//------------------------------//
// ...And Puppy Dog Tails 
// Story: Purple Guardian 
// by DragonPony 
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Chapter 6
...And Puppy Dog Tails

Peewee and I decided we will go to Sweet Apple Acres to see if the CMC are there so we can show them the new me. Figured I would get the three terrors out of the way so they don’t decided to attack me in the middle of town thinking I am some kind of monster dog. We were cutting through the park to get to the Apple’s home when we heard a lot of noise coming from the middle of the park.

When we arrived he saw many of the filly and colts from the school and their teacher Miss. Cheerilee practicing some dance routine.  As I walk past them I see Snips and Snails sitting on a bench watching them preform.

“Hey Peewee.” I call out to the little phoenix lying down on my back.

“Yea bro, what’s going on?” He asks me not getting up from his comfy stop.

“Nothing but can I get a minute I need to talk to some friends real quick?” I ask him as I keep walking towards the guys.

“Sure just call when you’re done.” And just like the Peewee took off to the trees overlooking the fountain.

I walk up behind them on the bench. They are staring very intensely at their class as they practice their dance with Cheerilee leading the performance. There was indeed a lot of flank shacking and fancy footwork being done by them all.

“Hey guys. What is going on here?” I ask them as I lean up on the back of the bench. I was suspecting them to turn around and be startled by the sight of talking dog behind them. Hey didn’t turn around at all though, there eyes never left the group dancing.

“Hey Spike. Our class is putting on a performance in a few weeks and they have to get down their dance.” Snips says while his eyes bounced back and forth following the performers.

“Okay, but then why are you two not over there dancing like it is Boogey Fever as well.” I state almost shocked that they haven’t turned around and looked at me yet. Man these two have no manners.

“We got put in as stage hands so we are just really helping with the behind the scenes stuff, not the on stage performance.” Snail tells me with a grin on his face. I first thought the grin was from them not having to be on stage. But then I looked at the dancers and as they are shacking their flanks back and forth. That was when it all came together for me. My eyes narrowed and I got the kind of grin a fellow bro could get on their face.

“So… Who are you watching?” I ask as I find a target for my eyes as my lips part to the corners of my face.

“Twist” Snips says as his head bounces up and down.

“SilverSpoon” Snail tells me as he licks his lips. No need to guess what is on his mind.

Needless to say those are interesting choices. I look over at Twist as she dances. She is not the best dancer out there that is for sure but I do agree there could be something there. Twist has a nice figure. Only minor cosmetic things distract from her possible cuteness. When I look at her my time with Rarity kicks in and I start to fix up the little things that could make her very attractive. You know give her some contacts, do something with her hair, some would say speech lessons, but I find that part of her charm. I would classify her as a diamond in the rough.  

My vision then shifts to Silverspoon. She was indeed a better dancer then Twist but she kept stumbling trying to keep up with the little pink manure ball that is Diamond Tierra. I give her the once over as well. She also as a pretty nice when it comes to the body department. There is always an allure of a mare with glasses, and with the braid she pulls off the look well. Spoon does have a nice smile. I didn’t know flank kissing could be so great for ones teeth. I might have to tell Colgate to start informing her clients on the positive effects. If she would dump her baggage I am sure many more colts would approach her.

“Yea I guess I could see that. I have to admit you guys at least have pretty good taste in fillies.” I say as all three of us tilt our heads to the side as they do this new dance that just came out called “Twerking.”

That was a sight indeed. So much so it made us all lean to the right and in unison say
“DDAAAMMMNNN!!!!”

After we regain or composer, and I see Snails cross his legs, they decided to bring me into bring me in on the discussion.

“So Spike… Who catches your eye?” Snips ask me as he gets a smug grin. I can only think he is planning on picking at my chose and trying to find flaws in her.

Now normally when there are any mares around I do my best to be a gentledrake…dog whatever. But right now there are no mares in earshot and I can for once really say what I think. Hey, you try being one of the only guys in a society that is mostly mares. It might sound great but one slip up and word travels fast. You will end up on their black list before the day is out. It made me think of Welch Jelly.  He got caught cheating on a mare and ended up on the black list. Now the only thing he can get any action from is his own jams… needless to say that affected his sales greatly.

“I am liking Cheerilee” I say and for some reason when I look at her as she dances with her class I let out a small growl. Funny how it is different than being a dragon, when I was a dragon I would start to give off heat to the point I would make those around me sweat.
Both Snips and Snails tip their heads slightly to the side as if confused my chose. They then just shrug and go back at look at their respective eye candies. But knowing those two that won’t be the end of it and they will have more to say.

“Really? Why would you like Miss. C?” Snip asked while his head bobs up and down in tune with Twist jumping to the beat.

I give a shrug they can’t see since they aren’t looking at me, still, by the way. I swear if I was an assassin I could steal money out of their front pockets then kill them before they even notice what is going on.

“What is not to like, she has a cute face, nice mane, great figure and do you see that flank,” as I make that statement she then shook left to right almost making me cross eyed following it. “You could bounce a bit off of it and wait for it to land then watch it ride on that booty as it still shakes.” What can I say I have always been a flank man; it was one of the things that drew me to Rarity. That flank is like two overstuffed pillows being pushed together, just want to get a claw… guess now it would be a paw full.

“Well yea she is not that bad for an older mare.” Snail says not really sounding like he is convinced of that himself.

“What do you mean? She's not that old.” I say trying to protect the honor of the mare I am ogling like she is the gem of the day.

