//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3 
// Story: Aurora Song 
// by MasterZadok 
//------------------------------//

Black Spot growled to himself,
“Scout the town. He said. Don’t draw attention to yourself. He said. Get in, gather as much information as you can and then vanish before anyone notices you. He said.” The first mate’s eyes swept disdainfully over the scene before him.
“I don’t think our dear captain knew much about this town.”
Ponyville was sparkling with activity. The cobblestone streets were filled with candy-colored ponies, all wearing smiles and greeting each other cheerfully. They carried baskets of groceries from the market, or played outdoor games, or chatted with their neighbors. They greeted one another from the windows of their humble cottages and helped one another in the tiny gardens they took so much pride in. It was awful.
Black Spot and the other two crewmembers that flanked him stuck out like a sore thumb. Or, in this case, a dark cloud on a sunny day. Aside from the first mate and the captain, Lilly Liver and Yeller Belly were the only other crewmembers of the Aurora Song. Each and every one of them looked at their bright pastel surroundings with disgust.
“I hate our mission already.” Lilly Liver spat. “If the captain orders me to wear cake frosting as a disguise, I promise you I’ll quit my job!” Her own hide, a dark purple, shivered as a radiant blue unicorn brushed past her.
“MmHmm…” Yeller Belly grunted in agreement. If there was ever a pegasus that should have been born an Earth pony, it was Yeller. His size and muscular viridian limbs made him look like a whale when he flew, but the Aurora needed muscle like his. Right now, he was trying to hide from the citizens of Ponyville under a brown cloak, but being head and shoulders taller than everyone else on the street was sure to attract attention.
“Be quiet and keep walking.” Black Spot hissed.  “Remember, act natural.” He said the word, but in this world of Easter hues and rainbows, he didn’t know what normal was supposed to look like. In the north land that his crew used to haunt, everyone wore a cloak or a hat to hide their piercing eyes and everyone tucked a blade or two behind their hoof. Here, the residents looked strangely naked under the bright white sun.
“I should be happy.” The first mate commented. “They’re all a bunch of complacent fools. I bet they sleep with their doors unlocked and drink milk for dinner.”
Lilly snorted,
“But?”
“But instead of filling my mind with all their weaknesses and how easily we’ll be able to finish this job, I can’t shake a feeling of…”
“Bleah!” Yeller coughed.
“Exactly!” Black Spot stamped a hoof. “This is the town we’ve heard so much about? This is the legendary Ponyville? This little hamlet is full of nothing but smiles and ponies without a care in the world. Yet this was the home of the Elements of Harmony! You’d think that after Nightmare Moon threatened to overthrow Celestia and establish her dark regime they would at least take some precautions for their safety.”
The first mate watched as a unicorn wasted her vast amounts of magical potential in order to pluck and sniff a nearby flower.
“But no...”
“Can’t you just enjoy yourself?” Lilly cooed. “This is a plush job and afterwards, we never have to look at these plump little faces again.”
“I would have liked not having to see them in the first place.” Black’s voice rumbled like a storm. “Were this up to me, we would have reduced half this town to rubble by now, taken what we needed and vanished like a breath on the wind.” The trio walked quietly for a while.
“The captain has never let us down...” Lilly cautiously spoke up. “He has proven to be a master strategist up until now and if he thinks there would be a danger or a glitch in a gun-and-run operation then it’s not our place to question his orders.”
Although he didn’t raise his head, Black Spot shot a warning look at his crew-lady from the corner of his eye. He released the frustration building within him with a sigh and reviewed the plan,
“Very well. Let’s not stay here any longer than we must. Our orders are simple; gain any and all information on the layout of the town with a focus on how best to seize its produce and monetary currency. Specifically, look for foods that will restock our travel rations and gems that these unicorn types are so fond of. Also…” Black Spot let his voice drop, “find out all you can about the whereabouts and habits of the Wielders, the Elements of Harmony, and/ or the entity known as Discord.”
“Aye, aye, sir!” Lilly tossed her mane smartly.
“Hmm.” Yeller agreed.
“Then let’s split up. Lilly, I saw an apple farm to the southwest of the town. Let’s meet there and see how their harvest is coming along. And Yeller…” Black Spot huffed angrily, “Try not to look like an ursa major.”
Yeller shrugged. With that, each pegasus began walking in their own direction. Hopefully, they looked less like a mob and more like tourists.
Black Spot trotted down his path with a little more speed than was normal. Everything set him on edge. This town, with its gaudy unicorns and mud-sucking earth ponies was bad enough, but they were living side-by-side! It just wasn’t natural. Where Black came from, nopony stooped to give another species the time of day. It was too good for these filthy earth-dwellers that Black Spot even consented to walk on their silly roads.
He shook his head. He shouldn’t be getting so worked up about this. They were all beneath him; pegasi were the superior species after all. Physically, mentally, technologically, nothing could match the proud history and military strength of the pegasi. This thought brought Black Spot a little bit of comfort. At least now he could walk with his head high as if he were simply walking over a town of ants.
However, one ant popped up right in his path. An ant with bright blue eyes and an alarmingly pink coat.
“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie and I want to be your best friend! How are you doing, best buddy?” The ambush happened so suddenly, that Black Spot had to skid on his hooves to avoid crashing into the earth pony.
“Augh!” He couldn’t help releasing a little cry of surprise.
“Augh! Yourself, but you didn’t answer my question.” The mare gave a little squeaking sound as she flashed a massive smile.
“Excuse me.” Black snarled threateningly. The pink blockade didn’t take a hint.
