAHAHA OH GOSH MY SIDES, MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!" In between my bellowing laughter. Barb seemed to find it funny too 'cause she was holding her sides... and was that a little giggle escaping Twilight's mouth. "Okay, if we are quite done speaking about my rear," I was still gigglin' a bit I managed to compose myself...for all of two seconds before my and Eris bust out laughing again. Celestia just rolled her eyes at us as we, at last, started to calm down and wipe the tears from our eyes. "Okay, now that you giggle's are out of the way, let's talk." Still letting out a chuckle or two I asked back. "About what?" "Your home!" She said cheerfully. "Oh this is gonna' be good." I thought. "Let the questions floweth forth." "And that's a car in a nutshell." I said crossing my arms, finally done with their game of 150 question's. I didn't mind, the look on Twilight's face was a reward all in and of itself. "So, what do you guys think about my home now?" Everypony had different looks on their faces. Twilight's was fascination, Rainbow's was that of looked determined, but I know why, I had told her of the famous 'blue angels' group of jet pilots who, are like the wonderbolts in a way, and she said she'd fly just as fast as them. Rarity had a sparkle in her eye since I told her about some of the fashion and showed her some pics on my phone, which made it through the portal with me, and now she wanted to make a new line with some of the ideas based off of what I showed her. Applejack was a bit confused, but understood why humans need so much "Technological mumbo-jumbo" as she called it. Pinkie tongue quite literally dropped from her mouth when told about all the different pastries that I had eaten in the past and she was drooling slightly. Fluttershy awwed at all the animals that I showed her on my phone. Celestia said that I might be picking up some Wi-fi from the castle. My only thought, "Sweet, free internet!" no worrying about not being able to look stuff up on my phone, though 'imma have to get rid of it when I get a phone from here. Kinda want a new one, the one I got is all beat up. Anyway, moving on to Barb, she whooped at a video of a guy taking a lighter and a can of aerosol and making a flamethrower out of them. Celestia and Luna were surprised at how far we were with our tech. and told me that besides planes, cars, and some other small things, that we were pretty much the same tech. wise. "Well your home is certainly chaotic." Said a certain draconicus. "Oh yeah, it is...and I wouldn't have had it any other way." I said with a toothy smile. A thought just crossed my mind, where am I going to sleep tonight. I mean, I could ask one of the girls if I could stay with them for the night. "Hey girls?" They looked at me. "Where am I gonna' sleep tonight?" The mares all looked at each other and then turned back to me. "Well you can stay with either of of us if you like." Said Twilight. "Well, gee thanks. I could have found a motel or..." I remembered that I have no money here. "yeah, right with what money." Celestia, oh heavens bless her, what she did next really made me happy. "Well since you have no money at all and no place to stay, I can give you a small amount to get by for now and I can even have a place bought out for you as well." She had that caring and loving smile on, that one she always had. "Celestia, you have no idea how happy you just made me. If it weren't for fear of being sent to outer space I would kiss you...on the cheek. I ain't that cheeky, heehee, to try that mind you." "Ohh I wouldn't mind." Wow Celestia, just wow. "Don't give me any ideas now princess, haha." After that we walked out to the courtyard where both the Princesses handed me a bag of bits each. I quickly remembered that I didn't have a place to put them. That is until my Rainbow Dash 20% Cooler, messenger bag fell out of the sky and fell into my hands, knocking the bits right out of them and making me let out a small 'oomph' from the impact. "Huh, wha!? Where did you come from? My lovely bag you." I kissed it to the confusion of all around me and admiration of a certain Pegasus. When I looked inside, my eyes nearly bugged out of my head. Inside was my gaming headset, gaming mouse, aviator sunglasses, Jam speaker with the wire for charging it, A bottle of my cologne which was a bit weird, and my three favorite vinyl figurines of Twilight, Rainbow, and Trixie. "Oh, heck yes! And I have a place to put my bits now." I said happily as I put my bag around my shoulders and put the bit bags inside. "Okay, NOW I'm all set." "Great," Twilight clapped her hands. "it was nice seeing you again Celestia and Luna, but we should really be getting to the train station if we are to get home by ten tonight." Ahhh Twilight, always the punctual one. "Alright, farewell my friend, I shall come by sometime next week to check-up on our new friend here." I smiled and crossed my arms. "I look forward to it." With that, me and the rest of the girls and even Eris, who decided to tag along with us, made our way for the train station and bought our tickets to board the train. I just thought how amazing it had been so far just being here, here in Equestria, with all the ponies that I know. The train had just arrived and we boarded it, and got comfortable in our room, specially reserved for a princess and her guests. We then settled in for the night until the whistle of the train let us know we were about to arrive in Ponyville. "'Night girls." I said, nice and comfortable in my bunk and ready to turn in for the night, or at least for a short while. I got another chorus of 'goodnights' and then we all quieted done for the train ride home...my new home.