"Fluttershy? Darling it's been days, you need to come out." pleaded Rarity, hoping her friend heard her from within her cottage. Once again, as with the last hundred times they tried, there is only silence.
"C'mon Shy." carried on Applejack following the lack of reply, "You know she's right. It ain't healthy keepin' yer'self all cooped up like this. Ya gotta come out at some point." AJ pressed her ear to Fluttershy's door, and again didn't hear a response. "Seriously, could ya at least let us know yer ok in there, that ya haven't done anything foolish to yourself?"
After a few seconds of waiting and listening, she did hear the skittering of a small animal (likely Angel) toward the window by the door. Sure enough, a mussed and messy Angel pulled the curtain out of the way to address them. He shook his head, a regretful look on his face that said 'Sorry, not today either'.
AJ turned to Rarity, giving her an annoyed look that said an angered, yet regretful, 'I told you so'. "See, I knew pleadin' wouldn't work."
"Well I thought it was worth a try." Rarity retorted.
"How many times is this? Five or six?" AJ asked with a bit of sarcasm.
Rarity turned to her a little angrily. "At least I'm trying like a friend ought too! While you said we should just do nothing!" she said starting to get a little worked up. "Fluttershy's obviously suffering and in pain. Something happened to her in Cloudsdale and she needs her friends to help her through it."
"No I didn't." AJ responded indignantly. "I just think, as friends, we should give her some time and space." she said reasonably. "Whatever happened, she can get through it, and us badgering her ain't gonna help. Whatever it was, Fluttershy can get through it. She'll come out when she's ready, okay?"
"I'll try pleading again." said Rarity unconvinced. AJ lightly sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Any chance she came out today?"
Applejack turned around at that question, to see Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie walking up to the cottage. She shook her head. "Sorry Twilight. She hasn't come out today either."
"Oooh.." Twilight moaned in disappointment as Pinkie lowered her head, equally saddened by this.
"Well, at least she hasn’t smashed more of her things. And the cryin’s stopped. Ya'll got any new ideas to get her out? 'Cause I'm out of em'." asked AJ.
"OOO, WE COULD TRY A PARTY? She might come out i-"
"We tried that yesterday, Pinkie." Twilight interjected, making Pinkie feel a little bad and lower her head. "I'm sorry, but if even an extra super-duper super special Pinkie Pie Party couldn't get her to come out, I don't know what could."
AJ turned to look at the door, worry in her eyes. "Oh, ah'm really worried about her. Why's she keepin' herself locked up so tight in her home, not lettin' anypony in, not even us?"
"I know, and I also know she is obviously in pain and needs her friends. But if she doesn't want us to help her, she's not going to let us.” Twilight said.
When she left for Cloudsdale almost two weeks ago, she hardly gave any notice. In fact, she gave no notice at all. She had hastily left a note at Twilight’s palace saying she was going to be gone to Cloudsdale for a while. She was going to be gone for a while, not knowing how long, and she needed them to maintain things while she was gone. But when she got back… Things didn’t exactly go well.
"Well we gotta do somethin' to help her!" she finished, turning to the others. “Especially before Discord finds out.”
Every one of them shivered or showed some form of discomfort, as she was right. There was no telling what Discord would do if he found out about Fluttershy’s current distressed state.
"Uh.. maybe Rainbow Dash would have an idea of how we could help.” Mentioned Rarity, trying not to dwell on that too long. “You did send her a letter right, Pinkie?”
“Oh yeah, I did! I haven’t heard back from her yet though.”
-----
‘I want to die…’ she thought to herself, ‘I want to burn, to burn into ash, to become dust… to become nothing. ‘
Fluttershy just looked on into the fireplace, exhausted and numb, sitting in a room of debris upon torn books and ripped paper when the tears started to well up again. The warmth in her limbs pooled away, her heart hollowed and felt as if there was nothing there, and it all began to come out again. Tears streamed from her red, puffy eyes, swollen from the crying she’s already done the last few days. The pain too much for her to bare, she begins to whimper.
“Th- this iss.. j-just too much...” she whispered as tears began flowing in earnest.
‘I’ve gotten a dragon to leave Equestria by giving him a piece of my mind. I’ve reformed the embodiment of chaos incarnate. I’ve stood with my friends through the worst of things and helped save Equestria more time than worth counting. I had to be strong, and I pulled through my own fears, with my friends help, and helped them through tough times in turn. But… But this…’
Now it all really started to come out, as the whimpers turned to sobs, and the sobs turned to wails of sorrow. Hot tears streamed down her face, she screamed at the top of her lungs, and that’s when she lashed out. She reached for the nearest object she could and threw it. It shattered on impact with the wall opposite her, and the plate pieces fell to the floor, mingling with the pieces of other china and the lamp she already smashed.
