//------------------------------// // Chapter 1-2 // Story: Can't Let You Go // by FoughtDragon01 //------------------------------// Spike tossed and turned in his bed, blankets long since thrown over the side. His face was locked in a pained frown. He kept mumbling in his sleep as though it’d make them come true in his dreams, painful as they were. Finally, he woke up, his eyes snapping open as a deep gasp passed through his lips. It had been the same dream: the one in which he relived those last moments with Rarity. Despite the frequency with which he had them, the end result was always the same. He'd wake up in bed, his heart pounding against his chest, a cold sweat trickling down his forehead. Sounds from his dreams still lingered in his mind, echoing loud and clear as he struggled to clear his thoughts. It was a process that he had long since grown used to, but it never grew any less painful. As he lay in bed, his head finally clear, he glanced over to the space next to him. Though it was empty, he could still make out the depression from where she was sleeping. Must be making breakfast again, he assumed. It wouldn’t have been the first time that he was the last one to wake up; he was a rather heavy sleeper. Sitting up, Spike rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he glanced out the nearby window. Rays of the early morning sun shone over the horizon, the sun itself not even visible yet. He pinched the bridge of his nose, a quiet groan leaving his mouth; he was waking up earlier and earlier as of late. Spike tossed his legs over the bed, standing up as he let out a much-needed yawn. After placing the blankets back in their proper place on the bed, he made his way towards the door. On his way, he passed by a small photograph resting on a desk next to the doorway. It was a group photo of himself, Twilight, and the others on his thirteenth birthday. By then, he was already at least a head over the girls, and now that he was older, that height difference had nearly doubled. He had placed it there for a reason, so that he’d never forget about the good times that he had while he trudged through the bad. It was a simple photograph, but infinitely important all the same; it was a moment in time when all of them were together and happy. He used to spend hours staring at that photo, recounting all of the fun times that he had with the girls, but now, it was little more than a passing glance as he walked by. It was all he needed to get through the day. Spike’s short trek through the library brought him down the stairs and, soon enough, into the kitchen. Even before he reached it, his nostrils filled with the mouth-watering scent of a well-cooked omelet. Sure enough, when he walked through the doorway, there she was: the mare of his dreams. She was already busy cooking up breakfast, humming a soft, happy tune as she flipped a vegetable omelet onto a plate. “Morning, Rare,” Spike said through a yawn. The white unicorn didn’t take her eyes off of the food, instead switching her attention to another pan, this one cooking an omelet encrusted with gems. A quick flip of the spatula and the eggy delight found a home on its own plate. “Back from the dead, are we?” Spike could only scratch the back of his head, chuckling a sheepish chuckle as he made his way towards Rarity. “Yeah, well, you know how it is.” He wrapped a single arm around the mare’s neck, bringing her in close for a quick kiss on the forehead. “Did you get a good sleep last night?” Giggling, Rarity coyly worked her way from under Spike’s arm, making it a point to stick her rump in the air. Not that Spike was staring. “Oh, I’m absolutely fine, but thank you for asking. Though I must admit, however well I’ve slept hardly compares to you.” As Rarity made her way to the kitchen table, plates floating beside her, Spike could only look on, a confused eyebrow arched. “What do you mean by that?” Rarity settled the plates on the table before shooting Spike a sly look. “Sometimes I simply take a moment to watch you before I begin my day, wondering what exactly is going on in that scaly head of yours. Though I can get a fairly good idea some mornings; you say the most adorable things in your sleep.” Spike quickly turned his head towards the window, trying and failing to hide the faint hint of red spreading across his cheeks. Unfortunately, that cute little dose of embarrassment didn’t last long before a more somber sense of shame came to replace it. Though she didn’t explicitly state it, she didn’t need to in order for him to catch on. Sighing, Spike turned back towards his marefriend. “I woke you up again,” he said, shame behind his voice. “Listen, I’m sorry. I just—” Rarity could already sense his discomfort even before he opened his mouth, and quickly held up a hoof, effectively shushing him. “Spike, it’s quite alright. Honestly, I’ve been meaning to wake up earlier