//------------------------------// // Ch. 5 Lesson 0² // Story: C-R-O-W-N-E-D S-O-U-L // by Mordy //------------------------------// C-R-O-W-N-E-D S-O-U-L By: Mordy Ch. 5 Lesson 0² It had been over a week since my arrival. I was steadily recovering to a point where I could make my first move. While I didn’t know where my crown was, I knew a good place to start; the Castle of the Two Pony Sisters. The journey there may have been short, but with it being in the Everfree forest it would best if I took the side of caution and wait untill I had enough strength to either fend for myself, scare the local fauna, or run away like a chicken with its head cut off. Till then, I simply needed to bide my time. Luckily, Ponyville had a way of keeping me entertained. Not that there was a very high bar for me. When you’re stuck as a crystal for as long as I have been, even the most mundane of things became quite exciting. Now that I was able to move on my own I would just wander around town to take in the sights. Unfortunately, there were a few factors that hindered me from starting up my own fun and havoc. First was Fluttershy. The poor mare hardly wanted me out of her sight. She was a bit overbearing at times and it took a few days before she was okay with me wandering off on my own. That didn’t stop Angel from following me though. He may not be able to prove I had an evil eye, but if he caught me doing something he might be able to get me in trouble. Thankfully he started to leave me be so he could stay near Fluttershy and not worry about her. Sadly, that’s when the most annoying reason came up; Twilight. Twilight was very well known for loving research. She once made a research paper about researching. I wish I was kidding about that. Anyway, when she went into research mode you best pray to whatever deity you believed in that you weren’t the subject of interest. That mare trailed and tracked me non-stop trying to learn whatever she could. She learned nothing of value, but that didn’t stop her from taking ludicrous notes. I spent one of my days just sitting on a bench doing nothing, but staring out into space. I had hoped Twilight would get bored, but she started mumbling something about it being a possible defense mechanism or the maybe some form of restoration similar to photosynthesis. She was pretty much grasping at straws at that point. Luckily other important matters such as studying came up and that put her research on hold. Currently I was out with Fluttershy and the others for a get together picnic. I was just drinking some apple juice through a straw because orange juice would offend Applejack. I did this as the others chatted up while Rarity was being a drama queen and fainting onto a couch she brought with her. The only pony missing at the moment was Twilight. It was a bit odd that she was late out of all of them. However, I wasn’t really caring with all the harassment she had been giving me. Besides, I was still thinking back to the massage Flutters had given to a bear earlier. That had been something interesting to see. It was then that Twilight arrived with hair that looked like it hadn’t been brushed in ages. I took one glance at her freaky smile and then I noticed the madness that filled her eyes. I quickly realized something; today was her Lesson Zero episode. As the crazy horse started to explain her situation about being late for a friendship report only to get brushed off and laughed at by her friends, I knew this wasn’t right. I could not in good conscience just sit here at this picnic with my juice and ignore this problem when I knew what was coming ahead. I had to do something about this… With a quick flick I set up a lawn chair and then plopped right into it. I put on the shades Rainbow Dash had given me while I grabbed a large bucket of popcorn and a large soda. I currently overlooked from the top of a hill at three familiar fillies that had yet to get their cutie marks that were playing with a ball. There was no way I would just hang out with the others and have a picnic when I could get a front row seat and watch Twilight’s madness unfold. This was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Discord would be so jealous right now if he knew. I started to stuff my face with popcorn while taking sips of my soda. I looked to and fro in attempt to spot Twilight. Where was the mad mare anyway? Show couldn’t start without her. A shadow then hovered over me and I looked up to see Twilight’s mad grinning face looking down at me. It was apparent her insanity levels had kicked up a few notches since her arrival at the picnic. I merely blinked at her and wondered why she was looking at me like that. Twilight held up her ugly smarty pants doll and for a moment she seemed a bit saner as she considered the doll then looked back at me. She pondered as she kept looking between the two of us. Suddenly she kept her gaze on me as her insane grin returned. Twilight… why are you looking at me like that? I felt myself being picked up by her magic, making me drop my snacks and shades. No Twilight put the demonic eye down! She started to sneak through the bushes with me in tow. Put me down Twilight! I don’t like where this is going! We suddenly teleported inside the ball the Cutie Mark Crusaders had been playing with, making it pop as Twilight said with a creepy smile, “Hi girls!” Run foals, run! As Twilight stalked the three fillies with me being pulled along behind her I did my best to try and get away, but Twilight’s magic was too strong for me to escape. I was quickly introduced to the CMC by Twilight. “This here is Yami!” I had already run across them before and they thought I was cool, but they obviously saw my discomfort and my eyes pleading for them to get away. Twilight tried to subtly make me a rift between the three fillies, but failed spectacularly and I was