The Pie of my Eye

by Azure_Shadow


My Little Pick Up Artists Part 3: The Homefront

Applejack was walking down a long dirt road that cut through the luscious green fields that were on the outskirts of Canterlot. She was trecking her normal route back to her house after a long day of school. She ignored the green fields and cloudless blue sky today, as she was in no mood for anything today. The cowgirl huffed as she attempted to push the memories of the school day to the back of her mind. She had just spent the last hour and a half in review for her chemistry class, as per her teacher Mr. Beaker's recommendation due to her grades in that class being "Less than satisfactory" as he put it.

"Less than satisfactory mah ass." Applejack grumbled as she spat into the dirt. "Chemistry's a load of horse-pucky. When am ah ever gonna need to find the- " she said as she continued down the road to her home. She didn't have to walk long, as the farm she lived on with her siblings and their grandmother slowly came into view. It was a relatively large farm with a few acres of land filled with apple trees, a two story butterscotch yellow painted farmhouse with a dark green roof and shudders, which was right besides a large rustic looking barn, all corralled by a wooden fence that stretched around the perimeter of the Apple family's property. Applejack came up to the main gate of the farm when suddenly, She heard what sounded like thunder approaching, followed immediately by a small tremor of the Earth.

"What the hay!?" Applejack shouted as she quickly grabbed ahold of the nearest fence post and firmly planted her feet on the ground. The ground continued to shake for a few more seconds before it slowly subsided. Applejack clung to the post for a few more moments in case of an aftershock, but after five minutes of silence, she decided to continue on her way home. She walked up onto the wood patio of the house and entered the house through the front door. From the entryway, Applejack glanced to her right to look into the living room. The sole occupant of the room was her grandmother Granny Smith, a short older woman who looked after her grand kids at the farm. She was sitting in a swivel chair with her back facing Applejack as she was typing away on the desktop that was in the room. Applejack was still astounded by how quickly Granny Smith had adapted to using a computer. In the two years since they got that desktop, Granny Smith took to it like a horse to water, easily becoming the most computer savy Apple in the house aside from possibly Applebloom. Applejack thought Granny must've been on a social network site with some of the other Apples planning the next Apple Family Reunion as they did around this time of year. She decided to leave Granny Smith be as she continued forward through the entryway to the staircase that led to the second floor. The old wooden floor creaked with each step she took, and as she climbed up the first step of the stairway, she heard the swivel chair Granny was sitting in.....well.....swivel.

"Now hold it right there young lady!" a stern old voice called out to her. Applejack turned her head back to Granny Smith, who was now facing her with a "none too pleased" look on her face.

"U-Uhh...H-Howdy Granny! What can ah do ya fer?" asked Applejack as she gave her grandmother a sheepish grin.

Granny Smith raised her right hand and wagged her finger for Applejack to come closer to her. Applejack sighed as she came down the stairway and entered the living room. She set her book bag on an dusty, unoccupied leather armchair and then sat on the dustier green couch right next to Granny. She slouched back into the couch cushions as she tried focusing her gaze on anything other than her grandmother, who's stare she could feel beating down on her. Eventually, she slowly raised her eyes up to meet Granny's eyes, she felt like a child who got caught breaking a pricy vase owned by her parents as Granny Smith continued to remain mute. The silence was killing AJ, and was silently hoping that Granny Smith would either remain mute and forget about what she wanted to talk to her about, or that Granny would just talk to her to get it over with. She just wanted to go up to her room, and forget about her day. After about another minute of deadly silence, Granny Smith cleared her throat before speaking.

"So Applejack, today ah got a message on the interweb that said some stuff about ya that ah found mighty interestin'."

"gulp!.....umm.....really? What kinda things Granny?" Applejack asked in a nervous tone.

"Well, someone told me that fer some reason, you've been gettin' yer panties in a bunch about not wanting to go to some girl's choice shindig, is that true Applejack?" Granny asked as she raised her eyebrow at her granddaughter.

"Well.....ah.....y-yeah Granny. Ah guess that's true." Applejack weakly responded.

"Hmm......alrighty, why were ya so upset about it? Is somethin' going on at school? Do ah need Big Mac to hurt some feller?"