as of late, so you’re actually doing me a favor. With the library starting to see more activity lately, I’d need to adjust accordingly sooner or later.” Spike fixed his face to say something else, but simply nodded. “Right, right.” Slowly, he walked over towards the table, taking a seat in front of his meal. He brought his gaze down to the breakfast. The gems sprinkled throughout his omelet glistened in the morning sun shining through the window, making them seem all the more delectable. Not too long ago, he would’ve simply been unable to take his eyes away until his plate was cleaned to a near sheen. Now, he didn’t feel much of anything. He just sat there, staring at his plate, a small, somber frown on his face. It just didn’t make any sense. It already didn’t make much sense before, but the more he thought about it, the less sense it made. He shouldn’t have felt like this. He knew he shouldn’t have. He was living the dream. For as long as he could remember, he’d dreamt of the day when he’d finally be able to call Rarity his, when he’d be able to wake up next to her every morning, and fall asleep with her every night. Now here he was with the mare that he sought after for so long, and he couldn’t even muster a smile, even with his favorite breakfast staring him right in the face. It just… didn’t feel right. That was all he could say to describe it; for some reason, it just didn’t feel right. “You aren’t going to eat?” Spike snapped up to attention only to find Rarity getting up from her seat, an empty plate floating in her magic. He looked back down at his plate. Even without touching it, he knew that it had gone cold. The most he could do was force a small smile and a quick, casual shrug. “Heh, sorry,” he muttered. “Guess I’m just not feeling that hungry today.” Judging from the suspiciously raised eyebrow, it wasn’t difficult to assume that Rarity didn’t believe that. “Hmm, that doesn’t sound like the Spikey I know now, does it? You are nothing if not a bottomless pit.” Again, Spike mustered a short laugh, scratching his head. “Yeah, well… sometimes you just have those days, ya know?” A small, sly smirk tugged at the corners of Rarity’s mouth as she approached the sink. “‘Those days?’” Spike was quick—perhaps a bit too quick—to nod. “Yep. Anyway, don’t worry. I’m fine,” Spike assured. “What about you? Did you get enough to eat?” “Oh, but of course,” she said, placing her plate gently in the sink. She sounded confident in her answer. In fact, she was confident in her answer. Still, Spike couldn’t get that concerned frown off of his face. “Are you sure? You know I can always whip something up if you’re still a bit hungry.” A playful roll of the eyes was the most in way of reaction that Spike received. “Now Spike, you know that a lady must maintain her figure.” Her face softened into a sultry gaze as she turned back towards the dragon. “After all, I know that you certainly appreciate it.” A short chuckle escaped her muzzle as Spike tried to hide the inevitable blush. “But honestly, dear, I’m fine.” With an extra bit of pep in her step, she trotted up to her dashing partner, playfully grabbing his cheeks. “You need to stop worrying so much. Too much stress never does the body any good.” Even with his cheeks squished, Spike managed to utter, “Right, right.” “Now come on.” Rarity leant in, planting a quick kiss on Spike’s lips before releasing him. “You finish your food and I’ll get started on reorganizing the books. The sooner we can finish our work, the sooner we can have our… us time.” A quick wink and Rarity sauntered out of the kitchen, leaving Spike to finish his meal in peace. Or rather, that was the plan. In truth, Spike was in anything but peace, and nothing he did, nothing that she did, helped distract him from that. Ever since his talk with Twilight, everything just felt… different. Wrong. He couldn’t stop looking at Rarity in the wrong way. Every cough, every slight stagger in her walk, sent small jolts of panic up his spine. She’d always say that she was fine, but she just didn’t seem as bright as she did before. If Twilight really knew what she was talking about, then it was only a matter of time before Rarity... Spike immediately shook his head, clearing his mind of those negative thoughts. He wasn’t going to think like that, not now. Rarity was going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine. He’d make sure of that. He brought his gaze back down to his food. Finally picking up his fork, he cut away a piece and popped it into his mouth. Another frown appeared on his face. He was right. It had gone cold. A tired sigh passed through his lips as he got up from the table, plate in hand. Approaching the garbage bin, he tilted his plate down, letting the omelet slide off, joining the waste in the bin below. After tossing the plate into the sink, he made his way back out into the main lobby. Just like