‘It’s not fair!’ she thought, through screams and sobs and smashes. ‘All of these year’s, the worrying, the waiting, having to keep everypony else in the dark about it except for her, she already knew about that situation. And then to learn about it was all.. was all…’ she couldn’t continue to think about it, the despair too great to bear. She just reached to the broken-off table leg in front of her and proceeded to beat already shattered furniture and the floor repeatedly with it, roaring and shrieking all the while.
Angel was cowering up the staircase, peeking around the corner and hiding when debris goes flying, a look of distress and worry in his eyes. He was a bit messy, but has managed well enough on his own, taking food from the pantry every so often or venturing outside, eating and drinking with the other animals. But he can easily get by on his own. ‘All of the animals will be able to get by without me’ she thought. ‘They don’t need me.’
She could hear her friends call to her, wanting to help her, as they have for the last week, but she didn’t care, she no longer cared about anything. It didn’t matter. Not anymore. Nothing mattered after she received the information in the other letter. Not the animal’s, not Angel, not her friends, nothing. All she wanted was the darkness to take her. The nothingness envelope and claim her. And just end her suffering. What she wanted was to…
‘Wait…’ she suddenly thought, her rage ebbing, fading, and turning realization ‘Oh sweet Luna’s flank… She doesn’t know yet. Oh Celestia, how am I going to tell-’
*BOOM*
She looked toward the door, and heard everypony outside yell in alarm, knowing who that was. Just as Fluttershy knew.
Just before the memories began to well up, and those feelings tied to them become too much for her to hold in, Fluttershy thought ‘Well, I’m gonna have to figure something out pretty quick. Because she’s about to find out.’
----
Rainbow Dash slammed into the ground, jumped up, grabbed Pinkie and Twilight, and pinned them to the front of Fluttershy’s home. Apparently she got Pinkie’s letter. She had obviously been worried upon getting the letter, and that worry had turned to rage. And that rage right now was barely restrained.
“WHAT HAPPENED?! WHAT’D YOU DO TO HER?! WHAT IN BUCKING HAY HAPPENED?!” she yelled, holding her friends by their throats, fury in her eyes.
“WHOA WHOA WHOA, RAINBOW DASH!” exclaimed Applejack, “USE YOUR REASON FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE!” She and Rarity rushed over to try and pry Dash off them.
“PLEASE RAINBOW DASH,” begged a frightened Rarity, “LET GO OF THEM!”
“WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!?!”
After a few moments of being unable to tear her loose, Applejack decided to just kick her over before she could continue her interrogation. She flew over, Rarity pushed over with her, and Rainbow Dash lost her grip on Pinkie and Twilight. They fell over and started coughing and wheezing. Dash got right back up off Rarity, looking ready to unleash Tartarus on the lot of them if they say something she didn’t like.
Twilight got up and started to catch her breath. None of them were expecting such an outburst from her. *cough* “Rainbow Dash, just calm down, and we’ll- *cough* *cough* -tell you.” Twilight said. “And was that necessary?”
“SHUT UP!” she yelled, “WHAT HAPPENED TO HER!? I swear if you did ANYTHING to her, I’ll-”
-crash-
The sound from Fluttershy’s cottage drew Rainbow Dash’s attention, suddenly turning from enraged to worried.
“FLUTTERSHY?! FLUTTERSHY!” Rainbow Dash called into the house, looking almost as desperate as Rarity was earlier, standing against it with her hooves on the door. “WHAT HAPPENED? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN? DID SOMEPONY DO SOMETHING TO YOU? PLEASE TELL ME!”
All they heard were sobs and screams and the sound of more things being destroyed. But it sounded even more intense than before, more unbound, as if Rainbow Dash being here made it worse…
Dash slid a hoof to the ground and turned her head to slightly to her friends behind her, all looking worried just as her, and calmly asked “What happened?”
Twilight and Pinkie looked to each other, and Twilight stepped forward to explain. Though they weren’t the main cause of her current state, they were the one who evidently set her off.