"N-No Granny!"

"Do ah need to hurt some feller?" Granny asked as she punched the palm of her hand.

"No ma'am! Ya'll don't need to hurt anyone! Nothin's going on at school, nothin' at all!" Applejack replied in a frightened tone, not wanting to bring about the wrath of Granny Smith.

"Then what's all the fuss about goin' to this dance?" Granny inquired.

Applejack didn't answer as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. At this point Applejack was as easy for Granny Smith to read as the family recipe for Apple pie. "Would this have somethin' to do with askin' out a boy?" she asked plainly.

"W-Well.....Granny, ah......uhh....umm...w-well." Applejack fumbled with her words as she went on trying to explain herself to Granny.

"Would this have somethin' to do with askin' a giiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrl?" Granny Smith joked as she raised an eyebrow at her granddaughter and gave her a sly grin. This made the uncomfortable Applejack morph into the flustered Applejack, as her emerald green eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as she faced her grandmother.

"G-G-Granny! I don't....I.....MAH BARN DOOR DON'T SWING THAT WAY!!" The young cowgirl suddenly blurted out. Granny Smith gave a slight chuckle as she nodded her head.

"Well AJ, this dance is girl's choice right? Y'all get yer pick of anyone you want! And high school is the prime time to discover yerself, right behind college of course. Believe me, ah did mah fair share of experimentin' when ah was yer age." Granny Smith explained as Applejack just stayed motionless in shock at what she was hearing from her grandmother. "Ah think ya should go to this shindig either way, the way Rainbow Dash out it in her message, it sounds like it'll be a hoot and a half!" Granny exclaimed.

Rainbow Dash....send in' that message is definitially somethin' she'd pull. Applejack thought to herself.

"I'll think about it Granny." Applejack promised, hoping it would be enough to allow her to escape back to the safety of her room.

"Well ah wish people back then weren't as high strung as they were. Back then a girl likin' a girl like that or takin' them to a dance would land ya in some real hot water with yer peers."

Applejack's eyes grew even wider as she realized what was going to come. She thought to herself Oh pluck no as Granny Smith continued with her story.

"Ah still remember it like it was yesterday. Back before ah met yer grand pappy, ah was seein' a tight little thang named Sweet Delight, and oh what a delight she was!" Granny told Applejack with great enthusiasm. Applejack grabbed onto her Stetson as she tried to pull it down to cover her entire head in feutility as Granny continued. "We couldn't go to the school dace cause of obvious reasons, so we decided to have our own fun! Ah remember takin' her and her sweet rear back to the barn and throwin' her onto a pile o' hay, she was a bit nervous at first, but ah assured her ah knew what ah was doin' and we wrestled around in the hay a bit, kiss in' and squealin' an-" Granny was cut off by Applejack standing up abruptly.

"Alright, Alright! Ah'll go to the dance! Ah'll go! Anythin' else Granny?" she asked in desperation, to which Granny smiled.

"Yeah, go an study yer chemistry, your last grade was horsepuck!"

Applejack nodded and gave Granny a quick thanks as she bolted across the room, grabbing her bookbag and running up the stairs to her room, almost knocking down her little red haired sister Applebloom down in the process as she too was using the stairs. She looked at her fleeing sister and turned to her grandmother.

"Uhh...Granny Smith, what's up with AJ?"

"Aww she's just freakin' out cause ah was telling her about the time ah took mah girl friend back in the barn and-"

"Oh ah just remembered! Ah gotta.....gotta...do the dishes! Yeah that's it! Gotta get em' done!" Applebloom said as she ran over to the doorway that connected to the kitchen that was across from the room Granny was sitting in, almost bowling into a muscular young man wearing work jeans and a red plaid shirt. She looked up at the young man before running past him. "Big Mac! Granny Smith is talkin' about her sexcapades again!" She shouted as the sound of rushing water was soon heard coming from the kitchen.

The young man named Big Mac's eyes widened as he maintained eye contact with the old woman sitting across from him for several seconds before letting out a cry of "NNNNNNNNNNOPE!" before bursting through the screen door that led outside the house. With the room she was in barren of people save for her, Granny Smith chuckled to herself.

"Works every time!