Rarity said, she was already working on reorganizing the books, numerous floating around her as she placed them back into their respective shelves. Spike’s mouth curled up into a small smile as he watched her work. At this point, though, he had no idea if it was genuine or if he was simply trying to put on a happy mask. It was just a smile, no more, no less. “Ah, so you were hungry after all?” Rarity playfully asked when she laid eyes on the dragon. Spike stretched out his arms as he approached one of the many bookshelves lining the library walls. “My stomach thought so, I guess.” A short giggle escaped Rarity’s lips. “See? Just like I said, darling. Bottomless pit. Even you don’t know your own limits anymore.” “Yeah,” Spike muttered. “I guess not.” Sighing, Spike looked up the bookshelf before him. Just by scanning his eyes across it, he could tell that they were all out of order again. School foals were like miniature hurricanes when they needed to gather research material. Off to his side, he heard Rarity scoff. “Spike, let me ask you a question. It’s something that I quite don’t understand yet.” It was a simple enough request, yet it somehow managed to send a jolt of panic up Spike’s spine all the same. “Uh, y-yeah?” “I understand that they’re young, but surely it isn’t too difficult for foals to place these books back where they found them. Honestly, the number that I’ve found on the floor is simply appalling. Twilight would blow a gasket if she saw the library in such a state.” Rarity couldn’t see it, but Spike’s mouth twisted back into a frown, his eyes falling to the ground. “Yeah, I’m… I’m sure she would.” “Actually, how has she been doing lately?” And just like that, Spike’s eyes shot back up to Rarity. She, however, still kept her eyes focused on her work. “Huh?” Spike dumbly uttered. “You never did tell me how your talk with her went.” Finally, Rarity brought her gaze down to Spike, a hint of worry behind her eyes. “She is okay, right?” Spike’s face twisted into a slight grimace as he thought back to Twilight, to the things she’d said. Her warnings. He quickly shook them from his mind, putting on another happy face. “Uh, yeah, she’s fine,” he said, only stating a half-truth. “We just did some, uh… some catching up, is all.” Despite his attempt at a casual attitude, the worry in Rarity’s eyes had yet to go away. “Are you certain? She didn’t seem very happy when she saw me.” The wide, dumb grin on Spike’s face only grew wider and dumber as he scratched the back of his head. “I-I mean, yeah, she’s been a bit stressed out by all of her royal duties, but, uh, she’s doing great. Really.” Rarity’s face softened from that concerned gaze, resting into something stoic and unreadable. It was a face she had gotten into the habit of wearing whenever she thought of what to say next. Still, Spike knew for a fact that her concern wasn’t completely gone. “I… see,” she finally said. “Well, perhaps we should spend more time with her the next time she visits.” Again, Spike’s face fell into that pained frown as he looked back up at the bookcase. “Yeah. Next time,” he muttered. If there was anything else that Rarity wanted to say, then it’d have to wait. A sudden knock at the door grabbed the attention of both of them. Immediately, the unicorn’s face lit up. “Ah, it seems our customers are finally arriving.” After placing the last of her books in their respective places, she trotted up to the door, pulling it open to greet the new visitor as well as the new day. While she was busy meeting and greeting, Spike took the moment to just look at her. As in, really look at her. As bothersome as that niggling worry was, he couldn’t deny that there wasn’t a single detail about her that was out of place. An immaculate coat, a brilliantly shining mane and tail, plucked eyelashes, and mannerisms that brought a sense of formality to even the rowdiest of locales. She was, for all intents and purposes, Rarity. She was perfect. Perhaps that was the problem. “Spike? Spike!” Spike immediately snapped out of it, looking down at his marefriend. “Uh, yeah? What do ya need?” “I need you to check downstairs to see if you can find a copy of Magical Algorithms for Foals. I can’t seem to find one up here.” Spike quickly turned his attention towards the stallion waiting by the front door, nervously smiling at the dragon. A slight frown cracked onto Spike’s face as he noted the pony’s unease, but he didn’t let it bother him too much. “Yeah. Yeah, sure. I’ll be back in a minute.” As he turned towards the basement door, he shoved all of those worrying thoughts back into the recesses of his mind. He wasn’t doing himself or Rarity any favors by letting them distract him all of the time. In spite of his worries, in spite of everything Twilight told him, he was confident that everything would work out in due time. He’d do whatever he needed to in order to ensure that.