-----
*six days earlier*
Twilight and Pinkie had been heading on to Fluttershy’s cottage, it was there turn to take care of the animals in her absence. It wasn’t long after they sent off the CMC with their class to Canterlot for some special project, and it wasn’t long after Rainbow Dash had gone to the Wonderbolts base for training. They’d been conversing about something or other. How to make a Pinkie Pie party even more extra special? More personalized? More of a Pinkie Pie party? What they had for breakfast? Whatever it was, it no longer matters.
As they trotted along, they looked ahead and saw a familiar pony. Yellow coat, pink mane, butterfly cutie mark. It was Fluttershy. She was walking slowly, almost lazily, her head hanging down.
Twilight knew that something was wrong, she could see it, feel it. She was about to ask about it, but Pinkie Pie… didn’t see it fast enough.
“OH MY GOSH! FLUTTERSHY!! YOU’RE BACK!!!!”
Pinkie bolted straight at her and embraced her, and she seemed to startle Fluttershy. Apparently her thoughts were elsewhere and she really had not heard Pinkie approach her until she was right in her face. She immediately embraced her with her customary overly-enthusiastic joy. That proved to be a mistake.
“*gasp* Pinkie?!” she exclaimed in startled surprise, red-eyed and obviously un-wanting of such an approach. “Please, I-I don’t wa-“
Pinkie swooped up to her and gave her a huge hug, and twirled around with her. “OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!!! FLUTTERSHY! WE HEARD YOU WENT TO CLODSDALE, IT WAS SO SUDDEN THAT I WASN’T ABLE TO ASK YOU TO GET US SOUVENIERS! HOW WAS CLOUDSDALE?? DID YOU HAVE A FUN TIME THERE??” She asked excitedly, obviously ignorant to her discomfort.
“Pinkie! I-I really want to be left alo-“
“OH AND SPEAKING OF FUN, WE SHOULD HAVE A WELCOME BACK PARTY!!! IT’LL HAVE LOADS FUN TO BE HAD AND-“
“Pinkie!” started Fluttershy, even shakier, panicky even, but still retaining her quiet voice, her mane, tail and saddlebag flying around and she was spun. “I-I-I I really don’t want to do this right now! Let go of me!”
Twilight decided to get involved then. “Pinkie, she obviously isn-“.Then she noticed Fluttershy’s appearance. Her eye’s, red and puffy, as if she had been crying for days. Her mane, messy and unkempt, allowed to become tangled and frayed. Her body, thinner, as if she hasn’t eaten for days. Panic flared in Twilight’s mind. Something’s wrong, something happened, she needs their help. So, Twilight intervened. But in a way that, in retrospect, only made thing’s worse.
Twilight exclaimed “*gasp* OH MY G- FLUTTERSHY!!! Are you ok?!” and proceeded to rush to her and question her.
And pry Pinkie Pie off her.
A few moments of Pinkie’s rambling, Twilight’s concerned questioning and Fluttrshy’s increasing protestation, discomfort and sadness induced isolating later and…
“I SAID DON’T TOUCH ME!!!!!!”
Pinkie and Twilight backed away instantly, obviously not expecting a sudden outburst by Fluttershy. She stood there, front hooves raised as if to defend herself, huffing as whatever it was she has pent up began to come out in earnest. She’s becoming more and more unstable by the second, Twilight knew it, she saw it, she felt it, but was paralyzed to do anything, not knowing what to do.
Pinkie spoke up “Uh Fluttershy-“. She couldn’t finish, Fluttershy just turned, took off and flew, bolted, to her home.
Twilight tried to teleport in front of her, “Fluttershy-*oof*“, but she shoved her out of the way. Doing so in such a panic threw Fluttershy off and she crashed. Before Twilight got up and Pinkie caught up to her, Fluttershy got right up, ran into her home and locked it. They got to her door and, before they could do anything, they heard her thump against the door whimpering. Then she wailed in despair. They didn’t even know what they did. All they could do was stare at her door, helpless and confused, and listen to her whimper, then cry, and then howl in abject despair.
-----
“I swear Rainbow, we have no idea what happened would happen and we’ve been trying to make it better, or figure out what happened or get her to come out and we are out of ideas.” Said Twilight finishing and obviously a little panicked, worried of another outburst from Rainbow Dash.
She just stood there, facing the door, hanging her head down, in stunned disbelief.
A sudden outburst of shattering property within Fluttershy’s home drew their attention.
“Fluttershy? F-Fluttershy, please?” Rainbow Dash was trying a gentler technique, which surprised her friends, “Please, you gotta talk to me. Please, you’re my oldest friend, and we’ve been through a lot over the years. We-“, she seemed to choke up for a moment, “We are closer than and pony else! You can talk to me. Please! Just talk to me!” She just continued to smash things. They heard a window crash, causing AJ to turn her head as, evidently, she saw the glass shatter. Fluttershy’s pitiful wails became slightly more acute, being less trapped by a sealed home.
