Till death do we derp

by Jack Hooves


Chapter two: What's going on?

I looked around quickly as I heard the PIT-PAT of people marching loudly coming toward the bend at the end of the corridor and quickly jumped into the room across from me and locked the door before I broke the controls on it and turned off the lights before I got in a corner and looked out the window as I saw them stop at the room I was just in, Their heavy bulky armor made it hard for them to move, and their identities hidden as their faces were covered also, I watched as one of them set a explosive on the door and blew it open before they rushed in there, Firing blindly before they realized no one was in there at all besides them.

"God bucking dammit! You said Alpha leader said he was in here!" One said before he slugged the other one in front of him across the face plate hard enough to rattle his helmet loose.
"I just followed my orders sir." The one that got hit said as he clenched his hands out of sight.
"Search these rooms for the Sith and make sure he is killed, and bagged for examination." The leader said as he strolled off.

One of them walked over to my door and pressed the open button, and when nothing happened he shrugged his shoulders and shouldered his rifle as he quickly got onto one knee and began to try and force the door open by crossing the wires.
"Fuck this door!" He shouted as he jerked his hands back as the panel now began to smoke from their side, the one that had slugged him walked up behind and shoved him into the glass hard enough to crack to it.

"Leave it, but if he gets away, it is going to be your ass cadet." He said, nearly snarling the words into the other stallions face, lifting him off the ground by his throat.
"Y-yes s-sir." The one being choked said before he was released and fell to the ground, holding his throat as he began to gasp and cough for air.
"Now, brave and charlie go to the south corridor, Delta your with me, rendezvous at the hangar in thirty minutes, any later and your staying here when the ship enters the orbit without engines powered up, and that is a promise." The leader said, obviously Alpha by the nick names.

I crouched near my duffel bag, slowly opening it when I saw that they were splitting up and one stopped for a second to pull out what appeared a picture of his special somepony , rubbing it for a second the soldier quickly put it into his helmet before running to catch up with Alpha.

"I know that feeling." I muttered to myself as I opened my bag all the way to see my picture of derpy resting on top of my clothes, and then noticed my lightsaber was also there, polished by someone.
"I'm not going to stop till I get home dear." I said while tucking the photo into the pocket of my shirt before I threw off my gown and put the shirt on, then my pants, socks, and boots.

I got up quickly and walked over to the door and tried the panel from my side and saw that it didn't work either.
"Cheap ass shit." I muttered to myself as I flicked my lightsaber open and began to cut a hole into the door.

Once the door had a hole big enough to fit me through I squeezed through and saw a shadow dart around the corner, I flicked my lightsaber off and walked carefully over the dead bodies to the end of the hallway where the shadow went to.
"......He didn't see us, no-one sees us, we break the 4th wall all the time." Somepony said as I neared the corner.
"No-one ever believes us, but we do, do it." It continued, making me shiver a little as began to back up.
"W-where are you going?" Somepony asked me as I felt a hand on my shoulder and a sharp object nick my back a little, easily cutting through my clothes, making jump and use the force to propel me down the hallway, when I landed, I quickly slid to my knees and turned around, bringing up my lightsaber and flicking it on, stopping in a defensive position.

"Off this bloody thing." I said while my lightsaber shined a dull green on the hallway lights and my face as the power was cut off.
"Who are you anyway? I was supposed to have a guard like that here with me." The pink pony said, her hair a tangled mess as her outfit was one of a Sith padawan.
"Sith knight Iron Hooves." I said while I began to sweat as I felt the familiar sickness that I had when I used the force too much.
"Ooooohhhhhh, 'bout time I found you, Palpatine said you would escort me." She said while smiling and her straitened out nearly instantly, as if the force was pulling it down, she sheathed her dagger into a pouch around her neck before she walked over and got behind me, and began to rub my shoulders with one hand, and my inner thigh with her other.
"I've been waiting for my big, bad, protector." She said seductively as she neared my crotch.

"I'M MARRIED!" I nearly shouted while using the force to push her off of me, and stood up shakily, leaning onto the wall for support as I struggled against the black dots that were dancing in front of my eyes.
"Tsk-Tsk, well let's get going then sexy." She said while laughing as a emergency generator powered on and the red lights began to flash, letting us know we had entered orbit in what had felt like a few moments.

"W-where is the bridge?" I asked while taking a few deep breaths and straightened up, flicking my lightsaber off and then attached it to my belt loop as I kept a eye on her.
"Behind you, up the elevator to the top." she said while smiling, her lipstick shining a cherry red due to the lighting, I sighed and turned around and saw that there was power in the elevators still, but only enough for one trip by the battery status.
"And where is the hanger?" I asked, trying to find a map on a local holopad.
"At the very bottom, like a mother giving birth." She said while rubbing herself as she said so.

"Fuck.......I guess we're going to the bridge." I said as I walked over to the elevator that was waiting, and motioned her to get in, after she got into the elevator I pushed the button for the bridge, and turned around at the exact moment the pink mare leaned in and kissed me on my lips, putting her hands around my neck.
"That make you feel good big guy?" She asked after she saw that I was blushing bright red.
"N-not now, we have to get off first." I said while moving out of her grip and stood in front of the elevator door, happy to get out as I saw that the elevator opened.