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Wishing it was a Dream
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Alex yawned and stretched out his arms, but didn’t dare open his eyes. The sun was shining in his room, and he didn’t want anything to do with that horrible morning sunshine. So, he stretched, stuck his arms under the pillow, and focused on getting a few more minutes of sleep before his mother came in to wake him up…
Wait.
His mother.
Didn’t she…?
Had it all been a dream? Were his parents actually fine? He couldn’t remember falling asleep that night, but at the same time, the pit in his stomach told him that it hadn’t been a dream. And the more and more he recalled, the more worried he got.
Opening his eyes, he prayed he'd see his bedroom, and a happy day waiting to greet him. Out of anything in this world, that was all he wanted.
He was going to open his eyes, and see exactly what he wanted to see!
In five…
Four…
Three…
Two…
One…
Now, what met him on the other side of his eyelids was not what he expected to see, to say the least.
At first, the two possibilities had been, ‘It had all been a dream, and his life would continue happily,’ or, ‘It hadn’t been a dream, and his parents were still gone.’
But, life always has a way of throwing you a wild card like: ‘You wake up, and everything looks like a cartoon.’
At this point, Alex started to consider the possibility that this was simply nothing more than a dream itself. Maybe that was why his head was so wonky. You can never remember things the right way in a dream! That's why he was so messed up in the head right now!
“That makes so much more sense!” Alex laughed to himself, sitting up from the bed, determined to enjoy his first ever lucid dream, “What’s up with my arms?”
Lifting his hands to his face, he quickly realized that he didn’t have hands at all. After a few seconds, he came to the realization that they were hooves. He had hooves? What kind of dream was he having?
Looking around the room, he quietly appreciated the style this house had been built in. Everything was made out of wood. The walls, the ceiling, the floor. In fact, it looked like this entire room was inside of a hollowed out tree! How fascinating.
Looking to his left, at some reflecting light, he noticed a mirror standing behind a large bed sheet, that only barely hung on to the reflective surface.
“Well, I’d better go see how I look right now!” He said happily, setting his back legs on the ground, as he attempted to stand up and walk forward, however, it simply wasn’t with him, and he fell down, shaking the foundation of the house with his hard smack.
“Ow…” Alex mumbled, as he watched the sheet fall from its place in front of the mirror, and down to the floor, “Jesus, is that how I look?”
In the reflection, Alex was met with the face of a horse, which, wasn’t entirely unexpected. However, it wasn’t quite detailed right.
Even though his best artistic ability was stick figures, he knew that a horse’s face would look a little different from how it was presented to him right now. His head was much shorter than the usual long face a pony was known for. And his nose curved away from the rest of his face, which again, was unlike a horse. And finally, his neck fell straight down from his head, to connect to his body. Usually, the neck pulled backward to reach the rest of the body.
It was almost as if he were eighty percent horse, but twenty percent human.
Aside from those observations, he took a closer look at his body in the reflection, and noted a few of his dominant traits.
He had short black hair, his same dark blue eyes— But as a horse, he had a white coat with a large grey spot encompassing his right wing. Also, to top everything else off, he had a horn, and a pair of wings.
“Both?” He mumbled, knocking his hoof against the point on his head, “Why not just one? What does that make me? A Pega-corn? A Uni-sus? Geez… Who comes up with this garbage?”
Shaking his head, he decided that he was thinking too much about this, and decided to move on with whatever was coming next in this dream of his…
“I could really use a girl in here!” Alex said getting back to the bed by moving his body with his front hooves, while his hind legs dragged behind him, as if they weren't usable.
“I’ll see if he’s awake, Twi,” A voice said, just as Alex made his way back into the bed.
The door to the room opened, and in walked a cyan blue mare, with a pair of wings, and a rainbow mane. This must be the sexy part of his dream! But, something was giving him pause.
Hmm... A pony?
“Do you have to be a horse?” Alex asked, before she was able to open her mouth to greet him, “I mean, I’m for whatever! But, you know, I’d feel a little creepy banging a pony in real life, or a dream, you know?”