“Oh! I get it! You’re stuck in, like, four seconds ago before we were best friends and you just met me! We get to meet all over again! How cool is that?”
“Joy.” The pegasus rolled his eyes.
“I’m guessing you’re an exercise buff! Know how I can tell? ‘Cause it takes more muscles to frown than smile! You exercise your face? THAT’S dedication!”
“I like to stay fit.” Black Spot was just about to walk over this annoying little insect when a sudden thought struck him,
“Wait, you said your name was Pinkie Pie?” Now it was the mare’s turn to frown.
“Whoa! Now you’re, like, ten seconds ago! Somepony hasn’t had their coffee this morning. Oh, wait, that’s me! I’m not allowed to have coffee, but nopony will tell me why.”
“YOU’RE the wielder of the so-called Element of Laughter!?”
“The one and only! Except for that time there were, like, twenty-something of me. Then I was the one-in-twenty-something-ith.”
Black Spot’s hooves froze in place and he stood motionless. Here, he was face-to-face with one of the most powerful beings in Equestria, but instead of being the warrior sorceress he always imagined, all she was was a hyperactive ball of cotton candy. Words failed him.
“Hmm… I think I broke him…” Pinkie leaned forward until her eyeballs were almost touching Black’s cornea. He winced,
“Get away from me!” This dust-chewing earth pony was the epitome of everything he hated about this town and it was sticking to him like gum on the bottom of his hoof.
“But you still haven’t heard the welcome song I wrote for you! It goes like-”
“That’s really not necessary…”
“♪ Welcome to our happy town,
And if you’ll take a look around, ♫”
“Please stop…”
“You’ll find a lot of fun to found, ♪
If you’ll just flip that droopy frown!”
“Ponies are staring.” Black Spot winced as passersby ponies pleasantly peered at his predicament.
“♫ So break a smile, don’t look ill,
‘Cause you’ll have fun in Ponyville! ♪
We’ll play all day and have some fun,
♪ I’ll introduce you to everyone!
Hit it, Gummy!” Suddenly, the earth pony was wearing a bright costume, dancing a jig, and “la-la”-ing to the sound of a street organ. She even had a baby alligator, dressed in a tiny bellhop suit, accompany her.
“I’m begging you, on hooves and knees-”
“Laaa-laa la-la-la! ♫
La-la-la-laa la-la-la!”
The dark pegasus suddenly bolted for the cover of a shadowy alley; anything to escape the public humiliation and active destruction of his incognito. The sounds of the street organ died behind him and he dared to stop for a moment and catch his breath. He hid behind a rain barrel and cautiously peeked back down the path he came on. Thankfully, there was no sign of the pink pony.
"♪ La-la-laaa la la-la-la! Hey!” The rain barrel exploded with confetti and out popped a radiant pink jack-in-the-box. Black’s heart almost leapt out of his throat.
“Holy-!?” He almost cursed.
“You mean Boneless?” The pony held up a limp rubber chicken.
“What!?”
“You said holey. And cheese is holey. And Cheese Sandwich gave me Boneless, so it all works together!” Black Spot could feel his brain crumbling under this little mare’s mental onslaught to all things intelligent.
“Why... Are... You... Talking to me!?” Black spot was never one to keep his cool, but this pony had boiled away his patience as soon as he had met her.
“Because that’s what I do! I meet a random stranger, talk really fast, sing them a song and then we’re best friends forever!” Pinkie’s hooves wrapped around Black Spot’s neck in an asphyxiating hug.
“We’re… not… friends!” The pegasus gasped. “An earth pony like you could never associate with a pegasus! I wouldn’t even allow myself the humiliation of talking to you!” Black made his words as sharp as he could, but they seemed to bounce like rubber off the pink mare’s ears.
“Silly! I talk to pegasuses all the time! Like, there’s Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy and Derpy Hooves.” A pause, “Actually, Derpy doesn’t really talk back much…”
“Goodbye!” Black Spot spun on his hoof and marched off. The sound of a spring could be heard behind him and he somehow knew that Pinky was following closely behind.
“… And Bulk Biceps and Daring Do and Twilight Sparkle. Actually, Twilight itsn’t a pegasuses, she’s an alicorn so she’s like an earth pony and a pegasus and a unicorn. It’s, like, she has all the corns! That’s why she’s all-i-corn! Gasp!” Pinky froze like a deer in the headlights. “I suddenly need popcorn!” In a flash of pink, the mare vanished down the alley.
The dark pegasus dared to look behind him as her fluffy pink tail disappeared around the corner of a cottage. He paused, craning his neck all the way around for any sign of the so-called “Wielder”. Was she gone? Was the nightmare over?
Nope.
His heart skipped a beat as the smell of salt and butter reached his nose.
“Did I miss anything?” Pinkie Pie asked, sitting right in front of Black Spot’s hooves. She tossed a kernel of popcorn into her mouth.
“Augh!” In an explosion of wind, the pegasus unfurled his wings and shot straight up into the sky.
Pinkie Pie frowned thoughtfully and shoved more puffed grain into her mouth. Her eyes narrowed like a certain futuristic cartoon and she said,
“Not sure if Cranky Doodle Donkey grumpy or Glinda grumpy…”
About five seconds later, Black Spot landed heavily on the outskirts of town. Lilly, who was standing in the shade of a nearby tree, smiled coyly at her officer.
“You sure took your time. Whatever happened to maintaining a low profile?” She giggled. Her smile soon turned to alarm as she noticed Black Spot’s flaming eyes and heavy breathing.
“What in Tartarus happened to you!?”
“I… will… burn… this town!” Black gasped. “I promise you… this abomination to all things noble doesn’t deserve to live!”