relieved to see them try to put a little distance between themselves and Twilight. Of course I was mostly worried about me. They were all hesitant to play with me at that moment and kept pushing one another to play first. Had it not been forced on by Twilight they all might have actually fought over who got to play with me first if they didn’t know how to share me that is. I then noticed Twilight was casting a spell on me and I realized in horror it was the Want It, Need It spell. I pointed threateningly at Twilight. Know this Twilight, if you strike me down I will come back far more powerful than you can possibly imagine! I wouldn’t be a good final boss otherwise. That would have meant more if I had actually said it out loud. I could only watch in horror as the spell took effect and I was dropped to the ground and the three fillies looked on at me longingly. This would not end well… Whenever I get my powers back, I was going to cast the Want It, Need It spell on Twilight then throw her into a pit filled with monsters or bronies. Either way she would be torn apart. This was the only thought that brought me joy as I was being chased down by a bunch of ponies. It had started out simple, I ran/floated away from the CMC only to run into Big Mac. He immediately started to give chase as well and managed to herd me into a bunch of other ponies. Those ponies forced me to run into more ponies and it pretty much snowballed from there. Gliding across the ground didn’t use much energy, but it didn’t do anything about my current stress levels. I had a stampede behind me and if I wasn’t careful I’d probably be crushed to death or, god forbid, hugged to death. I really wish I had been watching where I was going, because I turned the corner around a house and found myself in the marketplace. It was easily filled with a quarter of Ponyville’s population. I hated my life so much at that point. I did the stupid thing and ran straight through, dodging and weaving through stands, ponies, and anything else that saw fit to get in my way. I would have made Rainbow Dash’s jaw drop if she had seen my acrobatics. The stupidity of this action became apparent as I realized I had just put myself deeper into Ponyville where there was even more ponies. It got so ridiculous with the chase that some ponies weren’t even affected by the spell and were simply following because of the herd mentality. I would have knocked some sense into them if I wasn’t fleeing for my very life. Running out of places to go, I saw one possible salvation; the Everfree Forest. If the place was truly as dangerous as they say, it might just scare off some of the herd. If they still followed me in I could still lose them through the trees or they might become a snack for some of its denizens. I was okay with both scenarios. I made a beeline for the forest as the sound of hundreds of hoofs stomped on the ground as I was followed. This was a brilliant plan! That was a brilliant plan. Brilliant in how totally idiotic it was! So, instead of being chased by ponies, I was now being chased by ponies, a pack of timber wolves, a couple of manticores, a cragodile, a dragon, a flock of cockatrices, a chimera, a bunch of bats, three French hens, two turtle doves, a nest of bees, a nest of hornets, an ursa minor, a hydra, parasprites, a flamingo, and a snapping turtle who was in the lead only because he kept his jaw tightly clamped on my cape even as he was being flung around. If I had my large eye open it would be so wide right now it would be popping out of its socket. For now my two white ones were doing their best to compensate. Twilight was watching on in stock horror as I fled out of the forest. She couldn’t believe the mess she had caused. Her jaw looked ready to completely fall off and all she could do was whisper, “I can fix this…” “Twilight Sparkle!” Twilight nearly jumped out of her skin as next to her stood Princess Celestia. “P-P-Princess!” Twilight stuttered out. Celestia nodded. “I was informed by Spike you were worried about being late for an assignment. He made it sound like you were in huge trouble so I came to reassure you that it’s okay if you’re late for it. For a little while I thought you were in danger and I almost expected half of the town to be involved too. I’m glad to find my worries to be unfounded.” She smiled warmly at Twilight as behind her I ran past with my growing army of adoring fans. Celestia’s ear flicked and turned her head to just miss the stampede. She merely shrugged as Twilight sighed with relief at the close call. “T-thank you Princess. I was just so worried at disappointing you…” “It’s perfectly alright Twilight. If you needed extra time you just had to ask. I don’t expect you to send me a report every week. You’ve already made tremendous progress as is.” Celestia leaned down and gave Twilight a little nuzzle. “Now, I have just one question before I go.” “Yes Princess?” Twilight replied, feeling very relieved. Celestia pointed down. “Who’s this little guy and why is there a Want It, Need It spell on him?” Twilight blinked and looked down to see me staring up at her and giving her a little wave. She became so pale that her whole body turned stark white. She looked past Celestia and could see stampede beginning to approach. If I’m going down I’m taking you both with me. “Is something wrong Twilight?” Celestia asked as she pulled the turtle off my cape and tossed it behind her. “That’s Yami and I did it!” Twilight admitted in a sob. “Twilight!” Celestia said in shock. “That can be a very dangerous spell! You’re lucky it was only a turtle that chased him and not…“ I interrupted my hated enemy as I forced her to turn her head to look behind her. The princesses eyes turned to pinpricks as she shouted, “WHAT THE BUCK?!” Both Twilight and I were stunned that Celestia chose to say that, but before we