Rainbow Dash backed away from the door, even more worried. “Do you have any idea what caused this?!” She turned and yelled, tears and desperation growing in her eyes. “ANYTHING AT ALL?!”
“We have no idea what happened to her.” Twilight insisted. Rainbow started gearing up for a fight. “WE DON’T!”
“Yeah!” Said Pinkie, “Hey we’re her friends too! And yours!”
She stopped a moment and visibly calmed down a little, backing down. She nodded for Twilight to continue.
“We’ve looked everywhere here in Ponyville and won’t be getting anything from Cloudsdale for a few more days. And all that we have been able to find just raises more questions!”
“Well?” asked Rainbow Dash, “What’d you find?”
“All we heard she got a letter in the mail before she left!” Said Rarity.
“So we checked with the Post Office,” added Applejack, “But the Mailmare checked and said it came from the Equestrian Military.”
Rainbow’s eyes widened ever so slightly. “Wh- What?”
“Why would they send her a letter?” wondered AJ. “I mea- Rainbow Dash?“ She noticed Rainbow Dash’s facial expression had changed. They all saw the look on her face. It was of realization. And fear.
“Oh no…” she turned to the door, “FLUTTERSHY!” she tried forcing the door open. “IS IT SHADOWSUN? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO HIM?”
“Wait WHO?” exclaimed everyone else in their own ways.
“DID HIS FAMILY TAKE HIM? IS HE STAYING IN THE SERVICE? WHAT HAPPENED?? PLEASE! YOU GOTTA TELL ME IF…”
All they heard was her continuing screams and wrecking of personal property.
“Wait, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight started, suddenly next to Rainbow, “who’s Shadowsun? What are you talking about? Do you know what’s going on with Fluttershy?”
Rainbow Dash didn’t acknowledge Twilight’s question. Just continued to stare at the door, waiting for Fluttershy to answer her. She just kept venting her sadness.
“Enough of this.”
Rainbow turned around and bucked at the door, causing the hinges to partially dislodging both upper and lower halves from the frame.
“Hey WHOA!” AJ yelled, hustling over to stop Dash, “What’d’ya think yer doin’!”
Before any of them could get to her, she bucked at the door again and the whole thing broke off the frame. When it fell, she went in to confront Fluttershy and find out what was wrong, and all of her friends followed in worried trepidation.
The air was stale and foul. The room was dark. The floor was covered in debris and assorted objects. Wood and fabric from furniture, bits of glass and porcelain from dishes and picture frames are scattered everywhere. Paper from books are lying everywhere else, torn, crumpled, text unintelligible. The walls were banged up and scratched. There is hardly any room to walk. The railing for the stairs is badly damaged, several steps are cracked, smashed in. Feathers, fur and the lightest red stains are in many places all over. The place is a hall of ruination. Then they saw her. It took their collective breath away.
She stood on her hind legs in the middle of the devastation, heaving heavily, gaunt and starved, clutching a hunk of wood, the leg from a chair probably, in her left hoof, gripping it weakly. Her wing’s hung down limply, several feather’s missing, and those remaining were un-preened and messy. Her fore hooves were lightly covered in dried red. Her body was covered in scrapes and scratches, obviously self-inflicted, all themselves lightly stained in the
For a few moments she just stood there, heaving, head hung low. Then she turned, slowly to face them.
Her face.. it was a sight to get them crying alone. Her eyes were red, dry and bloodshot, yet tears streamed from them as raging rivers. The look in them though… the look in her scratched face… she looked like she’d given up all hope. Like nothing matters anymore. Like she was.. grieving.
When she stopped turning, looking Rainbow Dash in the eye, she just tossed the blunt object aside. It conked onto the floor.
All her friends were shocked in the extreme. Twilight, Pinkie and Rarity, themselves teary eyed, saddened and filled with despair. AJ was only staring wide-eyed, equally shocked.’
“Was it Shadowsun?” Asked Rainbow Dash, calm and controlled, “Did something happen to him?”
“He’s dead...” Fluttershy said, in an almost dry whisper, verging on stammering and nervousness, “Shadowsun... the only stallion I've ever loved... He's gone and I’ll never see him again…” Rainbow Dash just looked at her in dis-belief, then slumped down, tears streaming from her face.