Kyle looked from the plank in his hooves then back to the pink pony before him. Pinkie raised an eyebrow. He quickly shoved the board behind his back, smiling sheepishly.
"Um, I was hungry?" He tried to explain as he struggled not to cough up the excess wood lodged in his throat. The party pony's facial expression seemed to change faster than cheetah on steroids. She giggled and bounded over to him.
"Oh, that's okay,!" she smiled and grabbed his arm. "I always like to make ponies smile, even if you are a hobo." The pink mare dragged the confused stallion into the building, humming as she did. Wait, HOBO?!
"Hey, I'm not-" He was cut off as Pinkie dropped him on the tiled floor. A loud, "clunk" sounded throughout the room as Kyle's head was introduced to it. Groaning, he lifted himself up, mind reeling. A loud slam erupted from behind him, followed by hoof-steps nearing.
"Hey, are you okay?" a squeaky voice echoed in his ear. The stallion shook his, clearing his vision. He saw a pink pony standing over him, a worried look on her face. Kyle nodded slightly and grinned. Pinkie smiled as well, before walking over to the entrance of another room. He followed her and peered through the doorway.
"So, what are we doing?" he asked, curious. If it ends in me getting fed, I'm okay with it. ( Apparently Kyle's mother forgot to teach her nine year-old son about stranger danger and razor blades.) Pinkie skipped into the kitchen.
"Baking cupcakes!" she chirped and got out a large bowl from a cabinet. The stallion entered the room, his mouth watering. Thank god, I'm starving! He approached the counter and sat patiently for his food, watching as Pinkie prepared to bake the delectable pastry. She turned around and saw Kyle sitting there, drool sliding down his chin. She frowned and shoved gallon of milk into his face. The stallion took it and looked up at her in confusion, before uncapping the bottle and tilting his head back. The pink mare squealed and snatched it away from him.
"No, silly!" she gave him a measuring cup instead. "You put it in the BOWL not your MOUTH!"
Kyle sighed as he was handed a list of instructions. Do I REALLY have to help make them? I'm horrible at cooking! He slumped his shoulders and began adding ingredients to the batter. What is SHE doing anyway? She told me she was "preparing" the flour. How do you even do that? Doesn't it come in a bag? He stretched his neck, trying to see what the party pony was doing in the other room.( She said it was top secret. ) He managed to catch a glimpse of the baker breaking up something with what looked to be, a credit card? Pinkie then carefully poured the powder into the empty flour bag, leaving just a tiny bit on the table. She looked around, checking to see anypony was watching, then quickly bent down an snorted the white substance up her nose. She straightened back up, shaking her head.
Kyle snapped back to the bowl, as the party pony was returning. She trotted in, eyes bright and alert, and shook the bag excitedly.
"Finished!" She approached the batter and opened the sack of "flour" eagerly. The stallion before her pulled the mixture back, unsure if he could trust the new baking ingredient.
"Um, wouldn't it be best is you told me what that IS, exactly?" he gestured to the bag. Pinkie looked down at the object in her hoof and frowned.
"It's just flour I modified, nothing special," she explained, scratching her arm. "I use it in all my recipes." the pink mare's eye brow twitched, causing Kyle's uncertainty to rise. He hesitantly handed to bowl over and allowed her to pour the powder in, watching anxiously.
Pinkie Pie stirred the concoction, keeping her eyes focused on her work. Kyle waited for her to finish, staring at the white smudge under her nose. What IS that? Is it edible? She said she puts it in all her desserts, so it must be safe to eat. I hope it's not drugs...
A sweet and tangy aroma drifted through the kitchen as the freshly baked cupcakes were pulled from the stove. Kyle 's mouth watered at the sight of the sweet treat, his stomach grumbling. Pinkie wiped the sweat from her forehead and placed the tray on the counter, then removed her oven mitts. She smiled and admired their creation, eager to dig in after they had cooled.
"You just wait, Mr. Hobo, Once these babies are ready, your tummy will be full and happy."
"I'm not, HOMELESS!" The stallion bellowed. Pinkie ignored him and continued to gaze at the delectable treat.
After what seemed like hours, Pinkie finally took the cupcakes out of the tray and set them on a plate. She picked one up and took a bite, her eyes widening as her lips made contact with it. She wolfed the rest of it down and grabbed another one.
"These are SO good!" she exclaimed, mouth full. Kyle frowned and tapped his hoof impatiently.
"Come on, can I PLEASE have one now?" he whined. The mare holding the plate turned and looked at him.
"Oh, sorry." she gave him a cake, and continued to eat the others. Kyle opened his mouth wide, but closed it before he could take a bite. What about that stuff she put in it? I'm still not sure if it's safe to eat...
He watched as Pinkie gobbled the sweets down like a dog. Well, it's not hurting HER. He took a little nibble of his cupcake, and gasped as the taste touched his tongue. It was amazing! He seemed to inhale the rest of it, and turned greedily to the plate for more. He snatched one away from Pinkie, who was sucking up the pastries like a vacuum. He took a bite and moaned, feeling the gooey treat slide down into his stomach.
"Oh my god, Pinkie," he sighed between bites. "These are AMAZING!" The party pony beamed.
"Thanks!" She leaned in closer, motioning for him to do the same.
"The secret flour I used," she whispered. "is dried alligator egg-whites." Kyle looked down at his cupcake in awe. Whoa, cool. He then remembered the earlier events and raised his head up to Pinkie.
"Well, how come you were snorting it up your nose?" He asked. Pinkie Pie blushed.
"I just really, REALLY like the smell of it." she laughed. "It reminds me of baby wipes."
Kyle waved back to the party pony as he got farther away from Sugar Cube Corner. He called out, "thank you's" and "Goodbye's ", while Pinkie returned the gratitude.
Once the bakery was out of sight, Kyle went on to the next item on his mental checklist. Find some goddamn clothes. Even though everything was covered, the fact that he was technically still naked creeped him out beyond belief. Pinkie had told him about a place her friend owned, and could probably give him something for free. The stallion set his destination for Carousel Boutique, and began to trot down the path to coverage. ( and fast. )