“Excuse me?” She asked, her voice cracking in surprise at his forwardness.
“Oh, no, that voice won’t do at all either.” Alex shook his head, thinking of the perfect voice for her to have since, well, this was all a dream, “You sound too man-ish. And if you HAVE to be a horse, I guess you could slim down the rump a tiny bit. Maybe get yourself a bigger chest as well— Hey! Your face turns red too! I like that!”
Indeed it had. The face on the mare had gone from relaxed, and quite happy looking. To what Alex assumed was more of an angry-aroused tone. Again, not his favorite, but he could live with it!
“This is your dream, huh?” The mare asked, taking a few steps toward him, puffing out her chest slightly, “And while I’d love to climb in that bed, and just go crazy with you… there’s one problem.”
Alex knew. This was his dream, after all.
“You’re a lesbi—”
”This isn’t a dream!” The mare bellowed, slapping him hard across the face, before turning, and storming out of the room.
Alex felt his heart start to race. That hurt.
You weren’t supposed to get hurt in dreams.
Pushing himself backward in the bed, he felt his heart start to race much faster than it ever had. All of his senses were lying to him right now, for this to be what he was actually seeing.
His parents had died… and he must have gone insane. Gone to the world of colorful ponies in his head!
“Oh god, why couldn’t I have gone to a different cartoon? Or maybe gone to some crazy-land that wasn’t a cartoon?
“Why couldn’t I be in a Batman movie or something?” Alex whimpered, blinking several times in hopes of seeing the world come back into regular focus, “Then I could hang out with the actor who played the best of the Batmen... George Clooney.”
Laughing for a second to himself, Alex relaxed for a moment in his self-proclaimed amazing comedic abilities. He was just so damn funny sometimes.
Alex turned his attention back to the door, as he hear someone else approaching him.
“Um, hey!” A voice called from the door, as a purple pony stuck her head through the door, being careful not to upset the obviously horrified person, “You’re not dreaming, by the way.”
Alex looked at her uncomfortably.
“What?” She asked, trying to see if there was anything stuck to her face, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”
Alex wasn’t sure if he should respond.
If he was tied up in some mental institution somewhere, they’d never let him go if he was talking to ponies. So, silence was the option chosen.
“Are you okay?” She asked, suddenly much more concerned for him, “You hit your head pretty hard back there.”
Alex pursed his lips.
“Uhh… Well, my name is Twilight Sparkle!” said nervously, looking at him hopefully, before accepting that he might need a little bit of time to clear his head, “So… let me know if you’re feeling better. We just had some food delivered.”
Alex perked up. It may have surprised many people to know this, but he loved food. It was so flipping good. And he was starving!
“Could you… bring me some?” Alex asked quietly, perking up the purple mare, “I’m Alex, by the way.”
“Sure!” She beamed, happy to get a response out of him, “I’ll be right back!”
Watching her out the door, Alex realized just how happy he was that she brought up the subject of food. Without that, he would have hidden in this room all day, until he either starved to death, or grew a pair. He couldn’t say which would have happened first.
Quickly returning with some hay sitting on a plate, she dropped it on the bed side table for him.
“Is that enough?” She asked, thinking it to be a perfect portion size, as she fluffed it with a spell.
“How was that food flying?” Alex asked, looking for some kind of string it all could have been attached to.
“Magic, of course,” Twilight said matter-of-factly, “What kind of spells do you know?”
“Oh, none,” Alex shook his head, confident that lying about it would be a bad thing to do, especially because she was talking about fricking magic.
“More of a flyer?” Twilight asked casually, happy that he was opening up so much, “I was surprised to see you had both!”
“Not actually able to fly,” Alex answered, laughing nervously, “Anyway! Just what is this food?”
“What is it?” Twilight asked, scrunching her nose at his confusion over the staple food in a pony’s diet, “Its hay!”
“I don’t want to be sound rude,” Alex began, looking at the hay and gulping audibly, “But I’m- allergic.”