could process anything else, the princess lit up her horn in a golden light and disabled the spell. However, that didn’t calm things down. In fact it made everything more chaotic. Now a bunch of Ponyville’s citizens were now surrounded by some of Everfree’s worst monsters. It took the rest of the afternoon for Celestia to save everyone and chase off all of the monsters that had followed me out of Everfree. On the bright side, Pinkie Pie was nearby and was nice enough to bring me my foldout chair, sunglasses, and fresh batch of popcorn along with a soda. I finally got to have my entertainment for the evening. After the cleanup Celestia had gathered all the Elements of Harmony, Spike, and me into the library. The original Lesson Zero ending occurred with how Twilight’s friends would write friendship reports along with Twilight. Celestia was so busy with them that she hardly paid me any attention so I mostly just glared at her and Twilight the whole time. What proceeded though was what I would refer to as either a deleted scene or this only happening because of my presence to make everything so much worse. Celestia was on her way out when she stopped just outside the library’s exit. She turned back to Twilight to tell her something. “Oh Twilight,” she began as Twilight turned to look back at her. “If you ever do something like this again, I’ll imprison you in Tartarus.” Celestia started to chuckle and everyone else started to laugh along with her, though Twilight’s was a little more forced. What happened next chilled all of us to the bone, if I had bones. Celestia immediately stopped laughing and looked coldly at Twilight. “I’m serious,” she said darkly as she slammed the door shut causing all of us to pale except me, only because of my dark matter skin. Damn… Twilight was barely able to stop herself from shaking as she tried to laugh it off. Meanwhile Fluttershy came up to console her. “There there, I’m sure she didn’t mean it.” They both smiled weakly as Fluttershy added, “By the way, I think you owe somepony an apology.” She gestured to me as she said this. I just looked angrily at Twilight as she approached me nervously. “Yami,” she began, “I’m sorry I dragged you into my mess. It was a horrible thing to do and I hope you can forgive me.” The anger left my eyes and I just stared at her. I don’t know how I did it, because I was barely even thinking about it when it happened. In that very moment I pulled out an accordion style hand fan with a red handle. Everyone blinked and Pinkie Pie was the first to say something, “Hey, how’d he do that? Yami just pulled it out of nowhere! Have you ever seen anypony do something like that before?” We all just turned slowly to the pink mare and stared blankly. Did the pony of reality breaking 101 seriously just question how I pulled something out of thin air? Really?! Pinkie just looked at all of us. “What is there something on my face?” Everyone ignored her then Twilight and I returned our attention to each other and she tentatively asked, “So… do you accept my apology?” I gave my equivalent of smile at Twilight, using my eyes. She smiled back… that was until I smacked her so hard with my fan it left a red mark on her face. “Ow! Why did you…” Twilight never got to finish as I proceeded to smack her with the fan at blinding speeds, leaving stinging marks all over her. It took both Fluttershy and Rarity to get me off of the lavender mare as she backed up and was on the verge of tears from the stinging paddling I had given. Fluttershy had to hold me tightly as I fumed and kept trying to get at the mare. “Uh… I don’t think he forgives you Twi,” Dash commented as she hovered near Twilight just in case I got loose again. Twilight groaned and sarcastically remarked, “Gee, I hadn’t notice.” “Yami!” Fluttershy scolded as I calmed down slightly and looked up at her. “That is no way to treat somepony. All she was trying to do was apologize and then–“ Fluttershy stopped for a moment when I dropped my fan and grabbed a piece of paper and started to quickly draw out something with quill and ink. Rarity hovered nearby and commented, “Oh my, he’s quite the artist!” I did have wonderful drawing skills, but it was only thanks to the power I got from Drawcia. Normally my artistry was complete crap. When I finished my drawing I held it out for Fluttershy to see. I had drawn the scene of me running from everything that had been chasing me, even adding waterfall fountain tears pouring out of my eyes. I hadn’t been crying, but I needed sympathy points from Fluttershy right now. “Twilight...” Fluttershy started as she showed the picture to said mare. “Did you do this to Yami?” “Umm… yes?” she replied hesitantly. Fluttershy dropped the picture and then picked up my fan and stared blankly at Twilight. Then in the next instant, Fluttershy descended onto Twilight with a terrifying wrath as she continuously smacked the living daylights out of the mare. She did this all while shouting, “HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO HORRIBLE TO SUCH AN INNOCENT CREATURE!!!” Our mouths collectively dropped, even my own which meant my red eye was now just staring at cloth covering it. None of us had expected this. We learned that day, never make Fluttershy angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry. Twilight just curled up while shouting apologies, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” No one was going to get in the way of this and frankly I was thoroughly enjoying myself. I was quite sad when it stopped, but brightened up when Fluttershy asked, “Do you accept her apology now Yami?” I feigned thinking about it and shook my head. Fluttershy nodded and proceeded back to punishing Twilight. It took about 300 or so whacks before I finally accepted and we were left with a mare with one tanned hide. Overall, it had been a good day!