“What do you mean Spike we are only 14, she is way too old for you.” Snip say like it is a fact.  That is when I realize they thought I was the same age as them. Oh this is going to be fun.

“Sorry to burst your bubble guys but I am not 14, I am really 18.” I say with a shit eating grin on my face. I am suspecting them to turn around to face me shocked but to my surprised they didn’t. I will give it to them when they really want to focus on something it will take an Ursa Major to pry them away.

“What!” They both shout in unison. The shock of my true age must have really taken them by surprise.

There shout though drew the attention of Miss. Cheerilee and she started to look our way to see what that noise was. This caused a slight panic in the two boys sitting on the bench. I see Snips reach from behind him and pull out a black hat with 2 white strips going down it.

“Here Spike put this on!” Snip tells me as he reaches behind him with the hat, still refusing to turn around.

“Why would I put that thing on?” I ask him wondering why he even has it in the first place.

“Everyone knows mares like a guy that wear hats. It shows he has fashion sense now put it on.” He pushes the hat in my face.

I figure I might as well humor him so I take the hat in my claw in my paws and put it on my head. We look over to see her looking at us. One can only imagine how stupid we must look, two slack jawed colts trying not to stare at some fillies and a huge purple dog wearing a hate. I wasn’t surprised at all when Cheerilee started to laugh in her hoof at the comical sight in front of her.
Once he turned back around to the rest of her students I pulled the hat off my head and threw it down on the ground. I have to remember those two owe me a gem, a big one I can eat like a jaw breaker.

“Huh thought that would work. Oh well but Spike why didn’t you tell us you were so old. You could have been buying us Playcolts this whole time!” Snails said sounding slightly upset by the fact I couldn’t be their porn trafficker.

“Well first that hat was a dumb idea. I can’t go giving you Playcolt, I could get arrested for giving that to minors. And I didn’t tell you because it didn’t seem like it mattered. Why would you think I was your age in the first place?” I ask genuinely wondering how they came up with the idea I was a 14 year old.

“Well because of your size and the fact you talk to us.” Snail says as he places his hoof to his chin like he was deep in though. I really doubt how deep his thinking was considering he hasn’t broken eye contact with SilverSpoon’s flank in the past 3 minutes.

“Guys I am a dragon. 18 year I am still in my infancy but we don’t age the same way you ponies do. We can walk and talk in a few months of being hatched, and besides Twilight hatched me when she was 4 she is 22 now.” I say while rubbing my temples, I started to think how many other people in this town must be thinking I am some cute baby running around.

“Okay, okay we get it.” Snip says as he lifts his arms in surrender.

“Alright guys I have to go, catch you two later.” I tell them as I start to walk off towards the fountain to pick up Peewee and be on our way.

“Alright see you later Spike.” Snip says as he wave at me still not looking away from the fillies working up a sweat in front of them.

“Yea talk to later.” Snails give me a quick nod and re-gluing his eyes back to all the bouncing flanks in front of them.

I walk off shaking my head thinking that if those two don’t learn the art of rubberneck then they will end up on the blacklist. If that happens they might just end up an item themselves. The very thought send shivers up my spin.

Once I reach the fountain I look around for Peewee. I spot him sitting up in a tree seems to be talking to a few robins and a blue jay. Now I may be new to being a part of the animal kingdom on this level but even I could tell the blue jay clearly has a thing for my little brother. I was happy to see him being able to have the girls flock to him like that. Even if it did bug me that he is having better luck with the girls then his older brother. And now that I am a dog I don’t see my luck getting any better.

Once Peewee sees me waiting for him he waves at his friends and lands back on my head. We start to walk off towards the CMC tree house but I had to ask him about his little buddies up there.

“So who were you talking to up there Wee, some friends of yours?” I ask like it is no big deal.

“Oh they were just some birds I met as I was waiting for you to have your talk.” He tells me as he start to do some straightening on his wing feathers.

“I see, it looked like to me that the blue jay had a thing for you Wee, thinking about going for it?” I was genuinely curious if he was interested in dating at all at his age.

“Naw, I mean don’t get me wrong she was cute. Had some great tail feathers but I have always had a thing for older birds. It is just something about a girl that can teach you a thing or two.” He tells me as I just know he is giving me the trademark ‘bro’ grin.

It is surprising me more and more how much of me seems to have rubbed off on Peewee. He even shares similar taste in the opposite sex. I am starting to wonder if he is more like a son to me than a brother. But that doesn’t really matter it is just nice to see him happy and enjoying life.

As we started to walk towards the tree house we started to hear faint screaming in the distance. I stop moving and started to focus on where the sound was coming from.  I slowed my breathing to as shallow as possible as I closed my eyes and put all my attention to my hearing. I felt my ears twitch at every sound around me from the wind blowing through the trees to the sound of the crickets chirping signaling the fall of dusk.

Then I finally heard it again, a faint cry for help in the direction of the Everfree forest. I took off in a sprint throwing Peewee off my back with the sudden sprint. He flew up to catch up to me with a confused look on his face.

“Bro what's going on? Why did you just take off like that?” He looked confused onto why we were going moving like my tail was on fire.

“I heard somepony crying for help near the Everfree. We have to go see what is going and see if we can help!” I shout at him as I try to go even faster hoping I can make it in time.

“Peewee I want you to fly up ahead and see if you can spot who needs help once you do signal to me so I can be there as fast as I can.” I instruct him hoping the air support will make finding the pony that much easier.

“You got it bro just keep an eye out for my beacon!” Peewee shouted just before he took off higher into the sky to try to spot who is in distress. Man this is not how I planned to spend my first day back home.