“Oh! I’m so sorry!” Twilight apologized, levitating the food away from him a bit too fast, causing a piece of hay to land on his nose, “Oh no! I’ll get it!”
Forgetting about the plate, she refocused her spell to lift the hay from his nose. But, this left the plate to shatter on the floor.
Twilight fell back on her rump, beet red with embarrassment.
“I’m usually better at magic than this…” She said, looking up to him apologetically.
Alex cracked a smile.
Twilight perked up again at the sight of his happiness, “Oh good, you can actually do that!”
“I can smile,” Alex nodded, as he once again ran his situation through his mind, “But when I’m done explaining myself to you and your rainbow friend, you might wish I’d stayed quiet.”
“Well, before we wish anything, what can I get you to eat?” Twilight asked politely, “I think I could dig up something for you.”
“Maybe a ham sandwich?” Alex asked hopefully, craving one like crazy.
“Ham?” Twilight asked, tilting her head, “I don’t think I know what that is.”
Oh no…
“Are ponies omnivores by any chance?” Alex asked hopefully, realizing that he might be in a world without his favorite thing. Bacon.
“Goodness no!” Twilight said, shocked that he would ask such a question, as if he knew nothing about ponies, “We’re strict herbivores. Why would you ask such a thing?”
Alex was feeling the situation through, and wasn’t sure if he should lie, or tell the truth.
“What would you say, if I told you I wasn’t a pony?”
“Uh…” Twilight said, looking out the door to see her friend, Applejack standing just outside, giving her a ‘coo-coo’ gesture by circling her ear with her hoof.
“He’s crazy!” Pinkie Pie whispered a little too loudly, giggling inappropriately.
“Look, I’m not crazy! I’m not from around here! I’m- I’m a human! Not a fricking horse!” Alex started to ramble out, as he made Twilight more and more nervous, “I can’t even walk! I don’t know how to do this whole four-leg thing! I just fell flat on my face last time I tried!”
His attitude flipped in an instant, as he went from fairly calm, and collected, to almost out of his mind.
“Maybe you hit your head a little harder than we—“
“I’m not crazy!” Alex shouted suddenly, only worsening his case, as he felt a tear form in his eye.
“Are you two alright?” A white pony asked, asking into the room, before seeing Alex in the bed and smiling to him, “Oh, my thanks for helping us deal with that simply horrible Nightmare!”
“I- I have no idea what… what the hell is this place?!” Alex shouted, his composure now completely gone, “I need to go home!”
“Alex, please calm down!” Twilight said, raising her voice to a point she hoped he’d be able to wrap his head around.
“I’m- I- I know…” Alex exhaled, his expression just showing how horribly he was feeling, “I’m going out of my mind right now.”
“Is everythin’ alright in here?” An orange pony asked, entering the room, “Ah’m hearin’ a whole lotta yellin’.”
“You sound like Hannah Montana,” Alex sighed, dropping his head back on to the pillow.
“Uh, thanks?” Applejack said, having absolutely no idea if she should feel complemented, “Name’s Applejack, by the way.”
“Well then, do you have any apples on you by any chance?” Alex asked, willing to eat anything aside from hay right now.
“Sure do!” Applejack beamed, pulling an apple out of her saddlebag by the stem, and tossing it next to him on the bed, “Go tuh town!”
Rolling over to where the apple had landed, Alex reached out to pick it up, only to feel it bounce off his hoof, when he tried to wrap his fingers around it.
“Okay… Let’s pretend I’m not crazy,” Alex said to the three girls in the room with him, “How would I go about eating this thing?”
“Jus’ use yer’ mouth!” Applejack said, acting as normally as she could, considering how insane he sounded, “Like this!”
Reaching into her bag with her mouth, she tossed the apple into the air, just to have it fall back down in to her mouth, where she ate the entire thing in a single bite.
“No offense to you guys,” Alex sighed, “But I'm really hoping this is still a dream.”
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